Transforming Hearts: The Power of Words and Identity

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ask God for help I love this verse Psalm 141:3 Lord help me control my tongue help me to be careful about what I say in fact that's a great verse to memorize when you squeeze your life your heart you know what comes out whatever's inside whatever's inside so the problem I'm facing in my life with my anger with my struggles with lashing out at the people that I love the most I can't blame them I can't blame the circumstance because the problem is inside the heart of the problem is a problem of the heart [00:12:34]

the key is to change your heart the key is to change what's inside if you've got a well and the well has bad water fixing the pump isn't going to help what's in the well that's the problem with a lot of self-help books they tell you how to fix the pump but they don't how to tell you how to fix the water that's in the well and unless you fix that things aren't going to change so what do you do how do you make a difference you let God's spirit start to fill your life [00:13:34]

the Bible says in Galatians 5:22 that the fruit of the spirit is love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness self-control that's the fruit of God's spirit in our lives I have found that when I'm filled with myself when I'm filled with Tom almost anything can upset me in fact I can make up things that will upset me when I'm filled with myself but if I'm filled with God's spirit almost nothing will upset me because I'm filled with his love his Joy his peace [00:14:04]

now the dirty Secret in millions of homes is out of control anger last year 4 million wives were beaten by their husbands that is unacceptable last year in America 10 million children were beaten by their parents that is unacceptable that is the thing that has to be dealt with I want you to know that if you're being abused if you're being hurt you need to get help now and we will help you Saddleback Church will help you we have over 350 counselors in this church who give an average of a thousand hours a year in counseling [00:15:03]

whether you are the victim or you are the perpetrator you both need help but the key is in humility you've got to admit it you've got to own up to it you've got to admit it the Bible says God gives grace to the humble Grace is the power you need to change you say well I know I've got this problem but I can't talk about it then it's already out of control any problem you can't talk honestly about in your life whether it's pornography or anger or lust or greed or whatever it is panic whatever Pro what whatever the problem is in your life doesn't really matter if you can't talk about it it's already out of control [00:15:54]

I must base my identity in Jesus Jesus you got to change what you build your identity on I must base my identity in Jesus that he loves me unconditionally that I am his that I am valuable I'm worthwhile he has a purpose and plan for my life if you try to build your identity on anything else you'll struggle with insecurity your life you try to build your identity on your job you can lose your job you try to build your identity on how good-looking you are you're going to lose your good good looks [00:17:27]

if you build your identity on anything that can be taken away from you you're going to be insecure and insecurity is at the root of your anger and until you start feeling secure about yourself people going to be able to push your buttons when you know who you are and whose you are people can't push your buttons buttons they can't get to you anger and insecurity go together the more insecure I feel the more angry I feel so I have to base my identity in Jesus otherwise you're going to be able to push my buttons because I'm going to care too much about what you think of me [00:18:16]

the fear of human opinion disables you if you are worried about what other people think you have an emotional disability you are emotionally disabled if you are always worrying about who accepts me and who rejects me who approves and who disapproves the fear of human opinion disables you but trusting in God protects you from that how does God help me manage my anger well Tom already talked about it it he goes to the heart of the matter you see when I get angry my mouth just reveals what's inside my heart [00:18:49]

a harsh tongue reveals an angry heart it just shows what's inside of me a negative tongue reveals a fearful heart it just shows what's inside of me a boasting tongue reveals an insecure heart it's always the heart an overactive tongue reveals an unsettled heart a judgmental tongue reveals a guilty heart the most judgmental people are those who feel guilt the most a critical tongue reveals a bitter heart you see it's always shown what's inside of me and a filthy tongue reveals an impure heart on the other hand an encouraging tongue reveals a happy heart and a gentle tongue reveals a loving heart and a controlled tongue reveals a peaceful heart [00:19:24]

do you know what you need to get rid of your anger problem do you know what you need to do to become immune to the button pushers in your life you need a heart transplant fortunately God Specializes in them they're called it's called salvation God gives you a brand new heart and he gives you a brand new identity and all of a sudden I'm not trying to find my identity in my job or in my bank account or in my good looks or in my talent or in my relationships all which I can lose but I find my identity in what God says about me and then you can't push my buttons anymore because I don't care as deeply as I did about what you think [00:20:38]

live out your God created identity not the identity somebody else tried to give you live out your God created identity live generously and graciously toward others the way God Lives toward you when you are living out your god-given identity you will be generous and you will be gracious to others and no matter matter how much they push your button you're not pushing back because you're living out your god-given identity they don't determine who you are God determines who you who you are [00:22:01]

the three things that cause anger Jesus can heal hurt frustration and fear Jesus can heal your hurting heart with his love Jesus can replace your frustrating heart with his peace Jesus can replace your insecure heart with his power if you pick up a crying baby and you hold that baby close and it feels warm and it feels secure it stops crying it stops being angry and when you feel secure and accepted in Jesus Christ your anger is going to dissipate [00:23:02]

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