“Teach Me How to Love” Part I | Pastor CJ Fowler

Devotional

Day 1: Love God First: The Foundation of Wholeness

The greatest commandment calls us to love God with our entire being. This isn't just about outward actions, but a deep, internal devotion that transforms our thinking, our desires, and our very identity. When we prioritize loving God, we find the strength and clarity to love others well. This foundational love provides a secure place from which we can begin to heal and become whole.
Mark 12:29-30 (ESV)
"The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’"

Reflection: In what areas of your life do you find yourself holding back from giving God your complete heart, soul, mind, and strength? What would it look like to intentionally prioritize loving God in those specific areas this week?

Day 2: The Source of Love: God's Unconditional Affection

We often learn to love from broken environments, where jealousy might feel like passion or control like protection. However, God's love is different. He loved us in our mess, with all our imperfections. Understanding this unconditional love is crucial because it becomes the source from which all other healthy love flows. When we recognize His love for us, we are better equipped to extend that same grace to others.
1 John 4:19 (ESV)
"We love because he first loved us."

Reflection: Reflect on a time when you felt deeply loved by God, even in your imperfections. How can remembering that experience help you extend more grace and understanding to yourself and others today?

Day 3: Renewing Your Mind for Love

Our past experiences can shape our understanding of love, sometimes distorting it. Jealousy might be mistaken for passion, and control for protection. To truly love, our minds need to be renewed by God's truth. This renewal helps us to see love as it truly is, not as our past wounds have taught us. It allows us to move beyond unhealthy patterns and embrace a love that is pure and life-giving.
Romans 12:2 (ESV)
"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."

Reflection: Consider a time when your thinking about love or relationships was influenced by past hurts or unhealthy patterns. What specific truth from God's Word could help renew your mind in that area?

Day 4: Love as a Choice: Discipline and Commitment

Love is not merely a passive emotion; it is an active devotion expressed through obedience and discipline. It requires strength to forgive those who are not sorry, to set boundaries, and to remain committed even when it's difficult. Mature love is a conscious choice, a daily decision to love, especially when tested. This commitment to love, particularly in community, strengthens our resolve and helps us navigate life's challenges.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (ESV)
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

Reflection: Think about a relationship where commitment is being tested. What does it mean for you to actively choose love and commitment in that situation, even when it requires strength and discipline?

Day 5: Whole Life Devotion: Surrendering Your Soul

Loving God with all of our soul means offering our entire life to Him – our will, our emotions, our vitality. This is not about performing for God, but about a complete surrender of who we are. It's about recognizing that God sees us as we are and desires our authentic devotion. When our soul is surrendered to Him, our entire life becomes an act of worship, transforming our relationships and our walk with Him.
Deuteronomy 6:5 (ESV)
"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might."

Reflection: What aspects of your "soul" – your deepest desires, your emotional vitality, your very life – are you holding back from fully surrendering to God? What is one step you can take this week to offer that part of yourself to Him?

Sermon Summary

The congregation was called back to a foundational command: love God with undivided devotion. Drawing on Mark 12’s Shema, the preacher reoriented affection and practice so that vertical devotion becomes the interpretive lens for every human relationship. For a people shaped by survival—slavery, Jim Crow, redlining, and economic exclusion—love has too often meant protection, endurance, and hyper‑independence. The remedy offered is gospel wholeness: when God is loved first, identity is secured, fear is displaced, and the heart, mind, soul, and strength can be healed and rightly ordered.

Love with the heart addresses identity and desire; it calls for inward authenticity rather than performance or compartmentalized piety. Love with the mind requires cognitive renewal so trauma‑formed patterns (jealousy mistaken for passion, control mistaken for care) are exposed and reeducated by truth. Love with the strength insists that devotion is active—forgiveness, boundary‑setting, truthful speech, and the daily discipline of choosing sacrificial loyalty require moral muscle. Love with the soul demands whole‑life surrender, a cruciform pathway that gives God not merely parts of life but the totality of will, emotion, and living.

Practical implications follow: communities must teach formation at home; spiritual maturity includes emotional and mental restoration; commitment to church and faithful presence strengthens resilience; and mature love chooses rather than clings. The preacher rejects fear‑based faith as unstable, urging a move from “scared‑straight” religiosity to a settled conviction birthed by knowing God’s prior choice and sustaining grace. There is also a strong pastoral exhortation to stewardship, to prepare for God’s increase, and to participate in ongoing Bible study and communal accountability.

The tone balances prophetic challenge and pastoral encouragement—calling listeners to sober self‑examination without despair, to steady discipline without legalism, and to hope because God carries the broken and forms whole people. The overall summons is clear: reorder life around God so that love flows rightly—transforming identity, relationships, and daily choices into a faithful, resilient witness.

Key Takeaways

1. Love God first, not last Loving God first reorients every subsequent relationship; it secures identity so affection for others is not an attempt to fill a void. When God is the source, attachment patterns shift from survival‑driven clinging to chosen devotion, releasing people to form healthier boundaries and commitments. This first love also inoculates against idolatry of success, people, or performance. [40:30]
2. Move from survival to wholeness Historical and inherited survival strategies protected bodies but often left souls fragmented and emotionally guarded. Transformation requires naming trauma, practicing soul care, and allowing community to carry what individualism could not—so resilience becomes integrated, not merely adaptive. Wholeness reframes loyalty as healing, not just protection. [47:02]
3. Renew the mind with truth Cognitive renewal is pastoral work: unchecked thought patterns romanticize dysfunction and convert trauma into chemistry mistaken for love. Scripture reeducation reshapes desires, corrects false analogies (control ≠ protection), and frees discernment to choose life‑giving patterns. A renewed mind differentiates healthy affection from destructive mimicry. [73:23]
4. Strengthed love demands discipline True love acts; it forgives without enabling, sets boundaries without bitterness, and speaks truth that heals rather than flatters. Discipline is the muscle of charity—choosing sacrificial loyalty day by day and walking away when necessary to protect vocational and spiritual fruitfulness. Mature love is a decision repeatedly enacted, not a feeling that drifts. [76:49]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[38:24] - Opening praise and thanksgiving
[39:45] - Transition to Scripture reading
[40:11] - Reading: Mark 12:28–30
[43:46] - Series launch: Teach Me How To Love
[47:02] - Historical roots: survival and love
[50:15] - Loving God first: pathway to wholeness
[67:14] - Heart devotion: identity and will
[73:23] - Mind renewal and emotional truth
[76:49] - Strength: discipline and boundaries
[85:29] - Soul devotion: whole‑life surrender
[92:18] - Prayer and pastoral application
[99:29] - Invitation: Wednesday Bible study & giving
[111:23] - Declaration, promise, and benediction

Bible Study Guide

Here is a Bible study guide based on the sermon summary:

Bible Reading

Mark 12:28-30 (ESV)
"One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating, and recognizing that Jesus had given them a good answer, asked him, 'Of all the commandments, which is the most important?' Jesus replied, 'The most important is, "Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength."' "

Deuteronomy 6:4-5 (ESV)
"Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might."

Observation questions

The sermon highlights that for a people shaped by historical struggles, "love has too often meant protection, endurance, and hyper-independence." [47:02] What are some specific examples from history or personal experience that illustrate this point?
The teaching emphasizes that loving God with all your heart addresses "identity and desire; it calls for inward authenticity rather than performance or compartmentalized piety." [40:30] How does this contrast with a faith that is primarily about outward appearances or actions?
The sermon states that loving God with all your mind requires "cognitive renewal so trauma-formed patterns (jealousy mistaken for passion, control mistaken for care) are exposed and reeducated by truth." [44:03] What are some common "trauma-formed patterns" that might need reeducation by truth?
The teaching explains that loving God with all your strength "insists that devotion is active—forgiveness, boundary-setting, truthful speech, and the daily discipline of choosing sacrificial loyalty require moral muscle." [46:09] Can you identify an example where "moral muscle" was needed to express love actively?

Interpretation questions

The sermon suggests that historical survival strategies, while necessary for protection, often left souls "fragmented and emotionally guarded." [47:02] How can a focus on loving God first lead to healing and wholeness from these fragmented experiences?
The teaching contrasts "scared-straight" religiosity with a "settled conviction birthed by knowing God’s prior choice and sustaining grace." [53:55] What is the fundamental difference between these two approaches to faith, and why is one more stable than the other?
The sermon explains that loving God with all your mind involves "renewing the mind with truth" to differentiate "healthy affection from destructive mimicry." [44:03] How can we discern between genuine love and patterns that mimic love but are actually rooted in trauma or unhealthy desires?
The idea that "mature love chooses rather than clings" [01:22:03] is presented. How does choosing to love, as opposed to clinging, reflect a deeper understanding of God's love and a more mature expression of it?

Application questions

The core command is to love God with "all of your heart, with all of your soul, with all of your mind, and with all your strength." [40:30] In what specific area of your life (heart, soul, mind, or strength) do you feel God is calling you to give more undivided devotion right now?
The sermon speaks about moving "from survival to wholeness." [47:02] What is one practical step you can take this week to move from a survival-based approach to a more wholehearted way of living, perhaps by practicing soul care or seeking community support?
The teaching emphasizes that "renewing the mind with truth" is crucial for exposing and reeducating trauma-formed patterns. [44:03] What is one thought pattern or belief you hold that might be rooted in past experiences rather than biblical truth, and how can you begin to reeducate your mind with God's word in that area?
It was stated that "strengthened love demands discipline." [46:09] What is one area where you need to exercise more "moral muscle" in your love for others this week, whether it's through forgiveness, setting boundaries, or speaking truth with grace?
The sermon calls for "whole-life surrender" to God. [51:29] What is one aspect of your life that you have been holding back from God, and how can you begin to surrender it fully to Him this week?
The idea that "love God first, not last" reorients every subsequent relationship. [40:30] How can you intentionally prioritize your love for God in your daily routine this week, ensuring that your affections for others flow from that primary devotion?
The teaching encourages a move from "fear-based faith" to a "settled conviction birthed by knowing God’s prior choice and sustaining grace." [53:55] What is one fear that has been holding you back in your faith journey, and how can you actively remind yourself of God's prior choice and sustaining grace to overcome it?

Sermon Clips

31s

#LoveFromTheCore

“It's chordia. It means the center of your will, your desire, your identity. Jesus says, love god from the core of who you are, not who you pretend to be. Alright. And and many of us, we have heart wounds because we had to be strong too early. We were praised for performance. We weren't taught how to be soft.”

23s

#GodIsTheSource

“So now we had, watch me, a phone that's dead, a tablet that's dead, and a charger that's dead. Both were drained, both were empty, both were needing life, but when one is plugged into a source, now it has something to give. Why is that important, pastor? Because god is your source. Yes. People are the overflow. Come on. And you and I can't give what we don't have.”

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“Teach Me How to Love” Part I | Pastor CJ Fowler | Sunday Service