Zion Church | Home Work Pt. 2 | Pastor Keith Battle

Paul places the whole house under the lordship of Christ and lets every person hear his or her own assignment. Colossians 3 does not start with everybody fixing everybody else. The text presses a prayer into the heart of the home: “Work on me.” The call recognizes that difficult relationships require a higher version of a person, a more loving, kind, compassionate, and understanding version, because the people in the house can trigger what still needs healing.

Verse 18 tells wives to “be subject” to their husbands, but the word hupo tasso does not mean a wife is a slave, a servant, or a child. Paul tells children and servants to obey, but he tells a wife to arrange herself under her husband. The grammar matters. Hupo tasso comes in the middle voice, so the action is voluntary, personal, and chosen. God speaks to his daughters, not to husbands trying to enforce authority. The point is order, not value. Male and female both bear the image of God.

The Godhead itself shows that submission does not mean inferiority. The Son submits to the Father, and the Spirit glorifies the Son, while Father, Son, and Spirit remain equally divine, equally eternal, and equally God. Jesus wrestled in Gethsemane, but he did not pick up his bowl and go home. Authority, then, must be carried with humility. Any person who throws weight around may need that weight taken away.

Paul also calls husbands to love their wives and not be bitter toward them. Agape keeps a man out of Bitterville. A husband who feels like too much is on him is called to stop keeping score and carry the Kobe mentality: get 40, ice up, rest up, and get 40 tomorrow. The love demanded from husbands is not a mood, not romance, and not a bargain. It is unconditional love that seeks the best of the wife.

Titus 2 adds that wives are called to be fond of their own husbands, to hold them in high regard, and not give more honor to fathers, bosses, or church leaders than to the man at home. The word of God is on the line in the marriage. Paul starts with husband and wife before children because everything in the home starts with the marriage. A wedding can have a plan, a proposal can have a plan, but the marriage will wither without one. Like a plant, the marriage looks like how it is treated.

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Key Takeaways

• 1. Work on me comes first The home changes when the prayer stops being “fix them” and becomes “work on me.” The hardest relationships reveal the parts of a person that are not yet patient, healed, humble, or strong enough for covenant. The trigger in the house can become an altar if it sends the heart back to God instead of into control, blame, or revenge. [04:19]
• 2. Submission is chosen, not seized Hupo tasso is not a weapon for a husband to swing. The wife’s arrangement under order is voluntary, not forced, and it rests on her dignity as an equal partner before God. Authority that must be grabbed, demanded, or performed has already lost the spirit of Christlike order. [09:56]
• 3. Agape refuses to keep score A husband’s love is tested when the weight feels uneven and the flesh wants to count who did the most. Agape does not reduce marriage to a scoreboard, because covenant sometimes calls a person to carry more without becoming bitter. The “Kobe” picture names a mature strength that accepts responsibility without self-pity. [22:23]
• 4. Respect belongs at home first Titus 2 will not let a wife honor every other man’s voice while dismissing her own husband. The issue is not blind agreement, but the spiritual danger of giving admiration everywhere except the covenant. A marriage can be quietly dishonored when public respect and private contempt live in the same heart. [34:22]
• 5. Marriage looks how it’s treated A plant does not need to explain neglect, because its condition tells the story. Marriage carries the same witness. A covenant cannot thrive on wedding memories, proposal creativity, or early momentum if daily care, planning, and tenderness are missing.
  
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Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [02:40] - Colossians 3 and Work on Me
• [04:19] - A Higher Version for Hard Relationships
• [05:43] - Wives and Hupo Tasso
• [07:14] - Equal Partner, Not Slave or Child
• [09:03] - The Middle Voice of Submission
• [11:24] - Order Inside the Godhead
• [14:17] - Authority Must Carry Humility
• [15:15] - Singles Need Accountable People
• [17:31] - Husbands Must Honor Their Wives
• [19:12] - Love Keeps Bitterness Away
• [20:48] - The Kobe Mentality in Marriage
• [24:00] - The Many Loves in Marriage
• [35:23] - Marriage Comes Before Parenting
• [45:49] - Prayer for Marriages

1. In Colossians 3:18-19, what two commands are given to wives, and what two commands are given to husbands?
2. What difference is pointed out between the words used for a wife and for children or servants, especially the difference between being “subject” and “obey”? [06:34]
3. According to 1 Peter 3:7, what are husbands told to do, and what warning is attached to the way they treat their wives? [18:26]
4. In Titus 2:4-5, what are younger women encouraged to do, and what reason is given at the end of the passage for why this matters? [35:00]

1. If “be subject” is described as a voluntary, personal choice rather than something forced, how does that shape the way Colossians 3:18 should be understood inside marriage? [09:56]
2. If husband and wife are equal partners and both bear God’s image, what does that suggest about the difference between order and value in marriage? [13:05]
3. Colossians 3:19 connects loving a wife with refusing bitterness. Why might love be the very thing that keeps resentment from taking root in a husband’s heart? [19:22]
4. Titus 2 says the word of God is on the line in the marriage. In what ways can private patterns inside a home either honor or quietly dishonor God’s word? [35:00]

1. “Work on me” is a better starting prayer than “fix them.” In the closest relationships at home, what usually triggers the worst in the heart right now? What would it look like this week to bring that to God first instead of reacting out of frustration? [05:20]
2. Difficult relationships require a higher version of a person. Where is growth most needed right now—patience, kindness, compassion, humility, self-control, or the ability to listen well? [04:34]
3. Submission is chosen, not seized. For those who are married, where might control, pressure, or defensiveness be getting in the way of peace and godly order in the home? For those who are single, what would healthy respect for authority look like in a future relationship? [15:24]
4. A wife is not called to act like a child, servant, or slave. Where might there be a need for clearer, more honest conversation in marriage about concerns, lack of peace, or disagreement? How can that be done with both courage and respect? [07:14]
5. Husbands are called to agape love and not keep score. Where has scorekeeping started to creep in—chores, parenting, money, affection, effort, or emotional load? What would it look like to choose love over resentment in that exact area this week? [22:31]
6. Respect belongs at home first. Is it easier right now to honor bosses, leaders, pastors, friends, or parents than to show honor inside the covenant at home? If so, what might need to change in tone, speech, or attitude? [34:22]
7. Marriage looks like how it is treated. If the marriage were compared to a plant, what would its condition reveal right now? What kind of daily or weekly care would help it become healthier—time together, planning, tenderness, repentance, counseling, or honest conversation? [44:26]