Reclaiming Our Lives: The Spiritual Cost of Screens

In today's world, screens have become an integral part of our lives, but they also pose significant challenges to our spiritual and mental well-being. The question we must ask ourselves is whether our screens are controlling us, stealing our souls, and ruining our relationships. As we delve into this topic, it's crucial to recognize the impact of media consumption on our lives, especially for teenagers who spend an alarming amount of time on social media. This excessive screen time has been linked to increased anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. The statistics are staggering, with a significant rise in mental health disorders since the advent of smartphones and social media.

The brain, particularly the developing brain of children and young adults, is highly susceptible to the influences of media. The child brain can be easily manipulated, leading to addictions and distractions. It's essential to guide our children from a child brain to a fully functioning adult brain, where they can make informed decisions and resist temptations. This transition requires teaching them the power of saying "no" and setting boundaries.

Moreover, the family dynamic is being disrupted by screens, with many parents acknowledging that smartphones negatively impact family life. The holiday season often exacerbates these issues, as parents feel pressured to provide expensive devices that may lead to further division and conflict within the home. The statistics on teen girls and suicide attempts are particularly alarming, highlighting the urgent need for intervention and awareness.

While technology itself is not inherently evil, screen addiction is a growing concern. It's crucial to have hard conversations about addiction and make conscious choices about our media consumption. The concept of "pick your hard" reminds us that while certain choices may be difficult, they are necessary for a healthier, more fulfilling life. Whether it's marriage, health, or financial stability, we must choose the path of discipline over regret.

Ultimately, we must evaluate whether our use of screens aligns with our spiritual values. Are we allowing screens to become idols in our lives, taking precedence over our relationship with God? By prioritizing scripture and community over screens, we can regain control and find true fulfillment. Let us have the courage to lay down our idols and seek a deeper connection with Christ.

**Key Takeaways:**

1. **The Impact of Screens on Mental Health:** Excessive screen time, especially among teenagers, has been linked to a significant increase in mental health disorders such as anxiety, depression, and ADHD. It's crucial to recognize the impact of media consumption on our well-being and take steps to mitigate its effects. [38:52]

2. **Transitioning from Child Brain to Adult Brain:** The developing brain is highly susceptible to media influences, leading to addictions and distractions. Teaching children the power of saying "no" and setting boundaries is essential for guiding them toward a fully functioning adult brain. [41:01]

3. **The Family Dynamic and Screen Addiction:** Screens are disrupting family life, with many parents acknowledging the negative impact of smartphones. It's important to have hard conversations about screen addiction and make conscious choices to prioritize family relationships over media consumption. [51:56]

4. **Choosing Discipline Over Regret:** The concept of "pick your hard" reminds us that while certain choices may be difficult, they are necessary for a healthier, more fulfilling life. Whether it's marriage, health, or financial stability, we must choose the path of discipline over regret. [56:45]

5. **Aligning Screen Use with Spiritual Values:** We must evaluate whether our use of screens aligns with our spiritual values. Are we allowing screens to become idols in our lives, taking precedence over our relationship with God? By prioritizing scripture and community, we can regain control and find true fulfillment. [01:09:25]

**Youtube Chapters:**

- [00:00] - Welcome
- [35:01] - Introduction: Screens and Souls
- [35:35] - Media Consumption and Its Effects
- [37:51] - Impact on Teenagers
- [38:52] - Mental Health Statistics
- [40:01] - Brain Development and Media
- [41:01] - Child Brain vs. Adult Brain
- [41:55] - Parenting Challenges
- [43:43] - Alarming Teen Statistics
- [44:33] - Online Safety Concerns
- [45:54] - The Dark Side of Data Selling
- [46:48] - Screen Addiction in Children
- [48:28] - Academic and Emotional Impact
- [51:13] - The Struggle of Young Men
- [51:56] - Parental Concerns and School Policies
- [53:55] - The Role of Screens in Our Lives
- [56:14] - Choosing Discipline Over Regret
- [59:25] - Making Better Decisions
- [01:04:40] - Finding Peace and Solitude
- [01:09:25] - Spiritual Reflection and Call to Action

**Bible Study Discussion Guide**

**Bible Reading:**
1. Psalm 101:3 - "I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless."
2. Romans 12:2 - "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."
3. Philippians 4:8 - "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

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**Observation Questions:**

1. According to the sermon, what are some of the mental health issues linked to excessive screen time, especially among teenagers? [38:52]

2. How does the sermon describe the difference between a "child brain" and an "adult brain"? What role does the word "no" play in this transition? [41:01]

3. What are some of the statistics mentioned in the sermon regarding the impact of screens on family dynamics and mental health? [51:56]

4. How does the sermon illustrate the concept of "pick your hard" in relation to screen addiction and other life choices? [56:45]

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**Interpretation Questions:**

1. How might Psalm 101:3 relate to the sermon’s discussion on the content we consume through screens? What does it mean to set "worthless things" before our eyes?

2. In what ways does Romans 12:2 challenge us to think about our media consumption and its influence on our minds? [01:09:25]

3. How does the sermon suggest that screen time can become an idol in our lives, and how does this relate to the first commandment? [59:25]

4. What are the potential consequences of not transitioning from a "child brain" to an "adult brain" as discussed in the sermon? How does this relate to the ability to make informed decisions? [41:01]

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**Application Questions:**

1. Reflect on your own screen time habits. Are there specific areas where you feel screens might be controlling your life or affecting your relationships? What steps can you take to address this? [35:01]

2. Consider the concept of "pick your hard." What is one difficult choice you can make this week to prioritize discipline over regret in your media consumption? [56:45]

3. How can you incorporate more of Philippians 4:8 into your daily media habits? What practical steps can you take to focus on what is true, noble, and pure? [01:09:25]

4. Discuss with your family or friends the impact of screens on your relationships. What are some boundaries you can set together to ensure screens do not disrupt your family dynamic? [51:56]

5. Identify one way you can replace screen time with scripture or community engagement this week. How can this change positively impact your spiritual life? [01:09:25]

6. Think about a time when you felt anxious or lonely due to screen use. How can you seek peace and solitude in those moments instead? What role can community play in this process? [01:04:40]

7. How can you encourage others in your community to have hard conversations about screen addiction and its impact? What support can you offer to those struggling with this issue? [01:10:31]

Day 1: The Influence of Screens on Mental Health
In today's digital age, screens have become a ubiquitous part of our lives, especially for teenagers. The excessive time spent on social media and other digital platforms has been linked to a significant rise in mental health disorders such as anxiety, depression, and ADHD. The statistics are alarming, showing a marked increase in these issues since the advent of smartphones and social media. It's crucial to recognize the impact of media consumption on our well-being and take proactive steps to mitigate its effects. By understanding the correlation between screen time and mental health, we can begin to make informed choices that prioritize our mental and spiritual health. [38:52]

"For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot." (Romans 8:7, ESV)

Reflection: How can you intentionally reduce your screen time this week to prioritize your mental health and spiritual growth?


Day 2: Guiding the Transition from Child Brain to Adult Brain
The developing brain of children and young adults is highly susceptible to the influences of media, leading to potential addictions and distractions. It's essential to guide our children from a child brain to a fully functioning adult brain, where they can make informed decisions and resist temptations. This transition requires teaching them the power of saying "no" and setting boundaries. By instilling these values, we help them develop the ability to discern and choose wisely in a world full of digital temptations. [41:01]

"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6, ESV)

Reflection: What boundaries can you set for yourself and your family to foster healthier media consumption habits?


Day 3: Restoring Family Dynamics Amidst Screen Addiction
Screens are increasingly disrupting family life, with many parents acknowledging the negative impact of smartphones on their relationships. The holiday season often exacerbates these issues, as parents feel pressured to provide expensive devices that may lead to further division and conflict within the home. It's important to have hard conversations about screen addiction and make conscious choices to prioritize family relationships over media consumption. By doing so, we can restore the family dynamic and create a nurturing environment for growth and connection. [51:56]

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward." (Psalm 127:3, ESV)

Reflection: How can you create a screen-free time or activity this week to strengthen your family relationships?


Day 4: Embracing Discipline Over Regret
The concept of "pick your hard" reminds us that while certain choices may be difficult, they are necessary for a healthier, more fulfilling life. Whether it's in marriage, health, or financial stability, we must choose the path of discipline over regret. By embracing discipline, we align our actions with our long-term goals and values, leading to a more purposeful and content life. This principle applies to our media consumption as well, where disciplined choices can lead to greater spiritual and emotional well-being. [56:45]

"Discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness; for bodily discipline is only of little profit, but godliness is profitable for all things, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come." (1 Timothy 4:7-8, ESV)

Reflection: What is one area of your life where you can practice more discipline to align with your spiritual values?


Day 5: Aligning Screen Use with Spiritual Values
In our digital age, it's essential to evaluate whether our use of screens aligns with our spiritual values. Are we allowing screens to become idols in our lives, taking precedence over our relationship with God? By prioritizing scripture and community over screens, we can regain control and find true fulfillment. Let us have the courage to lay down our idols and seek a deeper connection with Christ, ensuring that our digital habits reflect our commitment to our faith. [01:09:25]

"Little children, keep yourselves from idols." (1 John 5:21, ESV)

Reflection: What steps can you take today to ensure that your screen time reflects your commitment to your spiritual values?

Thank you. Good deal. Please have a seat. Hi, my name is Dwight and I'm a sinner.

So some of you have maybe been in 12-step, and when somebody outs themselves, then you say their name. So it's a greeting, right? So we'll try it again. Hi, my name is Dwight. I'm a sinner.

Now, hey, listen. And this is pretty simple. You can just turn to somebody next to you and say, "You're a sinner too." I mean, just try that. Just try that.

All right. Green is on. There we go.

So the question I'm going to ask you as we start: could a screen be stealing your soul and ruining your relationships? Because today, that's right, Pastor Terry, we're going there.

I'm sure some of you are saying, "He's not going to go there." I'm going to go there, right? Because the idea is, is it possible that a remote control controls your soul? Did you know that Americans, even church-going folk, can sometimes get caught up with everything that's happening on a screen? And I want you to know that. That's me.

And I would just, I mean, every day, every day I would, you know, catch the morning news because I wanted to know what was going on in the world. And, you know, Good Morning America and CBS and Today Show. And my wife would say, "Why do you watch that every day?"

Now, Anita, what I should have said, because that's what a thinking husband, I should have said, "Because, baby, I'm going to go on Jeopardy and win us some money." I mean, that's what I should have said. Instead, I said, "I need to know what's going on in the world." She said, "Why?" Hate that question.

And I said, "Well, because you need to know. Inquiring minds want to know." And she said, "Do you really need to know that there was an earthquake somewhere in a country you can't pronounce or find on a map?"

Well, married the wrong woman this time. I mean, let's just see what happens.

Is it possible that our choices of media are hurting us? As a clinical behavioral scientist working in the field for 30 years, we're going to cover a lot of science. And so the big thing I want you to know, we're going to cover a lot. I'm going to share with you different age groups, what happens to our brain with media.

Take a nostril breath, smell flowers, blow out the candle. Just take what you need. Because we're going to cover a lot. And if you're old enough to remember, before technology, lucky you, come and listen to a story about a man named Jed, a poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed, and then one day, right.

So if you're old enough to even know what the heck is this guy doing, you understand black and white television. It's like, what? Media has changed. And in my lifetime, over six decades, there's been a greater change in media, and it's just media, right? No, it can be used for good, like those that are watching right now online. Thanks for watching. Or it can be used for evil, and it can be absolutely used to control your mind.

So as we take a look, let's focus first on teenagers. Teenagers are spending nearly five hours a day on just social media. When you count other forms of media, it's almost nine hours a day. You say, "Dwight, when do they sleep?" That's the problem, they don't.

And did you know the only time that your bones grow, so that you get the height that God designed you for, is when you're getting deep sleep? I say that because whenever teenagers say, "I don't need sleep," and I've done this dozens and dozens and maybe more than a hundred times to ask teenagers, guys or gals, "Do you want to be taller in your life or shorter?" Never has somebody said, "I want to be short."

I don't know all the reasons why. Maybe we live in a tall culture, but I know this: the only time your bones grow is when you're getting deep sleep. What happens if you don't get deep sleep? Your brain and your body suffer. Who designed us to need sleep? That would be Father God.

So when we look at, for teenagers, what happens since the advent of smartphones, particularly 2010, and you'll see this is just since 2010 with smartphones and social media apps. When you take a look at it, anxiety has gone up, and this is, by the way, for teens and under age 25. Anxiety.

Diabetes disorders have gone up 134%. Depression has gone up 106%. ADHD, 72%. Bipolar, anorexia, substance abuse, schizophrenia. Everything has gone up dramatically because of screens, because of small screens, because of these screens.

And you think, well, what happened? Because these screens can be used to control. Everything that goes into our eyes is absorbed into our brain. And when you and I put in purity, what do you get out? Put purity in, get purity out. What if we put in impurity? What do you get out? Impurity. What if you put in hours and hours and hours of news media? What do you get? Not a chance to go on Jeopardy. I auditioned once, didn't make the first cut. Apparently, knowing everything that's happening in the news was just a waste of time.

All right, so when I take a look at this, Yahoo.com reports, and you'll see social media use is linked to brain changes. All right, so here's a big takeaway. Child brain, teen brain, actually under the age of 25. I say under 25, Terry. The research tells us that by age 25, a female brain is fully developed. By age 25, do you think a guy's brain is fully developed? It's about age 30, but there may be some exceptions with us today.

It's like, "Dwight, I mean, he's 51. I don't think we're there yet," right? Child brain, adult brain. Now, here's where I want you to see the difference. Because a child brain can be manipulated and controlled very fast. An adult brain can say, "I think it's time to go to bed." It's time to go to bed. A child brain, you can keep tempting a child brain, and the child brain will keep giving into temptation. It fuels addictions.

When we're in our child brain, we can be addicted and tempted and distracted and destroyed. You say, "Can media destroy people?" Oh, yes. It leads them down the wrong path. I want to get you into your fully functioning adult brain, where you're able to think.

And one of the big differences between these, and this is going to shock some people, Terry, I expect people probably to get up right now, because when you're teaching your children, the most important word that they need to know to go from this brain to this brain, what's the word? No.

Now, and I know that we live in a day and an age where psychology says you never tell your child no. It's like, you know, "Mom, can I borrow the car?" Well, if you say no, you hurt their feelings. Oh, my gosh. And if you hurt their feelings, they're going to go on Oprah one day, and they're going to say, "What a bad mom you were." You don't want that.

To be able to say no helps that child brain learn how to adjust and move into an adult brain. So as we move forward, 70% of parents believe smartphones negatively impact family life. 55% of parents say their child's phone is the source of big arguments. Half of parents say, "This is our biggest fight."

Oh, yeah. And the holiday season is coming when we're recording this. Do you think that some parents will make a big sacrifice to be able to get a $1,000 device that creates division in their home? Well, yeah. Because I don't want her to be the only kid at school that doesn't have a $1,000 device to make her argue with me all the time, so I have a greater than likelihood chance of losing my daughter to suicide.

It's the most dangerous time in the history of females, according to the CDC. Let me give you some more data. 95% of teens use social media every day. 33% use it almost constantly. Adolescents who spend more than three hours a day on social media face double the risk of anxiety and depression. Again, that works out to just about five hours a day on those social media apps.

And what does it break down to? Just look at the bottom one. 13% of girls under the age of 25 this year have attempted suicide. Why? Because I'm not as pretty as the other people. And somebody says, "You should just kill yourself." And a child brain says, "Okay."

You say, "Dwight, that doesn't happen." 54% of teen girls right now, the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta is a reliable source. 54% of girls say, "I'm constantly sad" under the age of 25. 32% thought about it. 24% planned. 13% this year tried. Greatest likelihood you'll go to your daughter's funeral or one of her friends' funeral.

And one of her friends' funeral is this. You say, "Well, what else you got for us, Dwight? Because you kind of killed the mood." We're going to go down, then we're going to come back up.

Let's look at some really scary things, particularly for girls first. The selfie talk. Which of the girls, the one on the left or the one on the right, is the 11-year-old? Or is it the same girl? Same girl. Which one of those girls do you think that online predators are looking for? And on that one, the answer is both. Because a predator, a pedophile, will take either one. But it's the same girl.

The Dove company, not a Christian company, but they've aggressively gotten involved in saying, "We need to teach young women that beauty is not based on makeup, not based on all of these other things." And so there's the link for the self-esteem project. Kids online safety.

And I wanted to bring this up because it's scary. The research from Wall Street Journal, Stanford University, MIT, and Harvard said that Instagram was targeting, Instagram, Snapchat, WhatsApp, TikTok, were targeting girls younger than 25. And then they were selling data. Who were they selling the data to? That would be pedophiles, registered sex offenders, and people that were trafficking your daughter, your granddaughter.

And when they were called out for selling data, the people at Facebook and Instagram and TikTok said, "It's not illegal to sell data." And you know what they did? It's pretty interesting. Testifying in Congress, they said, "We didn't give them the phone. We don't give our children phones. We don't want our children to have a risk. You're bad parents." They parent-shamed instead of taking responsibility.

It's an election. $11 billion-a-year business of these big tech companies selling data so traffickers can get to your child, get to your grandchild. $11 billion a year? A year? That's actually a lot of money. Why? Because pedophiles will pay a lot of money to get direct access so they can direct message your child, your grandchild.

That should be enough alone to cause us to say, "I think I'm done here." Where does it lead to? Suicide. A group of parents have now said, "We're just going to sue these companies because our kid committed suicide because they were trafficked, because they were approached by pedophiles. And my son killed himself, so I guess all I can do is sue TikTok."

And I don't want to be on the back end of, "You're going to a funeral of your grandchild or your child." I want you to be more proactive. So the research is pretty clear. Childhood evaporates the second that they die. They get a phone with social media.

I want you to understand, I'm not against screens. I'm against screen addiction and people that use screens to manipulate and to control our children.

Oh yeah, what if I just get one of these for my grandchild, for my niece, my nephew, and I'm just going to give it to them as a babysitter? It guarantees mental problems for life. The younger they start with a screen, and the more time. The American Academy of Pediatrics says that for children younger than two, they need maybe 20 minutes a day of supervised time with a screen. You can learn a lot. I'm a big believer in Elmo. I think Elmo is real. You tell me otherwise, we're no longer friends, right?

You can learn a lot from a screen, or it can suck you into the darkness. And I work behind the scenes at Walt Disney World, and I've seen lots and lots and lots of people with a two-year-old or three-year-old or four-year-old with a tablet, and it seems like, you know, you're at the most magical place on Earth, you should maybe put down the screen, right?

Did you know little kids can get addicted to screens? Did you know adults can too? Look at this: 33% of parents say, "I have cried over how the screen was taking my child away." One-third of parents.

And when I take a look at this, 40% of college students, let's jump into 18, 19, 20, 21, 22. 40% of college students report being so depressed it's difficult to function. 60% say, "I can't function every day." What's happened to our country?

I'll give you one clue. Can this be used to make your life better? Sure. Can it be used to control you? Sure. But let's dig a little deeper, because when we look at this, the evidence links screen addiction to academic struggles and to mental problems: depression, anxiety, attention deficit disorder, and it certainly goes even deeper and deeper into suicidal thinking, and for a tiny percentage, it's a surge toward violence, school shooting.

You say, "Dwight, why do we allow this stuff?" Because we live in a culture that's addicted. 60 Minutes is special. We talked about girls, let's talk about boys. Do you think boys can be addicted to video games? Yes. Do you think it can lead to a lot of fights? Yes. The Surgeon General said it should come with a warning label.

It controls dopamine, it controls part of the child brain, and the brain. I'm going to out myself because I've played video games. Right? Played them when I was growing up, you know. I gave Ms. Pac-Man too much of my money, and she cheated on me because it did not work out.

It's like, I know why Pac-Man left you, girl, because all you want is my money. Doo-doo-doo-doo. And it was like, Ms. Pac-Man, again? I thought we had a thing going. I mean, but, so I played video games, and last year, the people with the phone service said, "We're going to give you a free video game." And I thought, "Let's see if Ms. Pac-Man still remembers me."

And I have a little timer thing, you probably do too on your phone. And I went, "Oh my gosh. I'm addicted to my phone." Right? So when we look at it, parents are exhausted trying to take back the game controller. All over the world, family life has become a fight over screen time. Parents are fed up, so what do you do? Do you keep fighting?

I'm a behavioral scientist. I just like to look at data. And when you look at data, every indicator for young people from birth to age 25 is down for those that are heavy users of technology. Pick a category: emotional stability, mental focus. What about test scores? What about confidence? What about the assertiveness to go and get a good job? Gone. Because that's what addiction does.

Can you be addicted to drugs and ruin your life? Yup. We're just talking about a different drug. And when I think about this, does it stop when they're 25? Or are there guys who are 30 and 35 and 40 and their girlfriend or their wife is saying, "When does he... Dwight, you keep talking about this adult brain. When does he get there?"

Because he's 40 and we're not there yet. And the research shows us particularly for young men, they get lost in their game. They're not as suicidal as the girls. They just give up on living life. That means no job, no relationship, no money. They don't buy a house. They don't get married. They don't have babies. "I don't want to grow up. I'm a Toys R Us kid." They just don't grow up.

And so what happens when they don't grow up? In the places we see where I call them late bloomer guys in their 40s and even 50s, they don't mature. The women move on and their life gets lost. But somebody still has to feed them.

So I want to take a look at this. Me trying to give advice to my teenager. I love that graphic. 84% of US adults worry about the effect of social media. 88% of parents think young people are too dependent. Two-thirds of parents say you should not allow these in schools.

And I'm happy to report to you as of right now, right now, when we're recording this, 17 states have banned those in school next year. Because the links are so abundantly clear. These are public schools, I mean, this is pretty interesting. Terry, California, not really known as a conservative place, Governor Newsom in California has banned those in school next year.

Because mental illness, and part of it, think about it, government has to pay for the people going to mental health clinics, and government has to pay for the cleanup of school shootings. And what if you could solve both of those by saying, "We're not going to allow these devices that hurt children in our schools." It's pretty radical.

Orange County Public Schools, Orange County where I live, next year, now you can have a flip phone; you can't get addicted to those.

So how can I tell if somebody's addicted? They can't stop, they make bad grades, they argue with parents, they sneak, they lie, they get, you know, deeper and deeper. But one of the biggest ones, how can I tell if somebody's addicted? They lie, except we use the word, deny.

"I'm not addicted," right? I did it when my wife said, "You're addicted to television news." "I'm not addicted, don't you dare take away my TV news. I got to know what's going on," right? You know, I watch CNN and Fox so I can figure out the truth is somewhere in between, or maybe I can just not watch it and get back a couple of hours a day of my life, right?

Now here's the point: video games are not evil; video game addiction is evil. Screens are not evil; screen addiction is evil. A screen can be a tool to help you be more effective at what you do.

So please hear, technology's not bad, technology's not evil, but when you go into that rabbit hole, you can be controlled. That's the piece I want to focus on. Because when a child acts like a child, well, that's what they do.

First Corinthians 13, so you've done thousands of weddings, and you know, we talk about the great love chapter, First Corinthians 13, and love is patient, and love is kind, but when you get to the end of the chapter, "When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I understood like a child. But when I became a man, when I grew up, when I matured, I put childish ways behind me."

And so what's a childish way? Letting our impulses, letting our desires control us, and you say, "Dwight, preach it." And the man, go after these kids, go after those guys addicted to video games and girls addicted to video games. Go after them. Man, preach to those young people, Dwight.

Did you know that men, it's like, "Don't take away, don't take away my Xbox, man, Dwight don't do that." Did you know that women? Oh my God. Oh my gosh. Now I'm in trouble, Farmville and Candy Crush. Did you know that women can spend a lot of time, right?

I love this. Adults can get addicted to screens. And maybe we should, maybe we should get those, right? It keeps me from looking at my screen. Now I got addicted to screens, right? Because these are called memes. They make you laugh, right?

I'll read it for those watching. "Chuck Norris admitted to using stunt doubles in his movies. But only for the crying parts," right? And how can I tell if I'm old? Fall down in front of a lot of people. If they laugh, if they laugh, you're still young. If they panic and start running to you, you're old. Not implying anything, PT, right?

And I would spend so much time, and when you look at a very popular gaming system, Roblox, right, over age 13, the majority of the people that use this online game are adults, young adults and adults, more than little guys and little gals.

So, Dwight, I get it, you've made your case, we should just bust the screen, right? No. No, we should bust addiction. We should have some hard conversations about addiction.

So, it's a concept, it's a concept called pick your hard. Here's how it works, it's pretty simple, right? Marriage is hard, it is. Divorce is hard, pick your hard. Sometimes, you know, people say, "You know, Dwight, you know, because I've been a counselor a long time, and occasionally I'll meet people and they'll say, 'You know what, I'm going to get divorced, it's going to solve all my problems.' You get divorced, it gives you new problems."

Well, no, this person's made me so irritated, I'm going to divorce them. This is so great. And then I'm going to go find a new person that irritates me. Oh, I made the wrong choice. I mean, I'm going to be like Hollywood, where they get married, divorced five times, and I'll get a new person, and then they'll irritate me when people say, "I want to be like the celebrities in Hollywood, Beverly Hills, that's where I want to be. Look at the lifestyles, zip code where you want to be."

If Hollywood was the happiest place, wouldn't they have happy relationships? You know, I have an interesting job, I get to meet interesting people, and a friend of mine is a celebrity psychologist in Beverly Hills, and I said, "You know, is it better to be a movie star or a TV star in Hollywood to kind of get the life you want?" And that's kind of the lane that she lives in.

She said, "The person you want to be in Beverly Hills is celebrity lawyers. Because you get the same client three, four, five times." Not kidding.

Marriage is hard, divorce is hard, pick your hard. Did you know that working out and eating clean is hard? Did you know that having an unhealthy body is hard? Pick your hard. Pastor Tim, budgeting and that Dave Ramsey stuff is hard. Right, yeah. And drowning in debt. Dying in debt is hard. Pick your hard.

What about people who say, "My boss sucks." Am I allowed to say sucks here? Okay. I grew up Baptist, and so my mama would have just washed my mouth out with soap. Don't tell my mom I said that, okay?

Not that she washed, she did wash my mouth out with soap way too many times. When soft soap came out, it made it so much easier for her. Don't tell her that.

So that, you know, anyway. So when somebody says, "My job sucks, my boss is terrible, unemployment's hard." Your job's hard, I know. Unemployment, living in your car, that's hard. I just want you to know, pick your hard.

And part of pick your hard, I love what Jim Rohn said, "We must all suffer from one of two pains, the pain of discipline or the pain of regret." And I don't want you to have any regrets. I just want to give you some tools.

When you're born, you look like your parents. When you're old, you look like your decisions. Pastor Crawford Lauritz, when he retired a couple years ago in Atlanta, I just love that quote, "You look like your decisions," right? So let's get you some better decisions.

Because 15 years ago, the internet was an escape. Today, let's get you to the real world, because when I think about this in the real world, shared Tara shared this with you earlier just broke my heart: the average American, when you look at, and then this is as of yesterday, they spend seven hours, seven minutes with some form of media, some form of screen.

That works out to 23.5 years of our life with an average American lifespan. Well, how much time do they spend in God's word? Yeah, I looked that up too. They spend about 56 minutes a week if they're church-going, Bible-believing Christians. Less than an hour a week, and that works out to five months of their lifetime.

So it's really simple. So if I put on this side a screen that I spend 23 years of my life and on this side God's Word, which side wins? 23 years or five months? 23 years.

You say, "Okay, Dwight, why do people spend so much time looking at screens?" Well, they're idle, they're bored. But I want you to spell idle differently than I-D-L-E. Can you spell idle? I-D-O-L. Because if I'm worshiping, what is the first command in Scripture in the Ten Commandments? No other gods before you.

Is it possible that this could become an idol, a false god, and that you're not worshiping here because you're worshiping here? Just look at the numbers, and I'm talking to me, maybe you. I spent way more time here than here.

And this last year, things got really weird in social media and the news media, and I work with the news media, and you know, somebody would say, "Did you hear?" No, I unplugged it. I was on iHeartMedia the day after the election talking about how to help people cope with their lives, and halfway through the interview, Sean, the person was talking about different things, and I was prepared for the interview, but I went to, you know, I go to bed early to get up early.

I went to bed at 8:30, and I said, "Excuse me, it wasn't Ryan Seacrest, it was somebody else. I said, 'Who won?'" He said, "You don't know?" I said, "I went to bed last night. I voted a month ago. I don't live for what happens in an election. I want to be faithful and responsible in the world that I live in, and whoever is elected doesn't change that. I still want to be a good human, loving and caring for the people in my life."

And when he said, "Who won?" I went, "Oh, thanks. I didn't know yet. I didn't want to know because what happens at the White House is not as important as what happens at your house," right?

So do you worship an idol? I-D-O-L because you're I-D-L-E because you're bored? It's one of the biggest reasons people get sucked into that rabbit hole.

So what are the warning signs? Here we go. Feeling anxious if you don't have a screen in your hand because boredom. Oh no, I can't feel boredom. Here's a weird thing: when you get into adult brain, you're allowed to feel. If you can't feel it, you can't heal it.

Wow. So when somebody says, "I watch the screen because I don't want to just feel lonely. I watch the screen because I'm kind of worried about the things in the world." The screen will not help you with worry; it will give you more.

Research is pretty clear: the more screen time that you have, the more depression, anxiety, and loneliness go up, maybe by half, maybe by 60 percent. Learning how to be at peace and solitude and quiet is healing. Knowing how to sit and sometimes be bored.

Well, I don't want a child to be bored. I want them to know how to think and explore. I know this makes me sound old, I guess, because I am. When I was growing up, we were told to go outside and play. It's crazy. Be home before the street lights came on.

And sometimes, Tim, you can get like a, you know, a stick and try to make a ball and, right, make a game, and you invent stuff as you go. There's lots of different reasons. But when you come away feeling sad, depressed, or lonely, and the biggest one, when you lose sleep.

Well, don't I have to stay up and see what Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel and Stephen Colbert? I've got to stay up with those guys. You know, pro tip, here we go. They record those shows at 4 p.m. So they can edit.

So that means they're home asleep in bed. Right? My kids went to a taping of Jimmy Fallon, and I didn't know this until they came back from the taping, and they said he talked about how they would put Winnie down for sleep and that they're all pretty much asleep by 8:30, 9 o'clock.

I said, "That's impossible. The show didn't come on until 11:30." And they said, "Like, you know, I'd fallen off the turnip truck. Dad, they recorded earlier." Oh.

If you're not getting sleep because of media, then I want you to regain control. "I can't control. I can't control." Yeah, you can. Let me show you how. Community. Right? Community.

But notice how I broke down the word. Common unity. We can connect with each other without screens. And the one thing Democrats, Republicans, Independents, Libertarians agreed on is family's the most important thing. No pushback on that one whatsoever.

Oh, and I don't want to miss this one. This is so great. The guy who invented this, there he is on the screen. The guy who invented it said, "Put it down and get a life."

Hello, the 1990s are calling. He said people, he said, "I didn't know this was going to be an addiction. He said, 'I just wanted a way to be able to call my buddies, share some jokes. I didn't know it would consume people's lives.'"

There's an author, she wrote a book called Breaking Up With Your Phone. The clinical research shows you'll be 25% happier if you just break up with your phone.

Well, I want to be happier. I want to have more peace and enjoyment in my life. Unplug your phone. Don't charge it. You say, "Well, it'll happen." Or do like me. When I first started breaking up with my phone after I read this, I went monochrome.

There's a setting on your phone, right? It's called color display. You push one button and it'll put your phone into black and white mode. And then what happens? You're 50% less likely to be distracted if it's black and white.

So it's a place to start. And then I also set all the timers on my phone so it won't let me spend too much time because I said, "I don't want my phone to control me."

She said if you want to break up with your phone, why was I picking it up? What's the purpose? Why now? In other words, reclaim control of your life.

And if you really want to have deep meaning, connect in relationships. That's why we have a small group. That's why you come to the Father's House. That's why to smile at other people, to be friendly, to greet people in the real world, not just in the virtual world.

I think the Father's House does more than any church that I know of in Central Florida with how do you connect in the real world. Get involved in a small group, right? Community events, road races, pet rescue, Habitat for Humanity, reading to seniors.

With the Leesburg Business Chamber, being involved in the community. We're involved. We're involved. What happens? You get more connected. When you get more connected, mentally you feel stronger and better.

I love this. These two girls won the Princess Diana Award because they got the idea, let's just, there was a, they go to middle school and they said, "What if we got all of our friends to write notes to the senior adults that live in the assisted living about a mile from our middle school? Hey, hope you're having a good day. Mrs. Johnson's 8th grade class."

And the seniors that live in the assisted living would get these and they would open up these notes from children and just cry. It reminded me when I saw that. When I worked at Ground Zero on the pile after the terrorist attacks in New York, there would be just boxes that children would send from different schools, and it would say, "Dear firefighters, dear first responders, thank you for what you're doing," and it would show the buildings, and I'd sit in the Salvation Army tent and get something to eat and just read those. They had them on the tables. And I'd just read them and cry.

It's healing when we do something to encourage somebody else. What happens when you unplug? You go out in nature where they don't have Wi-Fi. The New York Times says if you have a sense of awe, hey New York Times, I would call that the wonder of creation that was a gift from a creator.

Jim Muir said this over a hundred years ago. "Thousands of tired, nerve-shaking, over-civilized people are beginning to find out that going to the mountains is going home. That wilderness is necessity. That mountain parks are useful not as fountains of timber but as fountains of life." He said that in 1901.

So when I'm able to step back, I want you to know your eye is part of your brain and it is a window to the soul.

So here's the final question. Does your use of screens reflect scripture? David said in Psalms 101, "I'll set no worthless thing before my eye."

So when you're looking at a screen, is it worthless? When you're looking at a screen, does it renew your mind? "Do not conform to the patterns of the world." Screens are a whole lot about the world, not a whole lot about the Lord.

What about this one? "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is pure, whatever is noble," is that what you're thinking about when you're using a screen? Is it pulling you closer in your walk with Christ?

"Above all else, guard your heart." So here's when you think about it, and I hope they'll be really hard conversations today. Conversations about, are we letting this control our marriage, our family, our kids? Is it taking over our lives?

Because I want you to give hope, and I want you to have some hard conversations, and I want you to be part of a solution, right? Panama City Beach, 2017.

Panama City Beach, by the way, has more drownings with riptides than any city in Florida. They've had seven so far this year. And there was a mom, they're on vacation, it's a pretty place, and the mom heard her boys yelling because they got caught in a riptide.

And she and her husband and her mom, and they ended up, there's five of them out in the water, and the riptide just keeps pulling them out. They're twelve feet of water, they're struggling. And a woman on vacation with her husband named Jessica wasn't on her phone and she heard the screams, and she told everybody else, "Put down your phones, people were filming it. Put down your phones, link your arms, we're going to save them."

Eighty-one people linked arms. It took an hour and a half, and they saved all five of them. And when you and I link arms and we have hard conversations, you know what happens? The adult brain says, "Lord, give me courage to have the hard conversation so that we get rid of idols in our home."

I'd like you to stand. I'd like to pray for you.

Lord Jesus, I believe that there are people here today just like me who had an idol they worshipped, a screen. They didn't think they were, but Lord God, it stole their time, their energy, it hurt their family, hurt their health.

And maybe, God, somebody here today says, "I just want to lay it down." Maybe there's somebody that never met you as Savior; they don't have that spiritual power. So I pray right now if somebody doesn't know you, Lord God, that they would say, "I want to know about Jesus. I want to know why these people are singing and celebrating. What do they have that's different?"

We have the Lord God. There's some people I believe they've lost the joy of their salvation, and they've lost it because of screens and distractions and temptations.

And I pray, Lord, for men, for women, for moms, for dads, for kids, for teens. I pray for them. Pray that they would have the courage to lay it down. And I pray that in Jesus' name. Amen.

Here's what I'd like to do. If you want to meet Jesus as your Savior, please come forward. We have folks that'll help you. But if you're like me, and I've done this, if you're like me to say, "I just want to get rid of the screen, I want to serve Christ alone."

As they play the music, come on down, we'll pray for you. Got pretty quiet. All right, no problem. If you want to talk to somebody after the service, that's fine.

But I hope that you'll genuinely think about how much to use screens and how much to use scripture. I hope that never again will a screen steal energy from your life, from your relationships, or from your soul.

Be blessed. God bless you all. Pastor Terry.

Oh, Andrea, dismiss us.

"Is it possible that our choices of media are hurting us as a clinical, behavioral scientists working in the field for 30 years? We're going to cover a lot of science. And so the big thing I want you to know, we're going to cover a lot. I'm going to share with you different age groups, what happens to our brain with media." [00:36:37] (24 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)


"Teenagers are spending nearly five hours a day on just social media. When you count other forms of media, it's almost nine hours a day. You say, Dwight, when do they sleep? That's the problem, they don't. And did you know the only time that your bones grow, so that you get height, the height that God designed you for, is when you're getting deep sleep?" [00:37:56] (18 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)


"An adult brain can say, I think it's time to go to bed. It's time to go to bed. A child brain, you can keep tempting a child brain, and the child brain will keep giving into temptation. It fuels addictions. When we're in our child brain, we can be addicted and tempted and distracted and destroyed." [00:41:01] (18 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)


"Adolescents who spend more than three hours a day on social media face double the risk of anxiety and depression. Again, that works out to just about five hours a day on those social media apps. And what does it break down to? Just look at the bottom one. 13 % of girls under the age of 25 this year have attempted suicide." [00:43:56] (19 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)


"Can this be used to make your life better? Sure. Can it be used to control you? Sure. But let's dig a little deeper, because when we look at this, the evidence links screen addiction to academic struggles and to mental problems, depression, anxiety, attention deficit disorder, and it certainly goes even deeper and deeper into suicidal thinking." [00:48:31] (20 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)


"Marriage is hard, it is. Divorce is hard, pick your hard. Sometimes, you know, people say, you know, Dwight, you know, because I've been a counselor a long time, and occasionally I'll meet people and they'll say, you know what, I'm going to get divorced, it's going to solve all my problems." [00:56:37] (20 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)


"Because 15 years ago, the internet was an escape. Today, let's get you to the real world, because when I think about this in the real world, shared Tara shared this with you earlier just broke my heart the average American when you look at and then this is as of yesterday they spend seven hours seven minutes with some form of media some form of screen that works out to 23 .5 years of our life with an average American lifespan." [00:59:47] (29 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)


"Does your use of screens reflect scripture? David said in Psalms 101, I'll set no worthless thing before my eye. So when you're looking at a screen is it worthless? When you're looking at a screen, does it renew your mind? Do not conform to the patterns of the world?" [01:09:25] (17 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)


"Lord Jesus I believe that there are people here today just like me who had an idol they worshipped a screen they didn't think they were but Lord God it stole their time their energy it hurt their family hurt their health and maybe God somebody here today says I just want to lay it down." [01:11:38] (24 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)