Transforming Marriage Through Heavenly Values and Forgiveness

 

Summary

Setting our minds on things above is a transformative practice that can profoundly impact our lives and relationships. As husbands, one of the most significant gifts you can offer your wife is to lead your family with a focus on heavenly values rather than earthly desires. This mindset shift is crucial because where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. If your treasure is in earthly things, you will inevitably face pain and sin. However, by storing up treasures in heaven, you secure something eternal and unshakeable. This perspective is not just about avoiding worldly pitfalls but about embracing a life that reflects eternal values in every decision, especially in marriage.

Marriage is not about self-fulfillment but about serving Christ. We often fall into the trap of thinking about our own needs and desires, but the call is to do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus. This includes our marriages, where we are to work as unto the Lord, not for human approval. This requires a new perspective, a shift from self-centeredness to Christ-centeredness. Even when our spouse does not motivate us, our commitment to Christ should drive us to love and serve them.

Forgiveness is a cornerstone of any relationship, especially marriage. We are called to forgive as the Lord has forgiven us, which is a profound and challenging command. This forgiveness is not based on merit but on grace, reflecting the forgiveness we have received from God. In marriage, and indeed in all relationships, we will inevitably offend one another. Therefore, cultivating a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience is essential. These virtues are not just ideals but practical necessities for maintaining healthy and godly relationships.

Key Takeaways:

1. Heavenly Focus in Marriage: Setting your mind on things above transforms your marriage by aligning it with eternal values. This focus helps you lead your family away from worldly distractions and towards a life that reflects God's kingdom. It is a call to prioritize spiritual treasures over earthly ones, ensuring that your heart is anchored in what truly matters. [00:13]

2. Marriage as Service to Christ: Marriage is not about personal fulfillment but about serving Christ. By doing everything in the name of the Lord, including our marriages, we shift from self-centeredness to Christ-centeredness. This perspective changes our motivation, encouraging us to love and serve our spouse as an act of worship to God. [03:14]

3. Forgiveness as a Foundation: Forgiveness is essential in marriage, reflecting the grace we have received from God. We are called to forgive as the Lord has forgiven us, which requires a heart of compassion and humility. This practice is vital for maintaining healthy relationships and is a testament to our faith. [07:00]

4. Cultivating Godly Virtues: Developing virtues like compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience is crucial for any relationship. These qualities are not just ideals but practical necessities that enable us to live out our faith in our interactions with others. They help us to be a fountain of grace and forgiveness. [06:03]

5. Self-Reflection and Growth: Regularly reflecting on how we can improve in our relationships fosters humility and growth. Asking for feedback from our spouse or loved ones helps us identify areas for improvement and strengthens our relationships. This practice builds a heart of compassion and humility, which is precious to God. [09:35]

Youtube Chapters:

[00:00] - Welcome
[00:13] - Setting Your Mind on Things Above
[00:36] - Leading Your Family with Eternal Values
[01:11] - Storing Treasures in Heaven
[02:03] - Husbands, Set the Standard
[02:37] - Marriage is Not About You
[03:14] - Doing Everything in the Name of the Lord
[04:02] - Working as Unto the Lord
[04:52] - A New Perspective in Marriage
[05:27] - Motivation Beyond Spousal Influence
[06:03] - Identity and Godly Virtues
[07:00] - Forgiveness in Relationships
[08:16] - The Necessity of Forgiveness
[09:07] - Self-Reflection and Humility
[09:50] - Building Compassion and Kindness

Study Guide

### Bible Study Discussion Guide

#### Bible Reading
1. Colossians 3:1-2 - "Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things."
2. Colossians 3:17 - "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."
3. Colossians 3:12-13 - "Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."

#### Observation Questions
1. According to Colossians 3:1-2, what are believers instructed to focus their minds on, and why might this be important in the context of marriage? [00:13]
2. How does Colossians 3:17 suggest we approach our actions and decisions, particularly in marriage? [03:14]
3. What virtues are listed in Colossians 3:12-13, and how are they connected to forgiveness in relationships? [06:03]
4. In the sermon, what is described as the most significant gift a husband can offer his wife? [00:36]

#### Interpretation Questions
1. How might setting your mind on things above (Colossians 3:1-2) transform a marriage, according to the sermon? [00:13]
2. What does it mean to do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, especially in the context of marriage, as discussed in the sermon? [03:14]
3. How does the concept of forgiveness in Colossians 3:13 challenge common perceptions of forgiveness in marriage? [07:00]
4. Why is cultivating virtues like compassion and humility essential for maintaining healthy relationships, as highlighted in the sermon? [06:03]

#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on your current focus in life. Are there specific earthly distractions that prevent you from setting your mind on things above? How can you address these distractions this week? [00:13]
2. In what ways can you intentionally serve your spouse as an act of worship to God, even when they do not motivate you? [05:27]
3. Think of a recent conflict in your marriage or another relationship. How can you apply the principle of forgiving as the Lord forgave you in that situation? [07:00]
4. Identify one virtue from Colossians 3:12-13 that you find challenging to embody. What practical steps can you take to cultivate this virtue in your daily interactions? [06:03]
5. How can you create a regular practice of self-reflection and growth in your relationships? Consider asking your spouse or a close friend for feedback on how you can improve. [09:35]
6. What specific actions can you take to lead your family with a focus on heavenly values rather than earthly desires? [00:36]
7. How can you ensure that your marriage reflects eternal values in every decision you make together? [03:14]

Devotional

Day 1: Heavenly Focus in Marriage
Setting your mind on things above transforms your marriage by aligning it with eternal values. This focus helps you lead your family away from worldly distractions and towards a life that reflects God's kingdom. It is a call to prioritize spiritual treasures over earthly ones, ensuring that your heart is anchored in what truly matters. By doing so, you create a foundation that is not easily shaken by the challenges of life. This heavenly focus is not just about avoiding the pitfalls of earthly desires but about embracing a life that mirrors the eternal values of love, grace, and faithfulness. [00:13]

Colossians 3:1-2 (ESV): "If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth."

Reflection: What is one earthly distraction that often takes your focus away from heavenly values in your marriage? How can you intentionally redirect your focus today?


Day 2: Marriage as Service to Christ
Marriage is not about personal fulfillment but about serving Christ. By doing everything in the name of the Lord, including our marriages, we shift from self-centeredness to Christ-centeredness. This perspective changes our motivation, encouraging us to love and serve our spouse as an act of worship to God. When we view marriage as a service to Christ, it transforms our actions and attitudes, allowing us to see our spouse through the lens of grace and love. This shift in perspective helps us to prioritize our relationship with God, which in turn strengthens our marriage. [03:14]

Ephesians 5:21 (ESV): "Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ."

Reflection: In what ways can you serve your spouse today as an act of worship to Christ? How does this change your approach to daily interactions with them?


Day 3: Forgiveness as a Foundation
Forgiveness is essential in marriage, reflecting the grace we have received from God. We are called to forgive as the Lord has forgiven us, which requires a heart of compassion and humility. This practice is vital for maintaining healthy relationships and is a testament to our faith. In marriage, offenses are inevitable, but forgiveness allows us to move past them and grow stronger together. By embracing forgiveness, we mirror the grace that God extends to us, creating a foundation of love and understanding in our relationships. [07:00]

Colossians 3:13 (ESV): "Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive."

Reflection: Think of a recent conflict with your spouse. How can you extend forgiveness and grace in this situation today?


Day 4: Cultivating Godly Virtues
Developing virtues like compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience is crucial for any relationship. These qualities are not just ideals but practical necessities that enable us to live out our faith in our interactions with others. They help us to be a fountain of grace and forgiveness. By cultivating these virtues, we create an environment where love and understanding can flourish, allowing us to reflect God's character in our relationships. This intentional development of godly virtues strengthens our bonds and deepens our faith. [06:03]

Galatians 5:22-23 (ESV): "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."

Reflection: Which godly virtue do you find most challenging to practice in your marriage? What steps can you take to cultivate this virtue today?


Day 5: Self-Reflection and Growth
Regularly reflecting on how we can improve in our relationships fosters humility and growth. Asking for feedback from our spouse or loved ones helps us identify areas for improvement and strengthens our relationships. This practice builds a heart of compassion and humility, which is precious to God. By engaging in self-reflection, we open ourselves to the transformative work of the Holy Spirit, allowing us to grow in love and understanding. This ongoing process of growth and self-awareness is essential for nurturing healthy and godly relationships. [09:35]

Psalm 139:23-24 (ESV): "Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

Reflection: What is one area in your marriage where you feel you need to grow? How can you seek feedback from your spouse to help you in this journey?

Quotes


husbands if you're listening do you want to know the most wonderful thing you can do for your wife it's to set your mind on things above and to set the tone of your home on things above not the things of this world I tell Francis very regularly that that is the thing I am most grateful for that he is a man who has led me and our children towards the the things above [00:13]

where is your treasure is your treasure here because wherever your treasure treasure is that's where your heart is going to be so if your treasure is here on Earth if this is what you're living for then by all means you're going to do what thou Wilt you're just going to do what you want and there's going to be a lot of pain and sin and ugliness that comes from that [00:56]

if you set your mind on things above and you store up for yourselves Treasures in Heaven where nothing can destroy it or touch it or take it away there's so many times when Francis will sit the kids and eye down and he'll say this is the decision that we're making because we're not ever going to regret this in light of Eternity in light of what's coming we're not going to live for this world [01:20]

whatever you do in word or deed do all in the name of the Lord Jesus giving thanks through him to God the father and I'm like well that's kind of a weird verse Lord but not really whatever you you do you mean even marriage have you guys when is the last time you considered you know what this marriage I'm doing this in the name of the Lord Jesus [03:11]

whatever you do do your work hardly as for the Lord rather than for men here he's talking talking about your work cuz he literally was talking about slaves in verse 22 obey those who are your Masters on Earth not with external Service as those who merely please men but with sincerity of heart fearing the Lord [03:48]

you could go to your job and you've got the worst boss ever and you hate your job but you choose to do it at as unto the Lord because that's what we're called to as Believers it doesn't matter what Earthly things you see or are involved in your circumstances are not what Define you you do your work as unto the Lord because you fear God [04:21]

in the same way in marriage it's like we just need a A New Perspective we just need a mind shift like this Mar I'm so about myself in this marriage all I'm thinking about is what I I need and what I want and what I wish he or she was like or what he or she would do for me and you're not thinking this marriage is for Christ [04:46]

I want to work in my marriage as unto the Lord and that changes your whole motivation you guys Francis will not always motivate me to do what is right sometimes he does because he's a pretty good husband but what about when you have a husband who's not so great do you get like the get out of jail free card that you don't have to be a loving wife or a loving husband [05:11]

God calls us to something deeper and greater as Believers no do everything as unto the Lord so the first thing you have to do in your marriage is remember that it is not about you it is about Christ and it is for Christ and if you look in Colossians 3 starting in verse 12 it just gives this beautiful passage that I think you can just so take to heart as a preaching for all of us but especially for marrieds [05:37]

put on a heart of compassion kindness humility gentleness and patience bearing with one another and for forgiving each other Whoever has a complaint against anyone just as the Lord forgave you so also should you when is the last time it was in your heart to say when someone offended you God give me the grace to forgive them as you have forgiven me [06:43]

if you are going to enter into a marriage relationship you will need to forgive you cannot be in a relationship with any other person for any length of time and not need forgiveness can I hear anyone say amen I don't care if it's your child your sister your mother your brother man we offend one another we are sinful people and we just want to be this Fountain of forgiveness and Grace to offer to people [08:04]

if you could just take this test maybe on your own you can ask yourself you can ask your spouse here's where I rate myself in putting on on a heart of compassion kindness humility gentleness patience and that forbearing Spirit forgiveness man where are you at with that that we could just sit for a good hour and and deal with some things with the Lord [08:56]

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Transcript
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