What True Love Feels Like" - Pastor Michael O. Oyedokun, II, M. Div.

Devotional

Day 1: Love one another as Christ has loved you.

Jesus gives a fresh, new commandment to love one another in the same way he has loved—an agape love that identifies discipleship; this is not a suggestion about attendance or tithes but the mode by which the world will know who wears the banner of Christ, and it calls the hearer to move out of comfort and into sacrificial relationship. [02:36]

John 13:34-35 (KJV)
A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.

Reflection: Name one person you find hardest to love; before sundown today, do one concrete, loving act for them (a call, a prayer, a help, or a kind note) to show Christ’s love without waiting for reciprocation.

Day 2: Love's measure: patient, kind, enduring, and selfless.

True Christian love is measured not by convenience but by the qualities of 1 Corinthians 13—patience, kindness, humility, forgiveness, perseverance—so the challenge is to stop keeping records of wrongs, to let love cover and trust, and to allow the Holy Spirit to put down self and lift up Christ's love in daily interactions. [14:32]

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (KJV)
Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.

Reflection: Think of one recent offense you have kept a record of—today, choose one concrete step to release it (write a forgiveness letter you don’t send, pray aloud forgiveness, or make a reconciliation call) and do that step now.

Day 3: Old law limited neighbor; Christ expands neighbor scope.

Where Leviticus allowed people to narrow who counted as "neighbor," Christ expands the object of love to everyone—enemies, strangers, the unlovely—so disciples are called to love beyond comfort zones, to turn the other cheek, and to let the Holy Spirit enable love for those who would not naturally receive it. [10:33]

Leviticus 19:18 (KJV)
Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the LORD.

Reflection: Identify one person you would normally exclude as "not your neighbor" (an enemy, stranger, or someone different); this week, choose one specific act of kindness toward them (a short encouraging message, a small favor, or a prayer offered publicly) and carry it out within 48 hours.

Day 4: God's love gives by self-giving sacrifice.

The heart of God's gift is giving—God loved the world by giving his only begotten Son; that whosoever invitation shows a love that gives before worthiness, calling believers to model the same initiating, sacrificial kindness toward others without waiting for proof of worthiness. [22:30]

John 3:16 (KJV)
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Reflection: Who in your sphere needs to see initiating love today? Pick that person and take one initiating step (send a caring text, offer a practical help, or invite them to pray together) before you sleep tonight.

Day 5: Christ loved and died for sinners first.

Romans teaches that God commended his love toward us while we were yet sinners—Christ died for the undeserving—so the mark of true discipleship is horizontal love springing from that vertical grace; if God loved first, disciples must love others first, even those who have wronged them. [23:52]

Romans 5:8 (KJV)
But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Reflection: Reflect on one person who has wronged you; pray and ask God to show you a specific, small way to bless them this week (a brief message, a helpful errand, or a sincere word of peace) and commit to doing it.

Sermon Summary

We lifted our hearts in praise and asked God to speak, then turned to John 13:34–35 where Jesus gives a new command: love one another as I have loved you. I unpacked what makes that command “new.” It isn’t new in time—God has always called His people to love—but new in scope, measure, and power. In the Old Testament, “neighbor” could be kept comfortably narrow. Jesus widened it to “one another,” which now includes enemy, stranger, and the difficult person in front of you. The measure also changes: not “as yourself,” but “as I have loved you,” with the 1 Corinthians 13 kind of love—patient, kind, not keeping score, enduring when it costs. And the power changes too. We don’t love like this by willpower; we love by the Holy Spirit living and working in us.

I stressed the mirror: love as I have loved you. Not past tense—Jesus is loving us right now. Many of us struggle to love horizontally because we’ve not truly received how deeply we are loved vertically. So I called us to search our “faith file”: when we messed up and God still woke us; when we stole time and God still showed up. God’s nature and God’s gifts define love—John 3:16 and Romans 5:8 show a love that goes first, gives first, dies first, before we even respond.

Then the mark: by this all people will know we are His disciples—by our love for one another. Not by shirts, posts, or decals. If we truly love God, we must love His children; vertical love always presses outward into horizontal love. The cross is our picture of true love: a loving Savior bearing our sin, embracing the undeserving, breaking the cycle of payback with mercy. So I called us to practice this love in hard places—toward those who misunderstand, oppose, or mistreat us—trusting the Spirit to empower what our flesh resists. I ended with a simple resolve: if I want to hear “Well done,” then I will love well—because He first loved me.

Key Takeaways

1. True love extends beyond chosen neighbors Jesus removes the loopholes. “Neighbor” is no longer a circle we draw around people we prefer; it’s whoever God brings across our path—even the hard-to-love. This stretches us out of comfort into Christlikeness. Love becomes a decision to embrace the person in front of you with Christ’s posture. [10:33]
2. Love requires Spirit-empowered obedience This command is not humanly manageable; it’s Spirit-enabled. The Holy Spirit reshapes reactions, softens memory’s scorekeeping, and puts Jesus’ patience into our responses. Our part is surrender—inviting His strength where our strength fails. [16:16]
3. Remember how Jesus loves you We love from being loved. Sit in the present tense of His love—He is loving you now, not once upon a time. Let His mercy toward your failures become the pattern you extend to others, especially when storms try to narrow your vision. [18:18]
4. Love marks authentic Christian discipleship The recognizable badge of following Jesus is not branding but a cruciform love. If we claim vertical love for God, it must show horizontally, especially toward difficult people. Credibility before a watching world grows where sacrificial love is practiced. [25:50]
5. Love practices costly, patient measures 1 Corinthians 13 names the shape of love: patient, kind, not proud, not keeping score, enduring under pressure. This isn’t sentiment; it’s sustained, resilient action. When we refuse to rehearse wrongs and choose the good, love becomes a durable witness. [13:07]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[01:23] - Praise and Opening Prayer
[02:36] - Scripture: John 13:34–35
[03:52] - What True Love Feels Like
[06:18] - Discipleship Defined by Love
[08:14] - What’s “New” About the Command
[10:33] - Neighbor Expanded to Everyone
[13:07] - The Measure: 1 Corinthians 13
[16:16] - Empowered to Love by the Spirit
[17:54] - Mirror: Love as Jesus Loves
[19:36] - Vertical Love Fuels Horizontal Love
[22:30] - Love Gives First: John 3:16
[25:50] - The Mark of a Disciple
[29:32] - Loving in Hard Places
[43:10] - Benediction: I Love You

Bible Study Guide

Bible Reading

John 13:34–35 — “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Observation Questions

What three words in verse 34 describe the command Jesus gives, and why does the preacher call it “new” in experience rather than new in time? [08:14]
Who does the phrase “one another” include according to the sermon’s explanation of the new object of love? Give at least three groups named. [10:33]
What two things does Jesus compare in verse 34 to show how we are to love (the measure and the mirror)? [17:54]
According to verse 35 and the sermon, what visible effect should love for one another have on observers? [25:50]

Interpretation Questions

How does interpreting “as I have loved you” with present-tense language (“I have loved you” = Jesus is loving now) change the way one understands the source and pattern of Christian love? [18:18]
The preacher says the measure of love is described by 1 Corinthians 13 (patient, kind, keeps no record). How does reading John 13:34–35 together with 1 Corinthians 13 shift responsibility from mere feeling to a sustained way of acting? [13:07]
The sermon claims this command requires new power—the Holy Spirit—to obey. What implications does this have for Christians who try to “love” by willpower alone? [16:16]
If “by this all people will know that you are my disciples” is the mark Jesus gives, how should a congregation evaluate whether its public witness is shaped more by marketing (shirts, posts) or by sacrificial love? [25:50]

Application Questions

Name one person you currently avoid, dislike, or find hard to love. What is one short, concrete step (a phone call, a forgiving sentence, a small act of service) you will take toward that person this week? [10:33]
Choose one phrase from 1 Corinthians 13 (for example, “keeps no record of wrongs” or “is patient”). What specific behavior will you practice this week to embody that phrase in a difficult relationship? When and how will you do it? [13:07]
The preacher recommends searching your “faith file” — memories of how God loved you in failures and storms. Describe one moment from your faith file you can recall this week and plan to share it briefly (1–2 sentences) with someone to explain why you can love others even when they hurt you. [19:36]
Before a hard conversation or encounter this week, the sermon urges people to invite the Spirit to empower them. Write a very short prayer you will pray in the moment (one or two lines) and commit to praying it before the next difficult interaction. [16:16]
Identify one public way your life could show that you are a disciple by loving others (examples: consistently answering conflict with mercy, serving a neighbor who opposes you, refusing to retaliate). What is one measurable action you will take in the next 30 days to make that visible? [25:50]
When someone wrongs you, the sermon named actions like “turn the other cheek” and “give the shirt off your back.” Pick a specific wrong you’re currently holding onto. List three practical steps you will take to break the cycle of payback (e.g., stop rehearsing grievances, offer a brief blessing, do one helpful thing for them). Commit to the first step and say when you will do it. [12:13]

Sermon Clips

It was a woman who confessed I was listening to her testimony she said that of all of men she had dated and been in relationship with she said it wasn't until she met her husband that she knew and realized what true love feels like. She said I thought I knew because I had never experienced anything greater than that that I have experienced up until that point but she said when I finally felt it she said I knew now that that that I was doing before really wasn't true but now I understand and I've experienced what true love really feels like. [00:03:57]

Here we see Christ giving this commandment not only to his disciples but to all who read his word he's getting ready to go to the cross he said before I leave you I need to make sure you understand that all that I've done these three years with you is to give you an example of what you are to do once I have left this earth and taken my place on the right hand of the father. [00:05:09]

Can I tell you discipleship goes beyond just coming giving your life over paying your tithes showing up at a few annuals each year discipleship is how you treat one another all of the people that walk on this earth contrary to what you may believe you are not a disciple if you can't love everybody I hate to hurt somebody feeling here on this morning but this is what the text says it says if you don't love one another then you can't identify yourself with me. [00:06:41]

How many of you know that there's a process and a principle and how we're to operate and love each other as Christians every word love in these two verses is agape love not eros love not phileo love not not strange love it's that agape love that unconditional love that God gave to us he said we're to give it out to somebody else he said our responsibility is to love one another just as Christ has loved us. [00:07:24]

He says a new commandment and his word new he's not saying that it never was in existence before but what he's saying is that this commandment this commandment to love one another is a new fresh idea that hadn't been done before it does not mean new in time because love has been important to God's people even from Old Testament time he commanded us in Leviticus chapter 19 and 18. [00:08:34]

So he says the reason why it's new is because in the old commandment in the Old Testament Leviticus 19 and 18 he said folks got a little gray area that they can try to justify not loving everybody he says love in Leviticus chapter 19 he said love your neighbor as yourself but this new commandment says love one another and this new way to love comes with a new significance by Jesus Christ. [00:09:35]

He said it's a new object he says this object hadn't been seen before he says the term neighbor has changed he said in the Old Testament when I said love your neighbor he said folks can just pick out those who are close to them love those who you're comfortable with you can choose who your neighbor is and that's the love that you only had to do and so folks got comfortable with just loving those who look like them. [00:10:16]

But now in this new commandment the term neighbor has expanded to everybody he said love one another not not just your neighbor but any and everybody who comes in your direction he said now my neighbor can be my enemy it can be a stranger he said it can be an unbeliever it can be the worldly it can be the sinful he said his new love can't be held back. [00:11:06]

When you love one another you can't just pick and choose who you love but you gotta love those even if they don't like you the term neighbor has changed he says if you gonna be my disciple if you gonna wear the banner of a christian he said you gotta love those even when they're unlovable so when a turn comes if they slap you on your cheek turn the other if they take your coat give them your shirt too. [00:11:36]

He loved us in spite of them putting them on the cross he loved them in spite of them trying to take his life he loved them in spite of them spitting on them he loved them in spite of all that they did he said the reason why he said because I'm love and I can't do nothing different somebody in here ought to shout that God love you even when you do. [00:12:34]

He said it's a new measure he said the measure used to be loved is to love those used to be loving those who love you he said help those out that you're familiar with when you're in need see that old type of love didn't stretch you it kept you safe Jews love on Jews Gentiles love on Gentiles but now God is expanding the measure. [00:13:03]

He said this new measure is found in 1 Corinthians chapter 13 he said love is patient love is kind does not envy does not boast it's not proud it's not rude it's not self seeking it it's not easily angered it it keeps no record of wrongs love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth love always protects it it always trusts it always perseveres he said love never fails. [00:13:40]

Somebody will say man that don't leave no room for me not to love nobody that no matter what you go through it said love can conquer all so if you want to know what the measure of love is love say I don't keep record I don't hold grudges I let things go love love is patient even though they not where I want them to be I I'm just going to keep praying for them till they get there. [00:14:23]

Christ said look here if you want to know how to operate as my disciple you gotta know how to love and what is the love Jesus demonstrated to the world and he calls us to do the same so not only was there a new object new measure but then he says now it's a new power he says back then when you love somebody you're loving them on your own accord but now the possibility to love as God is telling us to love comes not by your power but by the power of the Holy Spirit. [00:15:07]

You can't love like Christ is telling you to love by trying to do it in your own strength and in your own power and in your own mindset but here it is he said look he said if you're going to love in the way that I'm commanding you to love he said you got to rely and receive the Holy Spirit to walk and put yourself down and let God rise in you and you'll be able to do what I've commanded for you to do. [00:15:48]

If you want to know how to forgive people get the Holy Spirit if you want to know how to deal with folk after they offended you get the Holy Spirit if you want to know how to deal with folk when they don't look like they want to be dealt with I dare you to allow the Holy Spirit to walk in your life God will have you doing stuff you never thought you would be able to anybody in here that somebody messed over you but you still love them and you say it wasn't me but it was only God. [00:16:39]

Jesus does not give any great error he makes it direct plain and clear love one another not in how you want to set it up but love them I love you and you know what I started shouting at the assthat two little words that participle says while I'm loving you he said it's not past tense he said you ought to love one another in the same manner that I'm loving you right now somebody here you ought to shout because you know you messed up but God is still loving you right. [00:17:50]

The problem is I really think the problem that we have of loving one another is that we really don't know and don't expect or experience or really realize how much God has loved us if you I've seen children and people couples that have that don't have the capacity to love in the manner that somebody needs them to love and the root problem is is because they don't know what love looks like if you never experienced love then you don't know how to love. [00:19:07]

The problem that we can't love horizontally is because we don't know that we're loved vertically when I start tripping on loving others as God has loved us I go back in my faith file to start looking at how God loved me and when I start looking at how he loved me then it gives me a blueprint and a measure of how I'm to love somebody else why since when I messed up he still woke me up this morning when I stole money from him he still blessed me when I stole time from him he still showed up in my situation. [00:20:16]

Can I tell you when I'm in my problem when I'm in my storm I stop looking at the problem and start looking at the plan I stop looking at what's going on and I start looking at who's sustaining me I stop looking at folks that don't like me and I start looking at how God loves me and when you stop looking at other folk and you start realizing how much God has how you can love somebody. [00:21:48]

When you love somebody you have a desire to shower them with gifts when you love somebody you want them to keep a smile on their face when you truly love somebody you don't mind giving up yourself and sacrificing for their good when when when love somebody you you don't intentionally put hurt or harm in their when you love somebody you you want them to be in the best position and situation they can be. [00:22:34]

How many of you are willing to love somebody before they love you some of y'all said I loved them from the first time I saw them you say that but you really don't mean it cause they had to demonstrate that they love you back before you truly fell in love and I don't know about you but I'm not just gonna fall in love with somebody unless they first let me know that they fallen in love with me. [00:24:06]

But the God we serve he says I was loving you even before you even knew what love is Jeremiah says while I was in my mama's womb God already had plans for me is there anybody willing to love others love you well let me get out of here I told you about a mode of love I told you about a mirror of love but then thirdly I see a mark of love. [00:25:04]

Verse 35 says by this shall all men know that you are my disciples he says if you love one another he said what are the signs that a Christian is a Christian is it the t-shirt that you wear that says good hope on the front of it is it your Facebook status cause you post a little scripture and a point is it a window decal that you put on your car no no these are not labels of what is a Christian. [00:26:04]

If you want to prove to somebody that you are a Christian it comes from these words by this shall all men know that you are my disciples and can I tell you what is the this and this he follows up and says that if you love one another he says if you're gonna love horizontally he said you can't just love vertically he said because if you love vertically and vertically love comes back down he said you have no choice but to love horizontally. [00:26:53]

He says if you truly been loved by God if you truly love the Lord he said you can't love me and not love my children just the same way he said if you love God you gotta love Christ also he said he is my begotten son and I've heard folks say that if you can't love me and not love my family he says if you love me then you gotta love my family as well and that's what God is telling us. [00:27:35]

He says if you love me then you gotta love your family as well and there's good news to know on this morning that God has loved me and so by this shall all men know that I am I'm a disciple he said what does true love look like on this morning it looks like a loving savior on an old rugged cross it look like a loving savior taking on the sins of the world. [00:28:14]

If you want to know what true love looks like all you got to do is look on the cross because on that cross he died for you and for me he died so I can have an opportunity to love somebody like Christ has loved me and so I made it up in my mind that I want God to give me those words well done good and I pray for service and if I want to hear those words then I better start loving folks who are around me. [00:29:11]

He said you don't even have to go and tell them that you're a disciple he said if you love one another he said it's gonna be evident you ain't even got to go and tell nobody when you loving one another it's gonna be written all over your face somebody gonna look at you just like this centurion soldier Christ didn't have to tell him nothing but after he saw how Christ died and the love that Christ had he said sure this man was a son of God and it's my prayer that we all get to that place where somebody will say sure they are one of the Lord's disciples. [00:39:38]

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