by Lakeshore Christian Church on Mar 18, 2024
In today's gathering, we delved into the profound nature of God's love, particularly focusing on the aspect of forgiveness and the release of resentment. We explored the scriptural passage 1 Corinthians 13:4-5, which describes love as patient, kind, and devoid of envy, boasting, and pride. It does not dishonor others, is not self-seeking, and is not easily angered. The emphasis was on the phrase "keeps no record of wrongs," an accounting term that signifies the deliberate choice not to keep a written record of wrongs or debts against someone. This is a reflection of God's love for us, as He chooses not to keep a record of our wrongs.
We discussed the challenge of forgiving those who have hurt us deeply and the natural inclination to harbor resentment. However, to love as God loves, we must learn to let go of grudges and move forward. This is not an easy task, and it often requires us to confront our pain and the unfairness we have experienced. Yet, it is through this process that we can find healing and freedom.
The sermon also highlighted the example of Jesus' forgiveness toward Peter, who denied Him three times. Despite Peter's betrayal, Jesus chose to forgive and restore him, commissioning him to "feed my sheep." This act of forgiveness was not a sign of weakness or an indication that what Peter did was acceptable. Instead, it was a powerful demonstration of love and grace.
Forgiveness is not dependent on the actions of others; it is a personal decision and an act of obedience to God. It is not an emotional response but a deliberate choice of the will, empowered by the Holy Spirit. We were encouraged to consider our own lives and the resentment we might be holding onto, and to make the conscious decision to forgive, just as we have been forgiven by God.
The sermon concluded with a call to action, inviting anyone who has not yet received God's grace and forgiveness to respond in faith and to consider making a decision of obedience, such as baptism or committing to the church community.
Key Takeaways:
- Forgiveness is a divine attribute that we are called to emulate. It is not a passive acceptance of wrongdoing but a proactive decision to release someone from the debt of their actions against us. This mirrors the forgiveness we have received from God through Jesus Christ, who paid the ultimate price for our sins. Forgiveness is an act of strength, rooted in love and obedience to God's command. [59:22 <5gWP7A1Sl4k>]
- Resentment is a destructive force that can damage relationships, alter our personalities, and even harm our physical health. It is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to suffer. To love as God loves means to release resentment and choose forgiveness, which leads to healing and restoration of joy and peace in our lives. [40:20 <5gWP7A1Sl4k>]
- The act of forgiveness is not contingent on the offender's actions or remorse. Jesus exemplified this when He forgave Peter before Peter had a chance to make amends. We too must take the initiative to forgive, regardless of whether the other person has sought forgiveness or not. This is a reflection of God's preemptive love and grace towards us. [54:47 <5gWP7A1Sl4k>]
- Forgiveness is an essential component of our witness as Christians. When we forgive, we demonstrate the transformative power of the Gospel. It is through our own experience of being forgiven that we can authentically share the message of Christ's love and redemption with others. [57:46 <5gWP7A1Sl4k>]
- The question Jesus poses to the paralytic at the pool of Bethesda, "Do you want to get well?" is also directed at us in our spiritual and emotional struggles. Do we want to be healed from the bitterness and resentment that bind us? Forgiveness is the pathway to wellness, and it is a choice we must make if we desire to live in the fullness of God's love and freedom. [01:01:12 <5gWP7A1Sl4k>]
### Bible Study Discussion Guide
#### Bible Reading
1. **1 Corinthians 13:4-5**: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."
2. **John 21:15-17**: "When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, 'Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?' 'Yes, Lord,' he said, 'you know that I love you.' Jesus said, 'Feed my lambs.' Again Jesus said, 'Simon son of John, do you love me?' He answered, 'Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.' Jesus said, 'Take care of my sheep.' The third time he said to him, 'Simon son of John, do you love me?' Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, 'Do you love me?' He said, 'Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.' Jesus said, 'Feed my sheep.'"
3. **Proverbs 17:22**: "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."
#### Observation Questions
1. What are the characteristics of love as described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-5?
2. How did Jesus respond to Peter after his denial, according to John 21:15-17? [49:10]
3. What does Proverbs 17:22 say about the impact of a cheerful heart versus a crushed spirit?
4. In the sermon, what analogy was used to describe holding onto resentment? [40:20]
#### Interpretation Questions
1. Why is the phrase "keeps no record of wrongs" significant in understanding God's love? [25:13]
2. How does Jesus' interaction with Peter in John 21 demonstrate the concept of forgiveness and restoration? [49:10]
3. What are the potential consequences of holding onto resentment, as discussed in the sermon? [39:05]
4. How does the example of Jesus forgiving Peter before Peter could make amends challenge our typical approach to forgiveness? [54:47]
#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a time when you held onto resentment. How did it affect your relationships and personal well-being? What steps can you take to release that resentment? [26:41]
2. Jesus took the initiative to forgive Peter. Is there someone in your life you need to forgive, even if they haven't asked for it? How can you take the first step towards forgiveness? [53:36]
3. The sermon mentioned that forgiveness is not an emotional response but a deliberate choice. How can you practice making forgiveness a conscious decision in your daily life? [59:22]
4. Consider the question Jesus asked the paralytic, "Do you want to get well?" How does this question apply to your own struggles with bitterness or resentment? What actions can you take to pursue healing? [01:01:12]
5. How can you emulate the love described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 in your interactions with others, especially those who have wronged you? [24:42]
6. The sermon highlighted the destructive nature of resentment. What practical steps can you take to prevent resentment from taking root in your heart? [39:05]
7. How can you share the message of Christ's love and forgiveness with others through your own experiences of being forgiven? [57:46]
Day 1: Embracing Forgiveness as Divine Strength
Forgiveness is often misconstrued as a sign of weakness, yet it is a profound expression of strength that reflects the divine nature. It requires immense courage to release someone from the debt of their actions, especially when those actions have caused deep hurt. This act of letting go is not about condoning the behavior or forgetting the pain it caused; rather, it is about choosing to not let the past dictate the future. It is a proactive decision to break the cycle of resentment and to open the door to healing and reconciliation. By forgiving, one mirrors the forgiveness received from God through Jesus Christ, who paid the ultimate price for humanity's sins. Forgiveness is an act of love, deeply rooted in obedience to God's command to love one another as He has loved us [59:22].
"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." - Ephesians 4:32 ESV
Reflection: Consider a situation where you've struggled to forgive. How can embracing forgiveness as an act of divine strength change your perspective and help you take the first step towards reconciliation?
Day 2: The Poison of Resentment
Resentment is a silent killer that can erode the soul, disrupt relationships, and even impact physical well-being. It is a heavy burden that one carries, often in vain, as it only harms the bearer and not the intended target. To love as God loves means to release this toxic burden and choose the path of forgiveness. This path leads to healing, restoration of joy, and peace in one's life. It is a journey that may require confronting painful emotions and the perceived unfairness of past events. However, the liberation that comes from letting go of resentment is worth the effort, as it allows one to live a life unencumbered by the chains of bitterness [40:20].
"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice." - Ephesians 4:31 ESV
Reflection: Identify a grudge you've been holding onto. How can releasing this resentment lead to greater joy and peace in your life?
Day 3: Forgiveness Without Preconditions
True forgiveness does not wait for the offender to express remorse or make amends; it is a gift that is freely given, independent of the other's actions. This reflects the nature of God's grace, which is extended to us even before we are aware of our need for it. Jesus' forgiveness of Peter, who denied Him three times, is a powerful example of this preemptive love. Forgiveness is a personal decision, an act of the will empowered by the Holy Spirit. It is a choice to release the other from the debt they owe, not because they deserve it, but because it is the embodiment of God's love and grace [54:47].
"Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." - Colossians 3:13 ESV
Reflection: Is there someone you need to forgive, even if they haven't asked for it? How can you take steps today to offer forgiveness as an act of grace?
Day 4: The Testimony of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is not just a personal matter; it is a vital aspect of Christian witness. When believers forgive, they showcase the transformative power of the Gospel in their lives. It is a testimony to the world of Christ's love and redemption. The experience of being forgiven enables believers to authentically share the message of hope and new life found in Jesus. Forgiveness is a beacon of light that can guide others to the truth of the Gospel, demonstrating that change and healing are possible through Christ [57:46].
"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace," - Ephesians 1:7 ESV
Reflection: How has experiencing God's forgiveness in your own life equipped you to share the message of Christ's love with others?
Day 5: Forgiveness as a Pathway to Wellness
The question posed to the paralytic at the pool of Bethesda, "Do you want to get well?" extends beyond physical healing to our spiritual and emotional states. Bitterness and resentment can paralyze one's spirit, preventing growth and joy. Forgiveness is the pathway to wellness, a choice that leads to liberation from the past and a life lived in the fullness of God's love and freedom. It is a decision that must be made intentionally, with a desire to be healed from the wounds that bind us. This choice is the first step toward a life characterized by wholeness and peace [01:01:12].
"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me." - Psalm 51:10 ESV
Reflection: What bitterness or resentment is hindering your spiritual and emotional wellness? How can choosing forgiveness lead to your healing and wholeness?
Amen. Good morning again, everyone. It is so good to see everybody here today. Welcome, welcome, Smyrna campus! We love you guys. Glad you're connected there. Everybody connecting with us online, we're so happy to have that connection with you.
Happy St. Patrick's Day to everybody! And yes, I did not wear green, so I will be hiding out somewhere in the back so you don't pinch me all day long. Just didn't have anything green to wear this morning.
We are continuing a series called "Love Notes." I've enjoyed teaching in this series. It's where we've been examining the most excellent way to live. It says in Scripture the most excellent way to conduct life, and it's all about loving as God loves. The rest of 1 Corinthians 13 is all about how God's love has these characteristics and how He wants us to love like He loves.
We need to, by the power of the Spirit—we've been singing about the Holy Spirit and the power of the Holy Spirit. It's by the power of the Holy Spirit and His presence and the teaching of God's Word that we can learn to love the way God loves.
Let's pick back up here in 1 Corinthians 13, verses 4 and 5:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered."
We've covered all of those so far in the series. If you missed any of them, you could go back and catch them. They're archived on our YouTube channel, so you could go back and watch them or listen to them there.
Today, we're looking at the very next phrase: "It keeps no record of wrongs." That's one of the most beautiful attributes of God's love. Think about that. We all have some wrongs on our record that God could keep on the record and have ready to use against us at any point. And yet, His love keeps no records of wrongs.
The phrase "keeps no record" is an accounting term. It meant to enter it onto a ledger so that you would have a written record of a transaction that took place or some debt that was something like that would be written into the record so you would have a legal accounting of it to use from then on.
And God's love keeps no record of the wrongs in our lives. Love does not harbor a grudge; it does not hold on to resentment. That's the message today: to release resentment. If we're going to love like God loves, then we've got to learn to let go, to release resentment, to stop holding the grudge, to be willing to forgive and move on, move forward in life.
I guess all of us probably have struggled with resentment at some point in our lives. Maybe you're battling with some right now because you can't live in this world very long without being hurt by some other human being. It happens to everybody. Sometimes it happens very early in life; you get a bad taste about that as a child. Sometimes it's as you go through different stages or phases in life.
But here's the thing: it doesn't matter the age or the timing in your life that hurt. If you hold on to it, it has the potential to do so much damage to you and your relationship with others moving forward. If you don't deal with it in the right way, it could be a minor thing, like somebody cut you off in the parking lot when you got to church today. None of you would do that at Lakeshore, I'm sure. But we have other things going on, like another business here on our parking lot and the school and all that, so maybe it was somebody else, right? It wasn't the church person that did that, I'm sure.
But it could be something more, like you churn inside because a coach wouldn't play your child like you thought they should, or a classmate bullied you or ridiculed you. Or there are some of you here today who've gone through a bitter divorce, and there were hurt and deep scars through that process. It could be that you were abused by a parent, victimized by a criminal, slandered by a gossip, snubbed by a superior, neglected by your children, let down by someone you thought was your friend.
Any and all of those things and more could cause us to struggle with resentment in our lives. It could cause us to turn it over and over again in our hearts and our minds and our guts, where we just won't let it go. We just won't release the resentment.
And when we refuse to release the resentment, it keeps us from loving like God loves. It keeps us from understanding how God loves us when we're not loving others that way. Jesus taught us that one of the characteristics of a distinctive Christian life is that we have the capacity to forgive. That makes us most like God, that we have the capacity to forgive.
Jesus, when He was teaching us to pray, you remember He taught us to pray, "Forgive us our trespasses or debts as we forgive others who have trespassed against us." That could be a dangerous prayer to pray if you're holding on to resentment. If there's a lack of forgiveness in your life and you are supposed to pray the way Jesus taught you to pray, then what we're supposed to say is, "God, I want you to forgive me the way I forgive others in my life."
Do you really want that right now if you're still holding on to resentment and a lack of forgiveness in your own life? Is that really the prayer that would be good for you while you're holding on to that?
You see, we need to learn to be more like Jesus. Now, if you've been hurt deeply, you know that forgiveness is very difficult. All of us that have had deep hurts know how hard it is to let go, to forgive, to release the resentment that we're facing. There are probably not any of us in the room or listening online at the other campus at Smyrna—probably no one of us that doesn't need to work on this a little bit from time to time.
Because here's the thing about hurt and feeling like unfair things have happened: even if you've gotten past already the ones in the past, what's probably going to happen again if you stay on the earth very long? You've got to have some more. There's going to be some more hurts, some more things that seem unfair. Because in this world, Jesus says we're going to have trouble, trials, temptations. As long as we're on this Earth and we're under the curse of sin on this Earth, we're still going to have to deal with more hurts, more things that we think might not be fair—things that we think we have every right to feel resentment about.
So while I'm finishing the message today, here's what I want you to do. I want you to think about someone who's offended you. I'm not trying to stir up trouble here; there's more to it than that, okay? I want you to start there. Think of someone who has offended you, who's hurt you, who's let you down, who's forsaken you, who has gone behind your back—whatever it was. Maybe it was recently, or maybe it was a long time ago, and you're still holding on to it.
Think about that while we're listening to the message today. I want you to make this a very personal and a very practical moment in this message where it's very real for you because of that hurt, that slight, that thing that is causing you to hold on to some resentment right now.
Now, we've got all kinds of ways of getting even with people, don't we? When we feel like we've been treated unfairly, we've been slighted, we've been talked about, or whatever is causing us to have resentment, there's lots of different ways to get back.
There's legal retaliation, right? We hear this in our culture today more than I've ever heard it before: "I'll sue you for everything you've got!" Almost every show on television, if you watch it for very long, what kind of commercial are you going to get? A lawyer! "Have you been wrongfully injured or treated or something at work?" Right? There's some reason you ought to sue somebody for the wrong that you've suffered. It's planted in our minds constantly: "I'll sue you for everything you've got! You don't treat me like that!"
And then there's financial retaliation. I read a while back that J. Paul Getty, who was a multi-millionaire, changed his will 21 times because he kept getting ticked off at family and friends. He would go back and change the will every time he got mad.
Then there's verbal retaliation. If you have verbal skills and you're kind of inclined toward sarcasm like I am sometimes, you can, if you're skilled at it, be very adept at just chewing somebody up and spitting them out, making them feel awful about themselves in a very mean-spirited, sarcastic way. You can belittle people, and sometimes when you're not where you need to be in your own life, you can take great joy in doing that in front of other people so that they are embarrassed in the process of being in the presence of others.
There's a little boy who had been misbehaving. His mother made him stand in the corner for 30 minutes of time out. At the end of the 30 minutes, she called him in for dinner, and they sat down at the table. His dad said, "Now, Billy, I know you don't really want to do this, but I want you to ask the blessing for the meal."
So the little boy started praying, "Father, thank you for preparing this table for me in the presence of my enemies."
We develop clever, creative ways to try to retaliate and get back at other people. Another very common way of retaliating is we try to recruit opponents to our side to go against the other person.
I don't know; I haven't watched the movie "Mean Girls," but I've heard about "Mean Girls" all my life and how they team up. You know, they got a squad, and they'll pick somebody out and be very mean to them and treat them very poorly. But it's not just mean girls; it's mean boys, and it's mean men and women. It's sometimes even in the church. In fact, this is the most common thing I see happen in the church: when somebody gets upset or angry, immediately they start recruiting others to their side to go against the pastor or the leaders or somebody else that they feel like is not giving them their way, doing what they want them to do in the church.
I've had it happen to me. I know a pastor that I'm friends with that hasn't had it happen to them, where they recruited a team to try to defeat what you are trying to do, the way you're trying to lead. So it's not—nobody's immune to it, right? It's true for everybody.
There's also another kind of retaliation: it's the cold shoulder or the silent treatment. I see this most often in marriages, sometimes friendships, where you just kind of stop talking to them, and you try to get back at them by your silence. You're not going to participate anymore in the conversation.
It's like the wife that gave her husband the silent treatment all day long one day. At the end of the day, she looked at her husband and said, "Well, how do you think today went?" When he said, "It's been the most peaceful day I've had in a long time."
Sometimes our plan doesn't work the way we thought it would, but the silent treatment is a treatment that sometimes people will try to use. You draw into this little shell, and you hear something else in a relationship. Sometimes the man or the woman will say, "What's wrong?" and you say, "Nothing." Right? Well, you know something's wrong; you can tell.
Nothing—or this one, I really love this one: "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you."
Resentment retaliation. I heard about this angry wife who vowed that she was going to dance on her husband's grave. He heard her say that and immediately went out and bought a funeral arrangement service so he could be buried at sea.
We get creative, right? Finding ways to get back at other people.
So what I want to do today is spend a little bit of time talking about the problem with resentment, and then we'll look at the example of Jesus and learn how we need to really respond when we're not treated the way we think we should be.
The problem with resentment: the first thing is it destroys relationships. One man said, "When my wife and I get into an argument, she always gets historical." His friend said, "Don't you mean hysterical?" He said, "No, historical. She brings up everything from the past, every wrong thing I've ever done."
You see, it destroys relationships. We sometimes even will refuse to go to an event because that person's going to be there, and we don't like them, and we're mad at them, and they didn't treat us well. So we're not even going to go because of that, even though it would mean something good to somebody else for you to be there.
We let it control and hurt relationships that don't have to be hurt that way, but resentment causes us to do that. It also destroys personalities. It changes who you are. Proverbs 17:22 says this: "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."
Have you ever known someone that has so much resentment they've turned into just a bitter, angry person all the time? That's what resentment will do to you. It will eat away at your joy and your peace and your happiness and your contentment and take all of that away from you while you are determined to hold on to that resentment. It can make you a very mean-spirited person.
It can also destroy you personally. Martin Luther was once so depressed over a situation for a long period of time, and one evening his wife came downstairs dressed all in black. Luther said, "Who died?" And she said, "God did." Luther said, "God didn't die." She said, "Well, why don't you start living like it? Why don't you get back on track? Stop holding on to this resentment that you've got."
Job 5, verse 2 says this: "Resentment kills a fool, and envy slays the simple." One person said it this way: "Holding on to resentment towards someone is like you drinking poison while hoping the other person dies." You're the one drinking the poison when you're holding on to the resentment. You're the one getting the damage.
Even medical doctors will tell you it's terrible for your health to hold on to anger and resentment and a lack of forgiveness. It destroys people's health physically, and it certainly destroys us emotionally and mentally when we won't let go and forgive.
So let's spend the rest of the time looking at an example of Jesus. Turn to John chapter 21. Such a great example here. When you know the context of what's happening in John 21, Jesus has gone through that mockery of a trial. But remember, before He went to the garden there and He was arrested, He had that time with His disciples in the upper room.
Do you remember He said to Peter, "Before this night's over, what was Peter going to do? Deny Him three times." What did Peter say? "No, Lord, not me! I'll die for you! I would never do that to you, Jesus."
Well, Jesus is later arrested, and He's going through this mockery of a trial, and Peter's out in the courtyard near where they were questioning Jesus in this trial. Three times he's asked, "Aren't you one of those with Jesus?" And three times he denied any connection to Jesus at all. He got more adamant by the third time; he cursed and said, "I don't know the man."
If you go back and read the record, as soon as he did that, Jesus' eyes met Peter's eyes as he was being moved from one place to another during the trial.
Now think about what this was for Jesus, this experience. He knew it was going to happen. Remember, He told Peter it was going to happen. Here's what you need to know: you live in this world under the curse of sin. If you haven't been hurt by somebody yet, what can you know? It probably will happen.
Jesus knew this was going to happen. He still washed Peter's feet. He still instituted the supper with Peter: "This is my body; this is my blood." Peter participated in that even though he knew Peter was going to turn right around and do this to him that very night.
What an example of grace, of mercy, of a lack of resentment. Even with the knowledge of what Peter was going to do, He knew it would happen. And I can assure you this: He was hurt.
We don't think of that sometimes, but Jesus was in the flesh like our flesh. And when someone you love and that you think loves you does that to you, does it hurt you? Yes, it hurts all of us when that happens.
Well, guess what? Jesus felt He was hurt too. He was hurt by what Peter did to Him. And it wasn't just Peter, right? All of them fled Jesus during this time. That had to hurt because Jesus is going through the hardest thing He was ever going to face, that any human being has ever faced, and the very people that He needed to be there for Him were all turning their backs on Him.
Do you think He was hurt? Yes, He was hurt deeply. That's why the Bible says He's tempted and tried in all points just as we are. You want to complain to Jesus, "Somebody treated me bad?" Guess what Jesus can say back? "Yeah, I know exactly what that feels like—worse than anything we've experienced."
He knew it would happen, and He was hurt. Look at Luke 22:61. He said, "The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter." Then Peter remembered the word that the Lord had spoken to him: "Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times." Man, that had to hurt. He even warned Peter about it, and he still did it.
Even with the warning, but you know what He did? He decided to forgive. He decided to forgive. I'm amazed at what Jesus was willing to do. Even though He was treated so poorly—not just by His enemies, but by those who were supposed to be His closest, dearest friends.
In the Gospel of John, chapter 21, we find that it's after the resurrection, and Jesus is not done with Peter yet. He wants Peter to know He's not done with him yet. Even though Peter might be wondering, "Well, what does He want with me at this point? Maybe He wants to retaliate." I'm sure that's probably one of the things that went through Peter's mind: "I let Him down so badly. I treated Him so poorly. How's He going to respond to me now?"
Before we get to that, I want to go back to another passage, Mark 16, verses 6 and 7. Sometimes we miss this when we read through it quickly. It's after Jesus has risen from the dead. In verse 6, after the women had gone to the tomb, remember early that Sunday morning they went to the tomb to take the spices and everything for the body. They had not fully prepared the body when they buried Him so quickly, and now they're going to do that.
They find that the stone is rolled away, and there's an angel there. It says to them, "Don't be alarmed. You're looking for Jesus the Nazarene who was crucified. He has risen; He's not here. See the place where they laid Him."
So the angel gives them the proof, shows that the tomb is empty. And then verse 7 is the key verse I want you to catch what happens here. The angel says, "But go tell His disciples and Peter."
Well, wasn't Peter just one of the disciples? Why is Peter singled out? Why specifically does God's angel say, "Go tell the disciples, but make sure you tell Peter"? "He's going ahead of you in Galilee. There you will see Him just as He told you."
Now think about this. When Peter gets the word, if these women say to Peter, "The angel said to be sure Peter that we told you that Jesus is going ahead to Galilee, and He wants to see you there," he wants to meet up with you there. Can you imagine what's going on through Peter's head when he gets that report?
Does He want to retaliate? Is He wanting to get back at me? Have you ever had this happen? It happens to pastors all the time. Somebody calls you or texts you or emails you and says, "Hey, I'd like to talk to you. I need to talk to you. Can we set up a time to meet?" You know what immediately goes through your head? "What's wrong? What are they mad about? What are they upset about?"
Have you ever had that happen in your own life or business? Right? Somebody just says, "Hey, we need to talk." That almost never is a good lead-in to something good when people say that.
We need to talk. It's like Jesus is sending word to Peter: "Hey, Peter, I want to be sure you don't miss this meeting. I need to talk to you. I need to see you." And Peter's wondering, "Why do we need to talk, Jesus? What is this all about? Why do you particularly want to see me?"
You see, Peter is still wrestling with what he did. He knows what he did, how bad it was, how much it had to have hurt Jesus for him to do that. But now let's look at John 21. This is still after the resurrection here, and Peter and some of his disciple friends were out near the shore, and they decide to go out fishing.
They go out fishing, and while they're out there fishing, Jesus comes onto the beach. They don't know it's Jesus. They're out in the water; they see somebody on the beach there, and he calls out to them, "Have you caught any fish?" And they said, "No."
Jesus said, "Throw your net on the right side of the boat; you'll find some." When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of a large number of fish. This sounds familiar; this has happened before. Jesus is identifying who He is on the beach, and then He calls them in to the beach. He says, "Hey, guys, let's have breakfast on the beach together."
It was early in the morning; they probably went out fishing and hadn't had breakfast yet. He says, "Hey, come on, bring a fish in, and let's have breakfast on the beach."
Can you imagine how hard it was for Peter from the time they were at the boat to the time they got up to the beach where Jesus was standing right there waiting on him? He had to be wondering the whole time, "What kind of retaliation am I going to receive for what I did?"
I can't imagine how nervous he must have been to see Jesus again. You see, there were these mixed emotions. He had to have been thrilled that Jesus had risen from the dead and something they just had a hard time believing could actually happen, and now they know what happened.
But now it means I've got to deal with Jesus, and He's going to deal with me in the flesh, face to face. Now look at verse 15. When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?"
"Yes, Lord," he said, "you know I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my lambs." Again, Jesus said, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?" He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."
The third time He said to him, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?" Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you." And Jesus said again, "Feed my sheep."
Jesus had decided already to forgive Peter. It was a decision that only He could make. See, Peter couldn't make this right. There's no way he could. There's nothing he could do to undo the wrong that he had done. There's no way he can pull the hurt back and have it like it didn't happen. He couldn't fix this himself. He was totally dependent on the grace and the love and the forgiveness that Jesus could do for him.
Does that sound familiar to any of us? It should, because all of us are in the place of Peter in this story. All of us have hurt Jesus for our sin, our denials, our rejections, our failures, and not a one of us can fix it. Not a one of us can make it right.
"Oh, I'll do better; I'll start making..." But that doesn't take the hurt away, does it? It doesn't erase what happened. That requires forgiveness on the part of the person that's been offended. That's the only way that can happen.
Jesus knew it would happen, and He was hurt, but He decided to forgive, and He took the initiative to restore the relationship. Understand, Peter probably felt like he couldn't approach Jesus at this point. So if there was going to be reconciliation, if there was going to be forgiveness, who had to initiate it? Jesus did. That's the only way it was going to happen.
And friends, let me tell you something: whatever grudge or resentment or anger you're holding on to right now, the only person that can have enough control over that to take care of it is you. You have to take the initiative to decide to forgive and let go of it. The other person can't make that happen for you.
And the example of Jesus is you don't even need to wait for the other person to make the first move. You should be the one making that move yourself if you're going to love like Jesus. It wasn't dependent on Peter and what Peter did. Jesus decided to do this and take the initiative before Peter did anything to make this right.
You see, that's the hardest thing, isn't it? We're waiting on the other person to do what we want them to do. We're waiting on the other person to admit they were wrong, to confess how bad they were, to ask for forgiveness and plead for forgiveness from us before we think we need to do anything in response.
But loving like Jesus means we take the initiative in this forgiveness thing, no matter what the other person is doing or is not doing. We take the initiative.
Now, you have to understand when you take the initiative to forgive and you decide you're going to do that, it does not mean that what the other person did was okay, and you're not saying that when you forgive.
See, the fact that forgiveness is needed means it wasn't okay. You see the connection there? The fact that you need to forgive means that what happened was not okay. So you're not ever saying to somebody that's done some bad thing to you, "Oh, no big deal; that's all right." It's not okay. That's why it requires something really hard called forgiveness.
If it was okay, it wouldn't require that. Some people think it's a weakness to forgive because you're acting like it was okay what that person did. No, it's not. That's not what forgiveness is.
You see, Jesus didn't die on the cross for us because our sins were okay. You understand that? They were not okay. It cost Him His life. That's how not okay it was for us to commit those sins. But He chooses to forgive, even at that great cost.
That's the love described in 1 Corinthians 13. That's the love He wants us to have with each other, and it's a love that's beyond our ability without the Spirit of God leading and guiding and directing and controlling us.
He took the initiative, and He released Peter from the past. How do we know He did that? Here's how we know. How many times did Peter deny Him? How many times did He ask Peter, "Do you love me?" Three. Each time, though, He told Peter to do what? Feed my sheep.
You know what He's saying to Peter? "The past is not going to hold you back. You are released from that past to move forward in the work that I've called you to."
You see, if Jesus was only able to use people in the work of the ministry of the Gospel, then how many people would He have to use? Not in order for us to be used to lead anybody to Jesus, to help people come to know and follow Jesus, in order for us to impact the world for Christ.
He has to use broken, frail, sinful people who have received forgiveness through what He did on the cross. Those are the only ones He has to use, and those are the ones He chooses to use and welcome into the work of His kingdom.
He took the initiative, and He released Peter when He said, "Feed my sheep." "Peter, get out there and do what I've called you to do." He'd already told Peter long before this, "Peter, your name is Petros. Peter, it means Little Rock, but upon this big rock, the foundation Rock, I will build my church."
He told Peter, "I'm going to give you the key to the kingdom." What's a key do? Unlocks the door so you can open it. He's saying, "Peter, He had chosen Peter before the denial to be the one who would open up the doors to the kingdom of God."
Fast forward to after the resurrection, to after Jesus ascends back to the Father. He told them to wait in Jerusalem, and there, while they were waiting in Jerusalem, the Holy Spirit came upon them. They began to share the good news in all those languages of the people that were there.
And then Peter stood up from among them and preached the first Gospel sermon ever preached. Peter, this guy that denied Jesus three times, this guy that Jesus said, "Go feed my sheep. I'm not done with you yet, Peter," because of grace, because of forgiveness, because the price has been paid, because you're released from the past, you can be used to open up the kingdom of God to the world.
You see, forgiveness is powerful. It is so powerful. The most powerful thing about forgiveness, though, is not what it does for the other person; it's what it does for you. It's what it does for me.
You see, forgiveness is something you need to do even when you don't feel like it. Forgiveness is not an act of the emotion; it's an act of the will. It is a decision that you make. It's an act of obedience to God to forgive. It's an act of obedience even when you don't feel like it. You can obey; you can still choose to do it with the help of God.
You remember Jesus came across this paralytic by the pool of Bethesda, and the paralytic is out there begging, asking people to help him, give him money, take care of him. And Jesus looks at the paralytic, and you know what His question was? "Do you want to get well?"
Now, he's a paralytic. It says he'd been that way for a long time. He's had to beg for a living. He's had to depend on other people just throwing him loose change if they had anything extra for his whole life. Why would Jesus even ask the question, "Do you want to get well?"
Because if he gets well, who's going to be responsible now for how he lives his life moving forward? He is. And if you're holding on to anger and resentment and a grudge, and it's eating away at you and your life and your relationships, here's the question Jesus has for you: "Do you want to get well?"
Because if you want to get well from that, it has nothing to do with the person who wronged you. It has everything to do with you and what you're willing to do with that anger and that grudge and that resentment.
That's my question for you today: Do you want to get well? Do you want healing? Do you want to have the joy restored? Do you want to not be enslaved by the resentment and the anger and the bitterness anymore? Do you want to get past that? Do you want to get well?
If Jesus Christ can forgive me, if Jesus can forgive you, then we really, really do need to be willing to forgive whoever it is we have that grudge against and that anger that we're holding on to because that's the only way to get well. It's the only way to heal. It's the only way for the joy to be restored, the peace to come back and remain.
You have to forgive. I heard this a little while back, and boy, it just hit me really hard in a good way. He said this: "When I think I'm unfairly treated, I make myself remember that I am unfairly loved."
I am unfairly loved by God. You see, my sin put Jesus on that cross just like your sin put Jesus on that cross. It is unfair that God would choose to love me when I did that to His Son.
So don't talk to me about fair when it comes to your unwillingness to forgive somebody else. You're all loved unfairly right here, right now, and so am I.
So Jesus taught us to pray, "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who've trespassed against us."
Do you want to get well?
Let's pray.
Father, this is one of the hardest things for us in the flesh, but You already know that because You've led the way in doing this Yourself. You've set the perfect example in Your Son Jesus, who was so unfairly treated by all of us.
And yet, instead of retaliation, instead of anger lashing out against us in Your wrath, You offered grace. You offered mercy. You offered forgiveness. I pray that all of us here would recognize just how unfair that is to You, but how amazing it is for us that You've chosen that.
And Father, if somebody here today has not been a recipient of that grace, I pray they would recognize that it's there for them right now, here today, and they would respond in faith, turning from their sin to find You right there with that grace and that forgiveness through Your Son Jesus.
For those of us that might be struggling with any bitterness or anger or resentment today, Father, by the power of Your Spirit, the teaching of Your Word, help us to be willing to be healed by forgiving the way we need to forgive.
We pray this in Jesus' name. Amen.
If you're here today and you have a decision of obedience you need to take today, to come maybe to make this your church home, maybe to be baptized in Christ, if you've not taken that step to profess Jesus as your Lord and Savior, to come to know the grace of the forgiveness of God in your life, then as we stand and sing right now, we invite you to come.
Let's stand and sing.
"Love does not harbor a grudge, it does not hold on to resentment. The message today is to release resentment. If we're going to love like God loves, then we've got to learn to let go, to release resentment, to stop holding the grudge, to be willing to forgive and move on, move forward in life." [26:41 <5gWP7A1Sl4k>]( | | )
"Jesus taught us that one of the characteristics of a distinctive Christian life is that we have the capacity to forgive. That makes us most like God. Jesus, when he was teaching us to pray, taught us to pray 'forgive us our trespasses or debts as we forgive others who have trespassed against us.'" [29:42 <5gWP7A1Sl4k>]( | | )
"Jesus knew it would happen and he was hurt. We don't think of that sometimes, but Jesus was in the flesh like our flesh, and when someone you love and that you think loves you does that to you, does it hurt you? Yes, it hurts all of us when that happens. Well, guess what, Jesus felt. He was hurt too." [43:33 <5gWP7A1Sl4k>]( | | )
"Jesus didn't die on the cross for us because our sins were okay. They were not okay; it cost him his life. That's how not okay it was for us to commit those sins. But he chooses to forgive, even at that great cost. That's the love described in First Corinthians 13, that's the love he wants us to have with each other." [56:04 <5gWP7A1Sl4k>]( | | )
"Forgiveness is powerful. The most powerful thing about forgiveness, though, is not what it does for the other person, it's what it does for you, it's what it does for me. You see, forgiveness is something you need to do even when you don't feel like it. Forgiveness is not an act of the emotion; it's an act of the will." [59:22 <5gWP7A1Sl4k>]( | | )
"Do you want to get well? Because if you want to get well from that, it has nothing to do with the person who wronged you; it has everything to do with you and what you're willing to do with that anger and that grudge and that resentment. That's my question for you today: do you want to get well?" [01:01:12 <5gWP7A1Sl4k>]( | | )
"When I think I'm unfairly treated, I make myself remember that I am unfairly loved. I am unfairly loved by God. You see, my sin put Jesus on that cross just like your sin put Jesus on that cross. It is unfair that God would choose to love me when I did that to his son." [01:02:45 <5gWP7A1Sl4k>]( | | )
"Jesus decided to forgive. I'm amazed at what Jesus was willing to do even though he was treated so poorly, not just by his enemies but by those who were supposed to be his closest, dearest friends. In the Gospel of John chapter 21, we find that it's after the resurrection, and Jesus is not done with Peter yet." [45:34 <5gWP7A1Sl4k>]( | | )
"Jesus took the initiative and he released Peter from the past. How do we know he did that? Here's how we know: how many times did Peter deny him? Three. How many times did he ask Peter, 'Do you love me?' Three. Each time, though, he told Peter to do what? 'Feed my sheep.' You know what he's saying to Peter? The past is not going to hold you back." [56:40 <5gWP7A1Sl4k>]( | | )
"Jesus said to the paralytic by the pool of Bethesda, 'Do you want to get well?' Now he's a paralytic; it says he'd been that way for a long time. He's had to beg for a living, he's had to depend on other people just throwing him loose change. Why would Jesus even ask the question, 'Do you want to get well?'" [59:59 <5gWP7A1Sl4k>]( | | )
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