It's not every Sunday you get introduced by the hottest chick in the room, so it's very special. So glad that you guys are here.
I just want to let you guys know, I don't know if we mentioned it before, but we have a fellowship lunch after the service over in the social hall. So you go over there, hang out, have lunch. If you don't have plans, you can plan to be with us. So after you sit here through a two-and-a-half-hour message. Yeah. I shortened it from three hours.
I'm going to start it how I usually start my messages, with a story. So, oh, by the way, if you did not get a green bracelet, you need one of these. For it, I'm not going to tell you why yet, but I will here in a little bit. But if you did not get a green bracelet, if you don't have one, raise your hand, and either our welcome team or one of our ushers will get you a bracelet. So here, I'll give you this one right here. So just keep your hands raised. They will come around. Make sure that you have one. Don't, like, later on go, like, I didn't get a bracelet.
So, thank you, Steve. Who else needs a bracelet? There you go. All right. We've got quite a few people that need bracelets. So if we get those, we've got someone passing them out. Okay, yeah, no one is there. Keep your hands raised, guys. Over here, some in the front. Mr. Miyagi needs one. And in the back. In the back.
All right. So as you guys are passing them out, I'm going to tell you all a story, because that's what I do. I like telling stories.
So I drop my phone a lot. I do. Now, when I say a lot, like, minimal ten times a day, I have no idea what's wrong with me. I drop my hands, but I'll take my phone, like, take it out of my pocket, and then I'll drop it. Get out of my truck, I drop it. I get in a dresser, I drop it. I don't know why, but I drop my phone a lot.
Now, since I've had iPhones, I've been using iPhones, I'm like, man, iPhones are indestructible because I've dropped them so many times and never had one break. Now, my wife, she tells me all the time, because I get a good case for it, but she says you need to get like a protective glass thing for the front that when you drop it.
Here's the problem with that, and it's a big problem, big problems. One, you've got to then hit your phone screen harder, and nobody has time for that. Like you, like it's time, like every little second counts, and you want to just be able to like just glide your fingertips across your phone and go to the link or wherever you need it to go to. So one, I don't put it on there because you've got to push hard on it.
Two, bubbles. Bubbles all the time. It drives me nuts. Third, my wife has a lot of animals. And everywhere in our house, there's animal hair. So no matter what, hair will get underneath that. Like you go to put it on, and just a hair, like a random hair will fly out, and you lay your hands on it, and then I'm like, oh, yeah, my cat Alex's hair, great. For the next three years, I'm looking at that.
Yeah. So obviously, no screen protector. So the other day, I dropped my phone. Not a big deal. I do it a lot. We already, we already, you're going to establish that. I dropped it, and it made a noise like it was like, ooh. Like there's one of those like, oh, that's not a regular drop. And it fell on the corner, and then it landed face down. I picked it up, and I was like, oh, please don't be cracked. Please don't be cracked. Not so much that I was like, oh, I have to go get another phone because then I would never hear the end of it from my wife.
I picked my phone up, no cracks in the screen. Oh, thank you, Jesus. Yes. A couple days go by. I'm looking at my phone, and I notice this around the camera. Cracks. Now, I'm a little aggravated, but I'm like, it's just around the camera. You know, not a big deal. I bought a little cover to go over it so you can't even see it on this.
Now, a couple days past that, I'm sitting at, I'm eating lunch. I'm sitting at a table. And I just think in my mind, I'm like, you know what? Is it possible that my phone may be cracked behind the case? So, I pry my case off and see this. Yeah, not good. Now, I'm like, at least it's not the front, right? You go get the positive.
Now, it might be a problem when I have to go trade it in the phone or whatever, but not a big deal. My case covers it. Put the case on. Hope my wife don't see it. And, by the way, it's on the back. I got a front cover. It wouldn't even have helped.
So, a couple days passed. I get this notification on my phone. I go to my settings, and I see this. Important camera message. Apple is sending me an important camera message. Obviously, if Apple sends you an important message, you're going to check and see what it is. You're not going to ignore that. I clicked on it. And I got this. Unknown part. Unable to determine if your iPhone camera is a genuine Apple part.
Do you mean? Is there unauthorized cameras out there that people are attaching to their iPhones? Is this a thing? Is there a black market for this or something? Is there a guy in the back of his trunk selling rigged up Apple phones that hook to your phone? I have no idea. But this could be because it's not. It could be because it's not a genuine part. Or it could be because it's not functioning as expected.
I was like, ooh, maybe it is affecting something. But I couldn't tell. A couple days later, I'm taking pictures. And the screen goes black. I refresh the phone. I'm able to take it. Then I go to take pictures again, and my lens won't focus. It's all blurry. Reset my phone. It works okay for a little bit. And then I got a message one time. It says, camera's unable to connect to phone. Like, what does that even mean? Like, it's hooked to my phone. Like, you can't take them off. It's just weird stuff.
So you're like, why are you talking about iPhone and cameras and all that for this message? Because the assignment that I feel like the Lord has given me for today, I didn't know any other way to start it because, and I'm just going to warn you right now, it may get a little uncomfortable. And you're like, why? How do I know that? Because I'm uncomfortable delivering it.
And if you've ever heard me speak before, you know there's not many areas that I feel uncomfortable about going, and this is one. See, mental illness is a lot like my iPhone. On the outside, you look fine. On the outside, it looks like everything's going good. You don't see scrapes, you don't see bruises, you don't see scratches. It's all happening on the inside.
And a lot of times, we're going people that are going through mental illness, it's for some, they don't feel like they're sharing it. A lot of times it's like, well, I don't want to burden somebody else with what I'm going through, so I don't want to put this on your plate and it cause damage or you stress about it. So instead, I just hang on to it, and it kills me from the inside.
See, I don't know, growing up in the church world like I did, it's not something that we talked about a lot. Depression, anxiety. In fact, I've never sat where you're sitting and heard a preacher do a message on suicide before because it's like just something that we don't talk about. And why would we? Because a lot of times the answers we get for that is stuff like, you need to pray more.
Oh, you're depressed? You need to pray more. You have stress? You need to pray more. Oh, you got anxiety? You need to go to church more. Oh, you're having thoughts that you shouldn't have? Oh, you need to worship harder. What does that even mean? And we get these answers. It's kind of like, it's like these platitudes. And then it's like, you know what? You feel like you're getting dismissed. It's just like, okay, I'm just going to keep this in and keep it to myself.
Because it's really not like the cool thing to do or the thing to talk about, especially within the church. It's kind of like this taboo thing.
Anybody ever had a broken arm or broken leg, broken limb? Right? What happened? What did they do? They put a cast on it, right? Now, if you did that back in the day in school, you go to the school and all your friends sign it. No lie. I remember, I remember being in grade school and one of my friends breaking their arm. They came to school. Everybody's signing it. Everybody's giving them attention. I'm like, I wish I could break my arm.
But we can show that. We can talk about that. But when it comes to mental illness, no, we don't want to talk about that. We keep it hidden. It's like this stigma. A stigma around mental illness. Not just in the church, but just in life. It's something that just kind of makes us feel uncomfortable.
And I know you might be thinking this because I thought this. Listen, and I'm going to share some of the stuff I've went through this past week dealing with this message because it was one that I did not want to deliver and I argued with God. And then I was like, I don't want to do this. I did the youth service on Friday night, and I was planning on doing some cute little message, and God's like, no, do this message. And I'm like, what?
So I did kind of a shortened version of it. And you may be thinking like, oh, Jimmy, this would be like a message maybe like going into a high school or maybe going like into a workplace or maybe it's like a different platform. But not church. This isn't a church problem.
Now, I kind of thought that too until I started looking up different statistics. I started looking up different statistics. Pastor Rick Warren shared this back after his son committed suicide. And he gave this quote. We should have it on the screen. He says, there's no shame in diabetes. There's no shame in high blood pressure. But why is that if our brains stop working, there's supposed to be shame in that?
This is LifeWay Press. There's some pretty interesting studies. It's a Christian organization. It said that 36%, because it's not just happening within church congregations, but in general, the study finds out that 36% of pastors deal with either depression or anxiety. 7% with the thoughts of harming themselves. And then out of that percentage, 92% of those pastors feel uncomfortable sharing that with the church.
Today, the number one reason that people commit suicide today is because of depression. I feel like that's not important. Nobody's going to miss me. People will be better off if I'm not here. And so often we're like, oh, this isn't a church issue. This isn't something we should talk about. But I believe this is something we should start talking about.
And I believe that Fairlawn Church should be a place where people could come and they could talk about where they are and be transparent about that without judgment and say, hey, you know, we're here to help. So the title of my message is, Are You Okay?
Because a lot of times we get asked this or we ask other people this, but we get generic answers. It just kind of becomes lip service, like a greeting. Have you ever had it like where somebody asks you if you're okay or asks you how you're doing, and then you start telling them actually how you're doing or how you're not okay, and you can see it in their eyes and they're like, I did not sign up for this. Yeah, I got to go. It's Miss Ann's birthday.
Suicide rate even among pastors is growing. Just recently, there's some pastors of very large churches that have committed suicide. One, Jared Wilson, he was 30 years old. He had two sons and a wife. And he was pastoring a large church in California. He committed suicide. A pastor named F.L. Copeland, he pastored First Baptist Church in Phoenix City, Alabama. He's recently committed suicide.
And this one is one that I really did some research on. Andrew Steffens. He's the pastor of Indian Hills Church in California. The week before he committed suicide, he did a message on depression. He had three kids and a wife. His wife's name is Kayla. And she's kind of her ministry. She goes out and she talks about noticing the signs of suicide and the signs of depression.
And she said that she took her kids out and they went out grocery shopping and came back and found Andrew. And she said, I had no idea. He never talked about this. He was always happy. That year that he committed suicide, he went on seven mission trips. And she said he had come back super excited. Constantly stuff going on at the church.
And then she said these words. She said, for a lot of us, busy. It's a drug that we're addicted to. If we can just keep our mind busy, if we can just continue, keep doing stuff, doing more stuff, doing more stuff. I won't have to deal with this. But the problem is eventually you'll have to slow down and eventually you'll have to deal with it.
We got the stigma in church that we just got to suffer with in silence. You know, oh, you're going through a hard time. You're depressed. Oh, you're just, you're not spiritual. You're not spiritual enough. I feel like somebody needs to hear this. You being depressed and you going through this does not make you any less spiritual, or any of us closer to God, just like being happy doesn't make you any more spiritual.
See, here's the thing. It's okay to not be okay, but it's not okay to stay there. Because we're not supposed to stay there. Pray more, go to church more, worship more. I, here's the thing, and people that say that, I don't think they do a whole lot of reading in the Bible, because the Bible is full of people going through depression and going through anxiety.
There's this dude, his name's Job. Maybe you heard of him. Job, his children were killed. His business was destroyed. He lost everything. And then Job, chapter 30, verse 16 through 22, he says this, and now my life seeps away. Depression haunts my days. Maybe you can relate to that.
All night, my bones are filled with pain, which gnaws at me relentlessly. With a strong hand, God grabs my shirt. He grips me by the collar of my coat. He has thrown me into the mud. I'm nothing more than dust and ashes. I cry to you, O God, but you don't answer. Maybe you feel like that.
I stand before you, but you don't even look. You become cruel to me, towards me. You use your power to persecute me. You throw me into the whirlwind and destroy me in the storm. Maybe you're here today, and you feel like God has deserted you. Maybe you're even questioning, is this thing real? You look around here and worship. People are raising their hands. They're getting into it. You're like, I feel nothing.
How about David? We talk about David a lot in the church, right? Man after God's own heart. A lot of times, we kind of talk about the good stuff and not the bad stuff, but this is what he penned in Psalms chapter 6, 6 through 7. It says, I am worn out from sobbing. All night, I flood my bed with weeping, drenching it with tears. My vision is blurred by grief. My eyes are worn out because of all of my enemies.
My vision is blurred. Listen. Just much like my iPhone, when it got damaged, our vision gets blurred, and we start thinking things. We start thinking things that's not even going on. This just starts weighing down on us. In Psalms 88, 18, this dude named He-Man wrote this. Not this He-Man. Uncomfortable standing. Not that He-Man. Just want to make sure y'all know.
Psalms 88, 18, it says, You have taken away my companions and loved ones. Darkness is my closest friend. Darkness is my closest friend. And you thought, Simon and Garfunkel wrote that, right? No. It's He-Man. Lamentations 2, 11. It says this. It says, this is the prophet Jeremiah. Jeremiah, he was a prophet to speak to Israel. They call him the weeping prophet. Like, not really a cool name, right?
Lamentations 2, 11, it says, I have cried until the tears no longer come. My heart is broken. Some of you, maybe you've, the only reason you're not crying right now is because you have no tears left. And then there's this dude, this rock star, superstar prophet named Elijah. And Elijah finds himself, 1 Kings 19, 3, 4, it says, Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. Doesn't seem like a very powerful prophet.
When he came to Beersheba and Judah, he left his servants there, while he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness. By the way, if you are, like, down and out, like one place I would recommend not going is the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it, and prayed that he might die. I've had enough, Lord, he said. Take my life. I am no better than my ancestors. Maybe you're to the place right now you're like, I've had enough.
So there's some things I want to point out why I think that we go through a lot of this and why right now we see these numbers increasing. One, we don't talk about it, but there's some things. One, we are right now in this comparison culture. And I realize that since the beginning of time we've had comparison. You know what? Look what they have and I don't have or look what I have and they don't have. But I would say it's at the all-time high right now because we have these social scoreboards, these social media scoreboards like Facebook and Instagram and TikTok and other ones I don't even know.
It's like a new one coming out every week, and we can look and see what other people have going on. And listen, I am not downing social media. I'm there. It's a tool that can be used for so much. But a lot of times, are you using the tool or is the tool using you? Because what we do a lot of times is we compare our lows to somebody else's highlight reel, and it's what's doing, it's sucking the life out of us.
Oh, I wish I had that. Oh, I wish my life was like that. Or maybe it's the opposite. At least I'm not going through that. Or at least I'm not, that's not what's happening. We've had a, in a ministry, Julie and I, that's really all our marriage is known. We got married in our pastor's office, and then I went for our honeymoon and went over to the youth room and did, he spoke to the youth at that time, the teenagers, and we've been in it.
And throughout the years, people would come up to us, and they would say, I mean, I wish I had a marriage like y'all's, or I wish I could find somebody like Julie, or I wish I could find somebody like Jimmy. And I remember a couple years ago, Julie would say things, and she said it multiple times. She's like, I feel like a fraud. And I'm like, why? She's like, because people think we have this perfect marriage. And I'm like, oh, people don't think that.
Very next Sunday, somebody comes up. We're both there. Oh, you guys just have the perfect marriage. I think, well, maybe we should just start telling people that we don't. But see, here's the thing. We're not broadcasting our failures. We're not posting our mess-ups. We're not posting our challenges. We're not uploading our weaknesses. I mean, mostly what we put up there is going to be the good stuff, right? Just because we're posting good stuff doesn't mean we're not walking out bad stuff in our lives.
We're all walking through something. But a lot of times, we just look at this highlight reel of somebody's life and just like, oh, I want that. So we have the comparison culture. Another reason I think that we're in the place that we're at with these growing numbers is because for the second generation, in a row, the divorce rate is increasing, and more and more children are growing up in fatherless homes.
And the statistics to this is insane. And I just want to throw this out there. You can be a father and actually in the house, but not be present. These are statistics. This is from the U.S. Census. Those that grow up in a fatherless home are twice as likely to commit suicide. 63% of all youth, of all youth suicides, 63% are from fatherless homes. 90% of teenage runaways, fatherless homes. 71% of high school dropouts, fatherless homes. 75% of adolescents are stuck in addiction, fatherless homes.
This one, I couldn't believe it, 80% of rapists, fatherless homes. This is from the Justice and Behavior Department. 85% of men that are in prison, fatherless homes. Now, for daughters, I did, let me tell you something, guys. I did so much research for this message. I couldn't believe these. I don't even know how this works, how it's possible. For daughters that grew up when a father was home, they're 711% more likely to have a child as a teenager.
Yeah, 711%. I don't even know how that works, numbers. 160% more likely to have a premarital birth, give a premarital birth. 92%. 92% more likely to get divorced. See, fathers, as fathers, we help shape and mold and we set the tone. We're supposed to set the tone that's in the house.
And we have right now, right now we talk about identity more than ever before in this culture, but I believe that we have a bigger identity crisis than ever before. And it's twofold because a father is supposed to affirm, correct, and encourage, but a father is also supposed to discipline, and we have such a lack of discipline these days.
And you're like, well, what am I supposed to do about that? Here's the thing. I don't even have any kids. See, Psalm 68, 5 says that our God is the father to the fatherless, and he fills the gaps. But here's the thing. He also calls his sons and daughters to fill the gaps. And there's people in this room, and there's people that God has put in your life that he has called you to fill the gaps. And be that person.
They might only be two years younger than you. And God may be calling you because you're the closest thing to a father that they've ever had. Single moms? And I give you major props because you're playing it out in both hands, being that father and being that mother. And it has to be so challenging at times. But I just want to encourage you to keep going.
Another reason that I believe that we're in the place that we are in is because we're in the selfie generation. And listen, I have no problem with you taking selfies. I will be right there, match you selfie for selfie. No issue with that. But when I say a selfie generation, it's all about me, me, me. You don't believe me? Go to iTunes. Look up the top 100 songs on Apple Music.
And you'll see such a huge percentage of them are all about me and what people can do for me. And I'm on top. I'm the best. Me, me, me, me. It's all about me. And we get so self-focused. Look at me. Look what I'm doing. And I want everybody to love me. And here's the thing, too. There's maybe some that is like... Like, no, it's not self-love. It's self-hate. Like, you're always talking about how terrible you are, and how bad you are, and what a mess-up you are.
I'm just going to say this. Both are the same problem, just different words. Because it's all about you. Philippians 2:3 says, Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above you.
There's somebody here that when I started talking about this and asking, are you okay? You looked around and you thought, yeah, this sermon's for you guys. Because about time some of y'all started asking me if I'm okay. Whoever that is, I just want to tell you, no, this sermon's for you. Instead of focusing on other people, asking you if you're okay. What he's telling us to do is start asking other people if they're okay.
Okay. And here's the cool thing that will happen. You start asking people if they're okay and really listening and talking. You will have more people around you than ever before. Because there's something about someone that really cares that just draws people in.
See. How did this superstar, rockstar prophet Elijah get to where he's at? I mean, let me tell you about some of the stuff that he's done. You remember that one time that there was this widow? She had a son. Son died. Elijah walked in. He's like, not on my watch. He raised him from the dead, brought him from death to life.
There was another time when he was hungry, and God sent ravens, and he was fed by ravens. Can you imagine that? Like you're somewhere, and you're like, man, I am so hungry, and all of a sudden a bird flies by and drops you a Happy Meal. Whoa. Fed by ravens. Right? You remember the other time? Like he was in a foot race with a horse, and he won? Like he's like the Flash or something.
And then my favorite. See, this Elijah, this dude, he never dies. Bible talks about he was taken up into heaven by a chariot of fire. Listen, yo. If I can sign up for it, that's how I want to go. Right? I can picture something like, I'm like the Little Mermaid or something. Just, uh, uh, and just kind of taken up. Yeah, I'll sign up for that any day.
I mean, this dude, it's a pretty bad dude. So how did he get to where he was in such depression, where he was wanting to die or telling God to kill him? Well, how, for us to understand that, we got to look. Just understand 1 Kings chapter 19. We got to understand 1 Kings chapter 18.
See, there's this king of Israel. His name's Ahab, and he has a wife, and she is pure evil. Her name is Jezebel. And she brings in her God. Her God is a God named Baal. And Elijah has a showdown with the prophets of Baal on Mount Carmel. It's 450 verse 1. Elijah's the one.
Now, I love Elijah because, listen, I've just been watching a lot of basketball documentaries lately. And, um, a lot of them I'm watching, like, it's about with the Lakers and the Celtics and all that. And I just want to tell you, like, I wasn't ever been, like, a huge basketball fan. But this dude, Larry Bird, he is a trash talker.
But he didn't have nothing on Elijah. Because usually, like, when you trash talk somebody, it's like you got your boys with you. Not Elijah. I mean, he's by himself. 450 to 1. He's like, you guys go first. They start singing, dancing, cutting themselves, trying to call on their gods to set this altar on fire. Elijah's just sitting there trash talking them.
Where's your God right now? Maybe he's got his headphones on. Hey, hey, hey, um, hey, King Ahab, where's the toilet paper? Maybe Baal's using the bathroom. He's just having a blast. Now it's his turn. He gets up. He says, hey, you know what? It's not a big enough challenge. Get some water. Got 12 pitchers of water. They poured it onto the altar. He prays. He calls on fire. It burns up the water. Sets the altar on fire. Everybody starts worshiping God Jehovah.
Now, just as any Old Testament form, Elijah's like, all right, gather up those 450 prophets. We're going to kill them. Thank goodness we're not losing them. We're going to kill them. Living in the Old Testament times now, right? Now King Ahab goes back and tells Jezebel. Jezebel gets mad. She is ticked off. She says, you know what? Before the sun comes down, Elijah, I'm going to kill you.
All this other stuff this dude has done, fear hits him. He's hit a wall and he gets scared. I think it's interesting because after his biggest accomplishment, he's dealing with this. Because a lot of times we go on these big highs and something, it's a place that we're like, man, this is awesome. I could stay here forever. But eventually you got to come down.
And he hits a wall. He starts to freak out. He starts to worry. Anybody ever, any worriers here? You know this? In 45 years, I've been worrying about stuff. Never even happened. They say like 90% of the things, stuff we worry about, never happens. But what it does, it starts detaching us from people.
And we see that with Elijah because what he does is he goes to his partner in ministry. And he says, you know what? You stay here. You go home. And he goes into the wilderness. You know what he's saying? He's saying, I give up. I give up on ministry. I'm done with this. I don't want to die. He goes into the wilderness. He detaches from people.
And so often that's what we do. We isolate ourselves. We go through this depression. Our focus gets off. And we're like, you know what? So one of the youths said it, and I thought it was perfectly said. People are scary. Yeah. We don't know how they're going to react to stuff. If we're by ourselves, we can control everything.
And Elijah gets to that place, and he detaches from people. Stanford University did a study, and they said that people that participate in community have lower levels of anxiety. Anxiety and stress. 50% increased chance of longevity. When we're around people, it strengthens our immune system. We have recovery from injury and disease faster. And here's a big one. It lengthens our life. Being in community.
And Elijah gets to the wilderness. He's by himself. He gets down. He gets depressed. He starts those comparisons. And there's one point where he tells God, I'm the only one left. And God's like, no, you're not. You think that because you're by yourself in the wilderness. If you sit in your room, and you're like, nobody's here for me. Yeah, because you're in your room. You've shut yourself away from everybody.
And Elijah gets a lot like us. And he starts talking to God. And he's like, all right, God. Now, this dude's been fed by ravens. Speed to outrun a horse. Calling fire down from heaven. Raised some kid to life. He's like, oh. Starts doubting God. If you're real, show me.
God says, okay, you go to the top of the mountain. Elijah gets up there. And a great wind. Thank you. A great wind comes. Okay, thank you. A great wind comes. And it moves so strong that it moves the mountain. It's like the mountain's going to fall down. It's like, surely God's in this. He said, God wasn't in the wind.
Then an earthquake. Oh, surely God's in this. And he says, God's not in that. Then fire. Surely God's in the fire. How about fire? You know? He said, God's not in the fire. A lot of times we're looking for something big. And I think Elijah's perfect proof. He had a lot of big stuff happening in his life. Miracles happening. A relationship with God. And he still got to the point where he's like, oh, I don't even know if I have a purpose.
And a lot of times we think, man, if God would just show me that one big thing. If somebody would just pay my mortgage this week. If somebody would just come and fix the plumbing at my house. If somebody would just give me a car. My life would be good. We're looking for that big thing.
But I love this because 1 Kings 19:12, it says, after the earthquake came, a fire. But the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came, a gentle whisper. I love this. The Lord spoke to him in a whisper. You know why I love this? What has to happen for you to hear a whisper? Oh, boy. You got to be quiet, but what else? Who said that? You got to be close.
If you're going to whisper something to me, for me to hear it, I got to be close. And a lot of times stuff starts happening in our lives. And we, instead of getting closer to God, we get farther away, farther away. And then we wonder, why am I doubting all these things? Why is all this stuff happening?
So. God's called us to community. I don't believe you. We wouldn't be here if he didn't. I don't believe it's an accident that anybody's here. God's called you here. He's put you here for a reason.
But a lot of times God puts people in our lives and they go through stuff. And I think we've all been guilty of this. They start going through these things and there's some people, it just seems like they got problem after problem after problem, and then we make excuses why we aren't there for them.
Oh, they put themselves in that position. They should have worked harder. I got my own problems. I told him he, she has bad news and he shouldn't marry her. Now he has to put up with her. And all of this starts to happen and we just, you know, man, if I deal with this, this person, man, I'm already bad at time management and I can't just sit here and start talking to this person.
I know you're going through something. Maybe God will bring somebody to talk to you that enjoys talking about problems and about issues and how bad it is. By the way, yeah, there's not a whole lot of people that just enjoy talking about that. It's not that they just, oh, I can't, I love hearing about how bad things are with people. It's, no, hey, I, how can I help?
And we go through all these things and these people that have all these problems. I'm going to go around this corner. Aiden, can you come help me? He's going to get stuck on this corner. And I think if we're all honest, we all know people, when I go around this corner, just keep it from catching and keep pulling those easily.
We all know people that have issues, right? Anybody know, anybody just, you're like, I have no idea what he's talking about. I know nobody with issues. If that is you, I want to hang out in your circle. Either that or you are the one that's just standing in the room. But you're out right now, so I guarantee you, you're going to find somebody with issues.
You're like, no way, this is church. This is the first time ever at church, if you think church is a place where people don't have issues. And all through this, and you have either this person or all these people that have all these things, and you're just like, ah, it's not my problem.
You know, there's this one saying, this famous saying, I, um, it's, it's, it's, I hate this saying, um, it's, you know, not my monkeys, not my circus. Yeah. Whatever. And, uh, is this the other side? Okay. And, um, all right, Larry. You did this, I'm going to pull this, and then, and then, you know what happens? Just, we're like, you start going through stuff.
Anybody know what I'm talking about? Like, you've gone through stuff before? Maybe it's divorce, maybe problems at work. You know, man, I, you know what, it's just the darndest things. Something's wrong with my kids. They just don't listen. And I'm having a hard time with my payments this year.
You know, and you get all of these things, and here's, here's the interesting thing. Heath, can you take this, and you know what? We need this to stay right here, but if we can pull this out, this rope's longer than I thought. You know what? Let's do this. Heath, you want to grab this? Come with me.
We went around, let's take this rope down through here. Where are we at? And I have a feeling that there's somebody here today that you feel like you're at the end of your rope. Meaning, like, I can't take it anymore, and I don't know how much more I can take. Y'all can put it down now if it's at the end.
And this is what I believe, that God's looking for some people, and I believe God's looking at Fairlawn Church to be the person that says, you know what? You're at the end of your rope. Here, hook onto mine. Because here's the thing. Here's the thing. It's all the same rope.
So if you're not okay, guess what? I'm not okay. You're struggling in this area? Maybe you're not. You did do some things that got you there, but you're struggling in that area. I'm also struggling in that area. Because God's called us to be people that walked it out. That's what the New Testament church did. They walked it out with each other. It was no, the haves and have-nots. It was, hey, I'm gonna walk this out with you, and I believe that God has called us to.
And a lot of times you're like, well, you know what? Like I'm looking at my friends and the people in my circle and I seem to be the one with the most problems. Maybe you are, I'm not saying you're not. But a lot of times you may not see all the stuff that they're going through.
And I wanna show you this video. I always look the way that we think it's going to look. And I would say oftentimes it's not. It's not. I gave you these bracelets. Green is the color of mental health awareness. This is what I'm asking you guys to do with these bracelets, and everybody should have one, is for this week.
I'm not asking you to do it for the rest of your life. For this week to wear this bracelet as a reminder to the people that God's put in your life for you to ask them, hey, are you okay? So one of the reasons that I struggled with this message, and I've had some sleepless nights and going through different things, is because it reminded me a few years ago I got a phone call as a pastor or as a youth pastor that you don't ever want to get.
I had one of my former youth members, they called me, and they answered, and they said, oh, hey, PJ, that's what they would call me. She said, my brother died. And he died of suicide. She asked me to go to the funeral, and I did. And he wrote her a note. And I asked her if it would be okay to read you guys the note that he wrote.
She asked me just not to say any names. But this is what he wrote to his sister. I'm sorry, sis. The pain was so much. It was too much. My life was never going to get better. I love you so very much. I'll miss two people. I'll miss my dog and I'll miss you. Please take care of them. I often tell him that I love him.
He was on, he says, every action in my life until now has been a failure. I have caused so much sorrow. I have constantly messed up over and over again. He said, everybody that has come to know me is worse than they were before. He said, sis, for the first time in my life, I am going to do something that's going to affect others in a positive way.
He signed the letter, and he took his life. And I'll just tell you like this is a dude that I would have never guessed would have done this. And his sister said, PJ, if I just would have known. If I would have known that he felt this way, I would have told him how much my life is better with him in it. She couldn't believe that he felt this way.
It had been a month since she talked to him, and she was going through all this regret. And listen, I don't know all y'all's stories, and maybe you're going through some, maybe someone that you loved that have taken their own life. A couple things. One, I feel like God wants you to know that it's not your fault.
I think this is some narrative out there that like suicide is this unforgivable sin. The Bible says not to murder, and murder yourself, and you can't ask for forgiveness. I just want to say this, that Jesus' sacrifice, his blood washed away all sins. So maybe you're then, you have this thought people have told you that that loved one is burning in hell and all of this.
I just want to say this, it's not about how you die, but it's about the relationship with him that you have. I mean, I feel like there's someone here and you're someone that you love, they did this, and you're so mad at them. You have, you were holding so much unforgiveness towards them. How could they do this? They were so selfish.
And that's kind of this narrative that we get about suicide is selfish. I'll just want, I want to say this, that any animal you put, put an animal in a corner and he's feared for his life, he's gonna fight. So there's a disconnect that happens when someone says, I'm gonna take my own life.
And I feel like somebody needs to know this, that wasn't them. That wasn't them that made that decision. There was a disconnect that happened, and it's time to forgive.
So Thursday night, I didn't sleep at all. I laid in bed, and I am, I'd like start to drift off, and I don't know if this was a dream or a vision or what, because I've been really debating God, why is God having me speak on this? You know, it's like Christmas time. It should be like Christmas stuff.
And I had this vision or this dream of somebody, and I feel like God was telling me, they're gonna, you're here today. Vision of this person writing the suicide note. You've already wrote the note. You already have a plan. And you're here today with that in mind of like, I'm not gonna be here much longer.
I even have that in mind that nothing's gonna change my mind. Good try, preacher. Your creamsicle shirt and sweater, hot wife. Good job. Good try. You've already made that mind that you want to. And you think nobody else has seen that note. And I'm telling you, Jesus has.
And he wants you to know it's not over. He wants you to know that you are good enough. That you do have purpose. There's a whole bunch of people in this room right now who he's put you in a community for purpose and for reason. And this part of the message is for you. Amen.
Because this rope symbolizes our lives and our issues and our problems. And you think that there is nobody there because maybe it's isolation, comparison, whatever it is. So what we're gonna do now, I'm gonna challenge each one of you. We're gonna take our bracelets. I want you to know this. I'm connected to you. Your problem's my problem. Your issue's my issue.
You're not okay. I'm not okay until you're okay. I'm not okay until you're okay. And if there's anybody here at Fairlawn Church that you're saying the same thing and you're with me on this, I challenge you to come up here and clip that bracelet to this rope.
There's no wall you won't kick down, I'm coming after you. I think it's pretty awesome because I'm looking around and I see people having a difficult time connecting, and then I see people helping them connect. You can connect to the same one that someone else is connected to if you need to.
Thank you. Trying to connect Mr. Miyagi to this. I got snot running down my nose. I want you to look around. Because I want you to look around at the people that God's put in your life that's making that comment and that statement loud and clear: you are not alone.
Are you okay? If the answer's no, we got you. And we're willing to walk this out with you. So my friends, my family, the awesome people at Fairlawn Church, may you be the one, and may we be the people that ask, are you okay? May we find healing in community, because that's how God created us. And may we be so close to God that we can hear Him whisper.
Thank you for being a part of this. I love you.
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on Oct 29, 2024
