Subordinating Desire: The Path to True Love

 

Summary

In our journey through life, we often grapple with the concepts of flesh, desire, and love. It's crucial to understand that the flesh, or our natural abilities, is not inherently bad. It is what allows us to function in the world, and without it, we couldn't live. Similarly, desire is not evil; it is a fundamental part of our existence. From the moment we are born, desire drives us to seek nourishment and connection. However, unchecked desire can become obsessive and lead to conflict, both internally and externally.

The role of the will is to guide us towards what is good, transcending mere desire. Love, unlike desire, is aligned with the good. It is essential to differentiate between love and desire, as they are not synonymous. Love is about seeking the good for others, while desire is about fulfilling personal wants. This distinction is vital in understanding how to live a life that is not only fulfilling but also harmonious.

Buddhists and Stoics have long taught the elimination of desire, but this is an illusion. Desire cannot be eradicated without compromising our very existence. Instead, it should be subordinated to the good. When desire is unchecked, it leads to conflict, as illustrated in James 4, where wars and fightings are said to stem from our pleasures and desires. The challenge is to subordinate desire to the good, allowing love to guide our actions.

Children often exemplify the struggle between desire and the good. They may want a trinket, only to realize its lack of value once obtained. This learning process is crucial in understanding the difference between what we want and what is truly good. As we mature, we must learn to subordinate our desires to the good, allowing love to lead us in our decisions and actions.

Key Takeaways:

1. Flesh and Natural Abilities: Our flesh, or natural abilities, is not inherently evil. It is essential for our existence and allows us to function in the world. Understanding this helps us appreciate our capabilities while recognizing the need for divine guidance in our lives. [00:24]

2. The Role of Desire: Desire is a fundamental part of life, driving us from birth. However, unchecked desire can become obsessive and lead to conflict. It is crucial to subordinate desire to the good, allowing love to guide our actions. [01:22]

3. Love vs. Desire: Love and desire are not synonymous. Love seeks the good for others, while desire focuses on personal wants. Differentiating between the two helps us live a life that is both fulfilling and harmonious. [02:55]

4. The Illusion of Eliminating Desire: The idea of eliminating desire is an illusion. Desire cannot be eradicated without compromising our existence. Instead, it should be subordinated to the good, allowing us to live a balanced life. [01:53]

5. Learning from Children: Children exemplify the struggle between desire and the good. Their learning process teaches us the importance of subordinating desires to what is truly good, allowing love to lead our decisions. [03:39]

Youtube Chapters:

[00:00] - Welcome
[00:24] - Understanding Flesh
[00:51] - The Role of Desire
[01:22] - Desire and Conflict
[01:53] - Illusion of Eliminating Desire
[02:24] - Desire and Conflict in Scripture
[02:55] - Love vs. Desire
[03:25] - Children's Learning Process
[03:52] - The Difference Between Want and Good
[04:16] - Conclusion and Reflection

Study Guide

### Bible Study Discussion Guide

#### Bible Reading
1. James 4:1-3 - "What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures."

2. Galatians 5:16-17 - "So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want."

#### Observation Questions
1. According to the sermon, how does the concept of "flesh" differ from the common understanding of it as merely physical? [00:24]
2. What role does desire play in our lives, and why is it not inherently bad? [01:22]
3. How does the sermon describe the relationship between love and desire? [02:55]
4. What example from the sermon illustrates the difference between desire and what is truly good? [03:39]

#### Interpretation Questions
1. How does the passage in James 4 relate to the sermon’s discussion on the conflictual nature of desire? [02:24]
2. In what ways does the sermon suggest that unchecked desire can lead to internal and external conflict? [01:22]
3. How does the sermon’s view on love align with the biblical understanding of love as seeking the good for others? [02:55]
4. What lessons can be drawn from the example of children in understanding the difference between desire and the good? [03:39]

#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a time when your desires led to conflict in your life. How might subordinating those desires to the good have changed the outcome? [02:24]
2. Consider an area in your life where unchecked desire might be leading you away from what is good. What steps can you take to align your desires with love and the good? [01:22]
3. How can you differentiate between love and desire in your relationships, ensuring that your actions are guided by love? [02:55]
4. Think of a recent decision you made based on desire rather than what is truly good. How can you learn from this experience to make better choices in the future? [03:39]
5. Identify a desire in your life that you feel is in conflict with your spiritual growth. What practical steps can you take to subordinate this desire to the good? [02:24]
6. How can you apply the lesson from children’s learning processes to your own life, particularly in distinguishing between what you want and what is truly good? [03:39]
7. In what ways can you seek divine guidance to better understand and manage your natural abilities and desires? [00:24]

Devotional

I'm ready to provide the 5-day devotional based on the steps outlined. Here it is:

Day 1: Embracing Our Natural Abilities
Our natural abilities, or the flesh, are not inherently evil. They are essential for our existence and allow us to function in the world. Recognizing this helps us appreciate our capabilities while also understanding the need for divine guidance in our lives. The flesh is what enables us to interact with the world, and without it, we couldn't live. However, it is important to remember that while our natural abilities are good, they should be guided by a higher purpose. This understanding allows us to live a life that is both grounded and spiritually aware. [00:24]

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." (Psalm 139:13-14, ESV)

Reflection: How can you use your natural abilities today to serve others and glorify God?


Day 2: Guiding Desire with Love
Desire is a fundamental part of life, driving us from birth. However, unchecked desire can become obsessive and lead to conflict. It is crucial to subordinate desire to the good, allowing love to guide our actions. Desire is not inherently bad; it is what motivates us to seek nourishment and connection. Yet, when desire is left unchecked, it can lead to internal and external conflicts. The challenge is to guide our desires with love, ensuring that they align with what is good and beneficial for ourselves and others. [01:22]

"Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life." (Proverbs 4:23, ESV)

Reflection: What is one desire in your life that needs to be guided by love today?


Day 3: Distinguishing Love from Desire
Love and desire are not synonymous. Love seeks the good for others, while desire focuses on personal wants. Differentiating between the two helps us live a life that is both fulfilling and harmonious. Love is about seeking the good for others, transcending mere personal wants. Understanding this distinction is vital in living a life that is not only fulfilling but also harmonious. By prioritizing love over desire, we can make decisions that benefit not only ourselves but also those around us. [02:55]

"Let all that you do be done in love." (1 Corinthians 16:14, ESV)

Reflection: Think of a recent decision you made. Was it motivated by love or desire? How might you approach it differently now?


Day 4: The Reality of Desire
The idea of eliminating desire is an illusion. Desire cannot be eradicated without compromising our existence. Instead, it should be subordinated to the good, allowing us to live a balanced life. Desire is an integral part of our being, and attempting to eliminate it entirely is neither practical nor beneficial. Instead, the focus should be on guiding our desires towards what is good and beneficial. By doing so, we can live a balanced and fulfilling life, where our actions are aligned with our values and beliefs. [01:53]

"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him." (1 John 2:15, ESV)

Reflection: What is one desire you have that might be leading you away from what is truly good? How can you redirect it?


Day 5: Learning from the Innocence of Children
Children exemplify the struggle between desire and the good. Their learning process teaches us the importance of subordinating desires to what is truly good, allowing love to lead our decisions. Children often desire things that seem appealing but lack true value. This learning process is crucial in understanding the difference between what we want and what is truly good. As we mature, we must learn to subordinate our desires to the good, allowing love to guide our decisions and actions. [03:39]

"Brothers, do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking be mature." (1 Corinthians 14:20, ESV)

Reflection: Reflect on a recent situation where you acted on impulse. What can you learn from this experience to make more mature decisions in the future?

Quotes

"Flesh is not bad it is not evil. By the way, it's not the same thing as meat. It isn't the stuff on your bones right, and so there are a whole lot of confusions here that might be addressed, but your flesh is simply your natural abilities. It's what you can do without assistance, direct assistance from God. Of course, indirectly you couldn't do anything without God anyway, but direct assistance. So you see that over and over in the New Testament and in the Old Testament, but this flesh is not bad. We couldn't live without it." [00:24]

"Desire is not bad but desire is obsessive, and it does not consider the broader scene. That is the role of the will, which acts, is supposed to act for what is good and not just what is wanted. See, love puts us in the domain of what is good and the will is supposed to follow that now." [01:22]

"Buddhists and Stoics have taught that you need to eliminate desire, and the first thing to say about that is anyone who thinks they have done that is under an illusion. You cannot eliminate desire and live, but desiring itself is not wrong. It's not to be eliminated; it is to be subordinated to what is good and then desire is fine." [01:53]

"Where do wars and fightings come from? It turns comes out from your pleasures and your desires. Desire is essentially conflictual and you experience that in yourself, and you say boy I'd really like to have that Maserati, and then you find out the price. Desire is conflictual; it has to be subordinated to good." [02:24]

"Always remember don't use love, desire, and love in the same way. They don't mean the same thing. You may say you love chocolate cake, but you don't. You want to eat it. That's very different from love. I mean, you could imagine someone who just took care of chocolate cake, but you'd think they were nuts, right? And they would be." [02:55]

"So you always have to keep love and desire in two different sections and understand that love is subordinated to good. Desire is simply a matter of 'I want that,' and you see it most vividly in children because they're not able to compare, and you know how they see a trinket and they want to blow their allowance on the trinket." [03:25]

"And you're standing there saying now you don't want that, and the child is saying oh I want that, and then finally you may give in and 15 minutes later the trinket is broken and the child turns to and said why did you let me buy that. Have you seen that? They do that. That's their process of learning the difference between what you want and what is good." [03:52]

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Transcript
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