Understanding the Divine Covenant of Marriage

 

Summary

Marriage is a divine institution, ordained and instituted by God, not merely a social convention or human invention. Reflecting on a recent wedding I attended, I was struck by the beauty and depth of the traditional wedding ceremony. Despite the creativity and new elements introduced, the traditional words resonated deeply, reminding me of the profound thought and care embedded in each word. This tradition, however, is being challenged in our culture, as many young people, wary of the pain and brokenness they have witnessed in marriages, opt for cohabitation over commitment. This shift reflects a broader cultural tension where longstanding traditions are questioned and often discarded without understanding their roots.

The story of Tevye from "Fiddler on the Roof" illustrates the precariousness of traditions that lack understanding. Traditions, like a fiddler on a roof, can easily fall if not grounded in their original purpose. In the Christian context, marriage is not just a tradition but a covenant ordained by God. The creation narrative in Genesis highlights that marriage was instituted to address human loneliness, with God declaring, "It is not good that man should be alone." This divine malediction against loneliness underscores the purpose of marriage as a means for human fulfillment and intimacy.

Marriage is a covenant, a sacred agreement made in the presence of witnesses, reflecting the biblical concept of covenants that are public and binding. This public declaration of vows signifies a commitment that goes beyond private promises, involving the community and God as witnesses. The covenantal nature of marriage is crucial because it involves our deepest emotions and vulnerabilities, offering the potential for both profound joy and deep pain.

In our culture, where marriage is often seen as a private matter, it's essential to remember that it is a public covenant regulated by God's commandments. This regulation is not to restrict but to guide us towards fulfillment and happiness, aligning with God's glory. As we navigate the complexities of marriage, understanding its divine origin and covenantal nature can help us appreciate its sacredness and navigate its challenges with grace and commitment.

Key Takeaways:

1. Marriage as Divine Institution: Marriage is not a human invention but a divine institution ordained by God. Understanding its divine origin helps us appreciate its sacredness and purpose, which is to address human loneliness and provide fulfillment. [07:45]

2. Tradition and Understanding: Traditions, like the traditional wedding ceremony, hold deep meaning and purpose. Without understanding their roots, they become precarious and can easily be discarded, much like a fiddler on a roof. [06:06]

3. Covenantal Nature of Marriage: Marriage is a covenant, a public and sacred agreement made before God and witnesses. This covenantal nature emphasizes the seriousness and commitment involved, distinguishing it from private promises. [21:49]

4. Marriage and Vulnerability: Marriage involves our deepest emotions and vulnerabilities, offering the potential for both profound joy and deep pain. Recognizing this can help us approach marriage with the seriousness and commitment it deserves. [24:48]

5. Regulation by God's Commandments: God's commandments regulate marriage, not to restrict but to guide us towards fulfillment and happiness. This regulation aligns with God's glory and helps us navigate the complexities of marriage with grace. [20:04]

Youtube Chapters:

- [00:00] - Welcome
- [00:32] - Reflections on a Creative Wedding
- [01:19] - The Beauty of Traditional Ceremonies
- [02:44] - Cultural Shifts in Marriage Perceptions
- [03:26] - Lessons from "Fiddler on the Roof"
- [06:06] - The Precariousness of Tradition
- [07:45] - Marriage as Ordained by God
- [08:25] - The Creation Narrative
- [09:54] - Benedictions and Maledictions
- [12:19] - Addressing Human Loneliness
- [14:01] - The Complementarity of Man and Woman
- [17:16] - The Creation of Woman
- [18:42] - Writing Authentic Wedding Ceremonies
- [20:04] - Marriage as a Covenant
- [24:48] - The Precious and Dangerous Nature of Marriage

Study Guide

### Bible Study Discussion Guide

#### Bible Reading
1. Genesis 2:18 - "The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.'"
2. Genesis 2:24 - "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh."
3. Ephesians 5:31-32 - "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church."

#### Observation Questions
1. What was the first thing in creation that God declared "not good," and how did He address it? (Genesis 2:18)
2. How does the traditional wedding ceremony reflect the biblical concept of marriage as a covenant? [20:04]
3. What cultural shifts regarding marriage were discussed in the sermon, and how do they challenge traditional views? [02:44]
4. How does the story of Tevye from "Fiddler on the Roof" illustrate the importance of understanding the roots of traditions? [06:06]

#### Interpretation Questions
1. Why is it significant that marriage is described as a covenant in the Bible, and how does this understanding impact the way we view marriage today? [20:04]
2. In what ways does the sermon suggest that marriage addresses human loneliness, and how does this align with the creation narrative in Genesis? [12:19]
3. How does the concept of marriage being regulated by God's commandments challenge the modern view of marriage as a private matter? [20:04]
4. What does the sermon imply about the potential for both profound joy and deep pain in marriage, and how should this influence our approach to marital commitments? [24:48]

#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on your understanding of marriage as a divine institution. How does this perspective influence your current or future relationships? [07:45]
2. Consider a tradition in your life that you follow without understanding its roots. How can you explore its origins to appreciate its significance more deeply? [06:06]
3. How can you ensure that your marriage or future marriage is grounded in the covenantal nature described in the sermon, involving both God and your community? [21:49]
4. In what ways can you address loneliness in your life or the lives of others, considering the biblical purpose of marriage? [12:19]
5. How do you navigate the balance between personal happiness and the commitments made in marriage, especially when facing challenges? [23:24]
6. Identify one area where you might be treating marriage as a private matter rather than a public covenant. How can you involve your community or faith in this aspect? [20:04]
7. Think of a time when you felt vulnerable in a relationship. How can you use that experience to strengthen your commitment and understanding of marriage as described in the sermon? [24:48]

Devotional

Day 1: Marriage as a Divine Covenant
Marriage is not merely a social construct but a divine institution ordained by God. This understanding elevates marriage beyond a personal or cultural arrangement to a sacred covenant with divine purpose. The creation narrative in Genesis reveals that marriage was instituted to address human loneliness, with God declaring, "It is not good that man should be alone." This divine malediction against loneliness underscores the purpose of marriage as a means for human fulfillment and intimacy. Recognizing marriage as a divine covenant helps us appreciate its sacredness and purpose, which is to provide companionship and fulfillment in alignment with God's design. [07:45]

Genesis 2:18-24 (ESV): "Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.' Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man."

Reflection: How does viewing marriage as a divine covenant change your perspective on relationships and commitments in your life today?


Day 2: The Importance of Understanding Tradition
Traditions hold deep meaning and purpose, and without understanding their roots, they become precarious and can easily be discarded. The story of Tevye from "Fiddler on the Roof" illustrates the precariousness of traditions that lack understanding. Traditions, like a fiddler on a roof, can easily fall if not grounded in their original purpose. In the Christian context, marriage is not just a tradition but a covenant ordained by God. Understanding the roots and significance of traditions can help us appreciate their value and purpose, preventing them from being discarded without consideration. [06:06]

Jeremiah 6:16 (ESV): "Thus says the Lord: 'Stand by the roads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls. But they said, ‘We will not walk in it.’"

Reflection: What is one tradition in your life that you may have overlooked or discarded? How can you seek to understand its original purpose and significance today?


Day 3: The Public and Sacred Nature of Marriage
Marriage is a covenant, a public and sacred agreement made before God and witnesses. This covenantal nature emphasizes the seriousness and commitment involved, distinguishing it from private promises. The public declaration of vows signifies a commitment that goes beyond private promises, involving the community and God as witnesses. This understanding of marriage as a public covenant regulated by God's commandments helps us navigate its complexities with grace and commitment. [21:49]

Malachi 2:14-15 (ESV): "But you say, 'Why does he not?' Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth."

Reflection: How can you honor the public and sacred nature of marriage in your own relationships or in supporting others in their marriages today?


Day 4: Embracing Vulnerability in Marriage
Marriage involves our deepest emotions and vulnerabilities, offering the potential for both profound joy and deep pain. Recognizing this can help us approach marriage with the seriousness and commitment it deserves. The covenantal nature of marriage is crucial because it involves our deepest emotions and vulnerabilities, offering the potential for both profound joy and deep pain. Embracing vulnerability in marriage allows for deeper intimacy and connection, aligning with God's design for human relationships. [24:48]

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (ESV): "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken."

Reflection: In what ways can you embrace vulnerability in your relationships today, allowing for deeper connection and intimacy?


Day 5: Guided by God's Commandments
God's commandments regulate marriage, not to restrict but to guide us towards fulfillment and happiness. This regulation aligns with God's glory and helps us navigate the complexities of marriage with grace. Understanding the divine origin and covenantal nature of marriage can help us appreciate its sacredness and navigate its challenges with grace and commitment. By aligning our relationships with God's commandments, we can experience the fulfillment and happiness that marriage is designed to provide. [20:04]

Psalm 119:105-106 (ESV): "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. I have sworn an oath and confirmed it, to keep your righteous rules."

Reflection: How can you align your relationships with God's commandments today, seeking His guidance and wisdom in navigating challenges?

Quotes


And as I thought of that traditional wedding ceremony, I realized that a great deal of thought and care had been filled in each word, and so we have a tradition that has developed in this wedding service. But we have all felt the tension in our culture, as young people more and more are saying no to the traditional wedding ceremony and to the whole traditional concept of marriage. [00:02:00]

A tradition that is not understood, a tradition that is empty of its roots is a precarious as a man trying to dance and fiddle on a roof like that. Sooner or later it will fall, and it will be destroyed. Now the Christian has to ask this question: Why do we have a traditional order for marriage? Why do we have marriage at all? [00:06:34]

We are told in that wedding ceremony that marriage is ordained and instituted by God -- that is to say that marriage is not something that just springs up arbitrarily out of social conventions or human taboos. Marriage is not invented by men. Marriage is ordained and instituted by God. [00:07:30]

His first malediction is directed against the situation of human loneliness, and so we ask, "Why marriage?" God provides an answer to human loneliness. I remember the Danish philosopher Soren Kirkegaard, who wrote frequently about the pain of human experience, and Kirkegaard said that there's a -- there's a time for solitude. [00:12:19]

And God said, "And the man shall leave his father and his mother, and he shall cleave to his wife." God ordained marriage, not as punishment, not as ball-and-chain bondage, but for human fulfillment, for intimacy -- the finest expression of what it means to be a human being in this world. [00:17:54]

God regulates marriage, and He institutes it in a certain format. The first thing we have to understand about this regulation is that God creates marriage in the form of a covenant. Now dear friends, the whole idea of a covenant is rooted very, very deeply in biblical Christianity. [00:20:04]

A covenant is simply an agreement, a contract between two or more persons, and at the heart of a covenant is a promise. Now in biblical terms, every covenant had stipulations. It had provisions -- rules, if you will -- that had to be kept for the covenant to stay intact. [00:20:49]

In the Bible there was no such thing as a private covenant. A covenant was something that was undertaken in the presence of witnesses. How many times have you heard young people say, "Why do I have to go through a marriage ceremony? Say a few words, sign a piece of paper -- what difference does it make? [00:21:28]

You take vows -- sacred vows, holy vows, and you make a commitment that if you don't take it seriously, maybe your parents will take it seriously, or your friends. I once was involved in counseling a divorce case that involved a triangle, and I was pleading with this woman who was involved in this triangle to break this relationship and return to her husband. [00:22:44]

I would say that marriage is the most precious of all human institutions we have. It's also the most dangerous. It's dangerous because it's into our marriage that we pour our greatest and deepest feelings of expectations. That's where our emotions are on the line. That's where we are most vulnerable, as we will see in the lectures that will follow this one. [00:24:48]

That's where we can achieve the greatest happiness, but it's also where we can achieve the greatest disappointments, the most frustration, and the most pain. That's why, if I am going to enter into a relationship where there's that much at stake, I need something more than a superficial, "Hey, yeah. I'm committed. [00:25:29]

But something has been lost about the sacred and holy character of the vow and of the covenant that is regulated by God's commandments. It's for our happiness, but it's also for His glory. [00:26:43]

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Transcript
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