The parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector reveals that genuine friendship with God is not based on outward displays of righteousness or self-congratulation, but on a humble heart that recognizes its need for God’s mercy. The Pharisee, though outwardly devout, prays to himself and boasts of his own goodness, missing the mutual relationship that true friendship with God requires. In contrast, the tax collector stands at a distance, aware of his unworthiness, and simply pleads for mercy. It is this humility and honest acknowledgment of sin that opens the door to a real relationship with God, for “whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and the one who humbles himself will be exalted.” [46:40]
Luke 18:9-14 (ESV)
He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt: “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”
Reflection: In what area of your life do you find yourself comparing your goodness to others, and how can you instead approach God today with the humility of the tax collector?
Hope is the seed from which friendship with God grows. Just as a relationship begins with the hope of connection, so too does our relationship with God begin and flourish when we place our hope in His mercy rather than in our own efforts. The tax collector’s prayer, “O God, be merciful to me, a sinner,” springs from a deep hope that God can and will save him, despite his failures. This hope is not wishful thinking, but a confident trust that God’s love and mercy are greater than our sins, and that He desires friendship with us even when we feel unworthy. [52:26]
Romans 5:5 (ESV)
And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
Reflection: When you feel discouraged by your sins or failures, what would it look like to actively place your hope in God’s mercy today?
No matter how far we have fallen or how unworthy we feel, God’s mercy is always within reach for those who sincerely seek it. The tax collector, despite his reputation and real wrongdoing, does not let shame or despair keep him from turning to God. Instead, he acknowledges his sin and asks for mercy, and in that moment, God restores him to friendship and floods him with grace. This shows that God refuses His friendship to no one who hopes in Him, and that His mercy is greater than any sin. [53:06]
Psalm 51:17 (ESV)
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
Reflection: Is there a sin or area of shame in your life that you have hesitated to bring before God? What would it look like to honestly ask for His mercy today?
Despair is a deadly temptation that leads us to give up, become complacent, or fall deeper into sin, believing that God’s mercy is out of reach. But Christ teaches that we must never let our sins destroy our hope in Him. Even when we struggle with habitual sins, it is hope—expressed in the simple, sincere prayer for mercy—that opens the channel for God to recreate charity in our souls and restore our friendship with Him. [53:48]
Lamentations 3:22-24 (ESV)
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.”
Reflection: When you are tempted to despair over your weaknesses, what is one practical way you can remind yourself of God’s unfailing mercy and choose hope instead?
Our goodness does not earn us God’s friendship; rather, it is God’s friendship and love that make us good. This truth frees us from the burden of trying to prove ourselves worthy and invites us to rest in the reality that God’s love comes first. When we hope in Him and accept His friendship, He transforms us from within, making us capable of true goodness and charity. Never let your friendship with God fade because of your sins; instead, let hope in Him renew and sustain you. [54:26]
John 15:15-16 (ESV)
No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.
Reflection: How does knowing that God’s friendship comes before your goodness change the way you approach Him in prayer and daily life?
In today’s reflection, the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector invites a deep examination of what it means to be a friend of God. The Pharisee, though outwardly righteous and zealous for the law, approaches God with a heart full of self-reliance and pride. He stands apart, confident in his own goodness, and his prayer becomes a boast rather than a true conversation with God. In contrast, the tax collector, aware of his sinfulness and unworthiness, stands at a distance, unable even to lift his eyes to heaven. Yet, it is precisely in his humility and his plea for mercy that he opens himself to God’s friendship.
True friendship with God is not rooted in our own achievements or moral superiority, but in a mutual relationship founded on hope. Hope is the seed that allows us to reach out to God, trusting in His mercy even when we are painfully aware of our failures. The tax collector’s prayer, “O God, be merciful to me, a sinner,” is not just an admission of guilt, but an act of hope—a belief that God’s mercy is greater than our sin. This hope rekindles friendship with God, for God refuses His friendship to no one who sincerely hopes in Him.
It is easy, especially when struggling with habitual sin, to fall into despair or complacency, believing that we are beyond God’s friendship. But Christ teaches that our hope in Him is the key to restoration. We are not God’s friends because we are good; rather, we become good because we are first His friends. This friendship is activated and sustained by hope, not by our own perfection. No matter how far we have fallen, the simple, sincere plea for mercy opens the channel for God’s grace to restore us.
Therefore, never let your sins destroy your hope in God. Whether you identify more with the prideful Pharisee or the broken tax collector, remember that God’s friendship is always available to those who hope in Him. Let your hope be the foundation of your relationship with God, and experience the transforming power of His mercy and love.
Are you a friend of God? I think Yeah, that's good. Amen. I think many of us who struggle with sin can question this. Discouraged as we fail time after time, falling into the same sin. We might wonder, "Do I truly desire God's friendship? Because surely if I did, I would not be falling into sin so often. Am I really a friend of God? Well, in today's gospel, we have a story of friendship with God. [00:47:13]
But there is one friendship here. Which one is the friend of God? And answering this comes from understanding what friendship is. Because friendship must have mutual relationship as its basis. And of these two figures, only one of them had this two-way relationship. And the way that we can tap into this relationship is through hope. [00:48:09]
Just as when a man falls in love with a woman at first sight and at that first sight hopes to have her and thus begins the seed of that friendship. So must your hope be for God. [00:48:38]
Hope in God is your ticket to friendship with God. To see this, let's first look at the Pharisee in the parable we just heard. It's important first of all to know that the Pharisees in the time of Jesus were really the good guys. We have this imagination of them being kind of all wicked people, but actually they were considered the good guys in a time of great corruption about them. [00:48:56]
The Pharisees were the ones who were zealous for the Torah. They understood that the law was the means by which the Jew manifests his love for God. But in this story, this apparently holy Pharisee undermines that holiness by attributing it to himself. [00:49:21]
As we listen to the parable, we hear that he takes up his position into the temple, a hint at his sort of pride and self-worth. It further says the Pharisee said the prayer to himself and this is what the prayer was. Oh God, I thank you that I am not like the rest of humanity, greedy, dishonest, adulterous or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week. I pay tithes on my whole income. [00:49:44]
Now what's wrong here? What's wrong is that this is not a prayer. It's a boast. He did not truly desire friendship with God because he thought he didn't need it. Seeing all the good things in his life, he falsely attributes them to himself rather than to God. [00:50:18]
He hoped in himself rather than in God and thus hindered the source of that goodness from God that God was offering him in that friendship. [00:50:43]
In those days tax collectors were really the bad guys. They cooperated with the unjust laws and practices of the Roman Empire. They were the means of a lot of suffering for a lot of very innocent people and were rightly identified as traitors to the Jewish state. But look at the stark difference between the Pharisee and this great sinner, the tax collector. [00:51:03]
Acknowledging his unworthiness, he does not even dare to raise up his eyes nor enter the temple. And then he says these key words that express something deep within him. Oh God, be merciful to me a sinner. [00:51:41]
What was this plea? Where did this plea come from? It came came from that deep desire that the Pharisee had within him. That divine holy theological hope, the desire for the eternal good of God, knowing that God could save him from his sin. [00:52:05]
God planted in the tax collector that desire for him. And that tax collector realized that despite his sinfulness, despite the punishment he merited for his sin, he still had access to that friendship with God in his infinite mercy. [00:52:32]
While the Pharisee in his self-import could not see this, the tax collector realizing his lack and the ability for God to save him reaches out to God for mercy. And that prayer transformed. From that moment, friendship was rekindled because God refuses his friendship to no one who hopes in him. [00:52:45]
Through hope, the tax collector opened the way for relationship with God. Brothers and sisters, you are all sinners and so am I. Often, especially when we struggle with habitual sins, we can be tempted to give up, which often leads us to complacency or to binge in our sin or never seek his mercy and thereby fall deeper and deeper and deeper into it. This is despair. This kills the soul. [00:53:20]
What Christ is teaching us in this gospel is that we must never let our sins destroy our hope in him. Because that hope in him is our key to a restored friendship with him. [00:53:41]
Whether you are the prideful Pharisee or the greedy tax collector, by expressing these simple words with sincerity, "Oh God, be merciful to me a sinner," you open up a channel by which God can recreate charity in your soul, activated by that friendship. [00:53:57]
This is vital to understand. You are not God's friend because you are good. Rather, you are good because you were first God's friend. And that friendship is activated by hope. So never let your friendship with your God be faded by your sins. Hope in him and experience his loving friendship. [00:54:36]
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