Understanding Divorce and Remarriage Through God's Grace

Devotional

Day 1: Transforming Hardened Hearts

The human heart is susceptible to hardening, a condition that can lead to the breakdown of relationships, including the sacred bond of marriage. This hardening is a consequence of sin that has permeated humanity since the fall of Adam and Eve. In the context of marriage, this often manifests as an unwillingness to forgive, seek reconciliation, or pursue change. Yet, there is hope. The transformative power of God's grace and forgiveness is potent enough to soften even the most hardened of hearts. When individuals allow God's love to penetrate their hearts, healing and restoration become possible, not only within the marriage but in all areas of life. This process is a testament to the redemptive work of God, who can renew and restore relationships that seem beyond repair [13:20].

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit." - Psalm 51:10-12

Reflection: Consider a relationship in your life that has been affected by a hardened heart. What steps can you take today to seek God's help in softening your heart towards reconciliation and forgiveness?

Day 2: Contextualizing Biblical Teachings

Understanding the cultural and historical context of biblical texts is essential for their accurate interpretation and application in our lives. The teachings of Jesus and Paul on marriage and divorce were not intended to be rigid laws but rather guiding principles that are rooted in love and redemption. These principles were communicated in a time and culture vastly different from our own, and recognizing this helps to discern the heart of God's message for us today. It is through this lens that we can see the biblical instructions on marriage and divorce as an invitation to live out relationships that reflect God's love, grace, and commitment to humanity [22:11].

"For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding; he stores up sound wisdom for the upright; he is a shield to those who walk in integrity." - Proverbs 2:6-7

Reflection: How can you apply the principle of seeking wisdom and understanding in the context of your relationships, especially when facing difficult decisions?

Day 3: Navigating Legitimate Divorce Grounds

Scripture acknowledges that there are legitimate reasons for divorce, such as sexual immorality, abuse, and abandonment. These are not loopholes for escaping marriage but rather serious circumstances that require careful consideration and pastoral guidance. When facing such situations, it is crucial to seek God's will and prioritize the well-being of those involved. The aim should always be to approach these difficult decisions with a heart that seeks restoration and healing, whenever possible, and to do so with the support of a faith community that upholds God's values of love and compassion [21:40].

"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses." - Matthew 18:15-16

Reflection: If someone you know is going through a difficult marital situation, how can you offer support that is both compassionate and seeks to uphold the values of love and healing?

Day 4: Embracing Redemption and Remarriage

Remarriage can be a valid step for those who have genuinely repented from the hardness of heart that led to their divorce. This perspective is grounded in the understanding of God's redemptive work in our lives. It acknowledges that while past mistakes have consequences, they do not have to define our future. Those who have received forgiveness from God are not bound by their past but are free to start anew, with the opportunity to reflect God's love and grace in a new marital relationship [19:42].

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." - 2 Corinthians 5:17

Reflection: How can you live out the truth of being a new creation in Christ in your current or future relationships, especially if you have experienced the pain of divorce?

Day 5: Honoring Marriage as a Sacred Covenant

The ultimate goal for Christians should be to honor marriage as a sacred covenant that reflects God's love and commitment. Despite the challenges and complexities that come with marital relationships, the focus should remain on upholding the values of love, fidelity, and grace. These values are central to the Christian faith and are the foundation upon which strong and enduring marriages are built. By striving to live out these values, individuals can contribute to a marriage that not only survives but thrives, serving as a testament to the divine love that it represents [22:40].

"Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous." - Hebrews 13:4

Reflection: In what ways can you actively work to honor your marriage or the marriages around you, demonstrating the values of love, fidelity, and grace in practical ways?

Sermon Summary

In today's sermon, I explored the complex and sensitive topic of divorce and remarriage within the Christian faith, drawing from scriptural references and the heart of God as revealed through Moses, Jesus, and Paul. I emphasized the importance of understanding the cultural and historical context of biblical texts to apply them appropriately to modern-day situations.

I began by addressing the hardness of hearts, which is a central theme in discussions about divorce. This concept is not limited to the Pharisees of Jesus' time but extends to all of us. Sin has been the root cause of hardened hearts since the fall of Adam and Eve. In marriages, this hardness can lead to divorce when couples are unwilling to seek counseling, forgive, or change. However, I stressed that grace, love, and forgiveness can overcome these challenges, as love covers a multitude of sins.

I then delved into the scriptural backdrop of divorce, particularly Deuteronomy 24 and Jesus' teachings in Matthew 19. Jesus pointed back to God's original intent for marriage, which is the union of one man and one woman, and highlighted that divorce was permitted due to the hardness of people's hearts, not as part of God's original design.

I acknowledged that there are legitimate reasons for divorce, such as sexual immorality, abuse, and abandonment. However, I cautioned against both extreme strictness and leniency in interpreting these texts. I argued that Jesus' exception for sexual immorality does not create a new law but rather clarifies the grounds for divorce in the context of the hardness of hearts.

Furthermore, I addressed the issue of remarriage, expressing my belief that it is valid for those who have repented from the hardness of heart that led to divorce. I emphasized that forgiveness is available, and those who have been forgiven by God are not in a perpetual state of adultery.

In conclusion, I affirmed that marriage is to be honored, and while there are permissible reasons for divorce, our focus should always be on upholding the sanctity of the marriage covenant.

Key Takeaways

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Bible Study Guide

### Bible Study Discussion Guide

#### Bible Reading

Matthew 19:3-9 (NIV)

> Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?" "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." "Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?" Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."

Deuteronomy 24:1-4 (NIV)

> If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord. Do not bring sin upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.

1 Corinthians 7:10-16 (NIV)

> To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

#### Observation Questions

What reason does Jesus give for Moses permitting divorce in Matthew 19:8? ([08:51])
According to Deuteronomy 24:1-4, what conditions must be met for a man to divorce his wife?
In 1 Corinthians 7:15, what does Paul say should happen if an unbelieving spouse leaves the marriage?
How does Jesus redefine the grounds for divorce in Matthew 19:9 compared to the cultural understanding of his time? ([09:22])

#### Interpretation Questions

How does the concept of "hardness of heart" relate to the issue of divorce according to the sermon? ([06:33])
What does Jesus' reference to the "beginning" in Matthew 19:4-6 imply about God's original intent for marriage? ([07:46])
How does the sermon suggest we balance the acknowledgment of legitimate grounds for divorce with the call to honor the marriage covenant? ([22:40])
What is the significance of Jesus not creating a new law regarding divorce but rather clarifying the grounds for it? ([09:58])

#### Application Questions

Reflect on a time when you or someone you know experienced a "hardness of heart" in a relationship. How did grace, love, and forgiveness play a role in overcoming it? ([13:20])
How can understanding the cultural and historical context of biblical texts help you apply their teachings more accurately in your life? ([22:11])
Have you ever faced a situation where you had to seek pastoral guidance for a complex issue? How did it help you discern God's will? ([21:40])
If you have experienced divorce or know someone who has, how has the concept of repentance and forgiveness been important in the journey towards healing and restoration? ([19:42])
What steps can you take to honor the sanctity of marriage in your own life, whether you are married, single, or divorced? ([22:40])
How can you support friends or family members who are going through marital difficulties, especially in light of the sermon’s emphasis on love and forgiveness? ([12:48])
In what ways can the church community better support individuals dealing with the complexities of divorce and remarriage, ensuring they feel loved and not judged? ([23:12])

Sermon Clips

"Because of Hardness of Heart some people divorce and don't work things out. They don't get the counseling, they're not willing to forgive, they're not willing to change, they not willing to love in normal situations where maybe they could have. They don't put the effort in. Now there's other circumstances... like sexual immorality, abandonment, adultery, abuse... that would qualify for... legitimate reasons for a divorce." [13:20]( | | )

"I think if you can remove that Hardness of Heart and there's really a remorseful heart and there's really a repentant heart and there's really a heart that desires to honor God... and you let God forgive you, you try to forgive your ex... I think then you're free to marry in the Lord." [19:42]( | | )

"I think we need to be careful not just to read things all on Surface value but to really contextualize the text, what's going on, know the backdrop, know the cultural context, knowing what the original audience would have heard, and then making applications to modern day... that's consistent with the heart of God and consistent with the word of God." [22:11]( | | )

"Jesus is not creating a new law, a new rule, nor is he calling anyone who remarries an adulterer. However, if you read it on Surface value, there are some people that interpret it that way. I think they're wrong. I don't think that's the heart of God. I don't think that's consistent with all of the word of God." [10:31]( | | )

"Jesus is not doing away with forgiveness here... when God forgives you, you're forgiven. So I don't think a person stays in a Perpetual state of adultery... because of the hardness of the hearts he knew their hearts and their hearts were not true to God." [17:54]( | | )

"Jesus is making it very clear in Matthew 19... he's not just letting the H and shamai debate just go, he's not letting this 'just cause', 'any cause' just pass by, he's making a position and that position is... anything that perverts the sexual intention of marriage of one man and one woman... that's hardness of Hearts, that's wrong, that's sinful." [15:39]( | | )

"Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of the hardness of your hearts but it was not like that from the beginning... Whoever divorces a wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery... Jesus is not giving us an all-inclusive all time for all people for all circumstances answer, he's not doing away with Moses." [09:22]( | | )

"Anybody that divorces in hardness of hearts and stays there and just wants to justify it, I think you got a problem. You've got to deal with that heart condition before you could ever move forward. I think you do need to try to reconcile and except for sexual immorality, I think you really need to take things seriously." [21:11]( | | )

"We always go back to honoring marriage, we want to do that in everything we do. We don't want to just know what the permissible things are or the excuses are or the justifications are or the reasons are, although there are those, there are exceptions and there are permissible reasons for divorce, we've acknowledged that, but we always want to honor marriage." [22:40]( | | )

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