The Transformative Power of Forgiveness

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with we live in a hurting world we all receive hurt we inflict it hurt is natural forgiveness is Supernatural um out here this morning waiting for the sun to come up what a great time to talk about forgiveness it's a reminder of that wonderful statement in the Bible that says God's mercies are new every morning [00:26:38]

forgiveness is something that happens inside me it's something that I offer to another person freely as a gift quite independantly of them um reconciliation happens between two two people and it is something that must be earned so I want to talk about that a little bit today the the key issue right now is is there unforgiveness inside me [00:107:32]

at the heart of forgiveness is the replacing of ill will towards the other person malice particularly characterized by rumination bad thoughts and wanting to say bad things the replacing of that with Goodwill and EV Worthington talks about two different kinds of forgiveness um one of them is forgiveness as a decision both of these are important [00:177:64]

decisional forgiveness I agree to control to not engage in negative behavior towards the other person I won't hurt them I will not gossip about them a little more difficulty I also make the decision that I will not indulge in ruminating about them and the more that we go along on the Journey of forgiveness the quicker we're able I'm able to spot when that spiral brooding kind of thought comes [00:218:59]

emotional forgiveness is when I come to the place where when I see that name hear that voice um positive emotions like compassion sympathy empathy agape love wanting that other person to do well have taken the place of those negative ruminating resentful emotions just at the bodily level [00:300:12]

instead of wishing to avoid or seek revenge against the transgressor the forgiver is left with feelings of Goodwill that's emotional forgiveness it does not mean that hurtful memories are um wiped out we never forget serious hurts or offenses but we remember them differently after we forgive [00:326:08]

the Bible has a very strong bias towards reconciliation Jesus in the sermon of the mount says if you're offering you a gift at the altar and you remember that your brother or sister has something against you leave your gift there and go and be reconciled so the bias is to seek reconciliation might not be possible but of course until I have forgiven the other person [00:406:28]

I want to clarify the difference between forgiveness and Reconciliation particularly so that you will pursue forgiveness even if you're not sure that reconciliation will ever be possible um the Bible has a very strong bias towards reconciliation Jesus in the sermon of the mount says if you're offering you a gift at the altar and you remember that your brother or sister has something against you [00:393:47]

David actually could have heard Saul at that spot and tell Saul that um and then he goes to another place uh the desert of zip and tries to kill him one for the zipper and that doesn't work either now uh in between those moments are other moments where Saul feels really badly about what he's doing so one point when Jonathan says David loves you Saul says oh I'm sorry I'll never try to do this again [00:498:52]

the main thing I want to say today is that even if reconciliation is impossible I believe forgiveness is always on the table it is based on the mercy mer of God who forgives us and his mercies are new every morning God so um keep going on the Forgiveness journey and I'll talk to you again next time forgive us our debts as we [00:646:36]

it may be that the other person is an abuser or is dangerous in some way or would try to weaponize or use what you might say or do to hurt you further in the future there's a deep instability again the biases to move towards reconciliation you don't have to side that today we'll talk more about reconciliation in the days to come [00:624:04]

forgiving emotions will motivate attempts at reconciliation if the other person is open to it and Trust can be reestablished um reconciliation is needed when trust has been violated and I want to reestablish a relationship with the other person now again I want to clarify the difference between forgiveness and Reconciliation [00:374:63]

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