On Target - Arrows for Stronger Relationships

The exposition centers on Ephesians 5:21 and develops a theological framework for relationships rooted in mutual submission to Christ. It argues that strong relationships begin when individuals move from me-centered living to we-centered living, and that Christian relational health is not accidental but formed by intentional practices shaped by Scripture. The notion of submission is reframed: it means placing oneself under Christ so that placing others’ interests above one’s own becomes a habitual posture, not self-effacing servility. Mutual submission is shown to be reciprocal and Christ-centered — husbands are called to sacrificial love as much as wives are called to respectful submission — and leadership is redefined as laying down rights, not asserting control.

Practical observations highlight that mutual submission requires humility, which is grounded in identity in Christ rather than in cultural status or personal insecurity. Respect is given because every person bears God’s image; trust, however, must be earned and grows through consistent faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control empowered by the Spirit. The talk contrasts compromise (scorekeeping and competition) with cooperation (mutual sacrifice and shared flourishing), urging cooperation as the biblical alternative. The Lord’s Supper is presented as the ultimate expression and rehearsal of mutual submission — a tangible reminder that reconciliation costs something and that Jesus’ self-giving makes “we” possible. Attendees are invited to apply these principles in everyday encounters, in family life, and in community, and to participate in further training to strengthen relational skills.

Key Takeaways

• 1. From me-centered to we-centered living Strong relationships require a reorientation of priorities: personal convenience cannot remain the baseline for decision-making. When one chooses the flourishing of others as a default posture, relationships move from fragile transactions toward durable, kingdom-shaped bonds. This reorientation is spiritual work, rooted in surrender to Christ’s lordship over personal autonomy. [06:23]
• 2. Mutual submission is Christ-centered posture Submitting to one another must be understood as placing oneself under Christ’s authority rather than under human dominance. True mutuality flows from seeing Jesus’ humility and sacrifice as the model for how power is used, not preserved. This posture frees leaders to serve sacrificially and the vulnerable to receive dignity without becoming doormats. [19:11]
• 3. Choose others above personal desires Choosing others does not mean forfeiting boundaries or safety; it means recalibrating desires so the good of the neighbor—not merely personal preference—shapes action. This requires trusting that God sustains sacrificial choices and that generosity can be practiced without collapsing identity. In healthy mutuality, needs are met by reciprocal service, not by scorekeeping. [23:26]
• 4. Humility creates trust and respect Humility in Scripture is rooted in identity in Christ: knowing worth as God’s image-bearer removes the insecurity that demands constant validation. Respect is given because people reflect God; trust is built slowly through repeated faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. When humility becomes the soil, trust can grow and relationships can withstand scars and brokenness. [24:10]

Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [01:20] - Opening, Announcements, Prayer
• [02:39] - Relate Strong Weekend Invitation
• [05:15] - Memory Verse: Ephesians 5:21
• [06:23] - Move from Me to We
• [11:15] - Defining Submission
• [16:04] - Mutual Submission Explained
• [19:11] - Christ-Centered Posture in Relationships
• [23:26] - Choosing Others Over Desires
• [24:10] - Humility, Trust, and Respect
• [29:46] - Communion: The Lord’s Supper
• [32:13] - Closing Prayer and Invitation

1. The sermon emphasizes moving from "me-centered living to we-centered living." What does this shift look like in practical terms, and how does it contrast with our natural inclinations? [06:23]
2. The concept of "submission" is reframed as placing oneself under Christ's authority, not human dominance. How does understanding Christ as the ultimate authority change the way we view submission to others? [15:09]
3. The sermon highlights that respect is given because every person bears God's image, while trust must be earned. What is the difference between giving respect and building trust, and how do they function differently in relationships? [24:34]
4. The sermon contrasts "compromise" with "cooperation," suggesting cooperation is the biblical alternative. What are the key differences between these two approaches, and why is cooperation presented as the better model? [28:06]

1. The sermon explains that mutual submission is a "Christ-centered posture" and that true mutuality flows from seeing Jesus' humility and sacrifice as the model for how power is used. How does Jesus' example of washing the disciples' feet illustrate this Christ-centered posture in relationships? [22:30]
2. The idea of "choosing others above personal desires" is presented not as becoming a doormat but as trusting God to sustain sacrificial choices. How does this perspective help individuals maintain their identity and boundaries while still prioritizing the needs of others? [23:26]
3. Humility, rooted in identity in Christ, is described as the "soil" where trust can grow. How does understanding our worth as God's image-bearers, rather than relying on external validation, enable us to build deeper, more resilient trust in our relationships? [25:25]
4. The Lord's Supper is presented as the ultimate expression and rehearsal of mutual submission, reminding us that reconciliation costs something and Jesus' self-giving makes "we" possible. How does participating in communion together tangibly reinforce the principles of mutual submission and cooperation discussed in the sermon? [29:46]

1. Consider a relationship where you tend to be "me-centered." What is one specific, small step you can take this week to intentionally shift towards "we-centered living" in that relationship? [06:23]
2. When you think about submitting to others, what is your immediate reaction or feeling? How can you begin to reframe submission as placing yourself under Christ's authority, rather than feeling like you are being controlled or diminished? [15:09]
3. Think about a relationship where trust has been difficult to build or has been broken. What are some practical ways you can demonstrate faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, empowered by the Holy Spirit, to begin rebuilding that trust? [26:30]
4. In your interactions this week, whether at home, at work, or in community, how can you consciously adopt a "Christ-centered posture" in how you communicate and interact with others, especially when they might be having a difficult day? [19:11]
5. When faced with a situation where compromise seems like the easiest option, how can you actively choose cooperation instead, focusing on mutual sacrifice and shared flourishing for everyone involved? [28:06]
6. Reflect on the idea that our value comes from being created in God's image and loved by Him, not from how others treat us. How can this truth help you navigate situations where you might feel insecure or seek validation from others? [25:25]
7. How can you intentionally practice the principle of choosing others above your personal desires in a specific situation this week, trusting that God will sustain you in that sacrificial choice? [23:26]