Transformative Prayer: Daily Connection with God

In the sermon, I emphasized the importance of prayer as an invitation to a relationship with God that has the potential to impact how we live, work, and play every day. I highlighted that prayer is not just about growing a church or building a program, but about inviting the presence and power of God into our lives. I also stressed that if our desire is for our children to be captivated by the presence and power of the Living God, or if we want to make our workplaces better and serve the greater good, we will want to pray. Furthermore, I pointed out that if our desire is to be transformed into the likeness of Jesus, we will want to pray, and Jesus gives us instruction on how to do this.

In the second part of the sermon, I discussed the pitfalls of religious activity and the importance of motive in our actions. I explained that Jesus warns us of the poison that can infect our prayer, which shows up in the hypocrite who seeks validation from others rather than from God. I also encouraged the congregation to ask God questions and yield to His will over our own. Finally, I invited the congregation to be intentional in regularly praying in secret and shutting out distractions, and to see prayer as a conversation with God, speaking to Him and listening to Him.

Key Takeaways:
- Prayer is not just about religious activity, but about inviting the presence and power of God into our lives ([23:34]).
- Our motive in prayer should be to glorify God, not ourselves, and to seek validation from God, not from others ([34:07]).
- We should be intentional in regularly praying in secret and shutting out distractions ([50:04]).
- Prayer is a conversation with God, where we speak to Him and listen to Him ([50:47]).
- We should ask God questions and yield to His will over our own in prayer ([48:39]).

Bible Reading:
1. Matthew 6:1 - Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. #!!31:19!!#

Observation Questions:
1. What does Matthew 6:1 say about the motivation behind our good deeds?
2. How does this verse challenge the way we typically think about doing good deeds?

Interpretation Questions:
1. What does it mean to practice righteousness in front of others to be seen by them?
2. How does this verse relate to the concept of prayer and our relationship with God?

Application Questions:
1. Can you recall a time when you did a good deed primarily to be seen by others? How does Matthew 6:1 challenge you to rethink your motivations?
2. How can you ensure that your prayers and good deeds are primarily for God and not for the approval of others?
3. What is one specific way you can practice righteousness this week without seeking recognition from others?
4. How can you incorporate prayer into your daily routine in a way that is genuine and not just for show?
5. Can you think of a specific situation where you can apply the principle of Matthew 6:1 in your workplace or school?

Day 1: The Intersection of Prayer and Everyday Life

Prayer is not just a spiritual practice, but an invitation to a relationship with God that impacts how we live, work, and play every day. It's the intersection where our spiritual life meets our everyday life, where the power and presence of God show up in all the places we live, work, and play every day. [07:34]

Colossians 4:2 - "Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful."

Reflection: How can you make prayer a more integral part of your everyday life?

Day 2: The Desire for God's Presence

If our desire is for the power and the presence of God to show up in our lives, then we will pray. This desire goes beyond just wanting to grow a church or build a program, it's about wanting the presence and power of God to be evident in our lives. [24:24]

Psalm 27:8 - "My heart says of you, 'Seek his face!' Your face, LORD, I will seek."

Reflection: How does your desire for God's presence influence your prayer life?

Day 3: The Power of Prayer in Parenting

If your desire is for your children to be captivated by the presence and the power of the Living God, you will want to pray. Prayer is a powerful tool in parenting, not just for the well-being of our children, but for their spiritual growth and development. [25:15]

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 - "These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

Reflection: How can you incorporate prayer into your parenting?

Day 4: Prayer and Work

If your desire is to make your workplace a place where people thrive and what you produce serves the greater good, you'll want to pray. Prayer can transform our work from just a job to a calling, a place where we can glorify God. [26:03]

Colossians 3:23 - "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters."

Reflection: How can prayer transform your perspective on your work?

Day 5: The Desire to be Transformed

If your desire is to be transformed into the likeness of Jesus, to live a life with Him, by Him, through Him, in Him, you will want to pray. Prayer is a powerful tool in our spiritual transformation, helping us to become more like Jesus. [26:52]

Romans 12:2 - "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

Reflection: How has prayer helped you in your journey of becoming more like Jesus?

Good morning, Menlo Church!

So good to be with you. My name is Cheryl, and I'm one of the pastors here. We are one church in many locations, so I always want to give a shout-out to those in Mountain View, Saratoga, and San Mateo. It’s so good to be together this morning.

We are entering into a new series on prayer, and one of the important things about prayer is that it's an invitation to a relationship with God that has the potential to impact how we live, work, and play every day, right? Every day! Because we don't just gather here on Sunday for Sunday. We gather here on Sunday for Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.

I hope you know this: whether you're 12 or 102, you have been given a particular purpose, and you've been invited to live that purpose out in the places that you live, work, and play, with the people that you do life with, with the people that you encounter just randomly throughout your day.

And that's where our prayer life intersects with our everyday life. We want our prayer life to intersect with our everyday life. If our desire is for the power and the presence of God to show up in all of those places—those places we live, work, and play every day—then we will pray.

If my desire—and this can be true of me, unfortunately—is merely to just grow a church, to build a program, right? I've been doing this for a long time, and I can tell you, unfortunately, you don't actually need to pray to do that. But if my desire—which this is my desire—is for the presence and the power of God to show up in this church, then I need to pray, and I want to pray.

If your desire is for moral and dutiful, cute little children, you don't really need to pray. But if your desire is for your children to be captivated by the presence and the power of the living God, you will want to pray.

If your desire is to be successful at school or in your workplace, you probably don't need to pray. But if your desire is to make that place better—a place where people thrive and what you produce serves the greater good, whether it's providing jobs, education, building bridges, coding, or accounting—if you want to do that in a way that glorifies God, you'll want to pray.

And I can tell you this: if you desire to be seen as a good religious person, you definitely don't need to pray. But if your desire is to be transformed into the likeness of Jesus, to become more and more like Him, to live a life with Him, by Him, through Him, in Him, you will want to pray.

Jesus gives us instruction on how to do this. At one point in Jesus's ministry, His followers said to Him, "Jesus, teach us to pray." What's interesting is this is a group of people—the people who asked Him—they had grown up learning how to pray. They would have prayed in the morning, they would have prayed in the evening, they would have learned to pray the Psalms, they would have been instructed in prayer.

But I think there was something about the prayer life of Jesus, who they saw often go off to pray, who they heard pray. I think there was something about the prayer life of Jesus that they wanted to be instructed by Him. They wanted His particular instruction, and we want that too.

So if you have a Bible, you can turn to Matthew chapter 6. We'll have the verses on the screens as well, but let us pray, and we'll enter into God's word. If you feel comfortable, maybe just open your palms upward as a physical posture of receiving.

Because when we pray, we want to receive from God.

Jesus, we pray the prayer of your earliest followers: would you teach us to pray? Would you instruct us today through your word and by your Spirit? Would you put in us a hunger for prayer? We ask in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

So we're in Matthew chapter 6, and of course, we have to look at the context because context is always important. Matthew chapter 6 shows up in what is often referred to as the Sermon on the Mount. It's one of Jesus's most famous sermons. It begins actually in Matthew chapter 5, but we'll go all the way back to Matthew chapter 4.

In Matthew chapter 4, Jesus has gathered a group of followers to Himself, and He begins to show them what it looks like to live in His kingdom. He said, "My kingdom has come," and His kingdom is coming. He starts to show them what it looks like to live in His kingdom.

Then in Matthew chapter 5, He begins this Sermon on the Mount. He pulls them up to the top of a little hill and begins to preach. He starts by telling them who they are and what it means to be blessed in this kingdom. Then He tells them that His kingdom people—people who live in the kingdom of God, people who do the with-God life—they are the light of the world, and they will reflect God into the world.

Then He starts to talk about—He gives them a really counter-cultural moral ethic. I'll let you go down that wormhole on your own because it was counter-cultural for them, and it's counter-cultural for us. He talks about that, and then He tells them that they need to love radically. They need to love everyone; they need to love their enemies.

Then we get to Matthew chapter 6. There, Jesus begins to talk to them about the pitfalls of religious activity, and specifically, He's going to name some activities that He expects His kingdom people to regularly practice. They would have been practicing these things. He's going to talk about generous giving, He's going to talk about praying, and He's going to talk about fasting.

So He begins with this statement, and He says in verse 1, "Be careful not to practice your righteousness." I have to pause there because the word righteousness shows up throughout the scripture, and in this, it has some different meanings or nuances. In this place, what righteousness He's talking about is basically good deeds that you would do in service to God.

Okay, so He's saying, "Be careful not to practice your righteousness, your good deeds in service to God, in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in Heaven." He wants them to understand the poison that can come with religious activity.

Right? "Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them." But here's a problem for the listener of the whole sermon because just a few moments earlier, in chapter 5, in the hearing of this sermon, Jesus has said this: "Let your light shine before others that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in Heaven."

So which one is it, Jesus? Right? "Let your light shine before others so they see those good deeds," or "Don't do your good deeds in front of others as you pray or fast or give. Don't let people see them."

It's confusing here, right? And this is where Christians can get weird. There's a lot of places Christians get weird, but here's one of them. We read the second part; we only read chapter 6, and we go, "Oh, we kind of have a strange reverse pride. I only give anonymously. I'm so anonymous, I'm going to tell you that I'm anonymous. I never pray publicly. My life group wants to fast, but I can't fast with them because then they would know I'm fasting. But then I'm going to fast over here because I don't want them to know because that's how I am."

But the emphasis of Jesus in this sermon is not an either-or. The emphasis of Jesus is on motive. Right? He says, "Let your light shine before others so that they may see your good deeds and then glorify your Father in Heaven." The motivation there is to show God's greatness, not ours—to glorify God, not ourselves.

When He says, "Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in Heaven," the motivation is the reward that comes from the Father, not the validation of the crowd. It's not to gain attention, the attention of others, but it's to be attentive to God.

So here's what Jesus says specifically about prayer. Drop down to verse 5. He says, "When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly, I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door, and pray to your Father who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.

Jesus is warning them. He's warning them of the poison that can infect their prayer. It shows up in the hypocrite who cries out, "See me! Validate me! Look at me! I'm praying!" It shows up in the pagan who demands, "Hear me! Reward me!"

You see, the motive of the hypocrite is to be seen by others. And here's the truth, right? We all long for validation. That's not a bad thing. Tell me I matter. Tell me I'm good at this. Tell me you see me.

Recently, I was on a retreat with some other pastors and Christian leaders, and they sent us out to do this exercise and this kind of time of meditation and prayer. They gave us a whole bunch of scripture about the love of God for us and how much God loves us. As I was meditating upon the scripture, I kind of had this conversation with God because what struck me—and what I said to God was—I was like, "I know that you love me. I know these scriptures. I know that your validation of me is the ultimate validation that I can receive, right?"

But why—and this is what I asked the Lord, and I sat with it. I'm still sitting with it—why am I so compelled to perform and strive and live and lead from places of insecurity and fear and pride? Why is that still in me?

And He whispered to me—not in a harsh way, but it was gentle, it was kind. What He whispered to me was so true because yes, I know God loves me, but I want you to love me, and you to love me. I want you to validate me. I want my co-workers to validate me. I want my friends and my family to validate me. I want the barista to validate me, okay? I want strangers to validate me.

And it's again not wrong to seek validation from others. It's not wrong to want those in your life to express love to you. But when this good thing becomes an ultimate thing, it crushes us.

Pastor Tim Keller wrote a little book that I highly recommend. It's not even 100 pages. It's called "The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness." In it, he talks about this insatiable need of ours for validation, and he quotes the singer Madonna—if you even know who that is—but she was like the Taylor Swift of the '80s, okay?

He quotes Madonna, and he commends her self-awareness because in an interview, she said this: "My drive in life comes from a fear of being mediocre. That is always pushing me. I pushed past one spell of it and discovered myself as a special human being, and then I feel I'm still mediocre and uninteresting unless I do something else. Because even though I have become somebody, I still have to prove that I'm somebody. Even though I have become somebody, I still have to prove that I'm somebody. My struggle has never ended, and I guess it never will."

We are creatures with an insatiable need for validation. And like the hypocrites, we're tempted to take the good and the beautiful practice of prayer and, rather than enjoying intimate conversation with God—who unconditionally loves us, who validates us, who has accepted us—we start clamoring for the accolades of other people.

The motive of the hypocrite is to be seen and validated by others. And then there's the motive of the pagan. The motive of the pagan is to be heard in order to get what they want, right? This person believes that with their many words, they can wear down their God or the universe or whoever answers prayers out there with all that babbling, and then maybe they can manipulate the outcome.

Here's how it shows up in Christians, and it shows up all the time in the church. It shows up with me. It's this thought that if I can just learn to pray in just the right way, maybe this person is going to give it to me, right? With just the right words, then God will answer my prayers how I want God to answer my prayers.

So often when it comes to prayer, we're looking for a formula, right? We're looking for a formula—the right book, the right formula to get our desired outcome. But prayer is not a formula. Prayer is not a formula. Hear that: prayer is not a formula. It is a friendship with God.

So Jesus tells us what not to do, but then He tells us what to do. Verse 6: "But when you pray, go into your room, close the door, and pray to your Father who is unseen. Then your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you."

For your Father knows what you need before you ask Him. Now, of course, it doesn't mean you never pray in public. The Bible is filled with public prayer gatherings, even commands to pray together and be together in prayer. But secret prayer—secret prayer is a guard against poisonous prayer.

Maybe I know this better than anyone. I'm paid to pray in public. It's a pretty good gig. They pay me. You all know that they pay me. I'm paid to pray in public. I get asked to pray at all family prayer gatherings. Prayer is an important part of being a pastor, and it has become very, very clear to me that my prayers can easily become performances if my private prayer life doesn't exceed my public prayer life.

And there are seasons when it does not. And that's my check. That's the check for me: is my private prayer life exceeding my public prayer life? True for you as well?

Jesus gives us an invitation to secrecy in our prayer because prayer is not a formula for success; it's protection for our souls. That secret prayer life protects my soul. It protects me from myself.

Again, Jesus says, "But when you pray, go into your room, close the door, and pray to your Father who is unseen. Then your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you."

And that's it! That's it right there! It is for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.

So if this is true, it tells us something really important. If this is true, then prayer must be more than a formula for us to perfect. If this is true, prayer is more about who we pray to than what we pray for.

And Jesus so wants us to see this. He only refers to God in this teaching as Father. That's the who. Three times He says, "Pray to your Father who is unseen. Then your Father who sees will reward you." Because our Father knows our needs before we even ask Him.

Prayer is a relationship with a loving, all-knowing, good Father. But here's what can be hard for some of you: you have not experienced a loving father, so it's hard to think of God that way. Maybe your relationship with your father is or was marked by fear, or maybe it was marked by the need to succeed and prove and strive. But you've longed for a good father. You know that longing.

It's why anytime we see a video like—I'm going to have us look at—any time we see a video like this on the interwebs, it just grabs our affections and it grabs our emotions.

Take a look.

Nine-year-old Luca Cestarino thought he was sparring with his instructor when someone else stepped onto the mat.

"Keep your goals up, Jeff! Keep your hands up!"

That voice, that nickname—only his dad would know.

"Come on, ship!"

Stopping Shiv in his tracks.

"What?!"

So here we go.

"Daddy!"

That hug after 10 months apart while his father, Staff Sergeant Rob Cestarino of the Tennessee National Guard, was deployed in Syria.

"You were such a big boy! I'm so proud of you!"

That's our picture of prayer—to fall into the heart of God who validates you, who says, "I'm so proud of you."

That's prayer. Prayer is a conversation. It's a relationship.

So when we pray, we want to be intentional. Intentionality is the secret sauce of any good relationship. You know that. Intentionality is the secret sauce of any good relationship.

So be intentional. And this is what Jesus says: He says, "Be intentional. Go into your room." Be intentional about your place, your time, and your plan for meeting with God. Yes, we can pray as we go. Yes, we can pray along the way. But there is a place—an intentionality about this conversation with God.

I think that kind of requires a place. My place is my porch. It requires a time—typically for me, that's in the morning. It requires, I think, a plan. It doesn't always have to have a plan, but something that helps guide us in our prayer.

Sometimes I use a little acrostic that is easy to remember: pray. P-R-A-Y. Right? And the way I think of it is:

P—praise God. I just need to pause and get my heart turned from myself and my awesomeness to His awesomeness, right? I just need to praise Him. I need to thank Him.

Praise God.

The R—relate with God. Prayer is a conversation. It's conversing. It's listening. It's not just talking at God.

So P—praise, R—relate, and then A—ask. Definitely ask. Ask for the desires of your heart. Ask for the things that you want done in the lives of others. And then ask God questions that He might answer for you.

"God, what do you want me to want? God, how would you have me pray today? God, who do you want me to pause and talk to in the school cafeteria or at work? What cubicle would you have me go by today? Would you put somebody on my mind? Would you put somebody on my heart?"

And then Y—yield. Then yield. Yield to what He says to you, what you sense by His scripture and by His Spirit. Yield to His will over your will.

Pray: praise, relate, ask, and yield.

Date nights and times with friends—you guys know this—they don't just happen. You schedule them. You commit to them. Let's do that with the Lord.

So go into your room, and then He says, "Shut the door. Close the door." Be intentional to regularly pray in secret. Be intentional to shut out the distractions.

When distractions come to me—and they always do, always—I just either pray them or I write them down, knowing I can come back to them.

Right? And pray to your Father.

And we talked about that. Pray. Use, as Eugene Peterson talks about, our sanctified imagination. Use that picture that we just saw of that dad. You're the son; you're the child coming into His arms, hearing Him say to you, "I'm proud of you. I love you. I've missed you. I'm glad to be with you."

Jesus prayed. The Bible tells us that He's actually still praying for us—that Jesus lives to make intercession for us. And often, Jesus would come back from His prayers, and Jesus would say this about His conversations with the Father: "I only do what the Father tells me to do. I only say what the Father tells me to say."

Right? So as a community, we want to be a community that wants to pray—not doesn't have to, not a should, but a want to—to be in conversation with God, speaking to Him and listening to Him.

So here's some opportunities I'd love for you to take advantage of that we have at Menlo.

One, throughout this series, we've put a resource—it's a prayer guide. This could be your plan. It's a prayer guide for each week of this series. You can find that at menlo.church/teachushowtopray. That's a long one, but it's the title of the series, slash teach us how to pray. You can download that today, and that could be your plan for this week. You could use it with your life group, but hopefully, it will help you as you seek to meet with God in prayer.

The other you've already heard about, but I just want to personally invite you: would you come be with me at the spiritual formation retreat in October? I would love for you to be there with me and a number of our staff. It is my favorite thing we do. There's nothing like being at Mount Hermon. It's the best!

If you want to learn about prayer, the focus of this year's retreat is going to be on listening prayer, and I would love for you to be there. Mount Hermon is the best place to learn about prayer, and being in that beautiful setting will cost you. It will cost you money; it will cost you even your more precious commodity—it will cost you your time. Nobody has a weekend that they're free to go learn about prayer.

But maybe you'd take that time that weekend and come be with us to experience—not just to talk about prayer, but to actually pray. We'll make it a safe place for you. It might be a step of courage for you. Prayer might be scary. We want to make it a safe place.

But yeah, it'll cost you some things, but I would love for you to consider joining me on that spiritual formation retreat.

And then the last thing is this: let's get ready for Monday—not Tuesday, not Wednesday, tomorrow.

And so I want to just create a little space right now. Would you consider tomorrow what will be your time? When will you meet with God? Maybe it's in the morning; maybe it's during a lunch break; maybe it's in the evening—that's better for you. Maybe you'll get to school early and sit in your car for 10 minutes and pray, or at work.

What's your place going to be, and what will your plan be? Will you download those resources from the website? Maybe you'll use the little acronym PRAY. But have a place, have a time, and have a little bit of a plan.

Again, not for Tuesday—just tomorrow. Just tomorrow. And then tomorrow, you can worry about Tuesday, right?

So for a moment, I just want us to go ahead and bow our heads. I want us to pray and talk with God about this for a little bit. I'm going to give you some time of silent prayer, just to talk to God about what would my place be, what would my time be, what would my plan be, what do you want to ask Him for, what do you need to step into a life of prayer?

And then I'll close us.

Father, thank you that you see us, that you delight to meet with us, that you long for us to do our life not just for you, but with you. Thank you that when we come into relationship with you through your Son Jesus, your Spirit doesn't just come alongside us, but your Spirit actually indwells us.

We thank you for that kind of intimacy, that kind of closeness, and we can't wait for tomorrow.

In Jesus' name, amen.

1. "We all long for validation. That's not a bad thing. But why am I so compelled to perform and strive and live and lead from places of insecurity and fear and pride? Why is that still in me?" - 37:04

2. "God, what do you want me to want? God, how would you have me pray today? God, who do you want me to pause and talk to in the school cafeteria or at work? What cubicle would you have me go by today? Would you put somebody on my mind, would you put somebody on my heart?" - 48:39

3. "The emphasis of Jesus in this sermon is not an either or. The emphasis of Jesus is on motive. Let your light shine before others so that they may see your good deeds and then glorify your father in Heaven. The motivation there is to show God's greatness not ours, to glorify God not ourselves." - 34:07

4. "Prayer is not a formula. It is a friendship with God. Secret prayer is a guard against poisonous prayer. My prayers can easily become performances if my private prayer life doesn't exceed my public prayer life." - 41:15

5. "Jesus gives us an invitation to secrecy in our prayer because prayer is not a formula for success. It's protection for our souls. That secret prayer life protects my soul. It protects me from myself." - 43:36