Transforming Habits Through God's Unconditional Love

Summary

### Summary

Today's message focused on the importance of habits in shaping our lives, whether in the valleys of suffering or on the mountaintops of joy. The key point is that while both valleys and mountaintops are temporary, the unconditional love of God is permanent. This love meets us in every situation, providing treasures on the mountaintop and lessons in the valley. One of the blessings of suffering is that it equips us to help others who go through similar experiences.

We then engaged in a survey to identify the areas of life that frustrate us the most: finances, marriage, professional life, and health. The results of this survey guided the discussion, emphasizing that our frustrations are often the result of our habits. Whether it's financial struggles, relationship issues, or health concerns, the root cause is usually found in our daily habits.

In marriage, for example, the lack of fun, dating, and acts of kindness can lead to frustration. Similarly, financial frustrations often stem from poor spending habits, lack of budgeting, and impulsive purchases. Health issues can be traced back to inconsistent exercise and poor dietary choices. Professionally, frustrations may arise from a lack of dependability, punctuality, and continuous learning.

The message also delved into the psychological aspects of behavior, explaining how our brain's limbic system and prefrontal cortex interact. The limbic system, which seeks comfort, often overpowers the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for judgment and impulse control. This leads to behaviors that provide immediate comfort but result in long-term shame and guilt.

God's solution to this problem is to transform us by changing the way we think, as stated in Romans 12:2. This involves replacing negative habits with positive ones, creating new neural pathways that lead to healthier behaviors. The goal is not perfection but consistency in making better choices.

### Key Takeaways

1. The Permanence of God's Love: While both valleys and mountaintops are temporary, God's unconditional love is permanent. This love meets us in every situation, providing treasures on the mountaintop and lessons in the valley. Our suffering equips us to help others who go through similar experiences. [00:00]

2. Habits Shape Our Lives: Our frustrations in areas like finances, marriage, health, and professional life are often the result of our habits. Whether it's poor spending habits, lack of dating in relationships, or inconsistent exercise, the root cause is usually found in our daily routines. [10:30]

3. Psychological Insights on Behavior: The limbic system in our brain seeks comfort and often overpowers the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for judgment and impulse control. This leads to behaviors that provide immediate comfort but result in long-term shame and guilt. Understanding this can help us make better choices. [25:46]

4. Transforming Our Minds: According to Romans 12:2, God transforms us by changing the way we think. This involves replacing negative habits with positive ones, creating new neural pathways that lead to healthier behaviors. The goal is not perfection but consistency in making better choices. [31:50]

5. Practical Steps for Change: To improve any area of our lives, we need to identify what we need to stop and what we need to start. This involves creating new, consistent habits that align with our goals. It's not about being perfect but about being consistent in our efforts. [37:33]

### YouTube Chapters

1. [0:00] - Welcome
2. [01:17] - Introduction and Survey
3. [03:51] - Frustrations in Life
4. [05:41] - Marriage and Relationships
5. [10:30] - Importance of Habits
6. [14:54] - Financial Habits
7. [18:09] - Health Habits
8. [20:15] - Biblical Perspective
9. [21:23] - Professional Life
10. [25:46] - Psychological Insights
11. [31:50] - Transforming Our Minds
12. [37:33] - Practical Steps for Change
13. [39:31] - Closing Prayer

Study Guide

### Bible Study Discussion Guide

#### Bible Reading
1. Romans 12:2 (NIV) - "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."
2. Galatians 6:7 (NIV) - "Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows."

#### Observation Questions
1. According to Romans 12:2, what is the process by which God transforms us? How does this relate to changing our habits? [31:50]
2. In Galatians 6:7, what principle does Paul emphasize about our actions and their consequences? How does this principle apply to the areas of life discussed in the sermon (finances, marriage, health, professional life)? [20:15]
3. The sermon mentioned the interaction between the limbic system and the prefrontal cortex in our brains. What roles do these parts of the brain play in our decision-making processes? [27:45]

#### Interpretation Questions
1. How does the concept of "renewing your mind" in Romans 12:2 help us understand the importance of changing our habits? What might this look like in practical terms? [31:50]
2. Galatians 6:7 speaks about reaping what we sow. How can this principle be applied to the frustrations we experience in different areas of our lives, such as finances or relationships? [20:15]
3. The sermon discussed how our brain's limbic system can overpower the prefrontal cortex, leading to poor decisions. How can understanding this help us in making better choices and forming healthier habits? [27:45]

#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a specific area of your life where you experience frustration (finances, marriage, health, professional life). What habits might be contributing to this frustration, and what new habits could you start to address it? [10:30]
2. Romans 12:2 talks about the transformation that comes from renewing our minds. What is one negative thought pattern you need to change, and what positive thought can you replace it with? [31:50]
3. Galatians 6:7 emphasizes that we reap what we sow. Identify one habit you need to stop and one habit you need to start to align with the outcomes you desire in your life. [20:15]
4. The sermon mentioned the importance of consistency over perfection. What is one small, consistent change you can make in your daily routine to improve an area of your life? [37:33]
5. In your relationships, how can you incorporate more acts of kindness and appreciation? Think of one specific action you can take this week to show kindness to your spouse or a close friend. [10:30]
6. Professionally, what steps can you take to become more dependable and punctual? How can you continue to learn and grow in your field to improve your work performance? [21:23]
7. Reflect on the psychological insights shared in the sermon about the limbic system and prefrontal cortex. How can you apply this understanding to resist immediate comforts that lead to long-term shame and guilt? [27:45]

This guide is designed to help your small group delve deeper into the sermon’s key points and apply them practically in their lives. Encourage open and honest discussion, and support each other in making positive changes.

Devotional

Day 1: The Unchanging Love of God
Description: In life, we experience both valleys of suffering and mountaintops of joy. These moments are temporary, but God's unconditional love is permanent. This love meets us in every situation, providing treasures on the mountaintop and lessons in the valley. One of the blessings of suffering is that it equips us to help others who go through similar experiences. Understanding that God's love is constant can provide comfort and strength in all circumstances. [00:00]

Romans 8:38-39 (ESV): "For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Reflection: Think of a recent valley or mountaintop experience in your life. How did you see God's love present in that situation? How can you use what you learned to help someone else going through a similar experience?

Day 2: The Power of Habits
Description: Our daily habits significantly shape our lives and can be the root cause of our frustrations in areas like finances, marriage, health, and professional life. For example, financial struggles often stem from poor spending habits, lack of budgeting, and impulsive purchases. In relationships, a lack of fun, dating, and acts of kindness can lead to frustration. Health issues can be traced back to inconsistent exercise and poor dietary choices. Professionally, frustrations may arise from a lack of dependability, punctuality, and continuous learning. By identifying and changing these habits, we can improve these areas of our lives. [10:30]

Proverbs 4:23 (ESV): "Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life."

Reflection: Identify one habit in your life that is causing frustration. What specific steps can you take today to begin changing this habit?

Day 3: Understanding Our Behavior
Description: The limbic system in our brain seeks comfort and often overpowers the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for judgment and impulse control. This leads to behaviors that provide immediate comfort but result in long-term shame and guilt. Understanding this interaction can help us make better choices by recognizing when we are seeking immediate comfort at the expense of long-term well-being. By being aware of this, we can start to make more conscious decisions that align with our long-term goals and values. [25:46]

Galatians 5:16-17 (ESV): "But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do."

Reflection: Think of a recent decision where you chose immediate comfort over long-term well-being. How can you prepare yourself to make a better choice next time?

Day 4: Renewing Our Minds
Description: According to Romans 12:2, God transforms us by changing the way we think. This involves replacing negative habits with positive ones, creating new neural pathways that lead to healthier behaviors. The goal is not perfection but consistency in making better choices. By renewing our minds, we align our thoughts and actions with God's will, leading to a more fulfilling and purposeful life. This transformation is a continuous process that requires dedication and reliance on God's strength. [31:50]

Ephesians 4:22-24 (ESV): "To put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness."

Reflection: What is one negative habit you need to replace with a positive one? How can you start this transformation today with God's help?

Day 5: Practical Steps for Change
Description: To improve any area of our lives, we need to identify what we need to stop and what we need to start. This involves creating new, consistent habits that align with our goals. It's not about being perfect but about being consistent in our efforts. By taking practical steps and making small, incremental changes, we can achieve significant improvements over time. This approach helps us to stay focused and motivated, knowing that each small step brings us closer to our desired outcome. [37:33]

James 1:22-25 (ESV): "But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing."

Reflection: Identify one area of your life where you need to make a change. What is one practical step you can take today to start this change? How will you ensure consistency in this new habit?

Quotes

### Quotes for Outreach

1. "The valley is not permanent and here's the good thing about that one the valley's not permanent the mountaintop is not permanent so enjoy it when you're on the mountaintop the valley's not permanent well let me tell you what is permanent the overwhelming never-ending unconditional love of God because it is he will meet you in each place and there's treasure on the mountaintop and there are lessons in the valley." [00:00] (30 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

2. "Faith. I want a better, I want a better marriage. Faith without is what? It's also immature. God, I'm just a believer. What you going to do? How about going to do something, an act of kindness? How about doing something, saying something nice?" [12:00] (20 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

3. "Be grateful that the results are telling the truth about your habits. Now, let me go deeper with this. I'm going to show you one more thing. Let me see if I can do what he did. Use my finger. Boom. He ain't got to show me, but once. I'll tell you that. I'll tell you that now, bro. Your services are no longer needed." [24:16] (30 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

4. "God says, I'm going to fix this problem and I'm not even going to start with behavior. My first option is let me first change the way you think. What I'm trying to work on is your thinking, not your feelings. I don't start with your feelings because your feelings are just reactive feelings are are feelings are natural reactions to circumstances." [31:50] (21 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

5. "You have to re-empower yourself to make changes over time that consistently will move you. Watch this. Your habits must be aligned with where you're trying to go to. The habits gotta be married to it. I can't do it. I cannot have habits that are misaligned to where I'm trying to go and then be frustrated. That's confusion." [20:53] (22 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

### Quotes for Members

1. "Whatever you are frustrated about in your marriage is the result of the habits, your habits. You will always end up where your habits take you. But you say, it's my spouse's fault. I'm saying, what did you, what can you contribute? Are you nice to each other? Acts of kindness. When you go out and get something to eat and you're taking care of yourself, do you ever think maybe I should get them something too, right?" [10:30] (30 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

2. "You cannot have poverty habits and expect a wealth result. That's, that's, that's crazy. You just want something that says, God, drop it on me, Jesus. Ain't no need to drop nothing on you because you're going, you're going to go to the mall and save on it. I saved 40% on what you dropped on me. Let's go to the mall and save on me." [14:54] (22 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

3. "You can't fake excellence. Being unprepared will be exposed. That's so good. You can't show up unprepared and not be exposed. Are you a person who's prepared, who continue to learn and continue to be educated about what you're getting paid to do? You want more money, but have never gotten better at what you do. You just want more money because you've done it a long time. Well, if you've been average a long time, shouldn't we pay you average?" [23:41] (33 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

4. "The problem is the limbic system overpowers the prefrontal cortex when we are deciding when we're hurt what we're going to do to comfort ourselves. And once something gets in the limbic system of your brain, even if it's wrong, the limbic system doesn't believe the behavior is wrong because the behavior was meant to comfort a negative feeling. The limbic system of your brain believes it is necessary." [29:10] (25 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

5. "You have to replace stuff. So I stopped doing this. I stopped doing this behavior and replace it with this behavior. Now I create a new neural pathway, and this is now neural pathway. And this now is one of the options that comes up. You can do this. And you can get similar comfort without the shame and the guilt. Are y'all listening to me? And then you can begin to diminish the old way of doing it over time." [37:33] (25 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

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Transcript

What was the most surprising thing in this sermon?

Were there any personal stories shared?