Unraveling Marriage Myths: Embracing the Covenant

Summary

In our journey through life and faith, we often encounter myths that shape our understanding of the world around us. Today, we delve into the myths surrounding marriage, unraveling the truths that can lead us to healthier relationships and a stronger community. Marriage is not merely a social contract or a means to personal fulfillment; it is a covenant, a sacred bond that mirrors the steadfast love and commitment God has for His people.

Marriage myths, like the belief that love alone will keep a couple together or that marriage should be easy, can prevent the formation of healthy relationships. These myths set unrealistic expectations and obscure the true nature of marriage as a covenant. When we view marriage through the lens of consumerism, we reduce it to a transaction, seeking benefits such as financial security or companionship. However, marriage is not about what we can get, but about the solemn commitment we make to journey through life together, for better or for worse.

The covenant of marriage is not a hierarchy but a partnership. Ephesians 5:21-33, often misinterpreted, speaks not of authority and submission in terms of power, but of mutual love and respect, reflecting Christ's relationship with the church. The husband as the "head" is not about dominance but about being a source of love, just as Christ is the source of life for the church.

Marriage myths come at a cost, affecting not only the couple but the entire community. Social science research shows that healthy marriages contribute to the well-being of children, reduce poverty, and foster better health outcomes. When we dispel these myths and support the covenant of marriage, everyone benefits—single, married, young, and old alike.

As we move forward, let us challenge the myths we hold about marriage. Whether we are married, planning to marry, or happily single, engaging in conversations about the true nature of marriage can help us all. By understanding marriage as a covenant and supporting one another in this journey, we create a community where marriages thrive, and everybody wins.

Key Takeaways:

- Marriage is a covenant, not a contract. It is a sacred bond that reflects God's unwavering commitment to us. When we approach marriage as a covenant, we embrace a deeper, more resilient form of love that is not based on fleeting emotions or personal gain, but on a solemn promise to stand by one another. [55:22]

- Mutual submission and respect are the bedrock of a healthy marriage. Ephesians 5:21-33 teaches us that marriage is about serving one another in love, not about power dynamics. When both partners commit to this principle, the relationship becomes a reflection of Christ's love for the church. [50:56]

- Dispelling marriage myths is crucial for the well-being of our community. Healthy marriages contribute to societal stability and the flourishing of individuals, especially children. By fostering environments that support healthy marriages, we invest in the future of our society. [59:39]

- Marriage is not designed solely for personal happiness but for personal growth and holiness. It is a mirror that reveals our character and provides opportunities for us to become more like Christ. When we understand this, we can appreciate the transformative power of marriage. [44:22]

- Everyone has a role to play in supporting the institution of marriage. Whether we are married or single, we can contribute to a culture that values and upholds the covenant of marriage. By doing so, we help build a community where all can thrive. [01:01:08]

Study Guide

### Bible Study Discussion Guide

#### Bible Reading
1. Ephesians 5:21-33: "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body. 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

#### Observation Questions
1. What does Ephesians 5:21-33 say about the relationship between husbands and wives?
2. According to the sermon, what are some common myths about marriage that people believe? ([33:06])
3. How does the sermon describe the concept of marriage as a covenant rather than a contract? ([53:17])
4. What are some societal benefits of healthy marriages mentioned in the sermon? ([56:03])

#### Interpretation Questions
1. How does the idea of mutual submission in Ephesians 5:21-33 challenge traditional views of marital roles?
2. Why does the sermon emphasize that marriage is a covenant and not a contract? What implications does this have for how we view marriage? ([53:17])
3. How do the myths about marriage, as discussed in the sermon, prevent the formation of healthy relationships? ([34:03])
4. What does the sermon suggest about the role of the community in supporting healthy marriages? ([01:00:12])

#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on your own views about marriage. Are there any myths you have believed that might be affecting your relationship or your view of marriage? How can you begin to challenge these myths? ([33:06])
2. Ephesians 5:21-33 talks about mutual submission and love. How can you practice mutual submission and respect in your current relationships, whether you are married or single?
3. The sermon mentions that marriage is not just for personal happiness but for personal growth and holiness. How can you shift your perspective to see marriage (or relationships) as a means for personal growth? ([44:22])
4. The sermon highlights the societal benefits of healthy marriages. What are some practical ways you can support healthy marriages within your community? ([56:03])
5. Think about the concept of marriage as a covenant. How can you apply the principles of commitment and enduring love in your daily interactions with others? ([53:17])
6. The sermon encourages everyone, whether married or single, to engage in conversations about the true nature of marriage. How can you initiate such conversations in your social circles? ([01:00:12])
7. Identify one specific myth about marriage that you have encountered. How can you address and dispel this myth in your own life or in the lives of those around you? ([33:06])

Devotional

Day 1: Covenant Over Contract
Marriage is often viewed through the lens of modern society as a contract—an agreement that can be broken when it no longer serves the interests of the individuals involved. However, the true essence of marriage is found in the concept of a covenant, which is a sacred and unbreakable bond that reflects the unwavering commitment God has for us. This covenant is not based on the shifting sands of emotions or personal gain but is a solemn promise to stand by one another through all of life's seasons. It is a commitment that requires a depth of love that goes beyond the surface, a love that is resilient and enduring. Understanding marriage as a covenant invites couples to embrace a form of love that is not easily broken, and it calls for a dedication to grow and nurture the relationship over time. [07:40]

"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you. - Isaiah 54:10

Reflection: How does viewing your closest relationships as covenants rather than contracts change the way you approach them?

Day 2: Serving in Love
The foundation of a healthy marriage is built upon mutual submission and respect. Ephesians 5:21-33, often misunderstood, is not about establishing a hierarchy of power but about calling both partners to serve one another in love. This mutual service is a reflection of Christ's selfless love for the church. In a marriage that embraces this principle, both individuals are committed to supporting, honoring, and uplifting each other. This creates a dynamic where power is not wielded but shared, and where love is not demanded but freely given. When both partners commit to serving each other in love, the relationship becomes a powerful testament to the love Christ has for His people, a love that is sacrificial and transformative. [50:56]

"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior." - Ephesians 5:21-23

Reflection: In what ways can you practice serving your partner or a close friend today to reflect Christ's love?

Day 3: Marriage and Community Well-being
Dispelling the myths surrounding marriage is not only beneficial for individual couples but is crucial for the well-being of the entire community. Healthy marriages have been shown to contribute to societal stability, the flourishing of individuals, and particularly the well-being of children. They can reduce poverty and foster better health outcomes. By supporting the covenant of marriage and fostering environments that encourage healthy relationships, we are investing in the future of our society. This investment pays dividends in the form of stronger communities and healthier families, which in turn benefits everyone, single or married, young or old. [59:39]

"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!" - Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Reflection: What can you do to support the marriages or committed relationships in your community?

Day 4: Growth Through Marriage
Marriage is not solely designed for personal happiness but is a crucible for personal growth and holiness. It acts as a mirror, reflecting our character and revealing areas where we can become more like Christ. The challenges and joys of marriage provide countless opportunities for transformation and growth. As we navigate the complexities of sharing life with another person, we are given the chance to practice patience, forgiveness, and selflessness. These virtues are not only beneficial for the marriage but also for our individual spiritual journeys. By embracing the transformative power of marriage, we can appreciate the ways in which our relationships refine us and draw us closer to the image of Christ. [44:22]

"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." - Hebrews 10:24-25

Reflection: What is one area in your marriage or a close relationship that is challenging you to grow, and how can you approach it with a heart for transformation?

Day 5: Upholding the Covenant Together
The institution of marriage is a communal treasure that everyone, regardless of their marital status, has a role in upholding. By valuing and supporting the covenant of marriage, we contribute to a culture that recognizes the significance of this sacred bond. This support can take many forms, from offering encouragement to married couples to engaging in conversations about the true nature of marriage. When we all play our part in upholding the covenant of marriage, we help build a community where relationships can thrive, and where the principles of love, commitment, and mutual support are celebrated and lived out. This collective effort ensures that the institution of marriage remains strong and that its benefits are felt throughout the community. [01:01:08]

"Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous." - Hebrews 13:4

Reflection: How can you, regardless of your marital status, contribute to a culture that honors and supports the covenant of marriage?

Quotes

- "Buying into some of the common myths about marriage also plays into our consumer mentality. We bring this with us into our beliefs about marriage." [53:00] (Download | )

- "Marriage is a covenant, covenants are binding agreements, solemn commitments that are intended to endure through thick and through thin." [55:22] (Download | )

- "Marriage myths can prevent healthy marriages, they can obscure this key of a marriage which is a covenant relationship." [55:22] (Download | )

- "Marriage myths come with a cost and they cost every one of us. We all pay when marriage myths prevail." [59:39] (Download | )

- "When we cultivate a healthy environment for healthy marriages, everybody wins. Everybody wins." [01:01:08] (Download | )

- "Marriage provides endless opportunities for us to see ourselves as God does. And sometimes those are not happy moments." [44:22] (Download | )

- "Think of marriage as a graduate degree in letting God do His work in your life. Marriage is a mirror." [44:22] (Download | )

- "Marriage myths can prevent healthy marriages. Here's another reason: Marriage myths obscure what I think is the key of a marriage and that is the covenant." [47:31] (Download | )

- "Covenant relationship. You can't read very far in the Bible without realizing that God is a covenant making, covenant keeping God." [47:31] (Download | )

- "This is not about hierarchy. That's not what this passage is trying to say. God's design dating all the way back to Genesis 1 and 2 is that man and woman are partners together in this thing called marriage." [50:56] (Download | )

Chatbot

Transcript

What was the most surprising thing in this sermon?

Were there any personal stories shared?