Understanding the Relational Nature of Prayer

Devotional

Day 1: The Purpose of Prayer—Knowing God and Doing His Will

Prayer is not a tool to get God to fulfill our desires, but rather a means to draw near to Him, to know His heart, and to align ourselves with His will. God is not a spiritual vending machine or a button to be pushed; He is a loving Father who desires relationship with us. When we approach prayer as a way to know God more deeply, we find that our hearts are transformed and our desires begin to reflect His. The ultimate goal is not to bend God to our plans, but to be shaped by His presence and to walk in obedience to His purposes for our lives. [50:08]

John 14:13-14 (ESV)
“Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.”

Reflection: In what area of your life do you need to shift your prayers from asking God to do your will, to seeking to know Him and His will more deeply today?

Day 2: Broken Relationships Can Hinder Our Prayers

Our relationships with others deeply impact our relationship with God, and unresolved conflict or unforgiveness can become a barrier to answered prayer. Jesus teaches that before we come to God in worship or prayer, we should seek reconciliation with those we have wronged or who have wronged us. The way we treat others—spouses, friends, fellow believers—matters to God, and harboring bitterness or neglecting to make peace can hinder our intimacy with Him and the effectiveness of our prayers. [01:05:27]

Mark 11:24-25 (ESV)
“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”

Reflection: Is there someone you need to forgive or seek reconciliation with before you come to God in prayer today? What step can you take toward that?

Day 3: Faith Matters—“I Believe, Help My Unbelief”

God honors faith, and Scripture shows that faith is essential to our relationship with Him and to answered prayer. Yet, even when we struggle with doubt or feel our faith is weak, God invites us to come honestly, just as the father did who cried out, “I believe; help my unbelief!” God is not looking for perfect faith, but for honest hearts that bring both belief and doubt to Him, trusting that He is able and willing to meet us where we are. [01:08:29]

Mark 9:23-24 (ESV)
And Jesus said to him, “‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes.” Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!”

Reflection: Where are you struggling to believe God can move? Will you bring your honest doubts and faith together to Him in prayer today?

Day 4: Sometimes God’s Answer Is Different—Trusting His Will

There are times when, despite our faith and our best understanding, God’s answer to our prayers is simply different from what we hoped. Scripture reminds us that God’s will is higher than ours, and sometimes He withholds what we ask for because He has a different plan—one that may not be better or worse, just different, and ultimately for our good and His glory. In these moments, we are called to trust that His grace is sufficient and that His strength is made perfect in our weakness. [01:17:22]

1 John 5:14-15 (ESV)
“And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.”

Reflection: Is there a prayer you’ve been praying that God seems to be answering differently than you expected? How can you surrender your will to His today and trust His plan?

Day 5: Don’t Stop Praying—Press In Even When It’s Hard

When prayers seem unanswered and discouragement sets in, the temptation is to give up or pull back from God. Yet, we are encouraged to press in, to go a little further in prayer, just as Jesus did in Gethsemane. Even in the midst of confusion or disappointment, God meets us with His presence, strengthens us, and draws us closer to Himself. The journey of prayer is not about getting what we want, but about being transformed by God’s love and learning to trust Him more deeply, no matter the outcome. [01:22:30]

Luke 22:41-43 (ESV)
“And he withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed, saying, ‘Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.’ And there appeared to him an angel from heaven, strengthening him.”

Reflection: When you feel like giving up on prayer, what would it look like for you to “go a little further” and press in to God’s presence today?

Sermon Summary

Today’s gathering focused on the deep and sometimes perplexing reality of prayer—its power, its purpose, and the honest struggles we face when our prayers seem to go unanswered. At the heart of our life with God is not a transactional relationship, but a relational one. Prayer is not about getting God to do our will, but about knowing Him so that we can do His will. This is a vital distinction, especially in a culture that often puts the self at the center of every story. In God’s story, He is the main character, and we are invited to participate in His purposes, not the other way around.

We explored the tension between the bold promises of Jesus—“Ask anything in my name and I will do it”—and the lived reality that sometimes, even with faith, our prayers are not answered as we hope. This tension is not a sign of God’s absence or indifference, but an invitation to deeper trust and understanding. We learned that building our beliefs on a single verse, out of context, can lead to disappointment and confusion. Instead, we must let the whole of Scripture interpret itself, seeing the bigger picture of God’s heart and ways.

Three possible reasons for unanswered prayer were considered. First, broken relationships with others can hinder our intimacy with God and the effectiveness of our prayers. Jesus and the apostles repeatedly taught that reconciliation and love among people are deeply connected to our relationship with God. Second, sometimes our prayers are marked by unbelief—we say the words, but deep down we doubt God will act. Yet, even in our mixture of belief and unbelief, God invites us to come honestly, as the father did who cried, “I believe; help my unbelief!” Third, sometimes God simply has something different in mind—His will, not ours, is ultimately best, even when it is mysterious or painful. The stories of Jesus in Gethsemane and Paul’s “thorn in the flesh” remind us that God’s grace is sufficient, and His power is made perfect in our weakness.

In all things, we are encouraged not to give up on prayer, but to press in deeper, trusting that God meets us in our questions, our pain, and our waiting. Our faith is not in outcomes, but in the character and goodness of God Himself. Even when we do not understand, we are called to surrender, to keep praying, and to trust that God is at work in ways beyond what we can see.

Key Takeaways

1. Prayer is fundamentally relational, not transactional. The purpose of prayer is not to get God to do our will, but to know Him and align ourselves with His will. When we approach God as the main character of the story, our prayers become less about manipulating outcomes and more about deepening intimacy and trust with Him. [50:08]
2. Broken relationships with others can hinder our prayers. Jesus and the apostles teach that reconciliation and love among people are not optional extras, but essential to our spiritual health. If we harbor unforgiveness or unresolved conflict, it can create a barrier in our relationship with God, reminding us that faith is always lived out in community. [61:14]
3. Honest faith includes both belief and doubt. God is not threatened by our questions or our struggles with unbelief. Like the father who cried, “I believe; help my unbelief,” we are invited to bring our whole selves—faith, doubt, and all—to God, trusting that He meets us in our honesty and grows our faith through the journey. [68:29]
4. Faith matters, but it is not a formula. While Scripture affirms the importance of faith, it never teaches that faith guarantees we will get what we want. Our faith is not in our faith, but in God’s character and wisdom. Sometimes, even with great faith and right relationships, God’s answer is different than what we desire, and we are called to trust Him in the mystery. [71:24]
5. God’s grace is sufficient, especially in unanswered prayer. The stories of Jesus in Gethsemane and Paul’s thorn in the flesh show us that God’s “no” or “not yet” is not a sign of His absence, but an opportunity for His strength to be revealed in our weakness. In seasons of waiting or disappointment, we are invited to press in, surrender, and discover that God Himself is enough. [77:54]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[36:17] - Introduction and Connection Cards
[37:16] - Stick Six: Finding a Church Home
[38:05] - Kids Dismissal and Announcements
[38:42] - Next Steps Course Invitation
[39:52] - Mother’s Day Brunch and Community Favor
[40:36] - Supporting the Kelly Family
[42:42] - Prayer for the Kelly Family
[44:28] - Sermon Intro Video
[46:23] - The Power and Confusion of Prayer
[49:36] - The Purpose of Prayer: Not My Will
[54:49] - Hermeneutics 101: Interpreting Scripture
[58:38] - Three Reasons for Unanswered Prayer
[66:41] - The Role of Faith and Unbelief
[73:44] - When God Has Something Different
[80:21] - The Relational Purpose of Prayer
[83:25] - Closing Prayer and Ministry Time
[89:11] - Worship and Response

Bible Study Guide

Bible Reading

John 14:13-14 — “You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father. Yes, ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.”
([47:56])

2. Mark 11:24-25
“I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours. But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.”
([59:23])

3. Mark 9:23-24
“‘What do you mean, ‘If I can’?’ Jesus asked. ‘Anything is possible if a person believes.’ The father instantly cried out, ‘I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!’”
([01:08:15])

Observation Questions

In John 14:13-14, what does Jesus promise about prayer, and what is the purpose behind His promise? ([47:56])
According to Mark 11:24-25, what does Jesus say we should do before we pray, and why might this be important? ([59:50])
In the story from Mark 9:23-24, how does the father express both faith and doubt at the same time? ([01:08:15])
The sermon said, “The purpose of prayer is not to get God to do our will, but to know Him so that we can do His will.” What examples did the pastor give to explain this difference? ([50:08])

Interpretation Questions

Why do you think Jesus connects answered prayer with forgiving others in Mark 11:24-25? What does this say about the relationship between our faith and our relationships? ([59:50])
The father in Mark 9:24 says, “I do believe, but help my unbelief.” What does this teach us about how God views our doubts and struggles in prayer? ([01:08:29])
The sermon mentioned that sometimes God’s answer is simply “different” than what we want, even when we have faith and right relationships. How does this challenge the idea that faith is a formula for getting what we want? ([01:11:24])
The pastor said, “Prayer is fundamentally relational, not transactional.” How does this change the way we approach God with our needs and desires? ([50:08])

Application Questions

The sermon taught that broken relationships with others can hinder our prayers. Is there anyone in your life right now you need to forgive or seek forgiveness from? What step could you take this week to move toward reconciliation? ([01:01:14])
When you pray, do you find yourself trying to “get God to do your will,” or are you seeking to know Him and align with His will? What would it look like to shift your prayers to be more about relationship than results? ([50:08])
The father in Mark 9 was honest about his doubts. Are there areas in your life where you feel both faith and unbelief? How can you bring your honest struggles to God in prayer this week? ([01:08:29])
Have you ever felt disappointed or confused when God didn’t answer a prayer the way you hoped? How did you respond, and what did you learn about God’s character through that experience? ([01:17:54])
The pastor said, “Our faith is not in our faith, but in God’s character and wisdom.” How can you remind yourself of God’s goodness when you’re waiting for an answer or facing disappointment? ([01:11:24])
Jesus in Gethsemane and Paul with his “thorn in the flesh” both experienced unanswered prayer but found God’s grace was enough. Is there a situation in your life where you need to trust that God’s grace is sufficient, even if the answer is “no” or “not yet”? ([01:17:54])
The sermon encouraged us not to give up on prayer, but to “press in deeper.” What is one practical way you can keep praying and trusting God this week, even if you don’t see immediate results? ([01:22:17])

Sermon Clips

Prayer can be wonderfully powerful, but can also be incredibly confusing. Because if you're anything like me, then you may have seen God answer some prayers in your life at one time or another where you said, "Wow, God really showed up and he really showed off in a really significant way." [00:47:04]

The purpose of prayer is not to get God to do our will and to just give us whatever we want. Rather, if you're taking notes this morning, the purpose of prayer is to know God so that we can do his will. [00:49:44]

If we want to understand why God does not always answer our prayers, then we need to embrace these truths that God does not exist to serve us. On the contrary, we exist to serve and to glorify him because he is the main character of the story, not us. [00:51:45]

Rather, whenever we are building a belief system around any given idea, what we need to do is we need to look at the whole of scripture to build a cohesive and integral system of belief. In other words, what does the whole Bible say about any given idea? [00:55:28]

So, when we're dealing with this very weighty question of unanswered prayer that so often can cause people to stumble and to doubt God and even to walk away from their faith, why did God not answer my prayers? What we're going to do today is we're going to let the Bible interpret the Bible. [00:56:58]

Maybe you have a broken human relationship that could be in impacting your intimacy with God. That's our first possibility this morning. But the second one this morning, if you're taking notes, is this. Maybe another reason why God hasn't answered your prayer is you prayed, but if you're honest, you didn't actually believe that God was going to answer that prayer. [01:06:33]

I love that honesty because I can't speak for everybody else here today, but I'll just tell you, even as a pastor, sometimes there's moments where I struggle with unbelief. There are moments where I've prayed for people. And listen, I have seen God do miraculous things. [01:08:39]

Your faith matters to God. Hear that? But our faith is not in our faith. Our faith is in God. Let me explain what I mean by that. Scripture says put a very high emphasis on faith. Hebrews chapter 11 says it is impossible to please God without faith. [01:09:30]

And yet at the same time we need to remember God is still God. Period. And he will do whatever he will do. So we don't put our faith in our faith. We put our faith in God and in his goodness and his character and his grace because unfortunately there are some Christian circles where there's something taught called the prosperity gospel. [01:11:29]

Maybe in your case, even though you really want this and you really think this is best and all logic tells you that this is best, maybe God just has something different in store for you and that's his will. [01:13:47]

But ultimately Jesus knew that the father had something different in mind than answering this little prayer request. And so Jesus says, even though I want this, more than this, I want your will. Not my will, but yours be done. [01:15:24]

Therefore, even though we go through difficult things and we often want to pray them away, sometimes God doesn't take them away so that his strength can be shown in our weakness and his glory can be displayed in the things that we don't get answers to and when we don't get what we want. [01:18:39]

But what I want you to understand today is this. The purpose of prayer is not to get God to do what we want. The purpose of prayer is relational. To get to know him, to know him, to know him intimately and personally so we can do his will. [01:20:25]

So, we have to remember that God ultimately is not here to serve me. I'm here to serve him. And the purpose of prayer is not to get him to do my little will, but it's for me to get to know him and to do his will and to walk with him, his good and pleasing and perfect will for my life, to know the plans which are immeasurably good for me beyond measure. [01:20:50]

And so whenever I pray, what I do is this. I pray and I believe that God can and I believe that God will. And even if he doesn't, I still trust him because my faith is not based on what I see. My faith is not based in my faith. [01:21:18]

Maybe you need to go a little further. Maybe you need to press in a little deeper. And even if the answer isn't always what we expect or what we want, what we do see in that story is that God sent angels to strengthen Jesus and to meet him in the moment of unanswered prayer. [01:22:20]

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