Walking Through the Valley of Broken Relationships

Devotional

Day 1: God’s Providence in Broken Relationships

Even in the midst of betrayal and pain, God is at work behind the scenes, weaving together a greater purpose that we may not see in the moment. Joseph’s story reminds us that what others intend for harm, God can use for good, and that our deepest wounds can become the very places where God’s redemptive plan unfolds. When we look back on our hurts and see God’s hand, we can begin to let go of bitterness and embrace forgiveness, trusting that He is able to bring about restoration and new beginnings from even the most broken situations. [37:37]

Genesis 45:4-8 (ESV)
So Joseph said to his brothers, “Come near to me, please.” And they came near. And he said, “I am your brother, Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. And now do not be distressed or angry with yourselves because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life. For the famine has been in the land these two years, and there are yet five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvest. And God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant on earth, and to keep alive for you many survivors. So it was not you who sent me here, but God. He has made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house and ruler over all the land of Egypt.”

Reflection: Can you recall a painful relationship or betrayal in your life and ask God to show you how He might have been at work through it, bringing about growth or blessing you couldn’t have imagined at the time?

Day 2: Protecting Dignity in Reconciliation

Reconciliation thrives in an environment where the other person’s dignity is protected, and healing begins when we choose privacy and mercy over public exposure and shame. Joseph’s deliberate act of clearing the room before revealing himself to his brothers shows us the importance of handling sensitive matters with discretion, refusing to air our grievances in front of others or on public platforms. When we protect the dignity of those who have hurt us, we open the door for forgiveness and create space for relationships to begin to flourish again, even after deep wounds. [34:19]

Matthew 18:15 (ESV)
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.”

Reflection: Is there a conversation you need to have with someone in private, rather than involving others or sharing your hurt publicly? What would it look like to protect their dignity as you seek reconciliation?

Day 3: Taking the Initiative to Reconcile

True reconciliation often requires us to take the first step, even when the other person hasn’t apologized or acknowledged their wrong. Joseph didn’t wait for his brothers to come to him with repentance; instead, he reached out, refusing to let pride, fear, or old wounds keep him from making things right. In the same way, God took the initiative to reconcile us to Himself through Christ, not waiting for us to make the first move. We are called to reflect that same grace, courage, and humility in our relationships, choosing to value restoration over being right. [51:52]

Romans 5:8 (ESV)
But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Reflection: Who is someone you’ve been waiting on to make the first move toward reconciliation? What is one practical step you can take this week to reach out and begin the process, regardless of their response?

Day 4: Offering Unexpected Blessings

Grace goes above and beyond what is required, offering unexpected blessings even to those who have hurt us. Joseph not only forgave his brothers but also provided for them abundantly, giving them the best land and ensuring their families would be cared for during famine. When we extend generosity and kindness to those who least expect it, we mirror the extravagant grace God has shown us, and we create opportunities for relationships to be rebuilt on a foundation of love and mercy rather than resentment. [49:05]

Genesis 45:16-20 (ESV)
When the report was heard in Pharaoh’s house, “Joseph’s brothers have come,” it pleased Pharaoh and his servants. And Pharaoh said to Joseph, “Say to your brothers, ‘Do this: load your beasts and go back to the land of Canaan, and take your father and your households, and come to me, and I will give you the best of the land of Egypt, and you shall eat the fat of the land.’ And you, Joseph, are commanded to say, ‘Do this: take wagons from the land of Egypt for your little ones and for your wives, and bring your father, and come. Have no concern for your goods, for the best of all the land of Egypt is yours.’”

Reflection: What is one tangible way you can go above and beyond to bless someone with whom you’ve had conflict, showing them unexpected grace this week?

Day 5: Choosing Forgiveness Over Bitterness

Forgiveness is not optional for followers of Jesus; it is a calling that frees us from the prison of bitterness and allows us to reflect the heart of Christ to the world. Even when reconciliation is not possible or wise, we are still called to release resentment and refuse to let hate or revenge write the final chapter of our story. By choosing forgiveness, we become ministers of reconciliation, shining the light of the gospel and demonstrating the same mercy God has shown us, even in the most difficult relationships. [40:26]

Ephesians 4:31-32 (ESV)
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Reflection: Is there someone you need to forgive today, even if reconciliation isn’t possible? What step can you take to release bitterness and pray for their good, trusting God with the outcome?

Sermon Summary

Broken relationships are some of the deepest valleys we walk through in life. There is a unique pain that comes when a relationship is severed—whether by sin, disagreement, or pride. Yet, God’s Word gives us a path toward reconciliation, even in the most complicated and painful circumstances. The story of Joseph in Genesis 45 is a powerful example of how God can redeem even the most broken of family relationships.

Joseph’s journey was marked by betrayal, injustice, and suffering. Sold into slavery by his own brothers, falsely accused, and imprisoned, Joseph endured years of hardship. Yet, through it all, God was at work, orchestrating events for a greater purpose. When famine struck, Joseph’s brothers unknowingly came to him for help, and Joseph was faced with a choice: to seek revenge or to pursue reconciliation.

Joseph’s response is instructive. He chose to protect his brothers’ dignity by making their reunion private, refusing to shame them publicly. He acknowledged the wrong done to him but reframed it in light of God’s providence, recognizing that God had used even their betrayal for a greater good. Joseph refused to play the blame game, instead choosing forgiveness over bitterness. He welcomed his brothers back into his life, offering them not just survival but the best of what he had—an extravagant grace that went far beyond what was required.

Reconciliation is not always easy or even possible in every situation, especially where there is ongoing harm or a lack of repentance. But in most cases, God calls us to take the initiative, to extend grace, and to seek restoration. This is not just a moral ideal; it is the very heart of the gospel. We are not the Josephs in the story—we are the brothers, the ones in need of forgiveness. Yet God, rich in mercy, took the initiative to reconcile us to Himself through Christ. As we approach times of family gathering and potential awkwardness, may we be ministers of reconciliation, reflecting the extravagant grace we have received.

Key Takeaways

1. Protect Dignity in Reconciliation Reconciliation thrives when we protect the dignity of those who have hurt us. Joseph cleared the room, making the moment private rather than public, showing mercy instead of seeking to shame. When we avoid airing grievances in front of others or on social media, we create space for true healing and forgiveness to take root. [30:55]
2. Reframe Hurt Through God’s Providence Joseph did not deny his pain, but he chose to see God’s hand at work in his suffering. By recognizing that God can bring good out of even the worst situations, we move from bitterness to purpose. This perspective allows us to forgive, not by minimizing the offense, but by trusting in God’s redemptive power. [37:37]
3. Take the Initiative Toward Restoration Joseph did not wait for his brothers to apologize; he made the first move. Often, we wait for the other person to come to us, but true reconciliation requires humility and courage to reach out first. This reflects the heart of the gospel, where God took the initiative to reconcile us to Himself. [51:52]
4. Offer Extravagant Grace, Not Minimum Effort Joseph didn’t just forgive; he blessed his brothers with the best land and provision. Grace goes beyond what is required, offering unexpected kindness and generosity. When we extend such grace, we mirror the lavish love God has shown us, opening doors for relationships to be rebuilt. [49:05]
5. Forgiveness Is Required, Reconciliation Is Conditional While forgiveness is a command for every believer, reconciliation depends on the willingness and repentance of both parties. In cases of abuse or ongoing harm, wisdom may require boundaries. Yet, where possible, we are called to gently reopen the door to restoration, moving beyond mere ceasefire to genuine relationship. [43:11]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[00:45] - Introduction: The Pain of Broken Relationships
[02:22] - The Power of Reunion Stories
[04:00] - Joseph’s Family Dysfunction
[07:00] - Joseph’s Betrayal and Suffering
[10:00] - Joseph’s Rise to Power
[13:00] - The Brothers’ Return to Egypt
[15:55] - Joseph’s Emotional Reunion
[18:00] - Step 1: Protecting Dignity in Reconciliation
[20:00] - Step 2: Refusing the Blame Game
[23:00] - Step 3: Welcoming Back with Love
[26:00] - Step 4: Giving Unexpected Blessings
[29:00] - Step 5: Taking the Initiative
[32:00] - The Gospel and Reconciliation
[34:00] - Prayer and Closing Worship

Bible Study Guide

Bible Reading

Genesis 45:1-15 (ESV) —
> Then Joseph could not control himself before all those who stood by him. He cried, “Make everyone go out from me.” So no one stayed with him when Joseph made himself known to his brothers. And he wept aloud, so that the Egyptians heard it, and the household of Pharaoh heard of it. And Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph! Is my father still alive?” But his brothers could not answer him, for they were dismayed at his presence. So Joseph said to his brothers, “Come near to me, please.” And they came near. And he said, “I am your brother, Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. And now do not be distressed or angry with yourselves because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life. For the famine has been in the land these two years, and there are yet five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvest. And God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant on earth, and to keep alive for you many survivors. So it was not you who sent me here, but God. He has made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house and ruler over all the land of Egypt. Hurry and go up to my father and say to him, ‘Thus says your son Joseph, God has made me lord of all Egypt. Come down to me; do not tarry. You shall dwell in the land of Goshen, and you shall be near me, you and your children and your children’s children, and your flocks, your herds, and all that you have. There I will provide for you, for there are yet five years of famine to come, so that you and your household, and all that you have, do not come to poverty.’ And now your eyes see, and the eyes of my brother Benjamin see, that it is my mouth that speaks to you. You must tell my father of all my honor in Egypt, and of all that you have seen. Hurry and bring my father down here.” Then he fell upon his brother Benjamin’s neck and wept, and Benjamin wept upon his neck. And he kissed all his brothers and wept upon them. After that his brothers talked with him.

Observation Questions

What specific steps did Joseph take to protect his brothers’ dignity when he revealed himself to them? ([30:55])
How did Joseph describe the reason for his suffering and being sold into Egypt? What words did he use to reframe the situation? ([37:37])
What did Joseph offer his brothers and their families after revealing his identity? ([49:05])
According to the sermon, what is the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation? ([43:11])

Interpretation Questions

Why do you think Joseph chose to make his reunion with his brothers a private moment instead of exposing them publicly? What does this reveal about his character and priorities? ([30:55])
Joseph said, “You sold me, but God sent me.” How does seeing God’s providence in painful situations change the way someone might respond to those who have hurt them? ([37:37])
The sermon mentioned that Joseph took the initiative to restore the relationship, even though his brothers never apologized. What does this teach about the role of humility and courage in reconciliation? ([51:52])
The pastor said that forgiveness is always required, but reconciliation is conditional. In what kinds of situations might reconciliation not be wise or possible, and why? ([43:11])

Application Questions

Think about a relationship in your life that has been strained or broken. What would it look like for you to protect the other person’s dignity if you tried to move toward reconciliation? ([30:55])
Are there any past hurts or betrayals that you keep replaying in your mind? How might reframing those experiences in light of God’s providence help you move from bitterness to purpose? ([37:37])
Have you ever waited for someone else to make the first move in restoring a relationship? What keeps you from taking the initiative, and what would it take for you to reach out first? ([51:52])
Joseph didn’t just forgive—he offered his brothers the best of what he had. Is there someone in your life you could bless with unexpected kindness or generosity, even if they don’t “deserve” it? What might that look like? ([49:05])
The sermon warned against airing grievances publicly or on social media. Have you ever been tempted to do this? What are some practical ways you can keep conflict private and create space for healing? ([30:55])
The pastor said that sometimes reconciliation is not possible, especially in cases of ongoing harm or lack of repentance. Are there boundaries you need to set in a relationship for your own safety or well-being? How can you do this with wisdom and grace? ([43:11])
The sermon reminded us that in the gospel story, we are the brothers in need of forgiveness, not the Joseph. How does remembering God’s extravagant grace toward you shape the way you approach difficult relationships? ([51:52])

Sermon Clips

Often we feel like, you know what, I need to state my case, I need to make sure everybody knows that I was the one who was wronged. That's never going to be the winning recipe for reconciling a relationship. Jesus said in Matthew 18:15, if your brother sins, go and show him his fault, look at this, in private. If he listens to you, you've won your brother. So the first step is don't publicly air your dirty laundry. [00:35:39] (29 seconds) #ChooseProvidenceOverPain

Second, don't play the blame game. Don't play the blame game. Look at verse 4: Joseph said to his brothers, please come closer to me, and they came closer, and he said, I am your brother Joseph, and now I'm going to prove it, whom you sold to Egypt. It's not somebody pretending to be Joseph, that was a detail that only he would know. Now do not be grieved or angry with yourselves because you sold me here, for God sent me ahead of you to save lives. [00:36:12] (38 seconds) #RefuseBitterness

I want you to notice something, this is important. Joseph did not sweep their behavior under the rug. He didn't pretend it didn't happen. He even doesn't pretend that it didn't hurt. He acknowledges his own hurt. You are the ones who sold me as a slave into Egypt. But notice this, he reframes everything under the providence of God. You sold me, but God sent me. [00:36:51] (35 seconds) #ForgiveFirstAlways

You see, Joseph has reached a place of looking back on his hurt when he can say good came out of the pain I endured. Forgiveness becomes possible when I look for and see the hand of God in my hurt. It's not saying the hurt's not real, and it's not like we're acting like something didn't happen, but what we're saying is that we choose providence over bitterness, we choose purpose over punishment, and we choose redemption over resentment. [00:37:43] (40 seconds) #OvercomingRevenge

If there was abuse involved, it may well not be wise to reconcile the relationship. Forgiveness is not an option. Reconciliation, but reconciliation requires all parties to come to the table, and when someone denies their culpability, when they are unrepentant, it is going to be very difficult to reconcile a relationship. So while reconciliation is not always wise or possible, what we need to do in most situations, because there are relationships that should be restored, is to reopen that door gently. [00:43:40] (47 seconds)

Here's what most of us do: we don't really reconcile relationships, we just settle for a ceasefire at grandma's at Thanksgiving. We just settle for keeping our mouths closed and enduring the three hours or four hours that we're there, and then we are set free until at least Christmas, and then we're set free until the 4th of July. That's the way a lot of our families function, or may I say dysfunction, but there's something better, and that is rebuilding a relationship. [00:44:27] (42 seconds)

They're about to receive an incredible blessing. Joseph's family is given the very best land possible to graze their flocks. They will be provided with abundant food in a time of tremendous famine all over the known world at that time. Joseph's family is going to be taken care of. You see, grace doesn't offer the minimum just to get by. Grace always offers extravagance. It goes above and beyond, and that's what we see a picture of in this moment. [00:48:13] (40 seconds)

Read the text: Joseph's brothers never asked him for forgiveness for what they did to him. They didn't. Joseph takes the initiative anyway. He refuses to let pride or fear or that old hurt keep him from making the relationship right. So here's my challenge to you: send that text, make that phone call, make it private, make it pointed, get to the point, but tell them the relationship matters than the past hurt. Take the initiative. [00:50:21] (46 seconds)

Why should you do that? Because that's the gospel. You see, in the story of the gospel, we're not Joseph, we're the brothers, we're the offending party. But God, being rich in mercy, extends grace toward us because of his love for us. Here's the way Paul put it in the book of Romans: but while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. While we were still sinners, Christ made the choice to go to a cross to pay our price. [00:51:08] (52 seconds)

To die a death we deserved and to extend to us the offer of reconciling a relationship between sinful people like us and a holy God. He became the mediator between a holy God and sinful people. He took the initiative to take your sins and mine on that cross so that we could be forgiven. If there is anything that should prompt us toward gratitude, it is that singular thought. [00:52:01] (39 seconds)

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