### Summary

Welcome, everyone. Today, I want to talk about high road leadership and how it has shaped my life and can shape yours too. I want to start by saying that what I teach today and who I was when I was young are not the same. I had to learn these practices through mentors who came alongside me and taught me. I wasn't born with these skills, and I didn't always have high road ideas or actions. So, if you see me today and think I'm better than I really am, just know that I'm a product of the people who have poured into my life.

One of the first lessons I learned was to value all people. When I was young, I only valued people who were like me. But then I read a book by Florence Littauer called "Personality Plus," which opened my eyes to the value of different temperaments. This led me to cross over theological and social barriers, meeting people from various backgrounds and learning from them. For example, I had monthly lunches with African-American leaders in Atlanta, which enriched my life and broadened my perspective.

Another crucial lesson is to acknowledge your humanness. We all have an eagle within us that wants to soar, but we also have a hippopotamus that wallows in the mud. Recognizing our failures and weaknesses allows us to be kind, forgiving, and non-judgmental towards others. This humanness puts us on common ground with everyone else, making us more relatable and compassionate.

Accountability is another key aspect of high road leadership. Being accountable to someone helps us improve our lives quicker than anything else. It provides perspective, feedback, and responsibility, closing the gap between our intentions and actions. I had a mentor who didn't trust me, and he didn't trust himself either. This lack of trust was not a negative thing; it was a recognition of our human nature and the need for accountability to keep us on the right path.

Communication is also vital. When I teach, I want you to see your possibilities, know your value, feel empowered, and apply what you learn. High road communication gets high road responses. For instance, after a session in Dubai, someone left a note thanking me for seeing their possibilities and valuing them. This is the power of high road communication.

Lastly, I want to share a high road prayer that has become a guiding light for me. It goes like this: "Lord, as I grow older, I would like to be known as available rather than a hard worker, compassionate more than competent, content not driven, generous instead of rich, gentle over being powerful, a listener more than a great communicator, loving versus quick or bright, reliable not famous, sacrificial instead of successful, self-controlled rather than being exciting, thoughtful more than gifted."

### Key Takeaways

1. **Value All People**: It's essential to value everyone, not just those who are like us. When we open our eyes to the value of different temperaments and backgrounds, we enrich our lives and broaden our perspectives. This lesson was driven home for me when I read "Personality Plus" and started meeting people from various backgrounds, including African-American leaders in Atlanta. [09:05]

2. **Acknowledge Your Humanness**: Recognizing our own failures and weaknesses allows us to be more compassionate and forgiving towards others. We all have an eagle that wants to soar and a hippopotamus that wallows in the mud. This duality makes us human and relatable, putting us on common ground with everyone else. [19:16]

3. **The Power of Accountability**: Being accountable to someone helps us improve our lives quicker than anything else. It provides perspective, feedback, and responsibility, closing the gap between our intentions and actions. Accountability is crucial because it helps us see our blind spots and keeps us on the right path. [27:30]

4. **High Road Communication**: Effective communication involves making people see their possibilities, know their value, feel empowered, and apply what they learn. High road communication gets high road responses, as evidenced by the note I received in Dubai thanking me for seeing someone's possibilities and valuing them. [14:26]

5. **High Road Prayer**: As we grow older, it's important to focus on qualities like availability, compassion, contentment, generosity, gentleness, listening, love, reliability, sacrifice, self-control, and thoughtfulness. This high road prayer serves as a guiding light for living a life that values others and adds value to them. [31:48]

### YouTube Chapters

1. [0:00] - Welcome
2. [01:48] - Introduction to High Road Leadership
3. [07:30] - Everything is Within Your Reach
4. [09:05] - Value All People
5. [10:28] - Crossing Theological and Social Barriers
6. [11:40] - Valuing People Without Knowing Them
7. [13:10] - The 16 Laws of Communication
8. [14:26] - High Road Communication
9. [15:59] - What I Want You to See, Know, Feel, and Do
10. [17:14] - High Road Communication Gets High Road Response
11. [19:16] - Acknowledge Your Humanness
12. [21:01] - Mentorship and Personal Growth
13. [22:51] - Separating Giftedness from Self
14. [24:31] - Seeing People as Valuable
15. [26:07] - Common Ground Through Humanness
16. [27:30] - The Importance of Accountability
17. [28:53] - Good Intentions vs. Good Actions
18. [30:24] - The Need for Accountability
19. [31:48] - High Road Prayer

### Bible Reading
1. **Philippians 2:3-4 (NIV)**: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others."
2. **James 5:16 (NIV)**: "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective."
3. **Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)**: "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

### Observation Questions
1. According to the sermon, what was the first lesson the speaker learned about high road leadership? [[09:05]]
2. How did the speaker describe the duality of human nature using the eagle and the hippopotamus analogy? [[19:16]]
3. What role did mentors play in the speaker's journey towards high road leadership? [[01:48]]
4. What is the significance of accountability in high road leadership as described in the sermon? [[27:30]]

### Interpretation Questions
1. How does valuing all people, as mentioned in Philippians 2:3-4, align with the speaker's experience of meeting African-American leaders in Atlanta? [[10:28]]
2. In what ways does acknowledging our humanness, as discussed in the sermon, help us to be more compassionate and forgiving towards others? [[19:16]]
3. How does the concept of high road communication, as described in Ephesians 4:29, relate to the speaker's experience of receiving a note in Dubai? [[17:14]]
4. How does James 5:16's emphasis on confession and prayer relate to the speaker's discussion on the importance of accountability? [[27:30]]

### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a time when you valued someone who was different from you. How did that experience enrich your life? How can you make a habit of valuing all people in your daily interactions? [[09:05]]
2. Think about a recent failure or weakness you have experienced. How can acknowledging this humanness help you to be more compassionate towards others who are struggling? [[19:16]]
3. Who in your life can you be accountable to? How can you establish a system of accountability to help you close the gap between your intentions and actions? [[27:30]]
4. How can you improve your communication to make others feel valued and empowered? Can you think of a specific person you can practice high road communication with this week? [[14:26]]
5. Reflect on the high road prayer shared in the sermon. Which quality mentioned in the prayer do you feel you need to focus on the most? How can you start incorporating that quality into your life today? [[31:48]]
6. How can you apply the lesson of seeing people as valuable rather than just helping or fixing them? Think of a specific relationship where you can change your approach. [[24:31]]
7. What steps can you take to ensure that your good intentions turn into good actions? How can accountability play a role in this process? [[28:53]]

### 5-Day Devotional on High Road Leadership

---

**Day 1: Valuing Diversity in People**

**Description:**
Valuing all people is a fundamental aspect of high road leadership. It means recognizing the worth and potential in everyone, not just those who share our backgrounds or beliefs. This principle encourages us to cross social and theological barriers, enriching our lives by learning from diverse perspectives. By valuing different temperaments and backgrounds, we can broaden our horizons and foster a more inclusive community. This approach not only benefits us personally but also strengthens the bonds within our community, making it more resilient and compassionate. [09:05]

**Bible Passage:**
"For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ." (1 Corinthians 12:12, ESV)

**Reflection:**
Think of someone in your life who is different from you in background or beliefs. How can you take a step today to learn from them and value their perspective?

---

**Day 2: Embracing Our Humanness**

**Description:**
Acknowledging our humanness is crucial for high road leadership. We all have strengths and weaknesses, moments of soaring like an eagle and times of wallowing like a hippopotamus. Recognizing this duality allows us to be more compassionate and forgiving towards others. It puts us on common ground with everyone else, making us more relatable and understanding. By embracing our own imperfections, we can create a more supportive and empathetic environment for those around us. This humility fosters deeper connections and a more authentic community. [19:16]

**Bible Passage:**
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." (2 Corinthians 12:9, ESV)

**Reflection:**
Reflect on a recent failure or weakness you have experienced. How can acknowledging this humanness help you be more compassionate towards others today?

---

**Day 3: The Power of Accountability**

**Description:**
Accountability is a powerful tool for personal and communal growth. Being accountable to someone provides perspective, feedback, and responsibility, helping us close the gap between our intentions and actions. It helps us see our blind spots and keeps us on the right path. Accountability is not about mistrust but about recognizing our human nature and the need for guidance. By embracing accountability, we can improve our lives more quickly and effectively, fostering a culture of mutual support and growth within our community. [27:30]

**Bible Passage:**
"Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working." (James 5:16, ESV)

**Reflection:**
Who is someone you can be accountable to in your life? How can you take a step today to establish or strengthen this accountability relationship?

---

**Day 4: High Road Communication**

**Description:**
Effective communication is a cornerstone of high road leadership. It involves making people see their possibilities, know their value, feel empowered, and apply what they learn. High road communication gets high road responses, fostering a positive and encouraging environment. By communicating in a way that uplifts and empowers others, we can inspire them to reach their full potential. This approach not only benefits the individuals we communicate with but also strengthens the overall community, creating a culture of mutual respect and support. [14:26]

**Bible Passage:**
"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." (Ephesians 4:29, ESV)

**Reflection:**
Think of a recent conversation where you could have communicated more effectively. How can you apply high road communication principles to your interactions today?

---

**Day 5: High Road Prayer**

**Description:**
As we grow older, it's important to focus on qualities that truly matter, such as availability, compassion, contentment, generosity, gentleness, listening, love, reliability, sacrifice, self-control, and thoughtfulness. This high road prayer serves as a guiding light for living a life that values others and adds value to them. By embodying these qualities, we can lead by example and inspire others to do the same. This approach not only enriches our own lives but also creates a more loving and supportive community. [31:48]

**Bible Passage:**
"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive." (Colossians 3:12-13, ESV)

**Reflection:**
Which quality from the high road prayer do you feel you need to focus on the most? How can you take a practical step today to embody this quality in your life?

---

This 5-day devotional aims to guide you through the principles of high road leadership, helping you to grow personally and spiritually while fostering a more inclusive and supportive community.

### Quotes for Outreach

1. "When I teach, what do I want you to see? I want you to see your possibilities. I want you to see that you can do better, go further than you've ever done or you've ever gone. I am a possibility communicator. I'm a lid lifter. Are you with me? I lift the lid. I want you to see wherever you are, you can go higher. I want you to see your possibilities." [14:26](Download raw clip | Download cropped clip | Download vertical captioned clip)

2. "Accountability helps us to improve our life quicker than anything else. I do better when people help me do better. And it's just huge. And why is accountability so effectively? Well, accountability helps me because I'm blindsided in some various things I don't see. Well, if I'm not accountable to anybody, nobody could ever call me on it. And if you're blindsided, you're blindsided. What's that mean? You'll never see it." [27:30](Download raw clip | Download cropped clip | Download vertical captioned clip)

3. "Everything that I'm going to give you now on high road is within your reach. It's within my reach. So look at the person you're seated beside and just say to them, you can live this life. I want you to tell them that right now. You can live this life. You can live this life. In fact, after you just said you could live this life, look at him and say, we all hope that you do. Hey, we're all pulling for you. You know what I mean? Come on. We're all pulling for you." [07:30](Download raw clip | Download cropped clip | Download vertical captioned clip)

4. "When the other person takes a long time, he's slow. When I take a long time, I'm thorough. When the other person doesn't do it, he's lazy. When I don't do it, well, I'm very busy. When the other person doesn't follow the rules, he's rude. When I don't follow the rules, I'm original. When the other person gets ahead, he's getting all the breaks. When I manage to get ahead, well, I'm just smart. And it's just because I work hard." [26:07](Download raw clip | Download cropped clip | Download vertical captioned clip)

### Quotes for Members

1. "I have an eagle in me. But can I also tell you something? The eagle in me says, I believe I can fly, but can I tell you something else? I have a hippopotamus in me to wallow in the mud. The eagle in me makes me look down at others. The hippopotamus in me reminds me how much I'm like others. You show me a person that does not acknowledge their failures, their weaknesses, their humanness, their sins, their issues. And I'll show you a person that's hard to live with." [19:16](Download raw clip | Download cropped clip | Download vertical captioned clip)

2. "I want to be that eagle that soars, but sometimes I'm that hippo wallows. But when I understand that, then I will look at you entirely differently. I will not look at you as somehow I'm better than you or bigger than you or smarter than you or got more money than you or more successful than you. I'll get rid of all that crap because it's crap. It's wood, it's hay, it's stubble. And I'll look at you and I'll say, I'm not going to look at you. I'm not going to look at you." [24:31](Download raw clip | Download cropped clip | Download vertical captioned clip)

3. "The moment that I see you as valuable, I serve you. I change positions with you. And no longer am I above you, not trying to fix you, not trying to teach you a lesson, not going, oh my gosh, did you, no, no, I'm, now, now I'm serving you. And as I, as I travel the high road, my humanness helps me, helps me to see my shortcomings so I can understand your shortcomings. It helps me to see my failures so I can say, well, yeah, I've, I've done that too." [26:07](Download raw clip | Download cropped clip | Download vertical captioned clip)

4. "Good intention is the most overrated phrase in the world. I'm telling you, good intentions, your good intentions are worthless. Worthless. Did you understand what I said? Worthless. No one has ever benefited by anybody's good intentions unless they became good actions. And what happens is this. We judge others by their actions, and we judge ourselves by our intentions." [28:53](Download raw clip | Download cropped clip | Download vertical captioned clip)

5. "I had a mentor one time. This is so good. He was looking at me, and he said, John, he said, I just want to help you here. He said, I'll be honest with you, I don't trust you. I said, okay. Oh, that's kind of hard. You're my friend, you're my mentor, and you don't trust yourself? I don't trust you. said, okay. Then he smiled real big. He said, it's okay. I don't trust me either. He said, I don't trust anyone that has a human nature of sin in them unless they have some accountability." [30:24](Download raw clip | Download cropped clip | Download vertical captioned clip)

Thank you very much. Wow. Well, let me ask you a question. Are you having a good day?

Hasn't this been wonderful? I think every person has just added so much value and contributed to the day on leadership. And I just, my heart is overflowing and warm when Kendra just talked about her philanthropy and her company and what they are giving away. And I just, I just admire that. I just, and I just admire, I just admire people who just value others and add value to them. I just do.

Okay. Can we get back to high road leadership?

Okay. I want to start this session by saying, I'm going to talk about two or three things that help you to be a high road leader, things that you practice to be a high road leader. But what I want to say most of all is that what I teach today and who I was when I was young are not the same. And we have to have some credibility here. In other words, I had to learn these practices. Are you with me? I didn't have them. I wasn't like born with them.

And so, I had mentors who came alongside of me and taught me. I'm passionate about personal growth, but the greatest vehicle of personal growth in my life has been the mentors that I've had in my life, the mentors who have helped me. So when people see me today, they think I'm better than I really am. And I just want you to know, my name is John. I'm your friend, and I'm not, I'm just not that good.

Now it's okay. I don't mind you thinking I'm better than I am today because when I started, people thought I was worse than I was. It's kind of like life to balance it out. You know what I mean? It's kind of like if you just live long enough, you kind of get on the other side. But I have to be very careful as I teach this now because high road leadership can be very pharisaical. High road leadership can, it can have an edge to it that I don't want to ever have with you or in the book.

And I just want you to know what I'm going to share with you just really works, but I just want you to know when I started off, I wasn't that good.

Okay. And I didn't, I didn't always have high road ideas. I didn't always have high road actions or thoughts. And I'm much more comfortable if you're comfortable with those things. And now you see me kind of like an old man. Okay. And so it's kind of like, okay, if I had one wish, the wish I would have is you could have seen me when I started. Because if you could have seen me when I started, you would be greatly encouraged. You really would. You would lean in because when I started to speak, I wasn't a great communicator.

My first book was not good. I mean, when you, when the first time you do anything, you're never good the first time. And normally you're not too hot the second time either. So if you'll stay with me on that level, I'll be more comfortable as I talk about high road leadership and how to do it.

How we want to lead in a right way, because it's an experience. It's a growth.

Okay. So when I think of the mentors I've had, and I've had so many, I've literally probably had in my lifetime, 120 to 130 people who at least for a season added value to me and poured into my life. But I was in my twenties when I had a mentor named Lon Woodrum who said, "John, look for the good in every person and every situation."

I was in my twenties. He was teaching me high road thinking. And by the way, he said, you can see the good, or you can see the bad in every person. In other words, if you want to, you can look at the bad in every situation, you can look at the bad in every person. And by the way, if you'll find it, you'll find it. If you look for the bad in me, you'll find the bad in me. If you ever look for the good in me, you'll find the good in me because I have both. You have both.

But he taught me high road. Just look for the good in every person. You know, Elmer Towns, who's still alive, who was a beautiful, beautiful mentor of mine, said, "John, if you want to be great, hang around with great leaders, get around great people."

Zig Ziglar told me, he said, "Help other people before you help yourself."

Les Parrott taught me to write books that'll help other people. Tom Phillippe was the one who taught me, "Just give more than you receive, John. Quit keeping score. Just give, just be generous. Give more than you receive."

My dad, when I graduated from college, said, "John, every day, value people, believe in people, unconditionally love people."

So I don't want you to miss this. I'm a product of the people that have poured into my life, just like you're the product of people who've poured into your life. Most of you know that John Wooden was a mentor of mine for 14 years.

After my first mentoring session with him, I'll never forget, we literally started, it was going to be an hour and a half mentoring session for breakfast. And it went so well, he said, "Come over to my house." And I went over to his condo. And what was supposed to be an hour and a half from eight to 9:30, went from eight to 4:30. And when we were done, he said, "I want you to come back. Let's keep talking."

And that was the beginning of a 14-year mentoring relationship. And I can still remember going down the elevator, going through where the cars were, going out to the parking lot, going to where my car was parked. And as I got to the, as I got to the, just to get ready to open the car door, intuitively, I thought, I need to turn around. And I turned around. And when I turned around, he was standing on the porch, watching me with a big smile on his face. And as soon as I turned around, he gave me a big wave.

You see, who mentors you is as important as what they say. What they say will teach you, give you information. Who they are will change you. It's contagious. That smile, that wave. Because you see, when you're around big people, they make you feel bigger. And when you're around small people, they make you feel smaller.

And so everything I'm going to teach now for these next few minutes, I just learned. I practiced. I've been intentional. And everything I share with you is within your reach. I have never knowingly taught something that is out of reach for other people. Why would I do that? Why would I frustrate you? Why would I lay something out for you that's not possible for you to achieve? That's just not even smart.

So everything that I'm going to give you now on high road is within your reach. It's within my reach. So look at the person you're seated beside and just say to them, "You can live this life." I want you to tell them that right now. You can live this life. You can live this life. In fact, after you just said you could live this life, look at them and say, "We all hope that you do."

Hey, we're all pulling for you. You know what I mean? Come on. We're all pulling for you.

So I'm going to give you three, just three. You saw the practices. That's each chapter, but I'm going to just give you three very quickly. The first one is just very simple. And I won't talk long on this one because you hear me talk a lot about this already.

Value all people. Just value all people.

I did not do that when I was young. I valued people like me. So if you were like me, oh my gosh, I value my, we're friends. When you're different, mate, you know what I always ask? What's wrong with them? What's wrong with that person? Why can't they get their act together? Why can't they get there? What's wrong with them?

You see, I had an assumption. I was right. You were wrong. And then, I read a book by Florence Littauer called Personality Plus. And it was a life-changing book for me because she talked about the four different temperaments. And as I read the four different temperaments, I began to see that each temperament had great value. And even though it wasn't my temperament, they had a lot to contribute.

And it started to open my eyes. And I began to say people that are different than me have a lot to add value to me if I will look at the differences in a positive way. And I began to cross over. I began to cross over theological barriers. I got a lot of flack for that in the religious community. But I began to just kind of go to different groups and different, I mean, it was just incredible.

In fact, I crossed over more theological lines than any person probably in the kind of the religious Christian world. And then there was a time when I crossed over from the pastor church world to the secular business world. I can still remember, in 1997, when I moved to Atlanta, the African-American community in Atlanta is so vibrant. And it has so many people that just have such great talent. And I wanted to meet them.

And so I have a wonderful friend, Sam Chan, who was a close friend to many of those people. And I said, could I have a lunch once a month with maybe a dozen, 15 of them, just to meet them and talk to them? And for three years, every three months, I'd sit down with them. And every time they'd come, they thought, "He's going to teach us something." I said, "I'm not going to teach you anything. I want to ask about you. I want to talk. I want to ask you questions."

And I met people that were in the Birmingham jail with Martin Luther King. And my life just got richer. And I began to see, I just, the perspective was huge.

I was at a teacher's retreat recently, a leader's teacher's retreat. In fact, it was the top two leaders in the public school system in every state in America. So there were a hundred of them in New Mexico. And they wanted to have a day where I talked to them. And I said, I want to talk to them. And they said, I want to talk to them. And I talked to them about values because we do values training in school called I Lead. And that's another day for another subject. So I'm not going there, but they, they're looking at using values curriculum in public schools in, in right during the curriculum, just with math or language or whatever.

So we did a values table, just like they would do in school. I taught on values. I did Q and A on values. And when I was doing a Q and A on values, one of the leaders raised her hand and she said, "John, something that bothers me. She said, you talk about valuing me. She said, you don't know me. How could you value me?"

Well, I said, I have an answer, but I'm not sure I should give it to you. And she said, "Well, what do you mean?" I said, "Well, I really do have an answer, but I'm a person of faith and I don't want to offend you. So if I gave you the answer, it would have to be in the context of my faith. So if that makes you uneasy, just, we'll just forget you asked the question and we'll move on. But if you want me to, I'll be glad to answer for you."

What I found a long time ago is if you are kind and nice and don't want to offend people and just kind of say, "I have the answer, but it's your call, not mine," it drives them crazy. She said, "No, I want to hear it." I said, "Well, I can give you the answer, but it is a faith answer. I said, I can value without knowing you because God created you and God creates you because he values you. He not only values you, he creates you. He creates you. He creates you. He creates you. He creates you. He creates you. He created you with a purpose, a design, gave you a gift that would help you to be successful. He packaged you up for success."

Now, this is very simple. When we value people, they can tell. And when we devalue people, they can tell. They can read it through our mannerisms, through our attitude, through our spirit.

Now I'm going to, I asked him to put, I wrote a book a few months ago called The 16 Laws of Communication. I'm just curious. How many of you have The 16 Laws of Communication? Oh, look at this. Oh my gosh. Okay. On site. All you on site, raise your hand. I'm watching you right now. I'm watching you on site. How many?

Okay. And I asked him just, I just asked him to put it on the screen. No reason I asked him on the screen. If you don't have it, I want you to get the book and I'm going to, I'm going to take two minutes and I'm going to talk about how this, how communication changes when you take the high road.

This is, this is, if you want to be a communicator that connects and moves people together in an incredible way, there's a high road way of even communicating. So I talk in the book about the best message, which is the message I'm delivering right now, the high road leadership and the big message. The big message is not the best message. The big message is about a subject. The big message is about the DNA of who I am.

And there are four questions I want you to ask yourself. And I just want you to write these questions down very quickly because this is going to help you. The questions are: What do I want the people to see? In other words, when I'm speaking to you, what do I want you to see?

Of course, the second question is, what do I want you to know while I'm speaking and teaching you? What do I want you to see? What do I want you to know? Number three is, what do I want you to feel? And then finally, what do I want you to do?

Now, those are four simple questions. What do I want you to see, know, feel, and do? Now I'm going to give you the answers to my four questions. That is my DNA as a communicator. They won't be yours. They shouldn't be yours. You go find your own. Are you with me? But what I'm going to give it to you so you kind of understand it. And then all of a sudden, the light's going to come on when you communicate with high road intention.

So when I teach, what do I want you to see? I want you to see your possibilities. I want you to see that you can do better, go further than you've ever done or you've ever gone. I am a possibility communicator. I'm a lid lifter. Are you with me? I lift the lid. I want you to see wherever you are, you can go higher. I want you to see your possibilities.

Now, what do I want you to know? I want you to know your value. I want every person that hears me speak to feel very valued because people thrive in an environment of feeling valued. I was very fortunate. I had a mother that unconditionally loved me. And once you've been unconditionally loved, you understand the power of value in a person.

So I want you to know your value. I want you to see your possibility. What do I want you to feel? I want you to feel empowered. I want you to feel like when I'm done teaching, I can go do this. I mean, why would you want to teach and have people frustrated? Why would you want to teach and have people say, "Well, I could never get there"? I want you to feel like I can do that too. John did it. He taught me how to do it.

And then what do I want you to do? I want you to apply. I want you to apply what I teach and multiply it to others. That's why I do those are the four things. If you'll look at those things that I want for my audience as a communicator, I want you to see your possibilities. I want you to know your value. I want you to feel empowered. I want you to apply.

Do you see how that's high road? Do you see how I'm teaching and expecting the best? And when you teach and expect the best, you begin to receive the best.

So I was in Dubai and I was teaching the business book a few months ago when I was in the Middle East. And so we had a lunch break and I came back to get ready to teach. And there was a note from somebody. I don't know who it was from because it wasn't signed, but there was a note on my desk after I just finished teaching about the big message of what I want you to see, feel, know, do.

And the note said, "Thanks, John, for seeing the possibilities in me and valuing me and empowering me today. I needed that. Now I'm going to go out and apply and multiply." Well, of course, he is. Of course, he is. Whoever wrote that note to me, of course they are. High road communication gets high road response.

So value people. The second thing I want you to talk to you about briefly and really walking and doing this high road is acknowledge your humanness. Acknowledge your humanness.

Okay, here we go. See within me, I have an eagle that wants to soar. Are you with me? You know, I just, I don't, I've got an eagle within me that says, "Let's go high. Let's fly. Let's soar." You know, "Hey, I believe I can fly." You got a little eagle in you. Come on. How many of you got some eagle in you? Come on. Talk to me.

Yeah. I believe I can fly. Yeah. You really can't no matter how long the runway, but I believe I can fly. See, I have an eagle in me. But can I also tell you something? The eagle in me says, "I believe I can fly," but can I tell you something else? I have a hippopotamus in me to wallow in the mud.

The eagle in me makes me look down at others. The hippopotamus in me reminds me how much I'm like others. You show me a person that does not acknowledge their failures, their weaknesses, their humanness, their sins, their issues. And I'll show you a person that's hard to live with. In fact, I'll show you a person I don't want to live with.

There's something right about us understanding our humanness. It allows me to be kind to others. It allows me not to judge others. It allows me to forgive others.

I love the lady who wrote Dear Abby one time. She says, "I'm 40 years old and I'd like to meet a man about the same age who has no bad habits." Abby replied, "So would I."

Don't we all want to meet somebody like that? Let me just ask you a question. How many of you have ever had a day in your life that you truly hope nobody really ever knows about?

Those good-looking shoes you got, Tracy, right there. How many of you have ever just wallowed in the mud and had a hippo vacation? You know what I'm talking about? You just, man, I just, I just got to wallow for a while.

So I had a wonderful mentor, a beautiful mentor came into my life when I was in my thirties. I had just, I was very young. My books were selling. My church was the largest church in America. They just wrote a book about it. I was on Amazon. I made Amazon Hall of Fame in the bookstore.

He came to see me and we had a long Sunday lunch at the Brigantine restaurant in La Mesa, California. And what he did for me for the next two and a half hours, stabilized me, steadied me, grounded me. He said, "John, I'll bet you have people all the time that say you're amazing. He said, you speak. Oh my gosh, that was amazing. Oh my, that's amazing."

He said, "I'll bet you just have a lot of people tell you you're amazing all the time, don't you?" I said, "Well, yeah. I mean, truth to truth. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of people, they say, yeah, I'm amazing."

He leaned to me and he intently looked in my eyes. He said, "You're not. You're not amazing." He said, "Your giftedness is amazing." He said, "Your giftedness is ridiculous. You have charisma. You have woo. People follow you. You lead, you communicate. He said, your giftedness is amazing, but you're not. And you've got to separate your gift from you because other people can't and other people won't."

So he said, "When somebody comes up and says, 'You're amazing,' be kind. Well, thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you. But understand, it's your gift that's amazing. That's nothing to do with you."

In fact, he said, "I know you pretty well. And he said, honestly, you're kind of one step from stupid." He said, "Just, you really are. And by the way, he's exactly right. And so are you. We're all one step from stupid. Only the grace of God."

So he said, "I want you to understand from now on that you're very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very human. You have good days. You have bad days. You're on the high road sometimes. Sometimes you're on the low road."

He said, "It's your gift." And that day changed my life. Because from now on, when everything happens, it's wonderful. And I have so many things that happen in my life. That's wonderful. In the last 24 hours, I could tell you a couple of things that would blow you away that have happened to me. They're just wonderful things.

And then I realized it's the gift that's amazing. In fact, he said, "I want you to understand it's a gift. It's all the gift. You didn't earn it. You don't deserve it. You didn't work for it. You didn't get spiritual to get it. It's a gift. God, it was a gift."

And he said, "If it can be given to you, if you don't do a good job stewarding it, God can take it away. It's a gift." And it just absolutely changed how I think of myself, how I think of other people.

You see, I want to be that eagle that soars, but sometimes I'm that hippo that wallows. But when I understand that, then I will look at you entirely differently. I will not look at you as somehow I'm better than you or bigger than you or smarter than you or got more money than you or more successful than you. I'll get rid of all that crap because it's crap. It's wood, it's hay, it's stubble.

And I'll look at you and I'll say, I'm not going to look at you. I'm not going to look at you. And I'll just, see, here's the difference. When I begin to value people and understand my humanness, if I see you as hurting, I'll help you. And if I see you as broken, I'll fix you.

But if I see you as valuable, I'll help you. Don't miss that. You see, when I fix you, when you're broken, I'm above you. When I see you hurt and I help you, I still got the upper hand. But the moment that I see you as valuable, I serve you. I change positions with you.

And no longer am I above you, not trying to fix you, not trying to teach you a lesson, not going, "Oh my gosh, did you?" No, no, I'm now serving you. And as I travel the high road, my humanness helps me to see my shortcomings so I can understand your shortcomings. It helps me to see my failures so I can say, "Well, yeah, I've done that too."

It helps me to see my poor attitude when I see your lousy, poor attitude. And instead of saying, "Boy, do they have a poor attitude?" I say, "Well, there's two of us today, I guess, huh?"

You see, my humanness puts me on common ground with you. I love this. I've had this for many years. It's called whose point of view. When the other person takes a long time, he's slow. When I take a long time, I'm thorough. When the other person doesn't do it, he's lazy. When I don't do it, well, I'm very busy.

When the other person doesn't follow the rules, he's rude. When I don't follow the rules, I'm original. When the other person gets ahead, he's getting all the breaks. When I manage to get ahead, well, I'm just smart. And it's just because I work hard.

Huge. Let me give you one more. Gosh, I'm loving teaching this. Do you think this is going to be a good book? Huh? It's going to be good. I think it is. I think it's going to be a good book. It's going to get better, by the way. Help me out. You know, write me notes, give me ideas and thoughts that I have. And remember, you could have your name in the book and you could help me sell it.

Sucker. There's one more. Just one more. I mean, there's several others, but I just have time for this one. One more.

The third thing I think that really helps me when I do the high road walk is, and for all of us, we need to be accountable for our actions. If I ask you, what's the greatest way to improve your life? What's the greatest way to improve my life? I can give you a quick answer. Become accountable to somebody.

Accountability helps us to improve our life quicker than anything else. I do better when people help me do better. And it's just huge. And why is accountability so effective? Well, accountability helps me because I'm blindsided in some various things I don't see.

Well, if I'm not accountable to anybody, nobody could ever call me on it. And if you're blindsided, you're blindsided. What's that mean? You'll never see it. There are things I will never, when a person says I'm self-aware, I always smile and say they're all so delusional.

The self-awareness that I have, somebody was kind enough to come in and say, "John, let me explain something to you. You don't see that correctly, or you need to see it in a different light."

So accountability helps me with perspective. It helps me with feedback. It helps me with collaboration. It helps me with responsibility. It helps me with change.

Here's what accountability does. It closes the gap between intentions and results. Good intentions, good intention is the most overrated phrase in the world. I'm telling you, good intentions, your good intentions are worthless. Worthless. Did you understand what I said? Worthless.

No one has ever benefited by anybody's good intentions unless they became good actions. And what happens is this. We judge others by their actions, and we judge ourselves by our intentions.

Oh yeah, we do it all the time. I watch, I could call people on, excuse me, excuse me. Why don't you be as hard on yourself as you're on another person?

And so therefore, the accountability helps me to take my good intentions and turn them into good actions. It closes the gap. It just always does. So everyone needs to be accountable to someone.

And why does everyone need to be accountable to someone? It's because power corrupts, and absolute power absolutely corrupts. I had a mentor one time. This is so good. He was looking at me, and he said, "John, I just want to help you here." He said, "I'll be honest with you, I don't trust you."

I said, "Okay." Oh, that's kind of hard. You're my friend, you're my mentor, and you don't trust yourself? I don't trust you. I said, "Okay."

Then he smiled real big. He said, "It's okay. I don't trust me either." He said, "I don't trust anyone that has a human nature of sin in them unless they have some accountability."

And somebody that walks alongside of him and says, "I want to be your friend. I want to help you."

And isn't it true? Most of the problems I have in my life were given to me by you. Most of the problems I have in my life were given to me by me.

When people ask me, "What's your greatest leadership challenge?" I always tell them the same thing. My greatest leadership challenge is leading me. It's not leading you. My gosh, I'm giving you this lesson. I go off the stage. I speak again this afternoon. I go to Tampa and speak tonight.

My gosh, I got all, I mean, it's so easy to tell you what to do. Just do this, do that, do that. Yeah, yeah, bless you, bless you, bless you.

Isn't it easier to tell someone else to do what to do than do it yourself?

See, if I had to kick the person most responsible for my problems, I wouldn't be able to sit down for a week. No, it's me. It's me. It's me, oh Lord, standing in prayer.

So let me tell you, it's just a fun, cute story on accountability. For several years, I had a fellow named Bill, Bill Classen, that, oh, for 25 years, he was my accountability partner. And we would meet monthly for lunch, and I had given him five questions to ask me.

Every time we met, we'd go through these five questions. And they were accountability questions, and so he would ask these five questions. But the question I want you to know that was last, the fifth question, is the key question, okay? You can go work up your own accountability questions, okay? But I had five, and so he would ask me the first four.

But the last question was just, it was the killer. Question number five. Have you lied about any of the previous four questions?

And there were times I would say, "Yeah, I did. Let's go to two. Didn't tell you the truth there."

I think I want to close the session with what has now become my high road prayer. I'll just read it to you.

"Lord, as I grow older, I would like to be known as available rather than a hard worker. Compassionate more than competent. Content not driven. Generous instead of rich. Gentle over being powerful. A listener more than a great communicator. Loving versus quick or bright. Reliable not famous. Sacrificial instead of successful. Self-controlled rather than being exciting. Thoughtful more than gifted. I want to be a footballer."

Watch it.