The Power of Words: Taming the Tongue

### Bible Study Discussion Guide

#### Bible Reading
1. James 3:1-12 (ESV)
2. Matthew 12:36-37 (ESV)
3. Luke 6:45 (ESV)

#### Observation Questions
1. What metaphors does James use in chapter 3 to describe the power of the tongue?
2. According to James 3:1, why should not many people become teachers?
3. What does Jesus say in Matthew 12:36-37 about the accountability of our words?
4. How does Luke 6:45 connect the condition of the heart to the words we speak?

#### Interpretation Questions
1. Why does James emphasize the stricter judgment for teachers? How does this relate to the power of words?
2. What does it mean when James says the tongue is a "fire" and a "world of unrighteousness"? How can this understanding impact our daily conversations?
3. How does the concept of "wisdom from above" in James 3:17-18 help us in taming our tongues?
4. In what ways do our words reveal the state of our hearts, as mentioned in Luke 6:45?

#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a recent conversation where your words may have caused harm. How could you have applied the T.H.I.N.K. acronym (True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind) to improve that interaction?
2. James 3:8 states that no human being can tame the tongue. How can you seek divine help in controlling your speech? What specific prayers or practices can you incorporate into your daily routine?
3. Think about a time when you received hurtful words. How did it affect you? How can this experience guide you in being more mindful of the words you use with others?
4. The sermon mentioned the importance of seeking "wisdom from above." What steps can you take to cultivate this wisdom in your life? How can you ensure your words reflect God's love and truth?
5. Identify a person in your life who often brings out negative speech in you. What strategies can you use to respond with grace and wisdom in future interactions with them?
6. How can you practice speaking life and encouragement into the lives of those around you this week? Share a specific example of how you plan to do this.
7. Reflect on the idea that our words can either build up or tear down. What changes can you make in your communication to ensure you are building up others, especially in challenging situations?

Day 1: The Weight of Words
Our words carry significant weight and influence, capable of building up or tearing down. James emphasizes that teachers, in particular, will be judged more strictly, highlighting the responsibility that comes with the power of words. This serves as a reminder for all of us to be mindful of what we say, recognizing the potential impact on others. James uses vivid metaphors, comparing the tongue to a bit in a horse's mouth, a rudder on a ship, and a small spark that can set a forest ablaze. These illustrations underscore the immense power of our words despite their small size. He warns that the tongue is a "fire" and a "world of unrighteousness," capable of causing great harm. [50:09]

James 3:1-2 (ESV): "Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body."

Reflection: Think of a recent conversation where your words had a significant impact, either positive or negative. How can you be more mindful of the weight of your words in future interactions?


Day 2: The Untameable Tongue
James vividly describes the tongue as a fire, a world of unrighteousness, and a restless evil full of deadly poison. Despite its small size, the tongue can cause immense harm. While humans can tame all kinds of animals, no one can tame the tongue on their own. This underscores our need for divine help in controlling our speech. James points out that while humans can tame all kinds of animals, no one can tame the tongue on their own—it is a restless evil full of deadly poison. [01:00:17]

James 3:7-8 (ESV): "For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison."

Reflection: Reflect on a time when your words caused harm. How can you seek God's help to control your tongue and speak words that bring life and healing?


Day 3: Words Reveal the Heart
Our words are a reflection of what is in our hearts. James connects this idea to Jesus' teaching that good people say good things because of the good stored in their hearts, while evil people say evil things because of the evil in their hearts. This calls for a heart check, ensuring that our words align with the love and truth of God. [01:14:39]

Luke 6:45 (ESV): "The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks."

Reflection: Examine your recent conversations. What do your words reveal about the state of your heart? How can you align your heart more closely with God's love and truth?


Day 4: Wisdom from Above
James contrasts earthly wisdom with wisdom from above. Earthly wisdom is marked by jealousy, selfish ambition, and disorder, while wisdom from above is pure, peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy, good fruits, impartial, and sincere. Seeking this divine wisdom is essential for taming our tongues and ensuring our words reflect God's will. [01:19:09]

James 3:17-18 (ESV): "But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace."

Reflection: In what areas of your life do you need to seek wisdom from above? How can you apply this divine wisdom to your speech and interactions with others?


Day 5: Think Before You Speak
We are encouraged to think before we speak, using the acronym T.H.I.N.K. to guide our words: Is it True? Is it Helpful? Is it Inspiring? Is it Necessary? Is it Kind? This practice helps ensure that our words build up rather than tear down, reflecting the wisdom from above and honoring God in our speech. [01:30:22]

Proverbs 15:28 (ESV): "The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things."

Reflection: Before your next conversation, take a moment to think through the T.H.I.N.K. acronym. How can this practice help you speak words that build up and honor God?

All right.All right, here we go.We are jumping into James chapter three today.I hope you've been enjoyingthis kind of slow walk through the book of James.It's actually something that we plan to do more ofin the future, just taking a book of the Bibleand just slowly walking through it chapter by chapter.So I hope you've been getting something out of this.But we chose James specificallyas kind of the starting point for thisbecause James is really,it's the how-to book for Christian living.So James doesn't talk so much about how we get saved.He really talks about what happens after.Like now that you're saved,how do you live like a Christian?In fact, James in his book has over 50 imperativesor 50 directives that he gives usin only about 108 verses,which means every other verse,James is telling us to do something with our faith.And it really becomes our guide.It's five chapters worth of giving usjust practical wisdomfor how to live as a Christian.So it's probably a really important bookfor all of us to read and to study and to understand,but really to apply into our lives.And so what we're gonna do today is we're,it's gonna be a little bit different.We're actually just gonna walk through verse by versethe entire chapter of James.We're gonna read it all togetherand it's gonna be lovely.I'm gonna give you commentaryand I'm gonna add context to things,but we're just gonna walk through this whole chapter.Sound good?All right, you guys are way more excited about thisthan first service.You had your coffee already.That's what it was, right?All right, so James chapter three,starting in verse one,we're gonna be readingfrom the English Standard Version today.And it says,not many of you should become teachers, my brothers,for you know that we who teachwill be judged with greater strictness.It's a great verse to readwhen you're standing on a stage teaching people.Like, oh, and trust me,this verse is in the back of my mindevery time I'm preaching.But a couple of things I wanna point out.First of all, he addresses it to his brothers, okay?And this is not a gender-specific thing.This is to talk to believers.And so all of James,but specifically James chapter three,he's emphasizing that he is writingto fellow Christians, fellow believers.And you may have a temptation todayor as you go through Jamesto think he's talking about other people's problems,but he's not.He's talking about Christian problems.He's talking about problems within the church.He's talking about your problems.And my problems.And so we can't just ignore itthinking he's talking about somebody elsebecause he goes out of his wayto let you know he's talking about you.And then of course he has here,not many of you should become teachers.And this is there most likelybecause James is addressing an issue within the church.That at the beginning of the church,there was a leadership vacuum.There was a teacher vacuum.And so a lot of people were trying to step into that roleeven without any qualifications or callingor giftedness.And so he was attempting to step into that role.And it was getting kind of chaotic.In fact, that's why so much of the New Testamentwarns against false teachers, okay?And so he's addressing a known issue.And most likely some of these peoplethat were stepping up genuinely thoughtthat they were wiseand had something to teach everybody.James would probably look at them and say,you're just immature in your faith, right?You ever met anybody like thatthat thought they were really wise?And you're like, man, you got some growing up to dobefore you're really wise.Well, that was probably happening.There was also probably a group of peoplethat were stepping into this roleto try and get the benefits of it.That there was at that time,the view of teachers was just a high view.It was like a status symbol.And so they were trying to attain the notorietyand the fame of being a good teacher,even though they didn't have the spiritual giftingof being a teacherand nobody had called them to teach.And a lot of times their characterprobably wasn't supporting,their lifestyle wasn't supportingChristian character and values.So James is telling them, calm down with all that, okay?And it's actually, it's something really importantfor us to understand is that James is not sayingthat nobody should be a teacher.He's just saying that we should approach that rolewith some reverence, with some respect,because if we're gonna talk the talk, guess what?Jesus expects you to walk the walk, right?So it's not something you just step into blindly,but it is a role that is much needed in the church.Not just on this stage,but it's needed in our kids' classrooms.It's needed in our youth ministry.It's needed in our small groups.It's really anywhere the church goes,anything the church does,we need strong Bible teachers, okay?So it's an important role,but just be careful how you treat that roleand why you go into it.But really what I think James is doing hereis actually a brilliant tacticthat we see him do in other places.He's addressing a known, easy to spot issueso that he can tie it to something that is unknown.So he's giving them,this, hey, y'all know that there's some bad teachers.We're gonna address that.But then he ties it into an issuethat more people are suffering,but don't necessarily know that they're in the wrong on it.So he's pointing out the obviousto talk about the not so obvious.And we're gonna see what that not so obvious thing isin the next verse.James continues,for we all stumble in many ways.So who's gonna stumble?Is that include you and me?Yes, it does.All right, and how many ways are we gonna stumble?Like,he says a bunch of stuff.Like, thank you, James, for the encouragement.He's such an encourager, this James.And then he says,if anyone does not stumble in what he says,you might wanna highlight, circle, underline, star,that phrase in your Biblebecause it's really important for James chapter three.He says, if somebody doesn't stumble in what he says,then he is a perfect man able also to bridle his whole body.Now, what does the Bible say about perfect people?They don't exist.Like, this may come as a shocker,but I'm not perfect.You're not perfect.And I think we understand that, right?And the Greek word for perfect here,it means to be finished, to be complete,to have reached the end, right?It implies this full growth and maturity.And guess what?None of us have reached the end yet, right?We're all still a work in progress.So we're not perfect yet, okay?But what James does is really interestingbecause he ties your perfection and my perfectionnot to the things we do,he doesn't tie it to how well we avoid sin.What does he tie perfection to?What comes out of your mouth.And that should be a little bit alarming for all of us, right?Like, that should be a concern.We should pay attention nowbecause how many of you in the room have a mouththat likes to get them in trouble?Is it just me?Am I the only one?Like, you have those moments where you're like,I should not have said that.Or you have that moment where you're like,man, I just, I wish I could have said that differently.Right?Well, if you're thinking thator if you've had that moment this week, guess what?James chapter three is for you.It's great.And if you're sitting hereand you haven't had one of those momentsin the last week or so,then two options,either A, in James's word, you are perfect.I love you, but I doubt it.Or option B,you're just not paying attentionto the words coming out of your mouth.And there's probably somebody sitting next to you going,this guy really needs to watch what they say.And so,James tells us we gotta be carefulof the words that we say.And then he continues in verse three.If we put bits into the mouths of horsesso that they obey us,we guide their whole bodies as well.Look at the ships also.Though they're so largeand are driven by strong winds,they are guided, again,by a very small rudderwherever the will of the pilot directs.So also the tongue is a small member,yet it boasts of great things.So you got a bit in a horse's mouth,you got a rudder on a ship,and you got the tongue in your mouth.All three of them,relatively small things,but contain great powerbecause they guide our lives.And so who you are todayis actually a direct resultof the words you speak.And the words that somebody elsehas spoken to you,good or bad.So the second time I ever preached,we won't talk about the first timebecause it was a wild story.I was on a mission tripwith my parents to Brazil,and they had me preachto a group of pastors.I was like 17.It was awful.It was so bad.Like, I don't knowwhat you guys were thinking,why you would do that to them,not even just to me,but to subject those people to that.That was just awful.I had no idea what I was doing.So then I went and I took a classon how to preach.And as a kind of a conclusionof the course,we had to preach a 20-minute sermonto our classmatesand to the instructors.And so I got up there,I delivered my 20-minute sermon,sat back down.I was waiting for themto do kind of the evaluation,the evaluation process.And while I was waiting,somebody that I thoughtwas a friendcame up to meand said,wow, Brent,I didn't think I could listento your voice for 20 minutes,but that wasn't that bad.And you know what happenedthat day for Brent?I developed a complexabout my voicebecause up until that moment,I didn't know my voicewas somethingI should be worried about.I didn't,I was worried about the content.I wasn't worriedabout my voice.And now I feel likeI owe you an apologybecause today you're goingto listen to mefor 40 minutes,not 20.I'm so sorry.Like now I hear my voiceand I'm like,they're right.It's bad.I'm so sorry.Like it changed somethingand somethingthat I wasn't worried about.Now I'm hyper conscious of.And I got storyafter storyafter storyof somethingsomeone said to methat has shaped who I am,good or bad.And my guess isyou've got just as many storiesor even more storiesthan I dobecause guess what?Words have power,which means what you say matters.So James,if you couldn't tell yet,James is kind of a bad newsfirst kind of guy.Like he just,he rips that bandaid offlike so fast,so hard,like no grace whatsoever.But I love James for that.And so what happens hereis James is going to give youmore and moreand more bad newsbefore he gives you good news.So brace yourself.All right?That's your warning.James 3, 5, and 6.How great a forestis set ablazeby such a small fire.And the tongue is a what?It's a fire.It's a world of unrighteousness.Uh-oh.That's a problembecause we all have one of those.It means there's a worldof unrighteousnesssitting in our mouths.Somebody smarter than meonce said thatyour words create worlds.And I think that's true,but you know what else is true?Your words can destroy worlds.It doesn't just create,it also destroys.In fact,your words can set fireto relationships.Your words can set fireto jobs.Your words can set fireto opportunities.Your words can set fireeven to your very witnessto others as a Christian.Your words can be destructive.It gets worse.The tongue is set among our members,staining the whole body.Your whole body is messed upbecause of your tongue.Setting on firethe entire course of life.Your whole life can be messed upbecause of your tongue.And then he says,it is a fire set on fire by hell.Like James does not play.He is not messing around.He's looking at you going,your tongue is a fire straight from hell.It's like, well, all right then.Thank you for that encouragement today, James.But he's right.Every word you say,every word you speakis serving one of two agendas.It's serving God's agendaor it's serving the devil's.It's serving heavenor it's serving hell.Every word that comes out of your mouth.So who do your words serve?Are your words aligning you with Godor are your words aligning you with Satan?And some of you are thinking,oh, come on, Brent.It's just words.It ain't that serious.Calm down a little bit.Can I just remind youof this really, really,really famous momentbetween Jesus and Peter?It's found in Matthew.Matthew chapter 16if you need a refresher for it.But Jesus looks at Peter and says,get thee behind me, Satan.Anybody remember that one?You read that before?Trivia question for you.Was that in response to something Peter didor was that in response to something Peter said?Oh, you're seeing it now, right?Your words can betray your allegiances.And then James has some worse news for us.If it could get any worse,here it is.For every kind of beast and bird of reptileand sea creature can be tamedand has been tamed by mankind,but no human being can tame the tongue.It is a restless evil full of deadly poison.So this is a problem.And we're gonna come backto this no human being can tame itbecause that's a big issue.We're gonna come back to that in a second.But let's talk about the restless evil,this deadly poison.Just so that you are fully,fully on board with the factthat your tongue is a problem, okay?There are some poisonous wordsthat come out of your mouth.So like every time you lie,it's poison,which is a problembecause there was a study that was donethat said that the average personlies four times a day.There was another study,this one's just wild to me,that said that 60% of the people they studiedcould not have a 10 minute conversationwith a stranger without telling a lie.60%, 10 minutes,you're lying.That's crazy.But this right here is probably the commandmentthat Christians most easily and most regularly break.We spit poison with our lies.You know what else is poison?Gossip.When gossip comes out of your mouth.You know what the Bible says about gossips?That they're untrustworthy and they're meddlesome.In fact, it goes on to say that they are worthy of death.And you think gossip ain't that big a deal?See, look, gossip hurts people.It divides relationships.It damages relationships.Gossip is just straight up poisoncoming out of your mouth.How about criticism?The Bible tells us to build people up,to encourage them,and yet we spit poison when we criticize,when we tear people down.You know what's so sad about thatis that most often our criticismis directed at the people we actually say we love.We're spitting poison on our kids.We're spitting poison on our spouse.How about this one?Negativity.This is a weird poisonbecause it poisons other peoplewhile poisoning yourself.Right?Right?Negativity, it robs you of joy and of peace.It leads to depression, anxiety.It leads to isolation.It's just straight poison coming out of our mouths.And we could go on and on.We could talk about the abuse that comes out of our mouths.We could talk about foul language.We could talk about outbursts of anger, dirty jokes.All these, there's so much poisonthat just comes out of our mouths so easily, so readily.But we won't belabor the point.I think you're on board, right?Like the tongue is dangerous.Words can kill.They can be destructive.The Bible even goes on to saythat the power of life and death is found where?The power of the tongue.Okay?So let's get back to James' commentbecause that's a really big problem with our tongues.And then he goes on to say no human being can tame it.So the impossible task in front of usis to tame the untameable.Now, when you hear James sayno human being can tame the tongue,does that make you just want to say,well, I guess, you know, it's just, it is what it is.I guess my tongue is just going to be a problem.It's going to be a problem the rest of my lifeand I just got to deal with it.No.He's drawing our attention to this problem,but there is a solution, right?There's a conversation Jesus has with his disciplesabout salvation.And he says, they ask him, you know,how could this even be possible?And he says, with man, it's impossible.But then what does he say?But with God, all things are possible.And yeah, that conversation is about salvation,but the truth that all things are possible with Godapplies here.In fact, I think that's why James,who chooses his words very carefully,said no human being can tame the tongue.He's not telling you it's impossible.He's just telling you that you can't do it on your own.So we're going to get to that,but we're only in verse eight and there's 18 total.So let's keep moving.So with it, with this tongue,we bless our Lord and father.And with it, we curse people who are madein the likeness of God.From the same mouth come blessing and cursing.My brothers, these things ought,ought not be so.James is being really clear here.Again, hey, this is an impossible task,but you still need to do it, right?Like it shouldn't be so that your mouth is being usedin these two different ways, right?Quick trivia question for you.How many mouths do you have?Just one.Last service, a couple people thought they had two.It was really interesting.But no, you've only got one,which means you have to choosehow you're going to use it.Are you going to use the one mouth God gave youto speak life or to speak death,to build people up or to tear them down,to honor God or to speak the devil's lies?Like what are you gonna dowith the one mouth that God has given you?And James continues, he says,does a spring pour forth from the same opening,both fresh and salt water?No.Can a fig tree, my brothers,bear olives or a grapevine produce figs?Again, no.Neither can a salt pond yield fresh,fresh water.And so that one mouth can only really truly be usedfor one purpose.What are you gonna use it for?And just like he's showing here,you can identify a tree by its fruit.You can identify a personby the words that come out of their mouth.In fact, your coworkers should know you're a Christianeven if you never tell them I'm a Christianjust because they can put together the cluesbased on the things that keep coming out of your mouth.Or at least they should be able to, being gentle.Let me just go ahead and sum up all 12 of these versesin just four minutes.Four words for you.What you say matters.That's James's point.Like what you say matters.Do me a favor, tell the person sitting next to youwhat you say matters.Do me a favor, turn to the other person and say,I'm sorry I didn't pick you first,but what you say matters too.It's true.Your words matter.In fact, we're gonna leave James for just a moment.Let's look at what Jesus has to say about our words.Jesus says in Matthew 12,I tell you that who?Everyone.Everyone will have to answer for how many?All of the what?Careless things they've said.I promise you I did not sneak that into your Bible.It was there before you got here today.You are going to be held accountablefor every careless word that comes out of your mouth.How many of you have ever said a careless thing?More than one?More than 10?Like how many do you think you've said?That was the question that I was wondering.And so I did some research.First, I had to determine how many words do I say?So I looked at a few different studies.Some said as low as 6,000 words are spoken a dayby the average person.Some studies said as much as 16,000.So I just kind of took the average and went with 11,000.So on average, you're gonna speak 11,000 words today.As a preacher, I'm gonna say a lot more than that today.That's why James started with,not many of you should become preachers.Watch out.All right, so that's 11,000 today.That means about 4 million this year.In 2024, you're gonna say about 4 million words.How many of those words do you think are careless?But here's the problem.You're not being held accountablejust for what you say today or just what you say this year.It's actually at the end of your life,you're held accountable for all the wordsyou said in that timeframe.So I did some math.So I calculated the average life, expected lifespan.I subtracted the years that you're not speaking yetbecause you haven't learned how.And this is the number I came up with.281,050,000 words you're gonna speak in a lifetime.There's one study that showsit's over 800 million words you'll say in a lifetime.All right, so this is a low number.This is the conservative number for youto make it a little bit more palatable.So of those 281 million wordsyou're gonna say in your lifetime,how many of those words do you think are careless?Too many.That's right, Pastor Jerry, too many.What if we just said 1%?99% of the stuff that comes out of your mouth is great.1% Jesus would deem as careless.That means you're gonna be held accountablefor two million words.Some of you are like,I really wish Brent had not done the mathbecause you were way more comfortable with your lifeuntil you realized two million wordsyou're gonna be held accountable for.And some of us probably a lot more than that.And so if we're gonna be held accountablefor every single one of those two million words,I don't know about you,but I wanna learn how to tame my tongue.I wanna be held accountablefor a whole lot less than two million.And so while James says that no man can tame the tongue,I don't think his words are meantto defeat us.I think his words are meant to encourage usthat there is a path here,but it's not in your own strength.You're not gonna be able to do this on your own.You need help.And then for the next set of verses,the rest of the chapter,he shows us where that help actually comes from.And so in your Bible,when you turn to James chapter three,at the top of it,there's probably this phrase that said,taming the tongue or something like that,little subject header line.Well,you get to verse 12,there's a page breakand there's a new section,like new headerthat's probably says something like wisdom from above.Anybody with a paper Bible can confirmit says something like that.And there, yeah.And so here's what happens though,is we get this ideabecause there's a new subject headerthat we think that James has now shelvedthe conversation about our wordsand is now picking up a new conversation about wisdom.The problem is James didn't write that header.It's actually not original in the text.I don't know if you knew this before or not,but it's actually a late edition.The subject lines and the chapters and versesare all later additionsto make studying and reading the Bible easier for us, right?Because it gives a break for the eyes.It lets you kind of get your mind set around,okay, he's gonna be talking about wisdom now.And so it kind of gives you some clues to what's going on.And the chapters and verses make things like today really easybecause I can say, okay,open up your Bible to James chapter,chapter three, verse 13, right?Instead of just saying, go to James and keep scrollinguntil you find the phrase.No, like it just makes study easy.It's a great addition to the Bible.I'm so grateful for it.However, there's also a danger that's introduced in itwhere we get this idea, this implicationthat it's a new topic, but it's not.I don't think James is leaving one conversationto pick up another.I think that James has for 12 versespresented you with a problem.Your tongue is a fire from helland you can't tame it on your own.And he doesn't just leave his readers with,well, that sucks.Like what now?No, no, no.Then he presents to you the solution.What's the solution?Can I introduce you to wisdom from above?Hey, look at that.The solution to the taming the tongue problemis to receive wisdom from above.Isn't that good?Don't you like that?So let's,let's remind ourselves that with man, it's impossible.With God, all things are possible.We just need his help.And here's the help.James 3.13, he says,who is wise and understanding among you?By his good conduct,let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom.This is a throwback to chapter twowhere he talks about your faith should be in action.Your faith should work, right?You gotta show your faith.Well, now he's saying, it's not just in what you do.It's actually in what you say as well.Verse 14,but if you have,if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambitionin your hearts,do not boast and be false to the truth.James is connecting an idea that Jesus talks about,that our words reveal our hearts,that what's in here comes out here.That's what Jesus taught in Luke chapter six.He says, good people have good things saved where?In their hearts.That's why they say good things.But those who are evil have hearts full of evil.And that's why they say things that are evil.What people say with their mouthscomes from what fills their hearts.What's in here comes out here.For my old school Christians,out of the abundance of the heart,the mouth speaks.Look at that.And so if your mouth is out of control,it might be time for a heart checkbecause what's in here is coming out here.If there's garbage in here,there's garbage coming out here.It's beautiful connection that James makeswith Jesus' teaching.And then what James does is he gives a contrast.He gives a contrast from the two types of wisdom,God's wisdom and man's wisdom.Heavenly wisdom, wisdom from above,and wisdom that's not from above.And so that's what he says in the next verse.He says, this is not, the whole heart issue,that's not wisdom that comes down from above,but it is earthly, unspiritual, and demonic.Remember, the demonic, he's tying it back to the tongue,is from hell, right?A fire from hell, it's demonic.For where jealousy and selfish ambition exists,there will be disorder,and every man will be destroyed.It's a very vile practice, okay?And so there's a verse in 1 Corinthians 3where Paul says that the world's wisdomis foolishness to God, right?There's a difference between earthly wisdomand heavenly wisdom.In fact, earthly wisdom, when it comes to our tongue,says things like sticks and stones may break my bones,but words will never hurt me.How many of you have realized by nowthat's straight up garbage, right?Like I came across this one here recently.The worldly wisdom says that white liesare actually necessary in healthy relationshipsbecause they can help spare people's feelings.No, thank you, okay?Worldly wisdom says that embellishing your accomplishmentsis a great way to get the job you've always dreamed of.Hold up a second.The world's wisdom says to just speak your mind,to share your two cents,to set people straight with your words.World's wisdom says that cuss wordsare sometimes just the best wordsto describe how you really feel inside.And I've got to take, I didn't elaborate on the others.I got to take a moment on that one.I got to, can I get the soapbox out and just,there are way too many Christiansthat have gotten way too comfortable with cussingbecause this verse is in their Bible.It's in yours too, Ephesians 4, 29.Let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth.So is it okay for just some unwholesome words?What about just a few unwholesome words?What about just when you like,stub your toe?What if that unwholesome word is just the best wordto describe the deep, complex, strong emotionsthat you're feeling right now?There's no caveat.There's no, but here it's okay.Or in this situation, it's okay.No, it's just straight up no.Let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth.And so as lovingly and gentlyas I can possibly tell you today,if you're the kind of Christianthat's been comfortable with unwholesome talkcoming out of your mouth,clean up your mouth.Because your mouth is betraying your heart.That there's something in herethat's coming out here that's not okay.And it's betraying a heart issueand it's betraying a self-control issue.That if you can't control this,what else are you not controlling?All right, soapbox moment is over.Slide that thing over.We'll get back on that thing next week.And so here's what James does.He redirects our attention,not from the earthly demonic wisdom,but from the heavenly wisdom,the wisdom from above.And he says that the wisdom from aboveis first pure, then peaceable, gentle,open to reason, full of mercy,good fruits, impartial and sincere.Eight things that this wisdom from above entails.And we'll come back to those eight thingsin just a moment.But let's finish off the chapter.He says,And a harvest of righteousnessis sown in peace by those who make peace.Your words are seedsthat you're plantinginto the lives of other people.The question is,what are you planting?What are you sowing?And so I said we're gonna come back to thisbecause if the entire chapteris about introducing the problem of our tongues,the fact that we can't tame it ourselves,that we need God's help,and then it ties into this wisdom from above,then guess what?This wisdom from aboveis not so much about the things you're doing.It's actually about the things you're saying.That now wisdom from aboveshapes your words,so that they're pure and peaceableand gentle and open to reasonand full of mercy and good fruitsand impartial and sincere.Let's take a look at those.So first of all,wisdom from above meansthat your words will now be pure.Pure in the Greek means undivided, right?Which means that your wordshave a singular focus,and that is whatever honors God.The words coming out of your mouthare designed to honor God,nothing else.They're pure.Wisdom from above saysthat your words are now gonna be peaceableand divine.Gentle, right?Because here's worldly wisdom,you know exactly what to sayto win the argument.But we're not trying to win arguments,we're trying to win people.And so we're not gonna chooseto escalate situations.We're gonna de-escalate situationsbecause we're gonna choosepeaceable and gentle words.Our words are gonna be open to reasonand full of mercy.Open to reason meansthey're not gonna be argumentative.Even when you're passionate about your views,even when you know that you knowthat you know that you're right,and the other person is wrong,your words are still,because they're graced with wisdom from above,your words are still gonna be open to reason.People are gonna want to have that conversation with you.You ever not wanna have a conversation with somebodybecause they just try and beat you up?Not when you have wisdom from above.That your words are gonna be full of mercy.That even when you wanna give that persona piece of your mindand they 100% deserve your wittiest comeback,wisdom from above tells youto give them the same grace,grace and mercy that God has given you.And so you're gonna be,your words are gonna be full of mercy instead.That your words are gonna bear good fruits.We already establishedyour words are producing something.It's producing something in the lives of somebody else.We don't want rotten fruitborn out of cold, bitter words.We want good fruit,and that comes from the wisdom from above.Our words are impartial and sincere.Impartial means thatwe don't play favorites with our words.We're not praising our bossso he can give us a raisewhile bashing us.We're not bashing our coworkersbecause they can't do anything for us.Your words are upliftingregardless of the powerthe person you're talking to holds in your life.They're impartial.They're sincere.You're not saying one thingbehind somebody's backand something different in front of their facebecause your words are just sincerebecause it's coming from a heartthat genuinely loves peoplebecause Christ commanded it.So the wisdom from above,it actually comes inand it shapes our wordsso that they fit these criteriaso that we're speaking life and not death.So the million dollar question then ishow do you get that wisdom from above?Thank you, Jaden,for asking such a wonderful question.The answer is actually given to usin James chapter one.James gives us the answer in verse five.If any of you lacks wisdom,let him what?Ask God.You need wisdom from above,ask for it.Ask God who gives generouslyto all without reproachand it will be given him.So if you need help with your words,and I think we've established todaythat we all do,then ask God for help.You can start every morning with,God, help me not let my mouthget me in trouble today.Amen.You know, before I go into an important meeting,I'll pray a prayer.God, help me choose my words wisely today.I've been in the middle of a conversation with somebodyand I realize it's going south fastand it's probably because of the words that I'm using.I'll stop right there under my breath.Jesus,I need some help with these wordsbecause I'm not communicating the way I need to.I love the prayer that David prays.Psalm 141, David says,set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth.Keep watch over the door of my lips.I think some of us need a double armed guard,like just lock that thing down.And maybe you can relate to this.Maybe you've got that one person in your lifethat just makes all of this so much harder.You just got that one person.You're good with your tongue all the other times,but that person comes,and sadly, it might be your boss.For some people, it's their spouse.Some people, it might be your kidthat just knows how to push that one button so well.Maybe you got that friend that they come aroundand all of a sudden, you just start saying stuff.Whoever it is, you know what you dobefore you start a conversation with that person?You pray this prayer.You say, God, set a guard over my lips.Like, protect my words.Like, help me not say the wrong thing in the wrong way.And according to Jamesand supported by my heart,my own personal experience,when you ask God for help,he gives it to you.But here's the thing.We're kind of out of time,but we're not quite done yetbecause here's the thing.If all we did was say, God, give me wisdom,and then we expect him to just kind oftake our tongues and wag it for usor just kind of like treat us like a puppetand the only thing that comes out of our mouthsis what God is saying,that's not how life works.I don't know if you've experienced that before.That would be really weird.God doesn't do that.Instead, what happens,is God gives us wisdom,but then we have to use it, right?When the wisdom from above says,keep your mouth shut,guess who has to keep their mouth shut?You do, right?Like, I know this is mind-blowing, right?This is deep stuff,but if you are getting the wisdom from above,it's still on you to apply the wisdom,to follow the wisdom through.When you have spent 30 minutes in the showercoming up with the perfect insultor comeback or response to that person,you've been,you've been meditating on this thingand you are ready to just let it ripand then wisdom from above comes inand says, say something nice.What are you gonna do?You can go with the rehearsed speechor you can say something nice.You still have to actually use the wisdom from above.I was going into a meetingwhere I was there to bring heavy correctionagainst somebody, deservingly, I believe,and as I'm walking into the meeting,the wisdom from above said,just ask them how they're doing.completely changed the conversation.Years ago, I had somebody hurt me behind my back.They said some things behind my backthat were designed,they were intentional to hurt me,and they did.And I found out about it.They didn't know that I knew it was them,but when I found out about it,I was ready to confront them.And so I had thought through,I prayed about it even,and I was ready to confront them.Walking over to them,wisdom from above said,hey, instead of that,just apologize to them.And I was like, get thee behind me, Satan,because I'm the one that needs to receive an apology.I'm not the person that's supposed to give the apology.I don't know if you know how this works,but the person that has been offendedis not the one that apologizes.But can I just tell youthat following the wisdom from above,it's not always easy.But the only times in my lifeI have ever regretted the wisdom from aboveis when I didn't listen to it.so the best way that we canfollow that wisdom from aboveis to think before we speak.Proverbs 10, 19 says,a person who talks too much gets into trouble.Don't look at the person in the roomthat that applies to.But a wise personlearns to be quiet.Like the Bible just straight up said,say less, fam.That's beautiful.I love it.How about President Lincoln?Like better to remain silentand be thought of as a personand a fool than to speak outand remove all doubt.Lincoln just throwing them, haymakers.And maybe what some of us needis a lesson that I'm trying to learn.It's the acronym WAIT, W-A-I-T.Why am I talking?So if you want to be held accountablefor less words,you should probably say less wordsin your life, right?Because our words,there's something dangerous about our words.In fact, David, can you come up here?I got an obvious question.This is an object lesson.This is old school.This is an old, old, old one.In fact, I wasn't going to do it,but we were talking about it in sermon planning.We had a bunch of staff membersthat had never seen this done before.And so here's what we're going to do.So the toothpaste in hereis going to represent your words.And so here's what I need you to do.I just need you to squeeze out every last drop.Just get it all out.You know, you had a frustrating day.You just got to,I'm not going to judge youfor the way you're squeezing that thing.But just get every last,every word, you know,the gossip, the lies,the frustration,the anger, the resentment,even the good stuff.Like just every word,you just got to get every word out there.And that's how sometimes we approach life.Like we just,we just try and empty ourselves,just pour out every last word that we've got.Awesome.You got all of it?Almost.There you go.Last, last drop.Perfect.Awesome.All right.That's beautiful.Thank you for that, that assistance.Now we're going to do this illustration.Well, actually I'm just,I'm kind of cheapand there's a lot of toothpaste.And so if you could just put it all back in thereso I can use it at home later.So just,just put all the toothpastejust back in the tube.Just get it.Come on, man.Get it back in there.What's the matter?Yeah, it's not working.It's not going to work.Thank you.I appreciate that.So this is,the lesson behind this isonce it's out,it's out.Like once you let those words fly,look, you can apologize.But even after the,the apology is,it's not enough.It's like a bandaid on something.Right?That there,you've already caused the damage.You've already caused the wound.You've,you've already,you've already broken trust.You've already damaged the relationship.You've already hurt the person.And you can't bring those words backonce they're out.And so the solution thenis to be really carefulwith what we let out.So we need to thinkbefore we speak.It's old school day at CLCbecause we're going with that old acronym.T-H-I-N-K.Think before you speak.So before the words come out of your mouth,you need to go through this checklist.Is what I'm about to say actually true?Am I about to saya little bit of a white lieto make it look like I'm not?To make myself feel goodor make myself look good?Is what I'm about to sayactually just gossip or a rumor?Do I even know if this is true?And,and in the 21st century,we got to understand thatwords are not just what comes out here.It's also what comes out here.Right?And so is what I'm typing,is what I'm sharing on social media,is it actually true?I once heard a preacher saythat you are never more like the devilthan when you're telling a lie.Because lying is the devil's native language.It's a language.We shouldn't be speaking.So first, is it true?Second, is it helpful?Right?The words coming out of our mouthshould benefit the person hearing them.Is it going to help the situation?John Maxwell has a leadership principlethat's brilliant.He says that every leadercarries around with them two buckets,a bucket of gasolineand a bucket of water.And when you're leading in your organization,you come across a fire,a problem, an issue,you've got to choosewhich bucket you're going to use.Are you going to make the problem worse?Or are you going to make the problem better?Right?Gasoline and water.It's a brilliant leadership principle.But you know what?I think it's actually a better principlefor the words that come out of our mouths.What are you going to choose?Something that's harmfulor something that's helpful.When your kid comes home from schoolwith a bad report card,which bucket are your words going to come from?Is it going to be gasoline on that fire?Or you can create a new argument?When your spouse promisesthey're going to do something,they break that promise,they fail that promise,and you're ready to just let them have it,which bucket are your words coming from?Gasoline or water?When your coworker drops the ball on the project,you've got to choose your words.Is what I'm going to sayactually going to help the situation?Or is it going to be harmful in the situation?Is it inspiring?Are my words actually going to motivatethe person that's hearing them?When somebody leaves a conversation with you,do they feel,do they feel uplifted and encouraged?Or do they feel defeated?Do they feel like the air has been let out of the tire?Do they feel hopeless?Do they feel defeated in this conversation?We should be inspiring people with our wordsto be and to do everything that God called themto be and to do.I want my words to inspire people,make them feel like they can take down hellwith a water pistol.Like just want to get that fire in them.But are my words going to inspire?Are these words necessary?Do I actually need to say this?Am I going to just regret having said this?And not about you,but I find that when I'm upset,often the words that I say just make me feel better.They didn't actually help the situation at allthey weren't actually necessary.I didn't need to say them.I just wanted to say them.Voltaire said that everything that you say should be true,but not everything true should be said.And so there's some timeswhen you don't actually need to say them.You don't actually need to say it.Sometimes the best thing you can do,wisdom from above says, keep your mouth shut.Is it necessary?And finally, is it kind?How are my words making somebody feel?My default setting, I don't know if you know this about me,but my default setting is sarcasm.It's a skill I picked up as a kid,perfected it as a teenager, and now as an adult,like I speak that better than I speak English.Like it's just, sarcasm just rolls off my tongue.It's just, it's second nature.And I gotta be real careful though,because a lot of times that sarcasmsounds or becomes unkind words in the ears of others.And the Bible says that we're called to encourage,but we're called to speak truth in what?In love.And so if the words that are coming out of your mouthare cruel, even when they're true,if there's no love in them,then you need to pick better words.In fact,oftentimes it's not what you say,it's how you say it.And so you can say something true in a kind wayor in an unkind way.And you know how you know the difference?You gotta stop and you gotta think before you speak.I don't know if this counts as wisdom from aboveor just mama's wisdom,but if you ain't got nothing nice to say,she wouldn't say nothing at all, right?So make sure that your words are kind.So this is what we're gonna do.We're gonna think before we speak.Is it true?Is it helpful?Is it inspiring?Is it necessary?And is it kind?Because ultimately what you say matters.Your words have power.So this is James chapter three.Your tongue is dangerous.It's a fire from hell that can burn down worlds.And so you need to do something about it.But no human being can tame the tongue.So you need help from God.You need wisdom from aboveso that you don't say the wrong things at the wrong timein the wrong way.need that wisdom from above.And so you just ask God for help.And then when he gives you that wisdom,use it.Think before you speak.Sound good?Let's pray.So Father God, we just thank you for this timethat we've been able to have together in your word.We thank you because Father,you have given us wisdom from above that we need.So Father, we recognize today all across the room,everybody watching online,we recognize,we recognize that our words have been dangerous,that our words have already set some fires to things.So we ask right now that you would help heal some relationshipsthat have been damaged by our words.That you would bring some forgiveness and mercy and graceinto those situations.But God, while we can't change the past,we can keep from saying those things in the future.But we need your help.We recognize no human being can tame the tongue.It's wild and it's deadly.But we know that with you, all things are possible.So we just collectively, we just ask right now,Holy Spirit, give us wisdom from above.Help us in our words.Help us to say the right things.That we wouldn't respond to people out of emotionor anger or frustration,but we would take a breath and take a momentto ask you for help.And when you give us that wisdom,we would actually use it.Help us to think before we speak.For every single person listening to this message,I just ask on their behalfthat you would put a guard over our mouths.our mouths would not be the thingthat gets us in trouble.Wouldn't be the thing that destroys relationships,destroys our witness.Father, that you would take every single wordthat comes out of our mouthsand it would be honoring to you.would be used for the kingdomand for Satan.Help us with our words today.In Jesus' name.Amen.Amen.I'm gonna ask you to go ahead and stand to your feet.We're gonna close out the service with a song.And here's the thing.I think that some of you need to have a moment with Godto just say,God, what have I been saying that I shouldn't be saying?What's been going on with my words?And take this time to ask God to help youcontrol your tongue the way he's called us to.Let's worship together.Amen.

### Quotes for Outreach

1. "James is really, it's the how-to book for Christian living. So James doesn't talk so much about how we get saved. He really talks about what happens after. Like now that you're saved, how do you live like a Christian? In fact, James in his book has over 50 imperatives or 50 directives that he gives us. And only about 108 verses. Which means every other verse, James is telling us to do something with our faith." [50:09] (30 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)




2. "Who you are today is actually a direct result of the words you speak and the words that somebody else has spoken to you, good or bad. So the second time I ever preached, we won't talk about the first time because it was a wild story. I was on a mission trip with my parents to Brazil, and they had me preach to a group of pastors. I was like 17. It was awful. It was so bad." [57:53] (24 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)




3. "Every word you speak is serving one of two agendas. It's serving God's agenda or it's serving the devils. It's serving heaven or it's serving hell. Every word that comes out of your mouth. So who do your words serve? Are your words aligning you with God? Or are your words aligning you with Satan?" [01:01:19] (21 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)




4. "Your words are seeds that you're planting into the lives of other people. The question is, what are you planting? What are you sowing? And so I said we're going to come back to this because if the entire chapter is about introducing the problem of our tongues, the fact that we can't tame it ourselves, that we need God's help, and then it ties into this wisdom from above, then guess what? This wisdom from above is not so much about the things you're doing." [01:19:42] (29 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)




5. "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him what? Ask God. You need wisdom from above, ask for it. Ask God who gives generously to all without reproach and it will be given him. So if you need help with your words and I think we've established today that we all do then ask God for help. You can start every morning with God help me not let my mouth get me in trouble today. Amen." [01:23:10] (28 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)




### Quotes for Members

1. "James is addressing an issue within the church. At the beginning of the church, there was a leadership vacuum. There was a teacher vacuum. And so a lot of people were trying to step into that role even without any qualifications or calling or gifting to step into that role. And it was getting kind of chaotic. In fact, that's why so much of the New Testament warns against false teachers." [52:11] (21 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)




2. "James is not saying that nobody should be a teacher. He's just saying that we should approach that role with some reverence, with some respect, because if we're going to talk the talk, guess what? Jesus expects you to walk the walk. Right? So it's not something you just step into blindly, but it is a role that is much needed in the church. Not just on this stage, but it's needed in our kids' classrooms. It's needed in our youth ministry." [53:24] (22 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)




3. "James tells us we gotta be careful of the words that we say. And then he continues in verse 3, if we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also, though they're so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided again by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things." [56:50] (26 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)




4. "James is connecting an idea that Jesus talks about, that our words reveal our hearts, that what's in here comes out here. That's what Jesus taught in Luke chapter six. He says, Good people have good things saved where? In their hearts. That's why they say good things. But those who are evil have hearts full of evil. And that's why they say things that are evil. What people say with their mouths comes from what fills their hearts." [01:15:13] (27 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)




5. "So the wisdom from above, it actually comes in and it shapes our words so that they fit these criteria. So that we're speaking life and not death. So the million dollar question then is how do you get that wisdom from above? Thank you Jaden for asking such a wonderful question. The answer is actually given to us in James chapter 1. James gives us the answer. In verse 5. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him what? Ask God." [01:22:31] (30 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)