Sermons on Colossians 3:19

Colossians 3:19 Historical and Contextual Insights:

Building Families on the Rock of Christ (Grace Bible Church) provides historical context by explaining that in the first-century Roman world, the Bible radically elevated the status of women, and that Paul's admonition for wives to submit was a corrective to the misuse of newfound freedom. The sermon delves into the original Hebrew terms "ezer kenegdo" from Genesis, explaining that "ezer" (helper) is also used of God as a helper to Israel, and "kenegdo" means "corresponding to" or "fit for," emphasizing equality and mutual support rather than hierarchy or inferiority. The sermon also references the military origin of the word "submit," clarifying that it denotes order rather than value or worth.

Transformative Love: Husbands Loving Wives as Christ (Alistair Begg) situates Paul's teaching within the broader framework of creation ordinances, referencing Genesis 2 and the concept of "one flesh" as foundational to understanding the naturalness and depth of marital love. The sermon also references 19th-century commentator Charles Hodge to reinforce the idea that married love is as much a dictate of nature as self-love, and that neglecting or abusing one's wife is a violation of both natural and divine law.

Understanding Marital Relationships: A Path to Spiritual Growth (SermonIndex.net) provides historical context by contrasting the Old Testament and New Testament views of marriage, noting that in the Old Testament, the quality of a prophet's or leader's marriage was largely irrelevant to their spiritual standing or ministry effectiveness. The preacher cites examples such as Moses and Samuel to illustrate that family life was not prioritized, whereas the New Testament introduces a "second floor" of spiritual life that requires believers to cultivate good marital and family relationships as a prerequisite for spiritual health and ministry. This contextualizes Paul's command in Colossians 3:19 as a radical elevation of the marital relationship in the Christian life.

Colossians 3:19 Illustrations from Secular Sources:

Building Families on the Rock of Christ (Grace Bible Church) uses the real-life example of Phil and Kay Robertson from "Duck Dynasty" as a modern parable of marital transformation, highlighting Phil's journey from addiction and violence to faith and marital restoration, and using their story to illustrate hope and the power of Christ to redeem even the most broken marriages. The sermon also references a Harvard University study on the long-term benefits of children doing chores, using it to support the biblical principle of parental guidance and discipline. Additionally, the sermon mentions the cultural phenomenon of NFL players greeting their mothers on camera as an example of the enduring influence of mothers and the importance of family bonds.

Transformative Love: Husbands Loving Wives as Christ (Alistair Begg) employs several secular illustrations: it references the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical "Aspects of Love" and its song "Love Changes Everything" to highlight the transformative power of love, contrasting its sentimentality with the Christian understanding of self-giving love. The sermon also humorously cites Shel Silverstein's satirical song "Put Another Log on the Fire" as a caricature of male insensitivity and entitlement, using it to illustrate what Colossians 3:19 is not calling husbands to be. The analogy of couples growing to look alike over time is used as a cultural observation to illustrate the deep unity that should develop in marriage.

Embracing the Journey: The Heart of Fatherhood (SermonIndex.net) uses the Beatles' song "The Long and Winding Road" as a metaphor for the journey of fatherhood, drawing on the song's imagery of tears, loneliness, and perseverance to illustrate the emotional and lifelong nature of parenting. The preacher also recounts a personal story involving a friend who sang "Climb the Hill Together" at his wedding, using the metaphor of climbing a hill to describe the shared journey and challenges of marriage and parenting. These secular references serve to make the biblical admonitions about family relationships more relatable and vivid, though they are not directly applied to Colossians 3:19.

Colossians 3:19 Cross-References in the Bible:

Building Families on the Rock of Christ (Grace Bible Church) references several passages to expand on Colossians 3:19: Ephesians 5:25 is used to define the standard of love as Christ's sacrificial love for the church, with the Greek "agape" highlighted for its depth; Ephesians 4:30-32 is cited to show that bitterness grieves the Holy Spirit and that kindness, forgiveness, and tenderheartedness are essential; Philippians 2:5-8 is used to illustrate Christ's humility and self-sacrifice as the model for husbands; 1 John 3:16 is referenced to show that true love is demonstrated by laying down one's life; Ephesians 4:15, 4:26, and 4:29 are used to emphasize speaking truth in love, not letting anger fester, and using words to build up rather than tear down; 1 Thessalonians 5:11 is cited to encourage mutual edification; Genesis 2:18 and 2:21-22 are used to discuss the creation of woman as a "helper" and the equality implied by her being made from Adam's side; Psalm 121:1 is referenced to show the divine connotation of "helper"; Ephesians 5:22-24 is used to clarify the nature of submission; Matthew 19:4-6 is cited to affirm the permanence of marriage; Genesis 1:28 and Ephesians 6:4 are referenced in the context of children and family structure.

Transformative Love: Husbands Loving Wives as Christ (Alistair Begg) draws on Ephesians 5:28-29 to argue that husbands should love their wives as their own bodies, reinforcing the naturalness of such love; Genesis 2 is referenced to ground the marital relationship in creation and the "one flesh" union; the sermon also alludes to the broader biblical theme of Christ and the church as the ultimate model for marriage, referencing Paul's movement between these two realities in Ephesians 5.

Transforming Marital Harshness Through Prayer and Respect (Desiring God) references 1 Peter 3:1-2 to support the idea that a wife's respectful and pure conduct can be used by God to bring about change in her husband, and Proverbs 15:1 ("a soft answer turns away wrath") and Proverbs 25:15 ("a soft tongue will break a bone") to illustrate the power of gentleness in diffusing harshness and promoting change. The sermon also alludes to Paul's approach in 1 Corinthians as a model for embedding criticism within a context of affirmation and love.

Understanding Marital Relationships: A Path to Spiritual Growth (SermonIndex.net) cross-references 1 Peter 3:7 to interpret Colossians 3:19, emphasizing the connection between marital harmony and unhindered prayer. The sermon also references Exodus 4 (the conflict between Moses and his wife over circumcision) to illustrate the Old Testament's lack of emphasis on marital quality, and alludes to the broader New Testament teaching on the equality of husbands and wives as "fellow heirs."

Colossians 3:19 Christian References outside the Bible:

Building Families on the Rock of Christ (Grace Bible Church) explicitly references Mary Hunt and her book "Debt Proof Your Marriage," using her story of marital forgiveness and perseverance through financial crisis as an illustration of sacrificial love and the power of forgiveness in marriage. The sermon also quotes Matthew Henry's commentary on Genesis, highlighting his poetic description of the woman being made from Adam's side to be "equal with him, under his arm to be protected and near his heart to be loved."

Transformative Love: Husbands Loving Wives as Christ (Alistair Begg) explicitly references 19th-century theologian Charles Hodge, quoting his commentary on Ephesians to reinforce the idea that married love is as natural as self-love and that neglecting one's wife is a violation of both nature and God's ordinance. The sermon also mentions Sinclair Ferguson, summarizing his view that failing to love one's wife is a sign of spiritual dysfunction.

Embracing the Journey: The Heart of Fatherhood (SermonIndex.net) explicitly references Alistair Begg, attributing to him a list of four ways parents can provoke and alienate their children: injustice, inconsistency, comparison/favoritism, and severity. The sermon quotes Begg's insight that "children are people just as much as their parents are...they are not objects, they're not toys, they're little human beings created not in our image but in the image of God," and uses Begg's framework to elaborate on the practical outworking of Colossians 3:21 (though not 3:19). The sermon also references Dorothy Nolte, quoting her poem about the formative power of a child's environment, though this is applied to parenting rather than marriage.

Colossians 3:19 Interpretation:

Building Families on the Rock of Christ (Grace Bible Church) interprets Colossians 3:19 as a call for husbands to love their wives with a sacrificial, Christ-like love, emphasizing that love is not merely an emotion but a daily choice and action. The sermon draws a vivid analogy between "putting on love" and putting on clothes, highlighting the intentionality and effort required. It also explores the Greek word "agape," underscoring its meaning as sacrificial, selfless, and unconditional love, and connects this to Christ's willingness to suffer and die for the church—even when the church was the cause of his suffering. The sermon uniquely frames the husband's role as one of servant leadership, humility, and sacrifice, paralleling Christ's humility in Philippians 2. It also stresses that the command not to be harsh or bitter is a practical outworking of this love, and that bitterness grieves the Holy Spirit, linking emotional attitudes to spiritual consequences.

Transformative Love: Husbands Loving Wives as Christ (Alistair Begg) offers a nuanced interpretation by focusing on the command to love as an act of the will rather than a mere feeling, emphasizing the Greek "agape" as a love that considers the other before the self and acts accordingly. The sermon introduces the idea that harshness in marriage often stems from disappointment rooted in unrealistic expectations, and that neglect and bitterness can erode a marriage over time like a slow leak in a tire. It uses the metaphor of "spoiling" a marriage through neglect and contrasts sentimental expressions of love with the practical test of not being harsh. The sermon also introduces the concept of loving "sensitively" and "naturally," arguing that it is as natural for a husband to love his wife as it is to care for his own body, drawing from Ephesians 5 and Genesis 2. The analogy of couples growing to look alike over time is used to illustrate the deep unity and mutual shaping that should characterize marriage. The sermon further distinguishes itself by exploring the psychological roots of harshness—often a projection of a husband's own inadequacies—and by referencing the "ultimate couple" of Christ and the church as the model for marriage.

Transforming Marital Harshness Through Prayer and Respect (Desiring God) interprets Colossians 3:19 as a direct admonition to husbands against a specifically male temptation toward harshness, which is contrasted with a female vulnerability to such treatment and a natural gladness to be honored with care and tenderness. The sermon uniquely frames harshness not only as overt violence but also as a spectrum that includes bluntness, unemotional communication, and lack of gentleness, distinguishing between sinful harshness and ingrained personality traits that may not be sinful. The analogy of "oiling the relational wheels" is used to describe the need for kind words and encouragement, and the sermon emphasizes the importance of not globalizing criticism (i.e., avoiding "you always" statements) to prevent hopelessness in the spouse. The approach is deeply practical, focusing on incremental change and the power of gentle, specific feedback within a context of affirmation and trust.

Understanding Marital Relationships: A Path to Spiritual Growth (SermonIndex.net) offers a notable insight by paraphrasing Colossians 3:19 in light of 1 Peter 3:7, emphasizing that the command not to be harsh or bitter is rooted in the recognition of the wife as both a "weaker vessel" and a "fellow heir." The sermon highlights the danger of bitterness as a unique marital pitfall for husbands, suggesting that the brevity of Paul's command in Colossians signals a real and present danger of husbands growing bitter against their wives. The preacher introduces the practice of expressing genuine appreciation for one's wife both privately (before God, when she is asleep) and publicly, as a safeguard against bitterness and as a fulfillment of the command to love.

Embracing the Journey: The Heart of Fatherhood (SermonIndex.net) does not provide a paragraph-length interpretation or application of Colossians 3:19 itself, but rather quotes it in passing before focusing on Colossians 3:21 and the topic of fatherhood. Therefore, it is omitted from this section.

Colossians 3:19 Theological Themes:

Building Families on the Rock of Christ (Grace Bible Church) introduces the theme that the burden of Colossians 3:19 lies more heavily on husbands than on wives, arguing that when husbands love sacrificially, submission becomes natural and non-oppressive. It also presents the idea that the biblical model of marriage is a countercultural act of spiritual warfare, with Satan specifically targeting marriage and children as the foundational institutions of society. The sermon further develops the theme that forgiveness and the refusal to harbor bitterness are essential to embodying Christ-like love, and that the health of the family is directly tied to spiritual disciplines such as regular Bible reading.

Transformative Love: Husbands Loving Wives as Christ (Alistair Begg) brings a fresh theological angle by asserting that the command to love is not a victim of emotion but a servant of the will, and that failing to love one's wife is not only a failure as a husband but a sign of spiritual dysfunction. The sermon also highlights the "profound mystery" of marriage as a living parable of Christ and the church, suggesting that the way a husband loves his wife has cosmic, theological significance. It further explores the idea that harshness and neglect are not just relational failures but violations of both natural law and divine ordinance, and that the roots of harshness often lie in a husband's own unresolved issues.

Transforming Marital Harshness Through Prayer and Respect (Desiring God) introduces the theological theme that God uses the Christlike behavior of one spouse to effect change in the other, suggesting a dynamic of sanctification within marriage that is both individual and relational. The sermon also explores the complexity of human nature, distinguishing between sin and personality, and cautions against imputing sin where there may be none, which is a nuanced approach to marital conflict and spiritual growth.

Understanding Marital Relationships: A Path to Spiritual Growth (SermonIndex.net) presents the distinct theological theme that the New Testament elevates the importance of marital relationships far above the Old Testament, where the quality of marriage was largely irrelevant to spiritual status. The preacher argues that in the New Testament, a good marital relationship is foundational even for ordinary believers, not just leaders, and that the husband's recognition of his wife's equality and weakness is essential for unhindered prayer and spiritual vitality. The sermon also uniquely connects the command not to be harsh or bitter with the authenticity of appreciation, insisting that genuine gratitude for one's spouse must be expressed before God as well as to the spouse.