How To Have An Unshakable Faith In My Marriage | Unshakable | Pastor Adam Bishop

Devotional

Day 1: When Rain Reveals the Rock

Jesus told crowds to build houses on rock, not sand. Storms test foundations. Rain slams walls. Floods rise. Wind howls. Houses stand or collapse based on what’s beneath. Married couples face storms in every season—newlywed adjustments, parenting chaos, empty nest transitions. These gales don’t come because marriage is flawed, but because life in a broken world shakes what’s shaky. [29:45]

Storms expose hidden weaknesses. A marriage surviving crisis proves its bedrock. Collapse reveals sand—unspoken expectations, misplaced hopes, half-built commitments. Jesus uses storms to show couples where they’ve anchored to shifting things instead of His eternal Word.

You’ll face a storm this year. Maybe you’re in one now. Stop blaming the wind. Ask: What’s this revealing about our foundation? Write down one area where your marriage relies more on convenience than Christ.

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.”
(Matthew 7:24-25, NIV)

Prayer: Ask Jesus to show you one sandy spot in your marriage’s foundation today.
Challenge: Text your spouse: “How can I pray for us during our current storm?”

Day 2: Unspoken Rules, Unseen Cracks

Couples rarely discuss who handles holidays, finances, or laundry. They inherit silent scripts from childhood—Mom always cooked, Dad mowed Saturdays. Unconscious roles become landmines. A wife assumes her husband will lead devotions. He assumes she’ll manage in-laws. Resentment builds when expectations clash. [35:25]

These cracks widen under pressure. Jesus’ foundation requires intentionality, not assumption. Sand marriages avoid hard talks. Rock marriages schedule them. Name unspoken rules before they trigger collapse.

What unstated expectation causes friction in your home? Is it screen time, parenting styles, or division of chores? Today, choose one tension point. Say to your spouse: “Can we discuss our assumptions about ______?”

“Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.”
(Romans 15:7, NIV)

Prayer: Confess one assumption you’ve unfairly placed on your spouse.
Challenge: Write three unspoken “rules” you brought into marriage. Share one tonight.

Day 3: The Myth of Happily Ever After

Newlyweds imagine marriage erases loneliness, heals past wounds, and guarantees joy. But spouses can’t replace Christ. A wife stares at dishes while her husband scrolls ESPN. A husband hears silence after sharing a fear. Disillusionment whispers: “You married wrong.” [38:18]

Jesus never promised problem-free unions. He promised His presence. Marriages on rock fight problems together, not each other. Shared burdens become bonding moments.

Where do you secretly blame your spouse for not “fixing” your life? List one disappointment. Then write: “How could we face this as teammates?”

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
(Ecclesiastes 4:12, NIV)

Prayer: Thank God for three ways your spouse has faced trials with you.
Challenge: Do one practical task your spouse usually handles (laundry, bills, yardwork).

Day 4: Bearing Burdens, Building Up

Paul told believers to “bear one another’s burdens.” Fridges hold grocery lists, not grace. A husband criticizes clutter instead of folding towels. A wife nags about weight instead of suggesting a walk. Rock marriages speak life: “Let me help” replaces “Why haven’t you…?” [52:50]

Jesus’ words rebuild foundations. “Carry each other’s burdens” becomes packing lunches during a busy week. “Forgive” means dropping yesterday’s argument.

What habit irritates you most about your spouse? Reframe it today: “When you ______, I feel ______. Could we problem-solve this?”

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
(Ephesians 4:2, NIV)

Prayer: Ask God to soften your tone in the next difficult conversation.
Challenge: Compliment your spouse’s character (not appearance) before bed.

Day 5: CFO of Fun

Couples forget to play. Calendars fill with bills, carpools, and repairs. Jesus attended weddings. He blessed wine. Laughter heals. A husband plans a TJ Maxx trip because his wife loves clearance racks. A wife watches the game, cheering his touchdown dance. [59:51]

Fun isn’t frivolous—it’s faith. Choosing joy declares storms won’t win. Shared laughter becomes glue.

When did you last laugh together? Schedule 30 minutes this week for pure fun—no chores or deep talks. Ask: “What made us click before life got complicated?”

“This is my beloved, this is my friend.”
(Song of Solomon 5:16, NIV)

Prayer: Thank God for one joyful memory with your spouse.
Challenge: Plan a $10-or-less “date” this week (walk, board game, stargazing).

Sermon Summary

Jesus sets the blueprint for an unshakable marriage by contrasting houses built on rock and sand. The rock foundation represents obedience to Christ and steady spiritual practices; the sand foundation forms when couples rely on assumptions, unmet expectations, and cultural myths. Storms arrive in every season of marriage because the world is fallen. These trials reveal whether a marriage rests on rock or sand, and they can either expose weakness or produce growth depending on the choices made in response.

Four common myths quietly undermine marriages: assuming both partners share the same unspoken expectations, expecting all good things to automatically improve, believing marriage will erase personal struggles, and trusting a spouse to make one spiritually whole. Each myth shifts responsibility away from spiritual formation and mutual sacrifice, turning intimacy into disappointment when life exposes unmet hopes. The remedy centers on practical, daily choices rather than one-time commitments.

Four choices rebuild and secure the foundation. First, choose to remain committed to the covenant out of obedience to God, recognizing exceptions for abuse and sexual immorality. Second, choose to love and respect the whole person, using Christlike acceptance as the standard while still naming behaviors that need change. Third, choose to apply the New Testament one-another commands at home before elsewhere, making the household a training ground for bearing burdens, forgiving, and honoring one another. Fourth, choose to prioritize joy together, intentionally creating small rhythms of fun and friendship so the relationship remains a refuge against the world.

Practical tools include a simple communication formula that names behaviors and owns feelings, regular use of one-another verses as daily reminders, seeking godly counsel when stuck, and treating fun as a leadership responsibility. With steady obedience, honest conversation, mutual refinement, and prioritized delight, storms cease to destabilize and instead shape a marriage that reflects the stability of Christ. The invitation closes with a call to honest prayer, repentance, and openness to God’s work in each relationship.

Key Takeaways

1. Storms reveal the foundation Storms do not appear to punish but to expose what already supports a marriage. When hardship arrives, it clarifies whether the couple built on obedience to Christ or on cultural assumptions. Use storms as diagnostic opportunities to strengthen weak places rather than as proof of failure. [28:45]
2. Myths build marriages on sand Unspoken expectations, automatic improvement, relational cure-alls, and relying on a spouse for wholeness quietly erode stability. These myths shift responsibility from spiritual growth to false promises, producing resentment and repeated patterns. Recognizing and naming the myths frees couples to rebuild priorities around truth and grace. [34:15]
3. Choose to stay and work Remaining in the covenant by choice reflects obedience and creates the space for transformation over time. Staying does not mean ignoring abuse or clear biblical exceptions, but it does reject divorce as the default response to difficulty. Commitment opens the door to counseling, accountability, and sustained spiritual formation. [42:07]
4. Love, accept, and address behaviors Acceptance rooted in Christ provides the posture for honest correction that aims at growth rather than shame. Separate identity from behavior, name specific actions, and own emotional responses with language that opens change rather than defensiveness. This method invites mutual refinement and cultivates holiness across every area of life. [46:48]
5. Prioritize joy and shared fun Regular, intentional delight replenishes relational reserves and guards against the world’s corrosive effects. Fun does not require expense but requires attention and leadership, especially from those who set household rhythms. When home becomes a place of laughter and affirmation, the marriage gains resilience for future storms. [57:47]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[25:48] - Member lunch and legacy initiative
[26:57] - Topic: Unshakable marriage faith
[27:35] - Matthew 7: Rock and sand
[28:45] - Storms in every season
[30:11] - Storms reveal foundation
[31:15] - Responding to storms
[34:15] - Myths that build on sand
[36:09] - Expecting automatic improvement
[40:43] - Choices: making steady decisions
[42:07] - Choose to stay married
[46:48] - Love, accept, and address
[51:10] - Apply one another verses
[57:47] - Prioritize fun and friendship
[62:10] - Prayer and response

Bible Study Guide

Bible Reading
Matthew 7:24-27 (NIV)
“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”

Observation Questions

In Matthew 7:24-27, what two foundations does Jesus contrast, and what determines whether a house survives the storm?
The sermon mentions four myths that erode marriages (e.g., expecting automatic improvement). What are two examples of these myths? [34:15]
According to the passage in Romans 15:7 (referenced in the sermon), what is the basis for accepting one another? [45:24]
What practical communication formula was suggested for addressing behaviors in marriage? [48:15]

Interpretation Questions

Why do storms in marriage “reveal the foundation” rather than punish couples? How does this align with Jesus’ metaphor in Matthew 7? [30:11]
How might the myth “my spouse will make me whole” conflict with the biblical view of identity in Christ? [40:02]
Romans 15:7 calls believers to “accept one another as Christ accepted you.” How does this kind of acceptance create space for addressing harmful behaviors without shame? [46:48]
Why is prioritizing joy and fun described as a spiritual responsibility in marriage? How does this connect to the idea of being a “refuge against the world”? [57:47]

Application Questions

What unspoken expectations or roles from your family or culture have caused tension in your relationships? How could you start a “clear conversation without condemnation” to address them? [35:25]
The formula “When you [behavior], it makes me feel [emotion]” was suggested for communication. Try using this with a specific situation this week. What makes this approach challenging, and how might it foster growth? [48:15]
Fun is described as a leadership responsibility. What is one simple, cost-free way you could intentionally create joy with your spouse (or a close relationship) this month? [58:27]
The sermon warns against linking identity to behavior (e.g., “This is just how I am”). What is one habit or reaction you’ve excused as part of your identity that God might be calling you to surrender?
If “storms reveal the foundation,” what current challenge in your relationship could be an opportunity to strengthen your foundation through obedience or humility?
How could you apply the “one-another verses” (e.g., forgive, bear burdens) at home this week in a tangible way? [51:10]
The sermon advises seeking godly counsel when stuck. Is there a recurring issue in your relationships where outside wisdom might help? Who could you reach out to? [42:07]

Sermon Clips

But oftentimes, you're not really even sure what the foundation is until a storm shows up. The next thing then kinda ties to this, storms can either weaken your marriage or strengthen your marriage depending on the foundation. So we've all seen it. You got two couples. Couple over here. Couple over there. One couple goes through one set of circumstances and the other couple goes through the exact same set of circumstances. Yet for one couple, it ends the marriage. For the other couple, it strengthens the marriage. Why? Difference in foundation. [00:30:37] (31 seconds) #FoundationMatters

And if you throw into this reality the myth that I thought everything was going to get better, here's what he'll then whisper into your ear, you must have married the wrong person. And right about the time the marriage was about to get into a season where really great depth was going to be built between two people, the two people bail on the marriage, go find someone else, and repeat that season again. And it happens over and over. So how do you combat that? The way you combat that is work on yourself inside your marriage. [00:36:50] (33 seconds) #WorkOnYourselfInMarriage

We can begin to speak about behaviors in a way where hopefully improvement starts to occur. So let me give you a little statement. Again, we learned this in marriage counseling years ago and it's been super helpful for us. Okay? So jot it down somewhere. When you and then you kind of fill in the action, it makes me feel like and then you own your emotion. So jot it down. We'll give a few examples. Again, you're talking to your spouse, there's some things going on and and you wish that they would change. [00:47:48] (25 seconds) #UseIStatements

There'll be days in your marriage you don't feel like staying married. And what are you gonna do in those moments? What you do matters. And might I suggest that you just nail that down. Divorce is not an option for us. We can work through any set of challenge, problems, circumstances because we've already taken that off the table, and if we need to sit down with a good Christian marriage counselor, which Morgan and I have done multiple times over the years in our marriage, then that's what we'll do. [00:43:40] (25 seconds) #DivorceIsOffTheTable

You're gonna rub each other the wrong way. You're gonna frustrate one another. No one will ever hurt you more than your spouse because no one has greater access to your heart than your spouse. Listen, if your reason for staying married is your spouse, that is a very shaky foundation. You've got to have a greater reason to stay married. And might I suggest that reason is out of obedience to God, that it's what he desires. [00:43:14] (26 seconds) #HigherReasonToStay

What does that look like? First thing we need to know about storms is that storms will come into your marriage in every season of your marriage. I wanna encourage you to look at your life in seasons. I wanna encourage you to look at your marriage in seasons. The first few years of marriage, the storms will look different than when you start having kids, than when your kids are teenagers, than when you're empty nesters. But rest assured, storms will come into your marriage and every season of your marriage, not because you're married, but because we live in a fallen world. [00:29:18] (30 seconds) #SeasonsOfMarriage

And that's just kinda all over society, all over culture. And just for a moment, if you're single and you're not married, you're already whole. You were created in God's image. He's not looking down on you from heaven going, when are gonna get this thing together? That's not what God's doing. Alright? He created you in his image. If you've accepted Jesus Christ as your savior, your identity is in Christ. And when you get into a marriage, marriage is not meant to complete you, but it can compliment you. [00:39:32] (25 seconds) #WholeInChristNotMarriage

I mentioned Morgan and have been married for twenty three years. We can go through some things now in our marriage. It doesn't throw us off course nearly as much as it used to. Why? Because over time as we've faced more storms and we've strengthened the foundation, we're able to make it through new storms. And that's actually the last part of this whole discussion on storms. They're not permanent. They eventually pass, but guess what? The next one will roll right in. Okay? [00:32:14] (25 seconds) #StormsPassYouGrow

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