Trusting God's Love Amidst Suffering and Grief
Summary
The story of Jesus, Mary, Martha, and Lazarus in Bethany reveals the depth of relationship God desires with us—a closeness where He is welcomed not as a distant guest, but as family with “refrigerator privileges.” Jesus’ friendship with this family was so intimate that they instinctively turned to Him first in their time of need, sending word when Lazarus fell gravely ill. Yet, even in this beloved household, suffering and loss were not kept at bay. The reality that Jesus loved Lazarus deeply, and yet allowed him to die, challenges the notion that God’s love guarantees a life free from pain or hardship.
When faced with crisis, Mary and Martha’s first response was to reach out to Jesus, modeling the kind of reflexive dependence we are called to cultivate. Too often, prayer becomes our last resort rather than our first response. The story invites us to begin each day and each trial with a humble, “Jesus, I need you,” recognizing our utter dependence on Him for guidance, strength, and hope.
Jesus’ delay in coming to Bethany confounded expectations. If He truly loved them, why didn’t He heal Lazarus immediately? Why allow suffering to linger? These are questions we all wrestle with when God’s timing and methods don’t align with our desires. Yet, the narrative reminds us that God’s love is not measured by our circumstances or by how quickly our prayers are answered, but by the cross—His ultimate demonstration of love.
In the midst of grief, Jesus does not rebuke Mary and Martha for their questions or pain. Instead, He enters into their sorrow, weeping with them. This is the heart of God: not distant or unmoved, but deeply compassionate, present in our suffering, and willing to bear it with us. Jesus then calls Lazarus from the grave, illustrating that God’s power to bring life out of death is not just a future hope, but a present reality. Yet, even after new life is given, Lazarus needs the community to help him shed his grave clothes—a picture of how we need one another to walk in the fullness of God’s restoration.
Ultimately, the story calls us to trust God’s wisdom and timing, to lay down our expectations, and to believe that even in the darkest moments, God is working for His glory and our good. Our role is to pray first, trust deeply, and walk together as God brings life where there was death.
Key Takeaways
- God’s Love and Human Suffering Can Coexist
The story of Lazarus shows that being loved by God does not exempt us from suffering or loss. Jesus loved Lazarus and his sisters deeply, yet allowed them to experience pain and grief. This challenges the assumption that God’s favor means a trouble-free life, and invites us to trust His love even when we don’t understand His ways. [02:33]
- Prayer as a First Response, Not a Last Resort
Mary and Martha instinctively turned to Jesus when trouble came, modeling a life where prayer is the first response, not the last resort. We are called to cultivate a daily dependence on God, beginning each day and each challenge with a humble cry for His presence and help. This posture of prayerful dependence opens us to God’s guidance and peace, even before circumstances change. [04:32]
- God’s Timing and Methods Often Defy Our Expectations
Jesus’ delay in coming to Bethany was confusing and painful for those who loved Him. Our expectations of how and when God should act can blind us to the greater work He is doing for His glory. Faith means surrendering our timelines and trusting that God’s wisdom and love are at work, even when His answers seem slow or different than we hoped. [09:58]
- God Meets Us in Our Grief with Compassion, Not Condemnation
When Mary and Martha questioned Jesus and expressed their pain, He did not rebuke them, but wept with them. God is not threatened by our honest questions or emotions; He enters into our suffering with empathy and presence. This is a model for how we are to care for one another—sometimes the most Christlike thing we can do is simply to be present and share in another’s sorrow. [16:18]
- New Life Requires Community and Ongoing Transformation
When Jesus called Lazarus from the grave, He instructed others to help remove the grave clothes. God brings us from death to life, but He also places us in community so we can help one another walk in freedom and healing. Our journey of faith is not meant to be lived in isolation; we need each other to fully experience the restoration God intends. [22:32]
Youtube Chapters
[00:00] - Welcome
[01:21] - Jesus’ Close Friendships in Bethany
[02:33] - The One Whom Jesus Loved: Love and Suffering
[03:43] - Is Prayer Your First Response?
[04:32] - Turning to Jesus in Crisis
[06:50] - Learning Through Suffering
[08:00] - God’s Goodness in All Things
[08:56] - Jesus’ Unexpected Delay
[09:58] - Wrestling with Disappointment and Expectations
[11:39] - Measuring God’s Love by the Cross
[13:08] - Thomas’ Courage and the Reality of Death
[13:56] - Martha’s Faith and Jesus’ Identity
[15:31] - Mary’s Grief and Honest Questions
[16:18] - Jesus Weeps: God’s Compassion
[18:51] - Faith in Action: Moving the Stone
[20:09] - Lazarus Called to Life
[22:32] - Community and Unwrapping the Grave Clothes
[23:43] - Trusting God for Salvation and Revival
[25:02] - Praying for God’s Glory in Our Pain
[27:32] - Wrestling with Unanswered Prayers
[29:17] - Jesus, the Resurrection and the Life
[30:09] - Communion and Closing
Study Guide
Bible Study Discussion Guide: Jesus, Mary, Martha, and Lazarus in Bethany
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### Bible Reading
- John 11:1-44 (The raising of Lazarus)
- Romans 8:28 (“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”)
- Ephesians 2:4-10 (God’s love brings us from death to life)
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### Observation Questions
1. In John 11, how do Mary and Martha respond when their brother Lazarus becomes gravely ill? What do they do first? [04:32]
2. According to the sermon, what does Jesus do when He hears that Lazarus is sick? How does this differ from what we might expect? [08:56]
3. When Jesus finally arrives in Bethany, how do Martha and Mary each express their grief and questions to Him? [15:31]
4. What does Jesus do when He sees Mary, Martha, and the others weeping? [16:18]
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### Interpretation Questions
1. The sermon points out that Jesus loved Lazarus and his sisters, yet allowed them to experience suffering and loss. What does this suggest about the relationship between God’s love and human suffering? [02:33]
2. Why do you think Jesus delayed coming to Bethany, even though He knew Lazarus was sick? What might this teach us about God’s timing versus our expectations? [09:58]
3. When Mary and Martha question Jesus and express their pain, how does Jesus respond? What does this reveal about God’s character? [16:18]
4. After Lazarus is raised, Jesus tells the community to help remove his grave clothes. What does this detail show us about the role of community in our spiritual lives? [22:32]
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### Application Questions
1. The sermon talked about “refrigerator privileges”—a deep, family-like closeness with Jesus. Do you feel like you have that kind of relationship with Jesus? If not, what is one step you could take this week to invite Him closer? [01:21]
2. When you face a crisis or challenge, what is your first response? Is prayer your first instinct, or do you tend to try everything else first? What would it look like to make prayer your first response this week? [04:32]
3. Have you ever felt disappointed or confused by God’s timing or the way He answered (or didn’t answer) a prayer? How did you respond? Looking back, can you see any ways God was at work even when you didn’t understand? [09:58]
4. The sermon said that God’s love is measured by the cross, not by our circumstances. When you go through hard times, what helps you remember God’s love for you? Is there a practical way you can remind yourself of this truth? [11:39]
5. Jesus didn’t rebuke Mary and Martha for their honest questions or pain—He wept with them. How can you be more present and compassionate with someone who is grieving or struggling, instead of trying to “fix” their pain? [16:18]
6. After Lazarus was raised, he needed others to help him remove his grave clothes. Is there an area of your life where you need help from others to walk in freedom or healing? Is there someone you could ask for support, or someone you could help? [22:32]
7. The story challenges us to trust God’s wisdom and timing, even when it doesn’t make sense. Is there a situation in your life right now where you need to lay down your expectations and trust God? What would it look like to do that this week? [24:31]
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Devotional
Day 1: Jesus Loves Us Even in Our Suffering
Being loved by Jesus does not exempt us from pain or hardship; both can be true at the same time. When Mary and Martha sent word to Jesus about Lazarus, they referred to him as “the one you love,” yet Lazarus still became gravely ill. This reminds us that God’s love is not measured by the absence of suffering in our lives. Sometimes, even when we are walking closely with God, we face trials that we do not understand. In those moments, it is important to remember that God’s love remains steadfast, even when our circumstances are difficult or confusing. [02:33]
John 11:3-5 (ESV)
So the sisters sent to him, saying, “Lord, he whom you love is ill.” But when Jesus heard it he said, “This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.” Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.
Reflection: When you face hardship, do you ever question God’s love for you? How might you remind yourself today that His love is constant, even when life is hard?
Day 2: Prayer Should Be Our First Response
Prayer is meant to be our first response, not our last resort, in every situation we face. Too often, we turn to God only after we have exhausted all other options, but Mary and Martha immediately reached out to Jesus when they needed help. Each day, we are invited to begin with a posture of dependence, acknowledging that we need God’s guidance, strength, and presence before anything else. Let prayer be the first thing you do, not just when you are desperate, but as a daily habit of trust and surrender. [03:43]
Philippians 4:6 (ESV)
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Reflection: What is the very first thing you do when you wake up? How can you intentionally make prayer your first response tomorrow morning?
Day 3: God’s Timing and Ways Are Not Our Own
God’s love for us is not measured by how quickly He answers our prayers or meets our expectations; His timing and ways are higher than ours. When Jesus heard about Lazarus, He did not rush to heal him but waited, allowing a greater purpose to unfold. We often expect God to act according to our plans, but He sees the bigger picture and works for His glory and our good, even when we do not understand. Trusting God means letting go of our expectations and believing that His love and wisdom are at work, even in the waiting. [09:58]
Romans 8:28 (ESV)
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
Reflection: Where are you struggling to trust God’s timing or ways? What expectation do you need to surrender to Him today?
Day 4: Jesus Meets Us with Compassion in Our Grief
Jesus responds to our pain and questions not with rebuke, but with deep compassion and empathy. When Mary and Martha confronted Jesus with their grief and confusion, He did not scold them for their questions or their sorrow. Instead, He was deeply moved and wept with them, showing us that God is present with us in our suffering. Our emotions are a gift from God, and He invites us to bring our honest feelings to Him, knowing that He cares and shares in our pain. [16:18]
John 11:33-35 (ESV)
When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. And he said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” Jesus wept.
Reflection: Who in your life is grieving or hurting right now? How can you show them the compassion of Christ—perhaps simply by being present and sharing their sorrow?
Day 5: New Life in Christ Calls Us into Community
When Jesus called Lazarus out of the tomb, He also called the community to help remove the grave clothes, showing that new life in Christ is not meant to be lived in isolation. God brings us from death to life, but He also places us in the family of faith so that we can help one another grow, heal, and walk in freedom. We need each other on this journey, both to receive help and to offer it. Let us be people who gather around one another, helping to remove the remnants of the past and encouraging each other in the new life God has given. [22:32]
Ephesians 2:4-10 (ESV)
But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
Reflection: Who has helped you grow in your faith, and who might need your encouragement or support today as they walk in new life with Christ?
Quotes
Sometimes we think that if I'm loved by God, that no bad things could possibly happen to me. If I'm in right relationship with God, then I'm not going to have any trouble in my life. But we know that is not the case, right? And we see that time and time again in the Scriptures. And that's certainly the case right here with Mary and Martha and Lazarus. [00:03:16]
Is prayer your first response or is it your last resort? When you wake up in the morning, what's the first response that you have? Is it to grab that dumb smartphone that you have and start looking at it? Is it to turn on the television and see what kind of news is going on? What's the first thing that you do? Is it your first response or is it your last resort? [00:03:46]
I hope you're the kind of believer who turns to prayer first and that's what I want to encourage you to do to be like Mary and Martha that their first response is Jesus we need you and each and every day I hope that you start off your day that way Jesus we need you I can't do anything apart from you Jesus I need your your guidance I need your leading I need your discernment I need your help every day God I need you I don't know what's going to happen but I know that I'm going to need you because I can't live this life apart from you. [00:04:41]
No matter what the reason of our suffering, God's at work in all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. Now, not everything is good. We have to remind ourselves that. Not everything that happens is good. But God can take bad things and bring about good through them. [00:08:21]
Sometimes our expectations occupy our vision so that we're unable to see what God wants to do in and around and through us. Our focus sometimes gets stuck on our expectations. Meanwhile, God has a plan for His glory and we can't see what He's doing because we're so focused on our expectations. [00:10:51]
The truth is, God's not on our timeline. Whether or not He's on our timeline, whether or not our timeline intersects with His timeline, has nothing to do about His love for us. We don't measure God's love by our circumstances, but by the cross. [00:11:50]
God demonstrated His love for us in this. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. God's demonstration of His love for us is the cross. And any time you start to doubt that, any time you start to question that, you look back to the cross and you remember how much God loves you. [00:12:10]
Have you ever talked to God like that? Lord, I've got this all figured out. If you would have followed my plan, Jesus, everything would have been great. I know you can do miracles, but for some reason you're not following my plan. Come on, get with it, Jesus. [00:14:18]
Martha's got faith. You can see Martha has faith. Martha's got correct doctrine. You can see that she's got her theological doctrine in tow. But she's still missing Jesus who's standing right before her as the great I Am, as I Am the resurrection. She's missing that as she's standing talking to Jesus. [00:14:49]
I Am the resurrection and life. Whoever believes in Me, though he die, yet shall he live. And everyone who lives and believes in Me shall never die. Goodbye. I am the enemy forever. Do you believe this? Do we believe this? Do we live like we believe this? [00:15:11]
And I think here's another example of how people can question God. And God's not bothered by that. I think it's interesting to see Jesus' response. He doesn't come at these ladies and remind them of who He is. Do you know who you're talking to? Do you? I don't like that tone, young lady. He doesn't come at them like this at all. How dare you question me? Jesus responds with compassion and tenderness. [00:15:57]
The body of Christ is supposed to weep with those who weep. The next time you have an opportunity to minister to someone who's hurting or grieving don't worry about what to say don't worry about having the right words to say sometimes the best thing that we can do is just keep our mouth shut put our arm around them and shed some tears together and if you feel like that you've got to say something then just say i love you. [00:17:51]
Sometimes we go to church on Sunday and we hear sermons and we sing songs and we say, yeah, I believe! Count me in, I'm there! And we're excited and we get enthused. And then we leave this place and Monday rolls around. And the rubber meets the road, doesn't it? I was so excited. I was so happy in the Lord yesterday. And now, look at this mess that I'm dealing with. [00:19:07]
This is a good picture of our salvation, isn't it? God calls us back from the dead. Ephesians 2, beginning at verse 4, but because of His great love for us, it starts with God's love for us. Because of His great love for us, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ, even when we were dead in transgressions, it is by grace you have been saved. [00:20:36]
We need some people to help us in this walk and journey of salvation. We need one another. We can't do this by ourselves. We know we need God. But God wants to use one another to help us along the way. You see, God brings new life to Lazarus, but He doesn't leave him out in isolation. He places him with the people of God who will help him out in his time of need. [00:22:21]
If I'm going to see God and His purpose for my life. Do you believe that Jesus can raise the dead to life? We believe that. Do we believe that Jesus can bring salvation to Citrus County? Do you believe that Jesus can bring salvation to your prodigal son or grandson or granddaughter? Do we believe that God can bring healing and salvation to this world that seems so far removed from Him? There's nothing too difficult for our God. He's more than able. [00:23:35]
So maybe you need to cry out to the Lord first. God, I'm sick. And you know that I'm sick. My finances are sick. This relationship is sick. I'm mentally sick. God, I need your help today. Start with prayer. Start by going to Him. And then trust Him. Trust Him that He knows what's best. [00:24:17]
Sometimes I pray this prayer, my heart is broken. And I don't understand, God. But I continue to trust in You. Do whatever it takes to bring glory in this situation. I know what I want. My expectations are up here, right? God, let's bring revival to this church and to this community. God, let's see lost people saved. Let's see the church revived. And let's see this sanctuary filled up three or four times on the weekend. [00:24:54]
But for God's glory. I don't understand. I don't have all the answers. But I know God has the ability to take bad things and bring about good. [00:29:05]
Jesus says, I am the resurrection. He's the resurrection in life. There's no other place to go. You alone have the words of life. And so to you, I'm going to go. [00:29:30]
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