Transforming Hearts: Jesus on Lust, Marriage, and Grace

Devotional

Day 1: Lust Is a Heart Issue, Not Just an Action

Jesus teaches that lust is not merely about outward actions but is rooted in the intentions and desires of the heart. He challenges the common belief that only physical acts are sinful, revealing that even looking at someone with lustful intent is equivalent to committing adultery in the heart. This radical teaching exposes the depth of our brokenness and calls us to see others as image bearers of God, not as objects for our own gratification. Jesus urges us to take extreme measures to guard our hearts, emphasizing that the path of unchecked lust leads to destruction, and that true transformation requires addressing the heart, soul, mind, and strength. [07:40]

Matthew 5:27-30 (ESV)
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.”

Reflection: What is one practical, even “extreme,” step you can take today to guard your heart and mind from lustful thoughts or temptations?

Day 2: Freedom and Identity in Christ

No matter your past or present struggles with sexual sin, your identity is not defined by your failures but by the freedom Christ has purchased for you. The gospel declares that those who are in Christ are washed, sanctified, and justified, and that there is no condemnation for those who belong to Him. The enemy whispers lies of shame and unworthiness, but God’s conviction is an invitation to repentance and restoration. You are not unwanted; you are bought with a price, and God desires you deeply, offering you the power to walk in newness of life and freedom from the chains of sin. [17:06]

1 Corinthians 6:9-11, 18-20 (ESV)
“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God... Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”

Reflection: Where do you most need to reject condemnation and instead embrace your identity as one who is wanted, washed, and set free by Jesus?

Day 3: Marriage Is a Covenant That Reflects God’s Love

Marriage is not simply a contract for personal fulfillment, but a sacred covenant designed to display God’s faithful, covenant love for His people. The union of husband and wife is meant to be a living picture of Christ’s love for the church—self-sacrificing, steadfast, and unconditional. When we treat marriage as a contract, we reduce it to a transactional relationship, but God’s intent is that marriage would be a “no matter what” promise, mirroring His unwavering commitment to us. This high calling challenges both husbands and wives to love, respect, and honor one another in ways that point the world to the gospel. [27:24]

Ephesians 5:25-28, 33 (ESV)
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself... However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

Reflection: In what specific way can you love or honor your spouse (or, if single, another close relationship) today that would reflect God’s covenant love?

Day 4: God’s Grace Redeems Even the Most Broken Stories

No matter how deep the wounds of sexual brokenness, divorce, or failure, God’s grace is greater and His redemption is real. Throughout Scripture, God meets people in their mess—like the woman at the well, the woman caught in adultery, and even King David after adultery and murder—and offers forgiveness, restoration, and a new future. God does not avoid our most shameful places; He enters them, offers grace, and brings beauty from ashes. If God can redeem David’s story and use it for His glory, He can redeem yours, no matter how broken it may seem. [52:30]

John 8:10-11 (ESV)
“Jesus stood up and said to her, ‘Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?’ She said, ‘No one, Lord.’ And Jesus said, ‘Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.’”

Reflection: What is one area of your past or present brokenness that you need to bring honestly to Jesus today, trusting Him to meet you with grace and restoration?

Day 5: Radical Repentance and Reconciliation Bring Healing

Healing in our lives and relationships begins with honest confession, repentance, and a willingness to seek reconciliation where possible. Whether you are struggling with lust, facing marital challenges, or dealing with the aftermath of divorce, God calls you to reveal your need, seek help, and pursue peace. Sometimes this means making a difficult phone call, joining a group for support, or praying bold prayers for deliverance and restoration. The same power that raised Jesus from the dead is available to breathe new life into your heart and your relationships when you humbly come to the altar and invite God to work. [55:17]

James 5:16 (ESV)
“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”

Reflection: Is there someone you need to confess to, seek forgiveness from, or ask for help today so that God’s healing can begin in your life or relationships?

Sermon Summary

Today’s teaching explored some of the most challenging words of Jesus from the Sermon on the Mount, focusing on lust, divorce, and the nature of oaths and covenants. These are not just rules for outward behavior, but deep matters of the heart that reveal our need for God’s grace and transformation. Jesus raises the standard far beyond what the Pharisees taught, showing that sin is not just about external actions, but about the internal posture of our hearts—what we desire, what we fantasize about, and how we treat others as image-bearers of God.

Lust, Jesus says, is not just about physical acts, but about the way we look at and think about others. It’s about commodifying people for our own pleasure, whether through images, fantasies, or even the subtle ways we escape reality. Jesus’ call to “gouge out your eye” or “cut off your hand” is not a literal command, but a call to take radical, even extreme, measures to guard our hearts and lives from the destructive path of lust. This is not just about sin management, but about a whole-life war—heart, soul, mind, and strength—against anything that would pull us away from God’s design for sexuality and relationships.

When it comes to divorce, Jesus’ words are equally weighty. He points us back to God’s original intent for marriage: a covenant, not a contract, that reflects God’s unbreakable love for His people. While there are biblical concessions for divorce—adultery, abandonment, and abuse—these are not commands, but allowances in a broken world. The call is always first to reconciliation, forgiveness, and healing, trusting that if the tomb is empty, anything is possible—even the restoration of what seems dead.

For those who are single, divorced, or remarried, the invitation is the same: to bring every part of our story, even the most broken or shameful, to Jesus. He meets us in our mess, not with condemnation, but with grace, forgiveness, and a call to new life. Our identity is not defined by our past or our failures, but by the love and redemption of Christ. In every circumstance—married, single, divorced, or remarried—God’s desire is that we would walk in freedom, healing, and the fullness of His covenant love.

Key Takeaways

1. Lust is a Heart Issue, Not Just an Action Jesus teaches that lust is not limited to physical acts, but begins in the heart when we view others as objects for our own pleasure. This challenges us to examine not just our behavior, but our desires, fantasies, and the ways we escape reality. True purity requires radical honesty and a willingness to take extreme measures to guard our hearts, knowing that every path has a destination and unchecked lust leads to destruction. [06:09]
2. Radical Measures Are Needed for Real Change Managing sin through accountability and software is important, but not enough. Jesus calls for a whole-life approach—heart, soul, mind, and strength—declaring war on lust and anything that keeps us from God’s best. This means addressing our wounds, our thought life, our environment, and even our spiritual battles, recognizing that some struggles are deeply rooted and require both practical and spiritual intervention. [13:23]
3. Marriage is a Covenant, Not a Contract God’s design for marriage is to reflect His covenant love for us—a love that is faithful, sacrificial, and enduring. When marriage is treated as a contract based on performance, love cannot flourish. Instead, marriage is meant to be a living picture of the gospel, where forgiveness, grace, and commitment are displayed, even in the face of failure and pain. [26:22]
4. Divorce: Biblical Concessions and the Call to Reconciliation While Scripture allows for divorce in cases of adultery, abandonment, and abuse, these are concessions, not commands. The heart of God is always for reconciliation and healing, and divorce should be a last resort, not a first response. Even in the aftermath of divorce, God’s grace is sufficient, and there is no condemnation for those in Christ—He can redeem any story, no matter how broken. [35:01]
5. Grace Meets Us in Our Brokenness Throughout Scripture, God meets people in the midst of sexual brokenness, failed marriages, and shattered covenants—not with condemnation, but with forgiveness and restoration. Whether it’s the woman at the well, the woman caught in adultery, or King David, God’s grace is greater than our sin. Our past does not define us; the cross and resurrection of Jesus do. Healing begins when we bring our deepest wounds and failures to Him, trusting that He can make all things new. [49:02]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[00:33] - Honoring Mothers and Single Moms
[03:06] - Introduction to Tough Topics: Lust, Divorce, Oaths
[04:13] - Conviction vs. Condemnation
[05:28] - Jesus Raises the Standard: Heart Matters
[06:09] - Understanding Lustful Intent
[09:09] - Radical Measures Against Lust
[13:23] - Whole-Life War: Heart, Soul, Mind, Strength
[16:16] - Paul’s Teaching on Sexual Sin and Identity
[18:28] - Our Bodies as Temples: The Call to Flee
[22:19] - Jesus’ Words on Divorce
[25:42] - The Purpose of Marriage
[29:09] - Exception Clauses: When is Divorce Permitted?
[35:01] - Adultery, Abandonment, and Abuse
[44:00] - No Condemnation and God’s Unbreakable Covenant
[49:02] - Grace in Sexual Brokenness: Stories of Redemption
[53:27] - Responding: Prayer, Repentance, and Worship
[56:05] - Closing Prayer and Invitation to Respond

Bible Study Guide

Observation Questions

In Matthew 5:27-28, what does Jesus say is the true root of adultery? How does He expand the definition beyond just physical actions?
According to the sermon, what does it mean to “gouge out your eye” or “cut off your hand” in the context of lust? Is Jesus being literal or is there a deeper meaning? [[09:09]]
In 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, what reason does Paul give for fleeing sexual immorality? What does he say about our bodies?
When the Pharisees ask Jesus about divorce in Matthew 19, how does He respond regarding God’s original design for marriage?

Interpretation Questions

Why does Jesus focus so much on the heart and not just outward actions when talking about lust and adultery? What does this reveal about the seriousness of sin? [[06:09]]
The sermon says that “marriage is a covenant, not a contract.” What is the difference between a covenant and a contract, and why does this matter for how we view marriage? [[26:22]]
The pastor mentioned that biblical concessions for divorce (adultery, abandonment, abuse) are not commands but allowances. Why do you think God allows for these exceptions, and what does this say about His heart? [[35:01]]
How does the story of the woman at the well or the woman caught in adultery show us the way Jesus responds to sexual brokenness and failure? [[49:02]]

Application Questions

Jesus says that lust begins in the heart, not just in actions. Are there ways you have justified “harmless” thoughts or fantasies in your own life? What would it look like to take radical steps to guard your heart this week? [[06:09]]
The sermon challenges us to declare “whole-life war” on lust—heart, soul, mind, and strength. Which area (heart, soul, mind, or strength) do you find most challenging to surrender to God in this battle? What is one practical step you could take? [[13:23]]
If you are married, does your marriage reflect a covenant love or more of a contract mindset? What is one way you could show sacrificial, covenant love to your spouse this week? [[26:22]]
For those who are single, divorced, or remarried: How do you tend to view your identity—through the lens of your relationship status or through Christ’s love and redemption? What would it look like to bring your whole story, even the broken parts, to Jesus? [[44:00]]
The sermon says that God’s grace meets us in our brokenness, not with condemnation but with forgiveness and restoration. Is there a part of your story—past or present—that you need to bring into the light and trust God for healing? What is holding you back? [[49:02]]
If you are struggling in your marriage or with sexual sin, who is someone you could reach out to for help, prayer, or accountability this week? What is one step you can take to invite others into your healing process? [[55:43]]
The pastor said, “If the tomb is empty, anything is possible—even the restoration of what seems dead.” Is there a relationship or area of your life that feels hopeless? How can you pray for resurrection power in that area this week? [[37:01]]

Sermon Clips

Jesus says if your right eye causes you to sin tear it out throw it away for it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell, and if your right hand causes you to sin then cut it off and throw it away for it is better that you lose one of your members than your whole body go to hell. [00:09:09]

Lustful intent is when you commodify a person for your own pleasure, that instead of seeing someone as an image bearer of God you look at someone as a commodity for your own pleasure to be used by you for you. [00:06:40]

You see the majority of pornography is really violence against women and using women as a commodity to be used up for your own pleasure. Listen Daughters of the most high King are not a piece of meat on a menu for you to peruse. [00:07:26]

But when we do that it is lustful intent and what Jesus is saying is you've got a deep problem down here in your heart, and women for you, although pornography use in women is growing maybe more than any other group of people. [00:07:50]

And Jesus is saying listen when you do that, when you do those things, when you go down those roads, you see what begins to happen is you feel Justified because you think I have a touch of person it's just pictures or I haven't had an affair. [00:08:23]

But in your heart you have been, you've begun to go down a road that already leads to destruction, so everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery in his heart. [00:08:43]

You think it's just a look, you think it's just a picture, you think it's just a fantasy. I'm saying it leads to hell, it leads to Shield, it leads to utter destruction. [00:10:07]

Linear lust management and decision making, though very important, is not enough. It's not enough. Yes you should have Covenant eyes on your laptop and all of your devices and yes you should have accountability partners and yes you could confess your sin and yes you should flee sexual immorality. [00:12:09]

We should love the Lord Our God with all of who we are, our heart, our soul, our mind and our strength and I think we have to declare war against lust with heart, soul, mind and strength, and I mean this you have to pay attention to your heart. [00:13:24]

You pay attention to your thought life, like what are the thoughts and feelings that lead you to be most vulnerable to the sin of lust: futility, disassociation, anger, disappointment, and in addition to that we have to handle it at the physical strength level. [00:14:43]

In the book of First Corinthians chapter six, Paul has some extreme language. He's going to say when it comes to sexual sin, when it comes to lust, it's not just to be managed, it's to be killed. [00:16:11]

Your past sin, even sexual sin, and your current struggle, even sexual struggle, doesn't get to Define you. As your pastor I want you to be able to walk in the freedom that Christ purchased for you when it comes to lust and sexual sin. [00:17:11]

But the purpose of marriage is to glorify God by putting on display a picture of God's covenant love for us. That is the purpose of marriage, not so that you get what you want, not so that you're fulfilled, that is not what it is. [00:26:33]

If the primary purpose for marriage is to put on display the glory of God, to put on display the gospel by showing evidence of God's covenant love towards his people, then when that thing has fractured God hates it, and he also hates all of the collateral damage to his children that come along with divorce. [00:41:21]

And in particular to lust and divorce and Covenants and there there's picture after picture after picture of redemption in sexual Brokenness in the scriptures. In John chapter 4 Jesus goes to Samaria, there's this woman she comes to the well, they have this conversation about where you find Living Water. [00:48:10]

And Jesus says go get your husband, and she's like well I don't have a husband, he's like I know you had five and the guy that you are living with now he ain't even your husband. Okay, so let's just say she's all messed up in this area correct, and you know what Jesus does? [00:48:36]

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