**Phil:** Is Mark. My name is Phil. And we're doing it, Phil. We're kicking off a new series. After nine weeks in Beyond the Basics, I feel like you were ready to be beyond beyond the basics. That's what this series is about. You were ready to get beyond back to the basics. You get it? Yeah. You get it. You've thought about things?
**Mark:** Yeah.
**Phil:** Well, I am a very boring person. So people may not know that about me, but if you spend a lot of time with me, you'll be like, he's kind of boring. I don't read fiction. So like the books be like, oh, have you read this classic fiction book? I feel like... So I mean, like I've been through them. I'm sure you have. But it's not like a thing I run back to. There's a reason that I don't like quote a bunch of fiction because it's just not what I consume.
**Mark:** You don't have a Lord of the Rings tattoo on your arm?
**Phil:** I do not have a Lord of the Rings tattoo. And like, I respect it. I think that stuff's amazing. It's just for me, my go-to books are going to be nonfiction, research kind of stuff, and then cultural commentary stuff. And then I really like...
**Mark:** You sound so terrible.
**Phil:** I really like documentaries. This is a thing for me, whether it's like short form stuff on YouTube, like 15, 20 minutes about something or long form documentaries. So, you know, there's to me like the big stories of culture or, you know, like the stories of the rise and fall of nations or the stories of companies that you go, oh, here's a company that you remember this company, whatever happened to them. Like, I'm very interested in those kinds of stories because I feel like when you learn them, you can see how they're going to affect how kind of culture and what the bigger story that was happening at the time informed that story and maybe how that story, if it was big enough, actually informed culture.
**Mark:** Wow.
**Phil:** So I like that stuff. I do like movies beyond that. I just think that when you have kids at a certain point, you like, if you want to talk to me about like Inside Out 2, I can tell you about it. I have not seen that episode of Bluey, but I've heard the same thing.
**Mark:** Yeah, so I mean, I think stories, like if you think about a typical story, it has characters, it has a plot line, it has tension. You know, likely whether it's a fictional story or nonfiction story, it has lessons you can learn in the lowering tension. And so I think a lot of times, I talked about it this weekend, that we can kind of make ourselves the main character, and sometimes we can make ourselves the only character. And when we do that, I think we don't live in a small world, but we make our world very small.
**Phil:** And I hope that a little bit of what we talked about helped sort of widen the aperture for you to go, you know what, I may not be the only character in my story. There may be something that God is writing bigger than just me and what I'm going through. And for some people, that's something that you need God to humble you with, because you're like, I'm a big deal, Phil. I don't think you realize, like, I'm actually crushing it. I am the main character.
**Mark:** And there are some people at Menlo that are really big deals from like a cultural perspective that are like, I could say their name and you would know their name. But I would say some of those people you're thinking of actually are some of the most humble you've ever met. And you could probably connect that stuff. And then I think there are also people where you feel like you don't matter, like you're just a bit player.
**Phil:** And I talked about that a little bit this weekend that, you know, I paralleled back to theater that, you know, there's no small parts, only small players, only small cast members. And so some of you, you need to kind of let God gas you up a little bit to say, no, no, no, like you have a purpose. You're here for a reason.
**Mark:** I love stories like there was an evangelist that was like traveling around, you know, a century ago. And he was, you know, telling people about Jesus. It was kind of normal at that time. And there was one night where, you know, normally you would have tons of people in huge crowds and a bunch of people would make personal decisions to follow Jesus. And there was one night that only one person came forward and he was like so discouraged. And man, like what, God, what are you doing?
**Phil:** Well.
**Mark:** And that person was Billy Graham.
**Phil:** Yeah. And so you're like, well, and if you don't know who Billy Graham is, Billy Graham is like probably the most prominent modern evangelist that we've ever had. And so you go, man, like, God, you had this bigger story that if this person could have trusted you, they would have maybe believed like, hey, this one person, God can do something really big with this one person.
**Mark:** And me being faithful, we say this a lot. We don't, we're not responsible for the fruit, we're responsible for seeds, right? Like we just plant seeds, plant seeds, plant seeds. And so I think for a lot of us, our stories are seed planting stories, but we want to live fruit growing stories, you know? And it's, it's, there's a reason it's not called fruit of the Mark, fruit of the Phil. It's called fruit of the spirit.
**Phil:** And so being able to say, God, I just want to walk faithfully. We talked about this at the end of our series in Romans when we parallel back to Galatians, like God is not mocked. Whatever you sow, that's what you will actually reap. If you sow in the spirit, you'll reap eternal life. If you sow in the flesh, you'll reap corruption. And so our stories, I think, are really the canvas by which those decisions show up.
**Mark:** And so, yeah, I hope that some of the tools we've talked about already give people a chance to think through the lens of, oh, my story, it's a real thing. Because I think a lot of us, especially if you're younger, you don't really think about your story. You just think like, oh, next grade, next season, next life milestone, whatever. And you're chasing so hard that it's hard to even reflect on the fact that God has been writing a story with your life.
**Phil:** And if you look back and see his faithfulness, I think it gives us a lot more confidence to look forward and believe in for his faithfulness.
**Mark:** Yeah, definitely.
**Phil:** Well, most people think their story is boring.
**Mark:** Yeah.
**Phil:** Because it's your story, right? Like if your office always looks the same, it could be a crazy office.
**Mark:** Yeah.
**Phil:** But for you, eventually it's going to feel like wallpaper, right? If you have the same job or the same family or the same, like, eventually it becomes ordinary. But what's ordinary to you is extraordinary to somebody else. And so when we share our stories, that's exactly what happens, is that people who are coming from the perspective of their ordinary see your ordinary, and your ordinary is not theirs. And so they can't appreciate things you can't appreciate. They can see how God maybe showed up in ways that you didn't anticipate.
**Mark:** You know, for me, a big portion of my life, I didn't think my story was particularly unique. You know, I was like, this is just my life. You know, I don't know. Like, everybody doesn't have parents that are, you know, in a dysfunctional marriage. Everybody doesn't have a dad that hits them. Everybody doesn't have a home that's not safe. Everybody doesn't have learning challenges. Like, for me, that was all just normal.
**Phil:** Like, you're hearing me going, what? Are you serious?
**Mark:** Yeah, it's just the water I'm swimming in. It's the frog that gets boiled in the frying pan one degree at a time. Like, it's your thing. And so I think that's, like, it's a huge part of the gift of community because we get to see one another through the lens, the lens of our experience to theirs rather than, hey, the prescription that I wear in life, everything to me that is in my life is totally normal.
**Phil:** I think I could feel it in high school because you start to get involved in people's lives at a deeper level, right? Like, your friends you're on a deeper level with.
**Mark:** Yep.
**Phil:** And I had just a... I had a terrible track record early in high school of dating too many girls. Like, it was stupid. I just paid a very... I paid a lot of stupid tax in the way that I handled romantic relationships in high school. God was gracious and protected me from me in a lot of ways. But I, like, got all these snapshots into their lives and into their families. And over and over again, I was like, theirs is not like mine, you know?
**Mark:** And then when Alyssa and I got together in college and I was, like, living with dudes that were trying to pursue Jesus in a Bible college, that was really when it was like, oh, this is way different. And you don't even know, right? Like, you're just talking and it's sort of organically happening what you were talking about with cohorts. Where you're talking about something from your childhood or whatever. And you're like, oh, yeah, you remember when this happened to you too, right? This happens to all of us.
**Phil:** And somebody's like, no, that is not normal, you know? And so I think it was pretty eye-opening for me. There were things about my upbringing that... That probably were sooner than that. You know, if you don't know my story, when I was eight and my brother was 16, he ran away from home for 15 years. And as an eight-year-old, it was like, oh, this is a big deal, but I'm sure it won't be forever. Like, I'm sure he'll resurface, whatever.
**Mark:** And probably by early high school, I knew that my family felt like that was a deeply shameful thing that we should keep a secret.
**Phil:** Oh.
**Mark:** And so then I was like, oh, I don't really talk about this openly. And people would say to me like, hey, so how many brothers and sisters do you have? And I'm sure that there were times I said, I have one brother and one sister. And like just essentially deleted him from the way that I described my family. Out of that like sort of projected sense of shame that I'm sure I was largely putting on myself.
**Phil:** So I think it happened in stages for me. But I also think that if you are married, all of us, I think when we get married, realize how different our like... Like family of origins are because, you know, you handle conflict differently in your marriage probably than your spouse or their family did or than your family did. Or like one of you has a set of patterns of behavior and normal routine that to you is like, of course, who doesn't do it this way?
**Mark:** Well, it turns out you married someone who doesn't do it that way, you know? Maybe you just decided to live with somebody before you got married, which I do not recommend. But like you had the same thing happen. And so I think... I think there are like a number of these little milestone moments where as we intertwine our stories, we realize how unique our stories are.
**Phil:** Well, and this talk was kind of unique, right? Where we're doing like kind of a launch of a series, launch of sort of fall, launch of this key initiative for becoming a storytelling culture as a church, group connect weekend. Like it was, you know, it's kind of an announcement sandwich a little bit as a message. And so you're trying to figure out how do I do all these things in a way that feels cohesive?
**Mark:** Right.
**Phil:** And if you're like, Phil, you did a great job. Thanks so much.
**Mark:** That's really kind.
**Phil:** And if you're thinking, yeah, it felt like that. It was really disjointed. I am so sorry. But I think trying to layer in, you know, we heard Matt's story.
**Mark:** Yeah.
**Phil:** That's awesome. She's incredible. Like if you've never met her, she is incredible. Like she just exudes joy like all the time. So fun. Like I'm so thankful to God for Matt that we got to have her even around this summer as like an intern for us.
**Mark:** Yeah, dude. So incredible.
**Phil:** Like it's just who she is. Uh, so really fun to hear her story. And I hope that it was like a reminder to people that other people are listening all the time for her to come to Menlo because she wanted to come to a church in America, uh, from a kid on the bus. Like that's just such a crazy God moment thing of like, and I love it when people, part of their story of coming to church is they asked, Hey, is it okay if I, can I come to church with you? Something like she invited herself. Like it's incredible.
**Mark:** It was incredible.
**Phil:** Yeah. So, uh, to be able to kind of launch off. The point of saying, Hey, stories matter when God's writing your story, even if you don't think so, he really is. Um, and so one of the ways that we're trying to capture that as a church is to help people think about and capture their stories personally. And so we talked about a tool that we've released that you can find online, um, that hopefully is helpful. Uh, we actually, there's like a, a tool that we use for internal communication that we made a little easier for you to find.
**Mark:** Uh, this week, if you go to menlo.church slash connect, there's like a curated list of announcements and all these resources and stuff.
**Phil:** Uh, it's the thing that when you scan a QR code at one of our campuses, it's that link. Uh, and so that tool is there if you want to check it out. Uh, and we talked about how do you, how do you, how do you write that down? How do you do that? And really inviting people over the course of this series to do that. We also have some fun ideas to help capture those stories even more than that, uh, afterwards.
**Mark:** And I, I think your story holds a lot of power for others, but I'm going to not preach next week's message.
**Phil:** So, um, and, and so then we, we talked about the fact that, uh, even when there are problems in our life, there's greater power in our story than the problems in our situation. Um, and you know, as somebody that experienced trauma as a child, um, you know, one of the, one of the things you walk through in therapy is that, um, when you are living in survival, you can't cultivate.
**Mark:** Like.
**Phil:** You're. You're not thinking about margin. You're not thinking about like, what's, what's a safe relationship. What do I want to think about for the future? Uh, when you're living in trauma, you're literally just trying to survive that day. Like the time horizon for your decision-making gets super short. And so, uh, I think hopefully helping people to believe that there's a story beyond their situation. There's a story that has greater power than their problems, uh, encourages them to think beyond that.
**Mark:** Not.
**Phil:** And I would say, you know, if you're listening to this and you're in a situation that's not safe, please reach out. We have resources. We want to be able to connect you, uh, to care whether that's, you know, through Menlo through additional partners. Like I don't want anybody, whether you're a student listening or an adult listening, uh, we don't want anybody to have to live, uh, in that place of trauma.
**Mark:** But I think even if it's not capital T trauma, we all just have hurts and pains and problems in our life that can do that same thing. If we're not careful, we're, we just kind of go, how can I survive today? How can I survive this week? And I think capturing our story really comes back to, can I trust God for a longer time and believe that his faithfulness in the past can project his faithfulness for the future.
**Phil:** And then we, we spent some time walking through a text in second Corinthians. Uh, that's like just a fun kind of nerdy text because you read it and it just feels like this kind of metaphor that Paul is talking about. Like, oh, are we beginning to commend ourselves? Again, or do we need a, some, uh, letters of recommendation to you or from you?
**Mark:** And so I tried to spend some time without totally nerding out going, why is he saying that? Like what was happening in the culture of the day?
**Phil:** Uh, well, they, his opponents were using these like fabricated and exaggerated letters of recommendation to get a hearing and he calls them peddlers of the gospel. Um, and instead of saying, here's our letters, he's going, you are our letters church at Corinth. Like we've been in your life. And the letter was written, uh, it was the, the, the letter, the message of the letter is Jesus, uh, the ink of the, this is amazing. The ink of the letter is the Holy Spirit. Uh, the tablet is your heart.
**Mark:** And Paul's basically saying, I'm the pen, I'm the instrument of God, that the message of Jesus flowing through the ink of the Holy Spirit onto the tablet of your heart. God used me as the instrument.
**Phil:** And you're like, okay, Paul, like you just hear, you just hear his opponents like, okay, I guess.
**Mark:** Yeah, this guy, it's, you know, and so, uh, we talked a little bit about like the reason that that could happen, like the reason that he could do that, that they could say that is because he has been living his story in their life and they've been living their story in his life. Like it's intertwined, they have trust for each other and that's what sharing our stories does. It allows us to live in fellowship or connection community, uh, with each other.
**Phil:** And so, um, and then we talked about a tool of mapping our journey through, um, some kind of icons and a timeline. Uh, whether you do that through the tools that we've provided, or you just get out a piece of paper, uh, I hope that was helpful and it let me use the touchscreen in a different way.
**Mark:** Um, and so, uh, yeah, just giving some tools and don't feel limited by any of those. Like if you have other icons that you go, oh, here's one, I want to make like a little dumpster that's on fire and put that at that part of my life, go nuts. Like it's yours.
**Phil:** Uh, but I think creating that map and putting some of those little mile markers along, it can be really helpful because we're just pretty forgetful.
**Mark:** Yeah.
**Phil:** We're forgetful of the circumstances of our life. Um, we're forgetful of God's faithfulness in our life. There's lots of ways that for God's people, Israel, God built things in for them to be reminded. So much of the calendar, uh, for the Jewish people was about annualized reminders of God's faithfulness to Israel because they were often in cultures that were not Jewish cultures.
**Mark:** So the, all these like feasts and festivals and days, uh, they existed so that people would go, oh yeah, God's faithful. You know? And if you think about it today, we really only have two of those left, Christmas and Easter.
**Phil:** And so, uh, I think sometimes our doing that mapping can be like this really beautiful thing where you can create honestly, like your own reminders. And so I have reminders on my calendar. I have reminders of God's faithfulness of different things in my life to be able to every year go like, oh yeah, God, this is, man, this is 10 years from that. This is 15 years from that.
**Mark:** Um, and so I hope it's helpful with that. So, and then we, uh, we finished by, uh, talking about life groups that if this is true, uh, then what do we do? And, uh, we talked about this idea that circles are better than rows and at Menlo, we call our circles life groups and life groups are these mid-sized groups, usually between eight and 16 people that meet in homes throughout the Bay area to grow closer to God in a smaller community.
**Phil:** Uh, and I think that there are some people that coming to Menlo for a large gathering is a stretch. Uh, and then I think for a lot of people doing this. Like stepping into a life group can be really intimidating. Uh, and so we just wanted to help make this week, uh, demystify that a little bit.
**Mark:** So explaining it, making the signup for more information easier, talking about Menlo next, this kind of three week environment that lets you try it before you buy it with groups, uh, putting some groups, uh, putting some group leaders at campuses so that if you have questions, you can just like go immediately get answers, uh, from people that do not get a paycheck.
**Phil:** Like they are, they are just, uh, satisfied members. Uh, and so, uh, yeah, I hope that all that stuff queued things up for people to say, Hey, Menlo doesn't just have to be the place, uh, that I know it can be the place that I'm known. And that vehicle is usually life groups.
**Mark:** Yeah, I think that we are just really forgetful people. I mean, I think all of us are. And so if God did it with Israel, where they had all these little highlights that existed throughout the year to remind them of God's faithfulness, what would it look like for us to take that principle and apply it to our lives?
**Phil:** So, Hey, what was the day that you got baptized? What was the day you made a decision to follow Jesus? What was the day? Maybe you baptized your kid. What was the day you got married? Hopefully you got that one on your calendar already. What was the day? What was the day that you go, and it's been this many years since I had an active struggle with this addiction? What was the day that God delivered?
**Mark:** You know, if you think about that over the course of your lifetime, your calendar can get pretty crowded with just like, oh man, I have 30 things over the course of a year that remind me over and over and over again of God's faithfulness. And whatever I face in the day ahead, that reminder of that day or that week can be a future reminder to say, if God did that then, I didn't think he could then. If God did that then, he can do it now.
**Phil:** Yeah, well, I will admit, I don't know if I've said this on the podcast before, there was a season I really didn't like Paul. So, when I was in Bible college, so Paul is probably the most comprehensive, especially through Romans, but also Galatians, Ephesians, in talking about how God saves people, or the theological category is soteriology.
**Mark:** And I had grown up in a church that really didn't talk about that very much, and I had a bunch of assumptions about the way I thought that it worked. And so, I thought, man. And, you know, God loves everybody, and so everybody has sort of equal opportunity to choose God, and some people figure it out, and some people don't figure it out, but God's a perfect gentleman, and He'll never force Himself on anybody.
**Phil:** And some of you, I'm like describing your theology right now, so get ready to be uncomfortable, because Paul says, actually, it's by grace that we've been saved through faith, not as a result of our works, including the work of being able to personally figure it out, so that no one can boast. He says that, actually, it was before the foundation. It was before the foundations of the world that God set us apart.
**Mark:** And so, it was like, wait a second. Before the foundations of the world, I wasn't saying or deciding anything, you know? And then we spent some time in Romans 8, and it was those He called, He foreknew, or those He foreknew, He called. Those He called, He predestined. Those He predestined, He justified and sanctified and glorified.
**Phil:** There's this kind of highway of salvation that I'm paraphrasing, that it's very clear that there is, at a minimum, a tension. In soteriology, in my opinion, between God's sovereignty, He's in control, and human responsibility. And every time that we see the ability for New Testament authors of the Bible to sort of unwind that tension and go, no, this is the way it works, don't do this, no, no, no, they tighten it.
**Mark:** Every time.
**Phil:** There's like a divine mystery and tension between God's sovereignty, He's involved, He's doing some stuff, and our responsibility. And I just hated it. Like, my way of thinking about it felt so... It felt so simple, it felt so easy, and I was like, yeah, that's the way it should work.
**Mark:** Now, I would argue that the way I thought about it was rooted in a deep sense of pride. Because for me, it was like, well, I'm a Christian, and I didn't really think about the fact, well, does that mean that somebody that's not a Christian, I think I'm better than them? Because I figured this out. I think I'm smarter than them, because I figured this out. How do I understand and treat other people?
**Phil:** And then what's the pressure that I put on myself in relationship with other people around the message of the gospel? Well, if I understand that God's... That God's involved, that He's working in that person, that He's ultimately the one in control, then I can go, God, I'm just gonna be faithful.
**Mark:** Like, you're writing this way bigger story. I can tell my story, I can share the gospel, and I don't have to be responsible for the fruit.
**Phil:** God's asking me to plant seeds so that there's a root. That's all He's asking me to do. And so it was like, honestly, probably the better part of a year in undergrad where I was working this tension out. And I remember a moment kind of laying in my bed and just like, honestly, like pretty torn up.
**Mark:** And just feeling like the Holy Spirit said, are you gonna worship God for the way that He is and have the way He's revealed Himself or the way you want Him to be?
**Phil:** And it was just this like kind of milestone moment for me to say, okay, this is like, I believe this is what the scriptures say. I'm gonna choose to submit myself to them rather than ask them to submit themselves to me.
**Mark:** And so from there on, it became much easier for me to respect and see Paul's story, an imperfect person that God used in some incredible ways. And, you know, many of you know this, but, you know, the Apostle Paul's story wasn't like he was a choir boy and then just grew up and became a New Testament writer.
**Phil:** Paul likely in that culture had been, I mean, we know this for sure. He was born in a Jewish home. He followed all the Jewish rules. He says literally the hundreds of them, like from what would be considered the age of accountability within Judaism, he'd been following them perfectly. He would have been hand tapped. Probably at the age of eight or nine as the guy that's like, hey, he's really sharp. He gets it.
**Mark:** And so he goes into essentially a rabbinical residency program to become a rabbi. Not only is he like crushing it there, he becomes a Pharisee, which is like Jewish special forces. He memorizes likely the entire Old Testament. Try that.
**Phil:** He's not only like passionate about following the rules, not only passionate about understanding the text, but he's so passionate that this early on, he's like, I'm gonna do this. This early movement of followers of Jesus, what they would have called followers of the way, represented a threat to the system that he'd given his whole life for.
**Mark:** And so we have evidence both within the scriptures and beyond them that the Apostle Paul, also named Saul, was responsible for persecuting the early church, including having Christians murdered, executed for their faith. And then he's like on the road somewhere.
**Phil:** And then a resurrected Jesus blinds him and knocks him off of a horse, talks to him, and Paul's like, oh my gosh, I've made a massive mistake, right? And if that's all that it was, that's a killer story, right? Like if that's where Paul's story ends, we're all still talking about it.
**Mark:** But God used him to really be a missionary to the Gentiles, which is crazy because he was like super Jewish, right? And so he becomes this missionary to the Gentiles based on his capacity from where he'd been. God used all of what his story had been to where he was going.
**Phil:** And he advocated in a way that moved the gospel beyond Jerusalem, beyond Judea to the uttermost. And the capacity that he had to write, his own background of literacy and his own ability to weave in arguments, we just see it so consistently and thoughtfully throughout the New Testament.
**Mark:** He was so prolific that even then in his likely martyrdom, we have all this captured story of his involvement of missionary journey after missionary journey. This investment of a young guy named Timothy, his care for churches, like the church at Corinth, that would have been pretty easy to give up on, and he just like, he just never quit.
**Phil:** I mean, it was like, he had this appetite to make up for the lost time, and I've heard, this is gonna make me cry, like I've heard this about Paul, that when Paul crossed into eternity, people that he martyred were there to welcome him.
**Mark:** And you're just like, what?
**Phil:** And you're like, that's the gospel. That's the gospel.
**Mark:** And so, yeah, I think Paul, to me, like he went from a guy that I just thought, how could you possibly say that? That makes me so uncomfortable to, oh my gosh, what a humbling reality.
**Phil:** Because for me, the theology that I'm talking about, which is the theology of Menlo, we have a big tent, not everybody is this way, but the theology of Menlo at its core is reformed theologically. And so it's bigger than just soteriology, but reformed theologically.
**Mark:** Theology is, I should never be arrogant or prideful about knowing Jesus, because it wasn't ultimately me that did it.
**Phil:** Like it was all grace. I didn't figure this out on my own. And so to be able to say, but for the grace of God, so go I. If it wasn't for God's intervention, I would have never figured this out. Before the foundation of the world, he set me aside. Like I didn't deserve any of that.
**Mark:** And are there questions that that brings up? Of course there are questions that that brings up. And some of those we can... We can talk about and extrapolate, and some of those will be reserved for eternity. There's a great book, I think it's by D.A. Carson, called The Difficult Doctrine of the Love of God.
**Phil:** And so if you're like, I am so uncomfortable by what you're saying, Phil, but I weirdly want to know more, go pick that book up. It's thin and heavy at the same time.
**Mark:** Yeah, totally.
**Phil:** Well, I think... One of it is don't feel like your way of sharing life with people has to be my way or Mark's way. I think it's easy. We're doing some kind of unique gatherings right now across Menlo, and I'm seeking feedback for some stuff, and so I'm saying to people, like, hey, I know some of you are internal processors and you need time to be able to think through this, and that's okay.
**Mark:** For some of you, you're like, I'm not as extroverted as it seems like you and Mark are.
**Phil:** I'm actually not as extroverted as you probably think I am either, but be you. For you, you're like, you know what? I really love doing stuff. What's helpful for me to share life and get to know people is over an activity. Cool. What's that activity? Do that activity, right?
**Mark:** One of the things that my wife does with ladies at Menlo is they read books together, right? It gives them this kind of common jumping off point. It's a shared activity that's easy to... It's a shared experience. I think that probably lots of us have that, but I also think give yourself permission.
**Phil:** You probably, if you're married, maybe some people this is the case, but you probably did not marry the first girl that you were ever attracted to or the first guy that you were ever attracted to. You had to figure out if there was chemistry, and you had to figure out, like, does this make sense?
**Mark:** I would say even in a life group, think about it a little bit like a relational speed dating. Like, if you try a life group and you go, this isn't it, cool. I mean, give it more than five minutes before you make that decision, but that's okay. Try another one and try another one. I think just because it's not worked once before doesn't mean it can't work.
**Phil:** And then I said this this weekend, but if it's been a while since you've been in community, it's time to regroup. It's time to say, like, I'm going to give it a shot again, and I think one of the things that was really hard for Alyssa and I in choosing a life group...
**Mark:** Yeah.
**Phil:** ...to reengage community after COVID was we had community around us, not everyone at all, but there were a couple of people inside the community around us that really, it felt like they deeply, personally betrayed us. They became, like, very, very outspoken that they felt like I was not taking the political stand that they wanted me to take.
**Mark:** And I mean, like, trashing me on the internet. Like, people that were in our home. Like, we knew. We prayed for them. We knew their family. We'd been in their home. And it was really hard after that to be like, gosh, like, unless we can guarantee that somebody's not going to do that same stupid stuff again, like, maybe we just don't do this.
**Phil:** And it's like, well, that's not a way to live. And so is it possible that someone's going to do that again in the future? Yeah. And we're still going to choose community because living in the fear of that and choosing to not live in community because community has sometimes hurt, that's a terrible strategy.
**Mark:** Now, do we have different boundaries today than we did then?
**Phil:** Yeah, for sure. And do we think differently about kind of who and how and when? Well, of course, you learn lessons, but I hope we're always willing to say, like, if God loves people and is willing to engage in relationship, relationship that he was willing to die to restore, I just think it's probably important for us to prioritize that in our own lives.
**Mark:** That's great.
**Phil:** Yeah, I mean, I think that, you know, I mentioned, like, tent revivals earlier, and I think a lot of people, when they think about if you've been a Christian for a long time, especially for multiple generations, you have these pictures of what it looks like for people to meet Jesus or even to, like, share the gospel, and I would say that really now, in our moment, especially in our community, we're learning more about what it means to be a storyteller.
**Mark:** In our culture, it's sort of the dual relationship between hospitality and storytelling are really the ways we share the gospel, right? Like, we epitomize it. And so, what does it look like to have people in your life or to have people in your home or to be kind and gracious and present and hospitable, and then to be able to not only share your story, but to, like, invite other people and hold their story, right?
**Phil:** I feel like sometimes when people tell me their story, I see... Like, even unchurched people, I see God all over their story, and they don't yet, and I'm just like, be cool, Phil, be cool, be cool, because I just... I'm like, man, God is... Like, he is working right now. And so, I just want to stay close enough to them to... I'm not trying to push anything down their throat. I'm just trying to be in life with them, and they know what I believe, and I'm happy to share it, but I think that idea of, like, hospitality and storytelling is such a vehicle towards not only reminding us that church is a terrible hobby, like, we're in this thing because God transforms people.
**Mark:** Because he wants to be able to do that with even more people, to be able to bring the kingdom of heaven into the hearts of the world, and stories, I think, are the canvas with which he does that.
**Phil:** So, I hope that becomes really normative, that, like, when you get into a group, right, we have this cooked into kind of these Menlo cohort experiences that we're beta testing with our staff right now, but when maybe you start a group or you're in your own experience, it just becomes natural at Menlo to say, all right, everybody, like, let's hear a little bit. Tell me your story. Tell me your story.
**Mark:** And we have a version, right? Like, we all probably have a version of our story that's a minute. We all have a version of our story that's five minutes, and you probably have a version of your story that's an hour.
**Phil:** And some of it is just, like, doing the work to articulate your story that way. And I hope this series helps us to start doing that. You know, I do hope that people say yes to community and groups through this. For some of you, you chose to do that this last weekend. It's not too late to choose that. It's never too late to choose that.
**Mark:** But I would also say, for some of you, it's never too late to choose that. For some of you, you need to try it before you buy it. And so that's what Menlo Next is, is a three-week environment for people to be able to say, all right, I'm going to try it before I buy it. I'm going to dip my toes in.
**Phil:** And so, yeah, if you go to menlo.church.com and click on the Menlo Next link, it starts on Wednesdays, September 4th, at all of our campuses. It would be great for you to be able to experience that, learn a little bit more about Menlo, share a piece of your story, hear some other people share some of theirs, and maybe, just maybe, say yes to group life because of it.
**Mark:** And then, you know, I think it's hard to beat Baptism Weekend. And so if part of your story is, I've made a decision to follow Jesus in recent days, baptism is really, it's this external sign of inward change when people who follow Jesus get baptized.
**Phil:** And so if that's you, if you feel like God's stirring you to get baptized for the first time as a follower of Jesus, it could be a really, really good step and kind of milestone for you at Menlo.
**Mark:** So.
**Phil:** Yeah, I think there's some of this that we can kind of go, oh man, I hope God does all that. And then I hope God does more with it than we can ask, think, or imagine. I hope that because people learn to tell their stories, there's just like ways people are being intentional with the way they're hearing other people and showing up well in relationships too.
**Mark:** Definitely.
**Phil:** And I would say there's lots of opportunities for you to be involved in activities and do cool stuff.
**Mark:** Yes.
**Phil:** And there, there's pretty much an unlimited ceiling of the amount of time you can spend on any and all of that. Right. There's like, it used to be there's a sport and now there's like a sport and there's the off season and there's club sports.
**Mark:** And I think it can become really easy, especially as we get older.
**Phil:** To think, well, I just don't have time for that. I did that when I was younger and I would just say, man, more than anything, even if you go talk to people that did sports and it was a great experience, the thing they remember is the community of people around them.
**Mark:** And so I want you to be able to be in those environments. I also think it's important for you to think, what does it look like for me to prioritize a faith community? What does it mean for me to have people around me, you know, in student ministry, I was used to say, show me your faith. Show me your friends and I'll show you your future, that your future is shaped by the five closest people near you.
**Phil:** And so, uh, for you right now, if you're kind of wondering, or you have a student and you're like, man, the five jokers around him or her, I'm not sure that I want the future looking like that.
**Mark:** Um, story's important. I want you to be in those relationships and be able to positively invest in them. But if you're the one person trying to pursue Jesus in a community of people who aren't, I promise you they're going to pull you down a lot more than you're going to pull them up.
**Phil:** You need a base. You need a group of students that love Jesus and love you. So that from that base, from the overflow of what God's doing in you, you can show up with integrity and conviction and love everywhere you live.
**Mark:** So, um, yeah, student ministry is so cool. I miss it. Actually. I like if I had free time, I would just do it.
**Phil:** Um, but I, I love, we have a couple of students, uh, in our home that are involved and invested. We really believe in it. And it's really fun to see all that kind of fire back up.
**Mark:** Awesome.
on Aug 28, 2024
