Transformative Self-Control Through Faith and Community

### Bible Study Discussion Guide

#### Bible Reading
1. **Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV)**
> "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."

2. **Romans 6:14 (NIV)**
> "For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace."

3. **Ephesians 3:16-19 (NIV)**
> "I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

#### Observation Questions
1. What are the nine aspects of the fruit of the Spirit listed in Galatians 5:22-23?
2. According to Romans 6:14, why is sin no longer our master?
3. In Ephesians 3:16-19, what does Paul pray for believers to experience in their inner being?

#### Interpretation Questions
1. How does understanding that sin is no longer our master (Romans 6:14) change our approach to self-control? [57:13]
2. What does it mean to be "rooted and established in love" as described in Ephesians 3:16-19, and how does this foundation help in developing self-control? [01:01:34]
3. How does the concept of self-control as a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) differ from the idea of self-control as sheer willpower? [42:11]

#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a time when you tried to overcome a struggle through sheer willpower. How did that compare to relying on the Holy Spirit for strength? [48:22]
2. Identify a specific area in your life where you struggle with self-control. What steps can you take to dig below the surface and address the root causes of this struggle? [56:49]
3. How can you invite others into your journey of developing self-control? Consider joining or forming a support group like Celebrate Recovery. [01:03:34]
4. What does surrendering control to God look like in your daily life? Share a specific instance where you need to let go and trust in God's grace and power. [01:07:04]
5. Think of a personal testimony or a scriptural reference that has inspired you in your journey of faith. How can you use this to encourage someone else struggling with self-control? [01:12:31]
6. How can you cultivate a deeper understanding of God's love to strengthen your inner being and develop self-control? What practical steps can you take this week to grow in this area? [01:01:34]
7. Reflect on the importance of community in your spiritual growth. How can you be more intentional about building and participating in a supportive faith community? [01:03:08]

Day 1: Embracing Spiritual Transformation
True self-control is not about enforcing personal discipline but about a transformation that occurs through the Holy Spirit. This inner change is a result of one's faith and is reflected in the way self-control naturally emerges as a part of a believer's life. It is a holistic change, where self-control is just one aspect of the fruit of the Spirit that becomes evident in a person's character. As believers grow in their relationship with Christ, they should expect to see a shift from relying on their own willpower to leaning on the strength provided by the Spirit.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." - Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV)

Reflection: How have you experienced the fruit of the Spirit in your life, and in what ways can you cultivate a deeper reliance on the Holy Spirit for self-control?

Day 2: Unearthing the Roots of Struggle
The journey to self-control involves delving into the deeper issues that fuel our struggles, such as addiction or anger. It's not sufficient to merely address the symptoms; one must be willing to explore the underlying causes of their behavior. This process requires humility and honesty, as well as the recognition that overcoming these challenges cannot be done in isolation. It is through God's love and the support of a faith community that true understanding and healing can begin.

"Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." - Psalm 139:23-24 (NIV)

Reflection: What underlying issues might be contributing to a lack of self-control in your life, and how can you take steps to address them with God's guidance?

Day 3: The Strength of Community
Self-control is bolstered by the support and accountability found within a community of believers. Sharing one's vulnerabilities and struggles with others is not a sign of weakness but a step towards strength and healing. Support groups and life groups provide a space where individuals can be honest about their challenges and receive the encouragement and assistance they need to overcome them.

"Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." - Galatians 6:2 (NIV)

Reflection: How can you actively seek or offer support within your community to foster self-control and spiritual growth?

Day 4: The Paradox of Surrender
Gaining self-control requires the paradoxical act of surrendering control to God. This means acknowledging our limitations and trusting in God's grace and power rather than our own efforts. Letting go of self-sufficiency and embracing God's sufficiency leads to true freedom and the ability to live a life controlled by the Spirit.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

Reflection: What is one area of your life where you find yourself holding back from surrendering to Jesus? What would surrendering this area to Him actually look like in terms of daily habits?

Day 5: The Promise of New Life
The gospel message is one of hope and new beginnings. Accepting Jesus into one's life is central to the transformation process, offering freedom from past sins and failures. Christ's sacrifice provides a new identity and purpose, and it is through this relationship that individuals can experience the fullness of life and the self-control that comes with being a new creation in Christ.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" - 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)

Reflection: Reflect on your current understanding of salvation. How does accepting Jesus' sacrifice and embracing your new identity in Him change the way you approach self-control and personal transformation?

Oh, good morning, Father's House! You ready to get your praise on today? How many of you know that God is a good God? Woo! He's an awesome God. He has a plan and a purpose for each and every one of you. We're going to celebrate today!

Come on! I was buried beneath my shame. Who could carry that kind of weight? It was my tomb 'til I met You. I was breathing but not alive. All my failures I tried to hide. It was my tomb 'til I met You.

Come on, let's sing it out! You called my name, and I ran out of that grave. Come on! Out of the darkness into Your glorious day. You called my name, and I ran out of that grave. Out of the darkness into Your glorious day.

Together, mercy has saved my soul. Now my sin is all that I know. The old made new. Yeah, Jesus, when I met You, it was a brand new day. You called my name, and I ran out of that grave. Out of the darkness into Your glorious day.

Oh, I love the darkness and Your glorious day. Come on, He's a wonderful God! Yeah! How many of you know that all things are possible with Jesus? Yes!

Come on! I needed a rescue. My sin was heavy, but chains break at the weight of Your glory. I needed a shelter. I was an orphan. Now You call me a citizen of heaven. When I was broken, You were my healing. Now Your love is the air that I'm breathing. I have a future. My eyes are open 'cause when You called my name, I shouted out of the darkness into Your glorious day.

Yeah! You called my name, and I ran out of that grave. Out of the darkness into Your glorious day.

It's a new day! It's a new day! We worship You! Thank You, Jesus! Oh, today He's calling your name! Hallelujah! I love that! It's a brand new day! It's a brand new day!

Father, we worship You here this morning. We lift Your name on high this morning. We magnify You. We adore You here today, and we say, "Jesus, You are number one!" We're here for You. It's all about You, Jesus.

Who can roll the stone from every grave? Only Jesus! Only You! Who has called me out and knows my name? Only Jesus! Only You! Who is like You? None beside You! My God, You're worthy! I will sing of it all my days. King forever, my Defender! My God, You're worthy! I will sing of it all my days.

Yeah! Who will go before me in the night? Only Jesus! Only You! And who will bring the victory in the fight? Only Jesus! Only You! Who is my hope? None beside You! My God, You're worthy! I will sing of it all my days. King forever, my God, You're worthy! I will sing of it all my days.

I will sing of You, Jesus! I will speak of You, Jesus! Just give me Jesus! It's all I want! It's all I want! Just give me Jesus! Just give me Jesus! It's all I want! It's all I want! Just give me Jesus!

Oh, just give me Jesus! It's all I want! It's all I want! Just give me Jesus! Just give me Jesus! It's all I want! It's all I want! Just give me Jesus!

Who will keep the promises He spoke? Only Jesus! Only You! And who is coming back to bring me home? Only Jesus! Only You!

Wow! Do you believe that today? Would you give the Lord praise? Amen! Amen! Amen!

You may be seated for just a moment. This is the 21st day of our fast, and we're going to break that fast today. However you break it—some of you will break it this morning, some of you this afternoon, or it's sundown tomorrow. I don't know when, but we're going to consecrate this time today.

So, if you don't have the elements for communion, if you raise your hand, the ushers will be happy to assist you. Those of you that are watching online, we're so, so glad you joined us today. You have a lot of choices, but you joined us, so I pray that you grab a cracker, some water, and something that would remind you and symbolize this time of the fast.

I was praying about the fast, and I was saying, I don't know about you, but this fast has been different than anything else I've ever been on. I really feel like it wasn't an accident. I don't feel like it was just something in the program. I feel like it was God-directed and Spirit-led for us to do these 21 days.

However you did it—if you did it with the Daniel Fast, if you did it with just a few days, however you worked that in your schedule—but you participated. Now you know that.

So, I was thinking, what was accomplished in this fast? And then I remembered the words that God gave Isaiah the prophet. Listen to this: "Is this not the fast which I choose?" That would be God saying, "I chose this." You just thought it was scheduled, but He said, "I chose this for your life, and I'm going to undo the bonds of wickedness—the things that have kept pulling you apart."

You said, "I don't want to do that. I don't want to be that person." He said, "I'm going to undo those bonds. They can't pull you anymore."

And tear to pieces the ropes of the yoke—whatever's been like a heavy yoke around your neck. He said, "I'm going to break that, take that away, and I'm going to let the oppressed go free and set every enslaving yoke off of your life."

Wow! Thank You, God!

Well, as we get ready to do this today, first of all, we remember what we're remembering, right? We don't ever want communion to be a ritual, but we want to remember why we're doing this. In fact, Jesus said, "I want you to do this until I come in the clouds to get you."

So, it's one of the things that every time we do it—whether it's here or in your life group, maybe in your home—that you could lead that, and you conscientiously think about what Jesus did for us.

And on that night, He took the bread, and He blessed it. He lifted it up, and He broke it, and He said, "Take and eat. This represents my body, which is broken for you."

Now listen, as we partake of this meal, I really believe this is the meal that heals. I've heard so many stories of people who recognize because stripes are put on His back, "I'm healed." So when we eat of this today, we're remembering that healing that comes and the strength that we need from Him.

Remember Jesus? Then He took the fruit of the vine. "This is my blood. This represents my blood that will be shed for you to purchase a new covenant. It's not trying harder, but it's trusting more." That's what He's saying. It's a done deal. He said, "It is finished."

Remember Jesus. Thank You, Lord!

I'd like for us to seal this today with, on your notes, if you'll take out your notes and turn on the back page. I just wrote some words for us to come in agreement with this morning.

So take out your notes and turn on the back page, and then what I'd like for you to do is I'd like you to take these words and put them in your journal. Tape this somewhere where you can see it every day. Confess this every day over your life for this 2024.

So would you read it with me?

"2024 is my year of destiny, alignment, and great possibilities. This year in 2024, I walk by faith and not by sight. I initiate new things in my life as Holy Spirit positions me for open doors."

Let's stop right there. I feel like today the Lord is saying that's exactly what He's going to do for somebody. He's going to position you. You've tried to make things happen, but He's going to position you for open doors.

Let's continue: "Divine favor, optimal protection, abundant supply, supernatural health, and prosperity. I step out of my comfort zone, out of confinements, out of fear and doubts as I journey with the Lord. I align my faith with God's power, and I submit my will to the leading of Holy Spirit."

Let's pause. Let's look at that again. Let's go back to that. Look at that: "I align my faith with God's power." What have you been believing for, and you've been trying to make it happen? No! In 2024, I'm going to take and I'm going to align my faith with God's power, submit to His will and the leading of the Holy Spirit.

Let's go on: "This year I refuse to look at things which are seen, for the things that are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal."

Holy Spirit goes before me to break down opposition, obstacles, and confinements, allowing me to pass through and overcome every blockage. This year, Holy Spirit is out in front, leading me to bring hope and impact my community by leading people into a growing relationship with Jesus.

In 2024 is my year of destiny!

Let's say it again: "2024 is my year of destiny, alignment, and great possibilities!" Hallelujah!

Well, if you believe that, give the Lord a hand clap! Amen!

We've had so many stories of miracles this week, and maybe you're still believing. At the end of the day, when we worship the Lord with our tithing and giving, I'm going to share with you an unbelievable medical miracle that happened—documented! So, so awesome!

But here's what we're going to do right now. Our prayer team is going to come down front, and we're going to just pause right now to just pray for whatever need that you have.

So the prayer team will come on down front. The ushers will be at the end of the aisle, and if you have a need, you can just stand up, walk to the aisle, and an usher will direct you to somebody, and we'll pray with you and for you.

If you don't have a need and you're not coming today for prayer, just stretch out your hand today for people who come. Let's come believing, expecting today for your miracle!

That's okay! Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine! He's been my fourth man in the fire time after time. Born of His Spirit and washed in His blood, and what He did for me on Calvary is more than enough!

I trust in God, my Savior, the one who will never fail. He will never fail! I trust in God, my Savior, the one who will never fail. He will never fail!

Perfect submission, all is at rest, 'cause I know the author of tomorrow. His name is Jesus!

This is my story, and this is my song. I'm praising my risen King and Savior all the day long!

I trust in God, my Savior, the one who will never fail. He will never fail! I trust in God, my Savior, the one who will never fail. He will never fail!

Oh, He'll never fail! He's never failed, and He won't start now! You can trust Him!

I sought the Lord, and He heard, and He answered! I sought the Lord, and He heard, and He answered! I sought the Lord, and He heard, and He answered! That's why I trust Him! That's why I trust Him!

I sought the Lord, and He heard, and He answered! I sought the Lord, and He heard, and He answered! I sought the Lord, and He heard, and He answered! That's why I trust Him! That's why I trust Him!

I sought the Lord, and He heard, and He answered! I sought the Lord, and He heard, and He answered! I sought the Lord, and He heard, and He answered! That's why I trust Him! That's why I trust Him!

I trust in God, my Savior, the one who will never fail. He will never fail!

Church, He will never fail you! I believe that there are some people here today that have been trusting in things other than the Lord, and you don't understand why things are happening a certain way.

I believe that the Lord would say to you, "Let all of that stuff go and trust in Me." Not me, Him! Because He can be trusted! He is faithful! He's good! He's kind! He's gentle! He's patient! He's also sovereign and just! He can never step outside of His character, so He can be trusted!

He is not a man that He should lie! He is a faithful God!

So my encouragement for you today is to get your eyes off of the stuff and place them on Him, because you can have courage, you can have strength, you can have peace right smack dab in the middle of the storm!

But it's going to take you putting your eyes on Him and not on the storm!

'Cause we trust in God, our Savior, the one who will never fail! He will never fail!

We trust in God, our Savior, the one who will never fail! He will never fail!

Father, we do trust in You. We thank You that You are who You say You are, and we trust in You, God, not because of what You do for us, but because of who You are—that You're faithful!

And we can put all of our eggs in one basket, as long as that one basket is You!

Father, I thank You for strengthening our faith, for strengthening our trust in You, because I believe that You have shown us even a greater glimpse of who You are today.

Father, we submit right now that we will listen attentively to Your word, because we know that Your word is life to us.

And we know that in order to be sustained in this life, that we need to look to You. We need to hang on every word that You say.

Father God, You speak through Your word, so Father, speak to us today as we listen to the teaching of Your word. May it go deep down into each one of our hearts, into good soil.

May it be rooted in good soil today that it would bring much fruit and much growth and much harvest, that we may live out the plan and the purpose and the destiny that You have for each and every one of us.

And we pray all of that in the precious name of Jesus Christ, and all of God's people said in this room, "Amen! Amen!"

Well, before you sit down today, why don't you turn around to a few of your neighbors and welcome them to the Father's House today? Tell them you're so glad that they came! Maybe tell them you're glad that they chose a seat next to you!

Good morning! My name is Simone, and I'm one of the pastors here at the Father's House, and this is my sweet friend Serenity.

Hi! So welcome! Let's welcome the online church! So let's give them a round of applause for watching!

If you are new with us to the Father's House, go ahead and grab one of these connection cards from the seat back in front of you. And if you were in the front row, just lean back and speak to the people behind you and have them just give you one.

Fill it out as much as you feel comfortable, because at the end of service, we'd love for you to take it to the "New Here? Start Here" table in the front foyer, because we have a special gift just for you!

Yes! And every week, we want to remind ourselves what our mission is here at TFH, so let's say this all together: "We are bringing hope, impacting our community by leading people into a growing relationship with Jesus."

Awesome! So one of the ways that we impact our community is through our giving, and you guys are so awesome! This church is so awesome at the way we give!

And there are four ways that you can do that here today, and we're going to do that at the end of service.

Yes! And we also do something around here called "Change for Change," and this month it goes towards benevolence.

Wonderful! So there's a lot going on here at the Father's House—a whole lot! And we can't stand here and tell you everything, so one of the best ways for you to do this is to go to thefathershouse.com, but you can also scan that QR code.

Guess what? Guess what?

What?

We have something coming up!

What's coming up?

Super Bowl Sunday!

Ooh! You know what we get to do?

You know they can hear us with...

Yeah, I know!

Okay! We get to wear your own jersey—whichever jersey you like! And support any team, and there's no judgment!

She's so cute! I love it!

And so if, let's say, you wear a jersey and you don't know someone, and they're wearing the same jersey as you, you get to connect with them and make a new friend!

That's a nice way to connect!

Wonderful! Yes! And it's February 11th!

February 11th! Wear your jersey!

You know what you're going to wear?

I don't! I don't even know who's playing!

I don't watch football like that!

But me either! But we'll wear a jersey and act cool!

Pray with us, guys!

We thank You so much, Heavenly Father, for today. Thank You, dear God, that we get to be here with our friends, our brothers and sisters, and just worship You and hear Your word.

Continue to be in this place. Continue to flow through hearts in this place, dear God. We just love You. We honor You. We glorify You.

Prepare our minds, Lord, for the sermon today, for the word today, and let it touch deeply in each and every person in this place. Let this be so impactful and so life-changing!

In Jesus' name, amen!

Amen! Awesome! Well, it's great to see you today! You look good! If I haven't told you lately, I want you to know that I love you!

I consider it a real honor to be on this journey with you, and it's just so good!

Here we are at the end of a 21-day fast! Wouldn't that be a good experience? Really! I mean, for whatever level that you participated in, it was a great time!

And so today, we're going to conclude this series on "Extreme Makeover: Inside Edition," but next month we have season two, and you'll have to stay tuned for "Extreme Makeover," and then we'll fill in the blank!

All right! Hey, if you have your Bible with you, your iPhone, your iPad, whatever you use, let's hold it up today and let's say this together:

"This is my Bible. It is the word of God. It is life to me today. I receive the word. I confess my mind is alert, my heart is receptive. I am obedient in Jesus' name. Amen!"

Father, we come to You this morning, and we just thank You for Your presence. It was so awesome!

And we look into this word right now, and we pray that Your word would anoint our ears to hear from Holy Spirit what You would say.

And God, help me today, Holy Spirit! Anoint me! Let me say what You want me to say. Don't let me say anything I shouldn't say.

And at the end of today, God, may You be glorified, may the saints be edified, and may the devil be terrified! Amen!

So in a class, a teacher asked her students, "What was one good thing that you did today?"

The first kid said, "I helped a homeless man."

The second kid said, "I helped my mom with chores."

The third kid raised his hand, and by now the teacher is really impressed and has high hopes. And she said to him, "What did you do today?"

And he said, "I prevented a murder!"

She was intrigued. "What do you mean you prevented a murder? How did you do that?"

He said, "Self-control!"

Anybody felt like that this week as you were going through the fast? You get the little jitters or whatever, and something just really gets to you, and you just... what? You know, you just thank God for self-control!

So there's no murder in this thing!

So today, we're finishing up a four-part series, which I personally have really enjoyed myself.

And the first week, I gave you an overview of what we call the fruit of the Spirit—not fruits of the Spirit. There is one fruit of the Spirit, a gift, and it has different manifestations.

The second week, you all voted on which of these three of the fruit of the Spirit characteristics do you need most in your life.

And so you voted, and the third one that came in was peace, so I talked about that.

The first week, the number two getting votes was patience, and number three—you can know what it is today—what? Self-control!

Now, in this series, we've been talking about how people go to extremes with external makeovers, you know, so that they're more beautiful, so they have greater strength, so they're more popular, and they feel like that's going to bring satisfaction.

And we said it's not in the external things we do. If we focus all the things on the external, we're going the wrong direction.

So somebody sent me a picture this week, and I'm going to show it to you in just a minute of what happens when somebody today takes extreme makeovers and what they're going to look like when they become a grandma.

Look at... oh, let's take that down! I think we've had all of that in our mind that we can... we want to work on the inside, right?

I mean, if you have a little touch-up, okay, but don't let that be the reason why you feel really good about yourself!

Hey, look at our theme verse today, and it's in Galatians chapter 5, beginning at verse 22.

"But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives..." Can you read it with me?

"But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, He will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control."

Say self-control!

Self-control! Let's say it again: self-control!

Yeah! The Holy Spirit is going to do some deep surgery today in many of our lives!

Self-control! It's the fruit—not fruits! The word there is the word "karpos," which means the harvest of the Spirit.

So really what it's saying is the fruit of the Spirit is the outward expression of Christ dwelling within.

So these should all be natural expressions that we have in our life.

The words "self-control" is an interesting word to look at. It's the word "egkrateia," and it is also translated "temperance."

So if you look at it, it's holding oneself in.

Anybody worked this week at holding something in that you wanted to come out?

Yeah! Three or four hands! Let's be honest!

How many of you were trying to hold something in, but it got the best of you, and it came out this week?

Yeah! This is... I love this church! I love this! I feel right at home! Right? No judgment zone, as she said just a few minutes ago!

Holding oneself in—inner strength, temperance, restraining passions and appetites.

Tom Landry, who I believe was the greatest football coach who ever lived, said this: "The job of a football coach is to make men do what they don't want to do in order to achieve what they've always wanted to be."

Wow! Isn't that what the Holy Spirit, with the fruit, is doing in our life?

He is making us take a look at those and making us react to what's on the inside of us so that we can be what we've always wanted to be.

Now, as we finish out in this teaching today, I wanted to put it in context. When we talk about the fruit of the Spirit and walk in the Spirit, I want to put it in context in this particular passage.

And I want to show the difference between living according to your flesh—the fleshly life—and living according to the Spirit.

So look with me, if you will, in your Bibles to Galatians chapter 5, beginning at verse 19.

"So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won't be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your own good intentions.

But when you are directed by the Spirit, you're not under the obligation of the law of Moses."

Now he goes on and says, "Let me share some of these with you. When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these."

In other words, he's saying, "I could write five more pages of sins of the flesh."

But he said, "Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living this sort of life will not inherit the kingdom of God."

Now let me give it to you in the paraphrase of The Message Bible:

"It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming yet never satisfying wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or to be loved; divided homes, divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a number; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community."

And I could go on and on and on and on!

He says, "That's me, and that's you!"

Look at your neighbor and say, "That's me!"

Just in case you want to know, "That's me! That's me! That's exactly where I am!"

But then Paul goes on, and he says in our theme verse, verse 22, I want to keep this in context with you in our theme verse.

He says, "But when..." You see, butts in the Bible—those butts are big butts!

All right? So what he's saying is this is a litany of all the things that happen if you walk after the flesh.

If you're always in arguments, if you're always causing division, if you always have those outbursts of anger, lopsided desires, and never-ending desires, he said, "I know you get to that place, and you feel like, 'Well, I'm just going to throw up my hands and give up.'"

But then Paul says, "But wait! Time out! But you are different!"

Look at this! He says, "But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives..." Would you underline that?

I have that circled in my Bible, actually. "When the Holy Spirit controls our lives..."

Under that! He will produce—in other words, I don't have to do this! I don't have to do better! I don't have to make it better!

He will produce this kind of fruit—remember, manifestations of the indwelling of Christ.

Let's read it again: "Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control."

So we need to talk about self-control today because that's the one you voted as the most needed in your life.

I tell you, I've never seen such a lack of self-control in people in all of my life!

Well, join the club, because that was my number one that I said I need more than anything else!

In fact, those three actually were my top also!

Proverbs 25:28 says, "A person without self-control is as defenseless as a city with broken-down walls."

In the Old Testament, before they built the city, they built the walls. You'd build walls all around, and then you'd build the city.

So what's the purpose of walls? Protection!

Say it: Protection!

So in this, he's saying a person that has no self-control—a person, for in the New Testament, we look at a person who walks after the flesh—is defenseless!

I mean, some of you have said things like this: "Why on earth did I say that?"

"Why on earth did I drink that?"

And then sometimes you get in this retaliatory mentality. Somebody says something, and it's argumentative, and instead of you listening to them and trying to think about how can I bring peace, you are pausing so that you can come up with something better that will put them in their place!

Because after all, who are they to come to you that way?

And then after it happens, a day or so later, we say, "Why did we do that? Why did we get to that place?"

I read the story of a lady who said to Winston Churchill, one of the greatest leaders of all time, "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your tea."

To which he responded, "Madam, if you were my wife, I'd drink it!"

That comeback, right? You know what I'm talking about! Just come back with something even better!

So in your notes, we say that first of all, we need to recognize there's a problem.

Recognize the problem! Say "problem!"

Look at your neighbor and say, "You got a problem!"

I got a problem!

And here's the issue with that problem: We know it's there, but yet then we deny it!

Denial! That's not a river in Egypt!

Denial! You've heard the words: "I can handle it!"

"If I really wanted to stop, I would stop!"

"My issue is not as bad as Michael's!"

You see, denial keeps you on the surface, right?

Sometimes we don't want to admit it because we don't want somebody to feel sorry or feel bad for us, or we just hide it.

We hide it!

Now, "Oh, I don't have a problem with pornography! I'm just looking around, and of course things come up! I went intensely to six sites before I found what should come up!"

But I don't have an issue!

Here's my question: If you can stop, why haven't you?

How bad does it have to get before you say, "That's it! I've got a problem!"

Will it come to divorce? Drinking and drugging?

Will it take you to the place that you lose absolutely everything that you hope for?

Is it going to take hospitalization? Are you going to kill somebody?

See, you get high and get behind the wheel and start driving. You may never want to kill somebody, but boom! There's that wreck!

What was it? What caused it? It was that problem that you kept denying as though it really wasn't there!

"It's just who I am, so I drink! Quit judging me! I don't hurt anybody!"

That sounds like powerful words, but it's gibberish because it just forces somebody to reject responsibility and ignore their inner world.

Don't reject the responsibility that you have for change and let your inner world be destroyed!

You can come to church, and as soon as you pull in the parking lot, you put on your happy Jesus face! Everything is wonderful!

But you know you've been living a life all week long that you want to keep it in secret because you wouldn't want anybody to know!

So what do we do?

Well, we try to fix the problem ourselves!

So how do we fix the problem?

Well, if you have an issue with credit cards and debt, you have more debt than you have money to be able to pay that, and you hear somebody say, "Well, I cut up my credit cards!"

So you cut up your credit cards!

But is that going to the bottom? Is that going to the underlines of the problem?

No! Because why? Six months later, you get another credit card, and you get deeper in debt than you were before!

It's just that you can't fix it on the outside!

How about pornography?

There are over 4 million websites, and almost any time you start to Google something, it'll take you to a possibility of something that really is a place that you don't want to go!

And it's killing our men and our boys!

But not just that! 30% of website pornographic users are women today!

Or maybe they're men who use women's names! I don't know!

But we try to fix it!

So what I'm going to do is I'm going to get a filter on my computer!

That filter will be there!

Now, I'm not tech-savvy enough! I have a filter on my computer! I'm not savvy enough to know how to get around that!

But I know some of you are!

You have a filter, but you know how to go around that!

You see, you fix a surface, but you still have the issue!

So you say, "Well, I'm not going to buy any more alcohol! I'm not going to have it in my house! It's not going to be there! If it's not there, I won't look at it!"

Which is probably a good thing!

But you get out with somebody else, and it's the same thing, and you fall back in the same rut!

Why? Because you're trying to fix the problem on the surface!

Or maybe it's break your credit cards, whatever you do!

But we need to recognize there's a better plan than just doing it by ourselves!

A man and woman were constantly in arguments, but all of a sudden, she began to not react to his explosive vomiting anger all over her.

And so the man said, "I don't know what's happened to you, but you remained so calm, and you don't react to me in the words that I say! How do you... I just got to know! How are you maintaining self-control?"

She said, "Well, I just go clean the toilet!"

"Clean the toilet? What do you mean, clean the toilet? How's that do it?"

She said, "I use your toothbrush!"

"I need to... I can't find my toothbrush! I've got it hidden away!"

So here's the plan:

Number one, I've got to go below the surface!

I must go below the surface!

In other words, I've got to get my spiritual shovel out, and I've got to start digging!

So let me give you some digging spots.

First of all, let me teach you a phrase today. Would you say this with me?

"I am not a slave!"

Say it again: "I am not a slave!"

That's a theological truth! If you are a Christ follower, you are not a slave!

You're not a slave to that sight! You're not a slave to the bottle! You're not a slave to the drugs! You're not a slave to the anger! You're not a slave to constantly overeating!

You're not a slave!

I love this verse: Romans 6:14—"Sin is no longer your master!"

Say it with me: "Sin is no longer your master!"

"For you're no longer subject to the law, these externals that I've got to do better, which enslaves you to sin. Instead, look at this: You are free by God's grace!"

You are free by God's grace!

There are some of you that are sitting here today or watching online, and thank you for joining us, and you think you're hearing all this, and you say, "Yeah, but Terry, you don't know how many circles I've gone around! You don't know how many times I've started and I've stopped! You don't know how many times that I had good intentions that I won't let this thing be my go-to when I'm under pressure! I won't do that! But I keep failing and failing and failing!"

Could I suggest to you you've been doing it because you've been working on the surface?

But if we'll get this theological truth in our mind: "I am not a slave to this bottle! I'm not a slave to this fork! I'm not a slave to this anger anymore!"

Why? Not because of my works, but because of God's grace—giving me what I don't deserve!

"Terry, I don't deserve for God to pick me up! Man, I'm just in this vicious cycle! I don't deserve that! I don't even deserve my spouse to forgive me for how I spewed all over them! I'm not..."

Of course you're not worthy!

But it's because of God's grace—giving us what we don't deserve!

How many of you, by raising your hand, say, "I'm sure walking in God's grace today, and I'm thanking Him for it!"

Man, my hands up!

I believe that you know the cycle! The temptation comes, and then you give in because you always give in to that temptation.

And when you give in, then you begin feeling failure! You know what I mean?

"I can't believe I did that! I'm a mess! I fail God!"

You feel the shame!

"I'll never get over this!"

So listen, before you go into that cycle, use this phrase: "I am not a slave!"

Maybe you print that up and you put it on your computer or your mouse: "I'm not a slave to these sites that I've been going to!"

Maybe you put that on your wallet where all your credit cards: "I'm not a slave to overspending!"

Maybe you put that on your kitchen stove: "I'm not a slave to eating wrong things!"

Now that you spent 21 days of eating healthy, let's don't go back to living on garbage!

Can I get an amen?

That was weak!

I know some of you have already heard! First thing you do is go and buy Dunkin' donuts and get coffee and a donut, right?

Kim!

All right! But only one!

She's not doing a dozen!

"I'm not a slave!"

And then ask deep questions!

If the issue, the problem, is below the surface, and I've been pushing it down through denial and denial and denial, ask the question deep!

Ask it!

Holy Spirit, help me to understand!

Yes! What's so broken inside of me?

What's so missing inside of me that I pursue these uppers and downers?

That I pursue this sight?

That I pursue overeating and a dozen donuts from Krispy Kreme or wherever?

Then I feel guilty!

Why am I playing these games?

Why am I pretending to be this, and on the inside, that's a deep question!

Few people in life will ever ask Holy Spirit that question to get deep enough!

Why do I react that way?

Why do I go to that?

Why is that I go to...

Oh, these verses today have just been so good!

Look at this one: "I pray that from His glorious unlimited resources, He will give you mighty inner strength through His Holy Spirit. I pray that He'll give you mighty strength through His Spirit. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God's marvelous love, and you'll have the power to understand how wide, how long, how high, how deep His love really is. May you experience the love of Christ! Then you will be filled with the fullness of life and power that comes from God!"

Notice He doesn't say, "Grab a hold of yourself! Do better! Come on and fill in the blanks that you call yourself over and over and over!"

He said, "No! I want you to experience the love of Jesus! If you'll experience the love of Jesus and you'll understand the fullness of how deep, how wide, how long it is, then you're going to receive power that comes from God!"

So number one, I must go below the surface.

Number two, I need to gather friends to help me!

You see, the scripture says God puts the solitary or the lonely in a family.

One of our cultures around here, one of our values, is that we do life together!

We do life together!

Nobody should ever feel like you're a lone ranger, that you got to handle something by yourself!

And so, but you have to invite people along for the journey!

I'm going to tell you, if you have hurts, habits, and hang-ups, I'm telling you the place that you need to be this week—Monday night—you need to be here for Celebrate Recovery!

Celebrate Recovery on Monday nights, 6:15 every Monday!

Wherever it is, if it falls on Christmas or New Year's Day, every week!

Why? Because it's a group of people just like you that invited other people along the journey because they have something inside of them that maybe they can't handle by themselves!

Fools! Proverbs 12:5 says, "They don't need advice, but the wise listen to others!"

I listen to others when my counselors, my advisors, my confidants say to me, "You know, maybe you should take another look at this! Maybe you need to deal with how you're working with that!"

I can... who you?

They don't tell me!

I go, "Okay, yeah! If that's really an issue, I'm going to deal with that! I'm going to take wise counsel!"

Why do you need to be in Celebrate Recovery?

Why do you need to be in life groups?

In life groups, I love in life groups, we sit down with our... in our life group, especially with a group of men, because men sometimes it's tougher for men to open up.

The first things you'll hear is this: "We don't take anything beyond this meeting! Whatever you say stays here! We don't take it to anybody else! It stays here!"

We need that place!

We need that place to take off our wig and expose our bumpy head that we've been trying to cover!

I look at... I see a bunch of domes out there, so forgive me for using that illustration!

Do you know what I mean?

Take off our masks!

That's better! Thank you!

Life groups! Join a life group!

Listen, when you join a life group, some of you have never joined, but you'll see the brochure come out pretty quick!

You're not signing up for life!

It's not like the old class! You sign up, and you're going to be stuck with these people for the rest of your life!

Look, can I be honest?

I've been in life groups!

I'm counting down the days till it gets over because I don't want to hang out with these people!

Ain't that terrible for me to say?

But it wasn't here! It was someplace else!

You need people!

Don't try to fight what you're fighting by yourself!

I admire those of you who walked the aisle a couple of minutes ago to maybe a complete stranger that you don't know, and they said, "What do you need?"

And you tell them something maybe you wouldn't want anybody else to know!

You wouldn't want to stand up here in front of the church and say that!

But saying it to somebody that you know that has your heart!

Number three: Number one, you've got to go below the surface.

Number two, gather friends to help.

Number three, you've got to give it all up!

You say, "Terry, that doesn't make sense! You're telling me if I want self-control that I have to give it all up? That doesn't make sense! I've got to control it! If I'm going to have self-control!"

Now, you've got to remember the principles of the New Testament of Jesus are upside down!

I mean, think about this: To really live, I must what? Die!

Die to self!

To win, I must what? Lose!

To be great, I must be willing to serve!

To be first, I must be willing to be last!

And to get self-control, I have to give up control!

Say, "God, I can't do this by myself!"

Telling somebody else, "I can't handle this! I need Your help!"

Look at this! It's not in your notes, but it's really good!

God wants to control it, but He wants you to live it!

Look at this paraphrase I came up with: Galatians 2:19-20—"For when I tried to keep the law, when I tried to do... make myself quit, make myself do better because I didn't want to disapprove God, but look! I realized I could never earn God's approval! So I died to the law of the must-keep so that I could live for God! I have been crucified with Christ! I myself no longer live, but Christ lives in me! How would Christ react in this situation?"

So I live my life in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God!

Read the last phrase with me: "Who loved me and gave Himself for me!"

Jesus said, "I knew your struggle, so I came! I laid down my divinity! I took up humanity! I lived a life! I walked where you walked! I know what lust is! I've experienced the temptation, the possibility of that, 33 years and not married, walking on this earth!"

You don't believe that there were opportunities and there were temptations that came?

And He said, "I've overcome that!"

When the enemy came to Him and said, "If you're really God, turn this stone into bread!"

Rather than satisfy His own appetite, He denied Himself!

So He knows what it's like!

He knows what it's like when you grab for that bottle, when you grab for that needle, or you grab for that drug!

He knows what that's like because He denied that!

So what He's saying is everything you experience, I've experienced it, but I've overcome!

And when He died on the cross, He said this: "It is finished!"

What is He saying? "I've done it! I've done it! I've purchased that! You're no longer a slave to that anymore!"

Here's a way to summarize everything I've said today in just a couple of phrases:

To develop self-control, I must realize I can't do it on my own, and I must believe that God can do it, and I must be willing to let Him!

Let's bow our heads. I want to pray first of all for those of us that are believers.

How many of you, with just pure honesty, would say, "Terry, this really resonated in my spirit today! Things that you said!" Raise your hand! Let me see your hands!

I want to pray for you! I want to pray with you! My hand is up with you!

Lord Jesus, You didn't just write these things so that they would never happen in our individual life.

I know there's some who raised their hand and said, "Yeah, this works for somebody else, but it hasn't worked for me."

But I pray, Holy Spirit, that You would do deep surgery today, and You'd bring hope into that hopeless area.

I pray as we would understand the fullness of Your love that the power of Holy Spirit can work in our life to produce self-control.

We need You, Jesus!

We give up! We surrender! We admit it! We ask for help!

As you continue to pray, let me say for somebody that might be here, and you've never invited Jesus into your heart and into your life.

If you were to die today, you're not sure if you'd go to heaven because you look at your life and you say, "Man, the life I've lived is not... it's not worthy of that!"

Nobody can get worthy enough! That's why Jesus came!

He lived a sinless life! He died on the cross for your sins! For your victory!

On the third day, He arose so that as many as call upon His name could be saved!

So I believe today, as the Holy Spirit is moving through this building and online, I believe that some of you are saying, "That's me! I'm a sinner in need of a Savior! Terry, would you pray for me and pray with me today?"

If that's you, while every head is bowed and every eye is closed, I'd like you to raise your hand very boldly and make eye contact with me.

Say, "That's me!"

Thank you, ma'am! Thank you!

Thank you back here! Thank you!

Thank you over here! Here! Here!

Thank you! Others today, "That's me! That's me!" Raise your hand!

Thank you, sir! Thank you!

Thank you back in the back! Thank you!

Would you pray this prayer with me today?

Father God, thank You for loving me!

Thank You for sending Your Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for my sins!

I need a Savior!

Forgive me today!

Thank You for forgiving me of my sins!

Forgive me a purpose for living and a hope for eternity!

Fill me with Your Spirit!

In Jesus' name!

Church, would you celebrate with me today those five or six that prayed that prayer?

In just a moment, after we receive our worship of tithe and offering, and before people leave today, over at First Step here and First Step here, we've got some resources to help you on your journey.

And so as you're getting ready to give, let me just read the scripture that how that financial sores are special to God.

Listen to this verse: 2 Corinthians 9:7 from the Amplified: "For God loves, He takes pleasure in, prizes above all things, and is unwilling to abandon or do without a cheerful, joyous, prompt-to-do-it giver whose heart is in his giving."

God bless you as you give today!

Hey, would you guys like to hear a real miracle that happened as a result of this fast that we've had? Would you like to hear this?

There's a lot of stuff up above, but I want to get down to some really important stuff here.

I want to share with you this guy says, "Six years ago, after losing my writing buddy who committed suicide on Christmas Day, God woke me up before Easter and told me to get back to church.

So I Googled bike-friendly churches, and the Father's House popped up with a picture of the bike parking, and I knew this is where God wanted me to go.

In the beginning of a sermon that day, Pastor Terry said, 'There's someone here who needs to be here. You might be sitting in the back, along the wall, or over to the side.'

He said, 'Wow! That was me! When I went in, I wanted to sit in the back row!'

And he said, 'I knew that was it!'

And he said, 'Pastor Terry kept talking, talking to me. I spoke with Pastor Terry and Anita, and I started coming to church as a faithful attender.

However, I didn't want anybody to know my name, so when I contributed, I contributed with cash so nobody would know. If I dropped out, they wouldn't bother me.

But for the three years, I've grown so much! Now I pride... I'm glad to write checks and put my name on it!

In six years, that has been so amazing! But here's what I want you to hear:

In November, Dr. Brown noticed something different in my health from treating me since 1998.

He had me go for a stress test, which showed a heart problem with blood flow, along with other tests.

I quickly asked Pastor Tim in the prayer group if he could pray about that, and he put me in contact with people that helped me.

Roland, who's had that same surgery, came along, and he asked me, 'How do you want me to pray?'

I said, 'I would like you to specifically pray that I don't need heart surgery and it could be corrected with stents!'

Because that's how we think, right?

On January 18th at 4:00 p.m., Dr. Hurt started the heart catheterization.

He said I was under anesthesia, but I could hear everything, and they said three arteries are fine.

And the doctor said, 'But the fourth artery—look at this! It's 100% blocked, dead, and no value!'

Then within seconds, he said, 'I could hear this! The doctor said, "But wait! I've never seen this! There's a new artery that's grown, replacing the dead one!"'

And the doctor and the nursing staff said, 'We've never seen this!'

Closed me up and sent me home!

And he said, 'I know... listen! I told the doctor it was because of God's grace—undeserved favor!

And I walked into church with His glory because God has done this!'

Yay, God! Yay, God!

Listen, let's stand and let's worship!

Let me just ask one thing over here in this section. We're going to ask you if you would just sort of move on out of that section.

Our ushers are going to have a meeting in that area. I'm trying to help facilitate that for them.

But let's worship in this song, shall we?

Let's worship!

I need a rescue! My sin was heavy, but chains break at the weight of Your glory!

I need a shelter! I was an orphan! Now You call me a citizen of heaven!

When I was broken, You were my healing! Now Your love is the air that I'm breathing!

I have a future! My eyes are open 'cause when You call my name, I shout it out of the darkness into Your glorious day!

1) "To develop self-control, I must realize I can't do it on my own, and I must believe that God can do it, and I must be willing to let Him." [01:09:51] (Download)

2) "The job of a football coach is to make men do what they don't want to do, in order to achieve what they've always wanted to be." [44:14] (Download)

3) "I am not a slave. That's a theological truth. If you are a Christ follower, you are not a slave." [56:45] (Download)

4) "Sin is no longer your master, for you're no longer subject to the law, which enslaves you to sin. Instead, you are free by God's grace." [57:33] (Download)

5) "When the Holy Spirit controls our lives, He will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." [42:00] (Download)

6) "The fruit of the Spirit is the outward expression of Christ dwelling within, so these should all be natural expressions that we have in our life." [42:43] (Download)

7) "I must go below the surface. I must get my spiritual shovel out and start digging." [56:45] (Download)

8) "God wants to control it, but He wants you to live it. I myself no longer live, but Christ lives in me." [01:07:45] (Download)

9) "I pray that from His glorious, unlimited resources He will give you mighty inner strength through His Holy Spirit." [01:02:25] (Download)

10) "We do life together. Nobody should ever feel like you're a Lone Ranger, that you got to handle something by yourself." [01:03:08] (Download)