Good to see you all in the house today! Would you join me, put your hands together, and let's welcome all of our spiritual family joining in online? God bless you, everybody! We love you! Get ready to jot down some notes; you're going to be really strengthened by what happens on the platform here today.
Hey, we just welcomed a moment ago all of our first-time guests. I want to also say welcome, but I give a special recognition to my brother-in-law Scott and my sister Trina. I'm going to introduce them in just a second. Their small group is here from their church, Gateway, home in Houston. Would y'all give us a wave right here? They came today. This just shows you the power of community and the importance of making certain that you sit in circles because you grow more spiritually in circles, I believe, than you do sitting in rows. So welcome! Glad you all are here today to encourage your friends as they minister today. Thank you so much for doing that.
All right, my brother-in-law and my sister, come on! Scott and Trina Rambo, will you give them a warm welcome today? Extend your hands this way; I want to pray for them as they get ready to roll.
Father in Heaven, thank you for Scott and Trina. Thank you for what you've done in their lives. Thank you, Lord, for renewing their minds. Thank you for restoring their joy, filling them full of faith again, even right now through the laying on of hands. Lord, thank you for it. Now bless them as they share. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen.
All right, as Jeff said, I am his sister, but I want to emphasize something: I'm his much younger sister. I thought, you know, it might be more fun to sit up here and tell stories about what it was like growing up with your pastor, but I decided I didn't want to take on—I don't want to be responsible for exposing him any more than he already does each week when he speaks.
So, anyway, in all seriousness, I have respected and admired my brother all of my life. He has been one that's full of faith, full of wisdom, has inspired me to pursue God in a very strong relationship, a very authentic way, and I just love him so much. I'm so thankful that he's my brother, and we're looking forward to sharing our story with you today.
Yeah, our story is one of a lot of pain and heartbreak, betrayal, shattered dreams, countless losses, but it's also a story of healing, hope, forgiveness, and grace, and just what God can do in the midst of a difficult situation. You know, from the very beginning, our prayer has been that God would take the mess that's been created and just make it matter. We really have asked God that He would bring to life the words of Romans 8:28, where it says, "We are confident that God is able to orchestrate everything to work towards something good and beautiful when we love Him and accept His invitation to live according to His plan."
And that's what our prayer has been since the beginning: that God would somehow take this mess and work it together towards something good and beautiful as we choose to trust Him and to live according to the plan that He has for us. So again, we are very grateful that you would allow us to just be here today and to share our story with you.
I said this in the first service, but this is the first time that we've actually sat on the platform and shared with a congregation our story, and so this will be the second time now, but today is the first day we've done that. So we greatly appreciate your prayers as we share today.
All right, I'm going to start us out at the beginning. Scott and I actually met here in Fort Worth in graduate school. I'm originally from Illinois, and he is from deep south in Alabama. In our first semester in graduate school, we had a class together, and I could tell from the jump that he was interested in me. So I played hard to get for a few months but finally caved when he asked me to be his Valentine in February of 1990.
Then we actually were married in November of that same year. We both felt called to vocational ministry, and we loved it. We loved serving together. We served in various churches here in the Metroplex while we lived here and then eventually answered the call to pastor a church in Sugar Land, Texas, which is right outside of Houston, back in 1995. We loved that church and led that community for 25 years until Scott resigned in March of 2020.
You know, a few months prior to his resignation, in the fall of 2019, I sensed a change in our relationship. We had been married for 29 years, and there had been ebbs and flows of relational closeness, but this time it was different. Something had shifted, and there were parts of his behavior that were off, which led to some very hard conversations. He mentioned having unfulfilled needs, and I said, "Yeah, I have withdrawn because I have my own unmet expectations." To which he replied, "Well, I'll never meet your expectations." It was just a vicious cycle that went round and round.
I remember during those months there were two particular nights where I couldn't sleep, and I got up and I just spent the night praying, listening to worship music, and seeking God because I was at a loss and I was desperate as to what was going on in our relationship and how to fix it. I felt that God definitely met me in that desperate place. Those nights ended up being a sweet time of honesty and confession. I confessed my own sin and failings to the Lord, and I felt like He was drawing me back to His heart and reminding me that He is my refuge and my strength, a very present help in time of trouble.
I had no idea what trouble was ahead. After that, I consistently asked the Lord to help me to love and to serve Scott in ways that would speak to the depths of his heart. I was just trying to do anything to get him to come back to me and for us to be on the same page again. But the more I loved and served him, the more distant he seemed.
Again, I mentioned behaviors. There were times that there were things that I just was like, "Tell me what's going on here. Explain this situation." He would either deny what I said that I saw, or he would explain it in ways that caused me to doubt my own sense of discernment and what was going on. I felt like I was going crazy until the truth finally came out on February 4th, 2020.
Yeah, February 4th, 2020, is a date that I'll remember for the rest of my life. My wife got in bed at 2:21 a.m., and I thought to myself, "Wow, she's getting in bed awfully late." I reached over to touch her, and as soon as I did, her body just became very rigid and stiff. I looked up at her, and I could see that her face was in her hands. I said, "Are you okay?" She said, "No." I said, "What's wrong?" Her next words just sent fear throughout my body and anxiety. She said, "I know everything."
She immediately got out of the bed. I went to pursue her, and I reached for my phone, which is typically on my bedside table, and she said, "It's not there." At that moment, I knew that my wife of 29 years had gone through my phone while I was asleep, and she found ample evidence of an affair that I'd been in.
Needless to say, we didn't sleep that night. We sat there and had some heated conversations. Trina's hurt, her pain was coming across as anger, and rightly so. But she said things like, "I won't be quiet about this. It's going to come out. Everyone's going to know, and you're going to lose everything: your ministry, the church, everything you've worked so hard for. It's gone. It's over."
There was a time where I recall sitting over in a chair in our room, and she recalls that I was just sitting there with a blank stare on my face, not saying anything. At the time, she took that as me just being cold and callous, but that wasn't it. I was sitting there, and I knew even though some of these words were spoken in the heat of the moment, I knew the truth was going to come out, and it was going to change our lives dramatically.
I just sat there speechless as the reality of that started hitting home. I knew, "Scott, there's no way you're talking yourself out of this one." That night was just such a difficult time for us.
In the days that followed the discovery of my affair, there was a chain reaction of events that took place, and decisions were being made about our future, about our income, about our friendships, our relationships, our status in the community, and the losses just began to pile up. I watched as my choices crushed the heart of the staff that we had, many of whom had been working with us for 10 to 20 years.
I saw how my choice eventually led to my resignation from a church that, as Trina just mentioned, we had loved and led and served for nearly 25 years. My choice eventually removed us from vocational ministry, which is all we'd ever done, and we loved how God had used us in that capacity.
As difficult as all of those things were, they paled in comparison to the hurt and the heartbreak that I saw in my wife, in my children, in my extended family. At times, watching their pain was so overwhelming; it was very difficult at times to even watch and be a part of.
What I saw and read on his phone that night both shattered my heart and caused my brain to feel like it was on fire. I was devastated, in shock, and just completely numb. I remember laying on the floor of my closet, just weeping, and I felt the Lord say, "Go to your brothers." So I called Jeff, and of course, he said, "Come on." Our middle son and daughter, who were still in our home, packed and went to stay with their older brother, and I left to go to Jeff's because none of us wanted to be around Scott at that point.
Our family was broken and in deep, deep pain. When I arrived at Jeff and Dawn's, I felt like I had walked into a safe space. I felt loved, and I felt the presence of God, and that was just so refreshing. They spent time listening to me, praying with me, sharing wisdom and insight, and trying their best to prepare me for what was ahead.
I spent several days with them and felt such peace. I really did not want to leave, but I knew I needed to go back and face this new reality. One of the things that Jeff told me to do is, he said, "Trina, you need to saturate your mind and your heart with worship music and with worship." I'm telling you, that has been a lifeline that has kept me standing through this whole thing.
When my brain was racing and wondering about all the unknowns about my future, and my heart was numb and frozen from all the pain, worship music helped me to express faith and hope again when it seemed so far away. A lot of times when we're in pain, we feel like God is not anywhere close, and we've just got to push through that dark night and get through it on our own. But that is so not true.
God, the scripture says that God is near to the brokenhearted, and He was, and I can testify to that, and I know that He will be with you as well. Psalm 91:1 and 4 say, "Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. He will cover you with His feathers; He will shelter you with His wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection."
Worship was my weapon; it was my armor and protection. The words of the music reminded me of what was true and who God is. When everything around me felt shaky and uncertain, worship music helped me establish my footing on a firm foundation that was Jesus Christ.
2 Corinthians 4:17 and 18 says, "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." Worship shifted my focus and perspective from my problems and what we were going through onto the One who could safely hold my heart.
Yeah, you know, I wholeheartedly agreed that it was good for Trina to come up here and spend time with Jeff and Dawn. I knew that she would receive encouragement and love that she needed. There were many reasons I thought it was a great idea, but probably the biggest reason is because I was still not repentant.
You know, I was remorseful because I had gotten caught, and I couldn't stand the way it was hurting my family, but I had not repented. I had not turned from my sin. The Book of Proverbs, in chapter 5:22, says, "The evil deeds of the wicked ensnare them; the cords of their sins hold them fast." He's saying when we participate in things like this, it becomes a snare, and the cords of those decisions hold us fast.
If you're in a snare, it is very difficult to release yourself from a snare, and I felt the grip that it had on me. I was not repentant. In fact, I was trying to deflect everything off of me. I was trying to blame her for all the decisions that I had made.
Let me just say, as a side note, if you're here today and you've been in your marriage or in your relationship and it's not everything that you're hoping it could be, I'm just telling you that adultery, stepping outside of the bounds of your marriage covenant, those are never justified actions. You may have a difficult situation, and you may have something that seriously needs some counseling and some hard work being done, but stepping outside of your marriage is never justified.
If you're here and you've been betrayed, it is not your fault. It is not your fault. I realize there may be issues, but stepping outside of that covenant relationship is not something that God ever would want, and it's not anything that's ever going to be justified.
At this time, though, in our relationship and what was going on, I was in full defend and deflect mode, and I didn't want to take responsibility for any of it. I realize now the longer that I did that, the worse things got, and the more I hurt Trina, and the more difficult it was for our relationship to ever experience any kind of healing.
In March of that year, we did a three-month therapeutic separation, and I moved out of the house. I had limited contact with Trina or our kids. I don't know if you remember, but that's also the beginning of COVID, so now everyone was being quarantined to their home, and you couldn't get out and do anything. I was in a place where I was away from everybody that I knew, had no contact with people, and I was alone and isolated, and exactly where God wanted me.
I don't know about you, but in the times in my life when I have been dealing with things like sin and guilt and shame and all of those kinds of things, my tendency is to try to run and hide. You know, similar to what you read in the Book of Genesis where Adam and Eve had sinned and they were hiding in the garden from God. That's my tendency as well—to run and to hide from God.
I do that by getting involved in work or with other people or into any kind of distraction just to not have to confront and deal with what was going on in my life. I was trying to do that, but God had put me in a place where it was just the two of us. I don't know if you know this, but when you're running from God and you're the only two in the house, it gets packed in that house, okay? There are not enough places to run.
It was so uncomfortable. Then Easter weekend came along, and Easter weekend is a pivotal point in our relationship. On Good Friday of that weekend, my wife discovered that I had still been in contact with this person, and everything—all the progress we had made—was completely destroyed.
On Saturday evening, I laid there in my bed alone, weeping because of the heartbreak that I had caused once again to my wife and to my family. I recall in that moment thinking, out of all the apologies that I've issued to everyone, I've never even stopped to tell God that I'm sorry.
When I laid there that night in bed, I just prayed. I said, "God, I'm so sorry. What I've done is wrong, and it's sin, and I'm sorry for breaking your heart." God did a couple of amazing things in that moment, and both of them were very necessary.
The first thing He did is that He didn't pull away from me; in fact, He drew closer to me. I didn't expect that. I should have, because I've preached it all my life, but I expected that God would just be put off with my life, and yet He drew closer to me.
It's as if He whispered, "Scott, you understand that this is what this weekend is all about? That 2,000 years ago, my son came and He died, and I raised Him from the grave so that you could experience freedom, forgiveness, grace, healing. But it starts with your confession. It starts with confessing that where you have been is wrong, it's sin, and that you didn't just break the hearts of your wife and your family and your friends and the church that you pastored, but you broke my heart, and you sinned against me.
With your confession, you can experience my grace, my forgiveness, and freedom because of what my son did. I know that it seems really bleak right now in your marriage and in your family. It seems like all hope is lost, and that's exactly the way it seemed 2,000 years ago with the disciples on Saturday as they watched Jesus crucified the day before.
But it's Saturday; it's the day between death and life because there's a Resurrection Sunday just around the corner. There can be a Resurrection Sunday in your marriage and in your relationship with your family as well if you trust me and if you do the things that I've asked you to do. All hope is not lost. It wasn't lost 2,000 years ago, and it's not lost now because I am a God who specializes in bringing dead things back to life. But you've got to trust me, and you've got to be willing to do the things that I ask you to do."
He instilled hope in me. The very next thing He did was just as necessary. In the Book of Acts, in Acts chapter 9, you read about Saul, Paul of Tarsus, who became the Apostle Paul. He was on his way to Damascus to persecute Christians, and Jesus showed up, confronted him with the light, and it blinded him. He was blind for three days, and then God told Ananias to go and pray for him.
It says that something like scales fell from his eyes, and he could see again. After I prayed and said, "God, I'm so sorry for what I've done," something like scales fell from my eyes as well. What I began to see very clearly, more so than I'd ever seen up to this point, was how much pain and heartbreak I had caused this lady, and it was overwhelming.
But it was necessary because what I've discovered through all of this is that what I refuse to feel, I refuse to heal. God needed me to understand; He needed me to have a level of empathy and understanding of what she was going through and the depth of the pain that she felt so that He could do a work in my heart and in my life as a result of that.
He certainly began to do that, and from that weekend, God began to slowly rebuild and restore our relationship. It took a long time; it did not happen overnight, and it did not happen with a simple apology. It took a lot of hard work, a lot of counseling—much of it for me primarily—but it took a lot of counseling and a willingness to do the hard things and to work together on some things. Slowly, God began to rebuild our relationship.
I don't know where you are today. I don't know where you are in your marriage or in relationships that you have with other people. You may be here today, and you've experienced betrayal. You may have experienced adultery. What we want to do in the next few minutes is just to try to give you some hope, and we want to explain some of the things or give you some things that we've learned in the last three years as God has brought us through this.
These are choices that you can make, and there are four choices I want to talk about that you can make to begin to restore and rebuild your relationship. The first choice that you can make is the choice to be curious. Choose to be curious.
You know, when everything started coming out, questions were being asked: What happened? How did this happen? How could something like this happen to Scott and Trina? Were there signs? What was going on? If you've ever gone through and you've been betrayed, those are the questions that you want to know. I mean, you want to know what happened, how did this happen, and they're very important questions.
But here's where I would give you just a word of caution: As human beings, we really love being comfortable, and we detest being in any kind of situation that's difficult or hard or painful. We will do everything we can to get away from that situation as quickly as we can to get back to a place of feeling good and feeling comfortable.
So often, we ask a bunch of questions that may be important on a level, but they tend to keep things on a surface as opposed to really getting beneath and really digging into some of the painful moments. One of our counselors said so often we focus on what we do and what we don't do as opposed to why we do what we do.
We focus on what kinds of questions like, "What were they doing? What was she doing? What was he doing in his spare time? Was he looking at porn? Was she not praying enough? What was their spouse doing? Was their spouse not meeting their needs? Were they working too many hours?" All of these may be important questions, but they tend to be what kinds of questions that lead us toward a checklist of behavior modification.
As long as you're doing the things that you're supposed to be doing and you're not doing the things that you're not supposed to be doing, then we'll get back to a place where everybody's happy and feeling comfortable. Again, there are certain behaviors that absolutely need to be modified. There were behaviors in my life that needed to be modified, but if we had stopped there, if I had chosen to not be curious and to try to dig in and to see what was beneath the surface, then I would have just kept things in a very shallow place, and I'm not sure that we would have ever fully healed.
So we decided I want to be curious. I was listening to a podcast where a guy was being interviewed, and his name is Terry Wartle. He was being interviewed and asked about why leaders implode morally, and here’s what he said: "I'm convinced that aberrant behavior comes from deep wounds, false beliefs, and ungrieved losses. There's something within us that's driving these kinds of things, and it's imperative on us to really dig deep and discover what those things are."
Here's a truth that we kind of learned, and I want to leave with you: Our actions today are driven and rooted in our beliefs and behaviors of yesterday. See, the actions that we take—we always think, "This was just spur of the moment. I just decided to do that. I don't know why I thought that way. I don't know why I said those kinds of things." No, everything we do—there's never a choice or an action that we take that's in a vacuum, that's all by itself. Everything we choose to do and say is rooted somewhere; they're rooted in our past, in behaviors that we've engaged in or beliefs that we've accepted as true.
Jesus said it this way in the Book of Matthew, chapter 15: "But the things that come out of a person's mouth come from the heart, and these things defile them. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what defile a person."
Jesus is saying the things that come out of you are rooted deeply within you. They have roots, and they're attached to behaviors and beliefs of your past. If you don't dig in and discover what some of those things are, then you're just bound to keep repeating those same kinds of things. They may come out a different way, but you're bound to keep repeating them.
All of those things influence the actions we take today. It's kind of like this visual that you'll see. It's a visual of an iceberg. The tip of the iceberg, as you probably already know, is the smallest part of the iceberg. What's underneath the waterline is so much bigger and so much more dangerous than what's above the waterline. But what's above the waterline is what everybody sees about us.
See, the actions that we take, the words we say, it's the polished look that we have on the outside. It's what everybody sees. What people cannot see is what's beneath the surface of the water. They can't see the things that are influencing us, like shame, the lies that we believe, unconfessed sin, unhealed wounds, ungrieved losses, resentment, anger, bitterness—things that are influencing us. These are rooted in us from things that we've believed and behaved in the past, and they're influencing our actions and decisions today.
We need to know why. Why are those things happening? As I began to dig deep into some of this and be curious, what I began to understand and learn about myself is that I had unhealed wounds way back when I was younger. I had losses that I had never even tried to process or grieve. I had decisions that I had made and actions that I had taken in my life that had just inundated me with shame.
From a very early age, I began believing the lie that I'm not enough, I don't measure up, and that lie was a part of my life. It fueled most everything I did, and I needed to know these things.
Listen, those things don't excuse my actions. Those sinful choices I made were my choices. They don't excuse anything, but what it began to do is give me a little bit of a roadmap of why I did some of those things and a pathway toward healing that I desperately needed.
Because here's what I knew: I knew that if this lady right here—if she chose to stay with me, and that was a big if—but if she chose to stay with me, she didn't need some Scott 2.0. She didn't need the same thing except just a slicker, shinier version of it. She deserved a healthy Scott. She deserved a Scott whose identity is rooted in Christ, not in what I do, what people think about me, how pleasing I am to others. No, she needed someone rooted in Christ.
She needed someone—a healthy Scott—that was willing to do the hard things and to dig in and not just sweep those things off to the side under the carpet. She needed a Scott that would be vulnerable and honest with her about my life that would then create a safe environment for her to begin to trust, to begin to heal, and possibly lead to a place of intimacy. She deserved those things.
You've got to be curious. You've got to choose to be curious and understand why I'm doing what I'm doing. The second choice you can make is to choose to be honest. Choose to be honest.
When things started coming out, Trina had a lot of questions, and rightly so. I was doing everything I could to not be forthright with any of those questions and to try to hang on to things and not let her know. But here's what I discovered over time: I needed to get those things out as much as she needed to have her questions answered.
See, I was just looking at it like she just needs to have all this information. She doesn't need it. No, no, no. She had questions that she needed answers for, but I needed to get that stuff out. Jesus said it in John 10:10: "The thief has come to steal and kill and destroy, but I have come that you would have life and have it abundantly."
Here's what I can tell you about our enemy, Satan: His one purpose is to do anything he can to thwart the plans of God, and that pertains to your life as well. Anything connected to God, he wants to destroy. The way he does that is he steals, he kills, he destroys. He will steal your joy, he will steal your freedom, he will steal your passion, he will kill your future, your relationships, your family, and he will destroy anything that God is wanting to do in your life and through your life.
He will do everything he can to destroy that in your faith with it. One of the primary tools that he uses are secrets—secrets, the things that you hold inside, and you think, "I'm the only one that knows this. I'm going to go to my grave with this."
There's a saying that says, "Secrets make you sick," and here's the reason that's so true: The secrets that we hold on to, that we say we're going to go to our grave with, those are the very things that the enemy uses against us in the way of shame and condemnation to keep us at a place where God—even if we wanted God to do things in our life, we don't want to get rid of the shame and condemnation the enemy is piling on to us.
It's through the secrets that we're holding on to. The truth is secrets kill, but honesty leads us to a place of freedom and intimacy. Only when we bring those things out to the light will we ever experience any kind of healing.
If you desire to have healthy relationships, if you desire to be a healthy person, especially if you desire to have healthy relationships in your life, it only begins with honesty. You have to be honest.
Here's what James says in the Book of James, chapter 5, verse 16: "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed." We confess so that we can be healed, that we can be a whole person.
If you desire in your marriage or in other relationships to reach a place of intimacy in those relationships, you cannot get there without honesty. Intimacy is based on trust, and if the person can't trust you, you'll never have an intimate relationship with them.
That trust is based on safety. If they don't feel safe, they're not going to trust you, and they will never feel safe if they feel like you're not being honest, if they feel like you've got things to hide, that you're not forthcoming with everything. They will never ever feel safe, and because of that, they'll never trust you, and you will never experience intimacy without trust.
It all begins with honesty. So I encourage you: choose to be curious, choose to be honest, and third, choose to forgive. Trina is going to talk about that.
Yeah, forgiveness after betrayal feels very complicated, and I hope that some of the things I share right now will help to maybe uncomplicate that for you. First of all, forgiveness and reconciliation are two separate things. You can forgive someone and put boundaries in place to protect your heart, and that is really a healthy thing to do after a betrayal or an offense has been done.
So you can forgive a person and still put those boundaries in place. Forgiveness does not equal trust. I can forgive; you can forgive a person, but you don't have to trust them. It took a very long time after I extended forgiveness to Scott for him to build up that trust account with me again. Time plus consistent, believable behavior equals trust, and that's what I was looking for out of him.
Forgiveness does not depend on the other person making it right. They may never acknowledge it; they may never say they're sorry; they may never change. But we have the choice to forgive. Forgiving a person is not excusing what they did; it's not taking their responsibility for it.
When we forgive someone, we are releasing the hold that unforgiveness has on our own heart. Ephesians 4:32 says, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another just as God also forgave you in Christ." God is the one asking us to forgive. Scott didn't ask me to forgive; God asked us to forgive.
He is asking us that because He knows our hearts are prone to turn hurt into bitterness, into anger, into anxiety, and that is a heavy weight for our already broken hearts to bear. He wants us to release that hold by forgiving people.
I had to come to a place and answer a question, and I want to pose it to you as well if there's a struggle of forgiving someone in your own life. That question is just simply, "Do you want to heal?" My answer was yes; I wanted to heal. I wanted my heart to heal again. I wanted to be whole again, and the answer to do that is to forgive—to forgive, to release, and let it go.
Lisa Turkhurst, in her book "Forgiving What You Can't Forget," talks about forgiveness being a decision that you make. Forgiveness is a decision, and it's also a process. It's important to make the decision to forgive the facts of what happened, but then there are triggers and memories that come up, and that's more of the process of forgiveness.
Where you have already had that moment of, "I have forgiven the facts," okay, now a memory or a trigger has come up. I'm forgiving the impact of what those facts are, the toll that they're taking on my life. There were times that the enemy tried to use that; he would bring things up, and I would have to say, "No, I have already forgiven that. That has no place in my mind and heart right now."
Lisa also talks about in her book that whatever my feelings will not yet allow for, the blood of Jesus will surely cover. You may not feel like you can forgive right now, and so the blood of Jesus will cover that. When you forgive and the blood of Jesus covers it, it gives you a new lens in which to view your life.
Yeah, you know, I've been asked many times, "Scott, have you forgiven yourself?" If you've ever betrayed someone, you know how that question can feel, and my answer is typically, "I'm working on it." It's much like what Trina explained—that it's a process. Yes, I have forgiven myself, and yes, I continue to forgive myself.
I don't know that there's ever going to be a day when I don't regret what I did, but here's where I've come to live: I hate what I did, but I love what God has done. I love what He's doing. I hate what I did so much; I wish with everything I have that I could get a do-over. But I love what He's done in our life and how He's taken the brokenness and the mess, and He's really done a work in our hearts and lives together.
But we can make that choice. We can choose to be curious, choose to be honest, choose to forgive, and then the fourth thing—and this really probably should have been the first—is to choose to invite Jesus into the mess. Choose to invite Jesus into the mess.
I think a lot of times we think to ourselves, "Man, God is probably so put off with my life right now; there's no way I'm inviting Him. He wouldn't want to." I'm just telling you that Jesus is more willing to jump into your mess than we are willing to ask Him to come into our mess. He is so ready to step into the mess and try to lead you to a place of wholeness and healing if you just invite Him in.
He says this in Matthew 11: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
If you're here today and you've walked through a difficult situation or you're in the middle of one—maybe including betrayal or just heartache in the middle of a relationship—I'm just telling you that Jesus is looking to connect with you today and saying, "Just invite me in. Just come to me with your heartbreak, with your shame, with the condemnation, with the losses, with the wounds. Come to me, and I'll give you rest. I'll give you rest for your souls."
Because it may very well be that it's just Saturday in your marriage and in your relationship. It could be that it's the day between death and life, and I am a God who not only specializes in it, but I love bringing dead things back to life if you just trust me and if you just invite me into the mess and let me lead you to a place of freedom.
Can I pray with you? God, we are so thankful. We're so thankful for all that you do in our lives on a consistent basis, and God, I am so thankful for what you've done in my life personally and what you've done in our marriage and my family. God, we've done a lot of hard work, but you did what only you can do, and it's so much more than the things that we've done.
I'm so thankful. God, I just pray for anyone here today who's in the middle of a struggle, and maybe they're the ones that betrayed someone else, and maybe they have shame and guilt and condemnation. Maybe they're holding on to secrets, and it's just eating away at their life. I pray that today they would bring those things to you, and they would bring all of that junk into the light so that the enemy no longer has that hold, and they would confess those things to be healed.
You would create a healing and a wholeness in their heart and in their life. Lord, I pray for marriages here today that may be struggling. Maybe they've gone through adultery, and maybe they're trying to decide, "Do we want to stay with this?" I just pray that above everything else, they would have hope, that they would understand who you are and what you specialize in, and your desire to work in their lives and to lead them to a place of healing and freedom and intimacy.
So God, I just pray that your Holy Spirit would have the freedom today to work in our lives, draw us to the decision that we are willing to hand over to you those things that are burdening our hearts so that you would give us rest. We thank you for what you're going to do, and we pray all these things in Jesus' name. Amen.
Would you all join me? Let's show our appreciation to Scott and Trina for sharing with us today.
All right, before we go, can you put the QR code up for us? How many of you all have watched or listened to the Real Strength podcast? Oh, I love all 30 of you! The rest of you need to repent.
The Real Strength podcast is something that Pastor Brienne and I are doing to try to help as many of you as possible. If you have questions, would you scan the QR code and send them in? Tomorrow, Scott and Trina are standing over tonight. Tomorrow, we're going to shoot however many episodes we need to shoot on the Real Strength podcast to answer the questions that you have based upon what they shared today.
All right, so send those in, and we'll try to get to them tomorrow. Everyone, stand to your feet. Prayer team, would you make your way to the front?
Two things I would ask of you before you go: Number one, if you don't know for certain that you're going to have eternal life with God in His Heaven forever, I want to encourage you to come down and take the moment provided for you with one of our prayer team members and just say, "I need Jesus. Help me meet Jesus."
Secondly, if you have any concerns or any burdens, let us pray for those right here. Offload those burdens before you go out and face the world. Leave them right here at the altar.
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on Nov 05, 2023
