Will you pray with me this morning?
Father God, as we begin a new conversation today, would you just speak to our hearts? Would you speak directly to where we are? Would you give us a new tool today so that we could be more surrendered to you? God, we look forward to what you're going to do in this room. We look forward to what you're already doing in the back with our awesome children's department and our kids back there.
God, would you help us in these next few moments to just open up our hands, to open up our hearts, to open up our minds to what it is you want to teach us today? We love you, and we pray these things in your name. Amen.
You guys can be seated.
You might have seen a new face up here; we had Haley Wagner joining our band this morning. Isn't that awesome?
Well, we are starting a brand new series today called "Guard Rails." You probably know what a guard rail is, but just in case you didn't or you needed a little refresher, a guard rail is a system designed to keep vehicles from straying into dangerous or off-limit areas.
Typically, where you see guard rails being constructed, I guess you could say, are bridges. You know, because you don't want to go into the water, right? So it's probably a good thing that they're there. Also, medians are there to keep you in your lane so that you don't veer off into other people's lanes. But they're also there because other people could come into your lane, right? So you'll find guard rails there as well on the medians.
And then also, on curves, because sometimes you think you'll be going straight, and then what happens? A curve comes up. All of a sudden, there's a turn, there's a twist. So what do they do? They put guard rails up. Guard rails are always there to either direct us or protect us. They're always there to direct and protect.
If you ever notice this, guard rails are always put in the safety zone; they're never put in the danger zone. I mean, if the guard rail was put in the danger zone, it would actually be a little bit further, but it's always put in the safety zone, which means you actually have some buffer room. You actually have a little bit of gap; there's actually a little bit more safety room there. They put it there to give it just a little bit more space.
And nobody argues this, right? I mean, nobody looks at a guard rail and goes, "Man, I really wish they would put that just a little bit off of the bridge so I could get a little bit closer to that water." You know, and feel like Top Gun here. No, nobody ever does that, right? I mean, they put it in the safety zone, and nobody debates it. Nobody argues about it.
They're there to minimize damage because, I mean, if you hit a guard rail, it's going to do damage to your car, but it's minimal compared to the damage that would happen if you went off a bridge, if you went into somebody else's lane of traffic and hit somebody head-on, or if there was a curve and all of a sudden the road started to curve and you went off into a field or off the road or something like that. I mean, if you hit a guard rail, yeah, there's going to be some damage there, but it's so much more minimal compared to what could have happened.
The reason that we're talking about this, and we're going to talk about this through the month of July, is because we've spent the last couple of months, you know, in May we talked about mental health, we talked about anxiety and all of that. Then we just got done with a relationship series talking about sexual integrity. So we've done all of this, you know, kind of tilling up the ground, talking about our mental health and our sexual integrity and stuff, and it's brought up a lot of good conversations and a lot of good questions.
But now, I feel like when I was looking at the sermon calendar and looking ahead, I was like, "Man, I really feel like we need some guard rails." Because we need to protect ourselves. We've done all this work talking about our mental health and our spiritual health and our sexual integrity. We really need some guard rails to help us minimize the future damage that could be had.
Because you all know this, right? Future regrets can be avoided if I'm willing to establish some personal guard rails. Because all of us in our life, if we went back to our greatest regret, if we went back to the biggest mistake we ever made, we could look back and we could go, "Man, you know what? If I had, when I was young, when I was this age, when I was doing this, if I had had some personal guard rails in my life, I probably would have saved myself a lot of pain, a lot of money, a lot of time, a lot of just personal energy that I had to put into this to get this fixed."
I mean, I could have saved myself a whole lot of regrets if I had just had some personal guard rails. Because all of us could think about in our life how we maybe need some emotional guard rails or some mental guard rails. Some of us, we could think about, "I need some sexual integrity guard rails. I need to guard myself from some of this stuff." Some of us, we could think of, "I need some financial guard rails. I need some professional guard rails." If I had just had some guard rails in my life, I would have saved myself a lot of pain, a lot of sadness, a lot of time, a lot of energy.
And so that's what we're going to talk about over the next few weeks, is these personal guard rails. If you tune in next week for the online, that's not going to be part two. We're going to do part two when we come back in person on July 9th because I don't want anybody to miss this next conversation.
But as we talk about this, you know this, and I know this: if you establish some personal guard rails, what's culture going to do? Culture is going to scoff at you. They're going to think that that's silly because culture doesn't believe in guard rails. Culture believes more in painted lines, right?
I don't know if you ever know this, but where I live, there are several people here who live out where I live, where there's a subdivision out in Moscow Mills, just farmland everywhere, and then somebody just plopped a subdivision right there in the middle. Okay? So we all have to drive on like Medi Road and all this stuff, and it's the Wild Wild West. Okay? There's literally no guard rail, there's tons of curves, no guard rails on the curves. The only guard rails are very, very small ones on the bridge where Big Creek is, but that's about it. Otherwise, it's just painted lines.
I mean, if you go off the road, you are in a ditch. There's no shoulder; there's nothing to save you. The speed limit, if you ever go out to my house, is 35 miles an hour. The deer don't even go 35 miles an hour. Okay? Nobody goes 35 miles an hour. It's the Wild Wild West. People are zipping up and down like it's a Fast and Furious movie. There are hills; you'll get passed on a hill, you'll get passed on a curve. It's just unbelievable, right?
And it's just the Wild Wild West. All the time, I'm looking at stuff going, "Somebody's going to die on this road." I mean, it's just inevitable; somebody is going to get hurt. And that's a lot of what our world looks like. Our world doesn't agree with guard rails; they don't encourage guard rails. They like more painted lines, or I guess the way we could put it is guidelines, right? They believe in guidelines.
I mean, when you look at culture, what do they say? They say things like, "Drink responsibly." Okay, right? It's just drink responsibly, which I don't know if you know this or not, but if you start drinking responsibly, you could very easily become irresponsible, but you never know when that is. And then I don't know if you've ever told an irresponsible drinker to drink responsibly; it typically never goes well, right?
So, I mean, that's a painted line; that's a guideline. That's a cute guideline, but that's not a guard rail. It's never helped anybody. Or like, what do we tell teenagers? What about when it comes time to have sex, right? We just finished the talk, and here we are again; we're talking about sex. Okay, but remember maybe your parents said this: we encourage people, our culture encourages people, "Just wait until you're ready." Just wait until you're ready, which I mean this in the nicest way possible. A mother had to have thought that up because if you tell a 14-year-old boy to wait until he's ready, he goes, "I was born ready!" Like, what?
Oh, I'd say, "Oh, that's the line? Oh, well, I feel ready; let's go!" Right? I mean, that's a terrible, that's not a guard rail; that's a guideline. "Wait until you're ready." Every teenager under the sun thinks they're ready for everything. Okay, that's not a guard rail; that's a guideline.
Or what else does culture say? Culture says, "Follow your heart." And again, do you know how many times I've followed my heart, and it still got me in trouble with my wife? You know? I mean, it's like I will follow my heart, and no, it will still get me in trouble. That's a guideline; that's not a guard rail.
So here's the thing: if you choose to have personal guard rails, culture will scoff at you. They will laugh at you; they will call you a prude. They will say that that's silly because culture encourages us to what? Live your life. I mean, what do we even tell young people? It's the worst advice in the world: "Make mistakes." Really? Where did that get you? You know, "Go out there, live your life, make mistakes." You know, "Be your true self."
And so culture will never encourage guard rails. But here's what's so hypocritical about culture: culture doesn't encourage guard rails; however, culture will cancel you if you go off the road. Right? So if I got up in front of you, or if I got up in front of anybody and I shared all my personal guard rails, the guard rails that I've decided for myself, probably most of you would be like, "Oh my goodness, you're a prude. You're a conservative. You're this, you're that. You know, of course you would do that; that's just ridiculous." Right?
I would be laughed at; you would probably be laughed at for some of yours as well. But if tomorrow I have a moral failure and something comes out about me, or if I do something wrong, what will happen? I'll be canceled. I mean, people will say, "Oh my gosh, his wife should leave him; his kids should hate him." And every good thing that I've done for 35 years of my life will be completely forgotten because of this one mistake, and I will be done.
You would probably say, "That's it; he's not fit to lead. He shouldn't be a pastor anymore." If I just make one mistake and I end up going off the road and end up in the ditch, I'll be canceled.
So here's the thing: it's kind of hypocritical for culture to discourage guard rails but to also encourage the canceling out of people when they make a mistake. So here's the thing: if you do this, it'll save you a lot of time, it'll save you a lot of energy, it'll save you a lot of money, it'll save you a lot of regret, but you will not be encouraged by culture. Culture will scoff at you, and culture will call you all kinds of different things.
However, it could save you from future regrets. So we're going to talk about this, and where we're going to turn to begin this conversation is we're going to look at a letter that the Apostle Paul wrote. The Apostle Paul wrote this to a church that he planted in Ephesus, and all these Christians were there in Ephesus. He wrote to them, and he started to tell them all these things they shouldn't do because they're trying to wrap their minds around this new law of God and what it looks like to love God and love others.
So he's giving them some guard rails, some things that they should probably do or not do, but he understands too, like, "Man, I can't get legalistic about this thing and just start writing do's and don'ts because that's not really what this following Jesus is about." Because things change and stuff, I need to give them some handlebars here. I need to give them a way to navigate through this because some of this stuff is different for every person too, and there's context to all of this.
So I got to give them some handlebars to this thing so they understand how they need to drive this vehicle. And so he starts to talk to them, and this is what he says to them. These are his guidelines:
He says, "Be very careful then how you live." And that word "live" in the Greek, in the original language that he wrote this in, it means to walk. He's saying, "Be very careful how you walk. Be very careful where you walk. You need to be cautious; you need to have your eyes open. You need to be aware."
What Paul is saying is, "Look, you got to be careful because there's stuff." How many of you have a dog or have had a dog? Okay. How many of you have had a big dog in a small yard? Okay. Do you have to watch where you walk? Yeah, just a little bit, right? Because what happens if you're not careful? If you don't watch where you walk, you get doo-doo on your shoe. Okay, that's what happens.
So you got to be careful. You have to be careful where and how you walk, and that's exactly what Paul's saying. He goes, "Here's the thing: you got to open up your eyes. You need to be aware of where you're walking and the direction that you are headed."
And then he says, "Be very careful how you live, not as unwise but as wise." This idea of guard rails, this is not a new thing; this is in the Old Testament and the New Testament. But when you open up your Bible and you look, whether it's the Old Testament or the New Testament, there's this idea here that we refer to as wisdom.
Okay, you don't open up your Bible and say, "It doesn't say do the right thing; just do the right thing and don't do the wrong thing." That's not what it says. That's not the guidance that God has ever given us. Instead, the wise people who have ever lived have deferred to not what is right and not what is wrong, but what is wise. Because wisdom is better than right and wrong.
And so there's this question that we use around here. Many of you will recognize it; this is some of the people's most favorite question, most favorite thing we've ever preached about here. I didn't think it up; I got it from a pastor by the name of Andy Stanley who wrote a book about it in 2013. But the way that we phrase this around here is this:
"In light of my past experiences, my current circumstances, and my future hopes and dreams, what's the wise thing to do?"
We're going to read it together. All right, here we go. Ready?
"In light of my past experiences, my current circumstances, and my future hopes and dreams, what's the wise thing to do?"
See how that question gives so much more clarity? Because in a lot of my past experiences—not anybody else's past experiences, but my past experiences, my story—what's the wise thing for me to do?
My wife looked at me this week; we were out together, and she looked at me, and it was—I don't even know what we were talking about—but she goes, "Oh my gosh, I'm so glad you don't drink." And I said, "What? What are you talking about?"
She goes, "Did you order more Prime today?"
Here's the thing, okay? So Logan Paul came out with his drink; it's called Prime. If you don't know who Logan Paul is, he's a YouTuber; he's on WWE, whatever. Okay? Your kids will know who it is. But anyway, Logan Paul came out with this hydration drink; it's like Gatorade, but it's like zero calories, and it's super sweet and super, super stinking good.
So my kids bought it because it's Logan Paul; we have to buy it. Okay? And then I tasted it, and I said, "Oh my goodness, this is the nectar of the gods; I must have this." Okay? So I've done all this wheeling and dealing, and anyway, I'm addicted to this drink. I love it. After my workouts, I have a fridge in my office full of Prime.
Okay? I have my own personal fridge in my office that's lit up with LED lights; it's full of Prime. At my house, in my garage, I have five cases currently of Prime. Okay? And I have the special edition flavors; I have the flavors you can't find. I'm a dealer for some people. All right? People come to me, and they're like, "You got any of the lemonade Prime?" I'm like, "I'll hook you up." All right? That's the kind of situation I'm in.
But I have Prime, and I drink it, and I love it, and I'm addicted to it. And my wife's like, "Oh my goodness, I'm so glad you don't drink." And I'm like, "Why?" Because you have such an addictive personality. As soon as you find something that makes you feel good or tastes good or you enjoy, you just go bonkers; you don't stop, right?
And so I'm like, "I'm sorry; I love you. Please stop buying things on Amazon." Okay? But I mean, my wife's right. I mean, I have an addictive personality. One of the reasons why I don't drink is because I know this about myself. My family has an addictive personality. I mean, when we find something that we can get hooked on, we go all in.
And so I have to be aware of that; I have to be careful about that. It may be different from you; you might be able to do something in moderation. You might be able to only do something once. If I enjoy myself, I will do it a million times, and I will give all my money to it. That's just who I am.
So in light of my past experiences, in light of what I've been through, what's the wise thing for me to do?
And then in light of my current circumstances, again, where I am right now is different than where I was a couple of years ago, a couple of months ago, even a couple of weeks ago. Where I am right now, in light of my current circumstances, which is the wise thing for me to do?
You just had a baby; you just had your second baby. Some of you, you just had your fifth baby. Okay? In light of your current circumstances, what's the wise thing to do? Vasectomy is the answer, by the way.
But in light of my current circumstances, what's the wise thing for me to do?
Hey, you just lost your job. Okay? You're just in the middle of this season. Or let's even talk about this: in light of your current circumstances with your emotion, in light of your current emotional health, in light of how you feel currently, how you're angry, and you are about to post it, you are about to email it, you are about to text it to that family. But in light of where your headspace is right now, what's the wise thing for me to do?
And again, we're not talking about forever. You may be in a different headspace 24 hours from now, and it might be okay to email it. You might have some clarity. Or you know what? Six months from now, a year from now, it may be appropriate to buy that new car, to get that loan, whatever it may be. But in light of your current circumstances—not everybody else's, but your own—what's the wise thing for you to do?
And then I love this: in light of my future hopes and dreams. In light of my future hopes and dreams—not anyone else's, but my future hopes and dreams—what's the wise thing for me to do?
There are so many people in this room, man, if we could get in a time machine and go back 30 years, go back 20 years, even some of us, we go back 10 years, we've got, "Man, if I could go back to that night, if I could go back and just grab myself by the shoulders and be like, 'Bro, in light of where we want to be 10 years from now, in light of where we want to be 20 years from now, please do the wise thing. Please, please, please do the wise thing.'"
Because having insight into my future hopes and dreams—not just what I can have now—there are so many things that I can have now, but in light of where I want to be in the future, my future hopes and dreams, what's the wise thing for me to do?
Can't I talk about this all the time when it comes to our kids? I got a nine-year-old in the house; I got nine more years until she's 18, and then she's probably going to want to go to college, and she's going to get married. So Kate's all on this financial plan of like, "Man, we got to get ready because she's going to want to get married; she's going to maybe want to go to school." We got nine years.
In light of our future hopes and dreams for our kids, what's the wise thing for us to do? Millennials, this is a huge thing. If y'all want to be able to retire one day, okay? It ain't going to be like it was for our parents. If you want to be able to retire one day, you had better start thinking about that now because your future hopes and dreams are coming.
And if you want to be able to retire, look, you got to start planning for it now. So in light of my future hopes and dreams, what's the wise thing for me to do?
You see how much clarity this question gives you? Because all of a sudden, it's not about what's right or wrong, right? It's what's wise. And you know you can ask yourself this question, and you know for you what the answer is because I know in light of my past experiences, in my current circumstances, in my future hopes and dreams, I know what the wise thing to do is.
And then Paul says this: "Making the most of every opportunity." In the Greek, this literally means to redeem your time. Time is the most valuable thing that any of us ever have. And so he says you need to make the most of your time, to redeem your time.
Because here's the thing: this season that you're in, this chapter of your life, it's only here; it comes and it goes. Nobody can hit the pause button. So in light of where your kids are right now, I mean, the age that your kids are, they're only this young for this long. They're only in this season for this long. They only live in your house, hopefully, for this long, right?
So make the most of your time; redeem your time. And he says this next: "Making the most of every opportunity because the days are evil." Here's what he's saying: he's not saying, "Oh, because the world is terrible; the world is bad." He's saying, "Because look, here's the thing: there's danger everywhere. There is danger everywhere."
And so you've got to be careful where you walk. You have to be wise. You have to be wise with your time; you have to be wise with your decisions because all around you, there are traps, there are problems, there are holes that you could fall in, there are things you could trip over. And so you have to keep your eyes open.
You know this; you already know this. In the areas that matter most, you can't afford to be careless, right? In the areas that matter most, you can't afford to be careless.
Listen, look up here. When it comes to your marriage, you can't afford to be careless. I don't care how many years you've been together; I don't care how many anniversaries you've had. It doesn't matter what age you are; it doesn't matter any of that. You can't afford to be careless because the days are evil, and there are traps everywhere.
Look, when it comes to your kids, you got to ask this question: "What's the wise thing for me to do?" Because you can't afford to mess this up, parents. I mean, Kate and I, if we shared our personal guard rails with you about our kids, how conservative we can be at times with our kids on certain things, you would look at that and be like, "That's just kind of silly."
And I'd say, "Yeah, it seems silly a lot of times because these are even things like Kate and I used to do." But here's the thing: we don't want to mess this up, and the days are evil, and we're too aware of too much darkness in the world.
I'll tell you one thing: we don't allow our kids to do sleepovers. We just think that that's a bad idea for our kids. If you do sleepovers, that's awesome. Sometimes kids invite our kids to sleepovers; they're like, "Nah, we just think that could just be bad." I mean, it could be great, but it could go bad, so we just choose not to because we just don't want to be careless.
We want to be as careful as possible, and sometimes we're overly cautious; sometimes we're overly careful. Trust me, my nine and six-year-old tell me all the time, "Right now, you are such a loser, and you guys just don't allow us to do anything." And we're like, "We know."
But you know what? I hope, I hope 10, 20 years from now, I'd be like, "Oh my goodness, you saved us from so much pain, so much regret, so many things that could have happened." But we're so thankful for that. I hope maybe this is online so they'll have to watch this one day, and they can report back to me.
But you know, in the areas that matter most, or even like if you're single today, if you're single and you're young and you're living by yourself, look, even you take family out of it, take marriage out, take kids out of it. I mean, your financial future, there are so many things that are tempting you and could pull your money and take advantage of you. So you got to be careful; you can't afford to be careless because you can be scammed; you could be taken advantage of. You have to be careful too; we all do.
And here's the thing: when it comes to wisdom and when it comes to guard rails, a lot of times we look at guard rails and we're like, "This is just a little silly." I mean, because I know who I am, and I'm careful, and I'm smart, and I'm not going to do anything dumb, right? That's what we all say to ourselves. We all think, "I'm not going to make that kind of dumb decision."
But here's the thing: just like a guard rail is in a median to protect not just you from going into other people's lanes, but it's also there for what? To keep other people from coming into your lane.
And it's always like my dad used to tell me when I started driving. You know, I had my license, and I bought my own car and all this stuff, and my dad used to give me all these speeches of all these things to do to be careful while I was out driving or wherever I was going. "Don't do this, and don't do that, and don't do this." And I'm always like, "Dad, Dad, Dad, you know I'm a good driver. You know I'm a careful kid. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah."
And you know what my daddy used to tell me? He'd say, "Son, it's not you I'm worried about; it's all the other stupid people." Right? It's not you I'm worried about. I ain't worried about you; I know you're a good driver; I know you're a good kid. It's not you I'm worried about; it's all the other stupid people.
And here's the thing: in the world that we live in today, it's not enough to just pay attention to what you're doing; it's all the other stupid people out there. Because it's all the other stupid people. Look, it's not your kids; it's all the other stupid kids and stupid parents. Okay? That's who you have to worry about.
Guard rails are not just there to protect your decision-making; they're there to protect all the other people whose unwise decisions could affect you.
And so in this series, we're going to talk about relational guard rails; we're going to talk about family guard rails; we're going to talk about financial guard rails. We're going to talk about all of them, and they're not all there just to protect you from other people; they're there so that no one can make an unwise decision that could possibly affect you, so that you have a buffer from that danger.
And then Paul says this: he goes, "So therefore do not be foolish," which foolish is not a word that we use very often, right? Nobody looks at anybody and says they're a fool. But foolish is when you choose to not have your eyes open. Foolish is to pretend like everything's going to be fine. Foolish is out walking in the garden or walking in the yard full of whatever your dog may have just laid and be like, "I think I'm going to be fine; it's going to be totally okay; nothing bad is going to happen to me."
He says, "Don't be foolish; open up your eyes, man." And he says this then: "But understand what the Lord's will is." What are you saying when he says, "Understand what the Lord's will is"? It kind of seems like an oxymoron statement because it's like, "Just understand what the Lord's will is." Well, what is it? "Just understand it." Okay, got it, right?
But what he's saying is he's saying, "Open up your eyes." Because he's saying, "You know, you can ask yourself this question: in light of my past experiences, in light of my current circumstances, and in light of my future hopes and dreams, it becomes aware. You start to get that nudge; you start to get that pull. You know what the Lord's will is. You at least have an idea or a direction."
And so you've got to be willing to open up your eyes and choose to be wise. And here's the thing: when it comes to guard rails, guard rails are also there; they're one thing keeping us from another. Because we all know this: it's not just about going off the road; it's about what could happen if we go off the road.
It's not wrong to go off the road; it's what could possibly happen after we go off the road. And here's the thing: guard rails are there to protect us from kicking over that domino because we know once we hit that one domino, there's a lot of other things that are going to fall, and we have no clue or any control of how to stop it sometimes.
And so he says that next. Again, this is not a very popular version; we don't go here very often, so if anybody starts walking out, doors are locked so you can't leave. But anyway, I'm just kidding. Fire Marshal Bill.
And this is what he says next: "Do not get drunk on wine." Now, a lot of Christians use this verse in a lot of different ways. Let me give you a little bit of context, okay? We're back thousands of years ago, okay? And they didn't have filtered or even moving water. Okay? Water was stagnant. I don't know if you know what happens to water if it's stagnant; it gets pretty gross.
Okay? And so when they stored water, it was stagnant. Okay? And they were smart enough; they understood there was stagnant water, and then there was watered wine. And yeah, they had some knowledge of how to make wine. And so what they did was they had two options: okay, you either had watered wine or you had water. Those were your two drinking options.
And they were smart enough to understand watered wine could possibly get you drunk if you've had too much of it; water could end up dead. Okay? So it's either choose dead stagnant water, which you could end up dead on, or watered wine, which you could end up drunk on. So they usually chose the wine option.
Okay? But here's the thing: they weren't always responsible with it; they didn't understand it. And so again, Paul's using this to give them a little bit of some guard rails, some handlebars on this. And he goes, "Do not get drunk on wine."
And he says this, "Which leads to..." Because here's the thing: he's not saying, "Look, drunkenness is not the problem." Drunkenness is the guard rail. But here's the thing: it's when you pass that guard rail, this is what it leads to.
And here's the thing: every single one of us in the room, there are some of us—look, we've never had an issue with this. We can drink responsibly; we know how to do that. We know how to do everything in moderation; that's all good and fine. But there are plenty of us in the room who know what this leads to because we've experienced it.
Many of us in the room could go, "Yeah, drunkenness, I know what that leads to because I've lived that in my past experience." There are some of us in this room that wish, wish, wish that that guard rail of drunkenness would have been in somebody's life because we know we've been there; we've lived it.
Where that drunkenness led to somewhere we didn't want to be, or it led to somewhere that we loved, we didn't want them to be. Some of us, we could look at our life and back, "Man, I wish my parents would have stayed sober. I wish they would have had guard rails in their life. I wish nobody would have ever introduced this to me because of what it led to, the mistake that it led to."
Even the one-time thing that happened, I wish it never would have happened. I wish that never would have been said. I wish we never would have gone there. And if I had just had a guard rail with this, it never would have ended up there. Because we know, we know what drunkenness can lead to.
And some of us, drunkenness is not a guard rail; let's be honest. Some of us, drunkenness is the goal, right? But here's the thing: if drunkenness is the goal, we know that it can be fun, but we know how quickly it can turn. Because all of a sudden, it's not funny when four kids get in a car and they die on Highway 79.
We know that drunkenness isn't fun anymore when it leads to anger. We know that drunkenness isn't fun anymore when you're a mother with a baby, and your husband's passed out on the kitchen floor or on the couch. Then it's not so funny; then we have a problem.
And then once again, again, culture will encourage you to drink responsibly and have fun and live your life. But there comes a point where you come off the road, and you're in the ditch, and guess what culture says? Culture calls you a drunk. Culture shames you. Culture says that they're done with you.
And then all of a sudden, culture cancels you. So what do you do without guard rails? Because we all know what drunkenness can lead to. He says, "Do not get drunk because it leads to debauchery."
And debauchery is a term of giving in to sexual desires without even having knowledge or power over it and about being mastered by your desires. And again, that's in sexual terms, but we all know this is true to so many things. There are so many things that if we don't have a guard rail to protect us, that very easily we could give ourselves over to something, and it could master us; it could take control of us.
It was just had the sex talk; pornography can do this. Pornography, there should be a guard rail between you and pornography because pornography is not something that everybody can control. It is something that could very easily master you and have an effect on you.
The drunkenness can have an effect on you; gambling. I've had so many friends who gambling has become a master of their life, and they can't control themselves; they are a slave to it. Paul's point is this: look, you've got to have guard rails in your life because there are certain things that will lead to other things that will lead to you being mastered by something else.
The thing is, is he offers us an alternative, and he says, "Instead..." which up to this point, everything I've just said—I mean, this isn't even a Christian conversation; this is just a smart conversation so far. It's like you can look at everything I've said and be like, "Actually, that makes a lot of sense; that's just how life is."
But then he offers a spiritual answer to it. He says, "Instead, be filled with the Spirit." Now we start talking about the Spirit of God and the Holy Spirit. There's a whole lot of different backgrounds in this room; there's a whole lot of different ideas of what that means. But the simple idea is this: throughout all of history, before Jesus, the presence of God was always in a temple.
If you went to the temple, there was the dwelling place of God, and there was this huge curtain, and only the holiest of holy people could go in there to represent us. But all of us other sinners, we couldn't go into that room; we couldn't be in the presence of God. But when Jesus died on the cross, that veil in the temple was somehow literally torn in half.
And all of a sudden, Jesus tells us that what changed was now the Spirit of God, the Holy Spirit. We were the dwelling place; our bodies, you and I, we are now the temple. God looks at us as the holy place of God, and we're the dwelling place of that Spirit.
And so what Paul has said, and he said, "Instead, be filled with the Spirit of God. Be attuned to what it is that God wants to do in your life." Because we all know the culture of the world; they call it what? A conscience, right? Your conscience. And we've all felt that conscience. We've all felt that tug, that nudge, that like, "Ah, this isn't a good thing to do. I don't know if this is where you want to be. I don't know if you should go hang out with that person."
You know, we always feel that nudge. And look, the world calls that the conscience, but we Christians, we know what that is. That's the Holy Spirit. And I personally, I believe that's there ever before you even make the decision to follow Christ. I feel like God is pursuing you always, no matter what decisions you've made.
And so here's the thing: Paul is saying you need to be attuned to that. And when you become a Christian and you start to learn about this stuff, it's like it becomes more refined. It's like it becomes more tuned in, and you become hyper-aware of what that is.
But he's telling all of us, like, "Listen, listen to that inner voice. Listen to that conscience. Listen to that nudging of the Holy Spirit because it'll tell you what the wise thing to do is."
So to put this all together, this is what Paul says: "Be very careful then how you live, not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish but understand what the Lord's will is."
Some of the best advice I've ever been given—this is probably the best advice I could ever give any young person ever again. I didn't come up with this, but I've shared it so many different times, but this is so important: you have to understand this: no one plans to screw up their life. They just don't plan not to.
And here's the thing, young people in the room: if you're a teenager, if you're a 20-something, if you're even a 30-something, here's the thing: you got to have a plan. And you may not know exactly what that is; that's fine. You may be out in the desert; you may be still trying to figure it out, but you got to pursue a plan. You got to have a plan.
Because here's the thing: if you don't have a plan, and if you don't have guard rails to protect you, you will end up somewhere you don't want to be. Nobody who ever screwed up their life did it on purpose; we did it because we didn't have a plan.
No one plans to screw up their life; they just don't plan not to. And every single one of us has to have a plan. But this isn't a conversation about rules or legalism or anything like that. I'm not trying to be conservative on you or anything like that. What I'm trying to help you do, no matter what season of life you're in, here's the thing: stepping away from what can harm you is a step toward the one who loves you.
It's not about fitting a mold; it's not about being churchy; it's not about being religious; it's not about any of that. It's about if you can set up parameters and personal guard rails for you, whether those be financial or personal or whatever it may be, setting those up is stepping away from what can harm you, minimizing the damage, and that's a step towards the one who loves you.
I know sometimes the way I preach, the way I talk sometimes can come across kind of TED Talk-ish, right? I like that; that's good, you know? But it kind of comes across as a TED Talk. But here's the thing: I want you to understand this conversation that we're having. This isn't about—this isn't a TED Talk about you becoming a better person.
Here's the thing: this isn't about becoming better people; this is about becoming a more surrendered people. This is about sanctification; this is about holiness is what this is. This isn't about you being a better person; this is about being a more surrendered person.
Because here's the thing: the kingdom of God has come near, and God wants to be our King, and he's asking us to surrender our lives over to him. And when we make the decision to make personal guard rails, when we make the decision to do the wise thing, when we make a personal decision to step away from what can harm us, it puts us more in line with understanding the will of God.
It is handing over our life over to him, and when we hand more of our life over to him, we are better able to more genuinely love God, love others, and truly love ourselves. That is why we're talking about this, and that is what we are going to journey through for the next month.
But I want to pray for you. I want to pray for you this morning, and I want to pray for you that my hope is that this would spark some conversations with you. If you're dating somebody right now, I hope that this sparks some conversations of some personal guard rails maybe you need. If you're single and you're young and you're trying to figure out what adulthood looks like right now, I pray that this would spark some conversations that you and another friend could have about, "Man, I think I need to make some guard rails in my life. I think I need some financial guard rails. I think I need some integrity guard rails. I think I need some professional guard rails."
For some of you, this conversation we've had a lot lately—for some of you who have family drama right now and family turmoil and there's brokenness in your family, I tell people all the time, there's nothing wrong with setting up some guard rails between you and those people to protect yourself.
Some of you right now, you need some emotional guard rails. You just need to do something because you know in light of your past experiences, you know the demons in you. You know you go to church every Sunday, but people make your demons come out. You know what I mean? You know that, and you know you need some guard rails.
Again, not what's right, not what's wrong, not even what everybody else is doing, but for you, between you and God, what's the wise thing for you to do?
Let me pray for you this morning.
Father God, we thank you for this conversation. For some of us this morning, this question brings so much clarity, so much encouragement. It's just like a tool in my tool belt, something that I know I can pray, I can ask God, and I can ask myself, "In light of my past experiences, my current circumstances, and my future hopes and dreams, Father God, what's the wise thing for me to do?"
And God, I believe that you can reveal that to me. I mean, just hearing that question, I know what we need to do. I know what I need to do; I know what we need to do with our kids. God, will you help that to become abundantly clear?
And then will you help me to commit to making a plan for building guard rails in my life? Would you, during this series, would you help me to be here and to listen? And would you, as we talk about relational guard rails and emotional guard rails and financial guard rails, will you help me to listen, and would you help me to apply this to my life?
And would you help me possibly save myself from a lot of pain, a lot of regrets, a lot of energy wasted? God, would you do that for me? Would you help me to become a more surrendered person? Would you help me to be in line with your will?
God, we love you, and we pray these things in your name. Amen.
Will you stand with us this morning as we continue to worship?
on Nov 05, 2023
