Understanding the Divine Covenant of Marriage

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And as I thought of that traditional wedding ceremony, I realized that a great deal of thought and care had been filled in each word, and so we have a tradition that has developed in this wedding service. But we have all felt the tension in our culture, as young people more and more are saying no to the traditional wedding ceremony and to the whole traditional concept of marriage. [00:02:00]

A tradition that is not understood, a tradition that is empty of its roots is a precarious as a man trying to dance and fiddle on a roof like that. Sooner or later it will fall, and it will be destroyed. Now the Christian has to ask this question: Why do we have a traditional order for marriage? Why do we have marriage at all? [00:06:34]

We are told in that wedding ceremony that marriage is ordained and instituted by God -- that is to say that marriage is not something that just springs up arbitrarily out of social conventions or human taboos. Marriage is not invented by men. Marriage is ordained and instituted by God. [00:07:30]

His first malediction is directed against the situation of human loneliness, and so we ask, "Why marriage?" God provides an answer to human loneliness. I remember the Danish philosopher Soren Kirkegaard, who wrote frequently about the pain of human experience, and Kirkegaard said that there's a -- there's a time for solitude. [00:12:19]

And God said, "And the man shall leave his father and his mother, and he shall cleave to his wife." God ordained marriage, not as punishment, not as ball-and-chain bondage, but for human fulfillment, for intimacy -- the finest expression of what it means to be a human being in this world. [00:17:54]

God regulates marriage, and He institutes it in a certain format. The first thing we have to understand about this regulation is that God creates marriage in the form of a covenant. Now dear friends, the whole idea of a covenant is rooted very, very deeply in biblical Christianity. [00:20:04]

A covenant is simply an agreement, a contract between two or more persons, and at the heart of a covenant is a promise. Now in biblical terms, every covenant had stipulations. It had provisions -- rules, if you will -- that had to be kept for the covenant to stay intact. [00:20:49]

In the Bible there was no such thing as a private covenant. A covenant was something that was undertaken in the presence of witnesses. How many times have you heard young people say, "Why do I have to go through a marriage ceremony? Say a few words, sign a piece of paper -- what difference does it make? [00:21:28]

You take vows -- sacred vows, holy vows, and you make a commitment that if you don't take it seriously, maybe your parents will take it seriously, or your friends. I once was involved in counseling a divorce case that involved a triangle, and I was pleading with this woman who was involved in this triangle to break this relationship and return to her husband. [00:22:44]

I would say that marriage is the most precious of all human institutions we have. It's also the most dangerous. It's dangerous because it's into our marriage that we pour our greatest and deepest feelings of expectations. That's where our emotions are on the line. That's where we are most vulnerable, as we will see in the lectures that will follow this one. [00:24:48]

That's where we can achieve the greatest happiness, but it's also where we can achieve the greatest disappointments, the most frustration, and the most pain. That's why, if I am going to enter into a relationship where there's that much at stake, I need something more than a superficial, "Hey, yeah. I'm committed. [00:25:29]

But something has been lost about the sacred and holy character of the vow and of the covenant that is regulated by God's commandments. It's for our happiness, but it's also for His glory. [00:26:43]

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