The Mind of a People Pleaser: Finding True Freedom
Summary
### Summary
Welcome, everyone. Today, we are closing our series titled "Mind Games" with part four, "The Mind of a People Pleaser." We began by acknowledging Memorial Day and honoring those who have served in the armed forces, allowing us the freedom to worship openly. We also welcomed our first-time guests and encouraged them to fill out a Next Step Card to support local charities.
We then delved into the story of King Saul from 1 Samuel 13. Saul was 30 years old when he became king and reigned over Israel for 42 years. He chose 3,000 men to fight the Philistines, but when the Israelites saw their situation was critical, they hid in caves and thickets. Saul waited seven days for Samuel to arrive and offer the burnt offering, but when Samuel didn't come, Saul took matters into his own hands and offered the sacrifice himself. This act of disobedience cost him his kingdom, as Samuel told him that the Lord had sought out a man after His own heart to rule Israel.
We explored the concept of people-pleasing and how it can lead to disobedience and idolatry. Saul's desire to please his men and not appear weak led him to sin. This is a form of idolatry because it places the perception of people above obedience to God. We discussed how people-pleasing can be passed down through generations, affecting not just us but our children and their children.
We then shifted our focus to the importance of abiding in God. Many of us are more saturated with our phones and social media than with God's Word. This leads to foolish decisions and a lack of spiritual insight. We need to get back to the feet of Jesus, seeking His presence and guidance in our lives. I shared my own struggles with insecurity and people-pleasing, emphasizing that our confidence should come from God alone.
We also talked about the importance of surrounding ourselves with people who encourage us and hold us accountable. Saul's downfall was partly due to the lack of accountability in his circle. We need friends who will call out our mistakes and help us grow spiritually.
I shared a personal story about my struggle with writing a book due to fear of what others might think. But I realized that stepping out in faith and obedience to God is more important than the opinions of others. This led to a broader discussion on how insecurity and fear of people's opinions can hold us back from fulfilling God's calling in our lives.
We concluded with the story of David and Goliath. David initially put on Saul's armor but realized it didn't fit him. He took it off and faced Goliath with his sling and stones, defeating the giant. This story illustrates the importance of being true to who God has made us to be, rather than trying to fit into someone else's mold.
Finally, I confessed my own fear of allowing a move of the Holy Spirit in our church due to past abuses and people's opinions. But moving forward, we will be a Spirit-filled church, embracing the presence and power of the Holy Spirit.
### Key Takeaways
1. The Danger of People-Pleasing: People-pleasing is not just a harmless habit; it is a form of idolatry. When we prioritize the opinions of others over obedience to God, we place those opinions on a pedestal, effectively worshiping them. This can lead to disobedience and missed opportunities for God's blessings in our lives. Saul's downfall was a direct result of his desire to please his men rather than God. [20:01]
2. The Importance of Abiding in God: Many of us are more connected to our phones and social media than to God. This leads to foolish decisions and a lack of spiritual insight. We need to get back to the feet of Jesus, immersing ourselves in His Word and presence. Only then can we make wise decisions and fulfill our God-given purpose. [31:26]
3. Surround Yourself with Accountability: Saul's downfall was partly due to the lack of accountability in his circle. We need friends who will call out our mistakes and help us grow spiritually. Surround yourself with people who encourage you and hold you accountable, helping you to stay on the path of obedience to God. [29:50]
4. Step Out in Faith: Fear of people's opinions can hold us back from fulfilling God's calling in our lives. Whether it's writing a book, starting a business, or stepping into ministry, we must overcome our insecurities and step out in faith. God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind. [16:01]
5. Be True to Who God Made You to Be: David's victory over Goliath came when he took off Saul's armor and faced the giant with his sling and stones. This story illustrates the importance of being true to who God has made us to be, rather than trying to fit into someone else's mold. Embrace your unique gifts and calling, and trust that God will use you as you are. [42:20]
### YouTube Chapters
[0:00] - Welcome
[00:53] - Honoring Memorial Day and First-Time Guests
[02:22] - Introduction to "Mind Games Part 4"
[03:00] - The Story of King Saul
[07:32] - The Fear of People's Opinions
[11:12] - The Insecurity Trap
[16:01] - Stepping Out in Faith
[18:00] - Saul's Disobedience and Idolatry
[20:01] - The Danger of People-Pleasing
[24:46] - How to Find Favor with God
[28:21] - Surround Yourself with Accountability
[31:26] - The Importance of Abiding in God
[35:27] - The Legacy of People-Pleasing
[39:14] - David and Goliath: Being True to Yourself
[42:20] - Embracing Your Unique Calling
[45:56] - A Spirit-Filled Church
Study Guide
### Bible Study Discussion Guide
#### Bible Reading
1 Samuel 13:1-15 (NIV)
#### Observation Questions
1. What was the critical situation that led the Israelites to hide in caves and thickets? ([03:45])
2. Why did Saul decide to offer the burnt offering himself instead of waiting for Samuel? ([04:40])
3. What was Samuel's response to Saul's action of offering the burnt offering? ([05:29])
4. How did Saul's desire to please his men contribute to his downfall? ([18:28])
#### Interpretation Questions
1. How does the story of Saul illustrate the dangers of people-pleasing? ([20:01])
2. In what ways can people-pleasing be considered a form of idolatry according to the sermon? ([20:59])
3. How does the sermon suggest that insecurity and fear of people's opinions can hold us back from fulfilling God's calling? ([16:01])
4. What role does accountability play in preventing the pitfalls of people-pleasing, as discussed in the sermon? ([29:50])
#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a time when you prioritized the opinions of others over obedience to God. How did that decision impact your spiritual life? ([20:01])
2. Are there specific areas in your life where you feel more connected to your phone or social media than to God? What steps can you take to immerse yourself more in God's Word and presence? ([31:26])
3. Who are the people in your life that hold you accountable and encourage you spiritually? How can you strengthen these relationships? ([29:50])
4. Is there a dream or calling that you have been hesitant to pursue due to fear of people's opinions? What practical steps can you take this week to step out in faith? ([16:01])
5. Think about a time when you tried to fit into someone else's mold, like David with Saul's armor. How did that experience affect you, and what did you learn from it? ([42:20])
6. How can you create a space in your life for the Holy Spirit to move, despite past fears or abuses? ([45:56])
7. Identify one specific way you can be true to who God made you to be this week. How will you embrace your unique gifts and calling? ([42:20])
Devotional
### Day 1: The Danger of People-Pleasing
People-pleasing is a subtle form of idolatry that can lead us away from God's will. When we prioritize the opinions and approval of others over our obedience to God, we place those opinions on a pedestal, effectively worshiping them. This misplaced focus can lead to disobedience and missed opportunities for God's blessings in our lives. King Saul's downfall was a direct result of his desire to please his men rather than God. His actions serve as a cautionary tale for us to examine our own motivations and ensure that we are seeking to please God above all else. [20:01]
1 Samuel 15:24 (ESV): "Saul said to Samuel, 'I have sinned, for I have transgressed the commandment of the Lord and your words, because I feared the people and obeyed their voice.'"
Reflection: Is there an area in your life where you are prioritizing the opinions of others over obedience to God? How can you begin to shift your focus back to pleasing God today?
### Day 2: The Importance of Abiding in God
In our fast-paced, technology-driven world, many of us are more connected to our phones and social media than to God. This constant distraction can lead to foolish decisions and a lack of spiritual insight. To make wise decisions and fulfill our God-given purpose, we need to immerse ourselves in God's Word and presence. Abiding in God means spending quality time with Him, seeking His guidance, and allowing His Word to saturate our hearts and minds. By doing so, we can gain the spiritual insight needed to navigate life's challenges and stay aligned with God's will. [31:26]
John 15:4 (ESV): "Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me."
Reflection: How much time do you spend daily in God's Word and prayer compared to time spent on your phone or social media? What steps can you take to prioritize abiding in God this week?
### Day 3: Surround Yourself with Accountability
Accountability is crucial for spiritual growth and staying on the path of obedience to God. King Saul's downfall was partly due to the lack of accountability in his circle. We need friends who will call out our mistakes, encourage us, and help us grow spiritually. Surrounding ourselves with people who hold us accountable can help us stay focused on God's will and avoid the pitfalls of disobedience. These relationships are essential for maintaining a strong and vibrant faith. [29:50]
Proverbs 27:17 (ESV): "Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another."
Reflection: Do you have friends or mentors who hold you accountable in your spiritual journey? If not, who can you reach out to this week to build such relationships?
### Day 4: Step Out in Faith
Fear of people's opinions can hold us back from fulfilling God's calling in our lives. Whether it's writing a book, starting a business, or stepping into ministry, we must overcome our insecurities and step out in faith. God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind. By trusting in God's strength and guidance, we can overcome our fears and take bold steps toward fulfilling His purpose for our lives. [16:01]
2 Timothy 1:7 (ESV): "For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control."
Reflection: What is one area of your life where fear of people's opinions is holding you back? How can you take a step of faith this week to move forward in that area?
### Day 5: Be True to Who God Made You to Be
David's victory over Goliath came when he took off Saul's armor and faced the giant with his sling and stones. This story illustrates the importance of being true to who God has made us to be, rather than trying to fit into someone else's mold. Embrace your unique gifts and calling, and trust that God will use you as you are. By being authentic and true to ourselves, we can fulfill God's purpose and make a significant impact in the world. [42:20]
1 Samuel 17:39-40 (ESV): "And David strapped his sword over his armor. And he tried in vain to go, for he had not tested them. Then David said to Saul, 'I cannot go with these, for I have not tested them.' So David put them off. Then he took his staff in his hand and chose five smooth stones from the brook and put them in his shepherd's pouch. His sling was in his hand, and he approached the Philistine."
Reflection: Are there areas in your life where you are trying to fit into someone else's mold? How can you embrace your unique gifts and calling this week?
Quotes
### Quotes for Outreach
1. "What would you do if you weren't afraid of what other people thought of you? My wife has been encouraging me and pushing me to write a book for years. And I've told her, no, I'm not going to. I have nothing to say. That we can give those who are thirsty something to drink and where it would cause them to never thirst again. But we've saturated ourselves in our cell phones and in media and in technology more than we saturate ourselves in God so we make foolish decisions and then we question why." [13:26]
2. "How many of you don't raise your hands because I would be one of them? First thing you do when you wake up in the morning is you grab your phone. Okay, Matt, I told you not to raise your hand. He's like, I didn't, I said it with my voice. How many of you the first thing you do is you go to social media? You want to see if somebody liked your photo just to, even that early in the morning you need validation." [32:21]
3. "I just think that the concern of others is a big thing. Here's my third thought. People pleasing is a mark of insecurity. And I don't think we think of it as a sin issue, but it's a big sin issue. It's so big that it knocks Saul off his kingship as well as the generations to come. Here's the interesting thing. He jacked up so bad that he messed it up for his son, Jonathan. You're not careful. Be careful." [34:49]
4. "What would you do if you weren't afraid of what others would think of you if you did that thing? What's that one thing that's been in the back of your mind that has been buried deep within the crevices of your heart that you have sensed that you are supposed to do, but you've been restrained and held back by no one other than yourself and your fears and your insecurities as to what other people think of you?" [07:32]
5. "I think that culture and society has ramped this, this thing of insecurity up with social media, that we have access to everyone's every move. I mean, I know what you wore. I know what you ate. I know that you didn't shower. We know everything because of your social media, right? We post everything." [09:55]
### Quotes for Members
1. "We need to get back to the feet of Jesus. You want to know what's going to be the change in this world? You want to know what's going to be the change in this generation? You want to know what's going to be the difference in the church, a church that is more enamored by the feet and the presence of Jesus and by the aesthetics of the building? That at the very core is it. Are we willing to seek God to that capacity and that extent?" [33:10]
2. "I have found through brokenness that my confidence comes in him and him alone. I don't get up here and preach because I think that I'm something or because I think that I'm this profound, prolific speaker. I get up here and speak because I know he chose this foolish thing to confound the wise. I know that he gave me a gift. And let me tell you something. I just be honest. Let me tell you something. There's more times than not that I rather not speak out of fear, but I press through that fear in hopes that God would speak through me because I'm not trying to impress you. I'm trying to hope that the Holy Spirit will arrest your heart and bring you to a place of abiding in him." [33:58]
3. "The more you walk in obedience to God, the more layers of toxic friendships, relationships, and people will peel off of you. The more, the closer you get to God, the more exposure of your heart and your character takes place, the more of the sanctification process, the process of becoming more like Jesus takes place, a lot of people are going to start falling away from you. Be careful that you're not trying to keep those people in your life that God has made the big exit door and said, please exit." [28:21]
4. "How many of us have been wasting our lives trying to be something that we've never called been called to be in order to have something that we've never been called to have? How many of us have been taking on the armor and taking on the personalities and taking on the correct all these things as we're marching towards what's already ours in our own skin? And the Bible says that it's like he came to, it's like he probably took a step and he was like, what am I doing? I don't know if he got convicted. I don't know if the Lord spoke to him. I don't know if he called his therapist. I don't know what he did. But he came to his senses. He felt. This isn't me." [42:20]
5. "When you finally get the courage to do whatever it is that maybe you sense in your heart or God is leading you to, be ready for people to walk out of your life. That is not an indicator that God is not in it. That's just an indicator that God is so much in it that he has to get some people in your exterior who ain't for you outside of you. So he's got to sift some people in your life and in, are you still with me today, Collective Church?" [28:21]
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