Understanding God's Heart on Marriage and Divorce

 

Summary

In today's sermon, we delved into the complex and sensitive topic of marriage, divorce, and remarriage, seeking to rightly divide the Word of God and understand His heart on these matters. We explored the Mosaic Law and the Mishnah to gain insight into how the people of Moses' day would have understood these issues, and how this understanding informs our perspective today.

We began by acknowledging that marriage is a covenant established by God, intended to be permanent and characterized by faithfulness. However, we also recognized that there are biblical grounds for divorce, such as adultery, desertion, and cruelty, which were considered "indecencies" in the context of Mosaic Law. We examined Deuteronomy 24 and Exodus 21, which provide the backdrop for Jesus' teachings in Matthew 19, and we saw that Moses' laws were protective of women, ensuring they were not treated as property and could be freed from an abusive or neglectful husband.

We confronted the reality that the church has not always handled the issues of marriage, divorce, and remarriage correctly, sometimes treating those who have been divorced with scorn and judgment rather than with the love and forgiveness that Christ extends to all. We were reminded that while God does not delight in divorce, He loves and forgives those who have been through it, and we must do the same.

As we navigate these topics, we must avoid both legalistic restrictions that lack compassion and liberal leanings that distort God's design for marriage. We must strive for a biblical understanding that upholds the sanctity of marriage while also recognizing the justifiable reasons for divorce and the possibility of remarriage in the Lord.

Key Takeaways:

1. Marriage is a divine covenant, a sacred bond that reflects God's faithfulness to us. It is not merely a human agreement but a commitment made before and with God. As such, it should be entered into with reverence and upheld with steadfast love and devotion. The permanence of marriage mirrors the eternal covenant we have with Christ, built on love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness.

2. Divorce, while not part of God's original design for marriage, is permitted in Scripture for specific reasons, such as adultery, desertion, and cruelty. These "indecencies" are not to be taken lightly, and the decision to divorce should always be weighed with prayerful consideration and a heart seeking God's will. The church must offer support and guidance to those facing such difficult circumstances, always pointing them towards restoration and healing where possible.

3. The church must be a place of refuge and healing for those who have experienced the pain of divorce. We must extend grace and forgiveness, recognizing that we all fall short and are in need of Christ's redeeming love. The church should never elevate one sin above another but should offer the same compassion and mercy to all who repent and seek God's face.

4. Our understanding of marriage, divorce, and remarriage must be rooted in a thorough and contextual study of Scripture. We must be willing to challenge deeply held traditions and interpretations that may not align with the heart of God as revealed in His Word. This requires humility and a willingness to learn and grow in our understanding.

5. As we seek to apply biblical principles to modern-day situations, we must do so with wisdom and discernment. While the cultural context has changed since the days of Moses, the principles of dignity, respect, and faithfulness remain. We must navigate these issues with a heart that seeks to honor God and uphold the dignity of every individual made in His image.

In conclusion, let us commit ourselves to upholding the sanctity of marriage, extending grace to those who have experienced divorce, and seeking God's wisdom in all matters of marriage, divorce, and remarriage. May our hearts and actions reflect the love and compassion of Christ, who is faithful to us in all circumstances.

Study Guide

### Bible Study Discussion Guide

#### Bible Reading
1. Deuteronomy 24:1-4 - "If a man marries a woman but she becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, he may write her a divorce certificate, hand it to her and send her away from his house. If after leaving his house she becomes the wife of another man, and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a divorce certificate, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord. Do not bring sin upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance."

2. Exodus 21:8-11 - "If she does not please the master who has selected her for himself, he must let her be redeemed. He has no right to sell her to foreigners, because he has broken faith with her. If he selects her for his son, he must grant her the rights of a daughter. If he marries another woman, he must not deprive the first one of her food, clothing and marital rights. If he does not provide her with these three things, she is to go free, without any payment of money."

3. Matthew 19:6 - "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate."

#### Observation Questions
1. According to Deuteronomy 24:1-4, what are the conditions under which a man could divorce his wife, and what restrictions are placed on remarriage?
2. In Exodus 21:8-11, what rights are given to a woman who is not treated properly by her husband?
3. What does Matthew 19:6 emphasize about the nature of marriage? How does this align with the idea of marriage as a covenant? [01:12:08]
4. How did the sermon describe the church's historical treatment of divorced individuals, and what change was suggested? [01:00:04]

#### Interpretation Questions
1. What does the term "indecency" in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 imply about the grounds for divorce in the Mosaic Law? How might this have been interpreted differently in Jesus' time? [01:16:00]
2. How does the protection of women's rights in Exodus 21:8-11 reflect God's concern for justice and dignity? What implications does this have for modern-day applications? [01:23:02]
3. In Matthew 19:6, Jesus emphasizes the permanence of marriage. How does this statement challenge both legalistic and liberal views on divorce and remarriage? [01:12:08]
4. The sermon mentioned that the church should be a place of refuge and healing for those who have experienced divorce. How can this principle be practically applied in church communities today? [01:00:04]

#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on your understanding of marriage as a covenant. How does viewing marriage as a divine covenant change your perspective on its permanence and sanctity? [01:11:48]
2. Have you or someone you know experienced judgment or scorn from the church due to divorce? How can you contribute to creating a more compassionate and supportive environment in your church? [01:00:04]
3. The sermon emphasized the need for a balanced approach to marriage, divorce, and remarriage, avoiding both legalism and liberalism. How can you apply this balanced perspective in your personal life or in advising others? [01:01:04]
4. Consider the biblical grounds for divorce mentioned in the sermon (adultery, desertion, cruelty). How can you support someone who is facing these difficult circumstances in a way that aligns with biblical principles? [01:16:00]
5. The sermon highlighted the importance of extending grace and forgiveness to those who have been divorced. How can you practice this in your interactions with divorced individuals in your church or community? [01:00:04]
6. Reflect on the idea that deeply held traditions and interpretations may not always align with the heart of God as revealed in Scripture. Are there any traditions or beliefs you hold that you need to re-evaluate in light of this sermon? [01:30:33]
7. How can you actively participate in making your church a place of refuge and healing for those who have experienced the pain of divorce? What specific actions can you take to extend grace and support? [01:00:04]

Devotional

Day 1: Covenant of Divine Commitment
Marriage is not merely a social contract; it is a divine covenant that mirrors the steadfast love and faithfulness God shows to His people. When entering into marriage, individuals are making a commitment before God to uphold the sacred bond with reverence, love, and devotion. This covenant is a reflection of the eternal relationship between Christ and the Church, one that is built on grace, mercy, and forgiveness. It is essential to recognize the weight of this promise and to strive to maintain the integrity of this bond through all of life's challenges and joys.

"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the LORD, who has compassion on you." - Isaiah 54:10

Reflection: How does viewing your marriage or future marriage as a divine covenant change the way you approach your relationship?

Day 2: Divorce: A Concession to Human Frailty
While divorce was never part of the original design for marriage, it is acknowledged in Scripture as a concession due to human sinfulness. The Bible provides specific circumstances under which divorce is permitted, recognizing the reality of broken relationships due to severe transgressions such as adultery, desertion, and cruelty. These situations are not to be taken lightly, and the decision to divorce should be approached with solemn reflection, seeking God's guidance and wisdom. The church's role is to support and counsel those in such painful circumstances, always aiming for restoration and healing, while also acknowledging the complexities of each individual case.

"If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town." - Deuteronomy 21:18-19

Reflection: If you or someone you know is considering divorce, have you sought God's wisdom and guidance through prayer and counsel from wise believers?

Day 3: Grace for the Brokenhearted
The church must be a sanctuary for those wounded by the pain of divorce, offering the same grace and forgiveness that Christ extends to all who repent. It is crucial to remember that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and thus, no one sin should be elevated above another. The church should be a place where individuals can find compassion, mercy, and the opportunity for a fresh start, reflecting the redemptive love of Christ who makes all things new.

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." - Psalm 147:3

Reflection: How can you be an agent of grace and healing to someone who has experienced the heartbreak of divorce?

Day 4: Rooted in Scripture, Open to Understanding
Our beliefs and practices regarding marriage, divorce, and remarriage must be firmly grounded in Scripture, requiring us to examine the context and content of biblical teachings thoroughly. It is important to challenge traditions and interpretations that may not align with God's heart, as revealed in His Word. This pursuit of truth demands humility and a willingness to grow in understanding, always seeking to apply God's principles to our lives and relationships in a way that honors Him.

"Get wisdom; get insight; do not forget, and do not turn away from the words of my mouth." - Proverbs 4:5

Reflection: Are there any long-held beliefs about marriage or divorce that you need to re-evaluate in light of Scripture?

Day 5: Navigating Modern Relationships with Ancient Wisdom
While the cultural context has evolved since the days of Moses, the principles of dignity, respect, and faithfulness remain timeless. As believers, we are called to navigate contemporary issues of marriage, divorce, and remarriage with wisdom and discernment, always aiming to honor God and uphold the value of every person made in His image. This requires a delicate balance of upholding biblical truths while also being sensitive to the complexities of human relationships in today's world.

"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." - Genesis 1:27

Reflection: How can you apply the timeless principles of dignity, respect, and faithfulness in your relationships today?

Quotes

- "Mosaic Law protected the women and their families in that day... Moses' laws were protective of women, ensuring they were not treated as property." [01:29:34] (Download | )

- "We need to strive to have a proper view of marriage, divorce, and remarriage in a broken world because it impacts each and every one of us." [01:33:46] (Download | Download cropped video)

- "Divorce does have consequences... sometimes divorce is sinful, sometimes divorce is justifiable, but it's always painful." [01:32:51] (Download | )

- "We must allow, though, to have and know these exceptions and realize that Jesus himself actually gave some exceptions." [01:13:06] (Download | )

- "The church has not always gotten this right... In many ways, we've gotten marriage, divorce, and remarriage wrong." [56:51] (Download | )

- "God does not like divorce, but he doesn't hate those who have been divorced... God loves people." [59:28] (Download | )

- "We need to be careful not to treat divorce like a greater sin than any other sin... We do not treat any sin different than another sin when someone repents and someone turns to Jesus." [01:03:00] (Download | )

- "I assume that all of us want to honor God... I assume you want to honor God in your marriage." [01:02:17] (Download | )

- "I believe that good people can differ on this topic... Some will follow what they have always been taught their entire lives, and no matter what I say today, I won't change you." [01:06:52] (Download | )

- "Moses is trying to make sure that he defends the family and defends the woman, allowing for a divorce and allowing her to remarry and have a life." [01:19:39] (Download | )

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Transcript
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