The Divine Intent and Sanctity of Marriage

 

Summary

In Mark 10:1-12, Jesus addresses the Pharisees' question about the legality of divorce, emphasizing the sanctity and original intent of marriage. The Pharisees' inquiry was not genuine but a test, possibly to trap Jesus politically or theologically. Jesus redirects them to the Word of God, highlighting that Moses allowed divorce due to the hardness of human hearts, but from the beginning, marriage was meant to be a lifelong union. This teaching underscores the divine intention for marriage as a sacred covenant, not to be dissolved by human whims.

Historically, the debate over what constitutes legitimate grounds for divorce has persisted, with differing interpretations among Jewish rabbis and within the Christian church. The conservative Shammai school limited grounds for divorce to sexual infidelity, while the liberal Hillel school allowed for broader reasons. Jesus, however, points back to the creation narrative, affirming that marriage is a divine institution meant to be permanent.

In Matthew's parallel account, Jesus introduces the "exceptive clause," allowing divorce in cases of sexual immorality. This clause has been interpreted in various ways, with some churches permitting divorce only for adultery, while others include broader definitions of sexual immorality. The Apostle Paul adds another ground for divorce: the desertion of a believer by an unbelieving spouse.

The challenge for the church today is to navigate these complex issues with wisdom and compassion, recognizing the sanctity of marriage while also acknowledging the reality of human sinfulness. The church must uphold the biblical standards for marriage and divorce, ensuring that decisions are made with careful consideration and pastoral care.

Key Takeaways:

- The Sanctity of Marriage: Marriage is a divine institution established by God, intended to be a lifelong union between a man and a woman. It is not merely a social contract but a sacred covenant that reflects God's design for human relationships. This understanding calls Christians to honor and uphold the sanctity of marriage in a culture that often devalues it. [17:24]

- The Hardness of Human Hearts: Jesus acknowledges that Moses permitted divorce due to the hardness of human hearts, highlighting the reality of sin and brokenness in human relationships. This concession was not part of God's original design but a response to human fallibility. Christians are called to seek God's grace to overcome the hardness of their hearts and to strive for reconciliation and forgiveness in their marriages. [19:05]

- Grounds for Divorce: Jesus permits divorce on the grounds of sexual immorality, as recorded in Matthew's gospel. This exception recognizes the profound violation of trust that occurs in cases of adultery or sexual immorality. However, the church must carefully discern and apply these principles, ensuring that decisions are made with pastoral sensitivity and biblical fidelity. [22:37]

- The Role of the Church: The church has a responsibility to provide guidance and support to couples facing marital difficulties. This includes offering biblical teaching on marriage, providing counseling and support, and exercising church discipline when necessary. The church must be a place of grace and truth, helping individuals navigate the complexities of marriage and divorce with wisdom and compassion. [24:49]

- Commitment to Holiness: Christians are called to live according to God's standards, even when it goes against cultural norms. This includes upholding the sanctity of marriage and resisting the temptation to conform to the world's views on divorce and cohabitation. By committing to holiness, Christians bear witness to the transformative power of the gospel in their lives and relationships. [30:59]

Youtube Chapters:

- [00:00] - Welcome
- [00:22] - Reading of Mark 10:1-12
- [01:56] - Prayer for Understanding
- [02:43] - Historical Context of Divorce
- [03:37] - Sorokin's Alarm on Divorce Rates
- [04:43] - Modern Trends in Marriage
- [05:37] - Christian Perspective on Cohabitation
- [06:37] - Pharisees' Question to Jesus
- [08:12] - The Test for Jesus
- [09:51] - Old Testament Legislation
- [11:11] - Rabbinical Debates on Divorce
- [12:40] - Conservative vs. Liberal Views
- [15:12] - Jesus' Response to the Pharisees
- [17:24] - God's Original Design for Marriage
- [19:05] - The Exceptive Clause in Matthew
- [22:37] - Grounds for Divorce
- [24:49] - Church's Role in Divorce Cases
- [30:59] - Commitment to Marriage
- [31:46] - Closing Prayer

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide

Bible Reading:
- Mark 10:1-12
- Matthew 19:8-9
- Genesis 2:24

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Observation Questions:

1. What was the Pharisees' intention when they asked Jesus about the legality of divorce? How did Jesus respond to their question? [07:23]

2. According to Jesus, why did Moses permit divorce, and what does this reveal about human nature? [16:41]

3. How does Jesus' teaching in Mark 10:1-12 reflect the original intent of marriage as described in Genesis? [17:24]

4. What is the "exceptive clause" mentioned in Matthew's account, and how does it relate to the grounds for divorce? [22:37]

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Interpretation Questions:

1. How does Jesus' reference to the creation narrative in Genesis emphasize the sanctity and permanence of marriage? [17:24]

2. In what ways does the "hardness of human hearts" impact relationships and the institution of marriage? [19:05]

3. How should the church balance upholding the sanctity of marriage with compassion and understanding for those facing marital difficulties? [24:49]

4. What are the implications of the "exceptive clause" for modern Christian views on divorce and remarriage? [22:37]

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Application Questions:

1. Reflect on your understanding of marriage as a sacred covenant. How does this perspective influence your current or future relationships? [17:24]

2. In what ways can you seek God's grace to overcome the hardness of your heart in your relationships, particularly in marriage? [19:05]

3. How can you support friends or family members who are experiencing marital difficulties while upholding biblical principles? [24:49]

4. Consider the cultural views on marriage and divorce. How can you resist conforming to these views and instead commit to living according to God's standards? [30:59]

5. If you are married, how can you actively work to strengthen your marriage and prevent the issues that might lead to divorce? [29:24]

6. How can the church community provide better support and guidance for couples considering divorce, ensuring decisions are made with pastoral care? [24:49]

7. Identify one specific way you can demonstrate commitment to holiness in your relationships this week. How will you hold yourself accountable? [30:59]

Devotional

Day 1: Marriage as a Sacred Covenant
Marriage is not just a social contract but a divine institution established by God, intended to be a lifelong union between a man and a woman. This sacred covenant reflects God's design for human relationships, calling Christians to honor and uphold the sanctity of marriage in a culture that often devalues it. In Mark 10:1-12, Jesus emphasizes the original intent of marriage, redirecting the Pharisees to the Word of God and highlighting that Moses allowed divorce due to the hardness of human hearts. However, from the beginning, marriage was meant to be a lifelong union. This understanding challenges believers to view marriage as a reflection of God's love and commitment, urging them to nurture and protect this sacred bond. [17:24]

"For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called." (Isaiah 54:5, ESV)

Reflection: How can you actively honor the sanctity of marriage in your daily life, whether you are married or single, in a way that reflects God's original design for this sacred covenant?


Day 2: Overcoming the Hardness of Heart
Jesus acknowledges that Moses permitted divorce due to the hardness of human hearts, highlighting the reality of sin and brokenness in human relationships. This concession was not part of God's original design but a response to human fallibility. Christians are called to seek God's grace to overcome the hardness of their hearts and to strive for reconciliation and forgiveness in their marriages. By recognizing the areas where our hearts have become hardened, we can invite God's transformative power to bring healing and restoration. This process requires humility, prayer, and a willingness to extend grace to others, as we have received grace from God. [19:05]

"And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh." (Ezekiel 36:26, ESV)

Reflection: Identify an area in your relationships where your heart has become hardened. How can you invite God's grace to soften your heart and pursue reconciliation today?


Day 3: Discernment in Grounds for Divorce
Jesus permits divorce on the grounds of sexual immorality, as recorded in Matthew's gospel. This exception recognizes the profound violation of trust that occurs in cases of adultery or sexual immorality. However, the church must carefully discern and apply these principles, ensuring that decisions are made with pastoral sensitivity and biblical fidelity. The challenge lies in balancing the sanctity of marriage with the reality of human sinfulness, requiring wisdom and compassion in addressing each unique situation. By seeking God's guidance and the counsel of mature believers, individuals can navigate these complex issues with integrity and grace. [22:37]

"Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous." (Hebrews 13:4, ESV)

Reflection: How can you support someone in your community who is facing marital difficulties, offering both truth and grace in a way that honors God's design for marriage?


Day 4: The Church's Role in Marital Support
The church has a responsibility to provide guidance and support to couples facing marital difficulties. This includes offering biblical teaching on marriage, providing counseling and support, and exercising church discipline when necessary. The church must be a place of grace and truth, helping individuals navigate the complexities of marriage and divorce with wisdom and compassion. By fostering a community that values and supports healthy marriages, the church can be a beacon of hope and healing for those in need. This involves creating an environment where couples feel safe to seek help and are encouraged to grow in their relationship with God and each other. [24:49]

"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." (Galatians 6:2, ESV)

Reflection: In what ways can you contribute to creating a supportive and nurturing environment for marriages within your church community?


Day 5: Commitment to Holiness in Relationships
Christians are called to live according to God's standards, even when it goes against cultural norms. This includes upholding the sanctity of marriage and resisting the temptation to conform to the world's views on divorce and cohabitation. By committing to holiness, Christians bear witness to the transformative power of the gospel in their lives and relationships. This commitment requires intentionality and perseverance, as believers seek to align their lives with God's will and reflect His love to the world. By prioritizing holiness in their relationships, Christians can demonstrate the beauty and strength of a life surrendered to God. [30:59]

"As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct." (1 Peter 1:14-15, ESV)

Reflection: What specific steps can you take today to pursue holiness in your relationships, resisting cultural pressures and aligning your life with God's standards?

Quotes


And Jesus answered and said to them, “Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. But from the beginning of the creation, God made them ‘male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate.” [00:00:56]

Our Father and our God, as we now turn our attention to the sanctity of the institution of marriage, which You have been pleased to give to Your people for our well being, we pray that You would pierce through the hardness of our hearts, cut through the cacophony of noise that we hear from the secular culture, that we might understand these things concerning marriage according to your Word. For we ask it in Jesus’ name. Amen. [00:02:14]

But let me say this to you in all candor. It’s a matter of course in the pagan society, but for Christians ever to cohabit outside the institution of marriage is a gross and heinous sin against God, and is something that should be absolutely unheard of in the Christian community. But you know as well as I do that this practice is now taking place widely within the church because so often even professing Christians take their cue not from the Word of God on how we should live, but rather from the culture around them, and what customs are acceptable in our culture, remember are pagan customs. And we are called as Christians to march to a different drummer. [00:05:37]

Well Jesus, you know, was never much concerned with appeasing public opinion or political correctness to appease the theologians or the politicians. His meat and His drink was to do the will of the Father. He was concerned for truth and for holiness, so let’s hear how Jesus responds to this question. He answered and said, “What did Moses command you?” He points them right back to the Word of God, and they answered saying, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and to dismiss her.” [00:15:35]

Now Jesus answered and said to them, “Because of the hardness of your heart, he wrote you this precept, but from the beginning of creation God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife.” He’s referring now back to the institution of marriage in Genesis. “The two shall become one flesh, so that they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore,” now here’s our Lord’s conclusion, “what God has joined together, let not man put asunder or separate.” [00:17:04]

There are many theologians and many churches who will not permit divorce on any grounds, and they will call attention to this passage, and they say, “Here in the text what Jesus does is abrogates the Old Testament provision that was given, as it were, begrudgedly by the Author of marriage, God, and He allowed this practice of divorce on certain grounds only because of the hardness of the hearts of the people” – that God accommodated human wickedness to let people out of marriages that were defined by hardened hearts and giving some respite to people having to suffer under such conditions. [00:18:40]

But Jesus then points them beyond Deuteronomy, goes back to creation, and said, “But that’s not the way it was intended.” When God instituted marriage originally, hear me,—not because you want to hear but because you want to hear Jesus – there were no provisions for divorce. None. Marriage was intended to be forever. The marriage vows did not say, “As long as we stay in love, as long as we get along, as long as we remain faithful.” The marriage vow is, “As long as we both shall live.” [00:19:39]

In Matthew’s account, we have here in the God breathed New Testament what we call the exceptive clause, where Jesus still permits divorce, but He defines what are the permissible grounds for divorce, and that the permissible grounds are defined in terms of Jesus’ interpretation of the Mosaic law, where Jesus interprets the “unclean thing” in terms of what the text I just read from identifies as sexual immorality. [00:22:37]

Many churches define that sexual immorality strictly in terms of adultery, marital infidelity. Any other grounds are denied except for those added by the Apostle Paul in the case of a marriage where one partner is a Christian and the other was a non-Christian, and the non-Christian leaves the Christian or abandons and deserts the marriage. And so there the other reason given for marriage in most churches is the desertion of the unbeliever. [00:23:16]

Now again, I said I wish everybody would agree on this, but now the debate is, even among churches that grant divorce on the grounds of sexual immorality, the question is what is encompassed in the term that Jesus uses here. The term that Jesus uses here is the Greek word “pornia” from which we get the English word “pornography.” So Jesus said basically, “The only grounds for divorce here is the commission of ‘pornia.’” [00:24:55]

And so we see that in any case where Jesus comes down on this is at the point of a sexual violation of the sanctity of the marital union. Let me just quickly say, why is it, why does God even permit that? One of the things that I deal with all the time in the church, it can be a man, it can be a woman, but one partner goes out and commits adultery. The other partner finds out about it and is ready to sue for divorce. [00:27:13]

But the big problem in our day is the problem of people, even in the church, getting divorced over every reason in the world other than the ones the Bible allows. That God allows us to end our marriages when they have been violated by sexual immorality is an amazing condescension to human sin, but that condescension does not go so far as no fault divorce or divorce on the grounds of incompatibility. [00:29:08]

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Transcript
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