Transforming Disagreements into Opportunities for Growth
Summary
### Summary
Today, we explored how God transforms a broken and fragmented world into a beautiful community, and how He does the same with our personal lives through the power of the Holy Spirit. Specifically, we delved into how His wisdom and guidance can lead us through times of disagreement. Disagreements are a part of life, whether in marriage, family, or friendships, and they can often escalate if not handled properly. We discussed the importance of bringing our disagreements before the Lord, just as we bring our convictions, allowing Him to alter them.
We examined the process of altering our disagreements by seeking understanding, acknowledging emotions, focusing on words that connect, and employing equitable solutions. Seeking understanding involves truly listening to the other person's perspective and recognizing that disagreements often stem from deeply held convictions. Acknowledging emotions is crucial because emotions like fear, anger, and frustration can cause disagreements to explode. By recognizing and validating these emotions, we can create a safer space for dialogue.
Focusing on words that connect means being mindful of our language and tone, avoiding inflammatory words, and instead using language that fosters connection and understanding. Finally, employing equitable solutions involves finding common ground and working towards solutions that respect and honor both parties. We looked at biblical examples, such as the early church's handling of disagreements in Acts 15, to illustrate how this process can lead to peace and mutual respect.
In conclusion, by following these steps, we can transform our disagreements into opportunities for growth and deeper connection, reflecting the love and grace of Jesus in all our interactions.
### Key Takeaways
1. Seek Understanding: The first step in altering disagreements is to seek understanding. This involves truly listening to the other person's perspective and recognizing that disagreements often stem from deeply held convictions. By understanding where the other person is coming from, we can empathize and find common ground. Proverbs 18:15 emphasizes the importance of acquiring knowledge and seeking understanding. [29:18]
2. Acknowledge Emotions: Emotions like fear, anger, and frustration can cause disagreements to escalate. By acknowledging and validating these emotions, both in ourselves and in others, we create a safer space for dialogue. Hebrews 4:15 reminds us that Jesus empathizes with our weaknesses, setting an example for us to follow in our interactions. [36:16]
3. Focus on Words that Connect: The words we use and the tone we employ are crucial in fostering connection and understanding. Proverbs 15:1 teaches that a soft answer turns away wrath, while harsh words stir up anger. By choosing our words carefully, we can avoid inflaming the situation and instead build bridges of understanding. [42:23]
4. Employ Equitable Solutions: Finding common ground and working towards solutions that respect and honor both parties is essential. The early church's handling of disagreements in Acts 15 serves as a powerful example of how to navigate conflicts with grace and wisdom. By seeking equitable solutions, we can maintain unity and peace. [48:40]
5. Transforming Disagreements into Opportunities: By following these steps, we can transform our disagreements into opportunities for growth and deeper connection. This process not only helps us to reflect the love and grace of Jesus in our interactions but also has the potential to impact our communities and the world positively. [47:19]
### YouTube Chapters
[0:00] - Welcome
[21:16] - Introduction to the Series
[21:39] - Disagreements in Life
[22:05] - Personal Stories of Disagreement
[23:31] - Altering Our Disagreements
[24:59] - Essential Truths and Core Values
[27:05] - Mapping Our Convictions
[28:27] - Seeking Understanding
[29:18] - Proverbs on Understanding
[31:39] - Bonus Points for Understanding
[33:08] - Practical Exercises for Understanding
[34:48] - Acknowledging Emotions
[36:16] - Empathy and Emotions
[39:21] - Biblical Examples of Empathy
[42:23] - Focusing on Words that Connect
[44:09] - Language and Tone
[45:42] - Connecting Through Language
[47:19] - The Impact of Altering Disagreements
[48:40] - Employing Equitable Solutions
[50:27] - Biblical Examples of Equitable Solutions
[52:15] - Paul and Barnabas' Disagreement
[54:16] - Reconciliation and Partnership
[56:10] - Practical Steps for Equitable Solutions
[57:55] - Agreeing to Disagree
[59:36] - Encouragement for Non-Believers
[01:00:27] - Focusing on Truth and Love
[01:01:20] - Prayer and Conclusion
[01:07:25] - Announcements and Invitations
Study Guide
### Bible Reading
1. Proverbs 18:15: "An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge."
2. Hebrews 4:15: "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin."
3. Acts 15:19-21: "Therefore, my judgment is that we should not trouble those of the Gentiles who turn to God, but should write to them to abstain from things polluted by idols, and from sexual immorality, and from what has been strangled, and from blood."
### Observation Questions
1. What does Proverbs 18:15 say about the importance of seeking knowledge and understanding?
2. According to Hebrews 4:15, how does Jesus empathize with our weaknesses?
3. In Acts 15:19-21, what decision did the early church make regarding the Gentiles who turned to God? [48:40]
4. What personal story did the pastor share about a disagreement over window treatments? [22:05]
### Interpretation Questions
1. How does seeking understanding, as mentioned in Proverbs 18:15, help in resolving disagreements? [29:18]
2. Why is it important to acknowledge emotions during disagreements, according to the sermon and Hebrews 4:15? [36:16]
3. How did the early church's decision in Acts 15:19-21 serve as an example of employing equitable solutions in disagreements? [48:40]
4. What role does language and tone play in fostering connection during disagreements, as discussed in the sermon? [42:23]
### Application Questions
1. Think of a recent disagreement you had. How could seeking understanding have changed the outcome? [29:18]
2. Reflect on a time when emotions escalated a disagreement. How can you better acknowledge and validate emotions in future conflicts? [36:16]
3. What are some practical ways you can focus on using words that connect rather than divide in your daily interactions? [42:23]
4. How can you apply the early church's approach to finding equitable solutions in your own disagreements? [48:40]
5. Identify a disagreement you are currently facing. What steps can you take to transform it into an opportunity for growth and deeper connection? [47:19]
6. How can you ensure that your personal convictions are brought before the Lord and possibly altered, as suggested in the sermon? [24:09]
7. What specific actions can you take this week to reflect the love and grace of Jesus in your interactions, especially during disagreements? [59:36]
Devotional
Day 1: Seek Understanding
Understanding others' perspectives is the first step in resolving disagreements. This involves truly listening and recognizing that disagreements often stem from deeply held convictions. By seeking to understand where the other person is coming from, we can empathize and find common ground. Proverbs 18:15 emphasizes the importance of acquiring knowledge and seeking understanding. When we approach disagreements with a heart to understand rather than to win, we open the door to meaningful dialogue and connection. [29:18]
Proverbs 18:15 (ESV): "An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge."
Reflection: Think of a recent disagreement you had. How can you seek to understand the other person's perspective better today?
Day 2: Acknowledge Emotions
Emotions like fear, anger, and frustration can cause disagreements to escalate. By acknowledging and validating these emotions, both in ourselves and in others, we create a safer space for dialogue. Hebrews 4:15 reminds us that Jesus empathizes with our weaknesses, setting an example for us to follow in our interactions. Recognizing and validating emotions helps to diffuse tension and fosters a more compassionate and understanding environment. [36:16]
Hebrews 4:15 (ESV): "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin."
Reflection: Reflect on a time when your emotions escalated a disagreement. How can you acknowledge and validate emotions in future conflicts?
Day 3: Focus on Words that Connect
The words we use and the tone we employ are crucial in fostering connection and understanding. Proverbs 15:1 teaches that a soft answer turns away wrath, while harsh words stir up anger. By choosing our words carefully, we can avoid inflaming the situation and instead build bridges of understanding. Being mindful of our language and tone can transform our interactions and help us connect more deeply with others. [42:23]
Proverbs 15:1 (ESV): "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."
Reflection: Think about your recent conversations. How can you be more mindful of your words and tone to foster better connections?
Day 4: Employ Equitable Solutions
Finding common ground and working towards solutions that respect and honor both parties is essential. The early church's handling of disagreements in Acts 15 serves as a powerful example of how to navigate conflicts with grace and wisdom. By seeking equitable solutions, we can maintain unity and peace. This involves being fair and considerate, ensuring that both parties feel heard and valued in the resolution process. [48:40]
Acts 15:28-29 (ESV): "For it has seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us to lay on you no greater burden than these requirements: that you abstain from what has been sacrificed to idols, and from blood, and from what has been strangled, and from sexual immorality. If you keep yourselves from these, you will do well. Farewell."
Reflection: Consider a conflict you are currently facing. What steps can you take to find an equitable solution that honors both parties?
Day 5: Transforming Disagreements into Opportunities
By following these steps, we can transform our disagreements into opportunities for growth and deeper connection. This process not only helps us to reflect the love and grace of Jesus in our interactions but also has the potential to impact our communities and the world positively. When we approach conflicts with a heart for reconciliation and growth, we can turn challenges into opportunities for strengthening relationships and fostering unity. [47:19]
James 1:19-20 (ESV): "Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God."
Reflection: Think of a disagreement that could be transformed into an opportunity for growth. How can you approach it with a heart for reconciliation and deeper connection?
Quotes
### Quotes for Outreach
1. "We say And we sing That He's Lord of all Right? There's nothing that Jesus is not Lord of So Why don't we just Think in our disagreements Let's honor Jesus Let's please Him Let's follow Him When we have When I have personal convictions And you have personal convictions That disagree Let's alter them Bring them before the Lord And maybe They will be changed." [24:09] (31 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
2. "If you're listening to this, you're here, you're online, you're wondering about this, but you're not a Jesus follower. But maybe some of this has made sense to you. I encourage you. I encourage you to, and you're in a disagreement, I encourage you to be praying for that. Pray that the, the Lord, that God, say, hey God, help me do this. I hate blowing up in conversations. I want conversations about things to be meaningful. Help me do that. And I think God will help you." [59:36] (28 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
3. "I encourage you to continue to check out Jesus. Continue to check out what he, how he acts, what he does, what he says, because I truly believe he leads us to life. And it may be very different than the ways of the world, or even different than some of our own natural predispositions, but it leads to life. So I encourage you to check that out and check out Jesus even, even more, even in areas beyond just disagreements." [01:00:27] (29 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
4. "What if we really did this? What if everyone who claims the name of Jesus really lived through this process? In terms of seeking, understanding, acknowledging emotions, focusing on language that connects. What if we really did this? I think that would have a huge impact on our communities and our cities. Now, some of the social media platforms might lose money, but that's too bad. But it would have real impact." [47:19] (35 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
### Quotes for Members
1. "So when two people When those two people The one that does own a gun The one that doesn't When they get together If they stop And they alter Their disagreement Then they look at How their convictions came from They understand one another Maybe even They empathize with one another Because they've heard their story They really live out together The bottom one God created all people Jesus said I'm to love my neighbor He also says I'm to love my enemy So therefore I want to alter all my disagreements Whether it's with brothers and sisters in Christ Or whether it's With somebody outside the church I want to bring that before Jesus." [26:17] (41 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
2. "We alter our conviction Or alter our disagreements As we bring those disagreements Before the Lord The first thing we want to do Is seek understanding It's our first goal We want to understand What the other person is saying We want to understand Our own convictions And we want to understand The other person's convictions So that therefore We can understand And agree together About what we're disagreeing about." [28:52] (29 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
3. "We want to seek understanding because maybe, just maybe, the Lord has something for us to learn. If nothing more, it just helps us to understand where the other person is coming from. You get bonus points if you listen to somebody and you tell them, that's a really good point. I've never thought about that before. I get in disagreements a lot with people theologically. Presbyterian Reformed theology, and that's a certain school of theology, of Christian theology. Folks that are usually Methodists, they're Wesleyan theology. And there can be disagreement." [30:14] (51 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
4. "We want to acknowledge the emotions. And this is probably the most important part of it because the reason things explode, is usually because of emotions. It's usually because of fear, anger, frustration, a sense of disrespect, a sense of disconnection that you're, that's why things explode. So you need to acknowledge. You need to acknowledge the emotions in you. You need to acknowledge the emotion in the other person and where they're coming from." [34:48] (28 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
5. "We seek understanding, to acknowledge the emotions, to focus on words that connect and to employ equitable solutions. Avoid the blow up. Avoid the explosion. And really learn to love our enemy. To love our neighbor. To love our brother and sister in Christ. And if you're listening to this, you're here, you're online, you're wondering about this, but you're not a Jesus follower. But maybe some of this has made sense to you." [58:59] (36 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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