In our journey through the Extreme Makeover: Relationship Edition series, we have been exploring the transformative power of the Holy Spirit in our lives, particularly in the realm of relationships. We understand that the fruit of the Spirit is essential for a life that honors God and fosters healthy connections with others. As we delve into the complexities of human interaction, we recognize that dealing with difficult people is an inevitable part of our existence. Yet, it is in these challenging encounters that our character is tested and our growth as followers of Christ is manifested.

We began by acknowledging the need for an internal makeover, a heart transformation that precedes any external change. This internal work is crucial because it is from the abundance of the heart that our actions and words flow. We must allow God to search our hearts, to reveal areas of conflict, and to show us the true nature of our interactions with others. If we find ourselves in constant strife, it is a clear indication that we need to invite the Holy Spirit to cultivate His fruit within us.

In dealing with difficult people, we must first examine ourselves. It is easy to identify the flaws in others while being blind to our own. We must ask God to reveal if we are the source of difficulty in our relationships. Are we the critic, the martyr, the wet blanket, the steamroller, the control freak, the volcano, the sponge, the manipulator, or the one-upper? It is only through honest self-assessment that we can begin to address these tendencies and align ourselves with God's will.

Furthermore, we must approach relationships with the understanding that it is not our responsibility to make others happy. True joy and contentment come from within and cannot be manufactured or imposed by external forces. We must set healthy boundaries, recognizing that we cannot solve everyone's problems, nor should we feel guilty for not meeting unrealistic demands.

As we navigate the complexities of relationships, we must also be mindful of our words. They have the power to build up or tear down. We must refrain from name-calling, raising our voices, dredging up the past, and using absolutes like "never" or "always." These behaviors only serve to escalate conflicts and hinder reconciliation.

In summary, our relationships are a reflection of our walk with Christ. As we strive to live out the fruit of the Spirit, we must be intentional in our interactions, always seeking to discover beauty in everyone and to get along with others, as instructed in Romans 12:17-19. Let us be a people who bless God in every circumstance, who stand firm in faith, and who invite Jesus into every aspect of our lives.

Key Takeaways:

- The transformation of our hearts is the foundation for healthy relationships. We must allow God to search our hearts and reveal any areas of conflict or difficulty within us. This self-awareness is the first step toward growth and healing in our interactions with others. [51:50]

- Setting boundaries is not only wise but necessary for our well-being and the health of our relationships. We must understand that we are not responsible for the happiness of others and that each person must choose joy for themselves. This realization frees us from the burden of trying to please everyone. [49:42]

- Our words carry immense power and must be used to edify rather than to harm. By avoiding name-calling, yelling, and bringing up past offenses, we create an environment where the Spirit's fruit can flourish, and relationships can thrive. [47:00]

- Dealing with difficult people requires us to reflect Christ's love and patience. We must resist the urge to retaliate or become embroiled in arguments, especially on platforms like social media. Instead, we should be a unifying force, exemplifying the peace and grace of Jesus. [45:04]

- Embracing the truth that we are better together, we must celebrate our diversity and the unique contributions of each individual. As we prepare for events like Easter and International Day, let us remember that our unity in Christ transcends all differences and binds us in His love. [33:33]

**Bible Reading:**

1. Galatians 5:22-23 (ESV)
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."

2. Matthew 7:1-5 (ESV)
"Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."

3. Romans 12:17-19 (ESV)
"Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.'"

4. Ephesians 4:26-27 (ESV)
"Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil."

**Observation Questions:**

1. What are the characteristics of the fruit of the Spirit listed in Galatians 5:22-23, and how do they contrast with the actions of someone living in the flesh?

2. In Matthew 7:1-5, what does Jesus teach about judging others, and how does this relate to the concept of self-examination before correcting someone else?

3. According to Romans 12:17-19, what is the believer's responsibility when wronged by another, and what is God's role in dealing with injustice?

4. Ephesians 4:26-27 allows for anger but warns against sinning. What are the potential consequences of not resolving anger promptly?

**Interpretation Questions:**

1. How might the fruit of the Spirit transform a person's approach to conflict and relationships, as described in Galatians 5:22-23?

2. Reflecting on Matthew 7:1-5, how can recognizing one's own faults lead to healthier interactions with others and prevent hypocritical behavior?

3. Considering Romans 12:17-19, how can a person live out the principle of not repaying evil for evil in practical terms within their community?

4. In light of Ephesians 4:26-27, what are some biblical strategies for managing anger in a way that honors God and maintains healthy relationships?

**Application Questions:**

1. Choose one aspect of the fruit of the Spirit to focus on this week. What specific action will you take to cultivate it in your daily life?

2. Think of a recent situation where you felt tempted to judge someone. How can you apply the teaching from Matthew 7:1-5 to approach similar situations differently in the future?

3. Identify a conflict or situation where you felt wronged. How can you apply the principles from Romans 12:17-19 to seek peace and leave room for God's justice?

4. Consider a time when you were angry this past week. What steps can you take to resolve that anger biblically, as advised in Ephesians 4:26-27, before it leads to sin?

Day 1: Transformation Begins Within
The journey to a fulfilling relationship with God and others starts with an inward transformation. This process is akin to an extreme makeover of the heart, where one allows the fruit of the Spirit to manifest in their life. It's about recognizing that frequent conflicts or the distress caused by one's actions are indicators of a deeper need for spiritual growth. By inviting the Holy Spirit to renew one's inner being, a person can begin to exhibit love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These qualities are essential for nurturing healthy relationships and are a testament to the transformative work of God within an individual. [51:00]

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." - Galatians 5:22-23 ESV

Reflection: What aspect of the fruit of the Spirit do you feel is least evident in your life, and what practical steps can you take to cultivate it starting today?

Day 2: The Cornerstone of Our Faith
The Christian faith is built upon the foundation of Jesus Christ's sacrifice. His death on the cross and subsequent resurrection are not just historical events but the very essence of our hope and salvation. This cornerstone sets Christianity apart, offering believers the promise of eternal life and the strength to live in a way that honors God. Understanding and embracing this truth is crucial for one's spiritual journey, as it empowers individuals to overcome life's challenges and to extend the same grace they have received to others. [54:28]

"And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross." - Philippians 2:8 ESV

Reflection: How does the reality of Jesus' life, death, and resurrection influence the way you interact with those who may not yet know Him?

Day 3: Worship as a Response to Faithfulness
Worship is a profound response to God's unchanging nature and His unwavering faithfulness. It is an acknowledgment of His presence in every situation, whether in times of joy or in the midst of trials. Worship is not limited to songs and prayers but is a lifestyle of inviting God to work within our hearts and lives. As believers lift their hands in worship, they are reminded of God's steadfast love and are encouraged to trust Him more deeply. [21:48]

"For I the Lord do not change; therefore you, O children of Jacob, are not consumed." - Malachi 3:6 ESV

Reflection: In what ways can you incorporate worship into your daily routine, beyond music and church services, to constantly remind yourself of God's presence?

Day 4: Wisdom in Relationships
Navigating relationships, especially with difficult individuals, requires wisdom and the application of biblical principles. It involves setting healthy boundaries and understanding that one cannot be responsible for another's happiness. Approaching conflicts with a spirit of love and firmness is key to maintaining peace and order. This approach is grounded in the knowledge that every person is accountable for their own actions and emotions, and it is through prayer and reflection that one can align their heart with God's will. [50:23]

"Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand;" - Philippians 4:5 ESV

Reflection: Can you identify a relationship where you need to establish healthier boundaries, and what is one step you can take this week to initiate that change?

Day 5: Generosity as Worship
Generosity in giving is an expression of worship that extends beyond the walls of the church. It is a tangible way to participate in the mission of the church, supporting its work and outreach. When believers give, they do so trusting that God will use their contributions to further His kingdom and impact lives. This act of faith is a reflection of a heart that is aligned with God's purposes and is willing to be used for His glory. [57:03]

"Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully." - 2 Corinthians 9:6 ESV

Reflection: What is one way you can practice generosity this week, trusting that God will use your gift to bless others and further His work?

- "It's not your responsibility to make other people happy. You are never in charge of someone's happiness; they have to make that choice." [49:42](Download | Crop For Social Media)

- "Set some boundaries. You can be nice, loving, and kind, but somewhere along the line, you have to say no. Set boundaries without feeling guilty for not meeting all demands." [51:00](Download | Crop For Social Media)

- "Pray this prayer: 'Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.'" [51:50](Download | Crop For Social Media)

- "Discover beauty in everyone. If you've got it in you, get along with everybody. Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you. I'll do the judging, says God." [40:22](Download | Crop For Social Media)

- "Check the mirror. Often, the difficult person for you is someone just like you. Ask God if these characteristics are in my life. Am I the person people avoid?" [41:03](Download | Crop For Social Media)

- "Being offended is a choice. Offenses will come, so you need to deal with it. Don't carry an offense in your life; it only leads to frustration and division." [46:24](Download | Crop For Social Media)

- "Watch your words. No name-calling, never raise your voice, never get historical, and never use absolutes like 'never' or 'always.' These behaviors escalate conflicts." [47:00](Download | Crop For Social Media)

- "We are better together. Celebrate our diversity and the unique contributions of each individual. Our unity in Christ transcends all differences." [33:33](Download | Crop For Social Media)

- "If you're constantly in conflict, ask God to show you why. If people don't want to be around you, it might be because of the roles you put on." [53:01](Download | Crop For Social Media)

- "The church should be a unification force, not a divided force. As we move into this political year, don't allow yourself to be divided." [45:44](Download | Crop For Social Media)

**Ral Light:**

Well, good morning! It's great to see you. Today, we have the great honor to follow somebody on their journey to be baptized in water. And by the way, if you've never been baptized in water, we have shorts, shirts, t-shirts, and towels. So if you'll go right over here, this beautiful young lady over here, the tall one, she will help you. We'll get you set up.

You know, it's very important on our journey that we follow the principle that Jesus laid down. He was baptized, and He didn't need to be baptized, but He was baptized as an example to us. So what's thrilling today is when we watch this candidate being baptized, it's symbolic of what's happened in his life and how Jesus Christ has changed him.

So, when he goes under the water, it's representative of the old person, and when we come up, it's the new person. So, who do we have today?

**Anita:**

This is Dylan Coen.

**Ral Light:**

Hey, Dylan! How old are you?

**Dylan:**

12.

**Ral Light:**

Dylan is 12, but he's been coming here since he was about three, I think. Wow, that's awesome! It's been amazing to watch him in his journey with Jesus, and to take this step today of baptism is incredible. So as we watch Dylan, let's make sure we make a lot of noise when he comes up out of the water because that's signifying new life in Jesus.

Okay, well, let's pray. Yay! Amen.

Father, we thank You today, Lord, for Dylan. We thank You that he's following Your example, and we pray that this day sticks in his mind forever as a life change, Lord. We thank You for young people who make a commitment, and today we worship You because You are worthy of worship. In Your name, let's stand and let's worship and celebrate today. Amen.

---

**Worship:**

There is peace in the valley when the enemy surrounding, I will not fear.

There is light in the darkness; He's the fire by night, always with us.

All hope in the day, no weapon can stand against our hiding place, Jesus, the Great I Am.

Count it joy in the trial; know this fight is over and He's just begun.

There is strength in the waiting; He's the faithful one, never failing.

All hope in the name, no weapon can stand against our hiding place, Jesus, the Great I Am.

Come on, put your hands together! Yeah!

We lift our eyes; there's more on our side. This battle is already won.

We put our faith in things we have not yet seen.

This battle is already won.

We lift our eyes; there's more on our side. This battle is already won.

We put our faith in things we have not yet seen.

This battle is already won.

We lift our eyes; there's more on our side. This battle is already won.

We put our faith in things we have not yet seen.

This battle is already won.

All hope in the name, no weapon can stand against our hiding place, Jesus, the Great I Am.

Come on, give Him praise in this place! He is the Great I Am. Amen.

No matter what weapon has tried to form itself against you, know that He is greater. Amen.

Blessed are those who run to Him, who place their hope and confidence in Jesus; He won't forsake them.

Blessed are those who seek His face, who bend their knee and fix their case on Jesus; they won't be shamed.

Come on and praise the Lord with me! Sing if you love His name!

Come on and lift your voice with me; He's worthy of all our praise.

Blessed are those who walk with Him, whose hearts are set on pilgrimage with Jesus; they'll see His glory.

Blessed are those who die and live. The joy it is to give it all for Jesus and for Him only.

Oh, Jesus, all for Your glory!

Come on and praise the Lord with me! Sing if you love His name!

Come on and lift your voice with me; He's worthy of all our praise.

Come on and bring your offering! Sing if you know His grace!

Come on and lift up your holy hands; He's worthy of all our praise.

Bless God in the sanctuary!

Bless God in the fields of plenty!

Bless God in the darkest valley!

Every chance I get, I'll bless Your name.

Bless God when my hands are empty!

Bless God with the praise that costs me!

Bless God when nobody's watching!

Every chance I get, I'll bless Your name.

Bless God when no weapons forming!

Bless God when no walls are falling!

Bless God 'cause He goes before me!

Every chance I get, I'll bless Your name.

Bless God for He holds the victory!

Bless God for He's always with me!

Bless God for He's always worthy!

Every chance I get, I'll bless Your name.

Every chance I can, I place on every chance I get.

Come on and praise the Lord with me! Sing if you love His name!

Come on and lift your voice with me; He's worthy of all our praise.

Yes, He is worthy of all our praise.

Thank You, Jesus! We bless Your holy name.

How many of us know that it's hard to bless His name when you're going through a struggle?

When you're surrounded by storms, maybe it's an addiction, maybe you're in need of healing, maybe it's financial.

But God is a faithful God, and He's the same God that was performing miracles back then; He's still performing miracles today.

He's always with us; it's us that loses the focus.

So when you feel like you're far away from Him, seek Him.

Seek Him first. Revelation 3:20 says that, "Behold, I stand at the door knocking, and if you open the door, I will come in."

He says, "I will come in and share a meal with you."

That hits so hard because it's on an intimate level, and all He wants is a relationship with each and every one of us.

Yes, as His children, don't you think that God, if He would come into your heart and share a meal with you, won't He heal you?

Yes, when He blesses you!

He clothed the lilies of the field and the birds of the air; He feeds them.

Won't He do a miracle for you?

Yes, yes, He will!

So as we sing this next song, thank You, Jesus, I pray that we sing it with an expectation because He's the same God that parted the Red Sea.

He's the same God that shut the mouths of lions.

He's the same God that was the Fourth Man standing in the fire.

He's the same God.

We thank You, Jesus!

I'm calling on the God of Jacob, whose love endures through generations.

Yes, I know that You will keep Your covenant.

I'm calling on the God of Moses, the one who opened up the ocean.

I need You now to do the same thing for me.

Yes, Lord!

Oh God, my God, I need You!

Oh God, my God, I need You now!

How I need You now!

Oh, Rock of Ages, I'm standing on Your faithfulness, on Your faithful name.

Oh, I'm calling on the God of Mary, whose favor rests upon the lowly.

I know that You all things are possible.

So I'm calling on the God of David, who made a shepherd boy courageous.

Yes, He did!

I may not face the lion, but I've got my own giants.

Oh God, my God, I need You!

Oh God, my God, I need You now!

How I need You now!

Oh, Rock of Ages, I'm standing on Your faithfulness, on Your faithful name.

Yes!

Oh God, my God, I need You!

Oh God, my God, I need You now!

We need You now, Lord!

Rock of Ages, Your word, You're the same God!

He's the same God; He never changes, no, and He never fails!

Oh, You heard Your children; You hear Your children now!

You are the same God!

You are the same God!

You answered prayers back then, and You will answer now!

You are the same God!

You are the same God!

You are providing now!

You are the same God!

Oh yes, it is!

You are the same God!

You move in power, God!

Move in power now!

You are the same God!

You are the same God!

You are a healer!

You are a healer!

You are the healer!

Yes, He is!

You are the Savior!

Now You are the same God!

You are the God!

Oh God, my God, I need You!

Oh God, my God, I need You!

I'm standing on Your word!

Oh God!

Oh God, my God, I need You!

Rock of Ages, I'm standing on Your faithfulness!

Yes, He's so good!

He's so good!

You're so good to me!

Yeah!

Oh yes, You're the same God!

You're the same God yesterday, today, and forever!

He's still moving; He's still healing!

Yes, we invite You in, Your majesty!

We invite You in, Lord!

Come on and just lift hands all over this place!

He just wants you!

We receive You, God, in all Your wonder, in all Your splendor, and in all Your majesty!

That You would choose to save us despite all of our faults, despite all of our shortcomings, despite our imperfectness!

You still love us!

You're still there for us!

You still take us by the hand, and You comfort us!

Yes, You stand with us so that we don't have to be afraid!

We cast out all fear!

We cast out all doubt in the name of Jesus!

We stand right now speaking against any strongholds in the name of Jesus!

Because He's the same God that delivered then, and He's delivered you now!

In the name of Jesus, have Your way in this place, Lord!

Have Your way in this place!

We thank You!

We are Your people, and I pray that we would come to a place of surrender before You in the name of Jesus!

Do what only You can do in this place and in our hearts, Lord!

Thank You, Jesus!

And everyone all over the church said, "Amen!"

He's an amazing God, isn't He?

Well, before you sit down, if you could just turn to someone you haven't met before and welcome them to the Father's House.

Good morning! Good morning! Good morning, Father's House!

Let's make some noise, guys!

You know how blessed we are to be in this country to be able to worship Him freely!

Welcome to the Father's House!

My name is Kelly.

**Serenity:**

And my name is Serenity, and we are so excited to have you with us here this morning!

If you are new to the Father's House today, right in front of you, we want to just first off say thank you for being with us!

We want to get to know you as much as you're comfortable with.

So in the seat in front of you, you'll find this connection card.

If you can fill it out to the place that you're comfortable with filling it out, giving us the information that you're comfortable with, hold on to it, and then after service, we have a place in the foyer called "New Here, Start Here."

This is a great place for you to connect, and we can find out more about you, and you can find out more about our vision for the Father's House as well.

For those of you that are old school, that you've been here for a hot minute, we want to say thank you, and we love you too!

If there's anything that has changed as far as your email address, your physical address, prayer requests, praise reports, pop that on that connection card and put it in the offering buckets as they pass through.

And again, we just want to tell you how excited we are to have you here today!

And we're going to give it over to Miss Pretty Thing here.

**Kelly:**

All right! So every week, we want to remind ourselves what our mission is here at TFH, so we're going to go ahead and say that together:

We are bringing hope and impacting our community by leading people into a growing relationship with Jesus.

So one of the ways we bring hope and impact our community is through our faithful, cheerful giving.

You'll hear more about that and have the opportunity to give at the end of service in one of the four ways you see up there on the screen.

We also do something around here called "Change for Change," and this month it goes towards benevolence.

**Serenity:**

Yes! Also, there's a lot going on here at TFH, but not because we need something to fill our calendars, right?

Everything we do around here helps us take a step in growing relationships with Jesus and others.

Whether you're male, female, young, or old, we have something for everyone!

So make sure you regularly go to thefathershouse.com to stay in the know, or there's a QR code up there as well, so stay connected and you don't miss a thing!

All right, if you want to go ahead and pray us out.

**Kelly:**

All right, guys, let's pray.

Hey Jesus, we love You!

We love You!

We love You!

We thank You for everything that You've already done today and all the things that You still have yet to do.

Thank You for preparing our hearts, our minds, and our spirits to hear the word that we come challenged and ready to do the next step that You've called us to do.

In Your name, You get all praise, all glory!

In Jesus' name, and everybody said, "Amen!"

---

**Black History Month:**

Black History Month is the celebration and commemoration of black achievements, a month dedicated to African Americans and the African American community to show the fight and struggles that African Americans went through and still go through.

It allows me to really appreciate the friends that I have and appreciate their culture and really get to learn about our history as Americans together, but also the origins of where other people come from, and I think that's very important.

It's a time that we, as a society and as a people, not just in America but all over the world, come together to celebrate black people and all that we have done in spite of adversity.

There's a lot of people in the world that are not educated about Black History Month or just about African American history.

Without everyone back then, I wouldn't be where I'm at.

Pretty much like Jackie Robinson or Martin Luther King.

I think it's important, especially to follow the history of civil rights leaders like Martin Luther King, so that we can just never reverse back to a place that we were before.

Everyone, at the end of the day, should be equal no matter what skin color or race you are.

It's a time for black people to value themselves and celebrate themselves, and it's a time for non-black people to also celebrate and understand that black history is a part of world history—not just American history, not just their town's history, but the history and the advancement of the world and of us as people.

For us to say, "Yeah, we're black, we're African American," but there's a lot of meaning behind that that we should educate and let people know about that.

For white individuals, for them to be around other black people or have black friends or family members or even mixed friends and family members, I feel like that's important for them as well so they could be educated and just know what we have been through or what we still go through.

So it's a very important month to me.

---

**Ral Light:**

Wow, it's great to see you today! Man, I love that worship on this rainy day!

You came out on a day like this; you guys get double awards when you get to heaven!

I really believe that.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for being here!

It's a great opportunity today.

I want to thank you for all the birthday cards and gifts.

They're still coming in because with me, it's a birthday month!

When you get as old as I am, you can do that!

Let me just share with you also, we're in this series on relationships, and we're doing another YouVersion plan this week that will go for 21 days, and it's called "Better Together."

So you can go to our website and click on that, or you can use the QR code and sign up.

It's going to be awesome!

Well, how many know what's happening the last Sunday of March?

Easter! Easter! Easter!

He is risen!

The resurrection of Jesus!

And it's also our 28th year church anniversary on Easter!

But Easter is the time which separates Christianity from all other religions.

All other religions can tell you the time that their founder was born and died, but you'll not find that with Jesus.

You go to His tomb, and it says, "He's not here, for He is risen!"

So on Easter, more people are aware and want to come to church than any other time.

So we recognize that, and we realize that we've been running between 600 and 700 adults in here, plus kids next door, and we know Easter we're going to max out.

So we've been praying, and on Easter, we're going to do three services.

We're going to do a 7:30, a 9:00, and an 11:00.

And I'm going to ask you to do your best to invite people.

I'm trusting that you will cooperate and that you will use what God has spoken to you and said it's a great time to say, "Hey, would you come with me? It's Easter service! It's going to be really great!"

We've got a lot of things, and we're going to be giving out tickets in the next week or so to distribute how many we have in the first service, the second, and the third.

Then you can take that ticket to your friend and say, "You know what? You're so special! I got you a special ticket—that's a reserved seat for our 7:30, 9:00, or 11:00."

And I really believe that we're going to pack out this place three times!

I'm believing that because last time I checked, the Lord is worthy of that!

Would you believe that? Would you say Amen to that?

So I really like for you to begin asking people.

We've got about four weeks now.

Asking, "Hey, come with me on Easter! Come with me! It's going to be great!"

Looking forward to that!

Well, if you have your Bible, your iPhone, your iPad, whatever you use for scripture, let's say this together:

This is my Bible.

It is the word of God.

It is life to me today.

I receive the word.

I confess my mind is alert, my heart is receptive.

I am obedient in Jesus' name. Amen.

Father, we thank You today for Your presence.

Man, when we were singing that song, we just felt You here!

And Lord, we need You—that's what we say every day.

As I approach this teaching today, I pray, Holy Spirit, that You would bring forth the anointing that You have given.

I pray You'd help me to say everything I need to say; don't let me say anything I shouldn't say.

And Lord, at the end of today, I pray that You may be glorified, the saints may be edified, and the devil may be terrified in the name of Jesus!

Well, we're in this series, "Extreme Makeover: Relationship Edition," and next week we'll finalize that.

Next week is our International Day, in which we ask people to celebrate their heritage and wear clothing from your background.

I'm sure you've already gotten an email about that, and Pastor Kevin will be with us.

He's got a powerful message.

I talked with him last night about the teaching God's given him—a brand new teaching.

Because you know what? We are better together!

Right? You believe that? Say, "We're better together!"

We're better together!

So if you got your notes, you see the title today: "Dealing with Difficult People."

Now, I know that as soon as some of you read that, you've already got those people in mind, right?

How many of you raise your hand? You know those people, right?

Those people!

Those people that make life difficult, and they make dealing with relationships difficult.

So I've been thinking in the last three or four weeks about those challenging people.

So let's look at some of the challenging people.

This list is not exhaustive, but it is a good one to start.

First of all, there's the critic.

They constantly complain, and they're always giving you unwanted advice, right?

And then there's the martyr.

They're forever the victim, full of self-pity, right?

They feel rejected, and they feel like their lot in life is to be burned at the stake because nobody appreciates them, nobody understands them.

And they say things like this to you: "Oh, don't worry about me! I'm fine! You don't need to invite me over! I don't need to be included in that! You just don't have time for my worries!"

You know what I mean? The martyr.

And then there's the wet blanket—the pessimistic, automatically negative person.

I mean, they attend a wedding, and they say, "Oh, the wedding was beautiful, but I can't believe the groom didn't lose more weight! He's fat!"

And they're usually negative about whatever you're excited about.

You know what I mean?

I mean, when they smell flowers, they start looking for a coffin!

And then there's the steamroller.

They are blindly insensitive to their words and to other people.

I mean, they're liable to say to you, "What's wrong with your hair today? I never noticed your nose was that big! Are you wearing those? Those clothes don't match!"

And they're just insensitive, and they're just like a steamroller.

And then there's the control freak.

You know what I mean?

Unable to let go and not willing to let be.

Like the little boy who was holding a cat's tail, and it was screaming, and his mother yelled at him, "Quit pulling on that cat's tail!"

He said, "I'm not pulling! I'm holding!"

He's merely pulling away!

So sometimes they have a hard time just letting go.

And then, of course, there's the volcano.

They build up steam; you can see it!

You watch their face get red; you watch their eyes; you watch the veins in their neck pop!

You watch that, and then you start to see saliva come out of the side of their mouth because they're trying to hold everything in.

And if things don't go their way, what do they do?

They just erupt and explode all over you!

And they're just selfish, and they're plain rude!

Say rude!

Rude!

And then there's the sponge.

Oh, the sponge!

Constantly soaking up your life!

They're clinging to you for dear life!

I mean, they're jealous of what you've got; they're jealous of who you are!

And they're just like, "I don't know how you can get something new like that! Oh, I wish! You know, if you ever want to get rid of that, you can give it to me! I think that'll fit me!"

You know, just like, "Oh, come on!"

The sponge!

And this one is the next one: the manipulator.

Could be a relative, and they say to you, "Well, you're not coming over for the birthday party? I mean, this is an important birthday party! How could you be part of the family and not come over? You need to do that!"

Or maybe it's a friend of yours that's just always manipulating you, and they're just demanding things of you.

Look, life is too short to go through it being controlled and doing things out of guilt, right?

They guilt you!

"Well, you know, I haven't seen you for a while, but you know, it's okay."

A true friend doesn't do you that way!

And then there's the one-upper.

I just added this one because I thought this one was so good!

They know everything about everything, and they're going to tell you every chance they get!

I mean, they're always right about everything!

I mean, they were right about COVID because their sources are better than yours!

They're right about the political election coming up because their sources are better than yours!

And if you say something to them, say, "Wow, I had the opportunity to invite two people to church," and then they'll say, "Oh yeah, I invited five last week!"

Or in today's world, they put it on Instagram!

In other words, they're going to one-up whatever you say!

And like almost eight out of eight billion people in the world, they think they're the smartest person who ever lived!

Now, as we look through that list, if you say, "Wow, I don't have any of these in my life," it's you!

Nobody wanted to tell you, but you're that person!

And some of you fill a lot of different categories here.

Dealing with difficult people drains our energy, eats up our time, and creates stress of unnecessary hassles.

So today, I want to talk to you about how we can deal with those people in such a way that honors who they are and shows the love of God.

I love this verse. Would you read it with me out loud?

Romans 12:17-19: "Discover beauty in everyone."

Let's just stop there.

Look around! Look at the beauty this morning!

All ages, different colors, tall, short, challenged!

Look at this next line: "If you've got it in you, get along with everybody!"

That should be a country song!

Get along with everybody!

All right, look at your neighbor and say, "Let's just get along!"

Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you.

I'll do the judging, says God; I'll take care of it.

So what are we going to do?

First of all, we got to start here: we got to check the mirror.

Because you see, what often happens is that long list—because you are one of those or you have several of those—then you know who is a difficult person for you: someone that's just like you!

I mean, you see it in the manipulating; you see the controlling; you see all of those things.

So I have to ask God, "Are these characteristics in my life? Am I the person when somebody sees me in public, all of a sudden they go to a different lane so they don't have to be around me?"

You've done that!

You say, "Oh, I saw so-and-so is here; I'm not going here! Let's go somewhere else!"

Why?

They drained the life out of you!

But what if that person is you?

You say, "I don't have any good relationships."

What if it's because you're one of those people, and it's hard for people to get close to you because you put on one of those roles, and that's how you live?

Look at this: Matthew 7.

"Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults, unless, of course, you want the same treatment.

That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging.

It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly snare on your own.

Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted with contempt?

It's the whole thing, traveling road show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part.

Wipe the ugly sneer off your face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor."

Why do some of these things bother me?

Because it's some of the things that I need to deal with in my life.

Number two today: deal with your anger.

Andrea did a fabulous job, didn't she?

She did a fabulous job last week talking about this—just unbelievable!

But when you go on social media or you meet someone, and they're one of those people, it causes us to—our initial response is to get frustrated because of them.

And then sometimes, if we let that just be there, then we actually get angry!

What should have just been a frustration now becomes anger because we don't deal with it.

Ephesians 4:26: "Go ahead, be angry! You do well to be angry, but don't use your anger as fuel for revenge, and don't stay angry."

Andrea talked about that last week.

There's nothing wrong with anger, but it's when we allow that anger to begin ruling over us, and we show that towards other people.

We need to be angry about social injustice; we need to be angry about those things.

Number two: deal with your anger.

Number three: don't take the bait!

Right?

Don't take the bait!

Those people love to post something on social media about it's going to be a tough year politically.

People are already building walls and dividing where they are in the midst of that, and so they begin talking about politics.

They begin talking about the vaccine; they just begin arguing about everything!

Argue about the culture!

They say, "You know what? We need to boycott Starbucks! We need to boycott Chick-fil-A! We need to do this!"

And then they send you all those conspiracy theories, right?

And so you focus on that, and they're critical, judgmental, self-centered.

And the moment you take the bait, they post something on social media, and you say, "That's not right! That's not right! I'm going to set them straight!"

So as soon as you go on social media and you try to set somebody straight, guess what?

You got about 100 other people joining in the conversation, and before you know it, it's exploded beyond where you ever wanted to go with that!

I'm telling you, when people make stupid remarks on Instagram, unless they're your dear friend, you need to just say, "Well, they're just stupid," and just go on!

Don't try to fix everybody!

And as we move into this political year coming up, don't allow yourself to be divided!

The church should be a unification force, not a divided force!

Amen?

Let's just trust that and believe that!

Don't take the bait!

And number four: choose not to be offended!

I tell myself that being offended is inevitable, but living offended is a choice!

Say, "It's a choice!"

It's a choice!

Jesus said in Luke 17:1, "Offenses will come."

So He said they're going to come, so you need to deal with it!

You know, and so that person that affects you, you just go out of your way to not even be around them because you're just so frustrated, and you're carrying offense.

And if somebody said, "Are you offended by that person?"

Why is it?

Why do you not like that person?

And if we're not careful, it's because we're carrying an offense in our life.

Number five: watch your words!

This is one of the toughest things in relationships!

You know, even with a husband and wife, it starts off in a conversation, and then what does it do?

You begin raising your voice, and it goes a little bit farther, and then it escalates, and then before you know it, you're in a whole major disagreement!

In the midst of all of that, because we are not watching the words that come out of our mouth!

So let me just give you a few suggestions.

Here's the first one: no name-calling!

No name-calling!

No name-calling!

Look at this verse: Ephesians 4:29: "Do not say bad things that hurt or insult people.

Instead, say only good things that will help people.

Your words should help people to become strong when they hear them."

So when you're talking to your spouse, your kids, you got to ask yourself, "Are the words that I'm using giving them strength, or am I just trying to use my words to put them in their place?"

No name-calling!

There's no reason, no excuse to be dishonoring and call someone names!

And the second one: never raise your voice!

No one has ever been changed by somebody who's yelling!

They're changed by a loving voice!

And then never get historical!

No, I didn't mean hysterical; I meant historical!

Don't go back in time and say, "Yeah, here we go again! It's the same thing! I remember you said this before, and you didn't change!

And I remember back in 1852 before you were ever born, there's just a curse that came on your life, and it's there!

It's just always that way!"

Never say "never" or "always"!

You know that one?

"Well, you always do that!"

Or "You never open the door for me!"

Or "You never think about me!"

Or "You never!"

Don't use those words because they get you nowhere!

And the next one, especially if you're married or if you're married: don't threaten divorce!

That's good!

The word "divorce" should never come in your marriage or in your house!

Murder, maybe!

I wasn't serious there, but evidently, I hit a nerve, right?

And never quote your pastor during a fight!

I can hear it now!

When you get home this afternoon, something happens, you say, "But Pastor Terry said..."

Don't bring me into your conversation!

I know I give you some good points, but when it comes to a conflict, keep me out of that!

And number six: take the pressure off yourself!

This right here, what I'm going to say, is going to relieve some of you of your frustration because of manipulative family members.

It's not your responsibility to make other people happy!

Wow!

There we go!

Well, if I don't go, if I don't do that, then they're going to be upset!

And I don't want them to be upset!

You are never in charge of someone's happiness!

They have to make that choice!

The sooner you realize it's not up to me to help people to get to a happy place if they're not willing to deal with it themselves!

And number seven: we have to set some boundaries!

Set some boundaries!

You can be nice; you can be loving; you can be kind!

But somewhere along the line, you have to set a boundary!

You have to say things like this: "No, I can't come over right now!"

"No, I'm not going to let you dump all your problems on me and expect me to solve them!"

"I'm not going to feel guilty because I can't meet all your demands!"

And I'm not going to live down on myself because I don't perform to your standards!

Set boundaries!

You know what that means?

That may mean for a season that you stay away from certain people!

You have to set a boundary!

But you don't have to constantly be feeling guilty about where you are!

And of all of those, probably this last one is the most important: pray this prayer!

It's important to pray a really dangerous yet humbling prayer.

Would you read this out loud with me?

"Search me, O God, and know my heart.

Test me and know my anxious thoughts.

Point out anything in me that offends You and lead me along the path of everlasting life."

That's where we have to start!

God, help me to see myself as You see me!

Am I full of anger?

Am I a manipulator?

Am I always raising my voice?

Am I the one that's causing problems in this relationship?

If you're here today and you're a Christ follower, we just finished looking at the fruit of the Spirit.

The fruit of the Spirit is what we need!

That's why we started, first of all, with an internal inside makeover, and then we're coming to relationships.

And then the first Sunday of March, we're going to start another in this extreme; we're going to talk about all of us together and the unity that comes in being part of a church.

Those of you that are followers of Christ, I want to pray for relationships this week that God will help you to apply some of these principles.

Would you bow your head with me, and let's pray together?

Father, I pray for everyone that's here today, and I pray, Lord, that we start here and we ask You to search our heart, know us!

Because sometimes, Lord, You need to test our heart and show us who we really are!

And God, if we're constantly in conflict, show us why!

If we're constantly ticking people off and they don't want to be around us, show us why!

Because, Lord, we want to live with the fruit of the Spirit flowing in our life!

As you continue to pray today, maybe you're here today, and you've never invited Jesus into your heart and into your life.

Let me tell you today how much God loves you!

God loves you so much that He sent His Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for your sins and my sins!

Now, we say that sometimes—He died on the cross for my sins—but what does that mean?

That means that God took all of the sins of me and you, those people in the Old Testament that looked forward to the coming of the Messiah, and those after the Messiah that will look back and put their faith in Jesus.

God hates sin, and all that sin—your sin and mine—fell upon Jesus!

And God cannot look upon the sinfulness, and Jesus cries out, "My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?"

He felt the cost of your sin and my sin!

He died, but on the third day, He rose!

That's what separates us from every other religion!

Jesus lives today; He's not dead!

So if you're here today and you say, "Terry, I know I'm a sinner in need of a Savior!

I really want to invite Jesus into my life today!"

And the Holy Spirit is speaking to your heart.

You don't have to understand it all; you just have to be willing to take what He did on the cross and let it apply to your life!

Because if you don't take that, then you have to pay for your sins!

Are you sure you want to pay for your sins?

Are you sure you want to spend an eternity separated from God?

Or today, are you ready to say, "I trust Him, and I'm going to transfer the control of my life to Jesus because I need something that's beyond me!"

If that's you today, would you raise your hand and make eye contact with me and say, "Yeah, that's me! I want to do that today! I want to pray that prayer!"

Thank you!

Others today say, "Yep, that's me! That's me! I need to do that!"

Thank you!

Others today, yes, Lord!

And those of you that are watching online, just raise your hand right where you are and say, "Yeah, that's me! I need to invite Jesus into my heart and into my life!"

Let's pray this prayer together, would you?

Father God, thank You for loving me!

Thank You for sending Your Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for my sins!

I'm a sinner, and I need a Savior!

As best as I know how, I want to serve You all the days of my life!

Fill me with Your Spirit!

In Jesus' name, Amen!

Church, would you celebrate with me today those who prayed that prayer?

That's the greatest decision you'll ever make!

Now you follow Him into water baptism!

You can go online, sign up for that!

You can use your connection card and sign up for that also!

A first step table over here and over here, we've got a book and some materials to give you to help you on your journey because it's going to be wonderful!

And we get to do one of the most exciting things I love, and that's to worship in our giving!

Thank you for your giving!

You know, we're right in the middle of our Leva Legacy campaign, believing God for $200,000 for missions and for a couple of adjustments that need to happen here at the church building!

So today, I want to pray that God would bless you as you give and bless you as you're prayerfully asking Him, "What will You have me to give?"

Father, I thank You today!

Bless every giver today!

In Your name, Jesus!

In Your name!

God bless you as they pass the buckets!

Drop in your connection card, your change, your tithe, your offering!

It's going to be a wonderful day today in the Lord!

Don't miss next week; it's going to be unbelievable!

Pastor Kevin will be with us; he's always got a powerful teaching!

Looking forward to that!

It'll be awesome!

Well, let's worship some more in this song, and after the buckets pass, you can stand and worship with us today!

Bless God in the sanctuary!

Bless God in the fields of plenty!

Bless God in the darkest valley!

Every chance I get, I'll bless Your name!

Bless God when my hands are empty!

Bless God with the praise that costs me!

Bless God when nobody's watching!

Every chance I get, I'll bless Your name!

Bless God when no weapons forming!

Bless God when no walls are falling!

Bless God 'cause He goes before me!

Every chance I get, I'll bless Your name!

Bless God for He holds the victory!

Bless God for He's always with me!

Bless God for He's always worthy!

Every chance I get, I'll bless Your name!

Every chance I can, I place on every chance I get!

Come on and praise the Lord with me!

Sing if you love His name!

Come on and lift your voice with me; He's worthy of all our praise!

Yes, He is worthy of all our praise!

Thank You, Jesus!

We bless Your holy name!