Transforming Hearts: Jesus' Teachings on Marriage and Purity
Summary
### Summary
Good morning, everyone. It's wonderful to be back with you after a couple of weekends away. Today, we delve into some challenging yet crucial teachings of Jesus on marriage, divorce, adultery, and lust. These teachings are particularly difficult in our current cultural context, but they are truths we need to hear. We began by discussing the Sermon on the Mount and its relationship to the gospel. Jesus' teachings in these chapters are like the constitution and bylaws of His new kingdom, emphasizing that it's not just about following rules but about the transformation of our hearts and lives.
We then moved on to the topic of marriage and divorce. Using the example of a popular Korean drama, "The Queen of Tears," we explored how common it is to experience disappointment and heartache in marriage. Jesus' teachings on divorce were set against the backdrop of a first-century Jewish debate on the interpretation of Deuteronomy 24:1. Jesus raised the bar on marriage, emphasizing its sanctity and God's original intention for it. While the Bible does permit divorce in certain situations like unfaithfulness, abandonment, and abuse, the focus is always on reconciliation and maintaining the sanctity of marriage.
Next, we discussed adultery and lust. Jesus expanded the concept of adultery to include even looking at someone with lustful intent. This teaching is not about setting up new prohibitions but about protecting the sanctity of marriage and the intentions God has for us. Lust dehumanizes the other person, making them an object for our gratification. Jesus calls us to a higher standard, one that aligns with God's design for love and intimacy within marriage.
Finally, we explored practical ways to combat lust and maintain purity. Being present to our inner life, living in authentic community, and recognizing the progression of lustful thoughts are crucial steps. Jesus' teachings guide us to take drastic measures if necessary to avoid sin and live in alignment with God's intentions for us.
### Key Takeaways
1. Marriage and God's Intentions: Jesus emphasizes the sanctity of marriage by taking us back to God's original intentions in Genesis. Marriage is not just a social contract but a divine covenant meant to reflect God's love and commitment. This perspective helps us understand why Jesus raises the bar on divorce, urging us to strive for reconciliation and not to take the easy way out. [17:45]
2. The Heart of the Matter: The Sermon on the Mount is not just about following rules but about transforming our hearts. Jesus' teachings connect our outward behavior with our inner attitudes, mindsets, and motives. This holistic approach helps us understand that true discipleship involves a deep, internal change that manifests in our actions. [08:14]
3. Lust and Dehumanization: Lust is not just a harmless thought; it dehumanizes the other person, reducing them to an object for our gratification. Jesus' teaching on lust aims to protect the sanctity of marriage and the dignity of individuals. By addressing lust, Jesus calls us to a higher standard of love and respect for others. [26:35]
4. Practical Steps to Combat Lust: Being present to our inner life, living in authentic community, and recognizing the progression of lustful thoughts are crucial steps in maintaining purity. Jesus' call to take drastic measures, like gouging out an eye or cutting off a hand, underscores the seriousness of this issue and the need to address it at its root. [33:05]
5. Hope and Reconciliation: Despite the challenges and brokenness in our relationships, Jesus offers hope for healing and renewal. His teachings remind us that there is always a path back to God, no matter how far we've strayed. This hope encourages us to strive for reconciliation and to maintain soft hearts that are open to God's work in our lives. [36:54]
### YouTube Chapters
[0:00] - Welcome
[01:36] - Introduction to Marriage and Divorce
[03:07] - The Queen of Tears: A Modern Parable
[04:45] - The Need for Jesus' Wisdom in Relationships
[06:24] - Sermon on the Mount and the Gospel
[08:14] - Heart and Behavior in Jesus' Kingdom
[09:50] - GPS Analogy for Jesus' Teachings
[11:09] - Complexities of Marriage and Divorce
[12:49] - Biblical Resources on Divorce
[14:11] - First-Century Jewish Debate on Divorce
[17:45] - Jesus Raises the Bar on Marriage
[19:38] - Pastoral Perspective on Divorce
[21:17] - Practical Advice for Marriages
[23:04] - Hope for Troubled Marriages
[24:48] - Adultery and Lust
[26:35] - Why Lust is Wrong
[28:22] - Achievability of Jesus' Ideal
[30:03] - Practical Ways to Combat Lust
[33:05] - Progression of Lustful Thoughts
[34:48] - Drastic Measures to Avoid Sin
[36:54] - Hope and Reconciliation
[38:52] - Closing Prayer
Study Guide
### Bible Study Discussion Guide
#### Bible Reading
1. Matthew 19:3-9 (ESV)
> "And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, 'Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?' He answered, 'Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh"? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.' They said to him, 'Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?' He said to them, 'Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.'"
2. Genesis 2:24 (ESV)
> "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."
3. Matthew 5:27-30 (ESV)
> "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell."
#### Observation Questions
1. What does Jesus say about the original intention of marriage in Matthew 19:3-9?
2. How does Genesis 2:24 describe the union of marriage?
3. According to Matthew 5:27-30, how does Jesus expand the definition of adultery?
4. What drastic measures does Jesus suggest to avoid sin in Matthew 5:27-30?
#### Interpretation Questions
1. Why does Jesus refer back to Genesis 2:24 when discussing marriage and divorce with the Pharisees? ([17:45])
2. How does Jesus' teaching on lust in Matthew 5:27-30 challenge the cultural norms of His time? ([24:48])
3. What does Jesus mean when He says that looking at someone with lustful intent is equivalent to committing adultery in the heart? ([24:48])
4. How can the concept of "hardness of heart" in Matthew 19:3-9 be understood in the context of divorce and reconciliation? ([17:45])
#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on your own marriage or close relationships. How can you strive to align them more closely with God's original intentions as described in Genesis 2:24? ([17:45])
2. Jesus emphasizes the importance of heart transformation over merely following rules. How can you cultivate a heart that aligns with Jesus' teachings in your daily life? ([08:14])
3. Lust is described as dehumanizing the other person. How can you practice seeing and treating others with the dignity and respect that Jesus calls for? ([26:35])
4. What practical steps can you take to combat lust and maintain purity in your life? Consider being present to your inner life, living in authentic community, and recognizing the progression of lustful thoughts. ([30:03])
5. Jesus calls for drastic measures to avoid sin. What are some "drastic measures" you might need to take in your own life to avoid falling into temptation? ([34:48])
6. Despite the challenges in relationships, Jesus offers hope for healing and renewal. How can you actively seek reconciliation and maintain a soft heart in your relationships? ([36:54])
7. Think about a time when you experienced disappointment or heartache in a relationship. How did you handle it, and what might you do differently now in light of Jesus' teachings? ([04:45])
Devotional
Day 1: The Divine Covenant of Marriage
Marriage is not just a social contract but a divine covenant meant to reflect God's love and commitment. Jesus emphasizes the sanctity of marriage by taking us back to God's original intentions in Genesis. This perspective helps us understand why Jesus raises the bar on divorce, urging us to strive for reconciliation and not to take the easy way out. In a world where marriage is often seen as disposable, Jesus calls us to honor the sacredness of this union and to work towards healing and restoration whenever possible. [17:45]
"Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." (Genesis 2:24, ESV)
Reflection: Think about your own relationships. How can you honor the sanctity of these relationships in a way that reflects God's love and commitment?
Day 2: Heart Transformation Over Rule Following
The Sermon on the Mount is not just about following rules but about transforming our hearts. Jesus' teachings connect our outward behavior with our inner attitudes, mindsets, and motives. This holistic approach helps us understand that true discipleship involves a deep, internal change that manifests in our actions. It's not enough to simply avoid doing wrong; we must cultivate a heart that desires to do right. This transformation is a lifelong journey that requires us to continually seek God's guidance and grace. [08:14]
"And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh." (Ezekiel 36:26, ESV)
Reflection: Reflect on an area of your life where you are merely following rules. How can you invite God to transform your heart in this area?
Day 3: The Dehumanizing Nature of Lust
Lust is not just a harmless thought; it dehumanizes the other person, reducing them to an object for our gratification. Jesus' teaching on lust aims to protect the sanctity of marriage and the dignity of individuals. By addressing lust, Jesus calls us to a higher standard of love and respect for others. This teaching challenges us to see people as God sees them, with inherent worth and dignity, rather than as objects to fulfill our desires. [26:35]
"But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart." (Matthew 5:28, ESV)
Reflection: Consider how you view others in your daily interactions. Are there ways in which you might be dehumanizing them, even unintentionally? How can you begin to see and treat them with the dignity they deserve?
Day 4: Taking Drastic Measures to Combat Lust
Being present to our inner life, living in authentic community, and recognizing the progression of lustful thoughts are crucial steps in maintaining purity. Jesus' call to take drastic measures, like gouging out an eye or cutting off a hand, underscores the seriousness of this issue and the need to address it at its root. This radical approach highlights the importance of being proactive in our spiritual lives, taking whatever steps necessary to avoid sin and live in alignment with God's intentions for us. [33:05]
"If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell." (Matthew 5:29, ESV)
Reflection: Identify a specific area in your life where you struggle with lust or other harmful thoughts. What drastic measures can you take today to address this issue at its root?
Day 5: Hope and Reconciliation in Relationships
Despite the challenges and brokenness in our relationships, Jesus offers hope for healing and renewal. His teachings remind us that there is always a path back to God, no matter how far we've strayed. This hope encourages us to strive for reconciliation and to maintain soft hearts that are open to God's work in our lives. In a world filled with broken relationships, Jesus' message is one of restoration and new beginnings. [36:54]
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." (2 Corinthians 5:17, ESV)
Reflection: Think of a relationship in your life that needs healing. How can you take a step towards reconciliation today, trusting in God's power to bring renewal and restoration?
Quotes
### Quotes for Outreach
1. "If there is one area that we need Jesus's wisdom and God's insight for our lives today, is it not the area of intimate relationships, intimate close relationships? That's what our topic is today." [04:45]
2. "Think of the Sermon on the Mount as something like that. This is the GPS that God has given us, that Jesus is giving us, to live our lives in this kingdom in which he has come. To establish. This GPS is up to date. This navigation system will take us to this life that he promises us. A life full of fullness and joy. But we have to listen to that navigation system. We have to follow it." [11:09]
3. "Jesus raises the bar. And he says, no, he's saying marriage is far more important than you think. He goes back to Genesis 2. Back to God's intentions. And he essentially says, in fact, the way that you are practicing divorce, basically, you're practicing adultery. You're encouraging adultery. You're encouraging and condoning unfaithfulness." [17:45]
4. "Jesus is not demanding perfection in the sense of not making any mistakes. What he's doing is he's setting up a standard for us to live by. And my experience is that as we live in obedience with him, that standard becomes achievable in the sense that we become more and more aligned with what he wants." [30:03]
5. "I want to just end by saying that there is hope. There's hope for every situation. If you've strayed down a wrong path that you know you shouldn't have, there is hope. There's no time better than today to get back on the path and come back to the Lord. Humble yourself and come to him. Receive forgiveness." [36:54]
### Quotes for Members
1. "So, let me begin with a story. And to show you that not all my stories and illustrations come from the world of badminton or hockey or the Canucks. This story is approved and endorsed by my wife, Grace, who happens to be sick today, so she's not here. But I think she's listening online, keeping an eye on me. Grace is a big fan of K-dramas. A couple of chairs out there. Korean dramas. Recently, she's got me watching a movie. I'm watching a movie. I'm watching a movie. I'm watching a one that she's watched already. A Korean drama on Netflix. It's called The Queen of Tears." [01:36]
2. "So, I want to look at that first. Second, we're going to look at the question of divorce and marriage. That second half of our text, which Claire read to us today. And thirdly, I'll save the best for last. We'll talk about adultery and lust. Okay, the question of adultery and lust. So, let's move into that first section. Relationship between the Sermon on the Mount and the gospel. Let's do a little bit of review." [06:24]
3. "I think the lesson that Jesus wants us to learn is to not simply give in to the attitude of lowering the bar for our marriage, for marriages, and for divorce. Jesus, what he wants us to do is to go back and remember what our intentions originally are, what God's intentions for marriage originally are. To remember what our intentions in marriage, the best intentions of them are, what our partner's best intentions for our marriage originally are. Even in our worst moments, to continue to remember those things." [21:17]
4. "So by connecting lust and adultery together, what Jesus wants to do is actually protect us. Protect us from that kind of attitude. The best place for physical intimacy is actually this protected bond that we have together in marriage. Because real love and true love is not just about feelings, not just about desires and passions, but it's also about that sacrifice. It's also about that commitment. It's also about those promises that we make to each other in marriage." [28:22]
5. "I used to think that our story was kind of like a Romeo and Juliet story and this is not the time or place to tell all the details of our story, but more and more I'm realizing that our marriage is more like a Korean drama. If I could go back in time, mature, experienced, past middle-aged person sit down and talk with young idealistic naive me, what would I say? I would say it's here in the area of intimate relationships that God most wants to work in our lives because that is where we are most true and honest with ourselves and this is the place where the enemy can also do the most harm in our lives as well as in our churches." [34:48]
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