What's Love Got To Do With It? • Ps Scott & Amanda Thornton • Church Online: 04 October 2026

Christ centered parenting begins with a big difference between raising good Christian kids and raising children who are genuinely pointed towards Jesus. Deuteronomy 6 puts the Lord alone at the centre, then starts with the parent’s heart before it ever gets to the child’s heart. Christ centered parenting is not a technique for producing well behaved kids. It is a discipleship posture that asks whether children are seeing Jesus, knowing Jesus, trusting Jesus, and ultimately choosing Jesus for themselves.

The first call is to show them Jesus, because a parent’s life is their first lesson. Authentic faith matters more than perfect parenting, because children watch how faith works when frustration hits, when prayer feels unanswered, when someone gets it wrong, and when church is inconvenient. Faith that is in the heart gets into the home. A parent cannot delegate that example to church, youth leaders, friends, or anybody else.

The second call is to shape children towards Jesus by making faith part of everyday life. Deuteronomy 6 pictures conversations at home, on the road, at bedtime, and in the morning. Faith is formed in the gaps: between school and home, success and failure, questions and answers, mistakes and consequences. Regular small conversations beat occasional lectures every time. A parent’s own God story gives children more than beliefs to repeat; it creates a pathway for them to see how God has met a real person in struggle, doubt, prayer, worship, and change.

The third call is to guide children in the ways of Jesus through loving limits. Boundaries and consequences are not rejection; they are protection. A fence around a field tells a child that somebody trustworthy has looked at the danger and made room for freedom inside safety. Discipline must not grow out of anger, embarrassment, or a reaction against an unhealthy upbringing. Discipline and instruction from the Lord aim at realignment, helping a child become more like Jesus rather than merely making them pay.

The invitation is not guilt over what sits behind. Holy Spirit brings conviction that creates a different pathway from this moment on. Christ centered influence calls parents, spiritual mums and dads, leaders, coaches, and teachers to show Jesus, shape everyday moments towards Jesus, and guide people with a love that prepares them for a future with Jesus at the centre.

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Key Takeaways

• 1. Authenticity outweighs parental perfection
  Christ centered influence does not require a flawless life. Authentic repentance, real prayer, and a visible pursuit of Jesus give children a pattern for working out their own salvation. A parent’s healing scars can become a living example of God’s love and power to change a life. [09:57]
• 2. Faith grows in everyday gaps
  Faith is not limited to formal family moments or carefully prepared lectures. Questions in the car, disappointment after school, and bedtime conversations can become holy ground when Jesus is brought into the picture. Presence helps a parent notice, connect, and point rather than merely correct. [19:57]
• 3. Personal God stories create pathways
  Biblical stories matter, but a child also needs to hear how God has worked in the life right in front of them. Honest stories about doubt, struggle, prayer, and God showing up make faith tangible. A lived story gives a child room to believe that Jesus can meet them too. [23:22]
• 4. Boundaries make love visible
  Loving limits do not exist to control a child or protect a parent’s image. Healthy consequences reveal that choices carry weight and that God’s way leads toward life. Discipline finds its right goal when it seeks realignment and formation into the likeness of Jesus. [25:29]

Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [00:50] - Parenting and Spiritual Influence
• [02:22] - Ouch Moments Are an Invitation
• [05:03] - God’s Picture for Raising Children
• [07:49] - Christian or Christ Centered
• [08:53] - Show Them Jesus
• [18:13] - Shape Everyday Faith
• [24:39] - Recognize Discipleship Moments
• [25:29] - Guide Them Through Limits
• [32:01] - Show, Shape, and Guide
• [34:13] - A Prayer for Christ Centered Influence

Bible Reading

Deuteronomy 6:4-9
“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” [06:35]

Ephesians 6:4
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” [27:15]

Philippians 2:12
“Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling,” [10:21]

Observation questions

1. In Deuteronomy 6:4–9, what is placed first: the parent’s own love and commitment to God, or instruction given to children? [09:17]
2. What ordinary settings does Deuteronomy 6 identify as opportunities to speak about God with children?
3. According to Philippians 2:12, what does it mean for each person to work out their own salvation, rather than simply borrow someone else’s faith? [10:21]
4. In Ephesians 6:4, what two elements are meant to shape a child’s growth, and what approach is specifically warned against? [27:15]

Interpretation questions

1. Why does a Christ-centred home need more than well-behaved, kind, and responsible children? What is different about helping a child see, know, trust, and choose Jesus for themselves? [07:36]
2. How does a parent or spiritual influencer’s honest repentance after getting something wrong help a child understand the gospel and grow in responsibility? [31:32]
3. Deuteronomy 6 describes faith being spoken about throughout normal life. Why are small, ongoing conversations often more effective than occasional big lectures? [18:39]
4. Ephesians 6:4 connects discipline with instruction from the Lord. How does this change the purpose of consequences from simply making a child pay to helping them realign with God’s ways? [29:57]

Application questions

1. If the children or people you influence described your relationship with Jesus based on what they see—not only what you say—what might they say? Is there one gap between your words and example that God may be inviting you to close? [17:19]
2. Think about how you respond when you are frustrated, disappointed, tired, or wrong. What would authentic faith look like in one of those pressure points this week? [11:41]
3. What everyday “gap” could become a discipleship moment in your home or relationships this week—perhaps a car ride, bedtime, disappointment, conflict, success, or mistake? How could you notice, connect, and point that moment toward Jesus? [22:04]
4. What part of your own God story could you share appropriately with a child, younger believer, friend, or someone you lead? This could include a struggle, a prayer, a doubt, a change God has made, or a time God met you. [23:22]
5. Are there limits or consequences in your home or leadership that are being shaped more by anger, embarrassment, fear, or past experiences than by love? What would a boundary that protects and guides toward Jesus look like instead? [25:29]
6. When you get an interaction, correction, or consequence wrong, how could a sincere apology help create a new pathway for the person you influence? Is there someone you need to apologise to or reconnect with? [31:41]