Why Are You Bothering This Woman?

Matthew places Jesus at a meal in Bethany, in the house of Simon the leper, when an unnamed woman comes carrying an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume. The woman breaks open what may have been everything she had saved and pours it on Jesus’ head. The disciples see waste, poor stewardship, bad timing, and something that simply is not their style. Jesus sees “a beautiful thing” done for him.

Jesus’ question, “Why are you bothering this woman?” exposes more than concern for the poor. The disciples are indignant because her act does not fit their expectations, threatens their place at the center, and cannot be measured by ordinary logic. Jesus declares that her love is not pointless waste because she is preparing his body for burial. The woman anoints the Messiah without saying a word, and her wholehearted devotion proclaims what others in the room have only partly understood.

Love in this story does not first calculate the cost. Love sacrifices, does something out of the ordinary, and gives itself without needing to control the outcome. The alabaster jar becomes an image of a life poured out for Christ. Jesus himself becomes like the broken jar and poured-out perfume as he goes to the cross for the sins of the world.

David’s dancing before the ark gives the same picture. David worships with all his might because the presence of God is returning to his people, while Michal looks on with contempt. The contrast stands sharp: Michal and the disciples judge devotion by dignity, order, and appearance, but David and the woman respond to God’s grace with costly joy.

The love of Christ calls for more than correct works and busy ministry. Revelation warns the church in Ephesus that it can do many things well while losing its first love. Ministry done from duty, guilt, pressure, or reputation is less than the best. Love for Christ must be the foundation, because Christ has loved, saved, and changed sinners.

Mission also grows from this love. The world may call it crazy when someone gives, prays, goes, uproots a family, leaves comfort, or obeys God’s call. Jesus still asks, “Why are you bothering this woman?” The unnamed woman shows that status, position, and public recognition do not matter. Christ remembers the devotion of those who break open what they cling to and offer it to him. The question remains: what alabaster jar is being held too tightly, and what would it mean to break it open for Jesus?

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Key Takeaways

• 1. Jesus calls costly love beautiful [15:06] Jesus does not deny that caring for the poor matters, but he refuses to let good works become an excuse for cold hearts. The woman’s act is beautiful because it is directed toward Christ himself. Love for Jesus is not opposed to wisdom, but it cannot always be reduced to calculations of efficiency. [15:06]
• 2. First love must fuel ministry [23:14] Ministry can be carried out from duty, guilt, pressure, or the need to be seen as useful. Christ calls his people back to a deeper source: love and devotion for him. Service becomes dry when it is detached from the grace that first changed the servant. [23:14]
• 3. Mission can look like waste [24:02] The world often sees calling, sacrifice, and obedience as foolish because it measures life by comfort, security, and future plans. Love for Christ gives a different measure. Those touched by his love desire to share that love even when others cannot understand the cost. [24:02]
• 4. Break open the idols of security [34:17] Good gifts can quietly become idols when they are held as the source of safety and comfort. The alabaster jar represents whatever a heart cannot imagine surrendering. Christ calls for worship that loves the Giver more than the gifts he gives.
  
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Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [08:30] - Why Are You Bothering This Woman?
• [09:50] - The Woman and the Alabaster Jar
• [11:35] - The Disciples Call It Waste
• [15:06] - A Beautiful Thing for Jesus
• [16:36] - Love That Sacrifices
• [18:11] - David Dancing Before the Lord
• [20:10] - Wholehearted Devotion to Christ
• [22:37] - Return to Your First Love
• [24:02] - Love as the Foundation of Mission
• [26:20] - The Nameless Are Remembered
• [27:16] - Selflessness and Hidden Giving
• [33:32] - What Is Your Alabaster Jar?
• [34:02] - Prayer for Renewed Devotion

Bible Reading

Matthew 26:6-13
“While Jesus was in Bethany in the home of Simon the Leper, a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table. When the disciples saw this, they were indignant. 'Why this waste?' they asked. 'This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor.' Aware of this, Jesus said to them, 'Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me. When she poured this perfume on my body, she did it to prepare me for burial. Truly I tell you, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.” [09:37]

Revelation 2:4-5
“Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.” [22:47]

2 Samuel 6:12-16, 20-22
“Now King David was told, 'The LORD has blessed the household of Obed-Edom and everything he has, because of the ark of God.' So David went to bring up the ark of God from the house of Obed-Edom to the City of David with rejoicing. When those who were carrying the ark of the LORD had taken six steps, he sacrificed a bull and a fattened calf. Wearing a linen ephod, David was dancing before the LORD with all his might, while he and all Israel were bringing up the ark of the LORD with shouts and the sound of trumpets. As the ark of the LORD was entering the City of David, Michal daughter of Saul watched from a window. And when she saw King David leaping and dancing before the LORD, she despised him in her heart... When David returned home to bless his household, Michal daughter of Saul came out to meet him and said, 'How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, going around half-naked in full view of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!' David said to Michal, 'It was before the LORD, who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the LORD’s people Israel—I will celebrate before the LORD. I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. But by these slave girls you spoke of, I will be held in honor.” [18:25]

Observation questions

1. In Matthew 26:6–13, what details show the contrast between the woman’s action, the disciples’ reaction, and Jesus’ response? [15:24]
2. What reasons do the disciples give for calling the perfume a waste, and what does Jesus say the woman’s act has accomplished? [13:36]
3. In 2 Samuel 6, how do David and Michal respond differently to the ark of God returning to Jerusalem? [18:48]
4. What does Jesus commend about the church in Ephesus in Revelation 2, and what serious problem does he identify? [22:47]

Interpretation questions

1. Jesus does not reject care for the poor, yet he calls the woman’s costly act “beautiful.” What does this reveal about the place of personal love for Christ alongside good works and wise stewardship? [15:28]
2. The woman speaks no words in Matthew’s account, yet her action points to Jesus as the Messiah and prepares him for burial. How can acts of worship and sacrifice proclaim faith clearly without drawing attention to the person giving? [16:08]
3. David’s joyful worship and the woman’s costly devotion were both criticized by others. Why can wholehearted worship sometimes make people uncomfortable, even among God’s people? [20:05]
4. The Ephesian church had strong works but had left its first love. What are some signs that Christian service is being driven more by duty, guilt, pressure, or reputation than by love for Jesus? [23:14]

Application questions

1. What “alabaster jar” might you be holding tightly for security or comfort—money, plans, career, family expectations, reputation, control, or something else? What makes it difficult to place it fully before Jesus? [34:23]
2. Think about the ways you serve at church, at home, or in the community. What usually motivates your service, and where might Jesus be inviting you to return to love as the foundation? [23:18]
3. Has there been a time when you judged someone’s generosity, calling, worship, or obedience as unwise because it did not fit your expectations? What might it look like to respond with greater humility and encouragement? [24:07]
4. What is one specific act of costly devotion you sense God may be inviting you to consider this week—giving, praying, serving quietly, forgiving, sharing the gospel, or helping someone in need? What would be a faithful first step? [33:35]
5. Where has your love for Christ become routine or dry? What practical habit could help you remember the grace of Jesus and renew your first love this week? [22:47]
6. How can this group support people who sense a call to give, pray, go, or make sacrifices for God’s mission rather than becoming another voice asking, “Why this waste?” [24:47]