The Power of Words: Taming the Tongue
Summary
This morning, we gathered to reflect on the incredible power of our words and the wisdom God offers us for taming the tongue. We began by acknowledging God’s goodness, faithfulness, and the privilege we have to come before Him with thanksgiving and praise. As we continued our summer series in Proverbs, we focused on the profound impact our speech has—not only on others, but on the direction of our own lives and the condition of our hearts.
Words are not trivial; they are potent. Like a spark that can ignite a devastating fire, a careless word can cause irreparable harm. Proverbs and James both remind us that the tongue, though small, can steer the course of our lives, reveal the true state of our hearts, and even hold the power of life and death. Our speech is a daily outpouring of what fills our hearts, and if our hearts are not aligned with God, our words will inevitably reflect that.
We explored the sobering truth that our words can either build up or tear down, heal or wound, bless or curse. The story of Karen Carpenter illustrated how a single careless comment can shape a life, even to the point of tragedy. This should cause us to pause and consider: Are our words kind, helpful, and life-giving? Or do they wound and destroy?
To walk in wisdom, we must be vigilant in guarding our lips. This means not only restraining ourselves from speaking rashly, but also actively cultivating a pure heart. Immersing ourselves daily in God’s Word, spending time in prayer, and surrounding ourselves with godly community are essential practices for transforming the wellspring from which our words flow. We also learned the importance of measuring our words—asking if they are true, helpful, inspiring, necessary, and kind—before we speak.
Ultimately, our words matter deeply. They shape our relationships, our reputations, and our witness for Christ. Whether in our homes, workplaces, or online, we are called to be fountains of grace, encouragement, and truth. May we be people whose speech reflects the love and wisdom of God, bringing life wherever we go.
Key Takeaways
- Words Set the Direction of Our Lives
Our words are like the rudder of a ship, steering the course of our lives in ways we often underestimate. Every day, we author the story of our lives through the things we say, and careless words can set us on a path we never intended. Recognizing this power should lead us to greater intentionality and self-control in our speech. [41:14]
- Words Reveal the Condition of Our Hearts
Jesus taught that our mouths speak from the overflow of our hearts. If our words are consistently harsh, critical, or deceitful, it is a sign that something is amiss within us. True transformation begins not with the tongue, but with the heart—allowing God to purify us from the inside out. [45:07]
- Words Hold the Power of Life and Death
The tongue can breathe life into others or inflict deep wounds that linger for years. A single word can encourage, heal, and restore, or it can devastate and destroy. We must never underestimate the lasting impact our words can have on those around us. [48:14]
- Guarding Our Lips Requires Daily Discipline
Taming the tongue is not a one-time effort but a continuous act of vigilance. This involves immersing ourselves in Scripture, praying for the Spirit’s help, and seeking accountability within a community of believers. By keeping our hearts pure, we equip ourselves to speak words that honor God and bless others. [52:31]
- Measure Your Words with Wisdom
Before speaking, we should pause and ask: Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it inspiring? Is it necessary? Is it kind? This simple but profound filter can transform our conversations, making our speech a source of grace and encouragement rather than harm. [55:36]
Youtube Chapters
[00:00] - Welcome
[00:45] - Call to Worship and Opening Prayer
[03:00] - Worship in Song and Sign Language Choir
[31:15] - Scripture Reading: Colossians and Pleasing God
[34:47] - Introduction: The Power of Words
[36:31] - The Tongue as a Fire: Historical Illustrations
[39:01] - Proverbs on Guarding Our Lips
[40:31] - Our Words Set the Direction of Our Lives
[43:19] - Words Reveal the Condition of Our Hearts
[47:23] - Words Hold the Power of Life and Death
[50:12] - How to Tame the Tongue: Guarding Our Lips
[52:31] - Three Practices for a Pure Heart
[53:43] - Measuring Our Words: The THINK Acrostic
[58:03] - A Charter for Grace-Filled Speech
[59:43] - The Impact of Words on Relationships
[01:00:26] - Final Poem and Closing Prayer
[01:02:03] - Announcements: VBS and Church Update
[01:03:36] - Reflections on God’s Sovereignty and Church Family
[01:06:31] - Sending Forth and Benediction
Study Guide
Bible Study Discussion Guide: The Power of Words and Taming the Tongue
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### Bible Reading
- Proverbs 18:21 – “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
- Matthew 12:34b – “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”
- James 3:3-8 – (Summary: The tongue is a small part of the body but makes great boasts. It is like a rudder steering a ship, or a spark that can set a forest on fire. No human being can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.)
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### Observation Questions
1. According to Proverbs 18:21, what kind of power does the tongue have? What are some examples the sermon gave of this power in action? [47:23]
2. In Matthew 12:34, Jesus says, “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” What does this mean about the connection between our words and our hearts? [43:19]
3. The sermon compared the tongue to a rudder on a ship and a spark that can start a fire. What do these images teach us about the potential impact of our words? [41:14]
4. What story did the pastor share about Karen Carpenter, and how did it illustrate the lasting impact of words? [48:14]
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### Interpretation Questions
1. Why do you think the Bible places so much emphasis on guarding our speech? What are the dangers of not doing so, according to both Proverbs and James? [39:01]
2. The sermon said, “Our words set the direction of our lives.” In what ways can a single word or conversation change the course of someone’s life? [41:14]
3. If our words reveal the condition of our hearts, what does it mean if we often find ourselves speaking harshly or critically? What might God want us to do about that? [45:07]
4. The pastor mentioned that taming the tongue is not a one-time effort but a daily discipline. Why is it so hard to control our words, and what does this reveal about our need for God’s help? [52:31]
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### Application Questions
1. Think about a recent conversation where your words either built someone up or tore them down. What was going on in your heart at that moment, and what would you do differently if you could? [47:23]
2. The sermon challenged us to “measure our words” by asking if they are true, helpful, inspiring, necessary, and kind (THINK). Which of these is hardest for you to practice, and why? [55:36]
3. The pastor shared that immersing ourselves in God’s Word, prayer, and godly community helps purify our hearts and, in turn, our speech. Which of these three practices do you need to grow in most right now? What’s one step you can take this week? [52:31]
4. If someone paid you $10 for every kind word you spoke and you had to pay $5 for every unkind word, would you be in debt or in the black? What does this reveal about your speech patterns? [56:28]
5. Are there certain people or situations that tend to bring out the worst in your speech? What can you do to prepare your heart before entering those situations? [45:07]
6. The sermon said our words shape our relationships, reputations, and witness for Christ. Is there a relationship in your life that needs healing because of something said? What would it look like to take a step toward reconciliation this week? [59:43]
7. The pastor encouraged us to be “fountains of grace, encouragement, and truth” in every setting—including online. What is one practical way you can use your words to bring life to someone this week, whether at home, work, or on social media? [58:03]
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Closing Prayer Suggestion:
Ask God to help you guard your lips, purify your heart, and use your words to bring life, healing, and encouragement to others this week.
Devotional
Day 1: The Power of Words—Life and Death in the Tongue
Our words are not insignificant; they carry the power to build up or to tear down, to heal or to wound, to give life or to bring destruction. Just as a small spark can ignite a devastating fire, a single careless word can cause lasting harm, while a kind word can bring hope and healing. Every day, we are given countless opportunities to choose words that bless, encourage, and restore, or words that discourage, divide, and destroy. Consider the impact your words have on those around you—are they fountains of life, or do they leave scars? [48:57]
Proverbs 18:21 (ESV)
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
Reflection: Think of a recent conversation where your words had a noticeable impact—did they bring life or harm? How can you intentionally use your words today to encourage and uplift someone who needs it?
Day 2: Words Reveal the Heart
What comes out of your mouth is a direct reflection of what is stored in your heart. If your heart is filled with God’s love, grace, and truth, your words will naturally reflect those qualities. But if your heart harbors anger, bitterness, or deceit, your speech will reveal it, no matter how hard you try to hide it. The tongue is like a bucket that draws from the well of your heart, and your regular speech is a window into your soul. Take time to examine not just your words, but what they reveal about your inner life and relationship with God. [45:07]
Luke 6:45 (ESV)
The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.
Reflection: What do your words this past week reveal about the condition of your heart? Is there something you need to surrender to God so that your speech reflects His love and truth?
Day 3: Guarding Your Lips—The Wisdom of Restraint
Self-control in speech is a mark of wisdom, protecting us from unnecessary conflict, confusion, and self-inflicted harm. To guard your lips is to guard your life, for rash and impulsive words can lead to ruin. Practicing restraint means measuring your words, thinking before you speak, and choosing silence when it is wise. This discipline not only preserves your relationships and reputation but also honors God, who calls us to be thoughtful and gracious in all our communication. [39:01]
Proverbs 13:3 (ESV)
Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.
Reflection: Before you speak today, pause and ask yourself if your words are necessary, true, and kind. In what situation can you practice restraint and wisdom with your speech?
Day 4: Filling Your Heart with God’s Word
The best way to ensure that your words are pure and life-giving is to fill your heart with God’s Word. When Scripture saturates your mind and soul, it transforms your inner life, making it more likely that your speech will reflect God’s character. This happens not just by reading the Bible, but by meditating on it, memorizing it, and allowing it to shape your thoughts and actions. Daily time in God’s Word, prayer, and fellowship with other believers are essential practices for keeping your heart—and therefore your words—pure. [52:31]
Psalm 119:11 (ESV)
I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.
Reflection: What is one verse you can meditate on or memorize this week to help guard your heart and guide your words? How can you make time daily to let God’s Word shape your speech?
Day 5: Speaking with Grace—A Charter for Every Conversation
Every time you open your mouth, you have the opportunity to give grace. Whether at the dinner table, in the classroom, at work, in church, or online, your words should be marked by kindness, encouragement, and wisdom. Speaking with grace means choosing words that build up, heal, and point others to God’s love, even when it would be easier to criticize or tear down. Let your speech be a fountain of life to those around you, reflecting the heart of Christ in every interaction. [58:03]
Ephesians 4:29 (ESV)
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Reflection: Who in your life needs to hear a word of grace from you today? How can you be intentional to speak encouragement and blessing into their life, especially in a place where negativity is common?
Quotes
That's what the Scripture's trying to say. While we can do incredible things with our tongues, our tongues are powerful and they're potent. And they're capable of doing so much good and yet such great harm when it's not in control. Did you know that in the book of Proverbs, there's over 90 verses committed to learning how to control your tongue and understanding what your tongue can do, the damage and the good it can do. It gives us incredible insight into the power of the tongue and how we're to handle it. But there's no verse, maybe more important to me because my wife made me memorize this verse probably 20 years ago. [00:38:10] (42 seconds)
Our words set the direction of our lives. According to Dr. Matthias Mail, the average person, get a load of this, speaks 16 ,000 words a day. That's 112 ,000 words a week. That's longer than the average book. So, think of it this way. We are all authors publishing 52 books from the printing press of our mouths every single week. Isn't that crazy? Here's the sad part. For some of us, our books are always nonfiction. [00:40:26] (36 seconds)
But here's the thing about our words. Our words set the direction of our lives. They are, as James teaches, a rudder steering our lives. Listen to what he says in James 3. We put a bit into the mouth of a horse to make it obey. And we're able to make it go where we want. Or think of a ship, big as it is, driven by such strong winds. It can be steered by a very small rudder. And it goes wherever the pilot wants it to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, yet it makes great boasts. [00:41:14] (33 seconds)
The second thing that we need to understand is that words reveal the condition of our heart. And Jesus is speaking in Matthew 12, and he says this, for the mouth speaks out of the abundance of the heart. In other words, the tongue is the bucket that dips into the well of your heart. It dips into the depths of your heart, and it reveals who you really are. See, Jesus was saying that a person's words tell the true condition of their heart. [00:43:35] (27 seconds)
A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart. An evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. And so, if you want to know what's on the inside of a person, without being judgmental, but being realistic, watch their actions, listen to their words, and what comes out of their mouth on a regular basis. I'm not talking about when they've lost their cool. I'm talking about on a regular basis, how do they talk? What do they say? Because if they're angry, rude, and lewd all the time, you can be assured that what's on the inside is not good. [00:44:53] (43 seconds)
They set the direction of our lives. They reveal the condition of our hearts. And third, words have the power of life and death. Proverbs 18, 21 says, The tongue has the power of life and death. Those who love to talk will have to eat their own words. In other words, words can either breathe life into a situation, into another person, or they can suck the life out of that person. So words can help or words can hurt. Proverbs 15, 4, Kind words heal and help. Cutting words wound and maim. How many of you know the name Karen Carpenter from the pop star from the 1970s? [00:47:47] (41 seconds)
See, the truth is, this verse right here should make us pause and ask, are my words, are the words that are coming out of my mouth, are they kind? Are they helpful? Do they heal? Do they wound? Do they bless? Do they curse? Because our words have the power of life and death. And so that brings us to a different question. If we were going to be wise with our words, what do we need to do? What do we need to do to tame the tongue? Well, with that, let's go back to that verse I shared earlier. He who guards his lips guards his life, but a man who speaks rashly comes to ruin. [00:49:27] (41 seconds)
If the tongue is the bucket that dips into the well of the heart, the best way to diffuse the tongue is to keep the contents of your heart pure. Make sense? Are you following me? You've got to keep the contents of the heart pure. How do we do that? How do we keep the contents of our heart pure? Well, I immediately think of a passage of Scripture in the book of Psalm. It says to hide God's Word in your heart. For what purpose? [00:51:15] (32 seconds)
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