Understanding Divorce: A Biblical Perspective on Marriage

 

Summary

In today's sermon, I addressed the complex and sensitive issue of divorce among believers, drawing from 1 Corinthians 7, the teachings of Jesus in Matthew 19, and the Mosaic Law. I emphasized that divorce is not to be taken lightly, as it is a grave matter with significant consequences for the individuals involved, their families, the church, and their relationship with God.

I began by discussing the biblical perspective on marriage and divorce, highlighting that marriage is a covenant relationship established by God. The intent of marriage is not to end in divorce, and believers are called to take this covenant seriously. I stressed that in cases where both parties are believers, they should strive to reconcile and work through their difficulties. If reconciliation is not possible, they should remain unmarried, as this is the biblical directive.

However, I acknowledged that there are circumstances where divorce may be permissible. These include cases of adultery, abandonment, abuse, and addiction. In such situations, the violation of the marriage covenant is so severe that it may warrant the end of the marriage if repentance and change are not possible.

I also addressed the situation where one believer abandons the marriage and refuses to come under the lordship of Jesus Christ or the authority of the church. In such cases, the faithful believer may be set free from the marriage covenant, as the abandoning spouse is to be treated as an unbeliever according to Matthew 18.

Throughout the sermon, I emphasized the need for genuine repentance and the pursuit of reconciliation whenever possible. I also acknowledged the pain and hurt that divorce causes, not just to the individuals involved but also to the wider community. I encouraged those who have experienced divorce to seek God's grace and mercy, which are available to all believers.

Finally, I reminded the congregation of the importance of upholding the sanctity of marriage and the need for the church to provide support and guidance to those facing marital difficulties.

Key Takeaways:

- Marriage is a sacred covenant established by God, and divorce among believers should be approached with a heavy heart and a desire for reconciliation. The church must provide support and guidance to couples in crisis, always pointing them towards the redemptive power of Christ's love and forgiveness. [22:00]

- In cases of adultery, abandonment, abuse, or addiction, divorce may become a necessary, though painful, option. These severe violations of the marriage covenant can justify the dissolution of the union if there is no possibility of repentance and change. The church must navigate these situations with wisdom and compassion. [14:04]

- When one believer abandons their spouse and refuses to submit to Christ's lordship or the church's authority, they are to be treated as an unbeliever. This difficult teaching underscores the seriousness with which we must treat the marriage covenant and the responsibilities it entails. [19:05]

- Genuine repentance is crucial for any believer who has entered into a sinful divorce. This repentance involves acknowledging the sin, seeking forgiveness, and taking concrete steps towards restoration, including counseling and a period of celibacy if necessary. [25:41]

- The church must be a place of healing and restoration for those who have suffered the pain of divorce. We must extend God's grace and mercy, remembering that while we uphold God's design for marriage, we also serve a God who offers forgiveness and new beginnings. [20:43]

Study Guide

### Bible Study Discussion Guide

#### Bible Reading
1. 1 Corinthians 7:1-16 - Paul's teachings on marriage, divorce, and the responsibilities of believers.
2. Matthew 19:3-9 - Jesus' teachings on the sanctity of marriage and the conditions under which divorce is permissible.
3. Deuteronomy 24:1-4 - Mosaic Law regarding divorce.

#### Observation Questions
1. According to 1 Corinthians 7, what are the two options given to believers who are married but considering divorce? ([12:20])
2. What reasons does Jesus give in Matthew 19 for allowing divorce? ([13:25])
3. How does Paul address the issue of abandonment by a believing spouse in 1 Corinthians 7? ([18:32])
4. What are the consequences of divorce mentioned in the sermon for the individuals involved and the wider community? ([20:01])

#### Interpretation Questions
1. Why does Paul emphasize the importance of reconciliation and remaining unmarried if reconciliation is not possible? ([12:20])
2. How does the concept of marriage as a covenant relationship established by God influence the teachings on divorce in both 1 Corinthians 7 and Matthew 19? ([11:49])
3. In what ways does the sermon suggest the church should support individuals going through marital difficulties? ([20:43])
4. How does the sermon address the balance between upholding the sanctity of marriage and extending grace and mercy to those who have experienced divorce? ([26:51])

#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a time when you faced a difficult situation in your marriage or a close relationship. How did you approach reconciliation, and what steps did you take to seek resolution? ([12:20])
2. If you know someone who is going through a divorce, how can you offer them support and guidance in a way that aligns with the teachings of 1 Corinthians 7 and Matthew 19? ([20:43])
3. How can the church create a supportive environment for couples facing marital difficulties, ensuring they feel encouraged to seek reconciliation and healing? ([20:43])
4. In cases where divorce is deemed necessary due to severe violations of the marriage covenant, how can the church navigate these situations with wisdom and compassion? ([14:04])
5. Reflect on the importance of genuine repentance in the context of a sinful divorce. What steps can you take to demonstrate true remorse and seek restoration if you find yourself in such a situation? ([25:41])
6. How can you personally uphold the sanctity of marriage in your own life and within your community, while also extending grace and mercy to those who have experienced the pain of divorce? ([26:51])
7. Consider the role of the church in addressing cases of abandonment by a believing spouse. How can the church effectively support the faithful spouse and ensure that the abandoning spouse is held accountable? ([18:32])

Devotional

Day 1: Upholding the Sanctity of Marriage
Marriage is a sacred covenant, not a contract to be easily broken or discarded. It is a divine institution designed to reflect the steadfast love and commitment between Christ and His church. Believers are called to approach marriage with reverence and a deep sense of responsibility. When marital challenges arise, the first and foremost goal should be reconciliation, reflecting the forgiving nature of God. The church plays a crucial role in supporting couples through their difficulties, offering guidance, resources, and prayerful support to navigate the complexities of marital relationships. It is within this community of faith that couples can find the strength and wisdom to work through their issues and uphold the sanctity of the marriage covenant.

"Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." - 1 Corinthians 7:5 ESV

Reflection: How can you actively support and encourage a couple in your community who may be facing marital challenges?

Day 2: Navigating Marital Betrayal with Compassion
When the sacred bonds of marriage are violated through adultery, abandonment, abuse, or addiction, the pain inflicted can be devastating. These acts represent a severe breach of trust and can sometimes lead to the dissolution of the marriage if repentance and change are not evident. It is essential to approach such situations with a balance of truth and grace, acknowledging the gravity of the sin while also offering a path to healing and restoration. The church must be equipped to provide wise counsel and compassionate care, ensuring that individuals in these situations do not walk alone but are supported throughout the difficult journey of healing or, if necessary, moving forward after divorce.

"If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, 'I repent,' you must forgive him." - Luke 17:3b-4 ESV

Reflection: What steps can you take to offer support to someone in your community who has experienced betrayal in their marriage?

Day 3: Treating Abandonment with Seriousness
When a believer is abandoned by their spouse, especially one who refuses to live under the lordship of Christ or the authority of the church, the situation is deeply painful and complex. Such abandonment is a serious matter, and the faithful spouse may find themselves in a position where they are released from their marital vows. This underscores the importance of treating the marriage covenant with the utmost seriousness and recognizing the responsibilities that come with it. The church must provide clear guidance and support during such times, ensuring that the abandoned spouse is cared for and that the gravity of the situation is fully understood.

"But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace." - 1 Corinthians 7:15 ESV

Reflection: How can the church better support individuals who have been abandoned by their spouse, ensuring they are not left to navigate their pain alone?

Day 4: Embracing Repentance After Divorce
Divorce is a tragic outcome that God did not intend when He established marriage. However, when divorce occurs, especially under sinful circumstances, it is crucial for the believer to seek genuine repentance. This involves acknowledging the wrongdoing, seeking forgiveness from God and those affected, and taking concrete steps toward restoration. This may include counseling, a period of celibacy, and a commitment to learn from past mistakes. The church must be a place where repentance is taught, encouraged, and supported, offering hope for a new beginning in Christ.

"Restore us to yourself, O Lord, that we may be restored! Renew our days as of old." - Lamentations 5:21 ESV

Reflection: If you have experienced divorce, what are some steps you can take to seek healing and restoration in your relationship with God and others?

Day 5: Extending Grace and Mercy Post-Divorce
The church must be a sanctuary for healing and restoration, especially for those who have suffered the pain of divorce. While upholding the divine design for marriage, it is equally important to extend grace and mercy to those who have fallen short. God's love is unfailing, and His mercies are new every morning. The church should embody this love and mercy, offering support and encouragement to those in need of a fresh start. It is through this compassionate approach that individuals can experience the fullness of God's forgiveness and the hope of a new beginning.

"For I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more." - Hebrews 8:12 ESV

Reflection: How can you personally contribute to creating a church environment that is welcoming and healing for those who have gone through the pain of divorce?

Quotes

"Sometimes divorce is sinful, sometimes it's justifiable, but in all cases, divorce is painful to the people going through it, to God, to the church, to the family. So if we can avoid it, we need to avoid it at all possible, and we need to remember what God says. God's word is like, look, if you go through this, do everything you can to be reconciled, do everything you can to not enter into divorce, do everything you can to make this right." [20:43]( | | )

"If you are a Believer and your other and your spouse is a Believer, then you should commit to that marriage covenant period. Don't divorce. You're having hard times, you work it out. You really get in there and do the nitty-gritty that God's called you to do. Now if you have something bad happen, you should try to reconcile it." [15:10]( | | )

"If after you've tried to work out a person that's gone the wrong way and it's been brought to church authorities, the pastor and others have been involved, and you're trying to work things out, and you've remained faithful to your marital vows, you've remained unmarried, you've been ready to reconcile and the other party will not, then I would say they fall underneath Matthew 18 where we would then treat them as an unbeliever." [17:55]( | | )

"If you've entered into a sinful divorce, it happens, two Believers sometimes one party or both parties can be just in sin and I just don't want this anymore. There may not be abuse, there may not be adultery, there may not be addiction, there may not be abandonment, it's just I'm done. And if that does happen, here's what I would say: you probably need to remain unmarried, but I also understand the need to remarry." [25:05]( | | )

"Divorce is a serious thing; it has grave consequences and even when it's not sinful, it's painful. But when it's sinful, it's even more painful. True repentance, true remorse, true acknowledgment of these things really has to happen to see the restoration of that brother or sister in Christ that has sinfully, blatantly done this." [26:51]( | | )

"God can forgive a sinful divorce; it's not different than any other sin. It's a painful sin though because it affects so many people, it affects God, it affects the family, it affects the church, it affects personal relationships. So just keep that in mind, divorce is a serious thing, it has grave consequences." [26:16]( | | )

"If you are married to a Believer and you've gone through a divorce and you've not reconciled, or you've not remained unmarried, then you could say, 'Wait a minute, I'm in sin. I don't have the right to remarry.' In many cases, that's true, except for Jesus clearly makes sexual immorality a reason to end the marriage covenant." [13:25]( | | )

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Transcript
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