Understanding and Fulfilling Our Psychological Needs in God

 

Summary

God, as the creator of both our physical brain and our psychological mind, has designed us with inherent psychological needs. These needs include certainty, variety, significance, love, growth, and contribution. Understanding these needs is crucial because they influence our attractions and affinities towards people and situations that fulfill them. For instance, a young man might be drawn to a particular woman not because she is the most attractive, but because she fills a void in his life, such as excitement or variety, that he is not getting elsewhere.

In relationships, whether with a spouse, children, or friends, it is essential to recognize which psychological needs are being met and which are lacking. This awareness can prevent unhealthy attachments and guide us to healthier ways of fulfilling these needs. For parents, understanding what psychological needs are unmet in their children and who is fulfilling them is vital. Similarly, in marriages, identifying what needs are unmet and who is fulfilling them can help maintain a healthy relationship.

Ultimately, while people can temporarily fulfill these needs, only God can completely satisfy them. He has provided Himself as the ultimate source of our psychological needs. When human relationships disappoint us, we can always turn to God, who offers a safe place to meet our needs. The presence of God is where we find peace, joy, security, and love. It is in His presence that we are convicted of our sins and motivated to change.

The true purpose of entering God's presence is not just to receive these byproducts but to intercede for others. As priests in our communities, we are called to stand in the gap and pray for those around us. Intercession is powerful because God answers our prayers for others as if they prayed them themselves. Therefore, we must use our time in God's presence to pray for our families, friends, and communities, rather than just seeking personal fulfillment.

Key Takeaways:

1. Understanding Psychological Needs: God created us with psychological needs such as certainty, variety, significance, love, growth, and contribution. Recognizing these needs helps us understand our attractions and affinities towards people and situations that fulfill them. This awareness can guide us to healthier relationships and prevent unhealthy attachments. [03:13]

2. The Role of Relationships: In relationships, it is crucial to identify which psychological needs are being met and which are lacking. This understanding can help maintain healthy relationships and prevent toxic situations. For parents, recognizing unmet needs in their children and who is fulfilling them is vital for their well-being. [06:28]

3. God as the Ultimate While people can temporarily fulfill our psychological needs, only God can completely satisfy them. He provides Himself as the ultimate source of our needs, offering peace, joy, security, and love. When human relationships disappoint us, we can always turn to God for fulfillment. [18:13]

4. Purpose of God's Presence: The true purpose of entering God's presence is not just to receive peace, joy, and love, but to intercede for others. As priests in our communities, we are called to stand in the gap and pray for those around us. Intercession is powerful because God answers our prayers for others as if they prayed them themselves. [33:00]

5. Intercession and Community: Our time in God's presence should be used to pray for our families, friends, and communities, rather than just seeking personal fulfillment. Intercession is a powerful tool that can disrupt the law of harvest and bring blessings to those we pray for. We are called to be priests in our communities, standing in the gap and praying for those in need. [45:20]

Youtube Chapters:

- [00:00] - Welcome
- [03:13] - Understanding Psychological Needs
- [06:28] - The Role of Relationships
- [12:27] - Identifying Needs in Marriage
- [18:13] - God as the Ultimate Source
- [22:51] - The Presence of God
- [27:34] - Access to God's Presence
- [33:00] - Purpose of God's Presence
- [36:08] - Intercession and Community
- [39:53] - Reaching the Community
- [42:43] - The Power of Intercession
- [45:20] - Our Role as Priests
- [48:00] - Call to Action and Prayer

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide

Bible Reading:
1. Psalm 91:1 - "He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty."
2. Psalm 16:11 - "You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore."
3. Ezekiel 22:30 - "I looked for someone among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found no one."

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Observation Questions:

1. What are the six psychological needs mentioned in the sermon, and how do they influence our relationships? [03:13]
2. How does the sermon describe the role of God in fulfilling our psychological needs compared to human relationships? [18:13]
3. According to the sermon, what is the true purpose of entering God's presence? [33:00]
4. How does the sermon illustrate the power of intercession using the example of the early church praying for Peter? [42:43]

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Interpretation Questions:

1. How does Psalm 91:1 relate to the idea of God being the ultimate source of our psychological needs? [18:13]
2. In what ways does the sermon suggest that human relationships can fall short in meeting our psychological needs, and how should we respond? [18:13]
3. How does the sermon explain the concept of intercession as a means to disrupt the law of harvest? [39:53]
4. What does the sermon suggest about the role of community in fulfilling our psychological needs, and how does this relate to the passages from Psalms and Ezekiel? [36:08]

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Application Questions:

1. Reflect on your own life: Which of the six psychological needs do you feel is most unmet, and how can you seek fulfillment in God's presence rather than solely relying on others? [03:13]
2. Consider your relationships: Are there any that might be unhealthy because they are based on fulfilling a psychological need? How can you address this? [06:28]
3. How can you incorporate more time in God's presence into your daily routine to ensure that your psychological needs are being met by Him? [27:34]
4. Think of someone in your life who might be struggling with unmet psychological needs. How can you intercede for them in prayer this week? [33:00]
5. Reflect on a time when you felt disappointed by a human relationship. How did you turn to God during that time, and what did you learn from the experience? [18:13]
6. How can you actively participate in intercession for your community, and what steps can you take to stand in the gap for others? [39:53]
7. Identify a specific area in your life where you can be a priest, standing in the gap for others. What practical steps can you take to fulfill this role? [45:20]

Devotional

Day 1: Understanding Our Psychological Needs
God has intricately designed us with psychological needs such as certainty, variety, significance, love, growth, and contribution. These needs shape our attractions and affinities towards people and situations that fulfill them. Recognizing these needs is crucial for guiding us towards healthier relationships and preventing unhealthy attachments. By understanding what drives us, we can make more informed choices about the relationships we pursue and the situations we engage in. This awareness is not just for personal insight but also for fostering deeper connections with others. [03:13]

"For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things." (Psalm 107:9, ESV)

Reflection: Identify one psychological need you feel is unmet in your life. How can you seek fulfillment in a healthy way that aligns with your faith?


Day 2: The Role of Relationships
In every relationship, whether with a spouse, children, or friends, it is essential to identify which psychological needs are being met and which are lacking. This understanding can help maintain healthy relationships and prevent toxic situations. For parents, recognizing unmet needs in their children and who is fulfilling them is vital for their well-being. By being attentive to these dynamics, we can nurture relationships that are supportive and life-giving, rather than draining or harmful. [06:28]

"Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." (Philippians 2:4, ESV)

Reflection: Think of a relationship where you feel a need is unmet. How can you address this with the person involved in a loving and constructive way?


Day 3: God as the Ultimate Source
While people can temporarily fulfill our psychological needs, only God can completely satisfy them. He provides Himself as the ultimate source of our needs, offering peace, joy, security, and love. When human relationships disappoint us, we can always turn to God for fulfillment. His presence is a refuge where we find the deepest satisfaction and are reminded of our true identity and worth. [18:13]

"The Lord is my portion, says my soul, therefore I will hope in him." (Lamentations 3:24, ESV)

Reflection: Reflect on a time when you felt disappointed by a human relationship. How can you turn to God to fulfill that need today?


Day 4: Purpose of God's Presence
The true purpose of entering God's presence is not just to receive peace, joy, and love, but to intercede for others. As priests in our communities, we are called to stand in the gap and pray for those around us. Intercession is powerful because God answers our prayers for others as if they prayed them themselves. This calling invites us to shift our focus from personal fulfillment to being a conduit of God's grace and love to others. [33:00]

"Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working." (James 5:16, ESV)

Reflection: Who in your life needs prayer today? Spend time interceding for them, asking God to meet their needs.


Day 5: Intercession and Community
Our time in God's presence should be used to pray for our families, friends, and communities, rather than just seeking personal fulfillment. Intercession is a powerful tool that can disrupt the law of harvest and bring blessings to those we pray for. We are called to be priests in our communities, standing in the gap and praying for those in need. This role is both a privilege and a responsibility, inviting us to actively participate in God's work in the world. [45:20]

"And seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare." (Jeremiah 29:7, ESV)

Reflection: Consider your community and its needs. How can you commit to praying for its welfare and actively participating in its flourishing?

Quotes



God created me in a way that I have psychological needs, and he has done two things. Number one, he has placed people in my life strategically to help meet the needs that I have psychologically. Psychologically, I have my wife, my children, sometimes I have my father, I have my church family, y 'all feed me, y 'all, and not only do I encourage y 'all, but y 'all encourage me as well. I have my baby brother, my big sister, I have these people that are feeders in my life, but here's the reality. There are some times when feeders will disappoint you, they will put you down. [00:18:45]

Not just your spouse, but sometimes your best friend, sometimes a mother figure or a father figure, sometimes a spiritual covering, they will disappoint you, and this is what God has provided. Everybody shout, tell me, pastor. God has provided not only a layer of people, but he has provided himself as the ultimate source of your psychological needs. [00:19:35]

So there are times when I can't. I can't get the security that I feel that I need. I can't get the love that I feel that I need. I can't get the comfort, the growth, the contribution, but he says, when you can't go to the people that I have provided, you can always run to me as a safe place to get the needs met until the community matures and get back to where they need to be. [00:20:03]

Make it plain, pastor. Every last one of us have a hiding place. It's in God that you should. Everybody shout, I should run to. You should run to. Some of you all don't run to it. What you wind up doing, many of us, is that we pick up some type of sin or habit to anesthetize the temporary pain that's going on in our soul. When God says, you ain't got to pick that up if you just run to the secret place. [00:20:31]

Psalm 1611 declares, in thy presence is fullness of joy, and at thy right hand there are pleasures forevermore. I have a community of people that feed me joy, they feed me excitement, they feed me love, but when they are disappointing me, and when I don't want a chord, I don't have to live in as a deficit for the rest of my life. I can run into the presence of God. [00:21:44]

He will use people temporarily. He will use your spouse, your children temporarily. He will use your entrepreneurial endeavors temporarily. But ultimately, these voids that I have, that I feel on the inside, the need to feel secure, the need to feel excitement, the need to feel love, the need to feel growth and contribution, these needs within my heart, only God can meet them. And the way that he meets them is that he drives us into his presence. [00:24:55]

Now, before he goes into the holies of holies where the very presence of God is, because how many of you know when you really have an encounter with God, and watch this, I want to challenge somebody because, yeah, yeah, yeah, let me unspiritualize that because when I say when you have a real presence with God, some of y 'all are like waiting on this thing to happen on the inside of you when the reality is you ought to be communing with him every day. [00:25:45]

into the most holy place, the holies of holies. But the scripture declares there are all of these layers, all of these things that he needs to do before he taps into the presence of God. And he has to do these things because watch this, his peace is in the presence. His joy is in the presence. His destiny is in the presence. Everything that he needs to fulfill the human heart's aching is in the presence of God. So he has to perform these sacrifices in order to get into the presence. Well, I'm so glad that we live in this dispensation because the Bible declares when Jesus died, that the curtain was rent from the top to the bottom. Understand how significant that is. It wasn't rent from the bottom to the top, because if it was rent from the bottom to the top, a man could have done that. But God says, I want you to know that I have provided access for my sons and for my daughters to get into my presence so that they can meet the need, the needs of their hearts. [00:26:23]

question on the table peace is there love, joy security feeling of significance is there my growth is there my legacy is in his presence if all of these things are here why do I spend so much time outside trying to get these things on, why instead of trying to feel secure in his presence and peace in his presence, I keep going after deals to fill this void going after people trying to get connections to fill the void when all of the things that meet the human heart is so I'm trying to kick this thing around why is it and I have an answer here's the answer because we actually don't know the true benefit of the presence yes peace is just the byproduct of being in his presence it's not the purpose joy security love love these are just the extras of getting into his presence not the purpose because it's many of our purposes of getting in his presence when he temporarily satisfies us in other areas with a sense of peace sense of love, new relationship sense of joy, new opportunity it's like am I going to pray or go skydiving [00:29:02]

To understand the true purpose, you actually got to go back and study Leviticus 16. 16, because all of these things, all of these things that we deem as purpose is only by product. Because really, y 'all come to church and that's what you're like, Lord, just, ah, these folk don't got on my nerves. I got to get in the presence of the Lord. [00:31:51]

So if those are the byproducts, what's the real purpose? Here's the real purpose. The priest has the outer court into the holy place. And he goes into the holies of holies for one primary reason. And that is to make you a priest. Intercession for the community that he connected with. [00:32:34]

So when you see somebody in trouble, you get into the presence of God. You begin to experience the peace of God, the joy of God, the acceptance of God, the love of God. You're growing in your spirit. But while you're there, you're saying, Lord, my sister, God, touch my brother. God, save my mother. Save my father. Redeem my family, God. Allow them to open their eyes, Jesus, and allow them to see what they're going through. God, fill their heart with such a love. God, let them have with you what I have. Let them fall in love with you, Jesus, like I'm in love with you. God, bless my community. [00:34:25]

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Transcript
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