Good morning, y'all. Y'all, my name's Joel King. I'm one of the pastors here at Trinity Church. We're glad that you're with us.
I'd like to start this morning by having you kind of dig up a memory, as long as it's not too painful. I want you to think of the worst punishment that you've ever received. The worst punishment that you ever received.
Now, I'm asking this because I actually have a distinct memory, and it may actually surprise you. So I kind of lucked out. My dad— you got to listen to the whole statement here, okay? I lucked out. My dad had been married a couple of times before he met my mom and had had a hand in raising seven other kids before me. And so he had made a lot of mistakes and did a lot of stuff. He was about 44 when I was born, so he'd already lived a lot of life and whatnot.
And so I grew up in a home where there was a decent balance— at least comparative to today— there was a decent balance between strict rules and guidelines with punishments. There were spankings and groundings and all that kind of stuff, and lots of love and grace and hugs and kisses from my dad and my mom. So it was a decent balance.
Like I said, my parents, when we were little— not when we were older, but when we were little— they used spanking, but it was one of those deals. Usually, it was either when I did something really bad or defiant. So it didn't happen a whole lot because most of the punishments were other stuff. But that was the case for me.
And so I had this issue when I was seven years old, and I liked fire. This was back when I lived in Wyoming at the time. And it was back when cigarettes were cool. All the movie stars were using them. The Marlboro man was like the man. He used them. And so coming across matches was like easy— way, way, way easy. So it kind of fed my curiosity.
And usually, I was pretty good with it, and I only got, you know, in trouble a few times. But there was one time where I was out. We had an alleyway behind our house. There was an alley, and I know in California, like, what is that? You mean land that's not designated for somebody?
So anyhow, I was out in the alleyway. I found a dry patch of grass, and so I built myself a little fire. I don't know if the wind came. I don't know what happened, but it started getting a little bit out of control for at least a seven-year-old. It wasn't something I could just kind of stamp out. It actually got— the grass was higher than I'd imagined.
And so now I don't— I can't tell you all the details because a lot of the details are a little bit fuzzy. I do know I tried to put out the fire with my brother's shoe. How in the world I had my brother's shoe, I don't know. But a neighbor showed up, and then I know at one point, it was obvious I couldn't take care of it, and I was heading inside at the same time my dad was heading outside.
As he was heading outside, I'm at this point bawling, and I'm like, "Spank me, daddy, spank me." I am just— because I know I have messed up big time. My father sends me to my room, which, this is, by the way, one of the good things that he had learned. He never got mad and spanked me. It was always, "Go to your room," and he'd come a little later on, which is usually, by the way, worse than the spanking.
And then he would show up. So he didn't ever spank in anger. At least that's not what I remember. It was a correction for what I had done. So he sent me to my room, which was fine, and I'm waiting. But at this point, I'm anxious. He needs to come and spank me because this was a big one. But he didn't.
And let me tell you, I've been punished many times in my life. That's the one that sticks out. For me, that was the worst punishment that I ever received. Now, I know— I forget when the switch flipped— somewhere, the switch flipped, and I realized I was forgiven and it was done. But I can tell you in the moment, it didn't feel that way. There was no closure.
See, that was the thing about when you got a punishment. You know, when you got a timeout or grounded or whatever the issue may be, when you got that, it's done. You paid for it. It's over. We move on with life, right? Now, I know some families, they keep drudging that stuff back up. And I was lucky in that my family was just something that we laughed about, but it was done with.
But this time, that didn't happen. And as we're talking about in our series, we are talking about the power to change. We're coming into issues, quite frankly, where we begin to get stuck. And one of the issues that we get stuck on are issues where there was no true closure or forgiveness that happened.
We've kind of moved on with life. They're like distant memories, maybe. Maybe they're not so distant memories, but it's hard for us to move forward because there was never closure or forgiveness in that particular area. And that's kind of where we find ourselves today.
So what we're doing is we're looking at God's word, and we're looking— we're saying, listen, we are people. Yes, we are Christians. Yes, we follow Jesus. Yes, God's gonna bring us unto himself, and there is glory ahead for us. But the truth is we are people. And the truth is we are messed up people. And the truth is we still got a lot messed up no matter how long we've been at church.
And we're constantly running into the fact that we can't change ourselves. It doesn't matter what we believe. We all have issues in our lives where we cannot get over this hump. So we're saying, what does it look like to get over that?
And one of the frameworks, if you will, that we're using is the 12 steps. Okay? Mainly because this has been going— these steps, they've been really used for thousands of years, but in their current form, they've been used for the last hundred years and are the most successful.
I am powerless, yet I've been able to change— a set of principles that we've had, that we've seen in the last hundred years. Aside from obviously straight from God's word itself, these 12 principles. And we've tried— we traced the history back. These are 12 principles that were started by actually a group of folks, but primarily by two folks who were in a Bible study called the Oxford Group.
And in this Bible study, they got clean and sober. At that time, the main issue was alcoholism. And they found these 12 principles out of God's word that have helped literally hundreds and thousands— probably millions now— of people find a power to change that they could not change otherwise.
And so we're looking at these principles, right? And so last week, we talked about two principles, step six and seven. First of all, remember— actually, I'll backtrack up even further. What we did was there came a point we were powerless. We said, there's gotta be a power greater than ourselves.
And we say, okay, as much as I understand God, I'm turning this over to you. And I understand it's a process. At that moment, we didn't turn everything over, but at least we became willing. We decided to begin that process.
And so when we decided that, we started with looking at our lives and going, okay, let's do a thorough moral inventory and let's just be clear on why I really need him. Right? So that was that whole fearless and moral— all, you know, whether it's what you did last week or in your lifetime, whatever that may be, we looked at that.
And then the next step, five, was, okay, let's get honest about it. Let's get honest about the nature of it with ourselves. Let's get honest with it about the nature with God. And let's get honest with just one person. No stranger, nobody— we— somebody that we barely know, but at least one other person hears the deepest, darkest, every corner.
And then, like I said last week, after we see that we've confessed to a person, step six is we are entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. Because there's one thing to say, "This is what I've done." It's another thing to say, "I really don't want to do that anymore."
Which is, by the way, let's just be honest, a lot of us like the stuff that messes us up. Let's just be honest. A lot of Christians, we like our self-righteousness. We like our little whatever it may be.
So the first step is, are you willing? And then the next step, seven, is that we humbly ask God to remove those shortcomings. Now, at this point, those who have kind of gone through this, they understand that there's a step that needs to be taken here.
And this is the way the big book— that's the recovery program book— puts it. It says this. It says, now we need more action, without which we find that— and then it quotes James 2:17. It doesn't give the reference in the big book, but it quotes James 2:17. Faith without works is dead.
In other words, what it says— what it basically means is this. We have found at this point, if we humbly ask God to remove our shortcomings, if we do nothing, then it comes to nothing.
To say that we trust God, but we're not willing to trust him enough to do what he asks us to do means that we really don't trust him in the first place. And that's the place we come. And so it says, now we need to do something.
So, step eight. We made a list of all persons that we had harmed, and we became willing to make amends to them all. That's the next step. Make a list of folks we have harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
Now, again, this is a biblical principle. I think this is in your notes. Matthew chapter 5, 23 and 24 says this. Therefore, if you are offering a gift, leave your gift at the altar. And there, remember that your brother has something against you. Leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother. Then come and offer your gift.
Now, let me kind of give you the context of this. You can go back. I always suggest that you do this, right? Don't just take the sentence and pull it out and say, "Oh, well, he said it, so it must mean that." You can look back at the context, but I'll give you, for time's sake, a quick view.
This is the Sermon on the Mount. It starts with all the blessed are the poor in spirit, those who mourn, so on and so forth. When he's done with that, he talks about salt and light, and he talks about— he begins this process of saying, "You have heard it said," and he does this really mean thing, okay? I'm talking from a human perspective. Here's the mean thing.
You have heard it said, and he gives the outward appearance. You've heard it said this, but I tell you— and then he dares go to the heart, as if the outward thing weren't tough enough, right? So in the context of this verse, what he says is, you've heard it said, "Do not murder." That's the outward thing, right? So far, by the Old Testament standard, I'm doing pretty good on the murder thing, all right? I mean, there's one I can say I'm doing pretty good until Jesus shows up, because Jesus says, "If you just call your brother a fool, you're guilty of this."
Well, there goes that one out the window. And so it's right after he says, "If you call your brother a fool," that he says, "Therefore," in other words, saying, based on the fact that it's not just what you do, it's your very thoughts, it's your very heart and your intent.
Therefore, if you come to God, if you come to church, and you want to relate to God, you want to have this relationship with God, you want to connect with God, and you want to receive from God, and in your mind, your heart, you realize that you have not reconciled an issue with a brother or sister in Christ, or a brother and sister, period, another person, right? Because he'll define neighbor— it's everyone.
Leave your gift. Before you can go here, you need to take care of what's here. It's what God's Word teaches. And so that's why we're taking a close look at this step, because it's what the Bible says we need to do.
It's what the Bible says we need to do, which is interesting that this is what these guys found that works. It absolutely positively works. People can testify to that regard.
So let's kind of look at the different parts of this. The first part is we made a list of all persons that we had harmed. I just want to look at that first part because it's really important to do that before the second part, because if you look at the whole thing, where it's going to go will stop you dead in your tracks before you get started.
So let's just look at the first part. First of all, let me define the word harm. Actually, I'm going to let the 12 steps and 12 traditions define it. It says to define the word harm in a practical way, we might call it the result of instincts in collision, when our natural instinct collides with another person, which causes physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual damage to people.
Which is interesting because this is really when Jesus— if you go back and read all of chapter 5, this is what he'll say. He'll basically say, you have heard it said— and he'll say this, there's this high standard of adultery, right? But I tell you, if emotionally you're cheating on your wife or your husband— and Jesus says it's so much more than just the big thing. It's actually just as damaging are all the little, little things.
That is what it means to cause harm. Now, you're going to— let me just tell you, I'm assuming everyone in here is human, okay? If you're human, you're going to have natural defenses that come up, all right? And I want to speak to those really quickly. I'll speak to them actually several times, but here's a quote out of 12 Step Sponsorship. It says this:
"But now it's time to admit our faults, mistakes, and our character defects, not only to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, but also to the very individual we have harmed."
Can you feel the wall coming up? But listen, only in that way can we find freedom. There is no other way to put the guilt and the shame of the past behind us and ensure that we will not behave that way again.
So I want to be as clear as I possibly can, especially if you're new to church, okay? I am not telling you— I don't think Jesus gives us the standard to make us feel more guilty and to be more shamed. Jesus knows we're guilty. We know we're guilty. The Bible's clear that we're guilty. Duh. Jesus didn't have to come for us to understand we're guilty.
Quite frankly, the Ten Commandments, the other 617 laws in the Old Testament make it pretty clear, right? Jesus came to set us free. And in essence, this step— this step is about your freedom. It's about the fact that there are things in our lives where we're stuck.
We're still chained to it because we haven't dealt with the shame and guilt. That's different than feeling shame and guilt. It's dealing with the shame and guilt that allows us to be free. All right?
So, let's focus on this list. To make a list, there's in wonderful 12-step fashion, you actually write it out. There's columns. It's very methodical. All right? The first column is you write down the name of the person. It's pretty straightforward. If you did a longer version of the step four, whether it was a weekly version or the lifelong version, obviously anyone on that list that you've harmed goes into that name list.
Yes, this is a long list. It takes a long time. You're right. You add the names of anyone that you might have overlooked or forgotten, or maybe it's been a while since you did step four and it's been a week or two, and now you have a couple more people to add to the list.
If you're anything like me, some of you have a list just from this morning. And I would just encourage you— this is what I would encourage you to do. Don't get caught up. It could be easy because, again, you're human, I'm assuming.
It could be easy to come here and go, "I don't know why he's preaching the 12-step program to all those folks. I mean, it's Sunday morning. I've got to be in church, but I'll be glad when he's done with this because it's for those."
And I would just caution you. I would just slow you down because, first of all, this isn't the 12-step program. This is God's biblical program. And second of all, even if you're not doing the lifelong thing, like I said, I bet you could sit here if you're honest right now and think of a good number of folks that were harmed just this week.
So just start there. This doesn't have to be some big dramatic thing. It may be. It may be, you know, you have a lifelong list of stuff, which all of us do, but it might be just, okay, so start with a sweep. Start with a sweep. So what are the names of the people?
And then what is the relationship? Okay, are they your employer? Is it a relationship? Is it a neighbor? What is the relationship? Now, again, I'm going to quickly— I'm going to go through this real quickly. There are some initial things. As soon as you start this, your humanity is going to just kind of poke its head up and go, "Uh-uh. No way," right?
And I want to address that real quickly, okay? So really quickly, some questions and answers, because you're going to have these things just kind of rapid fire as you do this process, all right? Most of this comes from 12-step sponsorships, so this isn't my own brainchild.
Question one: Do I have to list everybody I've ever harmed? Really, everybody? Okay, now, this could depend on— if you're going through the whole program, and you've got some big issues, yes. If you're just looking at the week, then I would say yes for this week, whatever time period you're looking at, and list those you can remember that were significant, but don't be obsessive about it.
So you don't have to think, "Okay, I'm sure on the playground when in the second grade, I pushed some girls. What were their names?" Okay, I'm not— you don't have to get too nitty-gritty, but I can tell you this: if you sit down in the quietness, you ask the Lord to reveal stuff, anything that comes to you, you're going to have to list.
So if you're going through the whole program, you should go down. That doesn't mean you have to use a strainer for everything, but it means that if you can think about it, it should go down. It should go down.
Second question: What if I don't know where they are now? Answer: It doesn't matter. This is a list of people you've harmed, not a list of people you've harmed that you can get in touch with easily. Okay? Just write their name down.
What if they hurt me more than I hurt them? Yeah, I already had that one come up in my mind. If you've harmed them, their names belong on the list. It doesn't matter whether or not they have harmed you. The list doesn't ask that question. It's just anyone you've harmed, whether your deal is 2% or 98%, doesn't matter.
What if I don't want to make amends to them or don't deserve it? See, now this is where my mind's going. I'm already going to where I have to go with this list, so I want to make sure their name doesn't show up in the first place so I don't have to deal with it.
The interesting thing is those are the areas that you're stuck. Those are the most important names to have on the list. Put their names on the list anyway. The first part of the step is to make a list of all those you've harmed.
The second part of the step comes after you've made the list. I want to just encourage you— this is true with all this that we've said. A lot of this, we overwhelm ourselves because we're here and we look at where we need to be, and we're like, "I'll never be there."
And that's the wrong approach. Our job is to look at the next step. In this step, in this case, the half step. And you take the half step, and once you've made the half step, then you worry about the next step.
Okay? Next question: What if I did or said something that was very bad to a blind date and I never saw that person again? Right? If you remember the incident and harm was done, include the person's name on the list, period.
What if I remember what happened but not the name and the person I've harmed? Then just list the incident and describe it. What if I will get in serious trouble if I make an amend? Like I broke a law or something.
This is about making a list of those you have harmed and becoming willing to make the amends to them all. This is just the list. It is the ninth step that you will consider the type of amend that needs to be made. At this point, you don't consider, right? Because this is just like the moral inventory. At this point, it's between you and God. It's nobody else.
And then in the ninth step— and we'll talk about this next week— when you do, when you don't, how you discern that. But for right now, just it goes on the list. 12-step sponsorship kind of sums up this whole wrestling this way. It says, "Our objective is to stay focused on the goal and not use our fear of making amends as an excuse for omitting someone's name from the list, especially since the names that you most likely want to omit from the list are probably the biggest names that you have to address. And you just will remain stuck until you do."
And I'm not— I know preachers preach. I'm not preaching, okay? I'm just sharing with you my experience and plus experiences of literally thousands of people who have done this. Hundreds of thousands of people have done this, which tell you the same thing. It's just personal experience.
All right, the next column that you list is the nature of the harm. What was your behavior and how did it hurt the other person? And you can put this any way that you like. For instance, if it was Jack, your employer, you just say, "Okay, I took a thousand dollars."
And you might even be tempted— this is what I would do. I'd say, "Well, I borrowed a thousand dollars, and it's just been a long time since I haven't returned it." Or I try to control— or for me, here's a weekly one. If I did a weekly thing, somewhere on the list, almost always, one of my kids would show up where I spoke harshly to them, okay?
Now, I'm dad. I need to correct, but that's different than speaking harshly in reaction. So that's what I put in that thing. I spoke harshly to whatever child it was, or in some cases, all of them, all right?
The fourth column then is then you put down the character defects that caused the harm. What are the character defects that caused the harm? Very specific about what it is. Because part of this is to have God renew and to change our character and to get rid of these character defects.
And if you don't name the chain, remember, you can't be freed from it. So that's why we name the chain. So you might say, "I borrowed a thousand dollars, but I haven't returned it." But then you got to get clear. Okay, well, the real issue is I was dishonest and greedy, right?
I try to control my niece, relish in grandiosity, or in my case with my kids, I might say, you know what? I spoke harshly to them, but it was really— you know, at the moment it was about— it was about them. I, you know, I didn't want them to speak that way to them or speak to their mother. I was just protecting mom.
But then sometimes I have to be honest, but wait, in the moment, it really wasn't about my bride. It was really about the fact that my pride and I was angry, and I spoke out of that rather than another place that I should have spoke out.
So what's the character defect that caused the harm? And then the last column— this could be the toughest one— is, am I willing to forgive the other person? And you could put yes or no, but quite frankly, you can't move ahead until you put yes— until you're willing to put yes, all right?
And this is really, really hard. And again, those who have been through this know this. They've written about it. The 12 by 12 says this: "The moment we ponder a twisted or broken relationship with another person, our emotions go on the defensive." That's that thing.
Emotions go on the defensive. To escape looking at the wrongs we have done another, we resentfully focus on the wrong he has done to us. And I can just guarantee you, as parents, it is easy to go through a whole life of a child who has done something wrong to you.
And I can just guarantee you, and ever go back to them and truly admit your wrongs, because it's so easy. I mean, they do do wrong. They do dumb stuff. And it's our job to correct them. But sometimes we hide behind that curtain.
Of course, when I say we, I'm really talking about me, right? Sometimes I hide behind that curtain. And it's important that I don't use that as an excuse. Because that really is not just harming them, it's harming me as well.
12 Step Sponsorship says this: "If we're going to ask forgiveness of others, we must be willing to offer it ourselves." So we look back at those who have harmed us and whom we have harmed in return, and we forgive them. We forgive them no matter what they have done to us. We forgive them so that what? We can be free.
We forgive them so we can be free. The interesting thing is— and we know this when we see it in other people. They're not really harming that person they can't forgive. They're harming themselves. We know that. But somehow when it's us, we don't see it.
We don't see it. If I forgive them, then they might feel like what they did was okay. And they need to be punished that, quite frankly, for the rest of their lives. It's not okay. But in reality, it's chained me down. It's kept me from being free.
And, of course, this is not a recovery program idea. This is a Bible idea. Colossians 3:13 says this: "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."
The interesting thing is God initiated it. He's asking us to follow his example, not something he wouldn't do himself. I forgave you. That's what the cross is about, right? The cross and the resurrection is our example of how much God loves us.
He laid his life down for us when we were his enemies, the Bible says. Not when we all of a sudden got good. When we were his enemies, he gave his son for us. He rose to a new life so that we also can have a new life, but we've got to take hold of that life by forgiving others.
Jesus himself, by the way, makes it even more emphatic. You might want to write down in the margin Matthew 6:14 and 15. Matthew 6:14 and 15. And Jesus says— his own words were, "If you forgive, you'll be forgiven. If you don't forgive, you won't be forgiven." You won't be forgiven. That's Jesus.
But again, I think it's not so much like this standard of God saying, "If you don't do this, if you don't, then I'm going to." I don't think it's that at all. I think it's that God cares so much. He understands that we're stuck here.
Again, 12 Step Sponsorship says it this way. It says, "We are enslaved by our resentments, by our unforgiveness, but we're freed by our loves. When we can forgive, we convert slavery into freedom."
I truly believe that is the heart of God. He wants us to be free. And of course, it's important to point out here that sometimes— you know, let's say you do this list, and at the end, you're like, "No, I just can't forgive." You know what? At that point, you're okay.
As long as you're willing to go, the answer is no, and go to God and say, "I need you to change that answer." We talk about this all the time, right? We talk about the clenched fist, whatever it is. If that unforgiveness— if you hold it back here, God won't touch it.
Now, He may allow your life to fester, and that to continue to bug you, so that you're willing to get it out here, but He won't force it. But He will take a clenched fist. If you'll hold it up and say, "All right, God, I know you need this. I know I'm supposed to forgive, but I don't want to, and I need your help." He'll take that.
Because you know why? That's why the cross was important. That's what's different about the God that we serve. God says, "You know what? I understand. I understand. I understand. I understand. You can't do it. I understand you're not holy enough, and I understand your best effort's going to come up short, so I did for you what you could not do.
And now, by the power of the resurrection, which resides in you, I can begin to work in you. I working in you, not you working. I working in you to allow you to do the things that you could not do, so just put that fist out there and say, 'I need your help.'"
And I cannot overemphasize how this idea— this is about God's love.
So yesterday, we had some time as a family. It's one of those great things about a three-day holiday is our kids don't have practices and all this stuff. So any of you who've had teenagers, you know how hectic it gets, and weekends are the roughest.
And so everyone was home. So we decided we want to do something together as a family, right? Now, again, any of you know teenagers knows how this goes, right? So we tell our kids, "We're going to go," and in this case, we went to Casa de Fruta, right?
If it's not like Great America, then you automatically go, "Oh, right? We're going to go where? A fruit stand?" You know, and so they don't want to go, right? They want to play their video game. They want to do their texting. They want to do their picture editing, whatever, all these things that they're doing at the moment, they don't want to go.
And of course, by God's grace, Lynn and I are like, "Well, this is what we're going to do. You don't have a choice." So everybody in the car. Yeah. And so, and then of course, as almost always happens, right? They have a blast, and somewhere towards the end, they're like, "Man, this was great."
Right? Here's the deal, you guys. We're the kids. See, there are areas in our lives that we're holding on tightly, as tightly as my son was holding on his little Xbox controller. And we're like, "But this is what I know. This feels good."
That's hard because you don't have to do— first of all, I have to stop doing what I'm doing, where I'm getting something— where I'm getting some satisfaction from. Second of all, I got to get in the car with my other brothers and sisters, which we all know how that goes.
Then we got to sit in Memorial Day traffic, which is boring, right? Now, once we get there and get going, it's better than the video game. Now, they would never admit that to us now, but we see it and we know it.
But they would never experience it if they didn't get— and here's the deal. It is hard to make this list. It is hard to think of the wrongs that we have done. It is even harder to go to that person, especially if they harm me, and to say, "I'm sorry, will you forgive me?"
That is hard stuff. But you never get to the beauty of the life that God would have you live unless you do that. Unless you do that, unless you trust the Father.
So we come to the second part of this, right? We make a list of those we've hurt. We make a list of those we've hurt. We make a list of those we've hurt. And then we become willing to make amends to them all.
So let me just quickly define two words here. First of all, amends. Big Book puts it this way: "Now we go out to our fellows and we repair the damage done in the past." An amend is simply asking for forgiveness and, as much as you can, repairing the damage that's done in the past.
That's what it means to make amends. In terms of willingness, this 12-step sponsorship says it this way: "Once the list is complete, we face the major challenge of the step. Are we willing?"
Now, that's the key word there. This is about willingness at this point. Are we willing to make the amends to all these people regardless of the personal cost? Only when we can answer yes has this step been taken.
I guess you could even add another column in that says, "Now am I willing? Am I willing to make amends?" And you can go down that list. And what you'll find is, 99 out of 100— if it was one week, 9 out of 10— yes, there's that one.
And that's where God is going to have to come in and do in and through you. That's where prayer comes in. But I would remind you of Matthew 5. If you're offering your gift to the altar and remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother. Then come. Come and offer your gift.
See, the initial issue is, God says, before we can really address here, you've got to address there. But I want you to understand that the long-range issue isn't, "I'm not going to hear you because you're not obeying."
Okay? Now, in His discipline, sometimes that's the case. But that's not the issue. The issue for God is, you cannot experience the life that I have for you. You can't experience the depth of my forgiveness, the depth of my love, the depth of how much I care about you until you deal with issues of reconciliation.
And so, let me just tell you, especially for those of you who've been believers a long time and you feel distant from God. Many times, it's not God's issue. It's our issue. It's not that God didn't show up. It's just that these little steps where we say, "I believe in you," that He asks us to take, we're just not taking.
We're playing church. And we're not really being what God has called us to be. And again, it's not about His punishment. He took care of the punishment on the cross. But it is about life. New life, right?
For those of you who've been doing the daily soap, that's what we read about in Romans this week, right? The old self has passed away. Now we don't present— now we have a choice not to give ourselves up to our old selfish desires, but to give up to the spirit who brings life, true life.
That is what this is about. The big book says it this way: "At the moment, we're trying to put our lives in order, but this is not the end in itself." Notice that's not the goal. It's not just about not drinking or not doing drugs or not being angry or not overeating. That's not really what it's about.
Notice what the big book says it's about. "Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people around us." That's true living.
So let me— I want to paint a picture for you of what I think is a radical way for followers of Christ to live. And again, I think it may surprise you. So I'm going to title this part, "Dealing with Copper Nails."
In the early 1900s, the church was a church that was a church that was a church that was a pastor. True. Dr. F.E. Marsh. And he preached on this question. He wasn't preaching through the 12 steps. He just preached on God's word and impressed upon his church the importance of confession of sin and, wherever possible, making restitution for wrongdoing.
Now, at the close of his message, like often happens, a young man came up, a member of the church, and he came up and he was— you could tell something was going on. He was troubled. And he said, "Pastor, you've put me in a sad, sad place."
And he said, "Pastor, fix— I've wronged another and I'm ashamed to confess it or to try to put it right." You see, he says, "I'm a boat builder, and the man I work for is an unbeliever. He doesn't follow Jesus. I've talked to him often about his need of Christ and urged him to come and hear you preach. And he scoffs and ridicules me all the time."
Now I have been guilty of something that if I should acknowledge it to him will ruin my testimony forever. Does that sound familiar? Yeah, a little too close to home for me.
He then went on to say that some time ago, he started to build a boat for himself. Now, when you're building a boat, you use copper nails because these don't rust in the water, but these nails are quite expensive.
And so the young man had been carrying home quantities of them from the job site. Now he knew it was stealing, but he kind of told himself— he eased his conscience by telling himself that, first of all, the master had so many, he wouldn't miss them.
And second of all, you know, he wasn't really getting paid what he was worth anyhow. Again, sound familiar? But the message that day with the Holy Spirit spoken to his heart had brought him face to face with the fact that he was just a common thief and those were dishonest actions and there was no excuse.
Then he said to the pastor, "But I can't go to my boss and tell him what I've done or to offer to pay for those I've used and return the rest. If I do, he will think I'm just a hypocrite."
And yet he says, "Those copper nails are digging into my conscience, and I know I shall never have peace until I put the matter right." For weeks, weeks, this young man struggled with this.
Then one night— because there's no texting, no email, so he has to show up at the pastor's house. All right? So one night he came to Dr. Marsh and he exclaimed, "Pastor, I've settled for the copper nails and my conscience is released. Believed at last."
Then the pastor says, "Well, what happened when you confessed to your employer what you'd done?" Oh, the young guy said, "He looked queerly at me. Then he exclaimed, 'George, I always did think that you were just a hypocrite. But now,' he said, 'I began to feel there's something in this Christianity after all. Any religion,' he said, 'that would be a hypocrite, would make a dishonest workman come back and confess that he had been stealing copper nails and offer to settle for them must be worth having.'"
Yes. Here's— I believe this with all my heart, church. I think we have the wrong vision. I think we have the wrong vision of what the world needs of Jesus. For some reason, we have fallen for, you know what? What the world needs to see is that we're morally upstanding people who have our lives together.
And if they see that, they'll all want— here's the deal. The Jews tried that for a long time. It didn't work. It didn't work. You know what the world sees when they see moral, upstanding, perfect people? Not anyone like them.
And then every little crack they point out. Why? Because no one wants to feel like they're inferior to anyone else. However, I do think when Jesus said, "They'll know you're my disciples," he didn't say by your moral upstanding. He didn't say by your religious conservative views.
No. They'll know you're my disciples, what? By your love for one another. By the fact that you lay down your life for me and for others.
Jesus talks about this radical way of life in Luke 6:27-30. And Eugene Peterson rewords these verses in this way. He says this: "To you who are ready for the truth, I say this: Love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer for that person. If someone slaps you in the face, stand there and take it. If someone grabs your shirt, gift wrap your best coat and make a present of it. If someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously."
And the next verse you guys are familiar with: "Do to others as you would have them do to you." This is Jesus' revolution. It's a revolution of the heart. It's a revolution of freedom.
If you really want to be Jesus to the world, then begin to do reconciliation. Begin to admit that you're just as broken as the next guy. But do what others aren't willing to do. Restore a relationship. Ask for forgiveness. And do what's right.
We need to begin to take care of the copper nails in our lives. It is God's radical call for us, church. We need to take care of the copper nails in our life.
Now, I'll point out this— at this point, it's just a matter of getting straight where the copper nails are and becoming willing to do it. Next week, we'll talk about the how— when you do this, how you do this, if you do this.
Don't worry about that at this juncture. I would encourage you, especially as we enter into these next few worship songs, just clear— just— what is it, God? And help me move to willingness.
Pray with me, would you?
Father, I thank you, God, that though you are full aware of the copper nails in our life, you're full of— aware of your God of those areas of life that, quite frankly, we are just plum ashamed of.
And it was at our worst, your God, it was at our worst that you gave your best. You've already modeled this to God. You didn't wait for us to come to you. You came to us, even unto death on the cross.
And then you rose from the dead to show not only that you have the power, but there's power that now lives in us through the Holy Spirit that can help us change too. We pray for that change, Lord. We pray for that vision even now as we praise you.
Dear God, as we sing to you, stir in us, your God, your vision of radical love, of repentance, of reconciliation. You do the work in us that we cannot do ourselves. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen.
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on Jan 29, 2025
