Faith and Patience: Trusting God's Promises

Hey everybody, thanks for watching today's video message.

Follow us on social media or visit our website at thespiritchurch.org if you're local. Our service times are at 9 and 11 on Sundays. Don't forget to invite a friend. Stay tuned at the end of this message for a special word from Pastor Amen.

Well, as you can tell, I'm a little excited. I kind of, you know that amen, there's a word the young people say, they say, "Pastor, you stay lit." Yeah. Say neighbor, get lit today. Come on, praise God.

Well, as you can see, my beautiful wife of 25 years, come on man, my Ace, this is my rib, this is my ride or die. If I act up, you know, see ride or die, but if I don't ride, I'm gonna die. Yeah, praise God.

By God's grace, we are so honored to be here today and thankful and appreciative for the opportunity to share. As you can see, we are in jumpsuits; we're mechanics today. Today's message is entitled "The Mechanics of Marriage." Yes, the mechanics of marriage.

Now understand, every marriage will have challenges. There are no perfect marriages. People often look at us and they think that we have it all together, but we have issues too. We just got jumpsuits to cover up our issues, amen. Because, as the Bible said, none are righteous, not one. We all have issues, that's right.

The key I want you to get out of this message today is marriage will never be mastered; it will be managed and maintained. You'll never have it all figured out because as soon as you figure her out, she gonna change. That's right, huh? As soon as you thought you had it all together, they go, "What?" And then you have to manage the change.

There's a season where they hot and it's a season when they not; it's just a part of the process. So understanding that marriage will never be mastered, it must be maintained. So many, you'll always have to put work in it. Marriage will work when you put in the work. When you stop working, it's going to stop working.

We love you so much we created a video to start off our message today. Y'all ready? Y'all gonna love this.

Come on woman, can you just be quiet?

Don't tell me to be quiet. You always win.

Just be quiet. You should get it fixed.

Okay, I understand. Listening, this car is making a lot of noise.

Listen, we got AAA, okay?

Come on. Come on now, you want to have some urgency.

I'm so tired of your mouth. We have an appointment with Malachi quickly.

A whole bunch of fixing going on.

Who was mad at me? What's taking so long?

What's up man, what's going on?

Then we having some problems. The car keeps steering her away for some reason. It's like the alignment's out of line.

I don't see anything wrong with steering my way, but I'm thinking you need to tell him that we need a tune-up.

Well, the car keeps overheating, you know, and I just think there's something she's doing for the car. Anything for the car to overheat, something's wrong.

Well, with the car, there's another problem; she's always on me and...

She kept calling and saying that the car was going to overheat. I was trying to figure out what the problem was.

He needed to take the car to the gas station and fill it up. I asked him if he wanted to go to the gas station and he said he had to get over right away.

He told me that he was having a problem with the alignment and that it was pulling to one side all the time.

We took a look at the alignment and it was out of balance, so we had to balance it.

We also needed to do a tune-up and check the fluids and oil changes.

We ran a diagnostic and asked if they had been doing the oil changes and checking the fluids. They said they hadn't been doing it.

We decided to look at the overheating problem first and then the empty tank.

We popped the hood and checked the coolant. We realized that they were running a little bit hot.

We decided to fix it so they wouldn't be running hot anymore.

Lastly, we talked about the empty tank and told them to fill it up more often.

We noticed that some of them were arguing in the car on the way over and then they came in looking good.

Prado said that years ago people would look at them differently, but now they are getting married.

I wasn't breaking up with her; I was just saying I need a little bit more time to process.

What did you need time to do?

I was young and I wanted to make sure that I was wise, so I was trying to process.

The Bible says count the cost, and so she construed that I was breaking up with her.

I wasn't breaking up; we broke up, we were done because we were not in alignment. Our visions did not meet, our means did not meet.

Right before Christmas break, I said I don't think I want to get married that soon; I think we just need to slow it down a little bit.

We were both miserable at home, so my mom said there's plenty of fish in the sea.

She bought me a tight dress and I went back to college.

I saw Jomo and I said, "No, we're not together anymore."

He said, "Let's pray and meditate," so we did.

I realized that without a vision of my marriage, my marriage will not be right.

Alignment is important in a relationship because it leads to better communication and support.

A man with no mission is hard for a woman to be in submission to.

A relationship is out of alignment when you're not willing to inconvenience yourself for your spouse, amen.

If you're in alignment with your spouse, you understand their desires and dreams.

This is so important because you should be able to join them and help them fulfill their desires and dreams.

If you don't know them, you can't do that.

To make sure we stay in alignment, there are four key indicators.

Number one is time. If a person is not willing to give you time, they're telling you they're not in agreement.

Number two is money. The Bible says where your treasure is, there your heart is.

Number three is how they give to other things.

Number four is will they inconvenience themselves for you.

If your spouse is not willing to inconvenience themselves for you, your relationship is out of alignment.

This can cause bitterness and insecurity and tells the enemy he's won.

We have to trust God in the process.

Other places, you gotta drag them to the mall, you gotta drag them to the movies, you gotta drag them to the restaurant, you gotta drag them to the bank, you gotta drag them to the store, you gotta drag them to the doctor's office, you gotta drag them to the dentist office, you gotta drag them to the barbershop, you gotta drag them to the beauty shop, you gotta drag them to the gym, you gotta drag them to the spa, you gotta drag them to the park, you gotta drag them to the zoo, you gotta drag them to the library, you gotta drag them to the museum, you gotta drag them to the aquarium, you gotta drag them to the amusement park, you gotta drag them to the water park, you gotta drag them to the beach, you gotta drag them to the lake, you gotta drag them to the river, you gotta drag them to the mountains, you gotta drag them to the valley, you gotta drag them to the forest, you gotta drag them to the desert, you gotta drag them to the jungle, you gotta drag them to the savanna, you gotta drag them to the tundra, you gotta drag them to the ice cap, you gotta drag them to the rainforest, you gotta drag them to the prairie, you gotta drag them to the swamp, you gotta drag them to the marsh, you gotta drag them to the bayou, you gotta drag them to the ocean, you gotta drag them to the sea.

Don't be unequally yoked. This means that two oxen will pull the yoke, but if one ox is down, they will connect the ox to a donkey.

This can be compared to relationships, where one person is dragging the other.

Biblically, Corinthians 2:14 states, "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers."

This means that you should not be connected to someone who you have to drag to church, the mall, the movies, the restaurant, the bank, the store, the doctor's office, the dentist office, the barbershop, the beauty shop, the gym, the spa, the park, the zoo, the library, the museum, the aquarium, the amusement park, the water park, the beach, the lake, the river, the mountains, the valley, the forest, the desert, the jungle, the savanna, the tundra, the ice cap, the rainforest, the prairie, the swamp, the marsh, the bayou, the ocean, or the sea.

Don't be unevenly yoked means don't carry weight that wasn't made for you.

To work, you gotta drag, because the reality is some of you wonderful sisters got your degrees, got your job, but you're carrying some dead weight.

So you have to ask yourself, was this the way God called for me?

I'ma leave that alone, that's good, that's good.

Number two, get regular tune-ups.

I remember well, every year Jumbo and I get together, usually around November, and we'll go off somewhere for just maybe a night or two, maybe a staycation, but we tell the kids we're going so they don't bother us.

And we talk about our short-term goals for the upcoming year and our long-term goals to make sure they haven't changed any, because things could happen that you didn't plan that you have to now make adjustments for.

Amen.

So we talk about different subject categories; we talk about finance, we talk about what we want to do for our marriage, our family, fitness, our personal goals, checking in, and these are short-term and then our long-term.

Hey, this was long-term, does it still look the same?

Because some people may think, "Oh well, we've been together so long we don't need to talk about that."

We all have the same, no, because what your vision of retirement is may not look like her vision of retirement.

You may think retirement is sitting on a back patio drinking some lemonade watching the sunset, and he may think traveling around the world in the RV is the way to go, and she don't want to travel around the world in the RV because she don't want to make that bed up, she don't want to cook you food.

Because if she's on vacation too, she's talking about a mama right there, everybody that's her mama I am.

But the reality is, you have to discuss consistent vision, right?

So what we do, we have weekly meetings. In a weekly meeting, we do this: have I offended you this week?

Because what happens, we have offenses but we don't talk about it because we just try to act like it didn't bother us, but it bothered you, right?

So what our goal is to have a weekly meeting to where we check an issue, meaning if you don't check issues, issues check you.

And a lot of times we don't address them because we're trying to avoid conflict, correct?

But avoiding conflict causes other things to happen.

Listen to this, you'll never change what you don't confront, and if you don't deal with it, you endure it.

So you have an option: cure it, endure it, or ignore it.

Action: secure it.

If you're gonna get on my nerves, let's talk about it today, no need.

Because what a lot of people do is sit in silence; it bothers you, but you just keep swallowing.

You hurt my feelings, but I'm not gonna say nothing, right?

But what happens eventually, you said the word explode.

I'm about to lose my mind up in here, up in here, yeah, yeah.

You that one day, if you're like, "What the hell is wrong with her?"

Well, what happened? It built up over time versus saying, "Listen, every week we're gonna have a real conversation," right?

We went to New York last week and we saw a play.

She said, "Babe, how am I doing as a husband?"

I said, "How am I doing now?"

You have to be a mature man to ask a woman how you're doing as a husband.

I'm just telling you, don't ask this question unless you're ready, unless you're ready to hear the truth.

That's right, because see, when you say, "Babe, how am I doing as a husband?" she gonna give it to you.

So don't get in your feelings if you ask a question asking for a response, right?

When you really want to check in, can you believe this?

If you go in your car right now and if you have an owner's manual, you know what it tells you every time you drive your car?

Check the tire pressure.

It says check the oil every time.

Question: Who does it?

Nobody.

Meaning the manufacturer says you should check it before you get in it.

How many of us are checking in our marriages, or are you just riding and wondering why we keep blowing fuses?

Right?

You blow fuses because you have no checkups.

Right?

You never check to say, "Babe, how you doing? How you feeling?"

Right?

And the Bible says deal with your spouse according to knowledge.

So number three is check the fuses.

You're running hot, boo.

You got the pop-off spirit.

Now I have made a definition for the pop-off spirit.

Oh Lord Jesus.

The pop-off spirit is defined as a person who at the wrong place and at the wrong time has to tell you all of their feelings, irregardless of how you feel.

They gonna pop off.

Raise your hand if you know somebody with the pop-off spirit.

Hallelujah.

Or if you're sitting next to them, just blink.

Oh, just let's give up, huh?

Got the pop-off spirit.

Got a guy just can't be quiet.

Hallelujah.

So what happened?

I just...

And you know they say it in the name of, "I'm just keeping it real."

You need to keep it real quiet.

The Bible says they are considered wise when they've used few words.

That's right.

I want you to take a look at an image, an image of a fuse.

It's amazing when you see this fuse.

Look at this.

A good fuse, a bad fuse.

Now notice the good fuse.

The good fuse is connected all the way, and the bad fuse has a break in the connection, a loss in the connection.

The power is created in unity.

Amen.

Two are always better than one.

We have to learn to trust God in our marriage.

We have to learn to trust Him with all.

Not everything needs to be said.

Preach it.

Say that again, Charmaine.

Not everything needs to be said.

Say it one more time.

I feel like you talking about me.

The Bible says a woman can win without a word, with her countenance.

Man, women, if you understood what you had, you don't have to say much.

You could just walk.

They got videos.

You can get a lot more if you just walk.

Don't walk.

My point there is something that's powerful when you keep your countenance in check.

Right?

And you don't have to love first.

Who you are?

You are a treasure.

You are God's daughter.

That's right.

You were fearfully and wonderfully made.

One.

You are more than a conqueror.

But you have to flow like that.

That's right.

And trust God's process.

That's right.

Over to God.

All right.

Babe, you had a story about a horse.

One horse can pull nine thousand pounds by itself, and two horses can pull 27,000 pounds.

Something happens when we come together; we can move more weight than you would think.

The Bible says this in Matthew 16 and 18, when two come together and touch and agree, God goes to work on their behalf.

The challenge in marriage and relationships is that we want a 20-year marriage with one year of work.

We have to go through the class of long-suffering and forgiveness.

Every day we are going to say something wrong and ask for forgiveness.

We have to grow in grace and maturity.

I was telling my wife a story about how I didn't grow up with a lot of resources, so when my mother's car starter didn't work, we had to pop the clutch.

Sometimes in a relationship, we have pushed and the car has not moved yet, but we are still in a pushing season.

Jesus told a man who wanted to give up that he should push against the rock wall behind his house.

After a week of pushing, the man came back and said his marriage hadn't changed.

Jesus told him to keep pushing the rock.

The man got frustrated and tired, but Jesus said he wouldn't change his marriage until he changed the rock.

The rock was not made to move; it was made to make him move.

Our relationships get better when we change.

If we want something different, we have to do something different.

If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten.

My marriage improved when I chose to die to myself.

Truth be told, I'm selfish.

I walk what I want when I want it.

For some reason, the Bible says to lay down my life and die.

Jesus says there's no new life unless a seed falls to the ground and dies.

Life begins when you die.

Paul says I pick up my crosses daily, yes, I crucify my flesh daily.

When you make up your mind that it's not about you, but about His glory, it's not about being right; it's about being righteous.

Righteousness is in the eyes of the Father.

Are you doing right when you stand for God?

Well, God says, "My good and faithful servant."

Some of you have been struggling in relationships; some of you have been struggling in your singleness and you're tired and weary.

You better get a word.

Come here mama.

If you're married today, grab their hand.

If you're single, put your hands together.

We're going to confess the word.

Isaiah 54:17 says, "No weapon formed against me and my relationship shall prosper."

Over all the power of the enemy, my mind covers my heart will be with me.

Lord, I thank you that all things are working together for my good.

I will be bold as a lion.

I said it this way in Isaiah 40:31, "Those who wait on the Lord shall mount upon wings like eagles; they shall run and not get weary."

You have not seen the best.

Give God a shout of praise.

Hallelujah!

Hi, I'm Pastor Niaz. Thank you so much for tuning in to our broadcast.

This is the time where I like to give people an opportunity to receive Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.

I know it's true on television, but guess what?

The best time to do it is the right time, and that's right now.

If you desire to give your life to the Lord Jesus Christ, if you sense that there's a voice saying to you to respond to this invitation that I'm giving, pray this prayer with me:

"Heavenly Father, I believe that Jesus Christ is your son.

I also believe that you raised him from the dead and that Jesus is the Messiah.

Lord Jesus, I receive you now as my Lord and my Savior.

I'll serve you the rest of my days.

I believe I am saved.

I am saved, so that gets me excited.

Welcome to the kingdom of God."

Now that you are a new believer, please drop us an email at thespiritchurch.org and let us know you gave your life to the Lord.

We would love to have someone follow up with you just to help you take the next steps forward.