Transformative Power of Gratitude in Our Lives

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I was talking to Neil flanaga a wonderful author and thinker and he's working on a book about gratitude I'm very grateful to Neil for recommending lots of other terrific stuff to read but he says in this book that he's working on right now it's not out yet he says he's been haunted by one question and it was asked two thousand years ago by the Apostle Paul's writing the church at Corinth and there's all kinds of conflict and bumping of ego and the stuff that you and I uh hassle with and that we see in our society in our country right now and Paul asked this question what do you have that you did not receive what do you have that you were not given and the reality is that everything I have I have been given [00:40:33]

The story of Peter Cadence, who offered free college education to students and their parents at Johnson's College Prep High School, exemplifies the power of gratitude. The joy and hope that filled the room were palpable, illustrating how gratitude can uplift and transform lives. This act of generosity reminds us that God is the ultimate giver, and our lives are filled with gifts we often take for granted. [00:56:59]

Neil said if you want a definition of gratitude gratitude is the Glad sense it is a perception but it's a glad perception that you have been gifted with something by someone that put you into a position of indebtedness it is a glad sense you have been gifted with something by somebody in a way that places you in their debt but makes you glad and this is part of why gratitude is so fundamental to the scriptures I think that uh gratitude Thanksgiving and so is used over 150 times very often it's commanded [00:57:18]

There are three elements that are needed in any moment to give rise to gratitude uh there needs to be a benefactor Benny apparently is the Latin for good uh we we in our day talk about the bennies the perks that you might get with the job so there is someone who gives a good gift a benefactor and then there needs to be a benefit there needs to be the good thing itself I will pay for college could be a cup of coffee that's brought to you in the morning whatever it is and then there needs to be a beneficiary there needs to be someone who receives and when these three elements are in place a benefactor a benefit and a beneficiary then gratitude is the natural response [01:05:22]

Now part of what that means is that my entire life uh is one in which I should be overwhelmed by gratitude because I did not earn my way here by the time I arrived there were others especially God but then my mother and father and others who had cared for me and watched over me and protected me and been generous with me before I ever even knew it every breath is a gift Every Beat of the heart is a gift every good and perfect gift comes from the father of all lights the scripture says [01:13:56]

Now what this means also is that I can have a problem around gratitude in four different ways one is I can fail to recognize the benefit that's part of what we're working on in the Gratitude challenge is to recognize uh that tree right there that flower right there that leaf right there that cloud right there this air that I breathe these are all gifts to learn to rock and fail to recognize the benefit the good I can also fail to see the Good Will of the benefactor that there is somebody who has chosen to give to me uh in a way that is really good [01:22:02]

So I can be a BL I can be blind to the benefit uh I can forget about it if I don't think of it enough um I can fail to appreciate the benefactor I can fail to recognize that the benefactor is a person of Goodwill that they are benevolent to me I can also fail to um realize that it comes to me as a gift we'll talk about this more there's more entitlement fits in if you give me a car or a college education I will be extremely grateful if I pay you for it it's transaction and so ironically the more entitled I am the less gratitude I will feel I must recognize that what I'm receiving here is not something I have merited or deserved that is coming to me as a gift [01:27:39]

And then the fourth way in which I can fail when it comes to gratitude is I can fail to express it I might perceive that it should be there but I don't say it and that's great problem one of the most famous studies of longevity in the history of social science is called the none study nun a study of nuns among other things they found that the nuns who failed to express gratitude or other positive emotions were twice as likely to die as those who Express gratitude so if you're a parent and you're working with your kids on being grateful you could just try this say thank you or die [01:34:59]

One of the ways to work on gratitude to spend a few minutes with it is simply to use this format I am thankful to and then you fill in the blank whoever that person is your benefactor I am thankful to blank four and then you list the benefit uh this is from Robert Emmons there is a difference between feeling grateful about something and being grateful to someone Brother David standalrass distinguishes between thankfulness and gratefulness thankfulness for Brother David is a much more personal experience that occurs when we have benefited from a specific kindness from another person [01:42:38]

When we thank we think namely in terms of Giver gift and receiver so now is the time to begin think of someone who has given to you might be a parent might be a teacher I think about somebody who was financially generous to me in a moment of need and that is overwhelming to me it might be a child it might be a friend think right now I am thankful to and think about someone who has uh worked put effort been generous maybe even sacrificed for your well-being I am grateful to and then I'm grateful for what is it that they gave you spend a few moments on that [01:50:17]

And then we bring it back to God I'm grateful to you for the day in which I live the air that I breathe the ground on which I walk the car that I drive the clothes that I wear people that I love where Jesus your ultimate gift we have a lot to be grateful for [01:57:22]

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