Walking Wisely: Reflecting Christ in Marriage
Summary
### Summary
Today, we delved into Ephesians 5, focusing on the importance of walking wisely and redeeming the time because the days are evil. We explored the significance of being filled with the Spirit and how this impacts our relationships, particularly in marriage. The essence of a good marriage is rooted in the relationship between Christ and the Church, which serves as a model for marital relationships. We discussed the necessity of mutual submission and love, emphasizing that a marriage cannot thrive unless both partners are saved, submitted, and Spirit-controlled.
We examined the roles of husbands and wives, highlighting that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the Church, and wives are to respect their husbands. This mutual respect and love are not just about fulfilling roles but about reflecting our relationship with God. We also touched on the practical aspects of marriage, such as communication, prayer, and maturity, and how these elements contribute to a healthy and God-honoring relationship.
The sermon also addressed the challenges that arise when one or both partners are not submitted to God, leading to friction and conflict. We discussed the importance of being Spirit-controlled in thought, word, and deed, and how this submission to God can transform our marriages and, by extension, our church relationships. The ultimate goal is to have marriages that reflect the love and unity between Christ and the Church, thereby serving as a testimony to the world.
### Key Takeaways
1. Redeeming the Time: The days are evil, and our time is limited. We must walk wisely, making the most of every opportunity to serve God and build strong relationships. This urgency applies to all aspects of life, including our marriages, where we should strive to reflect Christ's love and wisdom. [18:32]
2. Mutual Submission: Ephesians 5 calls for mutual submission out of reverence for Christ. This means that both husbands and wives should be Spirit-controlled, putting each other's needs above their own. This mutual submission fosters a loving and respectful environment that mirrors our relationship with God. [21:32]
3. Spirit-Controlled Living: Being filled with the Spirit is essential for a healthy marriage. This involves daily submission to God, allowing the Holy Spirit to guide our thoughts, words, and actions. A Spirit-controlled person is patient, kind, and selfless, qualities that are crucial for a thriving marriage. [30:57]
4. Communication and Prayer: Effective communication and prayer are foundational to a strong marriage. Couples should pray for each other and together, seeking God's guidance in their relationship. Open and honest communication helps resolve conflicts and strengthens the bond between spouses. [51:06]
5. Reflecting Christ's Love: Our marriages should reflect the sacrificial love of Christ for the Church. Husbands are called to love their wives selflessly, and wives are to respect their husbands. This Christ-like love and respect create a harmonious and God-honoring marriage that serves as a testimony to others. [39:03]
### YouTube Chapters
[0:00] - Welcome
[11:37] - Announcements
[18:00] - Introduction to Ephesians 5
[18:32] - Redeeming the Time
[19:08] - Understanding God's Will
[21:32] - Mutual Submission
[23:00] - Marriage Reflects Our Relationship with God
[24:20] - Importance of Being Right with God
[25:10] - The Marriage Triangle
[27:19] - Walking Circumspectly
[30:57] - Spirit-Controlled Living
[34:49] - Submission in Marriage
[39:03] - Reflecting Christ's Love
[44:59] - The Command to Be Spirit-Controlled
[51:06] - Keys to a Godly Marriage
[56:13] - Importance of Marriage in Reflecting Christ
[01:11:29] - Closing Prayer
Study Guide
### Bible Study Discussion Guide
#### Bible Reading
- Ephesians 5:15-33
#### Observation Questions
1. What does Ephesians 5:15-16 mean when it instructs us to "walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil"? How does this relate to our daily lives? [18:32]
2. According to Ephesians 5:18, what does it mean to be "filled with the Spirit"? How is this contrasted with being "drunk with wine"? [19:08]
3. In Ephesians 5:21-22, what is the significance of mutual submission in marriage? How does this reflect our relationship with Christ? [21:32]
4. How does Ephesians 5:25-27 describe the way husbands should love their wives? What is the model for this love? [39:03]
#### Interpretation Questions
1. How does the concept of "redeeming the time" in Ephesians 5:16 apply to the urgency of living a Spirit-filled life, especially in the context of marriage? [18:32]
2. What are the practical implications of being "filled with the Spirit" in our daily interactions with our spouse and others? How can this transform our relationships? [30:57]
3. How does mutual submission out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21) create a foundation for a healthy marriage? What challenges might arise if one partner is not submitted to God? [21:32]
4. Reflecting on Ephesians 5:25-27, how can husbands practically demonstrate Christ-like love to their wives? What are some specific actions that embody this sacrificial love? [39:03]
#### Application Questions
1. In what ways can you "redeem the time" in your marriage or relationships, making the most of every opportunity to reflect Christ's love and wisdom? What specific changes can you make this week? [18:32]
2. How can you ensure that you are being "filled with the Spirit" daily? What practices or habits can you incorporate into your routine to help you stay Spirit-controlled? [30:57]
3. Think about a recent conflict or disagreement in your marriage or a close relationship. How could mutual submission and a Spirit-controlled response have changed the outcome? What steps can you take to apply this principle in future conflicts? [21:32]
4. Husbands, what are some specific ways you can love your wife as Christ loved the Church this week? Wives, how can you show respect and honor to your husband in a way that reflects your reverence for Christ? [39:03]
5. How can effective communication and prayer strengthen your marriage or relationships? What are some practical steps you can take to improve in these areas? [51:06]
6. Reflect on your current relationship with God. Are there areas where you need to submit more fully to Him? How might this submission impact your marriage or relationships? [24:20]
7. Identify one area in your marriage or a close relationship where you see room for growth. What specific actions can you take this week to foster a more loving, respectful, and Spirit-controlled environment? [35:24]
Devotional
Day 1: Making the Most of Every Opportunity
Description: In Ephesians 5, we are reminded of the urgency to redeem the time because the days are evil. This means that our time on earth is limited and filled with challenges that can distract us from our purpose. Walking wisely involves being intentional about how we spend our time, ensuring that we prioritize our relationship with God and our loved ones. In the context of marriage, this means making a conscious effort to invest in our spouse and our relationship, reflecting Christ's love and wisdom in all that we do. [18:32]
Ephesians 5:15-16 (ESV): "Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil."
Reflection: Think about your daily routine. What is one specific way you can better prioritize your time to invest in your relationship with your spouse or a loved one today?
Day 2: Embracing Mutual Submission
Description: Ephesians 5 calls for mutual submission out of reverence for Christ. This means that both husbands and wives should be Spirit-controlled, putting each other's needs above their own. Mutual submission fosters a loving and respectful environment that mirrors our relationship with God. It is not about one partner dominating the other but about both partners serving each other selflessly. This kind of submission requires humility and a willingness to prioritize the well-being of the other person, creating a harmonious and God-honoring marriage. [21:32]
Ephesians 5:21 (ESV): "Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ."
Reflection: Reflect on a recent disagreement or conflict with your spouse or a loved one. How can you practice mutual submission in this situation to foster a more loving and respectful relationship?
Day 3: Living a Spirit-Controlled Life
Description: Being filled with the Spirit is essential for a healthy marriage. This involves daily submission to God, allowing the Holy Spirit to guide our thoughts, words, and actions. A Spirit-controlled person exhibits qualities such as patience, kindness, and selflessness, which are crucial for a thriving marriage. When both partners are Spirit-controlled, they are better equipped to handle challenges and conflicts in a way that honors God and strengthens their relationship. This kind of living requires intentionality and a commitment to seeking God's guidance in all aspects of life. [30:57]
Galatians 5:22-23 (ESV): "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."
Reflection: Identify one area in your life where you struggle to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit. How can you invite the Holy Spirit to help you grow in this area today?
Day 4: The Power of Communication and Prayer
Description: Effective communication and prayer are foundational to a strong marriage. Couples should pray for each other and together, seeking God's guidance in their relationship. Open and honest communication helps resolve conflicts and strengthens the bond between spouses. When couples make it a habit to communicate openly and pray together, they create a strong spiritual and emotional connection that can withstand challenges. This practice not only brings them closer to each other but also to God, fostering a deeper sense of unity and purpose in their marriage. [51:06]
James 5:16 (ESV): "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working."
Reflection: Think of a recent conversation with your spouse or a loved one that could have gone better. How can you improve your communication and make prayer a more integral part of your relationship?
Day 5: Reflecting Christ's Love in Marriage
Description: Our marriages should reflect the sacrificial love of Christ for the Church. Husbands are called to love their wives selflessly, and wives are to respect their husbands. This Christ-like love and respect create a harmonious and God-honoring marriage that serves as a testimony to others. When we model our relationships after Christ's love for the Church, we demonstrate the transformative power of God's love to the world. This kind of love requires sacrifice, humility, and a commitment to putting the other person's needs above our own, ultimately glorifying God through our marriages. [39:03]
Ephesians 5:25 (ESV): "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."
Reflection: Reflect on a specific way you can show Christ-like love to your spouse or a loved one today. What practical steps can you take to demonstrate this sacrificial love in your relationship?
Quotes
1. "Redeeming the time because the days are evil. The days aren't getting better. We're not going to have golden years one day where we can actually work for the Lord. It's getting worse and worse and worse. And therefore our time is getting less and less and less. And we want to take seriously the time that we have. We want to take seriously, Oh, I'm a young person. I've got time. You don't have time to be serious. Later, serious now is where we need to be." [18:32] (29 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
2. "The most important thing we want to get across, when it comes to couples, is that they will not be right, with each other, unless they're right with God. This is the most important part, is you won't be right with each other, unless you're right with God. And look, there are, I understand humanistic times, where we're getting along, and everything's going well. Can you understand, in a marriage where two unsafe people exist, there can be harmony, in some sense. I mean, you're going the same way, right?" [24:20] (29 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
3. "A Spirit-controlled person is a submitted person. If you're not submitted, you're not Spirit-controlled. And remember, just to set a foundation here in our marriage, if we are not submitted, we can't expect Ephesians 5 to characterize our marriage. We can't expect to have paradise in our homes if one or more of us, which would only be two, is not submitted. Though if I'll say this, if your children aren't submitted, you're going to have trouble too." [34:49] (31 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
4. "If a husband is right with God by being a saved, submitted, and spirit-controlled person, he will love his wife with that supernatural love that we find in 1 Corinthians 13. Spoiler alert, but you can't force 1 Corinthians 13 for very long. It comes from a heart that is submitted to God. It comes from a life that says, okay, Lord, that thought was not an appropriate thought. Forgive me for that. That word was not an appropriate word. Forgive me for that. Spouse, forgive me for that." [41:30] (30 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
5. "The counsel we give to every married couple is you will not be right with each other until you're right with God. And you're living a saved, spirit-controlled, submitted life. Are you this morning? If you think I'm done, I'm not. That's part one. The first thing we got to get under control is am I submitted to God? The most important thing your marriage needs today is two saved, submitted, spirit-controlled people before the Lord." [44:27] (30 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
6. "A spirit-controlled person is a faithful person. A spirit-controlled person is one who doesn't allow the devil a foothold in his life. The devil doesn't want you staying together. The devil doesn't want a marriage to be happy and joyous and an example of our relationship with God. Do you understand that your marriage is a reflection on you? It's a reflection on your relationship with God. Our church atmosphere is a reflection on the marriages in our church and the relationships of God with people in our church." [49:25] (30 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
7. "God designed the opposite sexes to complement each other. Today, everything about marriage is how are you compatible? But the thing about the opposite sexes is there might be weaknesses in one person's life that the other person complements. They don't complement the weakness. They make it stronger. The differences in our marriage can complete and blend two unique individuals into one. Just like in our church, we have 20, 30, 40, 100, 200, and you blend those individuals into one church group that's cohesive." [01:07:12] (36 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
8. "The daily parts and pieces of marriage do not automatically fall into place as the romantic glamour of Hollywood indicates. We can't just say, hey, Cinderella, Cinderella, night and day at Cinderella. We've got to realize that it's not that way. We have to work at this marriage. We have to work at the things of our lives. And the daily parts, loving and living with your partner takes determination, patience, and the giving of ourselves to others." [01:08:39] (27 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
9. "Marriages in many houses are nothing more but war. But they should be showing the reconciliation that Christ offers to mankind. We ought to be showing that in our marriage. Can you believe your spouse says that? Yeah, we all make mistakes. But I love her. I love him. And we're going to be okay, right? We deal with each other with grace and compassion there." [01:09:09] (27 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
10. "Let's start with this idea this morning that a marriage needs two saved, submitted, spirit-controlled people. And it takes effort. And it takes work in our lives. Got it? So it goes to you that aren't married yet. Guess what you need to be working on more than anything in your life? Submission to God. Maturing. Learning how to communicate in difficult situations. Learning how to pray to the Lord on a regular basis. Doing all these things, beginning to grow." [01:10:46] (32 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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