In times of parental anxiety, it's natural to grieve deeply over a child's waywardness. However, this grief should not lead to despair. Like Job, one must hold fast to God's goodness and wisdom, trusting that He is in control. It's important to process pain while maintaining hope in God's ultimate plan. This balance allows parents to navigate their emotions without losing sight of the bigger picture of God's sovereignty. [03:16]
Job 42:2-3 (ESV): "I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted. 'Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?' Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know."
Reflection: How can you remind yourself of God's sovereignty in moments of deep grief or anxiety about your child's future?
Day 2: Individual Responsibility and Parental Imperfections
Parents often worry that their imperfections are the decisive cause of their child's disobedience. However, Ezekiel 18 teaches that each soul is responsible for its own actions. This understanding provides comfort, reminding us that good parents can have wayward children and vice versa. It is crucial to recognize that while parental influence is significant, it is not the sole determinant of a child's spiritual path. [04:35]
Ezekiel 18:20 (ESV): "The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not suffer for the iniquity of the father, nor the father suffer for the iniquity of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself."
Reflection: In what ways can you release the burden of feeling solely responsible for your child's choices, trusting in their individual responsibility before God?
Day 3: Loving on God's Terms
Loving children on God's terms means standing firm in truth and righteousness, even when it contradicts societal norms. This involves speaking truth to children, not withdrawing into self-pity or anger, and communicating a love that is willing to sacrifice for their well-being. It is a call to love with a divine perspective, prioritizing their spiritual growth over worldly acceptance. [06:00]
1 John 3:18 (ESV): "Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth."
Reflection: How can you demonstrate love to your children today that aligns with God's truth, even if it challenges societal expectations?
Day 4: The Power of Unceasing Prayer
Prayer is a powerful tool in the journey of parenting, and it is essential to pray without ceasing, trusting in God's sovereignty and mercy. Gathering with others in prayer and believing that God will give good things to those who ask, as promised in Matthew 7:11, strengthens faith and reliance on divine intervention. This practice fosters a deeper connection with God and a sense of peace amidst parenting challenges. [08:22]
Colossians 4:2 (ESV): "Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving."
Reflection: What specific prayer can you commit to praying daily for your child, trusting in God's provision and mercy?
Day 5: Living a Life of Joy and Righteousness
Continuing to live a life of joy and righteousness, even in the face of a child's disobedience, is crucial. Demonstrating that Christ is the supreme treasure shows children that life does not revolve solely around them. This approach denies Satan the triumph of paralyzing parents with despair and instead highlights the strength and hope found in Christ. [11:27]
Nehemiah 8:10 (ESV): "Then he said to them, 'Go your way. Eat the fat and drink sweet wine and send portions to anyone who has nothing ready, for this day is holy to our Lord. And do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.'"
Reflection: How can you actively demonstrate the joy and righteousness found in Christ to your children, regardless of their current path?
Sermon Summary
In the face of parental anxiety over the potential impact of their sins on their children, it's crucial to remember that God's grace and sovereignty transcend our imperfections. Many parents fear that their past mistakes or current struggles might doom their children to a similar fate. This fear is compounded by the belief in generational sins and the challenges faced by children born into difficult circumstances. However, it's important to understand that while our actions do influence our children, they are not the sole determinants of their spiritual paths.
Grieving deeply over a child's waywardness is natural, but it should not lead to despair. Like Job, we must hold fast to God's goodness and wisdom, trusting that He is in control. It's vital to remember that our imperfections as parents are not the decisive factors in our children's disobedience. Ezekiel 18 reminds us that each soul is responsible for its own actions, and we cannot draw a straight line from our parenting to our children's choices.
Loving our children on God's terms means standing firm in truth and righteousness, even when the world offers a different definition of love. This involves speaking truth to our children, not withdrawing into self-pity or anger, and communicating a love that is willing to sacrifice for their well-being. Prayer is a powerful tool in this journey, and we must pray without ceasing, trusting in God's sovereignty and mercy.
Finally, it's essential to continue living a life of joy and righteousness, even in the face of a child's disobedience. Our children need to see that Christ is our supreme treasure and that our lives do not revolve solely around them. By doing so, we deny Satan the triumph of paralyzing us with despair and instead demonstrate the strength and hope found in Christ.
Key Takeaways
1. Grieve deeply but not despairingly, holding fast to God's sovereign goodness and wisdom, much like Job did in his trials. This balance allows us to process our pain while maintaining hope in God's ultimate plan. [03:16]
2. Do not assume your imperfections as a parent are the decisive cause of your child's disobedience. Ezekiel 18 teaches that each soul is responsible for its own actions, reminding us that good parents can have wayward children and vice versa. [04:35]
3. Love your children on God's terms, not the world's. This means standing firm in truth and righteousness, even when it contradicts societal norms, and being willing to sacrifice for their well-being. [06:00]
4. Pray without ceasing, trusting in God's sovereignty and mercy. Gather with others in prayer, believing that God will give good things to those who ask, as promised in Matthew 7:11. [08:22]
5. Continue living a life of joy and righteousness, demonstrating that Christ is your supreme treasure. This shows your children that your life does not revolve solely around them, denying Satan the triumph of paralyzing you with despair. [11:27] ** [11:27]
Ezekiel 18:4, 20 - "Behold, all souls are mine; the soul of the father as well as the soul of the son is mine: the soul who sins shall die."
Luke 18:27 - "What is impossible with man is possible with God."
Matthew 7:11 - "If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!"
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Observation Questions:
According to Ezekiel 18, what does God say about the responsibility of each soul for its own actions? How does this relate to the idea of generational sins? [04:35]
In the sermon, how does the pastor describe the balance between grieving deeply and not despairingly, using Job as an example? [03:16]
What does the pastor suggest is the role of prayer in dealing with parental anxiety and the spiritual paths of children? [08:22]
How does the sermon describe the importance of living a life of joy and righteousness in the face of a child's disobedience? [11:27]
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Interpretation Questions:
How does Ezekiel 18 challenge the belief that a parent's sins directly determine a child's spiritual path? What implications does this have for parents dealing with guilt over their children's choices? [04:35]
In what ways does the pastor suggest that parents can love their children on God's terms rather than the world's? How might this look different from societal norms? [06:00]
How does the pastor's reference to Luke 18:27 provide hope for parents who feel their situation is impossible? What does this say about God's power in seemingly hopeless situations? [04:09]
What does the sermon suggest about the importance of demonstrating that Christ is the supreme treasure in a parent's life? How might this influence a child's perception of faith? [11:27]
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Application Questions:
Reflect on a time when you felt your past mistakes might negatively impact your children. How can Ezekiel 18:4, 20 help you reframe your understanding of personal responsibility and God's justice? [04:35]
The pastor encourages grieving deeply but not despairingly. How can you apply this balance in your current struggles, trusting in God's goodness and wisdom like Job did? [03:16]
Consider your current prayer life. How can you incorporate more intentional and persistent prayer for your children, trusting in God's sovereignty and mercy as described in Matthew 7:11? [08:22]
Think about the societal norms that might conflict with biblical truths in your parenting. How can you stand firm in truth and righteousness while still showing love and sacrifice for your children's well-being? [06:00]
Identify an area in your life where you might be allowing despair to overshadow your joy in Christ. How can you demonstrate to your children that Christ is your supreme treasure, even in difficult times? [11:27]
Reflect on a specific situation where you might have assumed your imperfections as a parent were the cause of your child's disobedience. How can you release this burden and trust in God's plan for your child's life? [04:35]
How can you create a supportive community of prayer with other parents, as suggested in the sermon, to collectively seek God's guidance and support for your children? [08:22]
Sermon Clips
Grieve while holding fast to The Sovereign goodness and wisdom of God be like job who fell on the ground tore his robe shaved his head, no doubt wept his eyes out at the loss of his children and said the lord gave and the Lord has taken away blessed be the name of the Lord so grieve deeply but not despairingly. [00:03:18]
Do not assume that your imperfections as a parent were decisive in causing this disobedience in your child don't assume that read EZ eel 18 I'll sum it up quote behold All Souls are mine the soul of the father as well as the soul of the son is mine the soul who sins shall die. [00:04:14]
The son shall not suffer for the iniquity of the father nor the father for the iniquity of the son close quote the father shall not suffer the mother shall not suffer for the iniquity of the son in other words we cannot draw a straight line from our own parenting to our children's sin or righteousness. [00:05:06]
Resolve to love your children on God's terms not the world's terms that is love them with a Readiness to sacrifice your life while standing for what God calls right and what God calls true not what the world calls right and true the effort to be loving by forsaking God's way of Truth and righteousness. [00:06:00]
Whether in person or in letters or emails speak truth to your child tell them what you believe why you believe it and why you believe it's the path of of Love do not withdraw into self-pity or anger lean in lean in with truth speak to them once this is done then wait don't nag don't harass. [00:06:44]
Pray without ceasing in the confidence that God is Sovereign and merciful slow to anger abounding in steadfast love and gather some friends whether in person or in other ways and join in prayer for each other's children trust him trust God as you pray that he will give good things to those who ask. [00:08:16]
Measure with prayerful Bible saturated wisdom measure how often to address the issue with your child I had said a moment ago don't nag don't harass some will be utterly closed to any communication that's tragic but it's real so rarely intrude where you have been forbidden rarely I didn't say never others will be more open. [00:09:02]
Periodically make the simple Central gospel plain to the distant prodigal the child who's moving away make the central gospel plain in other words from time to time God will make it plain how often once a year once every six months God will make it plain from time to time remind them there's always a way out. [00:10:10]
Press on with your ordinary life with brokenhearted but indomitable joy and deny Satan the Triumph of of paralyzing you in your path of righteousness because of your child's path of unrighteousness Satan would love to take out two people with one bullet deny him that yes your child needs to see that. [00:11:16]
He needs to see that Jesus is your Supreme treasure and that the solar system of your life does not revolve around your child he is not the sun in your solar system Christ is he doesn't need you falling apart retreating in self-pity pouting that's not helpful he needs you weak and triumphant in Christ. [00:12:02]
May the Lord bring the day when there is a tidal wave of Grace that sweeps thousands of precious prodigals into the ark arms of their parents and of the Lord Jesus amen may it be deeply moving and yet uh hope filled as as well thank you Pastor John for this response and for these seasoned words. [00:12:43]
Thank you for joining us if this episode is prompted in you new questions you can ask Pastor John email us at Ask Pastor John desiringgod.org Pastor John and I will see you on Monday. [00:13:34]