Transforming Relationships Through Forgiveness and Love
Summary
In today's message, I shared a deeply personal experience that highlighted the importance of forgiveness and love in our relationships, especially when the "wine" seems to have run out. A recent family situation stirred up old feelings of anger within me, reminiscent of a temper I hadn't felt in decades. This anger threatened to overshadow my desire to worship and connect with God. However, through worship and reflection, the Holy Spirit led me to a passage in John 2 about Jesus turning water into wine at the wedding in Cana. This passage, though unexpected, prompted me to consider what we do when the "wine" runs out in our relationships.
Reflecting on my own marriage, I recalled times when the initial joy and love seemed to fade, replaced by strife and bitterness. The Lord taught me that being right in an argument is less important than loving rightly. The power of God is intertwined with His love, and when we prioritize being right over loving others, we stray from His path. This lesson extended beyond my marriage to other relationships, including a challenging one with a boss. The Lord urged me to apologize and mend my attitude, emphasizing that our reactions and attitudes matter deeply to Him.
In Matthew 24, Jesus warns of a time when many will be offended, leading to betrayal and coldness of heart. This warning is directed at the church, urging us to maintain agape love, the unconditional love of God. Holding onto offenses can lead to lawlessness, where we become a law unto ourselves, prioritizing our desires over God's commands. True unity in the body of Christ requires letting go of offenses and embracing forgiveness, even when it's difficult.
Forgiveness is not always instant; sometimes, it's a process. Jesus' instruction to forgive "seventy times seven" reminds us that forgiveness may need to be repeated until it becomes complete. As we pour out our grievances and bitterness, God can transform them into new wine, renewing our relationships and filling us with His love. This new wine is a promise of greater things to come, a blessing that flows when we dwell together in unity and love.
Key Takeaways:
- The Power of Forgiveness: Forgiveness is a powerful act that can transform relationships. It requires humility and a willingness to let go of the need to be right. When we prioritize love over being right, we align ourselves with God's power and purpose. [13:12]
- The Danger of Offense: Holding onto offenses can lead to spiritual coldness and division within the church. Jesus warns that many will be offended, leading to betrayal and hatred. We must guard against this by embracing agape love, which is unconditional and transformative. [17:47]
- The Process of Forgiveness: Forgiveness is not always immediate; it can be a process that requires repeated effort. Jesus' teaching to forgive "seventy times seven" highlights the need for persistent forgiveness until it becomes complete and healing occurs. [29:34]
- Unity in Diversity: True unity in the body of Christ does not mean uniformity. We can have different opinions and preferences, but we must love one another despite these differences. This love is a testament to our discipleship and reflects God's love for us. [24:46]
- New Wine, New Blessings: God promises new wine, a symbol of renewed relationships and blessings. As we let go of past grievances and embrace forgiveness, we open ourselves to the new things God wants to do in our lives and communities. [33:10]
Youtube Chapters:
- [00:00] - Welcome
- [01:48] - Personal Struggle with Anger
- [04:37] - The Wedding at Cana
- [08:04] - The Honeymoon Period
- [09:28] - Marriage as a War Zone
- [12:25] - The Call to Apologize
- [14:30] - The Power of Love Over Being Right
- [15:47] - Apologizing to a Difficult Boss
- [16:32] - The Culture of Offense
- [17:47] - Agape Love in the Church
- [18:47] - The Danger of Holding Grudges
- [19:46] - Lawlessness in the Body of Christ
- [20:52] - The Transformation of Anger to Love
- [21:54] - The Sin of Gossip
- [24:07] - True Unity in the Body of Christ
- [26:26] - Steps to Reconciliation
- [28:18] - The Process of Forgiveness
- [31:09] - New Wine, New Blessings
- [33:10] - Following Jesus' Instructions
Study Guide
### Bible Study Discussion Guide
#### Bible Reading
- John 2:1-11
- Matthew 24:10-12
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#### Observation Questions
1. In John 2:1-11, what was the significance of Jesus turning water into wine at the wedding in Cana? How did this miracle manifest His glory? [04:37]
2. According to the sermon, what personal experience did the pastor share that related to the theme of forgiveness and love? [01:48]
3. How does the pastor describe the change in his marriage when the "wine" ran out, and what was the turning point for renewal? [09:28]
4. What does Matthew 24:10-12 warn about the state of love and offense in the church, and how does this relate to the pastor's message on forgiveness? [17:47]
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#### Interpretation Questions
1. How does the miracle at Cana serve as a metaphor for renewing relationships when the initial joy and love seem to fade? [04:37]
2. What does the pastor mean when he says, "If we are more interested in being right than loving right, we are not moving in the power of God"? How does this apply to personal relationships? [13:12]
3. In what ways does holding onto offenses lead to spiritual coldness and division within the church, as mentioned in Matthew 24:10-12? [17:47]
4. How can the process of forgiveness, as described by Jesus in forgiving "seventy times seven," be applied to ongoing grievances in our lives? [29:34]
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#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a time when you prioritized being right over loving someone rightly. How did it affect your relationship, and what steps can you take to prioritize love in similar situations? [13:12]
2. Consider a relationship in your life where the "wine" seems to have run out. What practical steps can you take to renew that relationship with love and forgiveness? [09:28]
3. How can you guard against the culture of offense in your own life and within your church community? What specific actions can you take to promote agape love? [17:47]
4. Identify a person or situation where you need to practice the process of forgiveness. What is one step you can take this week to begin or continue this process? [29:34]
5. Think about a time when you held onto an offense. How did it impact your spiritual life and relationships? What can you do to let go of such offenses and embrace unity? [19:46]
6. How can you actively contribute to unity in diversity within your church, loving others despite differences in opinions and preferences? [24:46]
7. What is one area in your life where you need to pour out your grievances and allow God to transform them into new wine? How can you take a step towards this transformation today? [33:10]
Devotional
Day 1: The Transformative Power of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a powerful act that can transform relationships and requires humility and a willingness to let go of the need to be right. When we prioritize love over being right, we align ourselves with God's power and purpose. In our relationships, there are times when the "wine" seems to have run out, and the initial joy and love fade away. It is in these moments that forgiveness becomes essential. By choosing to forgive, we allow God's love to flow through us, renewing and restoring our connections with others. This act of forgiveness is not just about letting go of past grievances but also about embracing a future filled with love and unity. [13:12]
"Bear with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive." (Colossians 3:13, ESV)
Reflection: Think of a relationship in your life where the "wine" seems to have run out. How can you begin to pour out forgiveness and allow God's love to renew it today?
Day 2: Guarding Against the Danger of Offense
Holding onto offenses can lead to spiritual coldness and division within the church. Jesus warns that many will be offended, leading to betrayal and hatred. We must guard against this by embracing agape love, which is unconditional and transformative. Offenses can create barriers between us and others, hindering our ability to love as God commands. By choosing to let go of offenses, we open ourselves to the healing and unity that God desires for His church. This requires a conscious effort to prioritize love over personal grievances, allowing God's love to transform our hearts and relationships. [17:47]
"Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense." (Proverbs 19:11, ESV)
Reflection: Identify a recent offense that you have been holding onto. How can you choose to overlook it and embrace agape love instead?
Day 3: Embracing the Process of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is not always immediate; it can be a process that requires repeated effort. Jesus' teaching to forgive "seventy times seven" highlights the need for persistent forgiveness until it becomes complete and healing occurs. This process involves continually choosing to forgive, even when it feels difficult or repetitive. As we pour out our grievances and bitterness, God can transform them into new wine, renewing our relationships and filling us with His love. This ongoing journey of forgiveness is a testament to our commitment to love as God loves, allowing His grace to work in and through us. [29:34]
"Then Peter came up and said to him, 'Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?' Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.'" (Matthew 18:21-22, ESV)
Reflection: Reflect on a situation where forgiveness has been a struggle. What steps can you take today to continue the process of forgiveness and allow God's healing to begin?
Day 4: Unity in Diversity Within the Body of Christ
True unity in the body of Christ does not mean uniformity. We can have different opinions and preferences, but we must love one another despite these differences. This love is a testament to our discipleship and reflects God's love for us. In a world that often emphasizes division, the church is called to be a beacon of unity, demonstrating the power of love that transcends differences. By embracing diversity and choosing to love one another, we reflect the heart of God and His desire for His people to dwell together in harmony. [24:46]
"May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ." (Romans 15:5-6, ESV)
Reflection: Consider a difference of opinion or preference you have with someone in your church community. How can you choose to love them and work towards unity despite these differences?
Day 5: Opening Ourselves to New Wine and New Blessings
God promises new wine, a symbol of renewed relationships and blessings. As we let go of past grievances and embrace forgiveness, we open ourselves to the new things God wants to do in our lives and communities. This new wine is a promise of greater things to come, a blessing that flows when we dwell together in unity and love. By choosing to forgive and love, we position ourselves to receive the fullness of God's blessings, allowing His transformative power to work in and through us. This journey of renewal is not just for our benefit but also for the glory of God and the advancement of His kingdom. [33:10]
"Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." (Isaiah 43:19, ESV)
Reflection: What past grievances do you need to let go of to open yourself to the new blessings God has for you? How can you actively embrace forgiveness and unity in your life today?
Quotes
"He said, you need to apologise to her. He said, let me tell you something, son. He says, you might be right, but even when you're right, you're wrong. I said, Lord, I'm either right or I'm wrong. I can't be right and wrong. He says, no. He says, you might be statistically right and factually right, but is it worth upsetting your wife just to win an argument?" [00:13:12] (27 seconds)
"And the Lord said, I want you to go and apologise to him. I said, why Lord? I'm not going to go and apologise to him. He's in the wrong here. It's nothing to do with me. He's wrong me. And the Lord said, yes, but your attitude towards him is wrong. Because you've talked bad about him. You've bad mouthed him." [00:15:47] (17 seconds)
"And Jesus is asked a question by his disciples in Matthew 24 and he's asked, so what are the signs then of the end times Lord? And he says, and then many will fall away. That literally means be offended. Okay? Many will be offended and betray one another and hate one another. And many false prophets will arise and lead many astray. And because lawlessness will be increased, the love of many will grow cold." [00:16:42] (29 seconds)
"And too many people in the body of Christ hold on to offences for that long it actually eats away at them. And your people here this morning, I know because the Lord told me last night, there are people here this morning that you're holding on to a hurt, a grievance, something that somebody spoke over you, something that somebody did and you failed to forgive them." [00:19:01] (21 seconds)
"And I'm telling you, if you've got broken relationships, in here today, however much it's broken, it might seem like it's ready for the knacker's yard. But I'm telling you, it's not irreparable to God. But the first thing you've got to tell somebody, don't suffer in silence. Somebody told Mary, because Mary knew they'd run out of wine." [00:27:10] (25 seconds)
"And what he wants is to fill us with this new wine. So what flows out of our mouth, what flows out of our life, what flows out of our attitudes, what flows out of our responses, what comes out of our love for one another, he's him. That agape love. Which means I might not agree with you, I might not even like you. But I'm going to love you because Jesus tells me to." [00:30:50] (27 seconds)
"See, it's not the hurt. The good. It's not the hurt that kills you. The hurt is not good. The hurt is very real and the hurt is painful. But it's not that that kills you. It's the bitterness and unforgiveness that does." [00:36:14] (18 seconds)
"What are you holding on to this morning? How do you know you're holding on to it? Because you keep talking about it. You keep playing it over. You keep bringing it up. I'll tell you something. Do you know how many sins Jesus Christ has brought up? Past sins Jesus Christ has brought up in my life. I'll give you a clue. It's less than one." [00:36:59] (23 seconds)
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