Understanding Gender Roles Through a Biblical Lens

"Now it's good that we look at this this is um it's an issue that often some parts of the church are a bit embarrassed about about what the Bible says about um Orthodox teaching of the Bible our culture I think is slightly swung a little bit from a guilt culture to a to a shame culture perhaps that's to do with social media and then we can look into other people's lives and so that means what's right and wrong in our culture is often decided by the people around us and we feel right or wrong depending on what people looking in might want to say and that affects the church doesn't it so there are some parts of the church that will what they'll want to do is come to the Bible but read it Through The Eyes of the world if you like putting on the glasses of the world and saying right how should I read my Bible now because of course so much time has moved on and how can I understand the Bible Through The Eyes of My Own culture well I want to suggest that's the wrong way round because the Bible tells us we should read the world through the word so we put on the the glasses of God's word to look at the world and see ah so now it makes sense that is how we we come to the Bible so we don't start with what we think should feel right and then try and make the theology fit around it that leads to all sorts of difficult things in our culture we've tried to um rework things and and things shift and change uh not least language where we start to redefine words don't we so um we redefine words whether it's marriage or phobia or love or hatred they all they they've all changed they all mean a different thing to what they did 2030 100 years ago but I want to suggest that God has not been caught out by thousands of years of human culture." [00:24:02]

"God has created us sacred that is by God and for God that humanity is so special so precious very simple points sex and gender therefore is created and therefore it's given that sex and gender is a given Thing To Us by God which is in complete contrast isn't it to parts of our culture that want to say that sex and gender is authored by ourselves and we get to decide it seems a simple point but it's really going to come up against um opposition in our current climate but that is the implication isn't it I think from what Genesis 1 is saying and there's three things that we can see from that that we're created as sacred we're created equal different and interdependent Humanity you notice is men and women together we saw that a few weeks ago when we looked at marriage the one thing that was not good was that Humanity was a man just Adam that was the thing that was not good and so God creates a helper again go back and and have a listen if you can um we we thought about that word particularly as well Chapter 2 Verse 18 of Genesis have a look down the Lord God said it is not good for the man to be alone I will make a helper suitable for him now that phrase suitable is trying to translate an idea in the original which is really saying something like a like opposite I will create a helper opposite him like opposite equal and corresponding we looked briefly um again hopefully not to rush through too much but that that word helper is is is or or Isa um in the Hebrew and it's strong so so if you have those ideas of a 1950s housewife you got to kick them out of your brain right now because this word is is a strong one we saw that it was um it was more of a a military ally someone standing shoulder toos shoulder and so if we're created that equality therefore is given and it's not earned and I know that will be hard for some of us who have not been treated equally and feel that we've had to prove it and to behave and to and to have particular ways of being in our life which express that equality but I want to reassure you that the equality is given it's innate because you are a human being made in God's image whether you are a man or whether you are a woman our equality is given it's not earned or displayed by Behavior and so therefore as men and women I think it probably goes without saying we just need to treat each other better don't we just in the world and even in church because we're not I take it by definition we're not doing that perfectly but we don't need to treat each other better because the world tells us okay some of the um some of the things in the world we we might not agree with but it is good that people are talking about equality it is good that people are calling out stuff it is good that people want to fight the corner of women particularly that is good but we don't treat each other better because the world tells us to we treat each other better because God tells us to we're equal secondly we're different so this right fit this this suitable like opposite helper for Adam is different so it's not good to be a for a man to be alone that's what that's what we've just read so what does God do does does he create another pal a mate for him some more men will they disappear into their man cave and and drink beer and play computer games some of you thinking that sounds quite good that's not that's not what happens God creates a woman because the man and the woman together complete that picture of humanity now that's not just in in marriage that that is a a particular circumstance obviously but as Humanity men and women us together we image God so a whole load of men just together if that was Humanity would not image God if it was a whole load of women and no men that would not um image our Our God our God who is himself three in one who has difference equality plurality yet Unity even our biology will tell us that we're different whether you're a man or woman XX chromosomes XY chromosomes every part of our body is gendered I suppose if you want to put it like that I have male eyelashes and a male liver and male toenails it's all the way through not just reproductive organs and we saw as well when we looked at um uh marriage a few weeks ago that in Genesis 2 there are different roles so God has indicated a role for Adam in Genesis 2 he tells Adam you must not eat of the tree of the knowledge of Good and Evil he gives Adam before the woman has even been made his law and Adam therefore then is is the representative head of all humanity and we we see that in the Book of Romans that Paul picks that up that that all humanity is is in Adam he says and also in his relationship with Eve um he is the the family head with primary responsibility there so equal and different but what that therefore means is thirdly interdependent I hope that's a sort of a an obvious implication from those two things that only men and women can fulfill God's purpose for Humanity Genesis 1: 28 God blessed them and said to them be fruitful in increasing number fill bu the Earth and subdue it now there is a there is an obvious interdependence in filling the Earth by logically we're going to need men and women to make more humans but it's more than that it's more than that men don't need need women just because they can bear children it it's deeper than that and we need one another in church to be sisters brothers uncles aunties friends so firstly created is sacred equal different interdependent that we complement one another the secondly we are broken by sin each and every one of us we looked at the fall a few weeks ago and we saw how sin has ruptured and fractured and broken our entire world it has brought God's judgment and curse into the world so that the world itself is broken and it's probably worth saying at this point the things that that hurt and the things that we feel broken by in this area are real there will be people that suffer a genuine gender dysphoria that that is that hurt is real there are people who will have suffered at the hands of a man or a woman and that is real but your worth hasn't changed so yes the world is broken but your worth in God's eyes has not changed whether you've had that experience whether you're struggling with something in that area even this morning your worth has not changed don't let the actions of others Define Who You Are because if you're a human being you have been made in the image of almighty God and if you belong to the Lord Jesus you are being remade In His Image and are a child of God and he can restore any one of us whatever your struggle whatever your past he can do that we saw in Genesis 3 when we looked at the four we saw um Adam's responsibility as as uh head of humanity come to the four um in verse 8 of chapter 3 the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day and they hid from the Lord God Among the Trees of the garden they've disobeyed God and the Lord God Called to the man yes we read that it was Eve that first day of that fruit but it is God who says to the man what's going on and in Adam we all Echo and affirm that same sin that same sin that we saw as defining for ourselves what right and wrong is that is what we're like naturally in in our sinful self every single one of us whether we're a man or a woman we like to Define right and wrong for ourselves and so therefore when God comes along and and has the audacity as the creator of the whole universe to suggest that he might Define right and wrong and our identity and the structuring of humanity and what that's like that becomes a real affront to us doesn't it and that is what's happening do you see how the Bible is helping us to to look at the world correctly what is happening out there why are some of these things so controversial because it is an aont to our pride that we like Adam actually know we'll say what's right and wrong thank you very much and we we saw and in Genesis uh when we looked at the fall God brings a a a judgment or or curses the World chapter 3:1 16 to the woman he said I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing with pain you will give birth to Children your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you to Adam he said because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you you must not eat of it cursed is the ground because of you through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life and we'll come back to that last uh phrase next week when we look at work and rest but it's not quite that Adam and Eve are cursed the the childbearing um has a a consequence to it and the looking after and subduing the Earth has a consequence to it so the very things which God wanted Humanity to do in His image as God formed the Earth and he filled it and we're to do the same to subdue and form this this this world to explore it and to fill it is now cursed it's gone wrong and we saw in verse um 16 there have a look down that that God has said to the woman your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you again go back and have a listen to that um when we looked at the fall but that idea of of Desire there is the one to to overtake to say actually no I should be where you are I will I will take there are those particular Tendencies to our fallen Behavior now of course as men and women we can all do these things but I think here there is a suggestion that there are those Tendencies as men and women of how we'll behave towards one another so what will the man do well he will rule over you and that's not a good rule this is not a commendation or a command this is God saying now that you're in the Fallen World this is what it's going to look like we've already seen Adam not step up to the mark in looking after his wife and kicking the devil out the garden and not listening to him and now we'll see that he'll use his position uh whether it's because he he thinks he has a right as a husband or because he's stronger as a man to exert that rule over and that is what we see in the world again the Bible is helping us to see the world putting those glasses on what has gone wrong with the world this has gone wrong with the world what has gone wrong with men this has gone wrong with men abdication and tyranny and unfortunately guys outside of Jesus that's going to be our natural bent isn't it maybe not all the time or in all situations but that's chilling isn't it how horrible the abdication maybe that's men not stepping up to the mark not taping responsibility it's it's checking out perhaps women you even recognize that and that rule exerting that in a in a in in a completely wrong and oppressive way if you want a good example of of of that sort of bad rule well perhaps you might have seen it in the white house this week that's a kind of Genesis 3 man ruling isn't it the big man and to shout over you whether you're man or woman that's not good it might be that um some of you want to talk about that afterwards or talk to me as well I I I don't think I want to say too much more about um about that what that means for um the woman's desire will be for your husband don't want to caricature or anything like that so um yeah educate me talk with one another but it also means I think we don't want to form any um uh assumptions okay let's not do that let's be generous to one another let's not um assume that that that all men are going to be horrible tyrants and lazy and let's not assume that all women are going to be usurping temptresses that wouldn't be fair with it and I I've been reading this book and first come first served you're welcome to borrow it afterwards um that I found very helpful it's called embracing complementarianism that's the The View that that I mentioned earlier there's some good quotes in here and one of them is this that that that the writers say Christians should see it is sin that is toxic not gender that's really helpful isn't it thirdly we're restored in the son uh Galatians chapter 3 and you come very quickly with me to the to the New Testament Paul is arguing in the book of Galatians that there is there is no distinction between Jew and Gentile uh because it's not by the law that the Jews have in which we're saved and uh in in chapter 3: 26 Paul writes this you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus for you all were baptized into Christ who have clothed yourselves with Christ there is neither Jew nor Greek slave nor free male nor female for you are all one in Christ Jesus if you belong to Christ then you are Abraham's seed and HS according to the promise what he's saying is that it's not you are you are all one there's no male or female he's not saying it's suddenly all gender fluid he's saying it doesn't matter who you are man or woman Jew or Gentile you are made new you come in Union with Christ that is how you are saved that God is saving all people without distinction so he's not eliminating uh those differences but he's eliminating the disparity and salvation that everyone is made righteous at the cross and that is good news that all of us as men and women are restored in Christ let's see if we can uh run as quick as we can through some implications of these areas of life which you might want to think about this in the world I hope we can see that the that in the world the church can offer an alternative in all of this so in fact we don't have to to to to pick sides we can affirm some of the leadings of the world when the world is pushing us to redress inequality that will often be a really good thing and we can affirm that but we don't have to affirm it all the time we don't have to affirm all the leanings of the world one more quote from here uh this is this is uh uh from a writer called Sarah Suna who says Christians don't have to be feminists in order to believe in social justice feminism is not something that must be added to Christianity in order for the church to honor women the gospel itself is pro women anyone who thinks that treating women fairly is a feminist thing to do not a Christian thing to do doesn't understand Christianity I think that's quite helpful we can affirm but we don't have to affirm everything we don't we don't need to blur gender together and we don't need to set the Sexes opposite each other in church we can be confident because we've been stored in in the Sun that our identity is in Christ and and not in stereotypes we can actually um move away from stereotypes I think in a way that our culture often can't if you're a if you're a young girl and you've got short hair and you like climbing trees you're probably going to get called a tomboy because for some reason that's got associations being a boy which even even en bighton didn't know that knew that didn't she with George's got short hair and climbed trees don't make you a boy and actually that's and and and even when we do use that term that's positive I don't know of a similar positive term for a young boy who hates football and likes crochet do you do you know have a positive term no but we can be confident in Christ not to lean on on on these stereotypes we can display human as God intended as men and women together we can covern the Earth as God intended we can be called to Godliness not gender final quote from this book which I think is helpful call to Godliness not gender yet call to Godliness expressed through gender because we are different we're going to need one another us men we need to see godliness expressed um by our sisters here and the same is true um for for the women and that we can express our godliness through our gender church church I think of church like this church is Humanity the right way up we've seen in Genesis 3 that that church is like an that humanity is now like a capsized ship because the devil has flipped everything up around and the church is God bringing Humanity the right way up and and one of the the the ways in which that happens and we touched on this in a question time that we heard it um uh those few weeks back is how the the oversight of the church so Paul the Apostle Paul in the book of one Timothy and Titus um has shows that God has designated Elders in the church to be met now that's the uncomfortable bit isn't it that that that is what the Bible uh says that that oversight role is given to qualified men not all men and so this I think we can see as part of God resetting the resetting of Genesis 2 that was flipped over when the devil came in and he attacked the woman and he usur God's Authority and Adam's responsibility but here is God beginning to to to write that up the right way but that is only a specific thing that is to do with the oversight of the church and the church it's it's the dynamic between people come and speak to me about it about it later we can perhaps you might want to read Acts 20 you can begin to see the idea of the overseer and the Elder they overlap that's the the same thing and their role what they do is sheering and that is what uh God has called some men to in the church and we saw in our our our question time a few weeks back that Paul seems to ground the argument his his his way of thinking in Genesis 2 and 3 he talks about how it how it was the woman who was deceived not the man now come talk we we dealt with this in a question time it does not mean um that that men are better he talks about the man being made first it doesn't mean that being made first is is better but it is the way that God structures it in fact the rest of the Bible overturns um a lot of this being first it people think it's better cultures do think that but God chooses Jacob not Esau um he uses Joseph he uses David that seems to be the way that that the Bible is telling us um that that the the church is is formed and and has oversight but it is not without we cannot lose the female voice that doesn't mean that that that everything comes down from from a few men and and everyone else just has got to live with it not least the fact we hope that we um we recognize Elders um who have a a Godly home life Godly wives that doesn't mean uh in a negative way that the wives can have the ears of the elders but it can mean it in a positive way because when you get an elder you get a partnership you get a man and a woman together and um just as a side note encouraging thing uh to me we spent um 18 months two years looking for a job going to various interviews the interview here at this church was the only interview in which Lauren my wife Lauren was also invited which spoke volumes we thought that was good news good news for you guys but it does speak volumes and that over side is just one one bit of church life that that to lead us we need each other it might be in Bible studies mixed voices that we're hearing um is there somewhere in your life that you'll be ministered to by someone of the opposite sex who is not your spouse is that the case at all that' be worth thinking about wouldn't it going to mention very briefly we have a a St stff team here some people talk to me about my my new job and they say have you got a staff team and I say well there's three of us and and they respond by thinking that that's good in the sense that I'm a sort of some sort of Boss when I've got a couple of people that that work for me and and it it's just not like that I mean the best thing about her staff team might be that it's not just me on my own but personally best thing about it is that it's mixed two men and a woman and that's that's good I listening to different voices and opinions we'll move on won't embarrass Jenny anymore and these specific roles I think also mean that those those relationships between men and women that we just looked at there is not Universal I do not think that the Bible is saying um that that that outworking of of oversight in the church is equal to the world some people would would go that some people would say that I don't think that was what the Bible's saying that women have every right and ab and uh ability to be a CEO to be prime minister to lead but here in the church God has designed and ordained and intended and redeemed a specific structure to enable the flourishing of all Humanity just like he intended back in Genesis 2 so that the overseeing of the local church and the primary responsibility for the family is the beginning of human flourishing not the goal of human flourishing does that make sense so that oversight that's not the be all and end all that's just the beginning that we would all flourish another implication um we might take it is let's not make Church how we serve in church the be all and end all either because actually we want to be equipped here to go back out into the world to do that co- governing that Genesis 1 is talking about if you like the church is kind of the engine room or perhaps it's like the the the football team dressing room to get us ready to go out there and serve God but there are bad versions of doing this and I know we're desperately running over time but I don't want to um skip any of these uh these points here particularly to say that some of these things have worked out in a bad way and particularly women have felt ignored and downtrodden and if that's your experience then I'm really sorry that's your experience and I hope that it won't be here and in the future um challenging quote from uh Christian Author Jen Wilkin let me read you this this is from uh a Blog which she wrote I have no desire to minimize the role of Pastor it's vitally important but I don't think it's good for Christians to fixate on it at the expense of other roles we need some hands and feet to go with all these heads and many of them are female the sisters Among Us are wondering when we'll be able to tangibly demonstrate equal value in the local church not just a affirm this value with our words if a young man of obvious Ministry ability and gifting showed up on the doorstep of your church who would you put him in contact with how would you help him find his place in Ministry what opportunities would you seek out for him to cultivate his gifts and gain Ministry experience what hopes would you have for him as a leader now ask yourselves the same question for women if the fact that she will never fill the P fill a pull pit means you cannot imagine a Ministry trajectory for her something is wrong what Ministry might she build and run what place on your executive staff might she fill what committee needs her her what committee needs her leadership what role in the Sunday Gathering needs her voice and example where her teaching gift can be leveraged what blind spot or planning dilemma can she speak into what mission effort can she Spearhead that's challenging isn't it in fact one of the most challenging things was to discover that that's 10 years old perhaps we should have moved on from there I think many of you will be sat here thinking I don't think we have let's pray that we can lastly one Timothy um reminds us of the connection between that oversight and the home so the the qualified man is has to have that home life if he can't look after his household how can he look after the household of God and so in the home marriage as man and woman again echoing complimentary is a reunion of woman and man reunited you remember we looked weeks back the woman was taken from the man and marriage should speak of Christ and the church we can go back uh and listen to that we can talk more about that that but similarly men uh the Bible tells us is are called to that primary responsibility in the household to sacrificially love his wife and to respect her Ephesians 5 Colossians 3 that men and women just as in Genesis 1 and 2 um would function well and therefore be able to do that job of Imaging God but not only that of displaying the gospel and what does that mean when you look at those passages there's no commands that the man has got to give that primary responsibility to be a man God then doesn't say yeah so whatever you say goes that's not how it works it's not to be dictating it's not to be micromanaging it's not to be monopolizing it doesn't mean that you have the loudest voice in the room with the best ideas it means Christlike shepherding that guides and instructs the family to Godliness just as we hope it would do in the church maybe that means the husband Fanning into flames the better ideas and Superior capability of his wife maybe that's what it means and here again we need to say in the home that sin and our fallen world and often and sometimes not our fault or doing at all has broken some of these things where marriages fail um some of us may be single parents some of us will have struggled with childless marriage not our fault but here we are in a broken world and and God's grace can meet you there and let's help one another help one another through that there are things that have gone horribly wrong and God cares about how these principles have been abused God cares about how strength and Authority have been abused and and women it does not mean you have to suffer that I just want to say that and if that's something that's going on don't suffer in silence there are authorities to go to We There are there is a safeguarding team here there may be things that seem like they go under the radar but I can tell you for certain nothing goes under God's radar and any misuse of God's ways of your or your given strength or whatever it is God is not pleased with that at all and neither should we be so okay last minute here we are um there are some broad principles but I don't think that the Bible is particularly specific about how they work out about the husband being the buck stops here and the primary responsibility okay I don't think there are particular ways that that works out maybe that will look different in times and cultures I I don't I don't think that's saying the Bible's not saying well the husband's the bread winner and and the wife keeps the diary doesn't say that we're free to work some of those things out and actually perhaps we can break through the gender stereotypes in a way that the world cannot so finally how do you see the opposite sex do you see the opposite sex as Jesus does read through the life of Jesus see how he treats women see how he treats men have we fallen into ways of thinking about each other because of our culture or our tradition or even a desire to Buck tradition and to be antagonistic do we have blind spots I want us to remember as well that as men and women God asks no more of us as men and women than what Jesus has done men husbands sacri sacrificially serve your wives why because Jesus does and when women read that they're told to submit to that sacrificial service why because Jesus has submitted to his father and why this is important well if we get any of this right if we get any of this right in God's grace Christ is displayed as he is making us new men and women as we were supposed to be his Gospel of redeeming humanity is displayed if in his grace we get any of it right let's keep the conversation going let's um let let's pray we can we can be better at this that Christ the image of God is remaking Us in the image of our creator Colossians 3 we should see that as incredible it's countercultural news but I think it's profoundly good news let's pray father God thank you for the time that we have um to have looked at these uh verses the implications of them please help us to bear with one another to learn from one another and to rely on you that we might be the people that you intend in Jesus name amen we're going to stand and sing" [00:25:02]