I Thought It Would Be Easier Week 1

Life is full of moments we expect to be easier than they turn out to be, and marriage is often at the top of that list. Many of us enter marriage with the hope that it will be simple, but quickly discover its complexity—much like trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube. Each marriage is unique, with its own set of challenges and dynamics, and comparing our relationships to others only leads to frustration. The good news is that God, through His Word, gives us practical wisdom for navigating marriage, not to make it perfect or painless, but to help us walk through it with greater grace and purpose.

The foundation for a thriving marriage is prioritizing faith above the relationship itself. When we put God first—before our spouse, our children, our family, and our friends—we allow Him to shape us into the kind of person who can love well. This means tending to our own spiritual growth, seeking God independently, and letting Him work on our hearts before we try to change our spouse. It’s easy to point fingers and wish our partner would change, but the Holy Spirit’s primary concern is transforming us from the inside out.

Scripture calls us to redefine what it means to submit and to lead in marriage. Submission isn’t about servitude or losing oneself; it’s about mutual respect and a shared commitment to move toward God together. For men, this means leading by example—being present, prioritizing spiritual growth, and loving sacrificially. For women, it means seeking a partner who is worthy of following, someone who points the family toward God. Marriage isn’t about rigid roles but about unity, communication, and shared purpose.

Loving each other as ourselves is at the heart of God’s design for marriage. This requires selflessness, intentionality, and a willingness to learn what our spouse truly needs—not just what we assume they want. Communication is key: expressing needs, listening deeply, and striving to meet each other where we are. The biblical call to love and respect is not a one-way street; both are essential, and both require humility and faith.

Marriage is a covenant, a sacred promise that reflects God’s own faithfulness. It’s not meant to be easy, but it is meant to be redemptive. Even when things are hard, there is hope. Small steps—like spending intentional time together, having honest conversations, and praying for one another—can make a profound difference. God created marriage, and He is faithful to help us as we seek to honor Him in it.

Key Takeaways

• 1. Prioritize Your Faith Above All Else True strength in marriage comes from putting God first, even before your spouse or children. When you focus on your own spiritual growth, you invite God to transform your heart, which in turn shapes your relationship. This order of priorities—God, then marriage, then family—creates a foundation that can weather life’s storms. Let God work on you before you try to change your spouse. [39:25]
• 2. Redefine Submission and Leadership Biblical submission is not about blind obedience or outdated gender roles; it’s about mutual respect and a shared journey toward God. Husbands are called to lead by loving sacrificially, and wives are encouraged to seek partners who point the family to Christ. The healthiest marriages are those where both partners submit to God first and to each other in practical, everyday ways. [46:42]
• 3. Love Each Other as Yourself—But Learn What That Means Loving your spouse as yourself requires more than good intentions; it demands understanding what your partner actually needs and values. This means asking, listening, and sometimes stepping outside your comfort zone to love in ways that are meaningful to them. Selflessness in marriage is a daily choice, and it’s often the small, thoughtful acts that build trust and intimacy. [54:26]
• 4. Respect and Love Are Both Essential The deepest needs of husbands and wives are often different—men crave respect, while women long to feel loved. Both are vital, and neither can be neglected without consequences. Practicing both love and respect, even when it feels undeserved or difficult, requires humility and faith, but it’s the path to a stronger, more resilient marriage. [56:46]
• 5. Humility and Hope in Difficult Seasons Marriage is a covenant that brings together two imperfect people, and there will be seasons of struggle. When things are hard, humility is the key—being willing to take the first step, to pray, to listen, and to seek help if needed. Even if your spouse isn’t walking with God, you can pray for them and trust that God is at work. There is always hope for restoration when we invite God into the process. [64:32]

Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [35:14] - Series Introduction: “I Thought It Would Be Easier”
• [35:44] - The Bible as Our Guide for Life
• [36:31] - Marriage: Expectations vs. Reality
• [36:55] - The Rubik’s Cube Analogy for Marriage
• [37:50] - Avoiding Comparison in Marriage
• [38:07] - God’s Instructions for the Best Marriage
• [39:04] - Prioritizing Faith Over Marriage
• [40:24] - Setting the Right Priorities
• [41:07] - Practical Ways to Grow Spiritually
• [43:28] - Letting God Transform You First
• [45:31] - Redefining Submission and Leadership
• [48:41] - The Direction of Spiritual Leadership
• [51:16] - God’s Definition of Marriage
• [54:26] - Loving Your Spouse as Yourself
• [56:09] - The Need for Love and Respect
• [61:40] - When Marriage Is Difficult: Leading with Love
• [64:32] - Hope and Humility in Hard Seasons
• [66:04] - Practical Steps and Prayer for Marriages

Bible Reading

Ephesians 5:21-33 (ESV) — > 21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
> 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
> 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.
> 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
> 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
> 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
> 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
> 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
> 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,
> 30 because we are members of his body.
> 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
> 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
> 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Psalm 139:23-24 (ESV) — > 23 Search me, O God, and know my heart!
> Try me and know my thoughts!
> 24 And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!

Observation Questions

1. According to Ephesians 5, what are the specific instructions given to husbands and wives in marriage? How does Paul describe the relationship between Christ and the church as a model?
2. In the sermon, what order of priorities does the pastor suggest for a healthy life and marriage? ([39:53])
3. What practical examples did the pastor and his wife share about how they pursue spiritual growth individually and together? ([41:07])
4. How does Psalm 139:23-24 relate to the idea of letting God work on us before we try to change our spouse? ([44:25])

Interpretation Questions

1. Why do you think Paul uses the analogy of Christ and the church when talking about marriage? What does this say about the purpose and depth of the marriage relationship?
2. The pastor emphasized prioritizing faith over marriage, even when it feels counterintuitive. Why might this be difficult, and what could be the benefits of this approach? ([39:25])
3. The sermon redefines submission and leadership as mutual respect and a shared journey toward God. How does this differ from common cultural or traditional views of marriage roles? ([46:42])
4. The pastor mentioned that men often need respect and women need to feel loved. Why might these needs be different, and how can misunderstanding them create challenges in marriage? ([56:09])

Application Questions

1. The pastor said, “Prioritize your faith in God before you ever get into a relationship. If you are married and your marriage is struggling, focus on your faith before your marriage today.” What is one specific way you could put God first in your life this week, even above your marriage or family? ([39:25])
2. Are there areas in your marriage (or close relationships) where you tend to compare yourself to others? How does comparison affect your attitude or actions, and what could you do to avoid it? ([37:50])
3. The pastor and his wife each have their own Bible reading plans and accountability groups. What is one step you could take to grow spiritually on your own, regardless of your spouse’s involvement? ([41:07])
4. When was the last time you asked your spouse (or a close friend/family member) what they actually need or value, instead of assuming? How could you start a conversation this week to better understand and serve them? ([54:26])
5. The sermon talked about “love and respect” being essential for both husbands and wives. What does it look like for you to show respect or love, even when it feels undeserved or difficult? ([56:46])
6. If you are in a hard season in your marriage or relationships, what would it look like to take a humble first step—such as praying for your spouse, seeking help, or simply spending intentional time together? ([01:04:32])
7. The pastor challenged everyone to go on a date night or spend intentional time together, even if it’s just a walk in the park. What is one small, practical thing you could do this week to invest in your marriage or a key relationship? ([01:06:04])