Transforming Relationships Through Personal Growth in Christ

Summary

In today's message, we explored the transformative power of making small, intentional changes in our lives, particularly in our relationships. We are in the midst of a series called "One Degree," which emphasizes the profound impact of altering just one aspect of our lives each month. This approach can lead to significant improvements in our spiritual, emotional, financial, and relational well-being. The focus today was on relationships, which are often challenging and messy, yet deeply valued by God. He cares about every relationship we have, from our family to our coworkers, and even the strangers we encounter daily.

The core idea is that healthier relationships begin with a healthier you. It's not about waiting for others to change but about taking responsibility for our own growth and transformation. By becoming healthier individuals, we can foster more meaningful and fruitful relationships. We delved into the teachings of Paul, particularly from Romans, Ephesians, and Colossians, to understand how we can embody Christ-like qualities in our interactions with others.

Paul's teachings remind us that love is a debt we owe to one another, a debt that fulfills the law. This love is not just about what we do but also about what we refrain from doing. We must put off our old selves, characterized by deceit and corruption, and put on the new self, created to be like God in righteousness and holiness. This transformation requires a change in the attitude of our minds, a renewal that only Christ can bring.

We control the trajectory of our relationships by controlling the character within us. This involves putting off falsehood, anger, manipulation, and unwholesome talk, and instead clothing ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. These virtues, when embraced, lead to healthier relationships and ultimately reflect the love of Christ.

Key Takeaways:

- Healthier relationships start with a healthier you. It's about taking responsibility for your own growth and transformation, rather than waiting for others to change. By becoming healthier individuals, we can foster more meaningful and fruitful relationships. [05:27]

- Love is a debt we owe to one another, fulfilling the law. This love is not just about what we do but also about what we refrain from doing. We must put off our old selves and put on the new self, created to be like God in righteousness and holiness. [09:18]

- We control the trajectory of our relationships by controlling the character within us. This involves putting off falsehood, anger, manipulation, and unwholesome talk, and instead clothing ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. [18:12]

- Embrace the wardrobe of Christ, which offers virtues like compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. These virtues, when embraced, lead to healthier relationships and ultimately reflect the love of Christ. [34:05]

- The power to love those around us comes from Christ. For those who have yet to accept Him, today is an opportunity to believe in their hearts and profess with their mouths that Jesus Christ is Lord, receiving the power to change their lives and relationships. [44:00]

Youtube Chapters:

[00:00] - Welcome
[01:18] - The One Degree Series
[02:58] - New Year's Resolutions and Self-Improvement
[05:27] - Healthier Relationships Begin with You
[09:18] - The Debt of Love
[12:48] - Embracing God's Desire for Relationships
[18:12] - Putting Off the Old Self
[20:04] - Controlling Relationship Trajectories
[21:25] - The Power of One Degree
[22:24] - Being Truthful and Authentic
[24:18] - Managing Anger and Reconciliation
[26:32] - Avoiding Manipulation
[28:24] - The Impact of Unwholesome Talk
[32:57] - Removing the Old Self
[34:05] - Clothing Ourselves with Christ's Virtues
[37:55] - Why We Embrace Christ's Wardrobe
[44:00] - Invitation to Accept Christ

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide: "One Degree" Series on Relationships

Bible Reading:
1. Romans 13:8-10
2. Ephesians 4:22-24
3. Colossians 3:12-14

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Observation Questions:

1. According to Romans 13:8-10, what is the "debt" that we owe to one another, and how does fulfilling this debt relate to the law? [09:18]

2. In Ephesians 4:22-24, what are the steps Paul outlines for transformation, and how do they relate to the concept of putting off the old self and putting on the new self? [18:12]

3. What are the specific virtues mentioned in Colossians 3:12-14 that believers are encouraged to "clothe" themselves with, and how do these virtues contribute to unity? [34:05]

4. How does the sermon describe the relationship between controlling one's character and the trajectory of relationships? [20:04]

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Interpretation Questions:

1. How does the concept of love as a "debt" challenge or affirm your understanding of Christian relationships, and what implications does this have for daily interactions? [09:18]

2. What does it mean to "put off" the old self and "put on" the new self in practical terms, and how might this process look different for each individual? [18:12]

3. In what ways do the virtues listed in Colossians 3:12-14 serve as a foundation for building healthier relationships, and how might they be applied in challenging situations? [34:05]

4. The sermon suggests that we control the "temperature" of our relationships. How might this metaphor help in understanding personal responsibility in relational dynamics? [20:04]

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Application Questions:

1. Reflect on a relationship in your life that could benefit from a "one degree" change. What small, intentional step can you take this week to foster growth in that relationship? [05:27]

2. Consider the idea of love as a debt. How can you actively "pay" this debt in your interactions with family, friends, or coworkers this week? [09:18]

3. Identify an area in your life where you need to "put off" the old self. What practical steps can you take to renew your mind and embrace the new self in Christ? [18:12]

4. Choose one virtue from Colossians 3:12-14 to focus on this week. How can you intentionally incorporate this virtue into your daily interactions? [34:05]

5. Think of a recent situation where you allowed anger or unwholesome talk to affect a relationship. How can you approach similar situations differently in the future? [28:24]

6. Reflect on a time when you felt manipulated or were the manipulator in a relationship. What changes can you make to ensure honesty and integrity in your interactions? [26:32]

7. The sermon emphasizes the power of Christ in transforming relationships. How can you rely more on Christ's strength and guidance in your efforts to improve your relationships? [44:00]

Devotional

Day 1: Personal Growth as the Foundation for Healthy Relationships
Healthier relationships begin with a healthier you. This principle emphasizes the importance of personal growth and transformation as the starting point for improving our interactions with others. Instead of waiting for others to change, we are called to take responsibility for our own development. By focusing on becoming healthier individuals, we can create more meaningful and fruitful relationships. This involves self-reflection, understanding our own shortcomings, and seeking to embody Christ-like qualities in our daily lives. As we grow spiritually and emotionally, we naturally influence those around us, fostering an environment where relationships can thrive. [05:27]

Ephesians 4:22-24 (ESV): "To put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness."

Reflection: Identify one area in your life where you need personal growth. How can you take a step today towards becoming a healthier individual in that area?

Day 2: Love as a Debt and a Fulfillment of the Law
Love is described as a debt we owe to one another, fulfilling the law. This concept goes beyond actions to include what we choose not to do. It involves putting off our old selves, characterized by deceit and corruption, and embracing a new self that reflects God's righteousness and holiness. This transformation requires a change in the attitude of our minds, a renewal that only Christ can bring. By understanding love as a debt, we are reminded of our continuous obligation to love others, which aligns with God's commandments and brings us closer to His likeness. [09:18]

Romans 13:8 (ESV): "Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law."

Reflection: Consider someone you find difficult to love. What is one practical way you can show love to them this week, fulfilling your debt of love?

Day 3: Controlling Relationship Trajectories Through Character
We have the power to control the trajectory of our relationships by controlling the character within us. This involves shedding negative traits such as falsehood, anger, manipulation, and unwholesome talk, and instead clothing ourselves with virtues like compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. By consciously choosing to embody these Christ-like qualities, we can positively influence our relationships and reflect the love of Christ to those around us. This transformation is not just about outward actions but also about cultivating an inner character that aligns with God's will. [18:12]

Colossians 3:12-14 (ESV): "Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony."

Reflection: Reflect on a recent interaction where your character influenced the outcome. How can you intentionally choose virtues like compassion and patience in your next interaction?

Day 4: Embracing the Wardrobe of Christ
Embracing the wardrobe of Christ means clothing ourselves with virtues such as compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. These virtues, when embraced, lead to healthier relationships and ultimately reflect the love of Christ. By adopting this spiritual wardrobe, we align ourselves with God's desires for us and our relationships. This transformation is not just about external behavior but involves a deep, internal change that affects how we interact with others. As we embody these virtues, we become living testimonies of Christ's love and grace in the world. [34:05]

1 Peter 3:8-9 (ESV): "Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing."

Reflection: Which virtue from Christ's wardrobe do you find most challenging to wear? What steps can you take to incorporate it into your daily life?

Day 5: The Power to Love Through Christ
The power to love those around us comes from Christ. For those who have yet to accept Him, today is an opportunity to believe in their hearts and profess with their mouths that Jesus Christ is Lord, receiving the power to change their lives and relationships. This transformative power enables us to love others as Christ loves us, breaking down barriers and fostering genuine connections. By accepting Christ, we open ourselves to His guidance and strength, allowing us to overcome challenges in our relationships and live out His love in our daily interactions. [44:00]

2 Corinthians 5:17-18 (ESV): "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation."

Reflection: Have you fully accepted the power of Christ in your life? If not, what is holding you back from embracing His transformative love today?

Quotes

"We are in the middle of a series. We're on week three, a series called One Degree. And truly, what the basis is, you heard it right there, if you change one thing, one thing a month, spiritually, emotionally, financially, relationally, which is what we're talking about today, you will see a significant change in your life. There's no doubt about it. In fact, the people around you will see a significant change in your life, and you will like that so much that you'll want to change more and want to change more. But it starts with one thing at a time." [00:00:30]

"Relationships are inconvenient, but there's this divide. We feel this way about them, and guess how the Lord feels about them? He cares deeply for your relationships. He cares deeply for your relationship with the people sitting next to you, for the people that maybe are your children, your offspring, your co-workers. He cares deeply about your relationship with you. you and your boss he cares deeply about that gosh he cares deeply about the relationship that you have with the person that's going to be serving your food at the restaurant where you go at whatever restaurants open today he cares about that relationship and a lot of times you know it because i mean we're not foolish most of the time when we talk about relationships we're talking about broken relationships there's a finger that's pointed and you and it's i'm guilty of it you're guilty of it it's your fault it's you need to change you need to fix this i've heard it so many times in my life you need to you need to what we need to do today is understand there's this divide of how we feel about relationships and how god feels about relationships and who takes responsibility for changing that relationship and it's not the person at the end of the pointed finger it's the person on the opposite side it's us we have to make a change in ourselves to have a healthier relationship here's the big idea today you can experience healthier relationships if you become a healthier you it all depends on you it's a change of perspective in your life that it's not them that needs to change it's you you want to experience healthier relationships you want to experience fruitful relationships do you want to experience meaningful relationships think about all the folks that you could have relationships" [00:05:27]

"with, your wife, your kids, your boss, your co-workers, whoever it is. We can experience healthier relationships in each of those avenues if we become healthier, not them. We become healthier. Pretty interesting. We're going to jump into some scripture today. This is the Paulian approach to relationships. We're looking at Romans. We're looking at Ephesians. We're looking at Colossians. All of these scriptures come out of there. I would encourage you to take those scriptures and go home today and read them in their entirety. We're just picking some parts out of this to talk about his approach to relationships. We're reading out of Romans and it says this, let no debt remain outstanding." [00:07:24]

"Don't remain outstanding in your debt, except there is one debt that you will never, you can never, and you should never pay off, ever. It's this, the continuing debt to love and love. One another. You ever thought of it that way, that you actually owe a debt to the people around you to love them? You owe people the you that loves them. Why? Because whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. Who fulfilled the law? Jesus. Sunday school. Jesus fulfilled the law. He fulfilled the law. He fulfilled the prophets. He fulfilled all of that. Isn't it interesting? Isn't it hopeful that you too, through the love of Christ for one another, can fulfill the law? You can. I can. Through our love for one another. We must realize that we have the power. We get to choose. We get to choose. Here's the commandments. We know these." [00:08:34]

"right we got them in our courthouses we used to have them in our schools right we we this is we know these things okay how do you love your neighbor well the commandments you shall not commit adultery you shall not murder you shall not steal you shall not covet and and whatever other command there is maybe they're all summed up in this one command now don't move on we all know that command we've heard jesus say this before i just want to point out here really quick i don't think anybody in this room i hope you don't or else the person next to you is going to think a little differently about you i don't think you wake up in the morning and say you know what i need today i need a good cup of coffee and then i'm going to walk next door and i'm just going to murder my neighbor right i hope that's not you no one wakes up and says you know what i need that i need good coffee cup of coffee i need a good jog and then i'm going to go to town and i'm going to knock over the first bank i see i hope that's not you so there's some implication here too well how are we supposed to love our neighbor of course of course i don't want to kill them of course i don't want to lust after them right of course i don't want to steal from them here's what's interesting these are actions sometimes love is not just what you give you don't want to steal from them you don't want to steal from them you don't want to steal to people sometimes love is what you don't do to people and we're broken we have a sinful nature that at the end of the day will will quickly resort back to these things and jesus said this i know you don't want to go murder but what did jesus say about it that if you hate someone in your heart it's as bad as murder what did jesus say about adultery if you lust after someone in your heart it's as bad as the action right it's the same with stealing it's the same with coveting all of these actions we must not do these are the ought nots we must try hard to not do these and in not doing these strangely in not doing this you show love to your neighbor but they're all summed up every law is summed up in this love your neighbor as yourself jesus said it" [00:09:50]

"Love your neighbor as yourself. And we're going to say this word a lot today, neighbor. And I want you to consider the Samaritan road. I want you to consider what Jesus said about the good Samaritan. And I want to encourage you with this. It is not about who your neighbor is as much as it's about what kind of neighbor you are. What kind of neighbor are you? You should love your neighbor as yourself. How are you loving yourself? That's how you should love your neighbor. Love does no harm to a neighbor. It's an action. We must restrain. We must show restraint in our relationships to not harm our neighbor. Therefore, love is the fulfillment of the law. Point one, we can have healthier relationships when we embrace healthy relationships. How deeply God wants them for you. All throughout Scripture. All throughout Scripture, we are reminded of how much God deeply cares about our relationship to people. And I think it has less to do with us. He doesn't say be in a relationship for you. Yeah, you're going to grow from it." [00:12:17]

"But find common relation with people so that you can bless them. You ever considered that you, you might be the blessing that God wants to bless other people with? It might be you. It may be me. I may be the blessing. Oh man, that makes me feel good about myself. Well, maybe God does want to bless someone through me. Therefore, I'm going to embrace how deeply God wants relationship for me. Let's keep on reading. Now you were taught with regard to your former way of life. To put off. Now you see in yellow here, put off, put on. These are garment statements. Okay, so I want you to consider with me really quick that on this stage over here is a wardrobe. A wardrobe of my old self. Okay? And in regard to that former way of life, that's me. That's my old wardrobe. Put it off. Put off that old self. Why? Because it's corrupted. It's deceitful." [00:13:34]

"that that wardrobe is full of moths that wardrobe is full of stained dirty wicked deceitful clothing that i used to wear and what paul's telling us is this is chronological by the way that these have to happen in order you can't you can't go one to the other it has to happen in order you must put off that old wardrobe that those old garments that you had because they're deceitful they're corrupted to be made new in the attitude of your mind when he says attitude of your mind we all know somebody with a bad attitude don't we don't nod too much because the person next to you will know it's them we all know someone with a bad attitude well guess who has the bad attitude today we do we have this bad attitude and that old self is corrupted deceitful and the way to get rid of it is to put it off and to make new your attitude of your mind it's like it's like taking off and standing bare before the lord that word attitude here is is the same word for breath deep within you who you are you must be made new and put on the new self you must be made new and put on the new self created to be like god in true righteousness and holiness all right a couple summers ago my son and i we um we endeavored to work on a cattle ranch so uh we we took on a summer job and we were just working and if you want to smell really interesting things work on a cattle farm in the midst of the summer in the heat of that summer you'll experience things that should never be talked about we were feeding cows we were fixing fences manly work getting my hands dirty right we were chopping up trees and lifting stumps and just having at it and every day i would come home from working so hard in the field and i would come home and i'd have my work clothes on and i would be i'm so sorry for the mental images drenched in sweat and i would be i'm so sorry for the mental images drenched in sweat" [00:14:28]

"filthy just mud caked in place how did it get back there what is this and my son would look that way too and some of those nights i would have a date night planned for my wife and i want i want to ask you this what would it have been like if i would have come home and i put off that old clothing and i skipped the renewing of my mind which would be a shower and i put on my new clothes do you think the date would have went well for me absolutely not she just said you're not riding in the same car with me get out of here right this is a chronological order and we as christ followers must you cannot you cannot put on the new self you can't put on the new self the garment that Christ offers of righteousness and holiness without first taking off the old garment. There must be a change. Something has to change. You must change it. And when you change it, you must, as I'm just telling you, shower. Change the attitude, the inside of your mind. And there's only one way to do that. Christ. Christ. Only He can do that. And then what happens is, there's this new wardrobe that's open to you." [00:17:05]

"This wardrobe that only comes from Christ. And in that wardrobe, you have unfettered access to everything that Christ has. And He says, you want to wear that? Wear it. You want to wear that? Man, go for it. You'll look great in that. We're going to hear what some of those things are, but ultimately, when you wear from the wardrobe, you're going to have unfettered access to everything that Christ has. Wardrobe of Christ. Here's what you can guarantee will happen. You'll have right standing because of Christ. You'll be set apart holiness because of Christ. You control the trajectory of your relationships. We control the trajectory of our relationships by controlling the character within us. And the only way to do that, to control that character, is for us to take off the old, put off the old, be made new in the attitude of our mind, and to put on, in the likeness of Christ, what He offers us from His wardrobe. Now, I talked a second ago about the finger pointing. That's typically how it goes, right?" [00:18:12]

"I can't have a, I can't even talk to you because you're, right? It's the pointing of the finger. Guess who has control over the climate I say this in marriage counseling a lot. You are the temperature keeper of your relationships. Did you know you have that power? Just as someone walks up to the temperature gauge on the wall and turns the temperature up and down, we get to decide personally what the temperature is in every relationship that we have, every conversation that we have. You're empowered to do that. I'm empowered to do that. We control the trajectory of our relationships by controlling the character, who you are, within us. All right, don't read that yet. Public announcement, okay? This is a series called One Degree. We are not, you will not be browbeat today into changing your entire life, except if you accept Christ, okay, which will absolutely change your entire life." [00:20:00]

"If you relate to some of the things that we've been talking about, some of the things that we're going to talk about in just a moment, it's going to be overwhelming. I just want you to know that the list is long. Do not get overwhelmed. This is a series about changing one thing at a time in your life, not changing your entire life right now. If that happens in this room, man, we're going to take up another offering. It's going to be amazing because that's going to be crazy. Everything changed in his life, right? One thing, one thing, one thing, okay? The second thing is this. Remember, no browbeating. There should be no looking at your neighbor and saying, oh yeah, you need to change that. We thought about putting elbow pads under the seats for the wives because we did not want the husbands leaving here bruised, hurt, and harmed. We want them to look good in the community today, okay?" [00:20:54]

"It is so easy for us to point fingers. And honestly, the relationships we're talking about today could be the problem. We're not going to be browbeat. It could be the person sitting next to you. Could be the person sitting next to you. It could be a person at work tomorrow. It could be your child. Honestly, every relationship in your life matters to the Lord. Every relationship. Why? Because he wants to bless them through you. He wants to bless them through you. So let's jump into this. This is the put-offs, okay? Therefore, each of you must put off. This is all. all of these things, falsehood, and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. The word used in falsehood here is pseudo, which means fake, which means a sham, a pseudo you. We must, as Christ followers, put off being a pseudo you, a false you, and we must be truthful." [00:21:25]

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Transcript

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