In this sermon, I discussed the importance of submission, respect, and love in a marriage, particularly from the perspective of a wife towards her husband. I emphasized that submission does not mean agreeing on all matters, leaving one's intellect at the altar, or putting the will of the husband ahead of the will of Jesus. It also does not involve acting in fear or trying to change the husband through nagging or manipulation. Instead, submission involves a natural outflow of respect and love, a default heart to speak respectfully to the husband. I also highlighted the importance of living a pure and trustworthy life, not succumbing to the pressures of the culture to conform to worldly standards of beauty, but focusing on the adornment of a godly heart.

Key takeaways:
- Submission in marriage does not mean agreeing on all matters or leaving one's intellect at the altar. It involves a natural outflow of respect and love [ 20:47].
- Wives should live a pure and trustworthy life, not succumbing to the pressures of the culture to conform to worldly standards of beauty [ 21:32].
- The focus should be on the adornment of a godly heart, which is more beautiful than what can be achieved on the outside [ 22:23].
- Wives should not try to change their husbands through nagging or manipulation, but through living a godly life [ 23:22].
- The gospel of Jesus Christ has done more for the rights of women than anything else, lifting up the status of women [ 49:18].

Bible Reading:
1. 1 Peter 3:1-6 [07:40]
2. 1 Peter 2:9 [50:37]
3. 1 Peter 2:11 [16:06]

Observation Questions:
1. What does 1 Peter 3:1-6 instruct wives to do in their marriages, especially if their husbands are not believers?
2. How does 1 Peter 2:9 relate to the instructions given to wives in 1 Peter 3:1-6?
3. In 1 Peter 2:11, what does it mean for wives to be "strangers and exiles" in their marriages?

Interpretation Questions:
1. How does the concept of submission in 1 Peter 3:1-6 differ from common cultural understandings of submission?
2. What does it mean for wives to "proclaim the praises of the one who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light" in their marriages, as suggested by 1 Peter 2:9?
3. How does the idea of being "strangers and exiles" in 1 Peter 2:11 apply to the way wives should behave in their marriages?

Application Questions:
1. How can you, as a wife, apply the principle of submission in your marriage, especially if your husband is not a believer?
2. How can you, as a wife, demonstrate the "imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit" in your daily interactions with your husband?
3. How can you, as a husband, encourage and support your wife in her efforts to live out the principles outlined in 1 Peter 3:1-6?
4. How can you, as a single person, prepare now to apply these principles in

Good morning! If we've not met yet, my name is Don Spivey. I'm the pastor here, and I love serving this church. It's exciting to see what God is doing here and to see some new faces.

We still have people traveling all over the place, which is good as well. One day, here's the thing: you may not see it right this moment, but if we had everybody here that comes here, we wouldn't be able to fit everyone in. So one day, that's going to be really close to happening.

As we talk about God's word this morning, we are still in First Peter. Let me tell you what we're talking about: living as strangers, as citizens of a kingdom that is not this kingdom but another kingdom. We've been discussing these things for many reasons, but one is to prepare our hearts for what is coming.

As we live in this society that we have been placed in as Christians, as citizens, as Peter says, as God's chosen exiles, we are also living in exile. So how do we operate in these days? How do Christians stand out, and how do Christians do it in a way that is loving and reflects Jesus? As we often say, in a way that does not become a jerk for Jesus, but rather a reflection of Jesus.

Originally, we were only going to spend three or four weeks on this idea, talking about First Peter and the three categories: our relationship with God, our relationship with each other, and our relationship with the world. We were just going to focus on those three ideas and then slip off to another book in the Bible.

But as we've dived into First Peter, I have felt impressed that we need to stay here and work our way through the totality of the book, which is typically what we do—going through books of the Bible, what is called expository preaching. This just means that we are exposing the truth found in scripture.

So today, in light of all of that, we are going to pick up in First Peter chapter three, verses one through six.

Now, in our day and time, this sounds fairly controversial as we dive into it, where it says, "Wives, submit." And we all know that wives love to submit, right? That is not a slam against wives. We also know that husbands love to submit. And we know from other areas in scripture that clearly say that husbands and wives are also to mutually submit to the Lord. So there's a lot of submission happening.

We're going to talk about this in light of First Peter chapter three, verses one through six. I've had the privilege of doing many weddings over the years. Recently, I did one not too long ago for a couple here in the church, and it was exciting and beautiful. Weddings are beautiful!

I remember one of my first weddings was a sunrise wedding in Daytona. I have learned since then that if you would like me to do a sunrise wedding anywhere on the face of this planet, I'm going to ask you to please give me a hotel room. Because a 4 a.m. drive from Leesburg to Daytona in pouring down rain, as a young minister with no money, driving a 1980s pickup truck with a broken windshield wiper, was not fun.

I was so frazzled when I got there. I was the only one at the beach at that time wearing a full suit and tie, which I should have thought about asking the bride and groom what we were wearing. In the middle of the ceremony, at this beautiful time when the sun is rising, the rain has stopped, the clouds are uniquely dark and light, and sun rays are shining, I get to the "I do's." I pause, lean in, and say, "Man, I cannot remember your name. I'm so sorry."

So I learned at that time to write names down in whatever notes I have. When I spoke at my daughter's wedding, I had her name down and her fiancé's. I've had a lot of opportunities to do weddings over the years, and I think my batting average is good—not to me, but to God's glory. Most of these husbands and wives have stayed together. Praise God!

God has just been so good over the years to see these times when a husband and wife, a man and a woman, come together in holy matrimony in a covenant between them and God, and a covenant between their family, friends, and church. It is just a beautiful thing to be a part of.

I've also learned that the best and the worst come out in people at weddings and funerals. Family members seem to lose their minds. Some of you are florists, and you know what I'm talking about. But it is a beautiful thing to be in that moment.

Now, in the culture that we live in today, there's an attack on marriage, is there not? There has been an attack on marriage. I know I can sit here, and if you call yourself a Christian and you're walking with Jesus, I can preach to the choir about there being an attack on marriage. I know how to get an amen from everybody in the room.

I can tell you that it's an abomination what we're doing to marriage. I can tell you that it is a husband and wife; it is not a wife and wife; it is not a man and man. It is God's plan to be a husband and a wife. There, I knew I'd get an amen, and rightly so.

But this is what I'm talking about with First Peter and living as strangers. That is true; what we just said is true. There is an attack on marriage, and it shouldn't be the way it has gone. But we have to approach it in a way that reflects the heart of Jesus. Amen?

We need to show the love of Jesus, not afraid to stand up for what is true, but doing it in a way that we're not jerks for Jesus. That is my prayer for myself and my prayer for our church—that we would reflect the heart of Jesus, even when we live in a culture that has taken things that used to be wrong and now has said they are correct.

There are so many of those things—abortion is another one. We can go on and on about these social issues. But let's attack these social issues and erode the foundation with the word of God, just like Peter did, and Paul did, and the Apostles did when it came to what we talked about last week regarding slavery.

Even today, when we talk about wives and husbands, we see that wives had no rights in this culture—no rights at all. But the gospel lifts up the role of womanhood. It lifts up women. Jesus spoke to women when he wasn't supposed to.

There's a story in John chapter four where Jesus meets the woman at the well. As a rabbi, he sends his disciples off to town to get food, knowing that he's going to have an interaction with this woman. He speaks to her, honors her, respects her, and ultimately lifts up the status of women.

Did you know that in this Roman Empire, when authors and philosophers wrote, they did not address women? They also did not address slaves. They did not address them in their writings for many reasons—one being that they didn't think they were worth addressing. But God lifts up the worth of women. It is a beautiful thing, and we see it here in First Peter.

In one way, we see that he is going to address the wives. He doesn't even have to address the wives; it would be completely inappropriate in the culture for him not to address the wives, but he does. And that is a good, godly thing.

There is nothing that has done more for the rights of women than the gospel of Jesus Christ. That is absolutely true. Where we see the gospel of Jesus Christ flourishing in a culture, we see women's rights very high. We see flourishing in that culture.

So may we see that in our culture today—the gospel of Jesus Christ rising to the top. But may we do it in a way that we are not ruining our relationships with the people around us, that we are doing it in a way that loves, respects, and honors those around us. That is our goal; that is our hope. I hope that is yours as well.

Let's look at First Peter. If you have a copy of God's word, I hope you do. Let's open up to First Peter chapter three. We're going to read from verses one through six.

"In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, so that even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word by the way their wives live. When they observe your pure, reverent lives, don't let your beauty consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and wearing gold jewelry, but rather what is inside the heart—the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For in the past, the holy women who put their hope in God also adorned themselves in this way, submitting to their own husbands. Verse six says, just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, you have become her children when you do what is good and do not fear any intimidation."

As we jump into this, you may be a single lady or a single man, or you may just be a man in general, and you might look at this text and think, "I don't know what this has to say about me." If you are a single lady, this has a lot of application in your life. If you are a married woman, this has much application in your life. Husbands and single men, likewise, everything we are going to talk about here can apply to your own life.

As we go through this, you will see that this says something to all of us. All of us—450—and even in my own wrestling with this text, I am asking myself, "Am I loving my wife?" Especially when we get to verse seven, which we are not going to tackle today, that talks about husbands. Am I loving my wife in this way? Yes, this is the way. Am I doing these things that we see Peter saying these ladies, the wives, should do?

So we come to this: it is an all skate; everybody is included in all of what is happening here. What we see then is going back to First Peter chapter two, verse 11. If you have a copy, go ahead and circle back to verse 11 in chapter two.

I want to tie all of this together because all of this ties together. First Peter chapter two, verse 11 says this: "Dear friends, I urge you as strangers and exiles to abstain from sinful desires that wage war against your soul. Conduct yourselves honorably among the Gentiles, so that when they slander you as evildoers, they will observe your good works and will glorify God on the day he visits."

Then he says, "Whether to the emperor as the supreme authority or to the governors as those sent out by him to punish those who do what is evil and to praise those who do what is good. For it is God's will that you silence the ignorance of foolish people by doing good. Submit as free people, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but as God's slaves. Honor everyone; love the brothers and sisters; fear God; honor the emperor."

What we see here in verse 13 is setting up what we've been talking about the last week or two weeks ago, last week and today, and then it will flow through the remainder of the book. What he has set up is the idea of honoring and submitting to every human institution, and then he lists those institutions. Marriage is one of those that he is listing.

So when we come to chapter three, when it says right there at the beginning, "In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands," that phrasing "in the same way" is taking us all the way back to that big topic, that big idea of submitting to every human authority or institution. It is also pointing us back to what we talked about last week when it came to slaves and masters, or another way of saying it, when we face unjust circumstances.

In the same way, what did he tell us to do? If you look then at chapter two, verse 21, you can tie this as well into the same way because it is talking about Jesus. He is saying that just like Jesus, in the same way, bring that relationship just like Jesus into chapter three.

So verse 21 of chapter two: "For you were called to this because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example that you should follow in his steps. He did not commit sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth. When he was insulted, he did not insult in return. When he suffered, he did not threaten, but entrusted himself to the one who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that having died to sins, we might live for righteousness. By his wounds, you have been healed. For you were like sheep going astray, but you have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls."

In the same way, chapter three, verse one is referring to the idea that we are to submit to these human institutions, and it is referring to us in the same way—likewise, how Jesus modeled this way. Jesus modeled it as our illustration and our substitution so that we can live in this manner.

Now, when it comes to this situation with wives, basically what he is saying is that the wife is alone; she is an exile in the marriage. The wife is not only exiled in culture but exiled in marriage.

He is specifically addressing the wives of unbelieving husbands, but it also applies to wives of believing husbands. Wives of unbelieving husbands—who knows what happened? Somehow, this wife came to faith in Jesus.

Now, I don't like to put words where words are not found in scripture, but I do have a sanctified imagination. I just wonder if the husband is like, "What in the world happened to you? Why are you following these people and following their God? Am I not enough for you, woman?"

You ever said that in my any man? "Am I not enough for you, woman?" There are two phrases right there that are going to get you in trouble. It is almost like he is saying, "I didn't sign up for this. This is not what I married. This is not what I agreed to."

But this woman, this wife, she loves God, honors God, and Peter says in that exiled marriage, "This is how you should live." That is powerful! That is absolutely powerful.

I know some of you are in that situation. You love Jesus, but your husband does not. You love Jesus at a level that your husband is not there. So I want to point us to the truth of the scripture here to follow along with what he says about how you should live your life in that situation.

Let's pause for a second. By way of public announcement, because it happened last week too back here, and it happens almost every week, praise God we have these things in our pockets that have apps that we never use. It is called a phone.

Now, I also want to say to single ladies, all the single ladies, forgive me, forgive me, forgive me. You also need to look at this because what we're talking about here is extremely attractive to a godly man. It is extremely attractive to a godly man.

So let's unpack some of these things, and we'll do some application along the way. We'll wrap it up at the end with some specifics.

Let's just look at this. First of all, look at verse one again: "In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, so that even if some disobey the word..." So if some, that would be the husbands disobeying the word—they're not believers. We can prove that idea of disobeying the word and not being believers is the same thing, but we don't have enough time to do that here.

Here's the phrase: "They may be won over without a word by the way their wives live." That they may be won over without a word by the way their lives live. Here's a question that we should all ask ourselves: Is it possible for somebody to come to faith in Jesus Christ without a word, by only looking at your life?

Is it possible for me to live a really, really good life and then somebody be like, "Man, I need Jesus as my savior," without ever hearing the word of God? We know that is not true. We know that is not the case.

First Peter chapter one, verses 23 through 25, and many other places show that faith comes by hearing the word of God. There has to be a communication of God's word, a communication of God's gospel.

So I think the conclusion we should draw here in verse one is that even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word by the way their wives live. The idea is not that she has never spoken about the gospel. The idea is that she's not nagging him about the gospel.

She is not on him over and over and beating him down, saying, "You need this," and there's a lot of "ra ra ra ra ra." It becomes like Charlie Brown's teacher: "ra ra ra ra ra."

As Proverbs would say, "It is much better to live on the corner of a roof than in the house with a nagging woman." Oh, that's the Proverbs. I didn't say it; that's Proverbs.

Over and over and over, that is what he's saying. So ladies, if you are married to an unbelieving husband, it is good and godly to share your faith, but don't beat him over the brow with it.

We can make application to this with our children as well. Yes, we share the gospel, but we don't beat them over the heads with it. They will not come to faith if we slap them around with a Bible.

So we share the gospel. We don't nag, nag, nag. We love them, and we live with them, and we submit. That is what he is saying: submit.

We'll come back in a little bit and kind of give a definition of submission and what that looks like and what that means. But it is not possible for somebody to only look at our good behavior and not come to faith.

This happened to me. I've shared this before, but it was with somebody that I dearly, dearly loved, and it was my dad. My dad told me—we were hunting in the middle of the woods on a dirt road hunting deer. Forgive me; I'm just a terrible hunter.

We're standing there on the dirt road, and my dad looks at me and says, "I can never be as good as you." It hit me after that moment. It hit me: have I not spoken the gospel to my dad? I have, but have I painted a picture that trusting in Jesus was all about being really good?

So friends, I want to encourage you: wives, husbands, students, young adults, what have you? Yes, we live a good life, but we look for opportunities to speak the gospel. Because if not, we just might be painting a picture that trusting Jesus is all about good works. And that is not the case at all.

Faith comes by hearing and hearing the word of God. So the principle here, I think we can draw for all of us is that we do not nag, nag, nag in this moment.

So in the same way, wives, we are in the same way submitting to human institutions. We are in the same way, back to chapter two, doing this in the way that Jesus would have us—as an illustration and a substitution, as Jesus was.

And then we're submitting ourselves, which is the idea. Submit is like the idea of rank. It is the idea of the form of rank that we are submitting and allowing. Ladies, we're following this man to lead the family.

Christian husbands, my goodness, I can't wait till we get to verse seven. We're not going to do it today because we would be here too long to tackle verse seven. But there are a lot of things that he says to the wives through verses one and six, and he really only has like one or two things that he says to the husbands.

I don't know if that's an implication to us husbands that we can't handle a lot of things or not, but it is so imperative. Husbands, and so we wives submitting, husbands leading, loving.

Let's go to verse two. When they observe, when they observe, the unbelieving husbands—when they observe your pure, reverent lives. Connecting the verses, they may be won over without a word by the way their wives live when they observe your pure, reverent lives.

The word "reverent" is similar to the word that we talked about last week. It is the word that in Greek would be "phoboes." It is the word that we would translate into English as "phobia."

So what then is the woman, what is the wife of this unbelieving husband supposed to fear? Living a life that reflects fear and reverence, respect, honor. Is it honoring and is it fearing the husband or fearing something else?

Again, we tie all of this together where it came from in chapter two. We can easily conclude that wife, you are not fearing your husband—whether he's a believer or not. You are fearing God. Your only fear is God.

It is greater than your respect and reverence for your husband. He says that you are only fearing your husband. You are not my ultimate fear; God is. And I will seek to please him.

Now, of course, that brings us into the question: what is submission, and where does that go? Do I just blindly follow an unbelieving husband or even a husband that claims to be a follower of Jesus? Do I just blindly follow?

Ladies, you are never commanded to follow a husband into sin—never. Just like we've been saying about all the other human institutions, when the human institution goes against God's word, we always go with God's word.

Always go with God's word. As we go with God's word, we do so in light of the illustration of Jesus, the love, and the honor and the respect. But we always go with God's word.

This also, we'll come to it a little bit later, but I just want to lay it out there because I know that there may be some in the room or some watching online. You live in some really bad situations—really difficult, hurtful situations.

Praise God, and God give you grace, mercy, and strength to live in a way that reflects Jesus in the middle of that. But submission does not mean you submit to abuse. It does not mean you stay in abandonment. It does not mean that you live in a way that you have been abused over and over again.

If that is the case, you come tell me. I will go talk to the deacons and leaders of our church, and I will ask them to hold me back. Then we'll call the law.

Submission is also this: notice in verse one, I didn't mention it, but it's important. It says, "Wives, submit to your husbands." It is not "Wives, submit to every man."

Just by way of cultural analysis for us today, I did go back and look at the original language because I was like, "Huh, I wonder what 'wife' means?" Yeah, it comes from the root word for "wife," which is the word that we would get in English for "gynecology." I think that's a woman. I think that's a wife as a woman.

And then the word for "husband" is "man." It's husband. So it is a wife, a woman, and a man. A way of cultural analysis. Now, you're not called to submit to every man. You're also not called to stay in abuse.

You are called to submit as long as this individual is walking with the Lord, leading in a way that is not against what the Lord would say. The Lord would put in his word for us.

So it is not following into sin. It's not staying in an abusive marriage. It is also not blind allegiance. It's not blind allegiance.

I'll prove that later in this time. So at this point in verses one and two, basically what you have is a wife, a believing wife, and an unbelieving husband. That unbelieving husband knows the gospel because the believing wife has shared it in a way that is not nagging and constantly beating him over the head.

But she has spoken what has happened to her. Now, he knows the gospel. Now, she is going to trust God. As she trusts God, she's going to live a pure and trustworthy life.

What did we learn earlier in chapter two? Doing good is really the idea of living a good and beautiful life, which is a command for all of us, male or female.

Now, we are living this good and beautiful, pure and trustworthy life. Now, let's pick up in chapter three, verses three and four, and let's ask the question and try to answer it.

Now, why is Peter talking about outward appearance? Why is he talking about how you dress? "Don't let your beauty consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and wearing gold jewelry, but rather what is inside the heart—the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."

So why is he now addressing this outward appearance? Most likely, the assumption could be made that there's a pressure in the culture to live in a way that looks like the other women in the culture.

I think you can also draw the conclusion that if the believing wife is afraid that the unbelieving husband is going to kick her out of the home because of the decisions that she has made to follow Jesus, that is a real possibility.

That would put her into a society that does not honor her, does not respect her, does not love her, and she has very little hope to get through that society without her husband.

So is she tempted then to manipulate the husband in a way with her elaborate outward appearance? That has no relevance for today at all. That is sarcasm at its finest.

Have you been tempted to live in the style of the world and not live for what Jesus says that is in the heart? Have we, and then you're guilty as well? Have we sought the improvement and the adornment of the world over what is in the heart?

That is what God is looking for. It is what is in the heart. Now, what is in our heart must overflow into our lives. He is not saying you are not allowed to wear any jewelry. That is not the case.

He is not saying that you are not allowed to go to the barber and get your hair cut or to the hairstylist and get your hair done. I do not know what you do there. You have spent a lot of time there. I do not know hair and toes.

I do not know. My wife said, "You have to get a pedicure." I was like, "You have seen my toes? Nobody wants to do that."

What he is saying is, "Don't appeal to the things of the world in order to manipulate your husband to love you more because of your outward appearance. But adorn your life with a godly heart."

That is more beautiful than what you can do on the outside. Why is that? Well, fashion fades. Beauty fades. I love you, ladies, but there is going to be a day. Gravity takes over. Gravity always wins. Things sag.

I do not care how much Pilates or CrossFit we do; it is coming. One day, it is coming. And so if that is your only focus, ladies, single ladies, if that is your only focus, that is not what God is saying.

God is saying, "Don't focus on what is going to fade, but focus on what is forever." And that is going to be the heart. That is going to be your heart pointed to Jesus, loving Jesus, surrendered to Jesus.

We will see that spelled out a little bit more here in just a moment. So don't be afraid that he will kick you out. Trust God, follow God, and cultivate an inward beauty that reflects the heart and message and life of Jesus Christ.

That is what he calls you to, ladies, who are living in this type of situation. That is what he calls you to, ladies, who are living in a situation with a believing husband.

Guys, we should also appeal to being more like Jesus in our heart, looking more like Christ. And single ladies, this is what you are looking for. This is what you need to be. This is what you need to desire for yourself.

You are looking for a man that resembles the heart of God. You're not looking for Mr. Right. You're certainly not looking for Mr. Right now. You are looking for a man that reflects the heart of God.

Because that evil, unbelieving man, he's going to try and manipulate you to turn you away from what you... he's going to... well, here's the thing. We'll mention it again later. Every man loves to be worshiped. Loves to be worshiped.

I would love for you to worship me. I would love for you to just cater to everything—my whims, everything. Just worship me. That would be amazing.

Every man wants to be your idol. Ladies, when you commit to the heart of God, you can see that foolishness a mile away. And that is not where you want to go.

But ladies, if you have found yourself in that situation, you stick with the heart of God—not with the adornment of the world, but what's on the inside of our hearts.

Verse four says that this is a... you'll have a quiet spirit. And then look down at verse six for a moment. In verse six, we see that just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, you have become her children when you do what is good.

And here it is: do not fear any intimidation. How does one have a quiet spirit and a fearless heart? How does that happen? It hinges right there in verse five.

"For in the past, the holy women who put their hope in God." Ladies, your hope is in God. When your hope is in God, you will live a fearless life, and that will result in a quiet confidence in your life.

And that is powerful. That is powerful. Hoping in God makes you fearless and allows you to be tranquil and gentle in the face of very difficult circumstances.

That is powerful. That is absolutely powerful. Because your prayer, then, your prayer is found in First Peter 3:15. So flip over to 3:15. This is what you're hoping is going to happen.

In First Peter 3:15, Peter says, "But in your hearts, regard Christ the Lord as holy, ready at any time to give a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you."

The hope that is in you. So you, we are hoping in God, and our prayer is that there will be those who ask us, "What is this hope? What is this hope?"

Could it be that your unbelieving husband might look at you and say, "You are so different than every woman I know. You are so different than every woman I know who is anxious and worried. Every woman I know is trying to keep up with the trends and the fashions and all the things in this world. You seem to be meek and mild and gentle. You're so different. You're not shaken by anything. You're not afraid of anything. You're the most courageous woman I know."

And what if, and your prayer should be, "Can you tell me what you are hoping in? Where do you get your hope?"

And then according to First Peter 3:15, you're ready to give a reason for the hope. The hope is that you are following Jesus, and you're modeling after Jesus. Jesus is not only your illustration, but he was your substitution, and you're walking with Jesus—Jesus alone.

He is making your heart more and more like his heart. Jesus looks at that heart and finds great joy, value, and beauty in that heart. When all the rest of the women around that man are not looking like Jesus, this is a radical step away.

This is counter-cultural to anything that he might be experiencing outside of that home. And isn't that... I'll tell you right now, there is not a man worth his soul right here that wouldn't want to be with a woman like that.

There's not. You are an absolute fool, man, if you don't want your wife to be like that. Men, if you're not honoring and loving them, you're just a fool.

I remember I had the text, Sherry, this morning. Do I have this right? Am I remembering this correctly? And she corrected me lovingly.

But I do remember when we were dating, and single ladies, you got to hear me. I remember when we were dating, and we had gone on our first date. It was at Red Lobster—big spender!

After our date, we're sitting outside of her house, her apartment. We're both in our 20s, and we're just talking. I reached in to give her a little goodnight kiss, and she said no.

I never had that experience before. No. And then she said, "I'd like to get to know each other first." I said, "Okay, I like that." That just takes all the pressure away.

It's so good. In that moment, she was different than every woman I'd ever known. She was afraid that I would think she was strange. I was like, "That's the strange I want. That's the strange."

That is so different because her heart turned to Jesus, not to some idiot 20-year-old boy who can shave. She thought it would be strange.

I told her this morning via text message, "I didn't think it was strange. My friends thought it was strange, especially the girl that I worked with at this place. She's telling me that was strange."

She was basically saying, "I'll kiss you right now, right here in the supply room." And her heart didn't look like Sherry's heart.

This is not bragging on her, but it is. Her heart turned to Jesus, not to some boy. So that is what's happening here. You're living a life that is very different than the culture.

You're not focused on the outward appearance, although obviously, it's okay. He's not saying don't focus on it or don't do what's necessary or what have you, but just don't make that the entire focus of your life.

Don't do that, but make Jesus the entire focus to change your heart. Look at verse five very quickly.

"Before, in the past, the holy women who put their hope in God also adorned themselves in this way." Adorned themselves. The word "adorned" is the word that you and I would have as "cosmos."

It's the ordering of the universe. So he says, "Make this the order of your lives. Make this how you put things in perspective and keep the perspective on the heart of God, following him."

Make this the order, the cosmos, the order of the universe of your life. So Peter's appeal then is to holiness, not worldliness. Holiness is being set apart for God.

Holiness is being set apart. In verse six, then we see as we read through verse six, "Just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, you have become her children when you do what is good and do not fear any intimidation."

What does it mean that you are her children? You are part of the covenant. Ladies, you are in the covenant as a follower of Jesus. You have been brought into this beautiful covenant between God and his people.

You are in that covenant, so live in this way. It looks like this.

Let's have several slides up on the screen. It's going to look like this. So we're going to hope in God. Here we go. We're going to hope in God, not husbands.

Not husbands. That's going to lead you to holiness, which is just simply saying, "I belong to God." So my hope is in God.

Next slide. That is going to, again, in verse six, give me this courage. I have courage. I'm bold as a lion. Ladies, you're bold as a lion. You're not afraid of anything.

That man or any situation can come against you because you're hoping in God, and you're bold as a lion. That is going to lead you to full of good deeds.

Full of good deeds. That husband is going to see you serving. That husband is going to see you loving people. You're not sitting around. You're not sitting in the house doing nothing.

You are out and about, and you are loving Jesus, and you are sharing the gospel, and you are living a good and beautiful life. He is seeing that. That's full of good deeds, which is going to lead us to the next one, which leads to submission.

Submitting. Submitting too. That's how all of this flows together. That's how all of this flows.

A good definition, I think—it's not on the screen—but one scholar said it this way: "Submission is the divine calling of a wife to joyfully and fearlessly honor and affirm her husband's leadership and to help carry it through according to her gifts."

What is on the screen? Never mind. It is on the screen. Why illustrate Sarah's obedience? Sarah and Abraham, Old Testament, Genesis. God calls Abraham. He follows. Sarah goes along. The family goes along. A nephew named Lot goes along. Following God.

There's a famine that happens, and Abraham makes a decision. He goes against what God wants him to do. He makes a decision to go to Egypt. When Abraham gets to Egypt, he's afraid of Pharaoh.

Some of you are familiar with Bible study. You remember this. He tells Sarah, "How about we just tell everybody that you're my sister?" He basically puts his wife into the harem of Pharaoh.

Is that what this means? Not at all. Not at all. There's only one place where Sarah calls him Lord. Every man in here is like, "All right, here we go. Well, I'm Lord."

It's only one place. It's in Genesis 18. In Genesis 18, they are told that they are going to have a child. In Genesis 18, verses 11 and 12, Abraham and Sarah were old and getting on in years.

Sarah had passed the age of childbearing. Verse 12 says, "So she laughed to herself. After I am worn out and my Lord is old, will I have a child?"

After I'm worn out and my Lord is old, Sarah's beautiful submission to God led her to have a heart that is honoring and respectful of her husband that she would say it in a culturally appropriate way: "My Lord."

So what this is telling us, ladies, is that your beautiful adornment of God's mercy and grace in your heart, becoming more and more like him, is going to just create this inside of you a natural, godly honor and respect for your husband.

God has definitely ordained things in such a certain way that there is a pattern that he's put together that we see reflected throughout scripture.

It really comes down to the idea that husbands, you are leading, and you are loving your wives, and you are both submitting to each other and to the Lord. But there's a natural outflow of respect and love.

Her default heart is to speak respectfully to her husband. So my Lord.

So then what do we have? We have hope in God, which leads to holiness, which leads to fearlessness and good deeds and respect.

So on the screen, we're going to have—let's go back to First Peter 2:9 as we wrap things up. In First Peter 2:9, I want you to see how this could play out then.

The parentheses are just words that I added in there in light of the context of all of this. So First Peter 2:9 says, "But you, believing wives, are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his possession, so that you, believing wives, may proclaim the praises of the one who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light."

Let's go on. Dear friends, down to verse 11, "Believing wives, I urge you as strangers and exiles in this world and in your marriage to abstain from sinful desires that wage war against your soul—like trying to nag your unbelieving husband into the kingdom and manipulate him like the world. Conduct yourselves honorably among the Gentiles, your unbelieving husband, so that when they, your unbelieving husband, slander you, believing wives, as evildoers, they, your unbelieving husband, will observe your, believing wives, good works, which are you living out God's praises and will glorify God on the day he visits," which is basically turning from his sin and trusting Jesus as his savior.

Put it all into context. That's what he's saying.

Several bullet points at the end. Submission is not... Here we go on the screen. Submission is not agreeing on all important matters.

How do we know that? Because she does not agree with his unbelief. Submission is not agreeing with all important matters because she does not agree with his unbelief.

It is not leaving, ladies. It is not leaving your brain at the altar. Because Peter is writing to these wives in a way that they have to process this and think through this and work through this.

It is not avoiding the effort to change her husband. Her whole life is devoted to changing him in the most important way: follow Christ.

It is not putting the will of the husband ahead of the will of Jesus. Submission—she is not getting all her spiritual strength through her husband. She hopes only in God and fears only God.

It is not acting in fear. She has God-dependent meekness and fearless courage. God-dependent meekness, fearless courage. That is so beautiful.

It is so beautiful. Our prayer, Lord willing, is that the unbelieving husband would see that and say, "You are so different. You are so different. Where do you get your hope?"

Then you point to the gospel again because God is working on his heart. God is working on his heart.

So we remember this: serve only God. Serve only God. Submit to your husband. Show honor and respect. And hope that one day he will surrender to your Savior, the one who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

That is our hope, and that is our prayer.

So how do we draw it to a conclusion? Well, one, men, are there any men in the room that you would say, "I am that unbelieving husband. I know I got a really good and godly wife, and I want to know more about that."

So men, surrender to Jesus today. Could it be in the room that there are some ladies who have fallen into the trap of outward appearance and trying to woo and manipulate or fall into the trap of just nagging, nagging, nagging, nagging?

Is that the case?

Let's pray.

Father, you are so good to us, and you love us, and your mercy is more than we could ever imagine or deserve. God, you are good and gracious, and you have called us into a relationship with you to walk faithfully and humbly with you.

Father, you've called us to be like you.